WEBVTT - What we've learned so far - from relationship tips to avoiding sextortion scams!

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, I'm Francisca Rudkin and I'm Louise Area, and we

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<v Speaker 1>are back for season four of our New Zealand Herald podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>The Little Things, a podcast where we talk to experts

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<v Speaker 1>and find out all the little things you need to

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<v Speaker 1>know to improve all areas of your life and cut

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<v Speaker 1>through the confusion and overload of information out there because

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<v Speaker 1>we know how overwhelming it can be. To kick off

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<v Speaker 1>season four, we wanted to look back at what we've

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<v Speaker 1>learned in the first three seasons of this podcast and

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<v Speaker 1>how that information may have changed our lives. Has it

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<v Speaker 1>changed our lives for the better, and what do we

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<v Speaker 1>still have to work on? So it's the moment of truth. Louise,

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<v Speaker 1>would you like to start? Did you have a favorite

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<v Speaker 1>We shouldn't have favorites, but did you have a favorite

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<v Speaker 1>episode or guests from last season? Well? I think because

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<v Speaker 1>we're quite intentional about what we want to achieve with this,

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<v Speaker 1>I do love them all. But there's always something that

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<v Speaker 1>surprised me and I thought Ester Perium, I thought talking

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<v Speaker 1>about how to care for the older people in our lives,

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<v Speaker 1>was it was particularly relevant for me at the time

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<v Speaker 1>with a neighbor, but also just so I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>heartfelt and beautiful. I really enjoyed her. Joe Cribb I

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<v Speaker 1>loved about women in the workforce. Brad Leeper was crat

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<v Speaker 1>on the hair episode, and obviously, you know, I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>we both would have picked Stacy Simms as one of

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<v Speaker 1>our favorites too for nutrition and exercise. Oh yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've been a huge fan of Stacy's for a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>so it was great to have her on the show.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought Jeremy Cribs was really interesting talking about ozm PEC,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's something I still think about actually quite a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I think about that conversation we had, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>about how amazing it could be for our health industry

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<v Speaker 1>and how it could change people's lives, and how it

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<v Speaker 1>could also just be abused by people that don't necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>need it anyway, since there's going to be a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more of those compass yeah no. And he was just

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<v Speaker 1>so great at explaining it all to us and things,

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<v Speaker 1>so I enjoyed that too. I also loved our chat

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<v Speaker 1>with Esther about how we approached conversations with elderly family

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<v Speaker 1>and friends about you know, how to look after them

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<v Speaker 1>later on in life. I think it's one of those

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<v Speaker 1>episodes you don't know until you need it. You didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know you needed it. Yeah, right, And then I think

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of us were going okay, there's quite a

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<v Speaker 1>lot there to take on board. I also loved talking

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<v Speaker 1>to Joe robertson I always leave a podcast after listening

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<v Speaker 1>to her going okay, there's some very simple ways I

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<v Speaker 1>could go home and have a better relationship with everybody

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<v Speaker 1>in my household. So I really loved that as well. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>I love them all. Yeah. Was there a piece of

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<v Speaker 1>advice that you would that you would take away well

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<v Speaker 1>that resonated with you on any of them? Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>think Well, going back to Joe, she spoke about the

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<v Speaker 1>bidden bite, which I thought was fascinating. And that's such

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<v Speaker 1>a simple thing. I know a lot of people are

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<v Speaker 1>familiar with that term. You know, if someone asks a

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<v Speaker 1>question or they throw something out there, and we might

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<v Speaker 1>be tired and not particularly interested, and it's really easy

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<v Speaker 1>just to kind of grunt and response instead of sort

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<v Speaker 1>of saying, oh, no, tell me about that or what

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<v Speaker 1>was that about? And actually, you know, biting and getting

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<v Speaker 1>and having a conversation and communicating, And that was really

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<v Speaker 1>interesting and it wasn't just with my partner, but I

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<v Speaker 1>did with my kids as well. You know, there'd be

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<v Speaker 1>times when, you know, specially when you have a daughter

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<v Speaker 1>with ADHD who likes to deep dive into topics which

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<v Speaker 1>you don't really need to know all about, but you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd say to myself, actually, you know, tut, let's bite,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we'd end up having this really interesting conversation

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<v Speaker 1>and she would feel like, you know, she was listening

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<v Speaker 1>to Well, it was that whole lessen scenelessen her, doesn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually that's right. That was great advice. So that, and

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<v Speaker 1>also I just love the way Joe said that it's

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<v Speaker 1>okay we can get intimacy from lots of different people.

