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Speaker 1: Hey hazel zero and I'm Jermaine and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: another episode of calamities. She podcasts. So today's episode is

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Speaker 1: very exciting because it's a continuation of what we discussed

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Speaker 1: last time, a work life balance in Korea, who better

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Speaker 1: to tell us that the co founder of La bonito Rachel,

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Speaker 1: Hi

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Speaker 2: everyone, thank you for having me really excited to be

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Speaker 2: here with all of you and really loving the energy here,

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Speaker 2: soaking all of that up. So if there's anything at all,

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Speaker 2: please just ask me, I'm happy to share everything, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna hear some higher. First and foremost, I need

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Speaker 1: to say something on behalf of my co host, Missouri,

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Speaker 1: she whispered to me just now, I really love her

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Speaker 1: pets and they love for you. But of course, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: actually the

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Speaker 2: interesting thing you brought up pence, right? I think that's

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Speaker 2: a little back story if I may just Sure sure,

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Speaker 2: yeah, because you know when I first was in school, right,

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Speaker 2: fresh out of school and was looking for a pair

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Speaker 2: of pants, I also realized that hey, a lot of

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Speaker 2: the pants don't fit me. I thought it was because

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Speaker 2: you know, I have bigger hips or I'm too short.

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Speaker 2: And it wasn't until we decided to create our own

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Speaker 2: pens that I realized that oh my God, a lot

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Speaker 2: of international brands actually create primarily for the european american

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Speaker 2: women that have very different body proportions than us, right?

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Speaker 2: I mean I highly recommend you know for you to

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Speaker 2: try our pants because they created, especially

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Speaker 2: by real women for other real women, so

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Speaker 1: founder is amazing but I mean like I'm sure we've

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Speaker 1: all tried a lot of bonito close before and we

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Speaker 1: remember when

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Speaker 1: we remember when it was bonito Chico oh because when

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Speaker 1: I

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Speaker 2: Started, when I started bonito so I was already like 17,

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Speaker 2: 18 so I can't imagine

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Speaker 1: You were 17 years old. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so that's what bonito Chico right?

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Speaker 2: So that's why we, our age gap is Okay

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Speaker 1: wait

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Speaker 2: a second. Okay so there was a live general platform

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Speaker 2: yeah

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Speaker 1: way back when they were modeling themselves, you are right.

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Speaker 1: I was hoping that no one will notice that but

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Speaker 2: yes you are right and it was

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Speaker 1: everything like a fun kind of thing and it was

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Speaker 2: more of a passion project where we really wanted to

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Speaker 2: sell our pre loved clothes online for extra pocket money,

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Speaker 2: how it really started

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Speaker 2: and then after a while we ran out of course

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Speaker 2: to sell but you know people keep coming back for more.

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Speaker 2: So we thought why don't we use the money that

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Speaker 2: we had saved to go overseas like Bangkok and Hong

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Speaker 2: kong to import close to sell during weekends or school

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Speaker 2: term break. But while doing that I've always realized that

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Speaker 2: there was always something with the quality to fit the design,

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Speaker 2: the color, the detail that I wanted to change, right?

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Speaker 2: So

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Speaker 2: in my final year of university with no fashion, no

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Speaker 2: business background decided to drop out of school to cause

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Speaker 2: that love bonito really with the intention of you know,

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Speaker 2: understanding the needs of real women out there, especially in

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Speaker 2: our part of the world Asia Asia.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that was how we started. That's why we

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Speaker 2: always say we're a bunch of real women creating for

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Speaker 2: real women ourselves, where

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Speaker 2: we really understand the needs, the concerns, the pinpoint, and

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Speaker 2: more importantly, we wanted it to be accessible, right friendly.

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Speaker 2: We believe that a great outfit first and foremost should

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Speaker 2: not burn a hole in the pocket. And secondly, a

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Speaker 2: great outfit really has the power to make you feel

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Speaker 2: better about yourself and you know, and how you conquer

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Speaker 2: your

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Speaker 1: day. I really love that, you know, it's been so

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Speaker 1: many years and you guys still stay true to all

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Speaker 1: of that and I feel like I'm in the presence

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Speaker 1: of a star, you guys know what age 28 Rachel

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Speaker 1: was on Forbes 30 under 30 sorry I had across

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Speaker 1: 30 what am I doing,

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Speaker 2: please? I really just think it's a matter also of

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Speaker 2: timing and I think everyone's path is different,

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Speaker 2: which is why this journey is also also personal to me, right?

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Speaker 2: I think

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Speaker 2: for me it's been a journey of really discovering who

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Speaker 2: I am, who I am not, you know, not trying

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Speaker 2: to fit into what society wants me to be. Uh

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Speaker 2: and then really embracing all of myself, my strengths, my weaknesses,

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Speaker 2: which I have a lot of and really just partnering

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Speaker 2: up and working with people much smarter than me in

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Speaker 2: different areas and being secure in that, being secure in

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Speaker 2: who I am

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Speaker 2: and just running my own race I think especially with

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Speaker 2: social media, there's a lot of pressure. There's a lot

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Speaker 2: of comparison and a lot of the times I find

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Speaker 2: myself questioning myself especially in the past, right? Like why

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Speaker 2: am I not like that? Why is my journey not

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Speaker 2: like that? Why the success not look for me like that?

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Speaker 2: Why

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Speaker 2: do I even down to looks requirement? Why don't I

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Speaker 2: look like her and things like that? You're

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Speaker 1: beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you. But it

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Speaker 2: was a journey also, you know, like to get them

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Speaker 2: embracing myself and all of that. So yeah, that's why

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Speaker 2: I truly believe that all of us have a different

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Speaker 2: path to success at the end of the day

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Speaker 1: And at the end of 2020 actually have a whole

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Speaker 1: new role in life

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Speaker 1: being a first time mom. Uh congratulations new season. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: He was little. He doing,

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Speaker 2: he's great. I think at this age now I think

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Speaker 2: you know, other moms can tell you them and they're

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Speaker 2: always telling me to enjoy this moment because he can

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Speaker 2: run and walk it. So I'm not having a hard

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Speaker 2: time at his age is meant to be able, but

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Speaker 2: he hasn't. Yeah. So I'm trying not to, you know,

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Speaker 2: be to pressure its

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Speaker 1: tiny everything

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Speaker 2: myself that, you know, everyone has a different path, right? Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean right now I'm just enjoying being

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Speaker 2: able to be with him as much as I can,

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Speaker 2: especially during this, you know, special um new normal, right?

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Speaker 2: Working from home uh not being able to travel especially

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Speaker 2: for work, but it's so

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Speaker 1: commendable that you are running a multimillion dollar business and

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Speaker 1: you know, you have a you have the best of

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Speaker 1: both worlds, you've got a kid and all that as well.

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Speaker 1: Does it take a toll on you some days?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it really takes a village whether is

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Speaker 2: it to you know, run a business or you know,

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Speaker 2: take care of a family. So at home too, I

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Speaker 2: really have great help to take care of ali so

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Speaker 2: I can focus and work and that work of course

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Speaker 2: I have a great team, you know, so that at

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Speaker 2: home I can focus on ali and my family. So

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Speaker 2: yeah, it really takes a village, I think

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Speaker 1: a good support system is very important

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Speaker 2: and being able to let go. I think that it's

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Speaker 2: also key

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Speaker 1: for sure and I think you know, when it comes

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Speaker 1: to this day and age a lot of women like

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Speaker 1: for example, hazy, you know, hes he has mentioned before

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Speaker 1: that she would choose her career over a relationship or

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Speaker 1: family at this time then some women, you know are

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Speaker 1: opting to have Children later, some earlier I think there's

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Speaker 1: every kind of women out

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Speaker 2: there and that's not right or wrong. Exactly. I really

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Speaker 2: do think it's a choice, right? Because all of us

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Speaker 2: go through different seasons and there was a period, I

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Speaker 2: really felt exactly like hazy, right. I was honestly,

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Speaker 2: I put off having a child for a while because

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Speaker 2: I was afraid that, you know, like having a child, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't commit as much as I wanted to and

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Speaker 2: you know, it might cause me to take a back

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Speaker 2: seat at work and I felt I felt anxiety like

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Speaker 2: what's going to happen, you know, things like that, but

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Speaker 2: I guess don't be pressured unnecessarily by society or, you know,

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Speaker 2: people around us. I think it's important to

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Speaker 2: um, take time to, you know, be attuned to your

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Speaker 2: inner desires, your inner goals, your inner values and then yeah,

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Speaker 2: they stick to it,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think that's exactly where I'm at with,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're thinking of having a kid, but you

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Speaker 1: don't really know if I'm married by the way? So, um,

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Speaker 1: it's always been one of my mind, like, can I

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Speaker 1: put it off later, Should I put it off later?

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Speaker 1: Is it going to affect anything if I do it now?

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Speaker 1: And you know, seeing you right now because

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Speaker 1: you had your kid last year, was there any like considerations,

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Speaker 1: you know, did you plan that?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I was gonna do this and this first and

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Speaker 1: then this will come or how do you eventually decide that,

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Speaker 1: you know what, this is the time that nothing else.

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Speaker 1: You know, I can let go of other things and

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Speaker 1: you know, just take this role or now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question. And for me, I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of things have to come into play, right? Firstly.

