Speaker 1: it's sonia. Welcome to another episode of Men explain. And
Speaker 1: today we're talking about proposals not mine
Speaker 1: and I want to welcome our special guest who recently
Speaker 1: got engaged. It's nick and Hong ling. Hello?
Speaker 1: Hi sonya, what's going on guys? Congratulations. First of all,
Speaker 1: I did manage to congratulate you. How has it been
Speaker 1: so far like as an engaged couple? Any difference?
Speaker 2: Um
Speaker 1: actually for me there's not much, no difference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: only during that period, the moment happened. Some something weird.
Speaker 2: I can't explain it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1: It's not the language, it's just a feeling,
Speaker 2: I just, I just
Speaker 1: think it's a bit overwhelmed, right?
Speaker 2: Maybe social
Speaker 1: media news and everybody on graduated, so it's too much
Speaker 1: thing going on
Speaker 2: back to normal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, back to business. So leading up to that moment.
Speaker 1: I mean it was a very beautiful proposal.
Speaker 1: Did you already know that you're going to get proposed to? No, actually, no,
Speaker 1: because I think the timeline got brought forward. Yes, because
Speaker 1: we plan, we plan to have a wedding like maybe
Speaker 1: two years to three years. Yeah,
Speaker 2: discussion about
Speaker 1: 2020 2030 plus I'm still very busy
Speaker 1: or is it
Speaker 2: true of is a no, I think quite
Speaker 1: quite okay. What was the reason for that nick? You
Speaker 1: want to lock it down? Is it like what's going on?
Speaker 1: Because
Speaker 2: I wanted it to be a surprise for her. Okay.
Speaker 2: If I do it around the timing, maybe she will
Speaker 2: have the
Speaker 1: suspicion or
Speaker 1: maybe yeah, but you coincided it with her birthday. So
Speaker 1: you thought that it was a birthday celebration. Yes. And
Speaker 1: for every year he's quite romantic on my on my birthday.
Speaker 1: So I didn't really think much of it. Oh, this
Speaker 1: is just another very romantic birthday
Speaker 1: generation. Yes, and this time with my friends and family,
Speaker 1: so it's quite a big one. Okay, so in that moment,
Speaker 1: what were, what was your reaction were you like, what
Speaker 1: the heck? No, I just, I just I was very,
Speaker 1: very touched, a lot of emotions. I was very happy,
Speaker 1: very touched and I don't know what's going on, but
Speaker 1: I'm very happy that
Speaker 1: my family is here and it was many years in
Speaker 1: the making. I mean you guys have been going out
Speaker 1: for a long time
Speaker 2: For around seven years,
Speaker 1: seven years. So nick, when did you know that she
Speaker 1: was it
Speaker 2: She was the one. Yeah, I think somewhere along the
Speaker 2: 5th of this,
Speaker 1: six long for six years before six dates. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Really, man, You know, she was
Speaker 2: quite confirmed like after when
Speaker 1: the first
Speaker 2: few months or something
Speaker 1: like the very first day I saw you.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the moment, you
Speaker 2: know,
Speaker 1: I wish I knew who was the one, the moment
Speaker 1: I see them. I think
Speaker 2: she's more like emotional kind of person and everything goes
Speaker 2: through her heart. She goes for the like feeling kind
Speaker 2: of person for me, it's more logical
Speaker 1: anyway. On that note in this day and age where
Speaker 1: we talk
Speaker 1: proposals and stuff like that, right? I think it has
Speaker 1: changed a little bit along the years and you know,
Speaker 1: I think different generation as well. Um it's not just
Speaker 1: the traditional way of proposing anymore. You know, I think
Speaker 1: some girls even proposed to their partners. What do you
Speaker 1: think about that? Like would you have done something like
Speaker 1: that or maybe personality wise? Not so much.
Speaker 1: I would like to but I wouldn't encourage. Yeah. Would
Speaker 2: you do it?
