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Speaker 1: With the John and Ben Podcast. Cheers to Dilma making

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Speaker 1: the world a bitter tea. Hello, well yeah there is right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, you look you look very recent. You

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Speaker 2: look very wristed in a wonderful little hotel room there,

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Speaker 2: I am.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I've been been enjoying myself. I've been watching the

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Speaker 3: dirty movies on the.

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Speaker 4: Do you still watch dirty movies and hotel rooms? You

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Speaker 4: know there's the internet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think there are anymore.

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Speaker 2: Ben's got a wonderful story with the spaghetti Wistern.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, someone was, yeah, we're away from well, I

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Speaker 5: don't know why I'm telling you that's away from work.

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Speaker 6: I was.

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Speaker 5: It was my company and the guys like, hey, I

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Speaker 5: watched the movie last night. It's kind of come up

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Speaker 5: with my charge and like, oh what movies. You won't

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Speaker 5: know it. It's a spaghetti wistern. I don't know if

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Speaker 5: that was code for anything or if it was an

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Speaker 5: actual spaghtty wistern. I didn't ask any questions.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like we're very.

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Speaker 6: Excited you come in to New Zealand US weekend.

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Speaker 5: You're going to be here in Australia now, I noticed

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Speaker 5: from your social media yeah, people on stage there were

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Speaker 5: you were kissing one of them, So there was all

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Speaker 5: sorts going on.

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Speaker 3: It was It's been really fun actually, because there's the

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Speaker 3: show is sort of well planned out, but there is

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Speaker 3: plenty of chance to sort of be loose and to

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Speaker 3: be playful as well. So and obviously with any comedy

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Speaker 3: really that the best parts are often the spontaneous parts,

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Speaker 3: aren't They the things that are not planned, the bits

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Speaker 3: that the audience wouldn't have seen last night and are

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Speaker 3: not going to see the next night.

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Speaker 1: And so, yes, I was in Newcastle. I know that's

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Speaker 1: where I am now.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, my new Yeah, no, I'm in Newcast

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Speaker 3: but I was somewhere else. And where's all the churches?

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Speaker 3: Where's Adelaide?

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Speaker 2: I was sounds like your touriner is quite spontaneous too.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I just wake up.

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Speaker 3: I was in Adelaide and and yeah, it was just

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Speaker 3: it was just the kind of one of the best

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Speaker 3: shows we've ever done.

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Speaker 1: It was so much fun, and the audience is such

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Speaker 1: a big part of it.

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Speaker 3: And they it was Saturday night, they'd had a few

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Speaker 3: drinks and so they were kind of keen on getting involved,

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Speaker 3: which is which I encourage.

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Speaker 2: Which is must be frightening for you going opening the

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Speaker 2: floor to questions from the audience.

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Speaker 3: Especially when you don't know what city you're in. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but that's that's the fun of it is, and I

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Speaker 3: kind of think you've got to. I think people like

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Speaker 3: to see you thinking on your feet and they like

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Speaker 3: that something is happening in the room that's totally improvised,

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Speaker 3: and it really sort of sharpens you up because it

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Speaker 3: means you can't because I tell stories in the show,

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Speaker 3: like funny stories and jokes and stuff that I know

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Speaker 3: that I've done the night before. But what makes it

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Speaker 3: exciting for me as well is not just telling those stories,

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Speaker 3: but obviously you know, having to kind of come up

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Speaker 3: with something in the moment. But that's something I learned

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Speaker 3: doing Britain's Got Talent, is that you know, it was

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Speaker 3: all about reacting and all about being in the moment,

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Speaker 3: and then you know, you try and contrive a joke

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Speaker 3: and it would never be as good as the one

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Speaker 3: that just came out in the moment, you know, as

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Speaker 3: a reaction to what's happening.

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Speaker 5: Because you've got these shows there earlier in the day,

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Speaker 5: which I gets a bit more catered around the Boox the.

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Speaker 3: Kids, and yeah, family shows in the day for people

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Speaker 3: who like my books, and then shows in the evening.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not that adult, but I wouldn't take

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Speaker 1: your eight year old.

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Speaker 3: If they're a teenager and they'd seen Little Britain and stuff,

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Speaker 3: I think it'd be fine. But but yeah, the book

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Speaker 3: shows really fun.

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Speaker 1: It's just me on stage and.

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Speaker 3: They can be really funny too, because I go out

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Speaker 3: to the audience and I ask, because I write written

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Speaker 3: these books, Worl's Worst Children, And I say, I've come

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Speaker 3: to do some research.