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Speaker 2: I also learned that you know, um as much as

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Speaker 2: we want to plan our lives, you know, a lot

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Speaker 2: of times

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Speaker 2: no one could have predicted, for example, covid to happen,

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Speaker 2: it was truly disrupted everything even for myself, right? Oh

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Speaker 2: my plans went out the window and you pivot and readjust,

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Speaker 2: I do feel that the goalpost will always get further

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Speaker 2: and you know, the more I put off having a kid,

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Speaker 2: I think I might end up, you know, just for

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Speaker 2: me personally, I feel that I might end up regretting

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Speaker 2: one day. So I felt that I was at this

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Speaker 2: stage in life in my life last year where I

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Speaker 2: was ready to

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Speaker 2: take that leap of faith, which was, I must say

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Speaker 2: pretty scary because as much as I read that research

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Speaker 2: spoke to people, I think you can never truly prepare

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Speaker 2: yourself for it, but I think that comforted me was

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Speaker 2: always knowing that you know there is no perfect time

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Speaker 2: and as long as you know, I have 70% of

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Speaker 2: everything prepared in a sense where the team is more

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Speaker 2: or less ready, you know, I feel at home, you

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Speaker 2: know we are stable enough, my husband and I at

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Speaker 2: the

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Speaker 2: good stage of our relationship, marriage and relationship where we

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Speaker 2: are ready to commit to having a kid together, we

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Speaker 2: don't know exactly how it would pan out, but we

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Speaker 2: are ready to take that leap of faith to try.

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Speaker 2: So I think things like that really requires a lot

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Speaker 2: of conversations with different stakeholders, what is it your team,

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Speaker 2: I don't

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Speaker 1: owe, you might call it your baby

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Speaker 2: daddy, baby partner. Yeah, so yes, definitely with your partner

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Speaker 2: and of course, you know at work, right? I think

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Speaker 2: for myself it was through, you know, the leadership in

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Speaker 2: the team, that's

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Speaker 1: amazing and I don't know about you, but you know,

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Speaker 1: for me right, I always had this idealistic thought in

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Speaker 1: my head that you know, when I finally cross that

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Speaker 1: bridge and do that the whole motherhood thing that I

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Speaker 1: would be able to

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Speaker 1: not let go of what I have right now and

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Speaker 1: still do, that I would still be able to, you know,

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Speaker 1: do whatever I want and not have my life revolved

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Speaker 1: around the kids but have the kid's life, you know

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Speaker 1: involved in mind, so that's the idealistic view that I have,

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Speaker 1: but it's not

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Speaker 2: impossible, I do think and and that's a great point, right?

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Speaker 2: But I I do feel that there are certain values

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Speaker 2: that we hold true to all, like you call them

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Speaker 2: ideals that we hold true to that I think as

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Speaker 2: long as we are not to

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Speaker 2: emotionally attached to them like you lose sense of the

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Speaker 2: bigger picture at the end of the day, right? I

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Speaker 2: do think as long as you keep that in mind

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Speaker 2: and understanding that it's continuously evolving and progressing towards that

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Speaker 2: maybe being two steps ahead of you in this journey, right?

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Speaker 2: I can share that. Um

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Speaker 2: you will surprise yourself in terms of after having a kid.

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Speaker 2: I also realize you know what's really important in life,

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Speaker 2: which is actually quite different from what I thought previously.

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Speaker 2: You will surprise yourself with your capabilities and and just

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Speaker 2: you know how much you're able to take on how

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Speaker 2: much you're able to prioritize and be productive at the

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Speaker 2: time that you have. Right.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think it's interesting that you know, Zora brought

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Speaker 1: up this anxiety of hers where you're thinking, you know,

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Speaker 1: when do am I ready to be a mother? Am

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Speaker 1: I willing to give up parts of my career?

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Speaker 1: Do we have to? I think a woman's role has

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Speaker 1: changed so much in society these days. We go out there,

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Speaker 1: we get what we want. So my question is can

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Speaker 1: women have it all 123? No, I it depends. I

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Speaker 1: think

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Speaker 2: right, can women have it, you know, maybe you guys

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Speaker 2: should chef us?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I think even after marriage and keep my

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Speaker 1: career can take a back seat but I can just

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Speaker 1: not let go of it fully so I can still

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Speaker 1: be in charge of both sides, you know,

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Speaker 1: So that to me is having it all okay granted

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Speaker 1: the amount of commitment I have will have to decrease,

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Speaker 1: but I can still be involved, you know what I mean? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I agree. Hazy where you know the parts

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Speaker 1: of the things that you do because you have to

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Speaker 1: spread yourself slightly thinner

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Speaker 1: so it might not be like a full here and

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Speaker 1: a full there, but you can still do a little

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Speaker 1: bit of this and that for me, you know, they

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Speaker 1: have that

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Speaker 1: triangle. Yes. Where you know, it's social work and sleep.

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Speaker 1: And for me that's what

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Speaker 2: gen z triangle is a triangle,

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Speaker 1: right? So at each point is social life work and sleep.

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Speaker 1: You can only choose to what would you choose

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Speaker 1: with your continue? So you just sit down. I'm learning

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Speaker 1: so much for me. I think they would know this,

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Speaker 1: but for me the first to go asleep.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like I would forgo that to have

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Speaker 1: everything else Social

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Speaker 2: life work before you have a kid. Yeah, you have

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Speaker 2: a

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Speaker 1: Kid becomes a square, right? Yeah. I think the same sentiments. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: I but the thing is that my worry is you

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Speaker 1: only have 24 hours in a day. You cannot

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Speaker 1: think on everything. Something has to give.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not willing to give it up. I still

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Speaker 1: want it all with a kid is that what you say,

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Speaker 1: it's not possible Rachel, it's possible,

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Speaker 2: like I said, I should, we all go through different

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Speaker 2: seasons and I do think that

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Speaker 2: we can't have it all at once, but maybe at

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Speaker 2: the end of your life, you realize that yes, you

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Speaker 2: have it all, you have a great

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Speaker 2: career, you have a great family, you have great relationships,

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Speaker 2: you have great sleep rest, which is very important by

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Speaker 2: the way. So, but what I'm also trying to say

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Speaker 2: is that, and this is what my mentor taught me,

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Speaker 2: right about the analogy about glass balls and rubber balls,

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Speaker 2: we only have, like you say, limited amount of whether

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Speaker 2: it's energy and time, right? And you can only juggle.

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Speaker 2: So the amount of things, right? Um well to be

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Speaker 2: able to juggle well, and there are some seasons in

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Speaker 2: your life, certain aspects are made of glass where you

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Speaker 2: cannot afford to drop because once you drop the shatter

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Speaker 2: and it's hard to piece them back together. But

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Speaker 2: in certain seasons there are rubber balls where you can't

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Speaker 2: afford to drop

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Speaker 2: momentary or temporarily, because you know that even if you

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Speaker 2: drop it, it'll bounce back. And for me, maybe at

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Speaker 2: this season, it is, for example, parts of my work

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Speaker 2: and career, right, where, you know, you also leave it

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Speaker 2: to the team that you brought in was smaller than

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Speaker 2: you to also run in that sense. So

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Speaker 2: being able to determine and recognize what are your glass

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Speaker 2: balls and rubber balls in the different seasons and even

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Speaker 2: though y'all might be in the same life stick, it

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Speaker 2: may look very differently for you and there's no right

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Speaker 2: or wrong. And I think

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Speaker 2: what

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Speaker 2: success would be is really in recognizing what it is

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Speaker 2: and being willing to let the rubber ball dropped for

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Speaker 2: a bit and then pick it up later. But what's

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Speaker 2: most important is not to compromise on the glass balls. Right?

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Speaker 2: Which ones, you know,

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Speaker 2: once you let it go well, it might not, it

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Speaker 2: might never be the same again. Yeah, I'm learning

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Speaker 1: so much. Yes.

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Speaker 2: Remember I also learned

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Speaker 1: that analogy is

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Speaker 2: the first time I've heard of this, I'm a

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Speaker 1: baby is a glass ball, right? It's the biggest day

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Speaker 1: of your life.

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Speaker 2: Okay to be honest, for a period, um

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Speaker 2: especially in the, in the newborn stage where also I

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Speaker 2: felt that I was trying to adjust to this new

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Speaker 2: role and everything by the way, when the baby is born,

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Speaker 2: the mother is also born, right? And for me that

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Speaker 2: was powerful because it's the first time in my life

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Speaker 2: where I feel that I haven't

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Speaker 2: a lifelong responsibility that you know, and and like you say, yes,

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Speaker 2: it's a glass ball forever. But I think in different seasons,

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Speaker 2: um during that period, right? I think also for me

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Speaker 2: to settle into myself as and and really take care

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Speaker 2: of myself in a sense because if I don't

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Speaker 2: take care of myself and I'm not well it's like

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Speaker 2: what they always say about the oxygen mask, right?

