Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Men explained today. Oh, boy.
Speaker 1: I mean, invested in this topic. We're talking about dating
Speaker 1: in or out of your league. Does that even exist?
Speaker 1: I've got two very special guests with me. It's already chaos.
Speaker 1: The moment I stepped in, say hi to Shawn and Nadia. Hi.
Speaker 2: Hi, I am
Speaker 1: Sean and I'm Nadia and I'm the better half of
Speaker 1: why would you
Speaker 2: start off with this?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie. I was waiting to see
Speaker 1: that in person. It's part of the topic, Sean you
Speaker 1: must get with it. Come on, I'm
Speaker 2: assuming you are already above my leg. Yes, I'm,
Speaker 1: I'm setting the stage first. Yeah. So you know where
Speaker 1: this flows?
Speaker 2: I didn't put her on a pedestal.
Speaker 1: We've got time to unpack this. Ok. We've got time
Speaker 1: to really discuss delve in and get into the nitty
Speaker 1: gritty details. Let's go. Yeah, let's go. Ok, so we're
Speaker 1: talking about dating Les here today. I'm sure that this
Speaker 1: has come up before. Subconsciously. Yeah. Sometimes we don't even
Speaker 1: realize it right when you talk amongst your friends, sometimes
Speaker 1: you go like, oh no, he's so you're so out
Speaker 1: of his league or like,
Speaker 1: now he's way below your league. Have you guys ever
Speaker 1: heard of these phrases being thrown around? I feel like
Speaker 1: a guy has, has told me that before. Like, no,
Speaker 1: I like you but I think you are out of
Speaker 1: my league. I'm just like, I feel like you're better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just like, why do you ever think that?
Speaker 1: That's so weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah. A girl has never said I'm out of the
Speaker 2: league before. By the way, just putting out there,
Speaker 1: I want to expand on that. Er, when this guy
Speaker 1: told you that, how did that make you feel? I
Speaker 1: just felt very weird because like, we are like classmates. Yeah,
Speaker 1: back then, like way back and I was like,
Speaker 1: I, I mean, it makes me feel good obviously. Like
Speaker 1: I'm like, 00, you think I'm great? But I just like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel that way even like, it's
Speaker 1: something that I want, I don't feel proud of because
Speaker 1: it feels like a, like a wall, right? Ok. Like,
Speaker 1: why would you,
Speaker 2: which is weird that the guy said up front said that, right?
Speaker 2: Would
Speaker 1: you ever say that even if you felt that way?
Speaker 1: I mean,
Speaker 2: among guys when you discuss, like we discussed,
Speaker 1: I don't
Speaker 2: hear this. We were like, hey, you don't go for
Speaker 2: this girl and then we say like she a bit
Speaker 2: too up there for you. We will say some things
Speaker 2: among ourselves but it's a bit weird to tell the
Speaker 2: girl directly. Like, oh, I think you both.
Speaker 1: So I want to break it down when you say, oh,
Speaker 1: she is way too ups for you or two or two, whatever,
Speaker 1: however you face it.
Speaker 1: What is your definition of that? Is it looks, is
Speaker 1: it intellect? Is it education? Is it what, or is
Speaker 1: it a combination disclaimer
Speaker 2: here? Um,
Speaker 2: looks are not the only thing, it's the first impression, right? Yeah.
Speaker 2: So sometimes if let's say we see someone that, that,
Speaker 2: that looks like an influencer or a model immediately, most
Speaker 2: guys will go like, you know, a lot of guys
Speaker 2: chasing her. She, you know, I can, I can go
Speaker 2: for 11.
Speaker 1: Really? Ok. So that is, that is your immediate thought?
Speaker 1: That is
Speaker 2: what I hope most average guys feel
Speaker 2: that I feel as well. I hope I speak for
Speaker 2: every Singaporean out there.
Speaker 1: But what about like getting to know the person better?
Speaker 1: Like what if you really click intellectually
Speaker 1: and on a different level, Sean is very good at
Speaker 1: like getting girls. Like he knows how to, he knows
Speaker 1: how to slip into, slide into the D MS and like,
Speaker 1: like chat them up. Ok? I would like to continue,
Speaker 1: continue like stuff I've heard, you know, like in the past,
Speaker 1: I'm like, always like very like short. I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: a good man. Like he finished an opening line. May
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: ask who I can I can give you one that, that,
Speaker 2: that she hates a lot.
Speaker 1: Ok. Ok. I'm ready. I think I
Speaker 2: know this already. So, uh, so, yeah. Oh,
Speaker 1: no, I'm scared you should be, you should be.
