WEBVTT - Should I Only Date People In My League? 0:00:00.009 --> 0:00:03.579 Welcome to another episode of Men explained today. Oh, boy. 0:00:03.589 --> 0:00:07.380 I mean, invested in this topic. We're talking about dating 0:00:07.389 --> 0:00:10.728 in or out of your league. Does that even exist? 0:00:18.969 --> 0:00:21.639 I've got two very special guests with me. It's already chaos. 0:00:21.649 --> 0:00:27.409 The moment I stepped in, say hi to Shawn and Nadia. Hi. 0:00:27.639 --> 0:00:28.510 Hi, I am 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:31.620 Sean and I'm Nadia and I'm the better half of 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:32.729 why would you 0:00:32.810 --> 0:00:33.740 start off with this? 0:00:34.189 --> 0:00:36.278 I'm not going to lie. I was waiting to see 0:00:36.290 --> 0:00:39.790 that in person. It's part of the topic, Sean you 0:00:39.799 --> 0:00:42.250 must get with it. Come on, I'm 0:00:42.259 --> 0:00:44.918 assuming you are already above my leg. Yes, I'm, 0:00:45.270 --> 0:00:48.369 I'm setting the stage first. Yeah. So you know where 0:00:48.380 --> 0:00:49.159 this flows? 0:00:49.168 --> 0:00:50.500 I didn't put her on a pedestal. 0:00:52.069 --> 0:00:54.840 We've got time to unpack this. Ok. We've got time 0:00:54.849 --> 0:00:57.700 to really discuss delve in and get into the nitty 0:00:57.750 --> 0:01:00.939 gritty details. Let's go. Yeah, let's go. Ok, so we're 0:01:00.950 --> 0:01:03.400 talking about dating Les here today. I'm sure that this 0:01:03.409 --> 0:01:07.279 has come up before. Subconsciously. Yeah. Sometimes we don't even 0:01:07.290 --> 0:01:10.039 realize it right when you talk amongst your friends, sometimes 0:01:10.050 --> 0:01:13.029 you go like, oh no, he's so you're so out 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:14.259 of his league or like, 0:01:14.559 --> 0:01:17.230 now he's way below your league. Have you guys ever 0:01:17.239 --> 0:01:19.869 heard of these phrases being thrown around? I feel like 0:01:19.879 --> 0:01:22.849 a guy has, has told me that before. Like, no, 0:01:22.860 --> 0:01:24.569 I like you but I think you are out of 0:01:24.580 --> 0:01:26.819 my league. I'm just like, I feel like you're better. Yeah, 0:01:26.849 --> 0:01:29.589 I was just like, why do you ever think that? 0:01:29.599 --> 0:01:30.529 That's so weird. 0:01:30.540 --> 0:01:32.349 Yeah. A girl has never said I'm out of the 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:34.660 league before. By the way, just putting out there, 0:01:35.559 --> 0:01:38.059 I want to expand on that. Er, when this guy 0:01:38.069 --> 0:01:40.500 told you that, how did that make you feel? I 0:01:40.510 --> 0:01:43.900 just felt very weird because like, we are like classmates. Yeah, 0:01:43.910 --> 0:01:46.410 back then, like way back and I was like, 0:01:47.660 --> 0:01:50.440 I, I mean, it makes me feel good obviously. Like 0:01:50.449 --> 0:01:53.089 I'm like, 00, you think I'm great? But I just like, 0:01:53.099 --> 0:01:55.440 I don't want to feel that way even like, it's 0:01:55.449 --> 0:01:59.279 something that I want, I don't feel proud of because 0:01:59.419 --> 0:02:02.400 it feels like a, like a wall, right? Ok. Like, 0:02:02.410 --> 0:02:03.250 why would you, 0:02:04.110 --> 0:02:06.940 which is weird that the guy said up front said that, right? 0:02:06.949 --> 0:02:07.190 Would 0:02:07.199 --> 0:02:09.630 you ever say that even if you felt that way? 