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Speaker 1: You know, have you got brother or sister who's one

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Speaker 1: of the world's worst children?

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Speaker 3: And then later on I asked them if there's a

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Speaker 3: if they have a parent, a mum or dad, they'd

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Speaker 3: like to be in the World's Worst Parents. And they

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Speaker 3: go bonkers for that. Stories often quite rude stories, because

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Speaker 3: one kid in Adelaide was like, what does your mom

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Speaker 3: do that you know makes her one of the world's

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Speaker 3: worst parents.

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Speaker 1: She's always dropping the if bomb if bomb bomb?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we uncover a lot of family truths.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's been it's been.

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Speaker 3: A riot and and so New Zealand. Yeah, I'm coming

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Speaker 3: to Auckland to christ church, one more, one more? Where

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Speaker 3: have you got it? That's the wit.

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Speaker 1: How do you navigate between doing the comedy for you know,

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Speaker 1: like a PG.

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Speaker 2: Audience and then moving into something a little bit more

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Speaker 2: adult related?

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Speaker 4: How do you go from one to the other.

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Speaker 3: Well, I kind of I feel like it's the same me,

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Speaker 3: but it's just it's just slightly it's just slightly different.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: I'm not I feel with the kids, you know, as

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Speaker 3: a children's author, I don't patronize them, you know, like

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Speaker 3: I don't go.

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Speaker 1: Hallo kiddies time.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's still me and I'm still an archic,

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Speaker 3: and obviously I just know not to drop the F bomb.

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Speaker 6: I'm very excited.

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Speaker 5: I think we're all going at various stages over the weekend.

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Speaker 5: Do you want do you want any questions? Like preprepared

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Speaker 5: questions kind of a little bit North.

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Speaker 3: Korea, Like the best questions are the ones that's rude.

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Speaker 3: I had this great this woman came up. She was

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Speaker 3: like in her early twenties or something like that, and

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Speaker 3: she said, she said, yeah, my mum was meant to

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Speaker 3: come tonight, but she couldn't make it, so she gave

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Speaker 3: the tickets to me. And I'm just twenty two, So

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Speaker 3: I just want to ask.

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Speaker 1: Who are you right? Question? Yeah, and there was there

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Speaker 1: was a boy got up in Sydney and he was like,

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Speaker 1: I've read all forty three of your books. When you're

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Speaker 1: going to write a.

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Speaker 3: Good one, these are the ones that get the best laughs.

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Speaker 1: Are the ones that you know that put me down?

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Speaker 1: So please some rude questions listeners.

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Speaker 6: Do you think about your career?

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Speaker 5: Because I was reading yesterday you started, you know, Beck,

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Speaker 5: I think at Edinburgh and things like that, performing to

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Speaker 5: just a handful of people, and now you're selling out

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Speaker 5: in New Zealand and Australia and you've done amazing comedy

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Speaker 5: shows and books.

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Speaker 6: Do you think about that journey that you've been on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Always, I think you've always got to feel very grateful because, yeah,

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Speaker 3: me and Matt's first ever gig together was to three people.

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Speaker 4: Who are those people?

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Speaker 6: That's as big as this gig right now? It's three must.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was you three.

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Speaker 4: Day one?

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Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, just three. But then that's how it all starts.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's you know, no one gets to start their career,

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Speaker 3: you know, on a on a pedestal, did they really?

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Speaker 3: I mean you you you start a humble way and

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Speaker 3: it's good because it keeps you grounded and makes you grateful.

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Speaker 1: That you've had your success.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's just really important, isn't it not

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Speaker 3: to take it for granted, because once you start taking

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Speaker 3: it for granted, you might stop, you know, working so

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Speaker 3: hard and trying to deliver in the way that you do.

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Speaker 3: You know, but you know what, it was fun. We

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Speaker 3: were performing in room room above pubs, and it was

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Speaker 3: really fun. And I guess if we could still you know,

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Speaker 3: live our lives and you know, and still perform even

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Speaker 3: to people in the room pub still be fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, if you're performing the room people in the

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Speaker 3: room bob pub.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's still a massive thrill.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I get a thrill even just like you know,

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Speaker 3: I get asked to go around to visit schools and

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Speaker 3: things and and you know, I come out and there's

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Speaker 3: you know, just a couple of hundred kids in the

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Speaker 3: school hall and that's a lot of fun. And I

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Speaker 3: asked them, you know, if any of the teachers should

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Speaker 3: be in the World's Worst Teachers.