Speaker 2: What, what is the, the number of love, the
Speaker 1: number of love?
Speaker 2: What's, if love I would have a number. Right. What,
Speaker 2: what's the number of love
Speaker 1: or you can't put a number to it? It's infinite.
Speaker 2: That's a good answer. But, but I scientifically, I have
Speaker 2: a correct answer for you. OK. Right. Right. Right. So
Speaker 2: the number is actually 55. Yeah, because you show me
Speaker 2: number five,
Speaker 1: you know how many times he has done on me?
Speaker 1: Oh my God. So then for you Nadia, you know,
Speaker 1: he's already shared what they talk about in their, their
Speaker 1: men chat. So in girl chat, for example, girl guys that,
Speaker 1: you know, you meet and like maybe potentially did all
Speaker 1: has this ever come up and have you shared this
Speaker 1: with your friends before? So like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think, well, this is a bit tough because maybe
Speaker 1: it might make me sound a bit elitist somehow. OK? Like, OK,
Speaker 1: this is the open space. So you can also ask
Speaker 1: me about my thoughts. OK? I'm sure that I say
Speaker 1: some unsavory things. I don't know. Go ahead. OK. Why
Speaker 1: I think I might be a bit elitist is because
Speaker 1: I want to find someone who is
Speaker 1: smarter than I am smarter than you Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: want to be inspired, you know, I want to be
Speaker 1: inspired by whoever I'm with like
Speaker 2: how many, how many score?
Speaker 1: Say no.
Speaker 2: Yeah. How much was yours?
Speaker 1: Yeah. So that's why I, I would like kind of
Speaker 1: look at the school sometimes. Fish, fish. OK. Kind of
Speaker 1: I said kind of, but it's not the be all
Speaker 1: and all it subconscious thing is it sometimes you just, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a subconscious thing like, you know,
Speaker 1: because I know of some schools and I don't know
Speaker 1: of some schools. So if I sometimes I don't hear
Speaker 1: of some schools, I'm like, oh, like it just makes
Speaker 1: me look elitist but actually I'm just not aware sometimes. Ok,
Speaker 1: I get what you mean. I get it's not the
Speaker 1: be all and every school is a good school. I know.
Speaker 1: I know. But I don't know, it was more like
Speaker 1: the education of the education I think also because
Speaker 1: grew up in Singapore. Yeah, it always like fit into
Speaker 1: our brains. Like no, you know, because everything enough on
Speaker 1: that note since, since you mentioned it, um one of
Speaker 1: my close friends, we were just having a chat, you know,
Speaker 1: um typical girls chat, an average of six hours. And we,
Speaker 1: and we were talking about this and she brought up
Speaker 1: um this guy that she dated a couple of years
Speaker 1: back
Speaker 1: and she said, you know, like I never realized this,
Speaker 1: I didn't actually know which school he came from because
Speaker 1: I never talked about it because he never brought it
Speaker 1: up and he, she just found out recently that he
Speaker 1: actually didn't complete, er, I think he didn't go to
Speaker 1: JC or POLY or something like that.
Speaker 1: And to her that made her feel quite shocked because
Speaker 1: I think in a society like Singapore we are so
Speaker 1: used to. Oh, you got to, you got to Chung
Speaker 1: all the way you finish your diploma, you get your degree.
Speaker 1: So to her, she was like, oh, I was shocked
Speaker 1: but then maybe that's why it explains that I couldn't
Speaker 1: get along with him to some extent because certain things
Speaker 1: that I wanted to talk about him, he could never
Speaker 1: really like continue the conversation. So I was like, oh really?
Speaker 1: Like I didn't think I didn't think of that
Speaker 1: because I would not, that is not the first question
Speaker 1: that comes to my mind like what school are you from?
Speaker 1: But
Speaker 2: they were together for
Speaker 1: years. She never a year or so I think it
Speaker 1: just never came up for some reason, like they just
Speaker 1: never talked about
Speaker 2: it. So let's say you were to, let's say you
Speaker 2: are on the market now and somebody hit you. But
Speaker 2: I'm from, I'm from secondary school.
Speaker 1: What's up
Speaker 2: like the most neighborhood school
Speaker 2: then? Would you automatically think neighborhood school? OK. You need
Speaker 2: to work harder to chase
Speaker 1: me. Not necessarily that way, not from an elite school.
Speaker 1: I'm also just, you know, from a regular school, Anthony's
Speaker 1: whatsapp and, and you know, the thing, the thing about
Speaker 1: it is back then I met all kinds of people. Right. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, you meet people from boy school, from mix school, whatever.