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:09.970 I mean, 0:02:09.979 --> 0:02:12.500 among guys when you discuss, like we discussed, 0:02:13.500 --> 0:02:13.929 I don't 0:02:14.220 --> 0:02:16.020 hear this. We were like, hey, you don't go for 0:02:16.029 --> 0:02:18.460 this girl and then we say like she a bit 0:02:18.470 --> 0:02:20.339 too up there for you. We will say some things 0:02:20.350 --> 0:02:22.710 among ourselves but it's a bit weird to tell the 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:24.710 girl directly. Like, oh, I think you both. 0:02:25.038 --> 0:02:26.839 So I want to break it down when you say, oh, 0:02:26.850 --> 0:02:29.520 she is way too ups for you or two or two, whatever, 0:02:29.529 --> 0:02:30.698 however you face it. 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:34.049 What is your definition of that? Is it looks, is 0:02:34.059 --> 0:02:37.300 it intellect? Is it education? Is it what, or is 0:02:37.309 --> 0:02:38.869 it a combination disclaimer 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:39.779 here? Um, 0:02:40.490 --> 0:02:46.029 looks are not the only thing, it's the first impression, right? Yeah. 0:02:46.038 --> 0:02:49.470 So sometimes if let's say we see someone that, that, 0:02:49.479 --> 0:02:53.880 that looks like an influencer or a model immediately, most 0:02:53.889 --> 0:02:55.829 guys will go like, you know, a lot of guys 0:02:55.839 --> 0:02:57.638 chasing her. She, you know, I can, I can go 0:02:57.649 --> 0:02:58.220 for 11. 0:02:58.589 --> 0:03:01.910 Really? Ok. So that is, that is your immediate thought? 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:02.660 That is 0:03:02.669 --> 0:03:05.089 what I hope most average guys feel 0:03:05.619 --> 0:03:07.669 that I feel as well. I hope I speak for 0:03:07.679 --> 0:03:08.669 every Singaporean out there. 0:03:08.788 --> 0:03:10.809 But what about like getting to know the person better? 0:03:10.820 --> 0:03:13.229 Like what if you really click intellectually 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.369 and on a different level, Sean is very good at 0:03:16.380 --> 0:03:21.630 like getting girls. Like he knows how to, he knows 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.250 how to slip into, slide into the D MS and like, 0:03:25.429 --> 0:03:29.740 like chat them up. Ok? I would like to continue, 0:03:29.750 --> 0:03:37.009 continue like stuff I've heard, you know, like in the past, 0:03:37.580 --> 0:03:40.050 I'm like, always like very like short. I'm like, wow, 0:03:40.460 --> 0:03:45.089 a good man. Like he finished an opening line. May 0:03:45.100 --> 0:03:45.110 I 0:03:45.119 --> 0:03:48.210 ask who I can I can give you one that, that, 0:03:48.220 --> 0:03:49.350 that she hates a lot. 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:50.979 Ok. Ok. I'm ready. I think I 0:03:51.630 --> 0:03:53.479 know this already. So, uh, so, yeah. Oh, 0:03:53.490 --> 0:03:56.149 no, I'm scared you should be, you should be. 0:03:56.639 --> 0:03:59.520 What, what is the, the number of love, the 0:03:59.529 --> 0:04:00.550 number of love? 0:04:00.559 --> 0:04:02.880 What's, if love I would have a number. Right. What, 0:04:02.889 --> 0:04:03.750 what's the number of love 0:04:04.410 --> 0:04:06.820 or you can't put a number to it? It's infinite. 0:04:07.610 --> 0:04:10.179 That's a good answer. But, but I scientifically, I have 0:04:10.190 --> 0:04:12.889 a correct answer for you. OK. Right. Right. Right. So 0:04:12.899 --> 0:04:17.230 the number is actually 55. Yeah, because you show me 0:04:17.238 --> 0:04:17.849 number five, 0:04:22.639 --> 0:04:24.729 you know how many times he has done on me? 0:04:24.759 --> 0:04:28.919 Oh my God. So then for you Nadia, you know, 0:04:28.928 --> 0:04:31.967 he's already shared what they talk about in their, their 0:04:31.979 --> 0:04:37.329 men chat. So in girl chat, for example, girl guys that, 0:04:37.338 --> 0:04:39.528 you know, you meet and like maybe potentially did all 0:04:39.769 --> 0:04:42.049 has this ever come up and have you shared this 0:04:42.058 --> 0:04:44.128 with your friends before? So