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Speaker 1: But you know, that's still a massive buzz.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't kind of think, you know, I'll

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Speaker 3: it's a small audience. You know, I can't get excited.

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Speaker 3: I get excited every time. I mean, it's a it's

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Speaker 3: a real privilege to be able to go out and

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Speaker 3: entertain people. And uh, you know, And I always used

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Speaker 3: to think when I was on Britain's Got Talent, when

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Speaker 3: I'd be getting a bit bored and wrestless because it

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Speaker 3: would be just such a long day. I just always

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Speaker 3: remind myself when I was a lifeguard at the local

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Speaker 3: swimming pool and what I used to get paid an

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Speaker 3: hour to be there. And then I think about what

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Speaker 3: I got paid.

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Speaker 1: Now, And okay, David, stop complaining.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you didn't even crown an hour and you

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Speaker 4: don't even have to mouth to mouth anyone.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 6: There was the lady of the audience. You were quite

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Speaker 6: hot and until.

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Speaker 3: I'm very big with the older lady.

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Speaker 2: Did David Williams actually have to save anyone from drowning

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Speaker 2: and your years as a lifeguard?

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Speaker 3: I didn't and I was desperate too to push children

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Speaker 3: in the pool. Very sadly that didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 5: Actually, speaking of things you've done over your over your lifetime,

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Speaker 5: did you used to go the same gym as Prince

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Speaker 5: Harry was that true.

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Speaker 3: Correct until he moved to America, which is very selfish

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Speaker 3: of him. We used to, yeah, we used to sit

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Speaker 3: in the steam room together and did you it's a

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Speaker 3: very well built young man.

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Speaker 1: I must say. He's great, really.

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Speaker 3: Fun, really friendly, real laugh you know, and it's no

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Speaker 3: I know, I know it's silly, you know, but there's

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Speaker 3: not like you know, you had to call him Prince

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Speaker 3: Harry or something, you know that what.

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Speaker 4: Did you call him when you're sitting there in a towel?

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Speaker 3: I called him big boy because it was like it's

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Speaker 3: you know, I think he was. He's the most down

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Speaker 3: to earth and the most normal of the lot of them.

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Speaker 3: So and good luck to him, you know, I've always

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Speaker 3: liked him.

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Speaker 1: Was always great.

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Speaker 2: If he if he like, forgot a swipe car, would

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Speaker 2: you be able to swipe him into the gym?

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Speaker 4: Or was there like a five hundred dollar fine for that?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Was nowipe.

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Speaker 6: Fancy gym?

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Speaker 4: You're not a snip foot.

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Speaker 3: But he was very popular there because it's just a

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Speaker 3: laugh and just always fun, always full of energy, and

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Speaker 3: you know, I don't know, just it was no like,

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Speaker 3: oh my goodness, it's Prince Harry. You know he has

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Speaker 3: to be kept away from everyone else. He just you know,

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Speaker 3: everyone loved him.

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Speaker 5: Now coming up with you love about him?

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Speaker 1: You're not quoting Prince Harry.

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Speaker 4: Fine, he'll sell tickets to his own show.

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Speaker 6: We're Excited and New Zealand this weeking.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, Like the few scripts that we've written,

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Speaker 5: it's always had to come up with names, names of

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Speaker 5: people on the spot. Is the same when you're writing books.

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Speaker 5: You've written so many books over the years.

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Speaker 3: Well, I suppose I do use the saurra so you know,

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Speaker 3: say you have a character who's cruel, you might want

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Speaker 3: to like look up I always sort of look up

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Speaker 3: words that sort of are connected to that word, so

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Speaker 3: you know, if you have a cruel I don't know,

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Speaker 3: teacher or something you might call a misspite or something

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Speaker 3: like that. You know, and it's the sounds often I think,

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Speaker 3: I think to you, who's amazing names is JK Rowling?

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Speaker 1: If you think of like snap, is it great? Isn't it?

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Speaker 1: They're all great names?

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Speaker 3: Actually, ron They all seem you know, like they will

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Speaker 3: fit the character, don't they.

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Speaker 6: Where would would johnno being and Megan? Where would be be?

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Speaker 6: What sort of characters would be be? In a book

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Speaker 6: for you pretty boring names.

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Speaker 3: To be honest, you have an accounting agency in the spot.

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Speaker 6: Isn't it as as you want to go?

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Speaker 2: On?

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Speaker 1: God, the three children who never grew up? That Rod,

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Speaker 1: Jane and Freddy.