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Speaker 2: You have to put it on first before you put

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Speaker 2: it on for the person beside you, whether your child,

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Speaker 2: your husband, your mom absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Like when you're a mother, you still have to take

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Speaker 1: care of yourself first. It doesn't mean that your whole

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Speaker 1: life is for your child. And I think that's why

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Speaker 1: a lot of new mothers struggle as

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Speaker 2: well. And always recognizing that this is a marathon, not

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Speaker 2: a sprint, right? I think I really need to keep

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Speaker 2: giving

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Speaker 2: throughout the lifestyle is not just for the first three

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Speaker 2: months and that's it. Right? So I think that's why

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Speaker 2: you have to keep taking care of yourself and feeling

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Speaker 2: your own tank and then feeling the tank of you

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Speaker 2: know you and your husband because a lot of times yeah,

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Speaker 2: when when you talk to other friends or hear stories

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Speaker 2: that actually the marriage suffer which by the way I

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Speaker 2: saw a glimpse of that, right? Because you are all

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Speaker 2: just so busy trying to take care of the newborn,

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Speaker 2: adjusting to the new born and

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Speaker 2: you know being frustrated at each other because this is

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Speaker 2: so new for both of us as well. So

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Speaker 2: yeah, recognizing what things that you can't drop. I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad that we are having this conversation now that we

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Speaker 1: know what is in our future and what to expect.

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Speaker 1: but for right now I think we're at such different

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Speaker 1: stages of our life, hazel is probably single. Yeah, are

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Speaker 1: you ready to mingle? Honestly not really, it's okay. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm not ready for that yet, I'm still putting

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Speaker 1: career first, but if I want to ask

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Speaker 2: you Hazy,

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Speaker 1: who who are you, how would you describe yourself? I

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Speaker 1: am a radio DJ am someone who loves to socialize.

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Speaker 1: I am a daughter, a sister and hopefully a good

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Speaker 2: friend. Yeah, that's good because I actually, I do have

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Speaker 2: a lot of friends around me and you know that

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Speaker 2: I also watch

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Speaker 2: uh are very successful by the way now in their

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Speaker 2: careers that were like you also you know very young,

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Speaker 2: they give everything and there's no right or wrong, it's

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Speaker 2: just a matter of choice and now they're you know,

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Speaker 2: now they're trying to devote part of their time of course,

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Speaker 2: to other parts of their life while still excelling in

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Speaker 2: their career. So I have really seen that side of

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Speaker 2: success in that and also the other side where you

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Speaker 2: know sometimes

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Speaker 1: where they feel

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Speaker 2: so void where

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Speaker 2: the identity is just tied to their career, you know,

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Speaker 2: which Yeah, which is just something

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Speaker 1: that, you know, we just create your answer or social

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Speaker 1: is that, you know, you're beyond your career and I

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Speaker 1: try to get over, it's a little background story, I

396
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Speaker 1: just broke up, like the start of this year, start

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Speaker 1: of 2021

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Speaker 1: um so this year has really been like different for me, right?

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Speaker 1: And I have so much time to focus on my

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Speaker 1: career and it's never

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Speaker 1: been like that before, so well I can, I want

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Speaker 1: to give it my all, but I don't exclude the

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Speaker 1: possibility of meeting someone else talking to other people. I

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Speaker 1: think it's very, very important as well. That's

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Speaker 2: great. I think, yeah, we see where we go through

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Speaker 2: different seasons, expositions in life, it's a choice at the

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Speaker 2: end of the day, you

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Speaker 1: and I think he's, he recognizes that

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Speaker 1: in the end. Like if you do get married or

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Speaker 1: you have a child, your priorities will change and you're

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Speaker 1: okay with that. Yeah, yeah, for sure my career would

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Speaker 1: take a back seat. I will not let it go,

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Speaker 1: but it will take a back seat and a rubber

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Speaker 1: ball for that season. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And then my

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Speaker 1: family will become a glass ball. I

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Speaker 2: see,

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Speaker 1: wow. So for Zura who is married, you mentioned a

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Speaker 1: couple of love to remind you about that, I

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Speaker 2: know

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Speaker 1: that she's married,

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Speaker 1: so doesn't forget. So you mentioned that when it comes

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Speaker 1: to having kids, if it happens, it happens, right.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that your career is sort of holding

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Speaker 1: you back from having a kid now or what is it?

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Speaker 1: I think it's this sort of at the back of

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Speaker 1: your mind, you feel like I'm only in my twenties

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Speaker 1: once and it constantly feels like you are sort of

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Speaker 1: in your prime

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Speaker 1: and you lose it now or if this becomes your

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Speaker 1: rubber ball now that you never have this again. That's

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Speaker 1: what it feels like for me. But I understand I

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Speaker 1: see it now because I've been married two years now

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Speaker 1: and when I got married, I said, okay, I'm gonna,

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Speaker 1: you know, hold off having a kid for two years.

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Speaker 1: But now that I'm at 2.5, I'm like, maybe I

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Speaker 1: need to so I recognize now the goalpost

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Speaker 2: keeps moving from.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, it keeps moving further and I recognize that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm at 27 that I think, you know, two years ago,

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Speaker 1: I thought was right now, I think I'm right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you

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Speaker 2: My husband is 40 year. He thinks he's at his prime.

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Speaker 2: There is no there is no there is no right

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Speaker 2: or wrong.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm translating your forever thing that you're right. Yeah,

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00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,220
Speaker 1: that's right. And that's good because you will cover yourself

447
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Speaker 1: because you always think that you read it. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I think that whenever you have a child, whenever you

449
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,130
Speaker 1: will make a great

450
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 2: mom, you will. Yes, well,

451
00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:38,270
Speaker 1: we'll make great God mom, definitely.

452
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 1: I think mostly for myself, I've been in a long

453
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,050
Speaker 1: term relationship for many, many years, we're just waiting for

454
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,770
Speaker 1: the ring now. Huh?

455
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:50,850
Speaker 1: It's okay. I don't think it's OK. It's OK. But

456
00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 1: next episode when I was younger, I don't know if

457
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,470
Speaker 1: you guys had this idea. So when you were growing up,

458
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,340
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, 25 I'm going to get married. 26.

459
00:19:58,340 --> 00:20:00,550
Speaker 1: I had my first child. 28. Come on,

460
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:03,100
Speaker 2: please. When I was, when I was younger, I thought

461
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:05,750
Speaker 2: that the H in now, which is, I think 34

462
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 2: by one of the uh ancient is like, really? Oh,

463
00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:12,100
Speaker 2: but now I'm 35 now. Oh my God, I haven't

464
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 2: reached my peak. I'm, you know,

465
00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:14,730
Speaker 1: I'm

466
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:18,260
Speaker 2: doing my prime. So it's really different, right?

467
00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:20,959
Speaker 1: So, like the plants just went out the window

468
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,330
Speaker 1: and at this age, I realized, what am I planning for?

469
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 1: Just live life when I'm ready, I'm ready. You know,

470
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 1: I at this point in my life, I can't imagine

471
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,850
Speaker 1: being a mother if let's say a touch with that show.

472
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:36,230
Speaker 1: Oh my God, everybody, But for me, it's a good thing. Yeah,

473
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,230
Speaker 1: that's a good thing. If I'm surprised with the baby. Yeah,

474
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,650
Speaker 1: I would. Of course I don't I think I would

475
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:45,180
Speaker 1: be able to, you know, settle into that role, you know?

476
00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:47,290
Speaker 1: But by choice,

477
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't

478
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,260
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to choose being a mom right now.

479
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 1: Okay, not bad to say exactly what if he proposes now,

480
00:20:53,970 --> 00:20:57,180
Speaker 1: you guys get married in 2022 you find yourself with

481
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:59,770
Speaker 1: a baby in 2022 would you be ready for that

482
00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:05,330
Speaker 1: next year? Just one month away from the point of

483
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,750
Speaker 1: recording is one month away. But you know, actually, you

484
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:10,590
Speaker 1: know what my grand plan is, it's to get engaged,

485
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,669
Speaker 1: have a kid

486
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,930
Speaker 1: and then when the kid can walk down the aisle

487
00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:20,729
Speaker 1: when we get married, Wait, is that his plan? Also?

488
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:24,650
Speaker 1: I think he's okay. Ring is ready, The ring is ready,

489
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:35,510
Speaker 1: waiting for what is the weight for weight eventually? You

490
00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 1: know when I do become a mom, I really hope

491
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,350
Speaker 1: that I'll be able to juggle

492
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,570
Speaker 1: the different aspects of my life. Yeah,

493
00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:42,350
Speaker 2: I'm sure you will. You have you will need a

494
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:46,010
Speaker 2: very strong support system through your girlfriends, your family and

495
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 2: your team. Yeah, for

496
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,430
Speaker 1: sure, for sure. Not for Rachel, I mean you have,

497
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 1: you know, basically I feel like you have the best

498
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,740
Speaker 1: in life right now. Do you feel that way? Wait,

499
00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:59,870
Speaker 1: what do you mean? Like you've got a successful Korea Yeah. Family.