like, I mean, 0:04:45.329 --> 0:04:48.700 I think, well, this is a bit tough because maybe 0:04:48.709 --> 0:04:53.589 it might make me sound a bit elitist somehow. OK? Like, OK, 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.309 this is the open space. So you can also ask 0:04:56.320 --> 0:05:00.268 me about my thoughts. OK? I'm sure that I say 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.980 some unsavory things. I don't know. Go ahead. OK. Why 0:05:02.988 --> 0:05:05.428 I think I might be a bit elitist is because 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.159 I want to find someone who is 0:05:07.450 --> 0:05:10.950 smarter than I am smarter than you Yeah, because I 0:05:10.959 --> 0:05:12.549 want to be inspired, you know, I want to be 0:05:12.559 --> 0:05:14.909 inspired by whoever I'm with like 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:17.250 how many, how many score? 0:05:18.540 --> 0:05:19.410 Say no. 0:05:19.559 --> 0:05:21.059 Yeah. How much was yours? 0:05:26.829 --> 0:05:30.519 Yeah. So that's why I, I would like kind of 0:05:30.529 --> 0:05:34.019 look at the school sometimes. Fish, fish. OK. Kind of 0:05:34.029 --> 0:05:36.229 I said kind of, but it's not the be all 0:05:36.250 --> 0:05:38.750 and all it subconscious thing is it sometimes you just, yeah, 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:41.350 it's a subconscious thing like, you know, 0:05:41.829 --> 0:05:43.910 because I know of some schools and I don't know 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:46.359 of some schools. So if I sometimes I don't hear 0:05:46.369 --> 0:05:49.899 of some schools, I'm like, oh, like it just makes 0:05:49.910 --> 0:05:53.950 me look elitist but actually I'm just not aware sometimes. Ok, 0:05:53.959 --> 0:05:55.969 I get what you mean. I get it's not the 0:05:56.029 --> 0:05:58.359 be all and every school is a good school. I know. 0:05:58.369 --> 0:06:01.880 I know. But I don't know, it was more like 0:06:01.890 --> 0:06:04.700 the education of the education I think also because 0:06:04.799 --> 0:06:08.190 grew up in Singapore. Yeah, it always like fit into 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:11.899 our brains. Like no, you know, because everything enough on 0:06:11.910 --> 0:06:14.599 that note since, since you mentioned it, um one of 0:06:14.609 --> 0:06:17.190 my close friends, we were just having a chat, you know, 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:21.269 um typical girls chat, an average of six hours. And we, 0:06:21.369 --> 0:06:24.869 and we were talking about this and she brought up 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:27.350 um this guy that she dated a couple of years 0:06:27.359 --> 0:06:27.709 back 0:06:28.119 --> 0:06:31.089 and she said, you know, like I never realized this, 0:06:31.100 --> 0:06:34.220 I didn't actually know which school he came from because 0:06:34.230 --> 0:06:36.239 I never talked about it because he never brought it 0:06:36.250 --> 0:06:39.609 up and he, she just found out recently that he 0:06:39.619 --> 0:06:42.130 actually didn't complete, er, I think he didn't go to 0:06:42.140 --> 0:06:43.630 JC or POLY or something like that. 0:06:44.079 --> 0:06:46.890 And to her that made her feel quite shocked because 0:06:46.899 --> 0:06:48.899 I think in a society like Singapore we are so 0:06:48.910 --> 0:06:50.579 used to. Oh, you got to, you got to Chung 0:06:50.589 --> 0:06:53.970 all the way you finish your diploma, you get your degree. 0:06:54.100 --> 0:06:55.649 So to her, she was like, oh, I was shocked 0:06:55.660 --> 0:06:58.738 but then maybe that's why it explains that I couldn't 0:06:58.750 --> 0:07:00.570 get along with him to some extent because certain things 0:07:00.579 --> 0:07:02.420 that I wanted to talk about him, he could never 0:07:02.428 --> 0:07:05.570 really like continue the conversation. So I was like, oh really? 0:07:05.579 --> 0:07:07.269 Like I didn't think I didn't think of that 0:07:07.351 --> 0:07:10.213 because I would not, that is not the first question 0:07:10.222 --> 0:07:12.243 that comes to my mind like what school are you from? 0:07:12.252 --> 0:07:12.393 But 0:07:12.403 --> 0:07:13.013 they were together for 0:07:13.023 --> 0:07:15.342 years. She never a year or so I think it 0:07:15.352 --> 0:07:17.412 just never came up for some reason, like they just 0:07:17.423 --> 0:07:18.222 never talked about 0:07:18.233 --> 0:07:21.273 it. So let's say you were to, let's say you 0:07:21.282 --> 0:07:23.372 are on the market now and somebody hit you. But 0:07:23.382 --> 0:07:26.122 I'm from, I'm from secondary school. 0:07:27.062 --> 0:07:27.382 What's up 0:07:28.852 --> 0:07:30.403 like the most neighborhood school 0:07:31.415 --> 0:07:35.735 then? Would you automatically think neighborhood school? OK. You need 0:07:35.746 --> 0:07:36.545 to work harder to chase 0:07:36.555 --> 0:07:41.036 me. Not necessarily that way, not from an elite school. 0:07:41.045 --> 0:07:44.045 I'm also just, you know, from a regular school, Anthony's 0:07:44.055 --> 0:07:47.716 whatsapp and, and you know, the thing, the thing about 0:07:47.726 --> 0:07:50.346 it is back then I met all kinds of people. Right. Like, 0:07:50.355 --> 0:07:53.816 you know, you meet people from boy school, from mix school, whatever. 0:07:54.170 --> 0:07:56.750 And I think, like, everyone comes together in a setting 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.899 like poly where you don't, you would have never thought 0:07:59.910 --> 0:08:02.010 you meet, like, wow, such a wide variety of people. 0:08:02.369 --> 0:08:05.529 And it strikes me that everyone is intellectual in their 0:08:05.540 --> 0:08:08.690 own way or, you know, they communicate in their own way. 0:08:08.700 --> 0:08:11.410 Maybe it's just not what you're used to. But if 0:08:11.420 --> 0:08:14.160 you're a bit more open minded, yeah, it's ok. Yeah. 0:08:14.170 --> 0:08:16.440 Can be more open mind. No. Ok. So that's why 0:08:16.450 --> 0:08:21.799 I wanted to continue and say, like, because of, ok, so, 0:08:21.809 --> 0:08:23.519 I mean, I talked to my girlfriend before 0:08:23.619 --> 0:08:25.700 about like, oh, like, oh, then they'll be like, where did, 0:08:25.779 --> 0:08:28.350 where did he come from? Like, oh, what school and all? 0:08:28.570 --> 0:08:30.290 So when I, when I tell it to them and 0:08:30.299 --> 0:08:34.000 then they are like, uh, like, really? I'm just like, huh? 0:08:34.010 --> 0:08:37.439 But it's ok, like I'm ok with it. I'm just like, saying, like, 0:08:37.469 --> 0:08:39.929 this is what gets brought up sometimes but it's not 0:08:39.940 --> 0:08:43.750 all the time. Yeah, for sure. Especially in our country. 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:44.218 I think 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:47.909 if you're watching this don't be so judgy. Hey, 0:08:47.969 --> 0:08:54.289 are they dating or single or, um, dating? Dating? Yeah. Ok. Ok. So, 0:08:54.299 --> 0:08:57.059 aside from the education aspect, I mean, there are other 0:08:57.070 --> 0:08:59.510 things that we look at, you know, for example, financial 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:03.809 status age, um, do these things pop up as well? 0:09:03.820 --> 0:09:06.070 Like when you look at a potential partner, 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.539 not when I say this right to me, I'm ok with, uh, 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:13.750 if my partner earns more than me. Right. And like, 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.210 I mean, in this day and age it's not, it's 0:09:16.219 --> 0:09:18.869 not a fast anymore. Right. I, I thought I told her, like, 0:09:18.940 --> 0:09:20.659 if my partner earns a lot, right? I will be 0:09:20.669 --> 0:09:22.789 the best stay at home dad for, for, you know, 0:09:22.799 --> 0:09:24.320 I'm going, when you're home, I'm going to make sure 0:09:24.330 --> 0:09:27.070 the food is, food is cold, the house is clean, everything. 