Speaker 1: And I think, like, everyone comes together in a setting
Speaker 1: like poly where you don't, you would have never thought
Speaker 1: you meet, like, wow, such a wide variety of people.
Speaker 1: And it strikes me that everyone is intellectual in their
Speaker 1: own way or, you know, they communicate in their own way.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just not what you're used to. But if
Speaker 1: you're a bit more open minded, yeah, it's ok. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Can be more open mind. No. Ok. So that's why
Speaker 1: I wanted to continue and say, like, because of, ok, so,
Speaker 1: I mean, I talked to my girlfriend before
Speaker 1: about like, oh, like, oh, then they'll be like, where did,
Speaker 1: where did he come from? Like, oh, what school and all?
Speaker 1: So when I, when I tell it to them and
Speaker 1: then they are like, uh, like, really? I'm just like, huh?
Speaker 1: But it's ok, like I'm ok with it. I'm just like, saying, like,
Speaker 1: this is what gets brought up sometimes but it's not
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, for sure. Especially in our country.
Speaker 1: I think
Speaker 2: if you're watching this don't be so judgy. Hey,
Speaker 1: are they dating or single or, um, dating? Dating? Yeah. Ok. Ok. So,
Speaker 1: aside from the education aspect, I mean, there are other
Speaker 1: things that we look at, you know, for example, financial
Speaker 1: status age, um, do these things pop up as well?
Speaker 1: Like when you look at a potential partner,
Speaker 2: not when I say this right to me, I'm ok with, uh,
Speaker 2: if my partner earns more than me. Right. And like,
Speaker 2: I mean, in this day and age it's not, it's
Speaker 2: not a fast anymore. Right. I, I thought I told her, like,
Speaker 2: if my partner earns a lot, right? I will be
Speaker 2: the best stay at home dad for, for, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm going, when you're home, I'm going to make sure
Speaker 2: the food is, food is cold, the house is clean, everything.
Speaker 2: Hey, you just earn the money. I do anything else?
Speaker 2: That's
Speaker 1: great. And why he says I hate it is because
Speaker 1: like what I said, I like someone with ambition. I
Speaker 1: don't want someone who, who desires to stay at home
Speaker 1: and calling me lazy and we all make I know,
Speaker 1: say you say yourself ok. So are you more of
Speaker 1: like a go getter?
Speaker 1: I feel I'm more of a go getter and more
Speaker 1: of a I would say I'm more alpha than the
Speaker 1: usual girl. And that's why I feel I need someone
Speaker 1: more alpha than I am, which is who's going out alpha.
Speaker 1: You ok? I am also not sure. So don't you
Speaker 1: think sometimes you need, do you need a balance? You
Speaker 1: feel like, do you think? Yeah, you need a in
Speaker 1: your
Speaker 2: life.
Speaker 1: Actually I am. Although I, I think I'm a bit
Speaker 1: more alpha,
Speaker 1: I'm very simp. Like I am a simp. Ok. So
Speaker 1: I can be like the simp in the relationship. But
Speaker 1: I would really like someone who, who is driven, who
Speaker 1: knows what they want, at least, you know, like you
Speaker 1: don't have to be like a CEO, you know, you
Speaker 1: just need to know what you want to do with
Speaker 1: your life and like
Speaker 1: too lazy. Like no, not
Speaker 2: for me, you can ask you both this question. So
Speaker 2: you're dating this guy, right? So this guy is just
Speaker 2: working at, let's say a random part time job. But
Speaker 2: he says his dream is to one day make it
Speaker 2: big as a musician. He's working on it but financially
Speaker 2: 8 50 an hour, but he's very driven. Would you
Speaker 2: consider at this stage? Now?
Speaker 1: Actually, you, you, you interesting that you brought up at
Speaker 1: this stage because I think a different face calls for
Speaker 1: a different mindset.
Speaker 1: I think for me in this head space right now,
Speaker 1: I do need someone to like match up to my
Speaker 1: current ambition and phase of life and it, it, that's
Speaker 1: why it's always difficult for me to date people of
Speaker 1: the same age. I'm not saying that people of my
Speaker 1: age are not, don't have it together. But I think
Speaker 1: in general cause guys enter the workforce a little later.
Speaker 1: So maybe they take some time as well and it
Speaker 1: doesn't help that I entered the workforce super early, like
Speaker 1: I entered when I was in school still.