500
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,490
Speaker 2: Okay. Wait, but it's different but I do, I am

501
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:05,459
Speaker 2: very grateful for what I have in life, which I

502
00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 2: have worked very hard for and also have had to

503
00:22:09,140 --> 00:22:11,530
Speaker 2: overcome a lot for are there any

504
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,989
Speaker 1: regrets in your life right now? Well

505
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,570
Speaker 2: I guess for me, I always look at them as

506
00:22:16,570 --> 00:22:18,970
Speaker 2: lessons that a lot of lessons I've learned a lot

507
00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 2: of mistakes that I've made in my journey that I

508
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,890
Speaker 2: have learned and people always say that, you know, we

509
00:22:23,890 --> 00:22:26,540
Speaker 2: learn from experiences but I really don't think so. I

510
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:31,020
Speaker 2: think we only learn from reflected experiences. That means in

511
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:33,050
Speaker 2: really taking the time to sit down

512
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,990
Speaker 2: and be honest with yourself and be brutally honest about

513
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,270
Speaker 2: what happened? Why do you feel a certain way? You

514
00:22:38,270 --> 00:22:41,409
Speaker 2: know what what what what what truly caused that you

515
00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:43,420
Speaker 2: know and and it's something that you can learn and

516
00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:46,669
Speaker 2: improve from, it's like, you know, in my life for example,

517
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,929
Speaker 2: I believe that two persons can go through the same

518
00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: challenge or event or failure or mistake, but why is

519
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,859
Speaker 2: it someone would come about

520
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:58,939
Speaker 2: um defeat, depressed and victimizing themselves or the and the

521
00:22:58,940 --> 00:23:00,129
Speaker 2: other person can come out

522
00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:01,460
Speaker 1: feeling like he or she can do better

523
00:23:01,470 --> 00:23:04,170
Speaker 2: Exactly like, you know, even though it's a mistake, it's

524
00:23:04,170 --> 00:23:07,070
Speaker 2: a failure but you feel proud of yourself and what

525
00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 2: you've overcome, you feel more confident and you know, and

526
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,860
Speaker 2: and stronger in that sense. So yeah, I think taking

527
00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:13,770
Speaker 2: the time to reflect

528
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,619
Speaker 2: has also really made me I guess who I am

529
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:20,139
Speaker 2: in a sense where I feel I'm a lot stronger

530
00:23:20,140 --> 00:23:23,869
Speaker 2: mentally emotionally to do to take a more challenges. Although

531
00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:26,660
Speaker 2: I don't hope for more challenges, but but yes, in

532
00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:27,590
Speaker 2: a sense, yeah,

533
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 1: for sure. Would you have done anything differently or would

534
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,030
Speaker 1: you have advice to, you know, people who are going

535
00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:34,540
Speaker 1: through the same situation as you, I

536
00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:37,060
Speaker 2: would actually say that I wish that I wish I

537
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,770
Speaker 2: had taken the time to

538
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:43,460
Speaker 2: discover and know more about myself earlier and that's in

539
00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:47,540
Speaker 2: the form of being conscious of you know, what drives me,

540
00:23:47,540 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 2: what makes me happy, What would I feel excited doing

541
00:23:50,290 --> 00:23:52,750
Speaker 2: all over again and again again, even though I'm so

542
00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:55,580
Speaker 2: dead tired, you know? And also on the converse side, right,

543
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 2: what would drain me right? And things like that? Because

544
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,490
Speaker 2: these are important things to know and notice about yourself

545
00:24:00,490 --> 00:24:02,699
Speaker 2: because it will determine the next steps are part that

546
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:04,669
Speaker 2: you take. It will determine also the people that you

547
00:24:04,670 --> 00:24:05,859
Speaker 2: surround yourself with

548
00:24:05,940 --> 00:24:08,300
Speaker 2: to complement you. The other thing is also to be

549
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:11,020
Speaker 2: secure in who I am and who I'm not. And

550
00:24:11,020 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 2: a lot of the times it may come through feedback

551
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,850
Speaker 2: from people that you have to intentionally seek out. Or

552
00:24:16,850 --> 00:24:19,899
Speaker 2: you'll be pay attention to the feedback that you get

553
00:24:19,910 --> 00:24:23,670
Speaker 2: also through personality test, which helped me along, you know, 16,

554
00:24:24,220 --> 00:24:28,109
Speaker 2: My experience strength finder. Things that they really helped me

555
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,510
Speaker 2: in the sense that Oh, so this is oh, this

556
00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,330
Speaker 2: is why I'm like that. This is why I was

557
00:24:32,330 --> 00:24:35,390
Speaker 2: wired like that. You know, This is why I frustrate

558
00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:38,010
Speaker 2: certain people or this is why certain people frustrate me.

559
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,060
Speaker 2: It's not because

560
00:24:39,340 --> 00:24:41,429
Speaker 2: it's a personal thing, but it's just because we are

561
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 2: all actually wired differently. And it helps you understand yourself

562
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: a lot more and helps you also understand others a

563
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 2: lot more, right?

564
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 2: And I think that has been key for me also

565
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,110
Speaker 2: in really than doubling down on my strength. What can

566
00:24:54,109 --> 00:24:56,370
Speaker 2: I bring to the table that will really, truly make

567
00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:58,550
Speaker 2: a difference. I truly believe that all of us have

568
00:24:58,550 --> 00:25:01,210
Speaker 2: a have a superpower, what we're born with a special

569
00:25:01,210 --> 00:25:04,210
Speaker 2: gift and talent that it's something that we can do

570
00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 2: far better than someone else. And I do think that

571
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,060
Speaker 2: that is our gift

572
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:12,220
Speaker 2: to the society I will give to life, I'll give

573
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:15,490
Speaker 2: to the people around us. Yeah, so that's one thing

574
00:25:15,490 --> 00:25:17,100
Speaker 2: I wish I had spent a lot more time on

575
00:25:17,109 --> 00:25:19,940
Speaker 2: earlier because then I went through a lot of years,

576
00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:23,649
Speaker 2: you know comparing myself to others being very insecure in

577
00:25:23,660 --> 00:25:25,490
Speaker 2: a lot of things and it showed up in very

578
00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:28,050
Speaker 2: different ways, right? And I wish that I

579
00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 2: I would not have wasted so much time in all

580
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,619
Speaker 2: of that. Yeah,

581
00:25:31,619 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: I think self reflection is very important. You know understanding

582
00:25:34,050 --> 00:25:36,930
Speaker 1: who you are in this world and having empathy for

583
00:25:36,930 --> 00:25:39,820
Speaker 1: other people as well. It's very, very important. And I

584
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: think when it comes to like Korea's you know, it's

585
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,770
Speaker 1: changed so much since, how do you say like our

586
00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:48,020
Speaker 1: parents generation in their generation, I think a lot of

587
00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:50,870
Speaker 1: women didn't really have an option. They had to stay

588
00:25:50,869 --> 00:25:53,610
Speaker 1: home with the kids and people always say like, oh

589
00:25:53,609 --> 00:25:55,410
Speaker 1: you just stay at home with the kids, you're just

590
00:25:55,410 --> 00:25:58,250
Speaker 1: a housewife, I'm sorry, but a housewife is someone or

591
00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:00,850
Speaker 1: a homemaker hold so many by the

592
00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:02,900
Speaker 2: way, I find that a homemaker is a different calling

593
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 2: and I really respectful. Exactly. Yeah. I do think that

594
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,740
Speaker 2: actually if my colleagues would be a house where I'll

595
00:26:07,740 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: be so free because I think that it's not easy

596
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:10,609
Speaker 2: drop

597
00:26:10,619 --> 00:26:15,510
Speaker 1: At all by the 24 a chef, you're a chauffeur.

598
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:20,609
Speaker 1: You are everything on EMC's no leaves. That's true. Even

599
00:26:20,609 --> 00:26:21,889
Speaker 1: when you have six days you have to show up

600
00:26:21,890 --> 00:26:22,670
Speaker 1: and be there.

601
00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:25,899
Speaker 1: Um But I think in in our parents generations I

602
00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:27,729
Speaker 1: don't know about you know you guys as well. But

603
00:26:27,730 --> 00:26:30,310
Speaker 1: I would love to hear what was your mother's role

604
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: in the family that your mother have a career and

605
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,140
Speaker 1: take care of the family or what was it like

606
00:26:36,150 --> 00:26:38,290
Speaker 1: Some I think for me I take a bit after

607
00:26:38,290 --> 00:26:41,149
Speaker 1: my mom, she has three kids. So my older sister,

608
00:26:41,150 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: me and my younger brother

609
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: but she still goes to work. I think she's the

610
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 1: kind who just can't sit at home and do nothing.

611
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,220
Speaker 1: So she definitely will not be a housewife if you

612
00:26:49,220 --> 00:26:51,060
Speaker 1: have tried to noodles you will know I'm sorry mom

613
00:26:51,070 --> 00:26:57,180
Speaker 1: but she's a great mom. You know she provides for

614
00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: us whenever we need tuition fees whenever the money to

615
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,010
Speaker 1: buy textbooks. She will never say no no matter how

616
00:27:03,010 --> 00:27:05,659
Speaker 1: hard it is on her to be working outside. So

617
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,850
Speaker 1: for this I really really appreciate her.

618
00:27:07,940 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: And I think I want to be this kind of

619
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,389
Speaker 1: mom as well. I want to be there for my kids.

620
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,820
Speaker 1: I don't have to cook for my kids because I

621
00:27:12,820 --> 00:27:16,939
Speaker 1: can't cook, but I can make my kids happy. You know,

622
00:27:16,940 --> 00:27:19,100
Speaker 1: I can still bring in the money that the tuition

623
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 1: fees and everything like that. But did you feel like

624
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,350
Speaker 1: you had to be independent when you were younger?