0:09:27.460 --> 0:09:29.619 Hey, you just earn the money. I do anything else? 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:30.219 That's 0:09:30.229 --> 0:09:32.569 great. And why he says I hate it is because 0:09:32.580 --> 0:09:35.439 like what I said, I like someone with ambition. I 0:09:35.450 --> 0:09:39.289 don't want someone who, who desires to stay at home 0:09:39.299 --> 0:09:41.859 and calling me lazy and we all make I know, 0:09:41.869 --> 0:09:46.329 say you say yourself ok. So are you more of 0:09:46.340 --> 0:09:47.449 like a go getter? 0:09:48.159 --> 0:09:50.179 I feel I'm more of a go getter and more 0:09:50.190 --> 0:09:53.500 of a I would say I'm more alpha than the 0:09:53.510 --> 0:09:56.099 usual girl. And that's why I feel I need someone 0:09:56.109 --> 0:10:00.309 more alpha than I am, which is who's going out alpha. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.459 You ok? I am also not sure. So don't you 0:10:03.469 --> 0:10:05.830 think sometimes you need, do you need a balance? You 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.039 feel like, do you think? Yeah, you need a in 0:10:08.049 --> 0:10:08.218 your 0:10:08.229 --> 0:10:08.609 life. 0:10:09.619 --> 0:10:12.710 Actually I am. Although I, I think I'm a bit 0:10:12.719 --> 0:10:13.590 more alpha, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:18.549 I'm very simp. Like I am a simp. Ok. So 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:21.728 I can be like the simp in the relationship. But 0:10:21.739 --> 0:10:25.590 I would really like someone who, who is driven, who 0:10:25.599 --> 0:10:27.478 knows what they want, at least, you know, like you 0:10:27.489 --> 0:10:29.729 don't have to be like a CEO, you know, you 0:10:29.739 --> 0:10:31.250 just need to know what you want to do with 0:10:31.260 --> 0:10:32.848 your life and like 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.409 too lazy. Like no, not 0:10:35.419 --> 0:10:37.150 for me, you can ask you both this question. So 0:10:37.700 --> 0:10:39.809 you're dating this guy, right? So this guy is just 0:10:39.820 --> 0:10:43.549 working at, let's say a random part time job. But 0:10:43.799 --> 0:10:45.409 he says his dream is to one day make it 0:10:45.419 --> 0:10:49.109 big as a musician. He's working on it but financially 0:10:49.179 --> 0:10:52.460 8 50 an hour, but he's very driven. Would you 0:10:52.469 --> 0:10:54.080 consider at this stage? Now? 0:10:54.090 --> 0:10:56.450 Actually, you, you, you interesting that you brought up at 0:10:56.460 --> 0:10:59.950 this stage because I think a different face calls for 0:10:59.960 --> 0:11:00.989 a different mindset. 0:11:01.330 --> 0:11:03.900 I think for me in this head space right now, 0:11:03.909 --> 0:11:06.739 I do need someone to like match up to my 0:11:06.750 --> 0:11:10.669 current ambition and phase of life and it, it, that's 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:12.459 why it's always difficult for me to date people of 0:11:12.469 --> 0:11:14.699 the same age. I'm not saying that people of my 0:11:14.710 --> 0:11:17.309 age are not, don't have it together. But I think 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.859 in general cause guys enter the workforce a little later. 