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<v Speaker 1>Doesn't have to be your partner. It can be good

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<v Speaker 1>good friends, close friends, things like that. I thought that

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<v Speaker 1>was really interesting. I really loved Aaron and the episode

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<v Speaker 1>that we did with her on just creating good habits.

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<v Speaker 1>It was so practical and it was all about being

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<v Speaker 1>really simple and picking one thing and habit stacking. I

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<v Speaker 1>am habit stacking things people, I'm habit stacking everyone else

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<v Speaker 1>in my house. Now I'm saying, well, when you do this,

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<v Speaker 1>just do this. When you do that we just do this,

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<v Speaker 1>and I thought that was that was a really great

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<v Speaker 1>tip that resonate with me. Oh, she was great. Her

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<v Speaker 1>tip when you say simple, really really simple, right, Like

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<v Speaker 1>you know, she noted with all the clients that they

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<v Speaker 1>make an effort to make really lovely dinners and if

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<v Speaker 1>that's the only meal you've got time to make and

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<v Speaker 1>eff it with, make more of it and then you've

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<v Speaker 1>got a really great lunch the next day. Just little

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<v Speaker 1>little life hacks that are not crazy. Like it's not

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<v Speaker 1>like eat all the cotd of cheese in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really simple, easy thing to do to acrease

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<v Speaker 1>of joy in your day. I think I liked Joe

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<v Speaker 1>crib talking about value when you're worse and telling us

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<v Speaker 1>to put our big girl pants on. And that's stumondous

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<v Speaker 1>for me. Actually, I feel more valued in my workplace

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<v Speaker 1>just from having articulated what I need. And I really

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<v Speaker 1>liked Matt Heath and Doogle Southerlands or they were great?

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<v Speaker 1>Would they so good? And I just that whole thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I could just literally go home and say, I've heard

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<v Speaker 1>it from two men who've done all the research that

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<v Speaker 1>being grumpy in midlife is just a little lazy, So

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<v Speaker 1>not advice from me, per se, but vice I was

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<v Speaker 1>happy to pass on. Well, I think you ended that

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<v Speaker 1>podcast by saying you they just to get on with it.

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<v Speaker 1>Does that I did home? Did you go home and

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<v Speaker 1>do that? But I'm not sure. I suppose the question

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<v Speaker 1>is like we always find every podcast fascinating that there's

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<v Speaker 1>lots of things within them that we go, oh, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a nugget, that's a bit of a nugget. Actually, what

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<v Speaker 1>have you taken on board and implemented? Like I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>we had this conversation every season. You're such a good student.

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<v Speaker 1>You go away and you try things out and you

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<v Speaker 1>trial them, and then I'm always sort of the one

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<v Speaker 1>going you know, I'm meaning to give that a go.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're quite good at implementing things. This reason I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted this reason I wanted to do this. I need

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to the source. I need to go to

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<v Speaker 1>the source to get the information, and once I have it,

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<v Speaker 1>I will use it. Yes, as I say, Joe, I

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<v Speaker 1>updated my sea being shocked myself with the new skills

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<v Speaker 1>and experience I've had thinking I was sort of stagnating

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<v Speaker 1>in a place for ten years, and then actually reflected

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<v Speaker 1>on it I really recommend people do this, and AI

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<v Speaker 1>is actually really useful for doing it to get the

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<v Speaker 1>layout sorted and then adding skills, and I was really

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<v Speaker 1>gosmacked at what I had learned and I'm not stagnating

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<v Speaker 1>at all. And then that led to a renegotiation of

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<v Speaker 1>my salary, which has been great. And also as we

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<v Speaker 1>talked about protein, protein protein, with Stacey adding that has

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<v Speaker 1>definitely helped with my satiety and not eating between meals

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<v Speaker 1>and things like that. I don't know, you know, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not lean and mean yet or anything, but yeah, just

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<v Speaker 1>actually just accepting it. I think you are getting leaner

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<v Speaker 1>and miner and fitter and stronger, all those things. I

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<v Speaker 1>think the last three seasons have oh yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>working towards that well consistently. Yeah yeah, So what about you?

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<v Speaker 1>What have you implemented? Well? I am very excited to

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<v Speaker 1>say that I took some of the information out of

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<v Speaker 1>some of the information that we received in a podcast

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<v Speaker 1>was hugely beneficial to me when I got six storted.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh lord, yes, I don't know if I've really told

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<v Speaker 1>you about this. So we did that particular, we did

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<v Speaker 1>an episode on sixtortion and especially how it is impacting

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<v Speaker 1>young adults and men in particular a lot overseas, not

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<v Speaker 1>just not just young girls. And it's not about sex,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not about shaming you about sex. It's about money.

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<v Speaker 1>So I received I hadn't really noticed, but I was

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<v Speaker 1>in my junk box one day and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a title subject this is You've been hacked, And

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<v Speaker 1>so I went what And the A in the hacked

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<v Speaker 1>was like an ad like it wasn't sort of spout

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<v Speaker 1>correctly or anything. So I opened the email and basically

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<v Speaker 1>it said, we've hacked your computer. We've been following you

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<v Speaker 1>for about three months now. We have noticed that you

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<v Speaker 1>watch porn. We have recorded you watching porn and masturbating.

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<v Speaker 1>Apologies the conversation here, that the lowering of the time

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<v Speaker 1>of the conversation, and we have this on video, and

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<v Speaker 1>if you don't give us two thousand dollars now, we're

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<v Speaker 1>going to release that. You can click here for proof.

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<v Speaker 1>So I immediately thank you so much to Netscape and

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<v Speaker 1>the information we got out in our sex tution episode.

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<v Speaker 1>I immediately went, I don't think so well, actually, okay, truth,

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<v Speaker 1>I panicked. I felt sick. Even though watching I felt sick.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt you know how everything stops and the adrenaline

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<v Speaker 1>just bursts through the body and you're sitting there going,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my godness, what's going on here? And then I went, Francesca,

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<v Speaker 1>you are so boring. You're not that interesting. You don't

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<v Speaker 1>watch porn, so watching when you watch porn because you

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<v Speaker 1>don't watch porn, so you're bored. So then I went, okay, okay, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And the email there was sort of gaps in the

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<v Speaker 1>in the in the paragraphs, and it was really badly

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<v Speaker 1>put together, and I went, this is a fishing exercise.

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<v Speaker 1>This has been sent to Goodness knows how many emails

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<v Speaker 1>from that have been retrieved from some hack somewhere, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not and I just went, I know what to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you to the episode. I blocked them, I deleted them,

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<v Speaker 1>and I didn't think about it again. But Lou I

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<v Speaker 1>did think how an eighteen year old boy may be

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<v Speaker 1>when that comes through, would have that same feeling of

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<v Speaker 1>sick feeling, and then they're going to click on that

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<v Speaker 1>show me the proof. God knows where that gets you.

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<v Speaker 1>But you've shown some interest and you're probably locked in

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<v Speaker 1>and it's so easy to do. So that was hugely beneficial.

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<v Speaker 1>To me, who would have thought? And then I got

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<v Speaker 1>that excited that someone had tried to well, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>that is really really good, real life example of how

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<v Speaker 1>awful these things are and how easy it is to

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<v Speaker 1>get sucked in. And as you say, as an adult

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<v Speaker 1>female not watching porn, you can safely say, but I

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<v Speaker 1>do love that you said, but I don't watch porn,

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<v Speaker 1>and then but it wasn't that was it also spelled

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<v Speaker 1>badly and the paragraphs went right, you don't watch one.

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<v Speaker 1>You could have clicked out at any point. Never mind, well,

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<v Speaker 1>but you're not thinking clearly, no emails like that. You

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<v Speaker 1>just don't think it's followed by the police. I think

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<v Speaker 1>that was very beneficial. Have there been any fails on

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<v Speaker 1>your well, anything you wanted to achieve that you haven't.

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<v Speaker 1>The funny thing is that in six stortion episode I

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<v Speaker 1>went home and talked to my kids immediately, and they

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<v Speaker 1>were just so blase about it and like, oh, yeah, mum,

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<v Speaker 1>we know when well you don't. And I actually, thinking

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<v Speaker 1>back on it, I do need to talk to them

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<v Speaker 1>again about and maybe do my own research a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit more about literally every type of thing, because you're

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<v Speaker 1>saying that gives me the Willies. You know, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>that could happen to any one of my kids. And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what they do when they're, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>not downtime, but I can imagine it'd be pretty easy

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<v Speaker 1>to convince them that they've done something naughty or something

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<v Speaker 1>that they were ashamed of. The Other thing is, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>the Joe Robinson stuff. I mean, you know, there's a big,

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<v Speaker 1>big list of things on our plates, isn't there, Francis

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<v Speaker 1>scat And perhaps I could just keep making sure that

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<v Speaker 1>I am biting on those bids and also just showing

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<v Speaker 1>some more physical touch as well, because it's all too

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<v Speaker 1>easy to leave the house and just yell from the

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<v Speaker 1>dork front door that you're leaving and not actually say goodbye.

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<v Speaker 1>We can have a hug after this, you'll get your go.

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<v Speaker 1>We could do that, Yeah, we could, What about you?

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<v Speaker 1>I loved our conversation with Stacy Simms, and I've definitely

0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.000
<v Speaker 1>increased a lot more protein into my diet and that

0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:55.679
<v Speaker 1>is definitely helping with me not wanting to have a

0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.840
<v Speaker 1>nap at two o'clock every day. But I'm still not

0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.800
<v Speaker 1>great at getting the protein in before exercising. I'll grab

0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:03.440
<v Speaker 1>a banana and eat a little bit, but I'm just

0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.640
<v Speaker 1>sort of working on being a bit more. I've got

0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:07.760
<v Speaker 1>to work still on being a bit more strategic about

0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.680
<v Speaker 1>when I eat around my exercise. Yeah, it's that thought

0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:14.320
<v Speaker 1>of if you're already exercising early, that thought of having

0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.679
<v Speaker 1>to get another fifteen minutes earlier again to eat something.

0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:19.800
<v Speaker 1>But there are lots of quick fixes to that, protein balls,

0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.360
<v Speaker 1>protein cookies, stuff that you know, you don't already thinking

0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:24.080
<v Speaker 1>about it. You just stuff and any god and getting

0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:27.000
<v Speaker 1>on with your day. So yeah, I'm sure lots of

0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.439
<v Speaker 1>us would find that a bit of a challenge, but

0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.360
<v Speaker 1>it's worth doing. What are you looking forward to with

0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.720
<v Speaker 1>the season four? Well, you know, like I say, we've

0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.720
<v Speaker 1>done what we've done Skinky, and we've done here, and

0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.480
<v Speaker 1>I've gotten a lot out of both of those, and

0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.240
<v Speaker 1>we're going to be doing makeup, so I'm quite excited

0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.400
<v Speaker 1>about that surprise. You've literally got a shopping list, just

0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:47.280
<v Speaker 1>sort of a pen and paper, really what I need

0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.480
<v Speaker 1>to get. We're going to talk about midlife metabolism and

0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.199
<v Speaker 1>insulent resistance and stuff like that. That's definitely something that's

0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:56.200
<v Speaker 1>been on my radar for a while. What about you,

0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>We're also going to talk about being active in menopause, yes,

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.839
<v Speaker 1>and perimenopause and middle age and things. We're going to

0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:04.280
<v Speaker 1>talk a bit about gut health and both of those

0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.000
<v Speaker 1>sort of come back to me talking about you know,

0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.880
<v Speaker 1>I've got to still working out how to improve on

0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 1>both of those things. And we're going to have a

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:14.240
<v Speaker 1>conversation about grief as well, and also being an empty nester,

0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.439
<v Speaker 1>because at this time of the year there's a lot

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.200
<v Speaker 1>of kids leaving home heading off to university. Might be

0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.320
<v Speaker 1>your first, your second, or your last child leaving and

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 1>that can be quite a full on time for parents,

0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:26.880
<v Speaker 1>and it can kind of creep up on them and

0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.479
<v Speaker 1>take them by surprise at how emotional and sort of unsettling,

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.120
<v Speaker 1>or how it can be, or even how easy it

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:38.920
<v Speaker 1>how exciting it's been. Anyways, again, lots of that. So

0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:40.960
<v Speaker 1>we're going to be back with season four and a

0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:44.520
<v Speaker 1>whole new range of experts on Saturday, March eighth, and

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.079
<v Speaker 1>you can catch a new episode every Saturday. Just search

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.959
<v Speaker 1>for The Little Things on iHeartRadio or wherever you get

0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:56.679
<v Speaker 1>your podcasts.