Speaker 1: So, technically, it seems like I have a lifetime of
Speaker 1: work experience, but I was just working through my school
Speaker 1: days and then the early twenties and all that. Right. So,
Speaker 1: I think, unfortunately in this phase of my life I
Speaker 1: need to date someone who is a bit more stable. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And that's why my current partner is 14 years older. Ok.
Speaker 1: That is why I don't like dating apps because I
Speaker 1: don't like looking at it like it's a resume, you know? Ok.
Speaker 1: So I've never been on a dating app. Tell me
Speaker 1: why
Speaker 1: it's, it's horrible because I feel like at the end
Speaker 1: of the day I'm just swiping everyone away and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm such a horrible person. I'm just looking at everything
Speaker 1: at face value and just seeing what job they have,
Speaker 1: what school they are in, like, how old they are.
Speaker 1: They do the same to you. Yeah. I know. But
Speaker 1: I don't like, it gets too technical. Like you just like, oh, ok.
Speaker 1: I'm just looking at your, your CV or something. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I don't like that, that feeling. Yeah. So, in
Speaker 1: the end I just used it, like, twice and I, like,
Speaker 1: buy because I,
Speaker 1: I just feel horrible. Like, I'm judging based on their
Speaker 1: looks and, like, just very superficial things. Yeah. But if
Speaker 1: I meet someone face to face, like, organically, I can
Speaker 1: even fall in love with someone who is, like, like
Speaker 1: way younger than I am or like, you know, like, er,
Speaker 1: not even financially stable as I am. Yeah. So that's
Speaker 1: why it's very different. I agree because when you look
Speaker 1: at the, the stats
Speaker 1: on the dating app, for example, you are already seeing
Speaker 1: out what you think you don't want right before you
Speaker 1: even get to know a person. Yeah. And of course
Speaker 1: you just want the best, right? So, if you are searching,
Speaker 1: then I will search for the best. It's like normal, like, jobs.
Speaker 2: So your partner, let, say you studying poly, you go
Speaker 2: pick him up, you. Ok,
Speaker 1: I'm ok. Ok. If the chemistry, if I love him
Speaker 1: that much, I will just do it.
Speaker 2: You go pick up your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Ok. My boyfriend used to pick me from school. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, like, it's just perception, right? Like society's perception, like,
Speaker 1: if you were sidetracked a little, but if you were
Speaker 1: 30 year old guy dating a 40 year old woman,
Speaker 1: it's not so bad.
Speaker 1: But then suddenly if you are like a 30 year
Speaker 1: old woman dating a 20 year old guy, then people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's
Speaker 1: just the stage of life stage of life. Exactly. Ok. Maybe,
Speaker 1: probably a bit too extreme. Like, if you put it
Speaker 1: in uni, it's like, not so bad, you know, like,
Speaker 1: it's getting out soon. It's true. And I just judge
Speaker 1: the nu pageant I'm saying, what's up, what is up,
Speaker 1: show you some video later?
Speaker 1: So Sean in a hypothetical situation, hypothetical, ok, would you
Speaker 1: rather date up or date down if the dating leaks
Speaker 1: do exist?
Speaker 2: So, to me, I, I absolutely believe the dating links
Speaker 2: exist and to answer your question, right. Most guys, you
Speaker 2: guys will you date up, right? But I think for
Speaker 2: me in actuality, right?
Speaker 2: I won't have the confidence to get out. I don't
Speaker 2: think
Speaker 1: so.
Speaker 2: II I don't think I will dare to even strike
Speaker 2: up a with a girl you
Speaker 1: have. Do you feel OK, this might be a bit
Speaker 1: of a personal question and I hope it's not too sensitive.
Speaker 1: But do you think you said that you are not
Speaker 1: confident enough? Do you think that you mask that with
Speaker 1: like trying to be funny or like dropping one liners
Speaker 2: 100% all
Speaker 1: the time? Is it really? OK? I wasn't sure that
Speaker 1: was like a sensitive question to ask. I mean,
Speaker 2: everyone's insecure to a certain extent. Right. Right. And, and
Speaker 2: 11 thing that, that my, my company always makes me
Speaker 2: feel insecure about my height. So
Speaker 1: no, but we always say that you are funny and
Speaker 1: and witty,
Speaker 2: hence why I compensate,
Speaker 1: we can give us a witty line and he will
Speaker 1: be like, OK, OK.
Speaker 2: So for me, right? Like if I see someone who
Speaker 2: I perceive as as a bit. Right. I will have
Speaker 2: more confidence to, to approach
Speaker 1: it a bit lower.