0:11:19.869 --> 0:11:22.030 So maybe they take some time as well and it 0:11:22.039 --> 0:11:24.059 doesn't help that I entered the workforce super early, like 0:11:24.070 --> 0:11:25.478 I entered when I was in school still. 0:11:25.719 --> 0:11:28.400 So, technically, it seems like I have a lifetime of 0:11:28.409 --> 0:11:31.500 work experience, but I was just working through my school 0:11:31.510 --> 0:11:34.619 days and then the early twenties and all that. Right. So, 0:11:34.630 --> 0:11:39.489 I think, unfortunately in this phase of my life I 0:11:39.500 --> 0:11:43.270 need to date someone who is a bit more stable. Yeah. Yeah. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.489 And that's why my current partner is 14 years older. Ok. 0:11:46.500 --> 0:11:49.469 That is why I don't like dating apps because I 0:11:49.479 --> 0:11:52.700 don't like looking at it like it's a resume, you know? Ok. 0:11:52.710 --> 0:11:54.219 So I've never been on a dating app. Tell me 0:11:54.229 --> 0:11:54.630 why 0:11:55.229 --> 0:11:57.409 it's, it's horrible because I feel like at the end 0:11:57.419 --> 0:12:00.000 of the day I'm just swiping everyone away and I'm like, 0:12:00.179 --> 0:12:02.829 I'm such a horrible person. I'm just looking at everything 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.409 at face value and just seeing what job they have, 0:12:05.419 --> 0:12:08.630 what school they are in, like, how old they are. 0:12:08.650 --> 0:12:10.900 They do the same to you. Yeah. I know. But 0:12:10.909 --> 0:12:13.929 I don't like, it gets too technical. Like you just like, oh, ok. 0:12:13.940 --> 0:12:16.718 I'm just looking at your, your CV or something. Yeah. 0:12:16.729 --> 0:12:19.900 And I don't like that, that feeling. Yeah. So, in 0:12:19.909 --> 0:12:21.718 the end I just used it, like, twice and I, like, 0:12:21.729 --> 0:12:22.679 buy because I, 0:12:23.020 --> 0:12:25.580 I just feel horrible. Like, I'm judging based on their 0:12:25.590 --> 0:12:29.340 looks and, like, just very superficial things. Yeah. But if 0:12:29.349 --> 0:12:32.950 I meet someone face to face, like, organically, I can 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.109 even fall in love with someone who is, like, like 0:12:35.119 --> 0:12:38.390 way younger than I am or like, you know, like, er, 0:12:38.909 --> 0:12:42.829 not even financially stable as I am. Yeah. So that's 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.539 why it's very different. I agree because when you look 0:12:45.549 --> 0:12:47.169 at the, the stats 0:12:47.234 --> 0:12:49.743 on the dating app, for example, you are already seeing 0:12:49.755 --> 0:12:52.414 out what you think you don't want right before you 0:12:52.424 --> 0:12:54.284 even get to know a person. Yeah. And of course 0:12:54.294 --> 0:12:57.224 you just want the best, right? So, if you are searching, 0:12:57.234 --> 0:12:59.875 then I will search for the best. It's like normal, like, jobs. 0:13:00.655 --> 0:13:02.744 So your partner, let, say you studying poly, you go 0:13:03.155 --> 0:13:04.103 pick him up, you. Ok, 0:13:04.414 --> 0:13:07.655 I'm ok. Ok. If the chemistry, if I love him 0:13:07.664 --> 0:13:09.244 that much, I will just do it. 0:13:09.255 --> 0:13:10.655 You go pick up your boyfriend. 0:13:11.659 --> 0:13:16.598 Ok. My boyfriend used to pick me from school. I mean, 0:13:16.609 --> 0:13:21.010 you know, like, it's just perception, right? Like society's perception, like, 0:13:21.020 --> 0:13:23.770 if you were sidetracked a little, but if you were 0:13:23.780 --> 0:13:26.238 30 year old guy dating a 40 year old woman, 0:13:26.250 --> 0:13:27.189 it's not so bad. 0:13:27.690 --> 0:13:29.710 But then suddenly if you are like a 30 year 0:13:29.770 --> 0:13:31.820 old woman dating a 20 year old guy, then people 0:13:31.830 --> 0:13:35.049 are like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's 0:13:35.059 --> 0:13:38.260 just the stage of life stage of life. Exactly. Ok. Maybe, 0:13:38.270 --> 0:13:40.000 probably a bit too extreme. Like, if you put it 0:13:40.010 --> 0:13:42.380 in uni, it's like, not so bad, you know, like, 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.799 it's getting out soon. It's true. And I just judge 0:13:45.809 --> 0:13:50.049 the nu pageant I'm saying, what's up, what is up, 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:51.510 show you some video later? 