Speaker 1: I tried. Yeah, I do jeremy. I'm not I mean
Speaker 1: like the one with the ring pop, you know, like,
Speaker 1: don't worry, this is not like an announcement. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: he was like this okay, can we just talked
Speaker 2: about? But
Speaker 1: I don't know. In reality, I wouldn't mind. I think
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind. I just wonder how that makes the
Speaker 1: guy feel.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: conscious of that as well. Like does that make you
Speaker 1: feel weird
Speaker 2: kind of because it's like norm for man to propose.
Speaker 2: So when a girl takes the initiative, it kind of
Speaker 2: feels weird. It's more like how people would think about us. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think it's more than that. Like will people think
Speaker 2: like I do not love her more? Like is it
Speaker 2: like she's rushing off. She's trying to put some pressure
Speaker 2: on me. So I'm more worried on like what the
Speaker 1: perception. Okay. And how about you
Speaker 1: for me actually I worried most about the people's perception
Speaker 1: as well. Um I'm not sure actually did I did
Speaker 1: I proposed to you first way because like we both
Speaker 1: see the seriousness and the love for each other way
Speaker 1: before the proposal. So we actually talked about our future
Speaker 1: and we actually plan about our marriage way before. So
Speaker 1: I'm not, I think I'm the,
Speaker 1: I'm the first one to initiate, initiate this topic. So
Speaker 1: is it considered like I propose the idea? I
Speaker 2: think it's more like casual talks about our future can
Speaker 2: through these small talks, we can like, align with our vision,
Speaker 2: like what we want in life. And she always like,
Speaker 2: tell me like she don't want a proposal. Oh,
Speaker 1: really? So I'm serious about it. What did you want then?
Speaker 1: In that case?
Speaker 1: I think the proposal is not as important as the
Speaker 1: eventual marriage, the wedding ceremony for
Speaker 2: the wedding. I think you don't
Speaker 1: want a simple,
Speaker 2: she wanted something simple maybe like if proposal would be
Speaker 2: a stressful event for us. She can skip it even
Speaker 2: for the banquet. Just something intimate. Just the both of us.
Speaker 2: I think she's contented with it. She,
Speaker 2: that's what she had been telling me. But I still
Speaker 2: feel like the proposal is
Speaker 1: so he's the one that I wanted to do it.
Speaker 2: Like, and
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: wanted to like properly okay approval and her family's approval
Speaker 2: and also show her my sincerity
Speaker 1: and it makes for a beautiful video and beautiful memories
Speaker 1: as well
Speaker 1: as we all saw something that I can tell my
Speaker 1: Children or grandchildren your like proposed. She's I feel like
Speaker 1: channel drama right now. Like, so, so you were, you
Speaker 1: were mentioning that all your family members were there as well.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious nick can be invisible right now. They
Speaker 1: immediately approve of nick.
Speaker 1: Oh they did approve nick like way before the proposal
Speaker 1: as well. They love him and they mentioned it to
Speaker 1: me that it is a very good guy and I'm
Speaker 1: very lucky to have him. So if I didn't like
Speaker 1: catch him because like they feel that
Speaker 1: and this like little princess that have temple. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you do have any siblings? I never asked. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: So it's not like an only child thing where they're
Speaker 1: very protective. Yeah. And stuff
Speaker 2: when I decided to do a proposal, the first thing
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 2: did was to go to her parents and ask for
Speaker 2: your permission. So during then she was overseas. So I
Speaker 2: texted her father about it. So I said, uncle, can
Speaker 2: I come to your house? I got something to talk
Speaker 2: to you then. Like
Speaker 1: knows. Of course he knows what's up.
Speaker 1: He's
Speaker 2: in shock. He thought like something happened. Like is it
Speaker 2: something overseas or something?
Speaker 1: I see.
Speaker 2: Then he called me and I said, oh nothing, just
Speaker 2: want to discuss something with you.