625
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,830
Speaker 1: Well, I remember when I was six years old, my

626
00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:30,260
Speaker 1: mom had to send me to the kindergarten, right? Uh

627
00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: there was 11 afternoon she was putting me to sleep

628
00:27:32,970 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: and I was holding her hand. I said mama, don't

629
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,540
Speaker 1: go okay after I wake up, you must still be here,

630
00:27:37,540 --> 00:27:40,170
Speaker 1: you cannot go and promise me. And then my mom said, okay, okay,

631
00:27:40,170 --> 00:27:41,550
Speaker 1: I promise you I pay you to sleep, go to

632
00:27:41,550 --> 00:27:43,850
Speaker 1: sleep first. Next thing I knew I woke up, she

633
00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:44,770
Speaker 1: was gone.

634
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,020
Speaker 1: I bawled. My eyes are quite so, so badly. I

635
00:27:48,020 --> 00:27:50,609
Speaker 1: felt like my trust was betrayed. Like mom promised me

636
00:27:50,609 --> 00:27:52,659
Speaker 1: that she wouldn't go. But why did she living in?

637
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,830
Speaker 1: It wasn't until many, many years later that I understood

638
00:27:56,830 --> 00:27:58,790
Speaker 1: that she had to go to work. But I still

639
00:27:58,790 --> 00:28:01,350
Speaker 1: felt I still feel a lot and to this day

640
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:05,410
Speaker 1: I'm 27, I can still remember what happened that very afternoon.

641
00:28:05,420 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 1: So

642
00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:09,270
Speaker 1: it wasn't an accident. I'm sure all mothers don't want

643
00:28:09,270 --> 00:28:11,270
Speaker 1: to do this kit also am I right? They want

644
00:28:11,270 --> 00:28:13,410
Speaker 1: to be there. But what to do, You have to work?

645
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: You have to work. But I understand, I understand now

646
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: that you understand exactly Rachel. What about you? Like how

647
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,170
Speaker 1: is your mom like, you know, and you take after

648
00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 1: her a lot in that sense.

649
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,510
Speaker 2: Well I definitely hope to take after her. I think

650
00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 2: my mom has been the backbone of the family

651
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: um, back in the earlier days, right? Um, my dad

652
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,010
Speaker 2: had his own business too and he was going through

653
00:28:36,010 --> 00:28:40,390
Speaker 2: bankruptcy and my mom had to work two drops to

654
00:28:40,390 --> 00:28:42,870
Speaker 2: support the family to pay off the debts that he

655
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:45,780
Speaker 2: had and things like that and through it all I

656
00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:47,350
Speaker 2: saw her, you know,

657
00:28:47,740 --> 00:28:50,740
Speaker 2: keep her joy in life. It's so tough. You know,

658
00:28:50,740 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 2: by the way where we all had to move off

659
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,930
Speaker 2: our forum flat to stay in a one room flat

660
00:28:57,940 --> 00:29:01,490
Speaker 2: really just in one room together as a family just

661
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:04,660
Speaker 2: so that we could save money and also, you know, um,

662
00:29:04,670 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 2: make answer me in a sense where every time it

663
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,770
Speaker 2: was to a point where

664
00:29:09,140 --> 00:29:11,860
Speaker 2: you know, we will walk past the burdock. This is very,

665
00:29:11,860 --> 00:29:14,740
Speaker 2: very famous. Uh, I mean right and to us we

666
00:29:14,740 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 2: can only just walked past and admire and just wish

667
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,570
Speaker 2: that one day on like, you know, on a christmas

668
00:29:19,580 --> 00:29:22,020
Speaker 2: time or something once a year we can just have

669
00:29:22,020 --> 00:29:25,530
Speaker 2: an enjoyment like that and yeah and really three all

670
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:28,210
Speaker 2: she kept her joy, she kept her faith. She kept

671
00:29:28,210 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: being so strong for the family and she kept the

672
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: family together

673
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,970
Speaker 2: and actually you know, um it was during that time

674
00:29:33,970 --> 00:29:37,510
Speaker 2: also that I decided to want to drop out of

675
00:29:37,510 --> 00:29:40,010
Speaker 2: school to start the business and because I had a

676
00:29:40,010 --> 00:29:42,340
Speaker 2: bond with the government, I had to pay off a

677
00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:44,750
Speaker 2: five figure sum government. And of course I didn't have

678
00:29:44,750 --> 00:29:47,050
Speaker 2: such money at all. I had to go to my

679
00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:50,460
Speaker 2: mom you know to ask can I borrow

680
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,330
Speaker 2: money from you so that I can pay off the

681
00:29:52,330 --> 00:29:54,170
Speaker 2: bond to start the business. And

682
00:29:54,340 --> 00:29:58,250
Speaker 2: obviously, you know, she was so skeptical and cynical because

683
00:29:58,250 --> 00:30:01,110
Speaker 2: back then especially online shopping isn't like what it is today.

684
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,730
Speaker 2: She kept asking me back then like will the government

685
00:30:03,730 --> 00:30:06,940
Speaker 2: come after you? What's going on? Why why are people

686
00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:09,170
Speaker 2: transferring money to you before they see their goods and

687
00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:10,270
Speaker 2: things like that. So,

688
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,540
Speaker 2: and then after that she told me it was actually

689
00:30:12,540 --> 00:30:14,670
Speaker 2: her entire life savings that she had.

690
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,890
Speaker 2: Uh and she decided to take that leap of faith

691
00:30:17,890 --> 00:30:20,610
Speaker 2: with me then I guess, you know, I will never

692
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 2: forget when she handed me that check and rip tears

693
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,740
Speaker 2: in her eyes and that was when I told myself,

694
00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:27,130
Speaker 2: I can never feel because I will never want to

695
00:30:27,130 --> 00:30:28,060
Speaker 2: let my mom down.

696
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,710
Speaker 2: So I mean three all all this right? I think

697
00:30:30,710 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: for me right, my mother has really been my source

698
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,930
Speaker 2: of strength and yeah, through the greatest challenges in my

699
00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:41,430
Speaker 2: family and myself. So yeah.

700
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,510
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, yeah, so touching to hear and like

701
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: no matter what went on in her life, like she

702
00:30:48,010 --> 00:30:49,850
Speaker 1: never put that on you guys, her care.

703
00:30:49,860 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, she never and that's also why I guess not

704
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,170
Speaker 2: as a mom, I feel so much responsibility because

705
00:30:56,540 --> 00:30:59,410
Speaker 2: how you are as a mom or as a parent

706
00:30:59,410 --> 00:31:03,990
Speaker 2: directly affects your kids and how they turn out and

707
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 2: and as a kid, I also remember looking at her

708
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,930
Speaker 2: and drawing so much drink from her and learning from her, right? Yeah,

709
00:31:09,930 --> 00:31:12,340
Speaker 2: and that's why for me the responsibility as a mom

710
00:31:12,350 --> 00:31:14,970
Speaker 2: right now I feel so there's a lot of pressure

711
00:31:14,970 --> 00:31:15,940
Speaker 2: in that sense. Yeah,

712
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,380
Speaker 2: but yeah, it's such a beautiful thing that you know

713
00:31:18,380 --> 00:31:21,300
Speaker 2: you you are able to make a difference and impact

714
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:23,140
Speaker 2: in someone's life in that sense,

715
00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:26,230
Speaker 1: you know, that's amazing what Rachel just said because I

716
00:31:26,230 --> 00:31:27,810
Speaker 1: think a couple of days ago I just had a

717
00:31:27,810 --> 00:31:30,570
Speaker 1: conversation with a friend and this friend told me, so

718
00:31:30,570 --> 00:31:33,540
Speaker 1: this friend just had a baby um 23 months ago

719
00:31:33,550 --> 00:31:36,670
Speaker 1: and this friend told me that now having this role

720
00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:39,060
Speaker 1: they realized that

721
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,850
Speaker 1: you can't do anything to mold the child that you

722
00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:45,380
Speaker 1: think you can work on the child to maul them.

723
00:31:45,390 --> 00:31:47,170
Speaker 1: But the only thing that you can do is to

724
00:31:47,170 --> 00:31:50,340
Speaker 1: work on yourself. Yeah and it's beautiful,

725
00:31:50,350 --> 00:31:52,940
Speaker 2: scary, but so beautiful,

726
00:31:52,950 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: but your mother is amazing, she

727
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,250
Speaker 2: was my living example of that. Yeah,

728
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,500
Speaker 1: speaking about the regimen, wow, I mean,

729
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: honestly,

730
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,990
Speaker 1: yeah, I mean you have a very strong mom and

731
00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: we always say that you know, your mom is someone

732
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:09,780
Speaker 1: that like single handedly you know brought you up and

733
00:32:09,780 --> 00:32:13,100
Speaker 1: do the amazing woman. You are right. So did you

734
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:16,130
Speaker 1: actually have that conversation with your mom ahead of you

735
00:32:16,130 --> 00:32:19,030
Speaker 1: know episode here today to ask her, do you regret

736
00:32:19,030 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: having me? I always tell her that I am her

737
00:32:21,770 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: great displacement weight. Yes. Before she had me. Yeah. So

738
00:32:27,730 --> 00:32:29,810
Speaker 1: are you the only child? I'm the only child you

739
00:32:29,810 --> 00:32:32,050
Speaker 1: truly give? Yeah.