0:13:52.190 --> 0:13:56.590 So Sean in a hypothetical situation, hypothetical, ok, would you 0:13:56.599 --> 0:14:01.890 rather date up or date down if the dating leaks 0:14:01.900 --> 0:14:02.840 do exist? 0:14:03.460 --> 0:14:05.919 So, to me, I, I absolutely believe the dating links 0:14:05.929 --> 0:14:11.728 exist and to answer your question, right. Most guys, you 0:14:11.739 --> 0:14:14.179 guys will you date up, right? But I think for 0:14:14.190 --> 0:14:15.590 me in actuality, right? 0:14:16.599 --> 0:14:19.419 I won't have the confidence to get out. I don't 0:14:19.429 --> 0:14:19.729 think 0:14:19.739 --> 0:14:20.229 so. 0:14:23.099 --> 0:14:26.219 II I don't think I will dare to even strike 0:14:26.229 --> 0:14:27.710 up a with a girl you 0:14:27.719 --> 0:14:29.859 have. Do you feel OK, this might be a bit 0:14:29.869 --> 0:14:32.609 of a personal question and I hope it's not too sensitive. 0:14:32.619 --> 0:14:34.409 But do you think you said that you are not 0:14:34.419 --> 0:14:38.210 confident enough? Do you think that you mask that with 0:14:38.219 --> 0:14:42.190 like trying to be funny or like dropping one liners 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:43.260 100% all 0:14:43.270 --> 0:14:45.630 the time? Is it really? OK? I wasn't sure that 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.210 was like a sensitive question to ask. I mean, 0:14:47.219 --> 0:14:50.669 everyone's insecure to a certain extent. Right. Right. And, and 0:14:50.700 --> 0:14:53.460 11 thing that, that my, my company always makes me 0:14:53.469 --> 0:14:55.109 feel insecure about my height. So 0:14:57.059 --> 0:14:59.530 no, but we always say that you are funny and 0:15:00.859 --> 0:15:01.780 and witty, 0:15:01.859 --> 0:15:03.309 hence why I compensate, 0:15:03.450 --> 0:15:06.260 we can give us a witty line and he will 0:15:06.270 --> 0:15:07.799 be like, OK, OK. 0:15:09.289 --> 0:15:13.150 So for me, right? Like if I see someone who 0:15:13.159 --> 0:15:15.469 I perceive as as a bit. Right. I will have 0:15:15.479 --> 0:15:17.500 more confidence to, to approach 0:15:17.750 --> 0:15:18.739 it a bit lower. 0:15:19.450 --> 0:15:19.729 Um, 0:15:22.289 --> 0:15:25.030 oh, it is a bit lower. Ok, let's say, er, 0:15:25.039 --> 0:15:30.090 maybe someone socially is a bit more shy. My safest 0:15:30.099 --> 0:15:30.570 answer I can tell 0:15:30.679 --> 0:15:33.059 you or maybe at a different stage of life, like 0:15:33.070 --> 0:15:37.210 maybe still figuring career out or, I don't know, in 0:15:37.340 --> 0:15:38.450 a place where you kind of figured it 0:15:38.460 --> 0:15:40.960 out, but at my age, if I did someone who 0:15:40.969 --> 0:15:43.159 was still in school, it is a bit questionable. I 0:15:43.750 --> 0:15:48.460 mean, hold on you. Are you OK. When I was 0:15:48.469 --> 0:15:49.229 in uni, 0:15:49.590 --> 0:15:50.729 I did a 30 year old. 0:15:51.969 --> 0:15:56.330 You were like 2021? Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. 0:15:56.570 --> 0:15:59.520 Ok. Ok. Ok. OK. Don't come at me, comment section. 0:15:59.530 --> 0:16:01.469 I'm very scared of you guys. Sometimes I feel 0:16:01.479 --> 0:16:05.559 like if I'm chasing someone who I perceive to be higher, I, 0:16:06.049 --> 0:16:09.229 I over think a lot of things like, ok, guys 0:16:09.239 --> 0:16:10.859 are sending her home already, then I don't drive, then 0:16:10.869 --> 0:16:12.900 guys are buying her things. We, I can afford it. 