Speaker 2: Um,
Speaker 2: oh, it is a bit lower. Ok, let's say, er,
Speaker 2: maybe someone socially is a bit more shy. My safest
Speaker 2: answer I can tell
Speaker 1: you or maybe at a different stage of life, like
Speaker 1: maybe still figuring career out or, I don't know, in
Speaker 1: a place where you kind of figured it
Speaker 2: out, but at my age, if I did someone who
Speaker 2: was still in school, it is a bit questionable. I
Speaker 1: mean, hold on you. Are you OK. When I was
Speaker 1: in uni,
Speaker 1: I did a 30 year old.
Speaker 2: You were like 2021? Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.
Speaker 1: Ok. Ok. Ok. OK. Don't come at me, comment section.
Speaker 1: I'm very scared of you guys. Sometimes I feel
Speaker 2: like if I'm chasing someone who I perceive to be higher, I,
Speaker 2: I over think a lot of things like, ok, guys
Speaker 2: are sending her home already, then I don't drive, then
Speaker 2: guys are buying her things. We, I can afford it.
Speaker 2: I only have my, my personal to, to win you
Speaker 2: over there, but
Speaker 1: personality is the most important. Yeah. Honestly I tell you,
Speaker 1: I would rather date a guy with good personality and
Speaker 1: character than a guy with a Lamborghini like 100% right?
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes they put them in front of the car,
Speaker 1: in front of the car, like such a huge turn
Speaker 1: off and I'm like a
Speaker 2: personality is not,
Speaker 2: is it a first impression thing to you guys or
Speaker 2: looks first? And if you drive a car, you think? Ok,
Speaker 2: this guy?
Speaker 1: No. Ok. The funny thing is actually I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what happened when I first went out with my current partner. Ok.
Speaker 1: So firstly I, OK, I wasn't immediately like, oh, ok,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, I'm gonna date you or like, it wasn't immediate,
Speaker 1: we, we got to know each other like slowly. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I really like, I, I'm a, I'm
Speaker 1: a personality person so I really like if you make
Speaker 1: me laugh or like, we get along really well, we
Speaker 1: can banter and stuff, you know, banter on love. I
Speaker 1: learn what's going on. Ok. No, but the is important,
Speaker 1: like fun. It is important. Yeah, you keep the conversation going,
Speaker 1: you can talk for hours, you can do all kinds
Speaker 1: of things together. Then, er, m, I didn't ask about
Speaker 1: his background or anything. Like, I didn't know much about
Speaker 1: him at all. We went out on a date
Speaker 1: and we went for dinner. So we sat down, we
Speaker 1: ate and then there's a valley service outside because it's
Speaker 1: like one of those parallel parking areas with no parking space.
Speaker 1: So this like, quite ratchet car rolls by. That looks
Speaker 1: like it just got banged up in an accident and
Speaker 1: they patched up the door with like something else, you know,
Speaker 1: like that kind of. So, and then we are sitting
Speaker 1: right at the road near the roadside and he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: that's my car.
Speaker 1: And then I turned around and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was like, it was so cute and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's a cute car and he goes, no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: That's not, I'm just, I'm just joking. Just testing you.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, ok. Was that a test? I
Speaker 1: was like, did I pass? I don't know. But it
Speaker 1: also shows that he is funny. Exactly. I did get
Speaker 1: a good laugh out of it because how he was
Speaker 1: dressed did not match that car at all. And I
Speaker 1: thought it would be hilarious if that was.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And to me that doesn't matter because my whole life, um, even,
Speaker 1: like growing up with my family and I, we've been
Speaker 1: driving like, second-hand cars, like, not branded cars. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's important. I don't think it's important.
Speaker 2: So, what made you agree to give him a chance
Speaker 2: or go on a first date in the first
Speaker 1: place? Um, we, we had so much laughter. We, we
Speaker 1: had so much fun because anyway, this is a long
Speaker 1: story about how we met but
Speaker 1: we, we just really got on very well. So I
Speaker 1: was like, ok, let's, let's, let's try.
Speaker 2: But if he had complete strangers just let us, hey,
Speaker 2: would you like to get dinner sometime? Probably not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm, I'm kind of more of the, I need
Speaker 1: to get to know you a little bit first. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know, conversation is very important to me. So,
Speaker 1: for you, Nadia, you were saying earlier, um, or, or
Speaker 1: rather you haven't answered this, would you rather date up
Speaker 1: or down? Ok. So for me I would rather date up,
Speaker 1: of course.