Speaker 1: And he's like, what do we
Speaker 2: know sort of, he guessed it like later on. So
Speaker 2: when I told him about it actually, her mom said
Speaker 2: something very touching. I like you can
Speaker 1: say in mandarin, I understand. I
Speaker 2: said like, um
Speaker 2: then she replied something like
Speaker 1: already accepted
Speaker 2: during that particular moment. I can't
Speaker 1: control,
Speaker 1: you need to cry during acting. Do you tap back
Speaker 1: into that emotion? You can't do anything.
Speaker 2: But that moment was quite touching.
Speaker 1: He's tearing up right now you guys. Is it the
Speaker 1: reflection of the light, glassy nous in his eyes or something?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it seems to be bringing some
Speaker 1: tears as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That that in that moment you knew that everything was
Speaker 1: falling into place, you know,
Speaker 2: I think they have been waiting for quite some time.
Speaker 2: So
Speaker 1: yeah. Okay. Have you ever tried to hint to you guys?
Speaker 2: Yeah, when, when we talk about it normally because we
Speaker 2: have a business ourselves. Right? So like when
Speaker 2: her dad and her mom was talking about it, they
Speaker 2: will say like, so they really
Speaker 1: classified. So it's already like settled in a sense, they
Speaker 1: know that you will get there eventually. Right?
Speaker 1: Okay. So now let's talk about the ring and I
Speaker 1: want to chat about this because in 20, alone, so
Speaker 1: many of our, I would say people in our generation
Speaker 1: age group, you know, got engaged or started to get
Speaker 1: very serious with their partners and started talking about marriage
Speaker 1: and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: And we all know that, you know the concept of
Speaker 1: the engagement ring itself has also changed over time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure whether you agree, but for a lot
Speaker 1: of my friends at least it doesn't really matter whether
Speaker 1: it's a diamond or not, it can be other things.
Speaker 1: It could be a gemstone, it could be, it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be something. So, you know, traditional, some people
Speaker 1: even give each other watches or something, you know, like
Speaker 1: a luxury watch as a proposal
Speaker 1: to you. I mean, okay, maybe I'll start with nick
Speaker 1: first when you decided to get her the ring. What
Speaker 1: was going through your mind when you decided on this
Speaker 1: particular
Speaker 2: 1? Um for me, it's still like more,
Speaker 2: something like a custom. So like people, I mean men
Speaker 2: do propose with a diamond ring. So I still go
Speaker 2: along with it. I wouldn't try something like very daring.
Speaker 2: Like some other gemstones or something. So I think if
Speaker 2: they wanted to try something different, I think maybe it's
Speaker 2: more on
Speaker 2: the lady side
Speaker 1: or the preference,
Speaker 2: what if I got her? Sophia or something, but she
Speaker 1: has no idea what it means unless it means something
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I see for you only like, did it
Speaker 1: ever mattered to you? I really love the ring. Um
Speaker 1: it's very simple because I love something simple, classic. So
Speaker 1: it's very simple. She's a great hand model at this point.
Speaker 1: She's like,
Speaker 1: yeah, so you, you liked it the moment you received it.
Speaker 1: Actually when I, when I saw the video, like the
Speaker 1: second time I notice I didn't, I didn't even take
Speaker 1: a look at the ring. I just like, okay, put
Speaker 1: it on. Okay, so anything,
Speaker 1: it could be
Speaker 2: anything.
Speaker 1: I mean, of course, that is the traditional way of
Speaker 1: thinking as well, right? With the diamond, all that and
Speaker 1: for homely, I mean, you seem like you're easily contented
Speaker 1: because obviously it's not true. You you're not you're not
Speaker 1: expecting like a
Speaker 1: five carat. So what if he proposes something else, would
Speaker 1: you still be okay with it? You have been alright
Speaker 1: with it? Yeah, I think I'll be okay because I
Speaker 1: didn't want a proposal. Yeah, so you have already have
Speaker 1: a proposal is like a bonus. And I really appreciate
Speaker 1: his effort and
Speaker 1: that moment I really felt loved and cherished by him.
Speaker 1: It was so sweet you guys.
Speaker 1: But okay, so now that you mentioned the proposal and everything.