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:16.630 I only have my, my personal to, to win you 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:17.479 over there, but 0:16:17.909 --> 0:16:21.640 personality is the most important. Yeah. Honestly I tell you, 0:16:21.650 --> 0:16:23.530 I would rather date a guy with good personality and 0:16:23.539 --> 0:16:26.729 character than a guy with a Lamborghini like 100% right? 0:16:26.739 --> 0:16:29.570 You know, sometimes they put them in front of the car, 0:16:29.580 --> 0:16:32.409 in front of the car, like such a huge turn 0:16:32.419 --> 0:16:33.409 off and I'm like a 0:16:34.130 --> 0:16:35.080 personality is not, 0:16:35.929 --> 0:16:38.409 is it a first impression thing to you guys or 0:16:38.419 --> 0:16:40.330 looks first? And if you drive a car, you think? Ok, 0:16:40.340 --> 0:16:40.900 this guy? 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.469 No. Ok. The funny thing is actually I'll tell you 0:16:43.479 --> 0:16:46.409 what happened when I first went out with my current partner. Ok. 0:16:46.820 --> 0:16:51.429 So firstly I, OK, I wasn't immediately like, oh, ok, 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.280 I'm gonna, I'm gonna date you or like, it wasn't immediate, 0:16:54.539 --> 0:16:56.510 we, we got to know each other like slowly. I 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:58.169 was like, oh, I really like, I, I'm a, I'm 0:16:58.179 --> 0:17:01.210 a personality person so I really like if you make 0:17:01.219 --> 0:17:03.409 me laugh or like, we get along really well, we 0:17:03.419 --> 0:17:06.119 can banter and stuff, you know, banter on love. I 0:17:06.130 --> 0:17:09.420 learn what's going on. Ok. No, but the is important, 0:17:09.430 --> 0:17:12.770 like fun. It is important. Yeah, you keep the conversation going, 0:17:12.780 --> 0:17:14.400 you can talk for hours, you can do all kinds 0:17:14.410 --> 0:17:17.760 of things together. Then, er, m, I didn't ask about 0:17:17.770 --> 0:17:20.300 his background or anything. Like, I didn't know much about 0:17:20.310 --> 0:17:21.890 him at all. We went out on a date 0:17:22.390 --> 0:17:25.520 and we went for dinner. So we sat down, we 0:17:25.530 --> 0:17:28.089 ate and then there's a valley service outside because it's 0:17:28.099 --> 0:17:31.280 like one of those parallel parking areas with no parking space. 0:17:31.449 --> 0:17:35.239 So this like, quite ratchet car rolls by. That looks 0:17:35.250 --> 0:17:37.510 like it just got banged up in an accident and 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:39.680 they patched up the door with like something else, you know, 0:17:39.689 --> 0:17:42.079 like that kind of. So, and then we are sitting 0:17:42.089 --> 0:17:44.159 right at the road near the roadside and he goes, oh, 0:17:44.170 --> 0:17:45.099 that's my car. 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.290 And then I turned around and I was like, oh, 0:17:47.300 --> 0:17:49.449 I was like, it was so cute and I was like, 0:17:49.459 --> 0:17:52.170 that's a cute car and he goes, no, I'm kidding. 0:17:52.180 --> 0:17:54.500 That's not, I'm just, I'm just joking. Just testing you. 0:17:55.319 --> 0:17:57.089 I was like, oh, ok. Was that a test? I 0:17:57.099 --> 0:17:58.959 was like, did I pass? I don't know. But it 0:17:58.969 --> 0:18:02.229 also shows that he is funny. Exactly. I did get 0:18:02.239 --> 0:18:04.079 a good laugh out of it because how he was 0:18:04.089 --> 0:18:06.750 dressed did not match that car at all. And I 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:08.188