740
00:32:32,340 --> 00:32:35,660
Speaker 1: And um everyone, my husband always says, well if that's

741
00:32:35,660 --> 00:32:37,980
Speaker 1: the reason why God only gave for one, I honestly,

742
00:32:37,990 --> 00:32:44,469
Speaker 1: I'm sorry what? But yeah, so my mother brought me

743
00:32:44,470 --> 00:32:47,270
Speaker 1: up single handedly um since my

744
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: Dad disappeared with our six. Yeah. And at that time,

745
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,670
Speaker 1: so we were living overseas that we came back

746
00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:57,260
Speaker 1: and then um she raised me, she had her parents

747
00:32:57,260 --> 00:32:59,870
Speaker 1: at the time as well to take care of and

748
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: um she was walking to to support me, right? And

749
00:33:03,210 --> 00:33:05,420
Speaker 1: I know that she was very cash strapped because she

750
00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: was the only working person. Um but there was never

751
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,190
Speaker 1: a time that she would say no to me, she

752
00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:13,450
Speaker 1: still made sure that, you know, I

753
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:18,700
Speaker 1: had music classes, that I had swimming classes, everything I needed.

754
00:33:18,710 --> 00:33:21,390
Speaker 1: Um for a good future or what she felt was

755
00:33:21,390 --> 00:33:23,330
Speaker 1: a good future. Yeah,

756
00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:24,450
Speaker 2: wow,

757
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: Just impressive. So she was kind of like juggling all

758
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,670
Speaker 1: of that, not just taking care of you, but her

759
00:33:28,670 --> 00:33:30,540
Speaker 1: own parents as advanced as well, and she had to

760
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:34,990
Speaker 1: support everyone, wow. At that point of time in your life,

761
00:33:34,990 --> 00:33:38,470
Speaker 1: did she ever confide in you? Or did you ever

762
00:33:38,470 --> 00:33:41,900
Speaker 1: see that part of her where she was so stressed out?

763
00:33:41,910 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: It was very hard for her, I think to express

764
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: what she was feeling or to just explain the situation.

765
00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:50,580
Speaker 1: She never really set me down to tell me what's

766
00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:53,850
Speaker 1: going on, but she had always very silently just, you know,

767
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: continue to work hard to make sure that everything was

768
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,490
Speaker 1: in order. Um and because of that, it was also

769
00:34:01,490 --> 00:34:05,050
Speaker 1: very subconscious for me to not ask for certain things

770
00:34:05,050 --> 00:34:07,610
Speaker 1: that I knew was gonna upset her because I knew

771
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:10,130
Speaker 1: she was holding that part as well. So for me

772
00:34:10,130 --> 00:34:11,469
Speaker 1: it was also like a

773
00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 1: I'll just do whatever I can do, you know, fill

774
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,570
Speaker 1: in the spaces that she needed help with. I think

775
00:34:17,570 --> 00:34:19,350
Speaker 1: that's gonna have a huge impact on you and you,

776
00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 1: you know,

777
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: because of your own family. Uh for sure, for sure,

778
00:34:23,130 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 1: I think I have a very vastly different experience. My

779
00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 1: I grew up in a privileged household and you know,

780
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,670
Speaker 1: I've been very open about it and I'm very grateful

781
00:34:30,670 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: for that as well at the point where I was born,

782
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:35,850
Speaker 1: my dad was not doing so well, like he would

783
00:34:35,850 --> 00:34:37,509
Speaker 1: come home and say like, oh I have no money

784
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: for milk about it, that kind of thing.

785
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,049
Speaker 1: But he like, you know, made a name for himself.

786
00:34:41,050 --> 00:34:43,610
Speaker 1: My mom was working at the time to kids, right?

787
00:34:43,610 --> 00:34:44,469
Speaker 1: Me and my brother

788
00:34:44,739 --> 00:34:47,130
Speaker 1: and she would always tell me this story till this day,

789
00:34:47,140 --> 00:34:49,580
Speaker 1: she would tell me, yeah, you don't remember when we

790
00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:51,589
Speaker 1: were five years old, right? And I was working at

791
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:54,290
Speaker 1: office job, right? You would call me at five PM

792
00:34:54,290 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: using the house phone asking mommy where you I miss you,

793
00:34:57,850 --> 00:35:00,569
Speaker 1: can you come home every single day I will be

794
00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:02,700
Speaker 1: calling her, asking her and telling her I miss her.

795
00:35:02,710 --> 00:35:04,469
Speaker 1: And I think that kind of like

796
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,670
Speaker 1: tugged on her heartstrings, right? And she,

797
00:35:07,739 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 1: she felt like she didn't want to miss out on

798
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 1: watching us grow up, so she decided to leave her

799
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:16,509
Speaker 1: career and she's the ultimate mom in the sense that

800
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: she really has her ship together. She not just like runs,

801
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,430
Speaker 1: you know, takes care of the kids, but she runs

802
00:35:22,430 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: the household, she takes care of everything on my dad's

803
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:25,970
Speaker 1: side as well.

804
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: And I saw someone, one of our producers actually put

805
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,450
Speaker 1: a note here saying, you know, she had to be

806
00:35:30,450 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: very independent and take the bus herself to school and

807
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: back

808
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,830
Speaker 1: While watching her parents, her friends parents roll up in

809
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:40,370
Speaker 1: cars and stuff like that, that was me, I'm so sorry. No,

810
00:35:40,370 --> 00:35:43,190
Speaker 1: but she was amazing. Like she even on the days

811
00:35:43,190 --> 00:35:45,870
Speaker 1: where she felt so sick, she would wake up at 6:00,

812
00:35:45,870 --> 00:35:47,850
Speaker 1: the fresh meat to school, there was no off day

813
00:35:47,850 --> 00:35:48,029
Speaker 1: for

814
00:35:48,030 --> 00:35:49,380
Speaker 2: her and

815
00:35:49,390 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: I owe my life to her. I only like to

816
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,610
Speaker 1: her mama jo mama jo I don't think she regrets

817
00:35:55,610 --> 00:35:56,860
Speaker 1: her decision at all. Like

818
00:35:56,940 --> 00:36:00,070
Speaker 1: I think after we had grown up she had found

819
00:36:00,070 --> 00:36:02,070
Speaker 1: her own things to do. She's also helping out with

820
00:36:02,070 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 1: the family business. So she has like a very wholesome

821
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,270
Speaker 1: balanced life. Yeah. And I think we need to realize

822
00:36:07,270 --> 00:36:09,190
Speaker 1: that there's so much of life ahead of us, right?

823
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: It's not just when you have a kid that's it. Yeah,

824
00:36:12,530 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 1: When your kids grow up different seasons. Yeah exactly. So

825
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 1: in about 20 years I'll be with you guys. Yeah. Yeah.

826
00:36:23,969 --> 00:36:29,260
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. But I mean question for the floor, right,

827
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 1: would you guys have, let's say prefer that maybe for

828
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,750
Speaker 1: hazy that your mom would have been home. No,

829
00:36:36,330 --> 00:36:40,930
Speaker 1: no, I think um this is her decision that made

830
00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: her happy and also made me into the independent being

831
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: that I am. I think Yeah, so I actually appreciate

832
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:52,860
Speaker 1: this decision a lot. I think you know Rachel Missouri

833
00:36:52,870 --> 00:36:55,510
Speaker 1: both were in very different circumstances where it was not

834
00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: a choice, it was not a choice and all the

835
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,620
Speaker 1: more you respect them for

836
00:36:59,620 --> 00:37:01,370
Speaker 2: that definitely.

837
00:37:01,380 --> 00:37:03,540
Speaker 1: I think growing up as well. I

838
00:37:03,630 --> 00:37:06,140
Speaker 1: I always wished that she was home a little bit more.

839
00:37:06,150 --> 00:37:08,330
Speaker 1: She didn't work very late. She made sure that she

840
00:37:08,330 --> 00:37:10,110
Speaker 1: was always home by like, you know six or seven

841
00:37:10,110 --> 00:37:11,910
Speaker 1: by the time I was done with school. But I

842
00:37:11,910 --> 00:37:14,540
Speaker 1: just wish that um, I think a lot of my

843
00:37:14,540 --> 00:37:17,810
Speaker 1: friends also at that time they had to stay home mothers. Yeah,

844
00:37:17,820 --> 00:37:19,549
Speaker 1: so I I wish that, you know, I would see

845
00:37:19,550 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: her when I came home, but there was no choice

846
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,870
Speaker 1: there right now. She's retired. I see her at home

847
00:37:23,870 --> 00:37:28,730
Speaker 1: every day, a different story. Every two days she asked

848
00:37:28,730 --> 00:37:31,950
Speaker 1: me so what dramas I watched you

849
00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:36,250
Speaker 1: exactly. I have a question for Rachel. Of course there

850
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,170
Speaker 1: are both good sides and bad sides and ugly sides

851
00:37:39,180 --> 00:37:42,290
Speaker 1: of being a working mom. Like tell us the full truth.

852
00:37:42,290 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: Like other days where you feel so stressed, like I

853
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,589
Speaker 1: just want to be with all the, I don't want

854
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: to work.

855
00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:49,350
Speaker 2: I mean in my experience so far, I mean, yes,

856
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: for sure I struggle right. There are days where

857
00:37:52,330 --> 00:37:56,709
Speaker 2: especially it's so unpredictable, another human being who cannot control

858
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,330
Speaker 2: in a sense, it's not an adult where you can

859
00:37:58,330 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 2: control your emotions and others and they are really days

860
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,180
Speaker 2: where it's so tough, you don't know what to expect.

861
00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:07,989
Speaker 2: You know, he's just so uncomfortable or he's going through

862
00:38:07,989 --> 00:38:09,750
Speaker 2: certain developmental leaps where

863
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,940
Speaker 2: he himself obviously does not know what's going on and

864
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,430
Speaker 2: and especially with working from home, I always say it

865
00:38:15,430 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 2: stresses me out a lot more because you hear him

866
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,330
Speaker 2: cry in the middle of a meeting and I find

867
00:38:20,330 --> 00:38:23,750
Speaker 2: myself being so distracted and so worried. I mean, it's natural, right?

868
00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:26,030
Speaker 2: I think it's also a bit of a maternal instincts

869
00:38:26,030 --> 00:38:28,190
Speaker 2: that I feel like I cannot focus and the worse

870
00:38:28,190 --> 00:38:30,290
Speaker 2: is if I'm giving a presentation or I'm going to

871
00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 2: speak soon, I find myself so tun

872
00:38:33,219 --> 00:38:35,110
Speaker 2: uh to a point where there was one meeting, I

873
00:38:35,110 --> 00:38:37,810
Speaker 2: was almost in tears because I could not cope and

874
00:38:37,820 --> 00:38:40,910
Speaker 2: I had to just take a breather step aside for

875
00:38:40,910 --> 00:38:43,859
Speaker 2: a become myself down and then just show up, I

876
00:38:43,870 --> 00:38:47,370
Speaker 2: decided to show up for the presentation and I felt guilty, like,

877
00:38:47,370 --> 00:38:49,580
Speaker 2: did I make the right decision or, you know, am

878
00:38:49,580 --> 00:38:51,150
Speaker 2: I being a bad man because I chose,

879
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:54,390
Speaker 2: you know, to continue with the presentation versus you know,

880
00:38:54,390 --> 00:38:56,260
Speaker 2: going to check on ali and things like that. I

881
00:38:56,260 --> 00:39:00,210
Speaker 2: guess there will always be 101 questions and doubts and

882
00:39:00,219 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 2: I would beat myself up over it too. But I

883
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,970
Speaker 2: guess for me it's also recognizing that that was the

884
00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:07,450
Speaker 2: best decision that I could have made, and it was

885
00:39:07,450 --> 00:39:08,540
Speaker 2: already made, you know,

886
00:39:08,620 --> 00:39:11,620
Speaker 2: uh and to forgive myself and move on and not

887
00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:14,350
Speaker 2: let it, you know, affect me in that sense. So,

888
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,190
Speaker 2: having a time limit, I will always call it to

889
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:21,980
Speaker 2: beating myself up regretting uh you know, being upset and

890
00:39:21,980 --> 00:39:25,190
Speaker 2: victimizing myself and things like that and then just deciding

891
00:39:25,190 --> 00:39:28,430
Speaker 2: to just move on and make the next best decision.

892
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,110
Speaker 2: So actually I actually, I have this little trick that

893
00:39:31,110 --> 00:39:34,050
Speaker 2: my husband actually not taught me, but he used on me, right?

894
00:39:34,050 --> 00:39:35,700
Speaker 2: So there's one day where I came back and I

895
00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:38,490
Speaker 2: was so defeated and I just launched so far and

896
00:39:38,489 --> 00:39:39,340
Speaker 2: the cushion and

897
00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:40,860
Speaker 2: he was like, what are you doing? What are you

898
00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:42,860
Speaker 2: like that? And I was just like, don't, don't talk

899
00:39:42,860 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: to me. I'm just in my heart, I was throwing

900
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:48,580
Speaker 2: myself a pity party, victimizing myself regretting you know, so

901
00:39:48,580 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 2: what he did next was you know, he just took

902
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,570
Speaker 2: out his iphone and set a time up right? And

903
00:39:52,570 --> 00:39:54,989
Speaker 2: he said once the time of bibs. Uh you have

904
00:39:54,989 --> 00:39:56,770
Speaker 2: to snap out of it. So of course when the

905
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,940
Speaker 2: time I've been on myself, oh my God! I snapped

906
00:39:58,940 --> 00:39:59,750
Speaker 2: a few times.

907
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,020
Speaker 2: But I realized that there is a habit that I

908
00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:05,770
Speaker 2: still use until today because it forces me to snap

909
00:40:05,780 --> 00:40:07,850
Speaker 2: out of it. Right? There is a physical aspect to

910
00:40:07,850 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: force me to snap out of it. I have to

911
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,530
Speaker 2: literally get up, take the phone. You know whether snoozy

912
00:40:12,530 --> 00:40:14,550
Speaker 2: a few more times, I'll just stop it. And I

913
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:17,010
Speaker 2: find that it helps me move on because I am

914
00:40:17,010 --> 00:40:20,310
Speaker 2: not sleeping my emotions or frustrations under the carpet. I

915
00:40:20,310 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 2: am addressing it. I give it time

916
00:40:22,310 --> 00:40:26,020
Speaker 2: whether is it five minutes, 10 minutes or for bigger things.

917
00:40:26,020 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: You know, I give myself longer like 20 minutes and

918
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,810
Speaker 2: things like that right to really mourn over it, to

919
00:40:31,810 --> 00:40:35,890
Speaker 2: feel upset to cry, but after that I forced myself

920
00:40:35,890 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 2: to snap out of it and move on

921
00:40:37,370 --> 00:40:40,910
Speaker 1: easier said than done actually. Yeah, it's interesting because, like,

922
00:40:40,910 --> 00:40:41,140
Speaker 1: you

923
00:40:41,210 --> 00:40:43,390
Speaker 1: put a time limit on it, you have an end goal,

924
00:40:43,450 --> 00:40:47,460
Speaker 1: it's not just following, you know, because, right? Like

925
00:40:47,469 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: I realized it shows up again two weeks later, I'm like,

926
00:40:50,010 --> 00:40:54,100
Speaker 2: oh my God, it's still here, I didn't address it,

927
00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:57,819
Speaker 2: probably all through it, a proper funeral and right, And

928
00:40:57,820 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 2: it's bad because especially if we accumulated one day, if

929
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,710
Speaker 2: you snap that, whether it's your co worker, your husband,

930
00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:04,469
Speaker 2: your family and you realize, oh my God, it was

931
00:41:04,469 --> 00:41:08,690
Speaker 2: because this is accumulated. Pent up frustration. Yeah. So yeah,

932
00:41:08,690 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 2: that's something that has been something that's helped me seriously.

933
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,540
Speaker 1: And I think earlier you mentioned as well when you

934
00:41:13,540 --> 00:41:16,540
Speaker 1: were talking to Hazy and um there's a concern that

935
00:41:16,550 --> 00:41:19,900
Speaker 1: if you live like, you know, for your career alone,

936
00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:21,830
Speaker 1: that's going to affect you in a way where

937
00:41:22,110 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: there's nothing else that brings you joy in life. Like,

938
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have healthy relationships, friendships and all

939
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,710
Speaker 1: that around. And I think experts have also warned that

940
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,790
Speaker 1: just solely living for your career alone could have very

941
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:39,700
Speaker 1: negative impacts on your health point. I c c please

942
00:41:39,700 --> 00:41:42,469
Speaker 1: go on my A P. M. Today. I think it's

943
00:41:42,469 --> 00:41:46,980
Speaker 1: also where um definitely you need to live, not just

944
00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:50,660
Speaker 1: for that, but find other things in life that fulfill you,

945
00:41:50,660 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: even as a mother, you need to have other things,

946
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:53,390
Speaker 1: but

947
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,750
Speaker 2: it's true and that's why I asked Hazy, who are

948
00:41:55,750 --> 00:42:00,250
Speaker 2: you as a person? Because our identity is beyond our title,

949
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:03,620
Speaker 2: our roles, my business, you know. And to me that

950
00:42:03,620 --> 00:42:07,100
Speaker 2: has been important in recognizing it as well, that even

951
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:09,410
Speaker 2: if one day, you know, something were to happen to

952
00:42:09,410 --> 00:42:10,820
Speaker 2: live bonito or it's gone,

953
00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:13,350
Speaker 2: I am not lost as a person, I still know

954
00:42:13,350 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: who I am, you know,

955
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 2: and and my identity is not tied to how successful

956
00:42:18,170 --> 00:42:20,490
Speaker 2: or not live bonito is, right. And I think that's

957
00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:22,850
Speaker 2: important at the end of the day because, you know,

958
00:42:22,850 --> 00:42:25,180
Speaker 2: your business is your career and things like that. They're

959
00:42:25,180 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 2: just vehicles, you know, at the end of the day

960
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 2: that you you exercise your gift and your influence on. Yeah,

961
00:42:32,570 --> 00:42:34,310
Speaker 1: but I did want to touch on, you know, the

962
00:42:34,310 --> 00:42:37,390
Speaker 1: fact that you said working from home was quite, you know,

963
00:42:37,390 --> 00:42:38,690
Speaker 1: it was quite a challenge. And I think it's a

964
00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:39,729
Speaker 1: unique situation that

965
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,950
Speaker 1: because of the pandemic, a lot of moms are working

966
00:42:42,950 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: from home and sort of have to shelter, you know,

967
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: taking care of the kids and running their careers,

968
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,890
Speaker 2: especially those who have to do home based learning my goodness.