Speaker 1: Ok. I think it's quite obvious from what I've been saying. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's really that I want to be inspired and I
Speaker 1: want to really look up to someone I want to
Speaker 1: improve as a person.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I feel like I will only listen to
Speaker 1: a guy more if I really think highly of him. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I cannot judging you right now. Hey, no, there
Speaker 1: is no right or wrong in this, right? There's no
Speaker 1: right or wrong. So, have you ever dated someone that
Speaker 1: you felt didn't quite inspire you? I think the inspiration
Speaker 1: part is quite hard
Speaker 1: but at least like for the people I've dated so far,
Speaker 1: I am comfortable with them. Yeah. Like I like talking
Speaker 1: to them. Yeah. But that's why being inspired by someone
Speaker 1: maybe takes,
Speaker 1: it's a whole, it's a, it's a person that you
Speaker 1: can't really find, but I think in the slow day
Speaker 1: to day things then you can be inspired by them
Speaker 1: in the future. I mean, of course there are pros
Speaker 1: and cons of dating, like what is perceived as a
Speaker 1: superior partner. Right. Right. And one of it you mentioned
Speaker 1: is admiration, er, m you know, being mentally, like stimulating
Speaker 1: as well for, I guess the intellectual part of things,
Speaker 1: but the cons, do you feel like there could be
Speaker 1: differing values in some way or you might knock kids
Speaker 1: a little bit? The partner that is not as, not
Speaker 1: at the same level might feel a bit of inequality.
Speaker 1: Do you guys feel like that might be the case?
Speaker 1: I think generally
Speaker 1: for guys, they would rather be the superior or the
Speaker 1: more dominating partner in a relationship. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say for all guys, but it's
Speaker 1: a bit about the ego.
Speaker 2: So if I'm dating someone who lets say looks wise, right?
Speaker 2: It's way above me, right? I insecure every day everywhere
Speaker 2: I walk, right, guys confirm I look her up. Then
Speaker 2: I be like what you guys are into the DM
Speaker 2: and all
Speaker 1: confident like, wow, look this girl, this is my girl
Speaker 1: she chose me
Speaker 2: can break up on, you know, with someone else.
Speaker 1: No. OK. So you, you tend to think that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm quite, quite pessimistic and now that I think
Speaker 2: about it. Oh
Speaker 1: man. OK. I wonder what kind of trauma let you
Speaker 1: hear though? Like, oh no, but
Speaker 2: yellow
Speaker 1: rather other than her looks.
Speaker 2: So to me,
Speaker 2: to me, personality, I, I believe in myself enough of
Speaker 2: a personality. It's just that 1st 1st impression it's a
Speaker 2: bit harder for me perhaps
Speaker 2: because you see the way I dress at work. It's
Speaker 2: not the best that
Speaker 1: can be changed. I mean, that's not difficult. Ok. But
Speaker 1: because our workplace setting is more like a relax, more relaxed. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we don't we wear when I go to the office? Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, like exercise clothes almost like every day, like,
Speaker 1: and shorts. Yeah, similar to, like, superficial thing can be changed.
Speaker 1: Do you
Speaker 2: put guys on the pedestals?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Yeah. In what sense,
Speaker 2: er, let's say in terms of like,
Speaker 1: who's a good catch,
Speaker 2: is it? Yeah. Like he's so much better than me.
Speaker 2: I need to constantly do more, I need to be
Speaker 2: the one that put in more effort in the relationship
Speaker 2: or to chase,
Speaker 1: I think, depends from guy to guy. Ok. If I
Speaker 1: really like a guy, of course, I will put in
Speaker 1: more effort. Ok. But the chasing aspect of it, I
Speaker 1: usually go about doing my own things day to day
Speaker 1: and then I will wait for someone to
Speaker 1: come to me instead. So I try not to think
Speaker 1: too much about it and, uh, maybe just to cite
Speaker 1: a few examples back then because, and I was sharing
Speaker 1: this with my friends too, you know, we don't choose
Speaker 1: what kind of family we are born into or what, um,
Speaker 1: socioeconomic status you are born into. Right.
Speaker 1: So, naturally if you're born into like a higher ses, er, m,
Speaker 1: you might meet people of the same pedigree. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's the right word to use, but for me. Like,
Speaker 1: I am not familiar with a lot of these, these people, ok,
Speaker 1: I'm just a normal person. Go to normal school and
Speaker 1: then as I kind of went into the industry or
Speaker 1: even just like, grew up and met more people through
Speaker 1: friends and all
Speaker 1: this guy asked me out and, uh, I, I don't
Speaker 1: know who he is. Like, he was just like, oh, no.