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Speaker 4: How long does it take you to write a book?

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Speaker 2: And is it like a constant cloud hanging over you

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Speaker 2: like you're in the middle of writing books now I've been.

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Speaker 3: I've been writing one as we've been speaking. Actually it

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Speaker 3: takes a few it takes a few months. But you know, again,

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Speaker 3: I just keep reminding myself. Although you know, sometimes it

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Speaker 3: feels like hard work because you're stressed and you're working

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Speaker 3: late into the night or whatever, and you know, you

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Speaker 3: get frustrated and all that. But you know, I just

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Speaker 3: keep my mindself. Yes, it's not actual real hard work,

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Speaker 3: you know, something that I really love doing and can

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Speaker 3: do anywhere, and I can, you know, when I'm traveling,

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Speaker 3: sit in the hotel, rooms, at the plane, sit on

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Speaker 3: the train, and do it.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: So I just again, I just feel very lucky. But

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Speaker 3: I do love it. I really love it. And it's daunting,

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Speaker 3: you know, always starting with us sort of as it

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Speaker 3: were a blank piece of paper or a blank you know,

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Speaker 3: computer screen, it is daunting, but at the same time,

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Speaker 3: by the time you sort of filled it and.

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Speaker 1: Created a story, it's really exciting.

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Speaker 3: So actually I always can't wait to get onto the

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Speaker 3: next one. So you know, again, I just feel very lucky.

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Speaker 3: I get to do what I liked to in life.

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Speaker 6: Oh, we're very excited about you. Here the final question.

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Speaker 5: I went to look on an article last Night's from

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Speaker 5: the Age and then see David Williams has advice for

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Speaker 5: Adele and I had to pay for to subscribe and

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Speaker 5: I didn't do that.

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Speaker 6: So what what's your advice? Fordell?

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Speaker 1: This story is what happens.

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Speaker 3: You say one thing and then it gets reporting all

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Speaker 3: these different sites. Well, basically, Adele used to both be

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Speaker 3: my neighbor, so I'd see her a lot, and she

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Speaker 3: came around. She she came around with her for dinner

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Speaker 3: and she brought an oscar. It's really really nice. And anyway,

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Speaker 3: and I was talking to her because it was like

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Speaker 3: a long time between the second and the third album,

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Speaker 3: and so I said, I said, you know, is it difficult,

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Speaker 3: you know, just come up a song and it's like yeah,

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Speaker 3: because you know, you've had these grassive hits and now

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Speaker 3: you're sort of competing. You're not competing with by other people,

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Speaker 3: You're not competing with yourself. And she was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I suppose it is, because I guess if you've written

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Speaker 3: a song like someone like you, you're starting to write another

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Speaker 3: song and then you think, oh, it's not as good

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Speaker 3: as someone like that, and just coming in your head,

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Speaker 3: even though she may be better or different whatever, And

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Speaker 3: so anyway, she took that advice and now look.

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Speaker 6: You hello exactly.

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Speaker 1: Thanks, I help all the big I've got a note

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Speaker 1: for everybody.

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Speaker 2: Pilburgh, Prince Harry in the sauna, you got them all.

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Speaker 1: I've got something to say to you.

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Speaker 6: Oh we love catching up with you.

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Speaker 5: Ord on it Harry, David Williams in New Zealand this

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Speaker 5: week Friday, Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, Auckland, Wellington and christ We

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Speaker 5: can't wait to see you in New Zealand. I'll be

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Speaker 5: Friday night. I think John going on Saturday. So yeah,

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Speaker 5: I can't wait to see it.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait with you come backstage and catch me

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Speaker 3: in my underpants when I'm getting dressed.

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Speaker 6: I love to I don't know if I'll be allowed to.

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Speaker 6: What do I say is.

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Speaker 4: Maybe that's the spirits question, Can I come.

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Speaker 6: Expeciation to see you in your underpants?

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Speaker 3: Yes, that would be a great question. Because I'm such

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Speaker 3: a terrible show off, I'll probably strip off on stage.

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Speaker 6: Great, I'd love to see you in your underpants and

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Speaker 6: love to see your day.

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Speaker 1: He promised me. You're going to ask that question.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, okay, but okay, right, it sounds great.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, can I come back backstage and see

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Speaker 1: see you in your.

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Speaker 2: And I'll ask it at the children's show.

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Speaker 3: Asking the children's one your dark and disturbed mind.

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Speaker 6: All right, we'll see you Friday night and Friday guy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah,