WEBVTT - Back to Basics with Sam Frost

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<v Speaker 1>With the Heads Podcast Network.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Slow It Down.

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<v Speaker 1>I am your host, PJ Harding, and this podcast is

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<v Speaker 1>all around how we can find peace in the chaos.

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<v Speaker 1>Chaos is not going anywhere, I've learned that much. So

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<v Speaker 1>it's about finding ways that we can stay sane and

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<v Speaker 1>ground it in this wild world that we're living in.

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<v Speaker 1>And every week I've got a new guest who comes

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<v Speaker 1>on to share parts of their life and things that

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<v Speaker 1>help them when they're struggling. This week, I'm joined by

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<v Speaker 1>the gorgeous Sam Frost, who burst onto the scene in

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<v Speaker 1>Australia when she appeared on season two of The Bachelor

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<v Speaker 1>in twenty fourteen. There was quite the dramatic ending to

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<v Speaker 1>the season.

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<v Speaker 2>You can look that up on line.

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<v Speaker 1>But then Sam went on to start in the first

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<v Speaker 1>season of The Bachelorette Australia. She then went on to

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<v Speaker 1>do radio starring Home in a Way. She has become

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<v Speaker 1>a vocal mental health advocate and written her own book

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<v Speaker 1>called Believe by Sam Frost, and she this is the

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<v Speaker 1>coolest Thing. Most recently has gone around Australia and a

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<v Speaker 1>caravan with her partner and their one year old Ted

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<v Speaker 1>and they've filmed their travels, which we documented at a

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<v Speaker 1>new TV show, which I think is living the dream.

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<v Speaker 2>I really enjoyed.

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<v Speaker 1>Sitting down with Sam and having a chat and we

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<v Speaker 1>do cover a range of issues from cancel culture to

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<v Speaker 1>bringant see to the surprises of motherhood, and we talk

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<v Speaker 1>about her.

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<v Speaker 2>Own mental health struggles.

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<v Speaker 1>So a reminder if you're in ensis one seven three

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<v Speaker 1>seven is a free service for Kiwi's feeling down, anxious,

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<v Speaker 1>a bit overwhelmed, or if you just need to chat someone,

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<v Speaker 1>you can call or text anytime for free. Twenty four seven.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get into the chat. I am very excited for

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<v Speaker 1>our guest on the show today. Now I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to make this about me, but we actually have a

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<v Speaker 1>few things in common. I'm finding you have a gorgeous

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<v Speaker 1>young son called Teddy ted Titty.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, ted Teddy whatever, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you're expecting baby double two.

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<v Speaker 2>I am congratulations, thank.

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<v Speaker 3>You so much. I'm really excited. Yeah. So the little

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<v Speaker 3>ones due in March next year. So I'm past halfway. Marcus,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm statid, which.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you so? How many how many weeks?

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<v Speaker 4>You know?

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<v Speaker 3>You know what? I can't really like twenty twenty two

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<v Speaker 3>or twenty.

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<v Speaker 1>Three I'm twenty tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 4>You are.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Oh it's horrible, arendous?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I'm so sorry. How long did it

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<v Speaker 3>take me to get okay again?

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<v Speaker 1>It was probably maybe like probably zoo teen sixteen weeks,

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<v Speaker 1>But then still I've definitely been more nauseous this time around.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, it's so funny.

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<v Speaker 4>I was exactly the same, And I've got girlfriends that

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<v Speaker 4>are now having their second and saying the same thing,

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<v Speaker 4>like everyone's just feeling really nauseous and vomity.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it's because we just don't get

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<v Speaker 1>a break.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time round.

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<v Speaker 1>So the body's like, hey, then, like, can you look

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<v Speaker 1>after me?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just going to turn my back on you.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, it's wild.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like a couch potato, like literally stuck on

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<v Speaker 4>a couch for like two months.

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<v Speaker 3>It was awful.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and so what were you doing during that time?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you been, because obviously you've been filming this epic

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<v Speaker 1>caravan trip with your partner and your one year old

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<v Speaker 1>or two year old.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so he's, oh my gosh, I'm so bad. Like months,

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<v Speaker 4>he's like one and a half almost two.

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny when you like get beyond the months because

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<v Speaker 1>you like call them eleven months in twelve and thirteen.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you just lose track.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh I don't know, and I don't have the brain

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<v Speaker 4>capacity to do quick math and figure out what months

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<v Speaker 4>it is. And I'm like, I don't know, Like his

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<v Speaker 4>birthdays in March, you figure it out.

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<v Speaker 1>So how did it fall into place with everything you're

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<v Speaker 1>doing at the moment? Like what was life looking like

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<v Speaker 1>for you when you felt pregnant for the second time?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh? Do you know what?

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<v Speaker 4>It was so funny because we were actually caravanning.

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<v Speaker 3>He's a little caravan baby, this one, because the caravan through.

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<v Speaker 4>Western Australia, and it was the first time. Have you

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<v Speaker 4>got another little baby?

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<v Speaker 3>I do?

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<v Speaker 2>I do?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, yeah yeah, just just the one.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've got a two year old called Charlie.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Great, so you'll get it. So I was like, it

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<v Speaker 4>took me a really long time to start feeling like

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<v Speaker 4>myself again after my first and you know, because your

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<v Speaker 4>body is changing, you're tired, my son hates sleeping.

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<v Speaker 3>So it was actually the first time I was like

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<v Speaker 3>feeling good.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, my body was getting back, I was

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<v Speaker 4>vibing again.

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<v Speaker 3>I was having some cocktails and I.

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<v Speaker 4>Was like, this is great, like, hallo, Sam, I've missed

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<v Speaker 4>you so much anyway, and then.

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<v Speaker 3>We got a little bit too excited. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 3>two is on the way.

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<v Speaker 2>So I love it lot.

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<v Speaker 1>It's such a good feeling when you start kind of

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<v Speaker 1>remembering what it was like to feel kind of normal

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<v Speaker 1>once you come out of that postpartum haze.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, yeah it is.

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<v Speaker 4>And now that like we've gone like back to back,

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<v Speaker 4>I just I can't remember those two weeks of feeling

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<v Speaker 4>good and and I'm like, it's been a long time.

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<v Speaker 4>It's been years since I've felt like myself. I said

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<v Speaker 4>to my partner. I was like, no one misses me

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<v Speaker 4>more than me. Yeah, yes, because like I'm sure he

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<v Speaker 4>doesn't say anything, but I'm sure there's moments where he's like, oh, like,

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<v Speaker 4>well he actually does say. I guess all you do

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<v Speaker 4>is sleep like I'm died.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm really tired.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, It's yeah, it is a lot, Are you quite?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I don't know what it's been the last couple

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<v Speaker 2>of days. I've just been so angry.

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<v Speaker 1>It is stupid the stuff, And I'm like, I have

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<v Speaker 1>to keep telling myself, this is the hormones, it's not

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<v Speaker 1>you you're not that much of a badge.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 4>Sometimes I don't know anymore, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>Like it's all like merged into one. I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 4>can't blame my hormones anyone, I'm not sure, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>I've been foul, like just so grumpy. And we did

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<v Speaker 4>another trip in our caravan just recently, just going up

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<v Speaker 4>North Queensland and Australia, and I had to say to George.

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<v Speaker 3>I was just like, I'm so sorry. I was just

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<v Speaker 3>being a grumpy Yeah, Like I was so grumpy. I

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<v Speaker 3>was just like uncomfortable and.

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<v Speaker 1>You wake up from it and then you're like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't really remember what you were like yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, seriously, honestly, it's really crazy, but yeah I did.

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<v Speaker 4>Actually I had to apologize. I was like, I know,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm being a grumpy and I am anyway, and like

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<v Speaker 4>I'm my face is puffy and I'm tired.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah you still do you reckon? You're selling the sweet

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<v Speaker 1>spot like a nets you can try or are you

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<v Speaker 1>starting to get to the other end.

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<v Speaker 2>There's like that sweet spot in the middle, right you

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<v Speaker 2>know what.

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<v Speaker 4>I had that in the first and I'm still waiting

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<v Speaker 4>for the sweet spot. I'm like, is it coming? You know,

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<v Speaker 4>but I always have to I'm always like saying to myself.

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<v Speaker 4>I said, actually, a girlfriend of mine said to me,

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<v Speaker 4>because I'm always like, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm so grateful. Because I am so grateful, I'm not huge.

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<v Speaker 4>And my girlfriend said to me, you know, you don't

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<v Speaker 4>have to say grateful all the time. You can just

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<v Speaker 4>say you hate it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, that is really fucking hard.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay hard, but yeah, so anyway, it's yeah, it's a journey.

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<v Speaker 1>I loved hearing the very real fears that you had

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<v Speaker 1>going into motherhood for the first time. I think that's

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<v Speaker 1>so relatable. I remember writing down all of these things

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<v Speaker 1>that I just thought I was inadequately equipped, like all

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<v Speaker 1>of the reasons why I was inadequately Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>why can I not say that inadequately equipment to be

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<v Speaker 1>a mom? And I was like, oh my god, I

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<v Speaker 1>can barely look after myself, like I get anxious. Is

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<v Speaker 1>just going to exacerbate all of these emotions. Can you

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<v Speaker 1>talk through how you felt before and then what the

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<v Speaker 1>reality for you was like? And I know this isn't

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<v Speaker 1>for everyone, but I know so many people are scared

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<v Speaker 1>that they're just going to turn into the biggest monster ever,

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<v Speaker 1>which we you know, sometimes you do have those moments,

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<v Speaker 1>but oh yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Those moments. But yeah, I think the fears beforehand.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, I've had like years and years battling depression

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<v Speaker 4>and anxiety, and I.

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<v Speaker 3>Was really nervous that I was.

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<v Speaker 4>I was worried I was going to have personal depression

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<v Speaker 4>because I felt like it's in my family, and I

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<v Speaker 4>just wanted to make sure that I could be the

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<v Speaker 4>best mother. I didn't want to you know, I've had

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<v Speaker 4>to work through a lot of things. I've through psychologists

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<v Speaker 4>and all sorts of things for you basically since I

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<v Speaker 4>was a late teenager because of things that I've gone

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<v Speaker 4>through in my childhood, and I just wanted to make

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<v Speaker 4>sure that I wasn't going to project any of that

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<v Speaker 4>onto my children. I was worried that, you know, like,

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<v Speaker 4>is am I too broken to have a child?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know what I mean? So I think that

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<v Speaker 3>was a real fear for me.

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<v Speaker 4>And then I went to see a psychologist when I

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<v Speaker 4>found out I was pregnant, a new one because I'd

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<v Speaker 4>moved up the coast, and I found this really amazing

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<v Speaker 4>moment she was so fantastic, and I saw her regularly

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<v Speaker 4>from about a second try to after Ted was born,

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<v Speaker 4>and she was amazing at just alleviating fears and helping me.

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<v Speaker 3>With tools of what to do when I'm feeling low.

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<v Speaker 4>She's like, she goes, because when you have that baby,

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<v Speaker 4>then all of a sudden, all these hormones are happening,

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<v Speaker 4>and you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know, so like trying to trying to be.

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<v Speaker 4>The best mum already when you don't have these issues

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<v Speaker 4>is hard enough, let alone if you do have a

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<v Speaker 4>history with mental illness. So anyway, but she just reassured me,

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<v Speaker 4>and she was amazing. So I'm so glad that I

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<v Speaker 4>did that. And then the reality is I loved being

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<v Speaker 4>like I love being a mum, and I was like

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<v Speaker 4>as soon as Ted was born, I was just like

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<v Speaker 4>I was vibing it. I love newborn stage. And you know,

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<v Speaker 4>I knew that it was only temporary. You're tired, for sure,

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<v Speaker 4>but you've got this beautiful bundle that you just love

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<v Speaker 4>more than anything in this world. And you know, my

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<v Speaker 4>son is the most happiest secure. I know that he

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<v Speaker 4>feels safe, and I feel like I'm doing a pretty

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<v Speaker 4>good job. So yeah, I feel really grateful that I

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<v Speaker 4>had that help during my pregnancy, just that reassurance, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>I feel really confident with where.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm at the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so refreshing to hear and I've heard you speak

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<v Speaker 1>about this before about motherhood and such a positive light.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so nice to hear the beautiful reality of the amazing,

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<v Speaker 1>magical time it is as well. And it's almost like

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<v Speaker 1>mums have shame in that, you know, if they have

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<v Speaker 1>a positive experience, whether it's the birth or whether it's

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<v Speaker 1>the pregnancy, you just kind of want to keep it

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<v Speaker 1>quiet because you don't want to make others around you

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<v Speaker 1>feel shit.

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<v Speaker 2>About themselves, right, But it shouldn't have to be that.

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<v Speaker 1>Way, And if you have a good experience, I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's equally important to share it.

0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think so too, And I've thoroughly enjoyed being

0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.560
<v Speaker 4>a mum. Like I think that I feel like my

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 4>life is actually started now that I have a child,

0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.160
<v Speaker 4>and I think about what I was doing beforehand, and

0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.240
<v Speaker 4>I was like, what was I even doing?

0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 3>I just you know, just I felt like I was

0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.960
<v Speaker 3>just like floating around And that's just that's just my

0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:12.920
<v Speaker 3>personal experience, you know.

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 4>I have so many friends that aren't having children, that

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:16.319
<v Speaker 4>can't have children.

0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:18.440
<v Speaker 3>So this is just my personal experience and I'm just

0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:19.199
<v Speaker 3>sharing that.

0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.920
<v Speaker 4>And I know some people are completely different, but yeah,

0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.080
<v Speaker 4>I just really felt I just feel like I have

0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:29.000
<v Speaker 4>purpose now and it just is so.

0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:32.959
<v Speaker 3>Fulfilling to be a mother, you know. Yeah, And I

0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:33.760
<v Speaker 3>love it.

0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.080
<v Speaker 4>Like he's like he's like the funny funny and I

0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 4>get to hang out with like this really small, funny

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:40.600
<v Speaker 4>human all the time.

0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.560
<v Speaker 2>The more they talk, Oh my god, it's just so good.

0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:46.959
<v Speaker 3>I know, it's amazing.

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:51.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when you were seeing the psychologists and she sort

0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 1>of went through, you know, some tips and tracks and

0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:57.439
<v Speaker 1>techniques that you could use. Can you share some of

0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.679
<v Speaker 1>those things that do help you in those times when

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:01.920
<v Speaker 1>you feeling really low and you're feeling really lost.

0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, well, a lot of the things that she was

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.240
<v Speaker 4>talking to me about was because the main issue that

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:11.600
<v Speaker 4>I had during those during my pregnancy, the thing that

0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:13.800
<v Speaker 4>was weighing on me the most is I wanted to

0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.200
<v Speaker 4>make sure my child has a secure attachment to me

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.959
<v Speaker 4>because I have had a I can't remember what it's

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:21.440
<v Speaker 4>called now that I'm a.

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.000
<v Speaker 3>Would have probably come to me, I don't have a healthy.

0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:28.320
<v Speaker 1>One and secure attachment or I know the word, I

0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:29.880
<v Speaker 1>know what you made think, Yeah.

0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 2>I just can't think of it either.

0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah either. Anyway, our brain's art working. That doesn't matter,

0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:40.360
<v Speaker 3>you know brains. Yeah, so yeah, So anyway, that was

0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:40.959
<v Speaker 3>the biggest thing.

0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.160
<v Speaker 4>And she told me, she goes, do you know you

0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.320
<v Speaker 4>only have to get it right thirty percent of the

0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 4>time to have a secure attachment to your child. She's

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:51.280
<v Speaker 4>that's it, And she's like, and the biggest thing is

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 4>the repair stage of the cycle.

0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 3>So you know, you you might. She was, You're gonna have.

0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 4>Days where you raise your voice. You're gonna have days

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.400
<v Speaker 4>that you're not your best. You're gonna have days where

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.160
<v Speaker 4>you behave the way that you don't want to behave.

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.080
<v Speaker 3>And she's like, because you're tired, your.

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.760
<v Speaker 4>Hormonier, you've got a lot of things going on, you've

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.960
<v Speaker 4>got stresses everywhere. She goes, he's perfectly normal to break,

0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.280
<v Speaker 4>to not be your perfect self, to not be the

0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 4>best mum all the time. And she goes, and that's fine,

0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:22.600
<v Speaker 4>but it's how you recover from those moments that's.

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:23.880
<v Speaker 3>What creates a secure attachment.

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:29.520
<v Speaker 4>So saying apologizing to your child is what is so

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.840
<v Speaker 4>much more beneficial to the child than if you're this

0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:34.720
<v Speaker 4>perfect mum all the time, do you know what I mean?

0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.360
<v Speaker 4>So if you so I doled all the time, Like

0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.080
<v Speaker 4>you know, I was really tired, and I you know,

0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.600
<v Speaker 4>I you know.

0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 3>Raise my voice at ted because he was just screaming

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:44.880
<v Speaker 3>at me and I was trying it.

0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.960
<v Speaker 4>I was on this important call and I was like, mate,

0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:51.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm on the phone. And afterwards and like, I don't

0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.320
<v Speaker 4>like doing that. Obviously that's the girl.

0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 1>That's horrid, isn't it.

0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:55.720
<v Speaker 3>It's horrific.

0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.040
<v Speaker 4>And then afterwards, even though he's only one and a half,

0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm you're saying to him, I sat him down, I

0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:04.200
<v Speaker 4>gave him big cuddle, and I was just like, I'm

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.840
<v Speaker 4>really sorry, mate, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:08.840
<v Speaker 4>I was just stressed and I was on the phone

0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 4>and that's not okay, and I'm really sorry. And I

0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.120
<v Speaker 4>gave him a cuddle. Even though he doesn't understand what

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 4>that means. I'm sure he understands that I'm apologizing and

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.440
<v Speaker 4>giving him a hug and repairing that and not just

0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:24.480
<v Speaker 4>you know, the last thing you want to do is

0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:26.360
<v Speaker 4>then get off the phone and then yell at you

0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.560
<v Speaker 4>child and be like I was on the phone, like

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 4>that's not going to be helpful at all.

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 1>So it's it's owning your behavior because that first of all,

0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.400
<v Speaker 1>you just say that makes me feel so much better

0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 1>because no mother is perfect. I don't think any mother

0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.880
<v Speaker 1>is perfect, like at all of it that, but that

0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.840
<v Speaker 1>is something I consciously try and do is just own

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 1>up when I've stuffed up and saying that was mummy

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:52.080
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry, mummy's tired. She

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 1>didn't mean that. I love you so much, you know,

0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.320
<v Speaker 1>and then just give them that kind of affirming that

0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:00.920
<v Speaker 1>they are loved and it's not there and I don't

0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:01.880
<v Speaker 1>have that sense of blame.

0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.040
<v Speaker 4>Yes, absolutely, And she said to me, that's the most

0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:08.120
<v Speaker 4>important thing. That's that's far more important than anything else.

0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:11.240
<v Speaker 4>And yeah, She's like, you know, if you're if you're

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.000
<v Speaker 4>a good mon thirty percent of the time and you're

0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.280
<v Speaker 4>getting it right, then that's going to create a secure attachment.

0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 3>And I was just like, gee, that's not too bad.

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.400
<v Speaker 4>So when I talk to my friends and family about it,

0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 4>I was like, mate, thirty percent of the time, don't.

0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:24.120
<v Speaker 3>Be so hard on yourself.

0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:26.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's a good one.

0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:27.600
<v Speaker 2>It's a really good one.

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 1>What about like tools that you use too, I mean

0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.360
<v Speaker 1>not from the psychologist, but things that have worked for

0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:36.360
<v Speaker 1>you over the years.

0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:37.920
<v Speaker 2>When you are in a really.

0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:43.400
<v Speaker 1>Tough space mentally and you just need to break free

0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:45.560
<v Speaker 1>in a way, like you just you're in a rut

0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:47.000
<v Speaker 1>and you just want to reset.

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:47.720
<v Speaker 2>What do you do?

0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 1>Then?

0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:50.680
<v Speaker 3>The first thing I would do is get rid of

0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:51.320
<v Speaker 3>my phone.

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:56.040
<v Speaker 4>I think phones are so problematic in terms of when

0:16:56.080 --> 0:17:02.000
<v Speaker 4>you're in that spirally head headspace and you're like feeling

0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:06.119
<v Speaker 4>anxious and you're feeling down. I don't think it's I

0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:08.320
<v Speaker 4>don't I don't think social media is good for your

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 4>mental health at all. I think that turning your phone

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:17.800
<v Speaker 4>off and going outside and breathing and trying to ground yourself,

0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 4>like going for a walk, going for a drive, doing

0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:25.440
<v Speaker 4>something that sort of takes.

0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:26.480
<v Speaker 3>You out of your head.

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:30.359
<v Speaker 4>Because a lot of the time, you know, people recommend

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 4>going for walks when you're feeling really anxious, but sometimes

0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.600
<v Speaker 4>you don't have that energy because you're you know, depending

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.600
<v Speaker 4>on where you're at with your mental health, you know,

0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.160
<v Speaker 4>you might not have energy to go for a walk.

0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:43.400
<v Speaker 4>So I would say to people, leave your phone at home,

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 4>go for a drive and you know, either listen to

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:50.359
<v Speaker 4>nothing or listen to music. And I always find that

0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:51.320
<v Speaker 4>that helps.

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:55.639
<v Speaker 3>Me sort of like shift through my brain and ground me.

0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:59.080
<v Speaker 4>I think that's a really easy way. You know, when

0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm when I can feel like a panic attack coming on,

0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:06.120
<v Speaker 4>I'll lay on the ground. And fortunately I haven't had

0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.399
<v Speaker 4>this for a while, but I will lay on the

0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 4>ground and do breathing exercises and just count and breathe in.

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:14.440
<v Speaker 3>Deeply and breathe out.

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.160
<v Speaker 4>And all I'm doing is telling my body that I'm

0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:19.119
<v Speaker 4>actually safe and everything's okay.

0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.200
<v Speaker 3>And it's just helped to regulate your.

0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:26.919
<v Speaker 4>Body to calm itself and to realize you're actually safe

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:28.800
<v Speaker 4>instead of flicking into that flight.

0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:30.520
<v Speaker 3>Or flight mode.

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.640
<v Speaker 4>So there are two things that I find really easy

0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:36.640
<v Speaker 4>and things that you actually do because there's so many

0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.960
<v Speaker 4>tips out there, Like you look online and you're like.

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:40.119
<v Speaker 3>I'm not doing that.

0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm not doing that, like you know, especially when you're

0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:47.600
<v Speaker 4>in that teeth excuse me, Yeah, when you're in that

0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.000
<v Speaker 4>anxious headspace, you're not going to be I can't even

0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:54.840
<v Speaker 4>remember what they are anymore, but I remember reading them going, no.

0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:55.800
<v Speaker 3>One's doing that.

0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:58.679
<v Speaker 2>Just keep it well, keep it simple.

0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:00.679
<v Speaker 4>Lay on the ground and breathe, or go in the

0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 4>car and drive and do not take your phone.

0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.000
<v Speaker 3>That's what I think is really helpful.

0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 4>And getting out of nature of course, like you know,

0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:11.000
<v Speaker 4>going sitting outside, you know, and I just think, you know,

0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.159
<v Speaker 4>I think that's really beneficial for me.

0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:17.680
<v Speaker 1>When you were in your peak fame of reality TV

0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.920
<v Speaker 1>and then Home and Away and you know, you were

0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.280
<v Speaker 1>in the media a lot, did you do those things

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.560
<v Speaker 1>or do you reckon your head unhealthy habits because you didn't.

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:33.879
<v Speaker 4>Know, well, I definitely had unhealthy habits, you know that,

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:35.800
<v Speaker 4>like going on my phone and.

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:40.720
<v Speaker 3>And you know, certainly in my twenties, I used.

0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:43.200
<v Speaker 4>To you know, you would get anxious and you' if

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.719
<v Speaker 4>I was in a relationship, you know, you'd feel anxious

0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:48.600
<v Speaker 4>about something, and then you're banging out heaps of texts

0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 4>and you know, like you're like, put the fine down.

0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:55.280
<v Speaker 4>You were not going to solve anything in a text message.

0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.680
<v Speaker 4>That is what I would tell my younger self because.

0:19:57.880 --> 0:19:59.240
<v Speaker 3>Now in the amount of times you're.

0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:02.879
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what though, when you get those rage

0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:05.000
<v Speaker 1>ticks that need to come out, you actually just need

0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 1>them to come out, but they don't need to be sent.

0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:09.119
<v Speaker 1>They just need to be written in your notes and

0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:09.800
<v Speaker 1>then deleted.

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:14.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly, exactly, go for a walkout side and have

0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:14.800
<v Speaker 3>to think about it.

0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:19.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but yeah, you know, and like just obsessively checking

0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 4>social media like all those things. I think I definitely

0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:27.040
<v Speaker 4>did when I was younger, and it was more the.

0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 3>You know, the anxiety that comes with.

0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:37.480
<v Speaker 4>And I guess that's like being in a public as

0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:39.919
<v Speaker 4>being a public figure as well, is because people do

0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:43.600
<v Speaker 4>often write horrible things about you and comment horrible things.

0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:47.800
<v Speaker 3>So the fear was validated.

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:49.000
<v Speaker 4>You know, because I'm like, well, every time I do

0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:51.160
<v Speaker 4>check it, so one has something horrible.

0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:52.920
<v Speaker 2>So why do you do it to yourself?

0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:53.080
<v Speaker 4>Though?

0:20:53.080 --> 0:20:55.119
<v Speaker 2>Why do we do it to ourselves.

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:56.000
<v Speaker 3>Because we're dumb.

0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:57.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And so.

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:00.880
<v Speaker 3>That's that's why I just think.

0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:03.159
<v Speaker 4>And it's really funny because now I have such a

0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:05.480
<v Speaker 4>different relationship with social media. I have such a different

0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 4>relationship with that sort of with technology in my phone

0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:13.240
<v Speaker 4>and stuff, because I just, you know, it's so irrelevant

0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:17.719
<v Speaker 4>to my life, and yeah, looking back on how I

0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:19.199
<v Speaker 4>used to be, I'm just like, you know, if you

0:21:19.280 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 4>just turn your phone off or delete the app, it

0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.119
<v Speaker 4>just goes away, like it actually doesn't exist.

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 3>It's not here, it's not real.

0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:31.080
<v Speaker 4>What's real is your family, is your friends, is what's

0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:34.439
<v Speaker 4>in front of you. And the tiny computer that's in

0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:37.159
<v Speaker 4>your head actually isn't the real world. You know.

0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:41.880
<v Speaker 1>I am fascinated to know the true harm that it's

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:46.240
<v Speaker 1>actually doing to us, Like, oh, there is no good.

0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean there are some good things that come from it.

0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:52.880
<v Speaker 1>That there's so many harmful things that are coming from

0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:54.080
<v Speaker 1>that little device.

0:21:54.680 --> 0:21:56.720
<v Speaker 3>So many harmful things. It's wild.

0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:00.520
<v Speaker 4>And then you even think about how your algorithms designed.

0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:02.600
<v Speaker 3>It's designed to cause outrage.

0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:06.639
<v Speaker 4>It knows what your beliefs are, and it will deliberately

0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:09.720
<v Speaker 4>trigger things in you. It's deliberately triggering things in you so.

0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:10.760
<v Speaker 3>You stay on the app for longer.

0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:18.480
<v Speaker 4>So they're deliberately making something, designing something to inflict anxiety

0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:21.720
<v Speaker 4>on you, to make you obsessed, to make you addicted,

0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:23.200
<v Speaker 4>to bring.

0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:23.960
<v Speaker 3>Up all these emotions.

0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:27.720
<v Speaker 4>Because if you're outraged, I've read this study, if you're outraged,

0:22:27.960 --> 0:22:31.760
<v Speaker 4>you're more likely to stay on social media than if

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:32.880
<v Speaker 4>you're in a happy headspace.

0:22:33.520 --> 0:22:35.119
<v Speaker 1>So that's so stup.

0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:39.000
<v Speaker 4>So it is, and like you know, and it's so

0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 4>wild to me that and I see and because I'll

0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:46.000
<v Speaker 4>go on every now and again, and then I see people.

0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 3>Just buy it up, and you're like.

0:22:48.480 --> 0:22:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Go out, get off your phone. Life is actually beautiful

0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.280
<v Speaker 1>if you look right out aside. But you're right, we're

0:22:55.280 --> 0:23:00.400
<v Speaker 1>addicted to the next thing constantly, like jumping on having

0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:03.800
<v Speaker 1>an opinion, all right, next thing. Literally a day will

0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:05.480
<v Speaker 1>pass and there's a brand new thing that's like, but

0:23:05.480 --> 0:23:07.160
<v Speaker 1>I thought you kid so much about that. No, No,

0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:10.520
<v Speaker 1>there's a new thing to get expletly outraged and hateful

0:23:10.960 --> 0:23:12.520
<v Speaker 1>and nasty about.

0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:15.600
<v Speaker 2>It's I think, Yeah, I was.

0:23:15.920 --> 0:23:16.000
<v Speaker 3>So.

0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:21.880
<v Speaker 1>I was on here in Melbourne pre COVID, and it

0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:25.960
<v Speaker 1>was just it was really toxic. Not the people I

0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 1>was working with, but just we were going into a

0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:30.359
<v Speaker 1>really toxic time and then COVID happened, And I know

0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:34.240
<v Speaker 1>you went through a bloody tough time as you were

0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:37.440
<v Speaker 1>literally just trying to have an open, honest conversation on

0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:41.640
<v Speaker 1>your social media platform and then people went and on you,

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:43.760
<v Speaker 1>canceled you.

0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:45.720
<v Speaker 2>You were a victim of cancel culture.

0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Looking back, that must be pretty traumatic for you.

0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:52.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, it was.

0:23:52.680 --> 0:23:55.919
<v Speaker 4>It's hard to believe that it was even it even happened. Like,

0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:58.639
<v Speaker 4>I feel so removed from it now, you know, I

0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:03.800
<v Speaker 4>just feel so at the time I was really affected

0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:09.520
<v Speaker 4>by it, obviously, and but even now I still see

0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:12.600
<v Speaker 4>people trying to have conversations on there.

0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:15.480
<v Speaker 3>And there is only one way you're allowed to think

0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:16.159
<v Speaker 3>these days.

0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:19.360
<v Speaker 4>There's mainstream media tells you you have to think this way,

0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:22.760
<v Speaker 4>and if you don't think that way, then you're in

0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:26.679
<v Speaker 4>like everyone's entitled to pile up on you and have

0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:27.199
<v Speaker 4>a goal at you.

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:30.240
<v Speaker 2>And it's not it's not how a debate looks.

0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 1>It's not it's not healthy in any way for there

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:36.520
<v Speaker 1>just to always be one perspective on everything and you're

0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:39.399
<v Speaker 1>right just sort of go through issues. It does feel

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:42.800
<v Speaker 1>that way, and if you even just try, and you

0:24:42.880 --> 0:24:45.600
<v Speaker 1>try your beasts to kind of articulate, you just feel

0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 1>like you're getting wrong. So then people just don't even engage.

0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:50.760
<v Speaker 1>And I think people just kind of shut themselves out

0:24:50.800 --> 0:24:53.920
<v Speaker 1>because you're just so worried that you're going to get canceled.

0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:57.119
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I just think, you know, I just think it's

0:24:57.160 --> 0:24:59.760
<v Speaker 4>it's wild and I'll have the thing is like, what

0:24:59.800 --> 0:25:04.000
<v Speaker 4>am I best girlfriends? We have completely different points of

0:25:04.080 --> 0:25:06.760
<v Speaker 4>view of life, political opinions.

0:25:07.119 --> 0:25:09.920
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I'm not too political anyway, but I'm curious.

0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:11.240
<v Speaker 3>I find myself curious.

0:25:11.240 --> 0:25:14.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, like, even the whole Trump thing, right, I'm like,

0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:15.360
<v Speaker 4>why did everyone vote for him?

0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:17.520
<v Speaker 3>So I was like listening to some of.

0:25:17.480 --> 0:25:20.399
<v Speaker 4>His podcasts and I was like trying to understand and

0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.159
<v Speaker 4>it's and that's just my personality, Like I'm not the

0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:26.160
<v Speaker 4>type of person that goes you think like.

0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:29.080
<v Speaker 3>That you're a bad person. Yeah, I don't talk to me,

0:25:29.320 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 3>like tell me why you think that.

0:25:31.080 --> 0:25:33.359
<v Speaker 4>You know, I've got a friend that thinks it's fantastic

0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:35.880
<v Speaker 4>Trump got in And I was like, that's really I

0:25:35.920 --> 0:25:39.560
<v Speaker 4>find that really interesting because I don't know that opinion.

0:25:39.880 --> 0:25:41.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't have that point of view.

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:42.920
<v Speaker 1>But I'm not going to cancel you as a friend

0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:45.720
<v Speaker 1>because I think that because the reason that your opinion

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:47.960
<v Speaker 1>is like there is because of the experiences that you've

0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:51.480
<v Speaker 1>had that have shaped you through your life. And that

0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:53.679
<v Speaker 1>doesn't make you right or wrong for the way that

0:25:53.720 --> 0:25:56.199
<v Speaker 1>you see it. It's so frustrating, isn't it?

0:25:56.240 --> 0:25:58.320
<v Speaker 3>And isn't it interesting to have different points of view?

0:25:58.400 --> 0:25:59.760
<v Speaker 3>Is it interesting to have a different.

0:25:59.480 --> 0:26:03.520
<v Speaker 4>Conversation like I find And she raised some really valid

0:26:03.520 --> 0:26:06.199
<v Speaker 4>points and I was just like that's really interesting, and

0:26:06.840 --> 0:26:11.000
<v Speaker 4>I like having these conversations and I like immersing myself

0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:14.280
<v Speaker 4>with interesting people that have different beliefs because or else,

0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:17.040
<v Speaker 4>if you were just living in an echo chamber of

0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:19.359
<v Speaker 4>what you think, you're never going to open your mind up,

0:26:19.560 --> 0:26:22.520
<v Speaker 4>You're never going to see things differently, You're never gonna

0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:25.800
<v Speaker 4>learn or grow because you're just like, I'm right, my

0:26:25.840 --> 0:26:28.120
<v Speaker 4>opinion is right, this is right. And then that's how

0:26:28.160 --> 0:26:31.480
<v Speaker 4>you have this really toxic culture. And that's probably one

0:26:31.480 --> 0:26:35.600
<v Speaker 4>thing that I still think about that time in COVID,

0:26:35.680 --> 0:26:38.600
<v Speaker 4>And I just think because now even the conversations that

0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:41.040
<v Speaker 4>I was having back then are happening now, and I'm like,

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:41.920
<v Speaker 4>it's like.

0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:42.640
<v Speaker 3>Four years two late.

0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:45.600
<v Speaker 4>Guys like I'm trying to talk about this, and no

0:26:45.640 --> 0:26:48.080
<v Speaker 4>one wanted to have the conversation, and now people going

0:26:48.400 --> 0:26:52.480
<v Speaker 4>actually giving me something you were saying was like, you know,

0:26:52.720 --> 0:26:56.840
<v Speaker 4>maybe then everyone's mental health was really affected during that time.

0:26:57.080 --> 0:27:01.840
<v Speaker 4>O chay, that's interesting. You know, it's just it's just crazy.

0:27:01.880 --> 0:27:04.560
<v Speaker 4>So you just I just yeah, it was a really wild.

0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:06.639
<v Speaker 1>Was it a hard time to sort of wigde you

0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:10.520
<v Speaker 1>through your way through the industry after that, having all

0:27:10.520 --> 0:27:13.000
<v Speaker 1>these labels put on you called Eddie Vick's, I know

0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:15.240
<v Speaker 1>you're immunize you even got the jabs in the inns,

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:18.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, have you found it really hard to shake that?

0:27:19.840 --> 0:27:20.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:27:20.640 --> 0:27:25.240
<v Speaker 4>I don't I don't pay enough attention to it, to

0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:27.600
<v Speaker 4>be honest. I still work, like I still work, I

0:27:27.640 --> 0:27:32.080
<v Speaker 4>still do things. I just don't consume it anymore. And

0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 4>I just think, yeah, I mean, it's just not real.

0:27:36.760 --> 0:27:40.000
<v Speaker 4>And if and people love chucking a label on people

0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:46.200
<v Speaker 4>love like generals love writing hectic articles, heavily criticisized articles.

0:27:46.240 --> 0:27:47.640
<v Speaker 3>They love writing baby.

0:27:47.320 --> 0:27:50.159
<v Speaker 4>Headlines, and you're like, you guys have to live with

0:27:50.200 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 4>yourself doing that, like you know, and that's.

0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:56.280
<v Speaker 3>Actually not real. And the people who know me, all

0:27:56.320 --> 0:27:58.879
<v Speaker 3>my friends and my family know me so well, and

0:27:58.920 --> 0:28:00.679
<v Speaker 3>they know that that is not what I'm like.

0:28:01.040 --> 0:28:04.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm actually just a curious person that likes having conversations

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:08.200
<v Speaker 4>about difficult things and interesting things that you know.

0:28:09.119 --> 0:28:11.960
<v Speaker 3>Now, like four years later, I can say.

0:28:12.680 --> 0:28:15.240
<v Speaker 4>I can say that I feel really peaceful about everything

0:28:15.240 --> 0:28:17.640
<v Speaker 4>that happened, but at the time I wasn't at all obviously,

0:28:20.000 --> 0:28:22.000
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, I just think you don't actually know me.

0:28:22.040 --> 0:28:23.520
<v Speaker 4>And if you're going to check those labels on me,

0:28:23.640 --> 0:28:25.479
<v Speaker 4>go for it, because that's actually not true.

0:28:26.000 --> 0:28:28.960
<v Speaker 1>It must have been really interesting when you went into

0:28:29.000 --> 0:28:32.560
<v Speaker 1>the reality TV world and then like prior to that,

0:28:32.640 --> 0:28:36.040
<v Speaker 1>you'd never had that exposure and all of these people

0:28:36.040 --> 0:28:38.520
<v Speaker 1>in the public telling you what they think of you.

0:28:39.560 --> 0:28:42.160
<v Speaker 1>How hard was it to not believe everything that you

0:28:42.240 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 1>read at the beginning?

0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:47.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, I mean it was, well, it was interesting

0:28:49.560 --> 0:28:51.760
<v Speaker 3>because I even felt like that during that as well.

0:28:52.040 --> 0:28:54.320
<v Speaker 4>It was really it was one of the most shocking

0:28:54.520 --> 0:28:59.040
<v Speaker 4>things I think I've ever experienced, is real is and

0:28:59.120 --> 0:29:02.600
<v Speaker 4>because like my season of The Bachelor blew up into

0:29:02.720 --> 0:29:05.840
<v Speaker 4>this media frenzy.

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:07.560
<v Speaker 3>And so that was really bizarre to me.

0:29:07.600 --> 0:29:09.360
<v Speaker 4>And I remember just going to my sister's house and

0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:12.080
<v Speaker 4>just laying We're just being like, these people think that

0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:13.960
<v Speaker 4>they know me, but they don't. So it's been like

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:19.280
<v Speaker 4>a consistent feeling throughout my career. But yeah, it was

0:29:19.320 --> 0:29:23.680
<v Speaker 4>really shocking. I kind of feel like I was like,

0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:28.080
<v Speaker 4>it's a different person, Like I just like I see

0:29:28.120 --> 0:29:30.720
<v Speaker 4>the person that they think I am, and I'm like,

0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:34.200
<v Speaker 4>that's not who I am, And so you're forming opinions

0:29:34.280 --> 0:29:36.080
<v Speaker 4>on who you think is me.

0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:37.600
<v Speaker 3>And I found it hard if.

0:29:37.520 --> 0:29:41.320
<v Speaker 4>I would, like, you know, go out somewhere and people

0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:43.120
<v Speaker 4>think that they know who you are or they get

0:29:43.520 --> 0:29:47.480
<v Speaker 4>or One thing I always find is like, randomly, you know,

0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 4>friends or colleagues will say to me, oh I met

0:29:51.600 --> 0:29:54.520
<v Speaker 4>so Russell Crow and he's jerk. You know.

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:56.760
<v Speaker 3>I would just use that as an example. No one

0:29:56.840 --> 0:29:58.600
<v Speaker 3>has actually said that, but that's just an example, right,

0:29:58.600 --> 0:30:00.360
<v Speaker 3>And I'll be like, oh, do you actually know him?

0:30:00.400 --> 0:30:02.440
<v Speaker 4>Like he could have been having a bad day, he

0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:05.840
<v Speaker 4>could have been had a lot of personal stresses, he

0:30:05.880 --> 0:30:08.840
<v Speaker 4>could have been Like I hate when people will have

0:30:08.960 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 4>a brief encounter with someone and label them like something

0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:14.880
<v Speaker 4>you know, and I'm just like, you have no idea

0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:16.600
<v Speaker 4>what was going on in that person's life.

0:30:16.800 --> 0:30:18.239
<v Speaker 3>So I get really defensive of that.

0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:22.600
<v Speaker 4>So anytime someone trust to badmount someone in the public eye,

0:30:22.600 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 4>I'm always like, you don't actually know.

0:30:24.400 --> 0:30:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Them on you because someone is always fighting a better

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:31.240
<v Speaker 1>and you don't even know what's actually going on underneath.

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:35.960
<v Speaker 1>And like, yeah, someone will come and comment and they'll

0:30:35.960 --> 0:30:37.720
<v Speaker 1>give you their two cents and then they can just

0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 1>pass off, But that's lived with you. They don't realize

0:30:40.920 --> 0:30:42.560
<v Speaker 1>the impact that actually has on you.

0:30:43.160 --> 0:30:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's right.

0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:49.440
<v Speaker 2>So you meet your partner Jordie.

0:30:49.640 --> 0:30:53.760
<v Speaker 1>He seems like a real down to earth lad, Like

0:30:53.880 --> 0:30:55.120
<v Speaker 1>do you reckon that has.

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:59.600
<v Speaker 3>Kept you sane. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, Jordy's the best.

0:30:59.640 --> 0:31:03.280
<v Speaker 4>He's so down to earth, he's so funny, you know,

0:31:03.480 --> 0:31:08.400
<v Speaker 4>he has you know, he's just an amazing person. He

0:31:08.440 --> 0:31:12.480
<v Speaker 4>sees the world in an amazing way. And yeah, and we.

0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:13.480
<v Speaker 3>Have a really fun live together.

0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:16.920
<v Speaker 4>We travel around and he definitely keeps me saying I think,

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.200
<v Speaker 4>and my brothers keep me saying as well, like they

0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:21.800
<v Speaker 4>and my sister, Like, I've got really close relationships with

0:31:21.840 --> 0:31:25.240
<v Speaker 4>my siblings, and they always keep you grounded, like no

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:29.640
<v Speaker 4>matter what. So that's always an important thing. But I think, yeah,

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:32.920
<v Speaker 4>having your own family and having a partner that loves

0:31:32.960 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 4>you so fiercely and passionately, Yeah, it just makes you

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:39.280
<v Speaker 4>feel more secure.

0:31:39.320 --> 0:31:41.200
<v Speaker 3>It makes you feel grounded, and it makes you just

0:31:42.360 --> 0:31:42.560
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:31:42.640 --> 0:31:47.760
<v Speaker 4>So I'll go out to Sydney and go do some

0:31:47.800 --> 0:31:49.920
<v Speaker 4>busy work stuff and then I come home to my family,

0:31:50.040 --> 0:31:52.480
<v Speaker 4>come home to Jordan and Ted and my sister down

0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:53.840
<v Speaker 4>the road and my nieces, and you're.

0:31:53.720 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 3>Like, oh, this is so nice. This is exactly what

0:31:56.200 --> 0:31:56.680
<v Speaker 3>it's about.

0:31:56.720 --> 0:32:00.440
<v Speaker 4>You know, my niece's soccer games on Saturday, Like you know,

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:04.840
<v Speaker 4>that's that's what's important. So all this other stuff is fun.

0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.640
<v Speaker 4>I like being creative. I like I even like going

0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 4>to things. I like dressing up and seeing my makeup

0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:12.600
<v Speaker 4>artists and having fun having a champagne with her, and

0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:15.440
<v Speaker 4>you know, I like doing those things. But I also

0:32:16.000 --> 0:32:18.000
<v Speaker 4>am very happy to come home to my family.

0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:18.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:32:18.320 --> 0:32:20.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that's what happens when you have

0:32:20.560 --> 0:32:24.280
<v Speaker 1>a baby, because I find exactly the same thing. Nothing

0:32:24.680 --> 0:32:27.600
<v Speaker 1>hits like getting home after going to this because we

0:32:27.640 --> 0:32:30.600
<v Speaker 1>live roually here in New Zealand, and I might even

0:32:30.640 --> 0:32:32.040
<v Speaker 1>be just gone for a day or two and I

0:32:32.120 --> 0:32:34.360
<v Speaker 1>come back and I'm like, oh my god, I love

0:32:34.640 --> 0:32:37.240
<v Speaker 1>I love this and I never want to leave this

0:32:37.600 --> 0:32:40.680
<v Speaker 1>and the city's nice to visit, but just coming home

0:32:40.760 --> 0:32:43.400
<v Speaker 1>as just like a warm, big hug. And I don't

0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:45.560
<v Speaker 1>know if that's because my baby's there now and that

0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 1>like has it a massive impact on me, or I'm

0:32:49.040 --> 0:32:49.880
<v Speaker 1>just getting older.

0:32:50.280 --> 0:32:51.960
<v Speaker 2>But there's something so beautiful about that.

0:32:52.720 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 4>It is, isn't it. It's like your warm safe space. Yeah,

0:32:55.840 --> 0:32:57.960
<v Speaker 4>so I think that's nice. I think it's really good.

0:32:58.000 --> 0:33:01.120
<v Speaker 3>I think it's healthy to have that. And I think

0:33:01.120 --> 0:33:02.000
<v Speaker 3>you'll like to have.

0:33:01.880 --> 0:33:05.200
<v Speaker 4>A successful career and no matter what field you're in,

0:33:06.280 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 4>you know, you have to have a safe time to

0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:10.840
<v Speaker 4>come home too, or else I think you might get

0:33:10.840 --> 0:33:11.360
<v Speaker 4>a little bit.

0:33:11.240 --> 0:33:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Lost in it.

0:33:12.040 --> 0:33:15.320
<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling about maybe number two coming and

0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:19.840
<v Speaker 1>making work? Heaven and the balance and the juggle? Is

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:22.880
<v Speaker 1>that all kind of come on your mind where you're like,

0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:26.120
<v Speaker 1>I will just deal with it. Well, I get yeah.

0:33:25.800 --> 0:33:28.000
<v Speaker 3>It's funny. Well I actually feel sorry.

0:33:28.040 --> 0:33:29.800
<v Speaker 4>I feel a bit sorry for this baby because I

0:33:29.840 --> 0:33:32.200
<v Speaker 4>haven't Like with Ted. I was just like, here's the

0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:35.000
<v Speaker 4>signs bananana now, and this is what I'm like, I'm

0:33:35.040 --> 0:33:35.520
<v Speaker 4>too busy.

0:33:35.680 --> 0:33:38.120
<v Speaker 2>Like do you forget you're pregnant some days?

0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:38.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:40.560
<v Speaker 3>Same?

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:42.840
<v Speaker 4>You know it was even funny like my mother in

0:33:42.920 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 4>laws here and she poured a glass of wine.

0:33:45.160 --> 0:33:48.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like, yes, oh wait pregnant.

0:33:48.640 --> 0:33:52.760
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I just keep forgetting for it. And

0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:56.160
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh wait, I can't sorry about that. So yeah,

0:33:56.200 --> 0:34:00.480
<v Speaker 4>I sort of keep forgetting unpregnant. But in terms of yeah,

0:34:00.520 --> 0:34:03.520
<v Speaker 4>I mean, this one's an interesting one because I think

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:05.640
<v Speaker 4>when I had Ted, I knew that I wanted to

0:34:05.640 --> 0:34:08.160
<v Speaker 4>have a second one. So I sort of was like

0:34:09.080 --> 0:34:11.000
<v Speaker 4>dibbling a little bit of work, like doing a bit

0:34:11.040 --> 0:34:13.520
<v Speaker 4>of radio, doing a bit of like this and that,

0:34:14.360 --> 0:34:16.640
<v Speaker 4>and then and we traveled for it.

0:34:16.680 --> 0:34:19.640
<v Speaker 3>We've got to travel show here, so that was really fun.

0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:23.480
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, it's different with this second one because I

0:34:23.560 --> 0:34:25.239
<v Speaker 4>know that this is probably the last one I want

0:34:25.280 --> 0:34:28.520
<v Speaker 4>to have. And then so once we get him in

0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:31.960
<v Speaker 4>a nice comfy age, I'm really excited to get back

0:34:31.960 --> 0:34:36.600
<v Speaker 4>to work. Actually, I'm excited to be creative again and

0:34:36.600 --> 0:34:41.040
<v Speaker 4>actually use my brain. So I think, you know, as

0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 4>much as i'm I think I've learned a lot during

0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:47.759
<v Speaker 4>this period of time to be able to balance it

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:51.439
<v Speaker 4>properly hopefully anyway, to be able to go and do work,

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:53.319
<v Speaker 4>and then you know, my family can come with me.

0:34:53.400 --> 0:34:56.160
<v Speaker 4>We've got a pretty flexible lifestyle, and then we can

0:34:56.200 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 4>go and travel and then we can you know, do

0:34:58.320 --> 0:35:01.920
<v Speaker 4>other bits and pieces. But I think, yeah, I definitely,

0:35:01.960 --> 0:35:03.879
<v Speaker 4>I'm definitely looking forward to being creative again.

0:35:04.120 --> 0:35:05.760
<v Speaker 2>Do you reckon you'll get into acting again?

0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:08.960
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I mean, I hope so.

0:35:09.400 --> 0:35:12.640
<v Speaker 4>I love acting, but you know, the roles are so

0:35:13.480 --> 0:35:18.040
<v Speaker 4>far and few between, you know, even for my girlfriends

0:35:18.080 --> 0:35:22.360
<v Speaker 4>who are like auditioning constantly, going, going, going, going, Like

0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:25.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, it's a bit of a habster wheel sometimes.

0:35:25.239 --> 0:35:29.120
<v Speaker 4>So I like to be realistic. So I'm putting it

0:35:29.160 --> 0:35:32.200
<v Speaker 4>out to the universe that I'm ready and willing to work.

0:35:32.440 --> 0:35:35.560
<v Speaker 4>What that comes back to me with is I don't

0:35:35.840 --> 0:35:37.120
<v Speaker 4>I don't know what that's going to be, and I've

0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:38.200
<v Speaker 4>never known what that's going to be.

0:35:38.239 --> 0:35:39.400
<v Speaker 3>So I find that exciting.

0:35:39.880 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I love that toe like following what feels good following

0:35:43.040 --> 0:35:45.919
<v Speaker 1>you get into aition and it somehow just all works out.

0:35:46.400 --> 0:35:49.640
<v Speaker 1>You're literally living the dream though filming a TV shot

0:35:50.000 --> 0:35:53.440
<v Speaker 1>going round in a caravan like did you did you

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:56.439
<v Speaker 1>deliberately manifest that or did that just up?

0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:59.479
<v Speaker 3>It just happened, and this is what happens in life.

0:35:59.520 --> 0:36:02.880
<v Speaker 4>So we because Jordan and I love traveling and we

0:36:02.880 --> 0:36:05.400
<v Speaker 4>were doing this huge ship around Australia and I was

0:36:05.400 --> 0:36:08.200
<v Speaker 4>like posting that occasionally on social media and people were like, oh, man,

0:36:08.400 --> 0:36:12.120
<v Speaker 4>like you should film it, and we didn't have the

0:36:12.160 --> 0:36:14.719
<v Speaker 4>capacity to do that, so we just did a podcast.

0:36:15.480 --> 0:36:18.520
<v Speaker 4>And then a production company who I'd worked with previously

0:36:18.920 --> 0:36:20.800
<v Speaker 4>reached out to us and they're like, oh my gosh,

0:36:20.840 --> 0:36:23.000
<v Speaker 4>like the podcast, we love it, we want to turn

0:36:23.040 --> 0:36:26.319
<v Speaker 4>it into a Telly show. And we were just like, well,

0:36:26.560 --> 0:36:28.719
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I didn't even I didn't even envision that,

0:36:28.800 --> 0:36:31.200
<v Speaker 4>but it's the best thing ever. So we did season

0:36:31.239 --> 0:36:35.400
<v Speaker 4>one traveling around, and we just filmed it ourselves and

0:36:35.440 --> 0:36:37.880
<v Speaker 4>then they would come and do like little segments and

0:36:37.960 --> 0:36:38.760
<v Speaker 4>bits and pieces.

0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:40.920
<v Speaker 3>But they wanted it to be like a fly in

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:41.640
<v Speaker 3>the wall.

0:36:41.560 --> 0:36:48.320
<v Speaker 4>Type show where it's just us cruising around. I think

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:54.800
<v Speaker 4>you know, YouTube makes like that's that version of filming

0:36:55.080 --> 0:36:58.840
<v Speaker 4>has become quite popular anyway, So the production company is like,

0:36:58.880 --> 0:37:00.839
<v Speaker 4>we love it, and then we just and ship off

0:37:01.320 --> 0:37:03.799
<v Speaker 4>the footage Todam and they edit it together. And we're

0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:06.720
<v Speaker 4>about to go on another trip for season two actually,

0:37:07.239 --> 0:37:09.280
<v Speaker 4>and it's going to be a little bit different because

0:37:09.360 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 4>I'm pregnant and grumpy, so.

0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:16.600
<v Speaker 1>Hey know that they'll give the heightened dramatic you know,

0:37:17.520 --> 0:37:18.800
<v Speaker 1>says where you're the villain.

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:22.759
<v Speaker 4>Last time it was last time it was like Bushwise

0:37:22.840 --> 0:37:24.600
<v Speaker 4>and you know, and now.

0:37:24.440 --> 0:37:29.839
<v Speaker 3>It's just like this pregnant lady like anyway, but it'll

0:37:29.880 --> 0:37:30.480
<v Speaker 3>be really fun.

0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:32.799
<v Speaker 2>That is loving the dream. I love it.

0:37:32.840 --> 0:37:35.560
<v Speaker 1>And do you see that kind of got like how

0:37:35.560 --> 0:37:37.600
<v Speaker 1>comel would it be to go around the world and

0:37:37.640 --> 0:37:41.120
<v Speaker 1>do like a full on travel show with two babies

0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:41.520
<v Speaker 1>in total?

0:37:41.600 --> 0:37:42.080
<v Speaker 2>Imagine that.

0:37:44.040 --> 0:37:45.880
<v Speaker 4>Well, we always say that we're like, oh man, we

0:37:45.880 --> 0:37:48.239
<v Speaker 4>should go, like because we always we'll just be seeing

0:37:48.239 --> 0:37:49.960
<v Speaker 4>it home. We're like, we should go to Japan and

0:37:50.160 --> 0:37:52.000
<v Speaker 4>we could film the travel show in Japan.

0:37:52.120 --> 0:37:54.440
<v Speaker 3>And so we always dream about it.

0:37:54.600 --> 0:37:57.719
<v Speaker 4>Who knows what's going to happen, hey, but yeah, that

0:37:57.760 --> 0:38:00.200
<v Speaker 4>would be really fun. It would be quite chay to

0:38:00.239 --> 0:38:03.440
<v Speaker 4>be two children and yeah, that would be.

0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:04.960
<v Speaker 2>For They call it world schooling.

0:38:05.040 --> 0:38:06.680
<v Speaker 1>I know, I know someone with two kids at the

0:38:06.680 --> 0:38:08.400
<v Speaker 1>moment and they're going through Europe and they call it,

0:38:08.440 --> 0:38:10.799
<v Speaker 1>I think it's world schooling or something like that, and

0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.799
<v Speaker 1>it's like your classroom is around the world and then

0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:16.040
<v Speaker 1>you just go through different countries. It's pretty It would

0:38:16.080 --> 0:38:20.480
<v Speaker 1>be hectic and stressful, but like the memories you create

0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:21.760
<v Speaker 1>that would.

0:38:21.560 --> 0:38:24.319
<v Speaker 4>Be so cool, you know. And so they're teaching, like

0:38:24.480 --> 0:38:25.440
<v Speaker 4>educating their kids on the.

0:38:25.440 --> 0:38:26.120
<v Speaker 3>Road, is that what?

0:38:26.520 --> 0:38:28.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, I mean the kids are still like toddler,

0:38:29.120 --> 0:38:31.799
<v Speaker 1>like they're not at school yet, but but you know,

0:38:31.920 --> 0:38:34.560
<v Speaker 1>the world is their classroom in the sense that they

0:38:34.640 --> 0:38:37.319
<v Speaker 1>kind of learn culturally through all these different countries and

0:38:37.920 --> 0:38:40.439
<v Speaker 1>pretty evac pretty cool.

0:38:41.480 --> 0:38:42.319
<v Speaker 3>That's really fun.

0:38:42.719 --> 0:38:44.600
<v Speaker 4>But you even see like every time we do a trip,

0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:48.480
<v Speaker 4>Ted comes back and he's so like he loves being outside,

0:38:48.520 --> 0:38:49.400
<v Speaker 4>he loves people.

0:38:49.960 --> 0:38:52.239
<v Speaker 3>He's just a really curious cat.

0:38:53.239 --> 0:38:57.000
<v Speaker 4>So I think that it helps him massively because he just,

0:38:57.160 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 4>you know, and we'll go up to random kids and

0:38:58.560 --> 0:39:01.640
<v Speaker 4>start playing with them, and I think it's fantastic for him.

0:39:01.640 --> 0:39:03.160
<v Speaker 3>And he just like will get a stick and just

0:39:03.160 --> 0:39:04.440
<v Speaker 3>play with stick and just hit me.

0:39:04.920 --> 0:39:08.640
<v Speaker 4>Like like there's he loves like just walking past things

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:11.719
<v Speaker 4>and it's like tapping things, and like he just will

0:39:11.719 --> 0:39:12.879
<v Speaker 4>find entertainment with a rock.

0:39:14.120 --> 0:39:15.000
<v Speaker 2>That's perfect.

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:16.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:39:16.280 --> 0:39:19.600
<v Speaker 2>Do you think you can ever be a tiny home family?

0:39:20.040 --> 0:39:24.120
<v Speaker 1>Were you full time love that life?

0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:29.719
<v Speaker 4>Ah? Sometimes yes, I would say yes, and sometimes I

0:39:29.760 --> 0:39:30.359
<v Speaker 4>would say no.

0:39:30.480 --> 0:39:31.479
<v Speaker 3>It depends on my mood.

0:39:32.080 --> 0:39:35.160
<v Speaker 4>I just think sometimes I'm just like this caravan, it's

0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:39.239
<v Speaker 4>too small and I need some space. I also, I'm

0:39:39.320 --> 0:39:43.080
<v Speaker 4>quite an introverted person, so I do like my own

0:39:43.160 --> 0:39:47.320
<v Speaker 4>space and I recharge alone. So when I've got lots

0:39:47.360 --> 0:39:50.520
<v Speaker 4>of energies around me, I become very exhausted.

0:39:51.800 --> 0:39:54.600
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, I would be able to do it for.

0:39:54.680 --> 0:39:56.920
<v Speaker 4>A big stint of time, but then I would have

0:39:56.960 --> 0:39:57.600
<v Speaker 4>to go home.

0:39:58.160 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 1>And we did a caravan interrupt the other day and

0:40:00.320 --> 0:40:03.680
<v Speaker 1>I just like came to the conclusion that you have

0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:05.640
<v Speaker 1>to minimalize and get rid of all your shit.

0:40:05.840 --> 0:40:07.040
<v Speaker 2>I reckon, like if you're.

0:40:06.880 --> 0:40:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Going on a caravan, drop just keep it so fun

0:40:11.080 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 1>with your staff because it just clogs up the place

0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:14.800
<v Speaker 1>so quickly.

0:40:15.560 --> 0:40:18.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh mate, it really does. Did you enjoy it?

0:40:18.200 --> 0:40:19.759
<v Speaker 2>Loved it? Absolutely?

0:40:19.760 --> 0:40:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Loved it? And I found like we started getting our

0:40:21.440 --> 0:40:23.640
<v Speaker 1>grove just as we were about to leave, like you

0:40:23.719 --> 0:40:26.080
<v Speaker 1>sort of start getting into your own little routines and stuff.

0:40:26.120 --> 0:40:28.759
<v Speaker 1>But I regretted packing as much as I did. But

0:40:28.800 --> 0:40:31.120
<v Speaker 1>then I'm like, well, I Chalie kind of needed those clothes,

0:40:31.200 --> 0:40:34.920
<v Speaker 1>but it just feels like you just want to get

0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:37.279
<v Speaker 1>rid of all of your belongings, which I guess is

0:40:37.280 --> 0:40:39.920
<v Speaker 1>a good leason out of it, right, Yeah.

0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:42.680
<v Speaker 4>Oh absolutely, And even we found that we tweets like

0:40:43.000 --> 0:40:45.160
<v Speaker 4>we packed all these things to keep ten and entertained,

0:40:45.600 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 4>and he only.

0:40:47.080 --> 0:40:49.640
<v Speaker 3>Liked playing with like his bloss He's that much for him.

0:40:49.719 --> 0:40:51.920
<v Speaker 4>And then he's just outside, like I said before, we

0:40:52.000 --> 0:40:54.799
<v Speaker 4>sticks and rocks and just you know, playing, And I'm

0:40:54.840 --> 0:40:56.879
<v Speaker 4>just like, oh man, we really didn't need to pack

0:40:56.960 --> 0:40:59.640
<v Speaker 4>like a whole draw full of just sahit.

0:41:00.160 --> 0:41:01.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know what I mean.

0:41:01.520 --> 0:41:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a good lesson, it is.

0:41:04.120 --> 0:41:06.479
<v Speaker 3>And like kids will find entertainment no matter where they are.

0:41:07.440 --> 0:41:07.920
<v Speaker 2>Totally.

0:41:08.760 --> 0:41:08.920
<v Speaker 4>Now.

0:41:08.920 --> 0:41:11.680
<v Speaker 1>I always wrap up the podcast with advice that you

0:41:11.719 --> 0:41:13.960
<v Speaker 1>give to your younger self. I did he say that

0:41:14.160 --> 0:41:16.480
<v Speaker 1>you don't need to see in the text messages.

0:41:17.000 --> 0:41:17.920
<v Speaker 2>You need to see?

0:41:18.760 --> 0:41:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else that you'd add with a profound

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:23.840
<v Speaker 1>note to wrap up the podcast?

0:41:24.360 --> 0:41:27.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh, that's a good question. What would I tell my

0:41:27.080 --> 0:41:32.160
<v Speaker 3>younger self? I think I would tell like, I think

0:41:32.200 --> 0:41:32.800
<v Speaker 3>I would tell.

0:41:32.680 --> 0:41:36.080
<v Speaker 4>My younger self that you're going to be okay, Like

0:41:36.400 --> 0:41:39.600
<v Speaker 4>you are going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay,

0:41:39.640 --> 0:41:43.720
<v Speaker 4>because when you're younger, when you get hit with speed bumps,

0:41:44.080 --> 0:41:48.400
<v Speaker 4>they've really hit, you know, and even even all the

0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:50.279
<v Speaker 4>stuff that I went through at home and away during

0:41:50.320 --> 0:41:53.359
<v Speaker 4>COVID and all that stuff that really hit and at

0:41:53.400 --> 0:41:56.080
<v Speaker 4>the time I was just like, I don't know how

0:41:56.160 --> 0:41:58.560
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to get over this. And then you do

0:41:58.760 --> 0:42:01.080
<v Speaker 4>and you end up being okay and everything's okay.

0:42:01.320 --> 0:42:04.560
<v Speaker 3>You learn a valuable lesson and then you get a

0:42:04.600 --> 0:42:07.000
<v Speaker 3>little bit stronger, and then the Nuther speak comes. You know,

0:42:07.120 --> 0:42:10.600
<v Speaker 3>it's so like you're like, well, I guess you again,

0:42:10.800 --> 0:42:11.200
<v Speaker 3>But I.

0:42:11.160 --> 0:42:14.279
<v Speaker 4>Just think, you know, just that validating feeling of being

0:42:14.280 --> 0:42:17.160
<v Speaker 4>like You're going to be okay. Everything's working out and

0:42:17.200 --> 0:42:20.080
<v Speaker 4>this is all part of the whole journey. And even

0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:22.480
<v Speaker 4>though it doesn't make sense right now, I promise you

0:42:22.520 --> 0:42:23.680
<v Speaker 4>in the future it'll make sense.

0:42:24.080 --> 0:42:25.359
<v Speaker 2>I love it. Sam.

0:42:25.400 --> 0:42:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much rejoining me on Slow Dance. And

0:42:28.080 --> 0:42:29.759
<v Speaker 1>I was so lovely to probably meet you.

0:42:30.239 --> 0:42:31.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, thank you so much.

0:42:34.640 --> 0:42:36.719
<v Speaker 1>Well, that was my chat with Sam Frost. She was

0:42:36.880 --> 0:42:40.520
<v Speaker 1>so easy to talk to, such a lovely done earth

0:42:40.600 --> 0:42:43.719
<v Speaker 1>human and I just love the life that she's creating

0:42:44.400 --> 0:42:45.560
<v Speaker 1>with her partner.

0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:47.239
<v Speaker 2>And their baby. And they're just doing it.

0:42:47.239 --> 0:42:49.200
<v Speaker 1>They're just going out and doing it and creating the

0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:53.440
<v Speaker 1>dream life. I really enjoyed her take on motherhood and

0:42:53.520 --> 0:42:56.560
<v Speaker 1>her she really enjoyed it and her she felt so

0:42:56.680 --> 0:43:00.319
<v Speaker 1>inadequate in the build up that you know, she was

0:43:00.360 --> 0:43:01.719
<v Speaker 1>not going to be enough, she wasn't going to be

0:43:01.719 --> 0:43:04.880
<v Speaker 1>the secure attachment for her child. But she went and

0:43:04.920 --> 0:43:08.959
<v Speaker 1>she saw the psychologist and the things that she learned

0:43:09.000 --> 0:43:12.120
<v Speaker 1>as well as a parent. I just found that really

0:43:12.680 --> 0:43:15.879
<v Speaker 1>affirming to hear that only thirty percent of the time

0:43:16.000 --> 0:43:18.719
<v Speaker 1>you need to nail it and it comes down to

0:43:18.800 --> 0:43:22.439
<v Speaker 1>how you prepare the situation and you know, owning up

0:43:22.560 --> 0:43:26.160
<v Speaker 1>when new stuff up and saying sorry and not putting

0:43:26.160 --> 0:43:29.000
<v Speaker 1>the blame on the kid. So that made me feel

0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:32.799
<v Speaker 1>less of a failing mother, which was really nice. I

0:43:32.920 --> 0:43:36.359
<v Speaker 1>also just loved the simplicity of the phone and how

0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:40.120
<v Speaker 1>toxic it is. She's obviously learned that firsthand through being

0:43:40.160 --> 0:43:43.760
<v Speaker 1>on social media and rising to fame on reality TV

0:43:43.920 --> 0:43:49.160
<v Speaker 1>where everyone weighs in on you, and obviously there have

0:43:49.239 --> 0:43:50.719
<v Speaker 1>been some real challenges along.

0:43:50.440 --> 0:43:52.040
<v Speaker 2>The way, particularly through COVID.

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:54.239
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God, of course you'd want to three find

0:43:54.280 --> 0:43:58.719
<v Speaker 1>a way, but it seems like she's grown and she's

0:43:58.760 --> 0:44:01.120
<v Speaker 1>learned through that time, and she obviously has a really

0:44:01.120 --> 0:44:05.880
<v Speaker 1>strong network around her. That family unit has helped ground

0:44:05.920 --> 0:44:09.040
<v Speaker 1>her and made her realize, you know, what really matters,

0:44:09.239 --> 0:44:11.600
<v Speaker 1>and that half of the shite that we see on

0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:14.200
<v Speaker 1>the eternet is not real. Sometimes you just need to

0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:17.840
<v Speaker 1>get outside, take a deep breath, and walk away.

0:44:17.600 --> 0:44:18.120
<v Speaker 2>From it all.

0:44:18.719 --> 0:44:20.000
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to know what you got out of this

0:44:20.000 --> 0:44:23.240
<v Speaker 1>week's episode. It was a delight to chat to Sam.

0:44:23.320 --> 0:44:25.600
<v Speaker 1>I've got another episode coming out next week, but if

0:44:25.600 --> 0:44:27.759
<v Speaker 1>you've got any suggestions on who you think would be

0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:30.040
<v Speaker 1>great to talk to, you can always hit me up

0:44:30.120 --> 0:44:33.239
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram at Pja DJ and I'll see you back

0:44:33.280 --> 0:44:34.719
<v Speaker 1>next week for another episode.