Speaker 1: That was very sweet and something that you remember. But
Speaker 1: the bulk of the work is going to come in
Speaker 1: next time during the marriage, right? How do you guys
Speaker 1: start talking about marriage? I want only one dress, Only
Speaker 1: one dress. Okay,
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 1: think it's an occupational hazard because you dress up a
Speaker 1: lot and you doll up a lot for work
Speaker 1: and stuff. Right. And then when it comes to your
Speaker 1: actual wedding, you're like, okay, I just wanna,
Speaker 2: I just wanna chill,
Speaker 1: changing,
Speaker 2: changing like yeah,
Speaker 1: Take a lot of time if like, we have like
Speaker 1: 2-3 outfits and at first he wanted like three and
Speaker 1: I just want one. I want you to think like
Speaker 2: wedding, I want some memories,
Speaker 1: I think is the bride.
Speaker 1: I feel like the roles are reversed here. Nick is
Speaker 1: totally being the bridezilla right now.
Speaker 2: But in the end she just wanted one because
Speaker 1: I insisted
Speaker 2: more time with friends and family.
Speaker 1: She wanted, she wanted
Speaker 2: to be there like sitting down having
Speaker 1: pictures and then like coming in the smoke machine and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Right?
Speaker 2: Then it would be quite weird, like quite weird right
Speaker 2: for me to be changing myself and coming in
Speaker 1: myself. Like where is nick?
Speaker 1: He's wearing his third tax of the day.
Speaker 2: I think I'll be only wearing one as well.
Speaker 1: So you decided? Yes, I like that. I think we're
Speaker 1: seeing sort of like, or at least I'm seeing a
Speaker 1: different side of because I never knew that you were
Speaker 1: so easy going about all this stuff because sometimes you
Speaker 1: would think, okay Brights definitely want things a certain way.
Speaker 1: Like at least that's the traditional way of thinking right?
Speaker 1: Like the bride is always the one that is the
Speaker 1: Bridezilla always like
Speaker 1: wanting this and that. So that's really nice to see.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't aware of that as well. That was
Speaker 1: very sweet. So then long term, let's talk long term.
Speaker 1: How did you guys talk about the important things about marriage.
Speaker 1: Did you agree on everything like kids finances, house, all
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff?
Speaker 2: I think we take quite awhile to actually talk it
Speaker 2: through the first few times. I think there's some arguments
Speaker 2: but later on we, because I have heard an advice
Speaker 2: on marriage is that even as a boyfriend and girlfriend,
Speaker 2: you guys can't talk about something when you get married,
Speaker 2: it will only get harder. So we try to like
Speaker 2: communicate and also understand just communication
Speaker 2: itself. I don't think it works. So we have to
Speaker 2: understand like where each other is coming from. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So what were some things that you immediately agreed on
Speaker 1: or disagreed on? For example, housing and kids? Oh,
Speaker 2: kids is still a debate
Speaker 1: now. Still an ongoing conversation. One third we knew we wanted,
Speaker 1: but like we are still very young and we are
Speaker 1: very worried that maybe
Speaker 1: we'll
Speaker 2: get tied down to the kids. We have
Speaker 1: to become your life. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but at the back of our mind, we still want
Speaker 2: to have kids. We wanted a family eventually. Yeah. But
Speaker 2: the question now is when maybe when we drag too long,
Speaker 2: maybe we
Speaker 1: Can have, but you guys are quite close in age so,
Speaker 1: so it should be okay. I hope right, like five
Speaker 2: years
Speaker 1: close. Yeah, that's quite close.
Speaker 1: So actually we, we are now like okay, we go
Speaker 1: with the flow. We doesn't want to plan if it
Speaker 1: happens to happen. Yes. Okay. Sometimes
Speaker 2: we see something like, yes, we're going to have kids
Speaker 2: then like the next moment? No, that's, that's not the
Speaker 2: life that you want? It's
Speaker 1: still changing. What did you see or witness that?
Speaker 1: I'm curious. What did you see a witness that made
Speaker 1: you think? No, I don't want kids. Was there anything
Speaker 1: when
Speaker 2: we go enjoy at a beach club? Some parents like
Speaker 2: taking care of their kids
Speaker 1: were very
Speaker 2: like enjoying taking a sip of Yeah, we're like, we're
Speaker 1: like, we're not, we're
Speaker 2: not having this
Speaker 1: when we see like the kids look exactly like
Speaker 1: their parents like wanted to have kids like that. So that,
Speaker 1: that aside, what about like finances housing these kind of conversations?
Speaker 1: Do you find it challenging? Because I know some couples
Speaker 1: who get into conversations like that and then end up
Speaker 1: fighting or you know, one doesn't want to reveal too
Speaker 1: much about the finances and stuff like that. What was
Speaker 1: the dynamic
Speaker 1: between the two of you? I think for financial wise,
Speaker 1: we are, we are quite okay. You're open about talking
Speaker 1: about it. I think it's because, um, he would save
Speaker 1: up on his own, but he will buy me stuff
Speaker 1: that I need, right? So for my side will be
Speaker 1: the same because actually I don't spend a lot, but
Speaker 1: if he needs something, I will spend on him. So
Speaker 1: it's like
Speaker 1: a
Speaker 2: mutual thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a mutual thing
Speaker 2: and we are quite open about it. She even knew
Speaker 2: my bank cuts pin.
Speaker 1: Oh really? How early on did she know your three
Speaker 2: to four years ago while we are in our third
Speaker 2: year or
Speaker 1: what made you guys decide to do that? I think
Speaker 1: this is a cross over to a previous episode that
Speaker 1: we did a while back
Speaker 1: about financial intimacy. But anyway, we'll ask since we have
Speaker 1: a real life example. So so what made you give
Speaker 1: that kind of responsibility or
Speaker 2: just feel very secure in our relationship? So I don't
Speaker 2: mind her knowing like how much saving savings I have
Speaker 2: or what I spent on. So I think it's the
Speaker 2: same for her as
Speaker 1: well. We don't have like a particular timing that okay,
Speaker 1: I need to let him know my people, but there's
Speaker 1: no
Speaker 1: it's very um
Speaker 2: just
Speaker 1: natural, organic. Yeah. So it's like maybe he's like pressing
Speaker 1: the p and then I just saw it.
Speaker 2: I can just tell you the pin sometimes I would
Speaker 2: even pass her my card to withdraw some money.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, that's normal. I guess trust for
Speaker 2: housing part, I think
Speaker 2: she had more opinions on it. It's quite easy.
Speaker 1: Some of these thoughts and opinions
Speaker 2: may be the locations like what type of house is
Speaker 2: she would want for me. It's quite okay. I don't
Speaker 2: really have any preference on it. As long as the
Speaker 2: interior looks good and comfortable for me. Yeah. So on
Speaker 2: this side I think we are
Speaker 1: quite flexible like sort of compromise in that sense. And
Speaker 1: for housing I'm
Speaker 1: I think I want a room for myself. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: one thing. Is there a reason why is there something
Speaker 1: we need to know? Work is work, your schedules and stuff,
Speaker 1: It's very different. And our work starts as early as
Speaker 1: like seven years, we have to get up at six.
Speaker 1: So if
Speaker 2: we stay together in the room and disturb each other,
Speaker 1: sleep in what way? I'm just asking?
Speaker 1: It's like the alarm clock? Oh, okay. I didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: You disturb each other still in the same room. That
Speaker 1: sounded very, you know, like implied something. Anyway, so, so
Speaker 1: you want your own room? Okay, let's get back to that.
Speaker 1: You want your own room. But of course you will
Speaker 1: still make the effort to spend the time together, Right?
Speaker 1: It's more of a practical work standpoint.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So when you actually get married, are there plans
Speaker 1: to like slow down on your career and stuff like
Speaker 1: that or? No. I always wanted to slow down like
Speaker 1: you Really? Okay. Actually, I thought I'm a career woman,
Speaker 1: but as I age and as she ages. Okay, as
Speaker 1: she ages, she says, And I feel that
Speaker 1: actually work is not as important as the life life experiences.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to slow down. I wanted to like, um,
Speaker 1: what's that called? Be mindful. Be mindful of
Speaker 2: what
Speaker 1: surrounds me. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we get so caught up in everything
Speaker 1: that we do, we're always so busy and then sometimes
Speaker 1: you see people's like social media like they are packed
Speaker 1: every minute of the day. How do they do it?
Speaker 1: You know that kind of thing? And then you think
Speaker 1: also like, are you really enjoying your free time or
Speaker 1: the fruits of your labor in that sense? Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but career wise nick. How about you? Like, do you
Speaker 1: also feel
Speaker 2: um I want
Speaker 1: to focus on your business or what, what are some things?
Speaker 2: I think it's more like a passion to me and
Speaker 2: if I can achieve financial freedom, I think I would
Speaker 2: slow down as well. But I think it's more on balancing.
Speaker 2: So if I can achieve financial freedom then maybe I'll
Speaker 2: cut less on my work. But
Speaker 2: I think in today's context it would be quite hard
Speaker 2: to la so I will still carry on even after
Speaker 2: our marriage
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm sure it seems like you guys
Speaker 1: are already at a very stable point. I don't think
Speaker 1: much is gonna change after you actually sign the papers
Speaker 1: and get married right. Were there anything any sort of
Speaker 1: like points of contention where you were like, you don't
Speaker 1: agree with each other? Were there any moments where you
Speaker 1: disagree with each other?
Speaker 1: Noah,
Speaker 1: I don't think, I think, I think we resolve the problems,
Speaker 1: so I can't really remember. So you solve it immediately.
Speaker 1: That's how you solve your No, actually we sometimes we
Speaker 1: talk like quite a few times before we solve the problem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we will sort it out like we won't like
Speaker 2: avoid,
Speaker 1: it's like, what do we disagree on everything?
Speaker 2: I think it's something very small and
Speaker 1: very small. Like, who doesn't want to like invite you?
Speaker 1: We don't want to invite your wedding. Yeah, Okay, that's it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You say like, oh, we need to invite this person
Speaker 1: and I don't like this person,
Speaker 1: something like that. That is hilarious. That's the only thing
Speaker 1: that you disagreed on recently. Yeah. Recently. Fantastic. Fantastic. Okay,
Speaker 1: so now that you are getting closer, I guess to
Speaker 1: planning your wedding and stuff, looking back at, you know,
Speaker 1: the proposal moment um and having that moment, like with
Speaker 1: your friends and family, did your friends have anything to
Speaker 1: say or to comment on the proposal? I
Speaker 2: think the whole
Speaker 2: the event was like, quite intimately. So they told me like,
Speaker 2: they are quite touched, like, to see the whole the
Speaker 1: whole process,
Speaker 2: Most
Speaker 1: of your friends engaged or about
Speaker 2: to get married. Most of my friends are
Speaker 1: okay. I think I'm the first few. Yeah. So in
Speaker 1: that sense, do you feel pressure because a lot of
Speaker 1: your friends were getting married
Speaker 1: that you also felt like maybe I should step up
Speaker 1: into that phase of life?
Speaker 2: Yeah, initially I did. But later on, I feel like
Speaker 2: everyone has their own pace of life. So just go
Speaker 2: according to it. Don't have to be stressed over like
Speaker 2: other people's lives or something. So later on was quite
Speaker 2: okay for me was quite comfortable
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm not sure if you guys agree
Speaker 1: with me on this, but I had some friends who,
Speaker 1: you know when all their friends start getting engaged, they
Speaker 1: start to panic and it started to be like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I feel the pressure I should be
Speaker 1: getting married at this age, I should be having kids
Speaker 1: at this age. You've never felt that way holding no,
Speaker 1: because I'm always felt that
Speaker 1: I'm still very young and have my career and I
Speaker 1: know what I want, it's not a rush for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean some people just have like a calling in
Speaker 1: that sense, right, they just want to settle down and
Speaker 1: have kids in that way. But your friends are not
Speaker 1: planning or for my friends, Maybe not because
Speaker 1: yes, like the same age as me, most singaporean women,
Speaker 1: they are very independent. So now in this day and age, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I don't think they are in a rush. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so in all in all in good time, I would
Speaker 1: say
Speaker 1: any advice that you would like to share when it
Speaker 1: comes to planning a proposal? I think this question could
Speaker 1: be more
Speaker 2: specifically to make,
Speaker 1: how long did you take? Two plan the proposal?