Speaker 1: Met him at a club. You just asked me out?
Speaker 1: I was like, OK, so I decided to go and
Speaker 1: then my friend was like, oh, who's this person that
Speaker 1: you met at, at that asked you out? I said, oh,
Speaker 1: it's this guy and she's like, oh my God, this
Speaker 1: guy is the son of like some, I don't know, billionaire.
Speaker 1: I don't know what, like some family, some like big family,
Speaker 1: they own some big group and company and all that.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I had no, I had
Speaker 1: no idea. He seemed like just a regular guy. But
Speaker 1: after she put that in my mind and after I
Speaker 1: knew that he was from like a certain family, I
Speaker 1: started to like, feel a little nervous because usually I
Speaker 1: don't really care and I'm comfortable and confident in like
Speaker 1: who I am and my family background. And yeah, we
Speaker 1: grew up in H DB flat, like I'm fine with it.
Speaker 1: But I started to feel subconscious like when he would
Speaker 1: drive his like fancy sports car to drop me off, like,
Speaker 1: at H DB flat. Like I'm wondering like, what is
Speaker 1: he thinking? Is he conscious that I stay? Not in
Speaker 1: a fancy house, like not in a GCB condo. So
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know what I think I
Speaker 1: can't deal and it just didn't really quite work out also.
Speaker 1: I was a bit young and I was just dating
Speaker 1: for fun. So, yeah. But yeah, I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of got into my head and I was also
Speaker 1: younger and more immature at that time.
Speaker 1: I think that's why I rather not know. That's why
Speaker 1: it's good to not know all these things.
Speaker 2: But so dating both league. Sorry to drop you. But
Speaker 2: it's absolutely, you believe it's a thing, I
Speaker 1: believe it's a thing. Subconscious or not. I think it exists.
Speaker 1: I think also when you like, meet their family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you subconsciously like, ok, I have to sit like this.
Speaker 1: Did they eat like this? Yeah, I had another, I see,
Speaker 1: I dated a lot of people, another,
Speaker 1: er, m whose whole family is like doctors and they
Speaker 1: didn't approve of me because I was studying media. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that made me feel like a lower, a lower rung.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Even though I don't think
Speaker 1: that it is necessary but I just felt like smaller suddenly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that the case.
Speaker 2: So, so what do you think then? Like, like, let's
Speaker 2: say a couple is dating Right. And clearly one is
Speaker 2: way above the girl. I leave it up to you.
Speaker 2: How can the couple successfully make it work? Because so
Speaker 2: far everything is about all not working. Right. So,
Speaker 1: I know of a couple and her mom didn't approve
Speaker 1: of their relationship because of their education level. So she's from, like, like,
Speaker 1: school ever. Yeah. She didn't want to listen to her mom.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, wow. Because, like, you are really, really,
Speaker 1: like, smart and like, maybe, like, intellectually he won't be
Speaker 1: on your level. But when I saw how they interact
Speaker 1: and how loving he is and how he's always thinking
Speaker 1: of her and that love that you see in the couple,
Speaker 1: I think, like, no matter the education level or whatever,
Speaker 1: financial background or whatever, like, I think all those things
Speaker 1: can be, like, thrown out the window, like, it's really
Speaker 1: personality and
Speaker 1: that, that loving heart, the heart is the most important.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's very important to find someone that makes
Speaker 1: you laugh and cares for you and loves you. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you agree? You were going to chime in? Sorry.
Speaker 1: I also asked
Speaker 2: whether the guy is a bum or not. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, he's not, he's not a bum but he's not
Speaker 1: like a super, like, financially savvy. Yeah. Actually, likewise, I mean,
Speaker 1: just to draw a reference to my own current relationship
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 1: Er, he's very successful in finance funny enough and I'm
Speaker 1: so shit at, I just cannot creative people to count
Speaker 1: to paper and like, I don't know, your account is
Speaker 1: a thing. OK. Um He's also from like ac you know,
Speaker 1: different background, different background. Grew up in a very nice neighborhood,
Speaker 1: total opposite, you know, of me. Not that my neighborhood
Speaker 1: was a nice, it was great, it was great.
Speaker 1: But I think it's also about upbringing because he wasn't
Speaker 1: the typical kind of guy that I think in my
Speaker 1: mind like, oh, ac a, you know, that kind of
Speaker 1: you have the stereotype, right? But he busted that stereotype.
Speaker 1: He was like, totally different. And I really think that
Speaker 1: sometimes it comes down to also how the family taught
Speaker 1: their kids, I guess growing up, you know, um, how
Speaker 1: you should treat people, get to know people, not judge
Speaker 1: people based on just face back.
Speaker 1: True. True. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2: So, actually, have you ever asked him when, when he,
Speaker 2: when you started dating? Right? Did he think of you as,
Speaker 2: as above his league or below?
Speaker 1: Good question. I've never actually asked if he thought I
Speaker 1: was above his. He wouldn't ask me out, right? Or
Speaker 1: would he based based
Speaker 2: on my logic as a guy? I won't, but I
Speaker 2: don't know whether for him.
Speaker 1: Ok. You know what, let me ask him now.
Speaker 1: That is a very good question. Should I call him
Speaker 1: now and ask him? Oh, do it. Oh my God. Ok. Ok.
Speaker 1: Please be free. It should be lunch time. Is it? Ok.
Speaker 1: Let's try. Let's try, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 2: wait, if you want to find out whether so is
Speaker 2: above or below, right. Subscribe to find out now.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, no.
Speaker 1: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Speaker 1: Ok. Wow, that's ringing. Let me message him.
Speaker 1: I'm not like, 000, hey, are you free?
Speaker 1: I'm having a lunch, lunch. Ok. I have one minute,
Speaker 1: just one minute of your time. So the question is
Speaker 1: when you first asked me out, do you think that
Speaker 1: I was above or below your league? Maybe,
Speaker 1: maybe highly above
Speaker 1: why? In what way?
Speaker 1: I mean, you are like a celebrity, right? And I'm
Speaker 1: just a normal guy.
Speaker 1: Ok. But, but, but background wise, you know, you are
Speaker 1: more financially stable, you're more like experienced, right? So it
Speaker 1: was just because of that that you felt I was
Speaker 1: above your league.
Speaker 1: Uh Yeah, and you are, you know, pretty hot.
Speaker 1: Ok, by the way, there's like 20 people sitting in
Speaker 1: front of me and you're on speaker. Thanks for answering.
Speaker 1: Let me know.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you. You always make our episode. Great. Thanks. Ok,
Speaker 1: go back to your lunch for my. Ok, so now
Speaker 1: thank you for asking that question. I never actually asked him.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so there, there you go. Ok, so even
Speaker 1: if you think that someone is above your need, you
Speaker 1: can still ask them out because their perspective might be otherwise. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes guys are, like, just go for it like a
Speaker 1: one time, you know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't, it's ok. At least I tried. Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker 2: Rather regret. Regret. Not.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Right. Yeah, we should end on that note. That's
Speaker 1: a great thing to print on a t-shirt or something.
Speaker 2: You learned more today. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: are. You too. You too. Hopefully everyone learn a little
Speaker 1: bit more. Ok. So to end off does being in
Speaker 1: the same league even matter at the end of the
Speaker 1: day after all this discussion, does it even matter?
Speaker 2: Not after the phone call?
Speaker 1: Thank you for giving us the confidence for giving men
Speaker 1: the confidence. So now Sean, you can go all out,
Speaker 1: go all out
Speaker 2: inspiration. He inspires me like how not expect guys to
Speaker 2: inspire her, right?
Speaker 2: Ok. Yeah, I believe, I believe it doesn't matter as
Speaker 2: much a bit more. Now,
Speaker 1: I think she's got to get, get your head out
Speaker 1: of it sometimes and not overthink it maybe. So all
Speaker 1: the best. Let me know. I will love, I'm very invested.
Speaker 1: I want to keep updated with your dating life or,
Speaker 1: you know, I
Speaker 2: have one final question for you before we end things.
Speaker 1: Oh, no. Is this,
Speaker 2: do you think that is above or below my data?
Speaker 1: Oh my God.
Speaker 1: Oh,
Speaker 1: do that
Speaker 1: actually, I think, I think that you are very compatible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people, I think that you
Speaker 1: balance each other out. Yeah. And you obviously make her laugh. Oh, no, no,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 1: Is it true? He does sometimes, but I would say
Speaker 1: he's very funny. He's funny to get more than every Singaporean.
Speaker 2: I'm not driven enough for you. LA
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Driving her crazy. That's it. That's the only way. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening to this episode of men. Explain.
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed it, please hit the follow button. We
Speaker 1: are on Spotify Apple podcast and me listen and for
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Speaker 2: content like this, follow its clarity dot co on Instagram
Speaker 2: and tiktok.
Speaker 1: Ya see ya
Speaker 1: a
Speaker 2: you.