Speaker 2: The whole thing took like three months but away before
Speaker 2: I already had this
Speaker 2: sort of vision like how I want to do it.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to create something special to both of
Speaker 2: us because normally we love to when we travel overseas
Speaker 2: we love to hike to see sunsets and also love
Speaker 2: like water activities, diving and snorkeling and everything. So I
Speaker 2: thought like I have to do it during sunset sunset.
Speaker 2: So that's how I
Speaker 2: got the first thing down then I slowly plan about it.
Speaker 1: And you were praying that there was a good sunset
Speaker 1: that
Speaker 2: actually it rained that day. Oh right before luckily
Speaker 1: actually after it rains I hear that the sunsets are
Speaker 1: really nice. Was it? Yeah it was a nice day.
Speaker 2: So my advice is no matter how much you plan
Speaker 2: that there is screw ups for sure but I think
Speaker 2: with the screw ups it make
Speaker 2: it makes everything more memorable when we talk about it. Right.
Speaker 2: Right
Speaker 1: okay so three months of planning and keeping that secret
Speaker 2: from.
Speaker 2: Yeah when it comes to like people right I'm very
Speaker 2: worried like someone accidentally say it out right? But luckily
Speaker 2: they all kept their mouth shut out.
Speaker 1: How many people knew about it in total aside from
Speaker 1: her parents.
Speaker 2: 30 over
Speaker 1: all of them. I mean they all knew such head
Speaker 1: in advance. Oh my niece doesn't know. Oh
Speaker 2: yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah my niece, it's like she's six years old. So
Speaker 1: I think
Speaker 2: for being like a bit more
Speaker 1: she always like
Speaker 2: say all the surprises so only she was carrying that
Speaker 2: owe
Speaker 1: me. So she thought that you guys were going on
Speaker 1: like a birthday boat trip or something. Okay. Okay. That's
Speaker 1: so cute though. She's going to look back at this
Speaker 1: video and be like, I wasn't a blabber mouth
Speaker 1: what you guys are talking about. Okay, but for, for
Speaker 1: Hong ling, I'm guessing that you're going to say no
Speaker 1: amount of preparation would have prepared you for that moment. Right? Actually,
Speaker 1: I have not like prepared anything for this. I thought
Speaker 1: like we are just having fun. Yeah, but luckily I
Speaker 1: did my hair because I,
Speaker 1: I just like put on a dress like with simple
Speaker 1: hand makeup. I wanted that. But he told bony to
Speaker 1: meet me there. Okay. Um our hair salon. So actually
Speaker 1: I went
Speaker 1: and luckily we took like nice pictures together. Yeah. How
Speaker 1: about your nails? I think my nails as well. But coincidentally,
Speaker 1: actually I always like did my nails for filming, so
Speaker 1: it's always neat and clear. Okay, but not now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but in the moment. And so after experiencing all this,
Speaker 1: do you feel that the whole concept of a proposal
Speaker 1: has been overrated all these years, Is it still the
Speaker 1: same now? Like you know, is it very important to
Speaker 1: have that romantic proposal or something very small and simple
Speaker 1: will do? Actually, I don't think it's very important if
Speaker 1: two persons are very in love.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And actually I know that for many singaporeans, one of
Speaker 1: the proposal options are the B. T. O. So actually
Speaker 1: I don't I don't feel it. Not romantic. And actually
Speaker 1: I feel very very sweet and it's like the next
Speaker 1: phase of your life. So
Speaker 1: There's nothing we don't have to have a very big problem.
Speaker 1: Because I know you see some people in the news,
Speaker 1: they're like, oh this guy flew up like 50 drones
Speaker 1: or like put something on like, I don't know somewhere.
Speaker 1: Have you seen those like you poorly huge proposals? Right.
Speaker 1: And I don't know whether sometimes it stresses some guys
Speaker 1: do like maybe that they feel like their partner expects
Speaker 1: them to do something similar
Speaker 1: as well. But I think that times are changing. Like
Speaker 1: people are getting less fixated on these things, right? Do
Speaker 1: you feel so?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel so because my friends, they actually still
Speaker 2: do like very simple proposal. But in the end it
Speaker 2: just it's a moment between the couple. So what
Speaker 2: matters most to them? It's the most important. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Would you have been okay if it was just the
Speaker 1: two of you? Like he just did it privately with
Speaker 1: no friends and family. Actually, if he was he was
Speaker 1: back at island. Yeah, it was like two of us
Speaker 1: you thought it was going to
Speaker 1: that was romantic. It's like a very romantic dinner by
Speaker 1: the beach. Just the two of us flowers. So you
Speaker 1: know it's happening. It's happening just like I did my nails.
Speaker 1: I already have
Speaker 2: to explain that because it's her birthday.
Speaker 1: I knew
Speaker 2: it was gonna be, I knew like she loved the beach,
Speaker 2: like a dinner like Dina. So I asked the hotel
Speaker 2: to plan something for us then I didn't expect like
Speaker 2: they would do it so grand. You know, kinda like
Speaker 2: leading to the heart and everything.
Speaker 2: My heart was like red in color with roses
Speaker 1: and
Speaker 2: candles. Like is this like a bit too much. I
Speaker 2: just want a simple, you know like by the beach dinner.
Speaker 2: So in the end I posted online and people like,
Speaker 2: is it, is it the time, is it like I'm
Speaker 1: going to propose or something. I was like, you had
Speaker 1: some fun and they give you a yacht.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And what was going through your mind when I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my God, this is like way too
Speaker 1: romantic for you to to be a normal dinner. Yeah, proposal.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the dinner, there's nothing, you check, you,
Speaker 1: check the champagne glass, anything
Speaker 1: and he and nothing, nothing.
Speaker 2: You
Speaker 1: guys laughed about it after, I'm sure. Yeah, that was hilarious.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that with us. We have never known
Speaker 1: that hilarious moment. So for myself, I think for my
Speaker 1: friends and I sometimes we chat about this, I've got
Speaker 1: a couple of close friends getting married this year and
Speaker 1: next year as well. So, so we've talked about like,
Speaker 1: you know if they were to get proposed to the
Speaker 1: ones that haven't gotten engaged yet, like what it would
Speaker 1: be like. And some my friends asked me as well
Speaker 1: and I thought to myself like, you know, if my
Speaker 1: partner were to propose to me in front of like
Speaker 1: a crowd, I I would say no, I cannot deal,
Speaker 1: I cannot deal with the public thing. I don't know. Okay.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I wouldn't say Nola. But I guess
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be my ideal. Yeah, I think it would
Speaker 1: be too much. It would be too much. I personally
Speaker 1: feel that that kind of moment is,
Speaker 1: is best done intimately, you know, alone or like with
Speaker 1: a very, your inner circle sort of people that's about it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like nothing crazy or fancy. I think that those are
Speaker 1: my thoughts. Can imagine if it was like in the crowd,
Speaker 1: I don't know, New Year's Eve, then the drone is like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, like that would be so panic inducing, right?
Speaker 1: You'd be so pressured in that moment. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening to this episode of Men explain, nick
Speaker 1: and holding. Thank you for joining us here today. Thank
Speaker 1: you for having us.
Speaker 2: Thank you. If you enjoyed
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Speaker 1: And we'll catch you next time, Bye
Speaker 2: right