969
00:42:51,900 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 2: I really goes out. That's why I say I'm still

970
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,060
Speaker 2: very early where I would say that maybe it's not,

971
00:42:58,070 --> 00:42:59,870
Speaker 2: it's nothing in comparison to what they have to go

972
00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 2: through home based learning maybe not just one, but two kids.

973
00:43:03,090 --> 00:43:05,450
Speaker 2: I tell you it's really crazy while

974
00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 1: working at the same time.

975
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,649
Speaker 2: Exactly while working at the same time. It's really, yeah,

976
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:12,169
Speaker 2: pretty insane honestly,

977
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:15,610
Speaker 1: when it comes to moms who do it all like

978
00:43:15,610 --> 00:43:17,450
Speaker 1: work from home and take care of the kids that

979
00:43:17,450 --> 00:43:19,669
Speaker 1: we really, really respect you guys so much

980
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,130
Speaker 2: and then hold the family together like, yeah, it's really

981
00:43:22,130 --> 00:43:23,430
Speaker 2: not easy, but I really

982
00:43:23,430 --> 00:43:25,569
Speaker 1: do hope as well that in this day and age

983
00:43:25,580 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 1: we realize that it's a shared responsibility to have kids

984
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: and

985
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,210
Speaker 1: it's not just on the mom, you know, to cook clean.

986
00:43:31,219 --> 00:43:33,610
Speaker 2: Exactly. You always hear the term working mom, but I

987
00:43:33,610 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: don't hear Walking

988
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 1: Dead. It's like,

989
00:43:35,650 --> 00:43:37,290
Speaker 2: yeah, that's a

990
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: different episode. Yeah. You know, I just wanted to touch

991
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: on something real quick. It's a little bit different, but

992
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,610
Speaker 1: a couple of episodes ago, so we spoke about, you know,

993
00:43:46,610 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: having kids like your biological clock into sticking and you know,

994
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,190
Speaker 1: for you, do you plan to stop at one or

995
00:43:53,190 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: do you plan to have more?

996
00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 2: I grew up with a family of three, right, Two

997
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,390
Speaker 2: other siblings like hazy. So, and I grew up with

998
00:43:59,390 --> 00:44:02,609
Speaker 2: a big family, you know, with cousins and extended family

999
00:44:02,690 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: About 16 of us. So I really love it.

1000
00:44:05,890 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 2: Um

1001
00:44:06,989 --> 00:44:10,629
Speaker 2: and I, my wish has always been at war 13 kids.

1002
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,230
Speaker 2: But of course you know this like you say it's

1003
00:44:12,230 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: a shared responsibility and I need to speak to my

1004
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,049
Speaker 2: stakeholder about it. Well my husband wants one only I

1005
00:44:18,050 --> 00:44:19,980
Speaker 2: guess you have a line on at least we'll try.

1006
00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 2: You know it got willing that will go for

1007
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,380
Speaker 1: two. We hope that happens. You

1008
00:44:24,390 --> 00:44:28,939
Speaker 2: know already I do feel that as we age kids aside,

1009
00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:31,330
Speaker 2: you know that first your metabolic rate goes now, your

1010
00:44:31,330 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 2: body is easier than usual and things that you're weaker

1011
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:38,580
Speaker 2: than usual physically. Right? Um So I I do feel that.

1012
00:44:38,580 --> 00:44:41,500
Speaker 2: Yes that's a real concern. Um But I guess if

1013
00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:44,190
Speaker 2: I the more I delay may be the worse it

1014
00:44:44,190 --> 00:44:45,420
Speaker 2: gets for me. So

1015
00:44:45,489 --> 00:44:47,549
Speaker 2: yeah that's why I also want to hopefully keep the

1016
00:44:47,550 --> 00:44:49,630
Speaker 2: gap as close as possible. Because there's also a lot

1017
00:44:49,630 --> 00:44:51,310
Speaker 2: of school of thought out there where

1018
00:44:51,390 --> 00:44:54,009
Speaker 2: you know, okay the age gap between you know the

1019
00:44:54,010 --> 00:44:55,870
Speaker 2: first and the second has to be at least three

1020
00:44:55,870 --> 00:44:58,720
Speaker 2: years for you know about things like that. I mean

1021
00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,670
Speaker 2: a lot of school of thoughts out there, right? And

1022
00:45:00,670 --> 00:45:03,049
Speaker 2: for me is to also okay take all of that

1023
00:45:03,050 --> 00:45:05,150
Speaker 2: but I'm not being pressured by their and then looking

1024
00:45:05,150 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 2: at our own situation also because my husband is 14

1025
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,610
Speaker 2: years older than I am. So while of course, you

1026
00:45:11,610 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: know the man does not play too much of a

1027
00:45:13,570 --> 00:45:16,890
Speaker 2: part in that sense being a sperm donor, your age

1028
00:45:16,890 --> 00:45:19,419
Speaker 2: does not really matter too much but

1029
00:45:19,430 --> 00:45:24,189
Speaker 1: taking care of a kid, your to the physical

1030
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 2: aspect and the energy. Right? So yeah, I mean that's

1031
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:27,810
Speaker 2: also what

1032
00:45:27,989 --> 00:45:32,460
Speaker 2: I hope to be able to close the gap as sonya. Okay,

1033
00:45:32,469 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: well thank you so much so much. Yesterday I think

1034
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,910
Speaker 1: we've learned so much even though I'm not a mom myself,

1035
00:45:37,910 --> 00:45:38,610
Speaker 1: but I have,

1036
00:45:38,790 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: I learned so much from you Rachel. Thank you. And

1037
00:45:41,890 --> 00:45:43,930
Speaker 1: I mean we are not in any place to give

1038
00:45:43,930 --> 00:45:47,020
Speaker 1: advice for working moms out there because we don't know

1039
00:45:47,020 --> 00:45:49,509
Speaker 1: what it's like right when we are in 10 years

1040
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,060
Speaker 1: harsh season 24 but I don't want to share you

1041
00:45:53,060 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: know some stuff that our team actually found online that

1042
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,569
Speaker 1: could be helpful for working moms. So they said that

1043
00:45:58,580 --> 00:46:01,410
Speaker 1: you should try or if you're more career driven, right,

1044
00:46:01,580 --> 00:46:04,310
Speaker 1: make the most out of your career, do your absolute

1045
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,500
Speaker 1: best before you settle down, then you kind of live

1046
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:10,910
Speaker 1: with no regrets or lesser regrets. It's fully what I

1047
00:46:10,910 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 1: think as well. And if you're choosing Korea, don't beat

1048
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,700
Speaker 1: yourself up over it is the steady flow of income.

1049
00:46:15,710 --> 00:46:19,340
Speaker 1: You get more freedom for now. You get you're able

1050
00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:21,500
Speaker 1: to just go out socialize you know

1051
00:46:21,580 --> 00:46:23,590
Speaker 1: this recognition, this career growth

1052
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 1: and also you can set healthy boundaries for yourself, your

1053
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: partner and your Children in future and you know what

1054
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: I've learned from you know, speaking to Rachel today as well.

1055
00:46:31,410 --> 00:46:34,570
Speaker 1: It's also that well, you know, we said earlier that

1056
00:46:34,570 --> 00:46:36,570
Speaker 1: you can try and do as much as you can

1057
00:46:36,570 --> 00:46:39,020
Speaker 1: before you have a childhood or before you settle for

1058
00:46:39,020 --> 00:46:41,620
Speaker 1: a family before you commit to this. But I think

1059
00:46:41,620 --> 00:46:42,489
Speaker 1: what I learned as well

1060
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,100
Speaker 1: that life does not stop there,

1061
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,180
Speaker 1: but you know, even if a child you may have

1062
00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:49,140
Speaker 1: to change things a little bit that some things will

1063
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:51,589
Speaker 1: glass now, they're rubber. But you know, it doesn't mean

1064
00:46:51,590 --> 00:46:53,810
Speaker 1: you have to let go of it completely that you

1065
00:46:53,810 --> 00:46:56,489
Speaker 1: can still sort of walk yourself around it. It doesn't

1066
00:46:56,489 --> 00:46:58,170
Speaker 1: mean that your life ends and you have a kid,

1067
00:46:58,180 --> 00:47:02,110
Speaker 1: you know, absolutely not starts when you have a kid. Exactly,

1068
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,270
Speaker 1: aren't you so excited for the future. Do I got excited?

1069
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: You have so much joy and energy. Thank

1070
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,710
Speaker 2: you. I'm excited also, because

1071
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,950
Speaker 2: I actually said, I actually told my husband, you know,

1072
00:47:15,950 --> 00:47:18,280
Speaker 2: like for once I actually realized that there's something more

1073
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 2: important than work and that's a huge revelation for me.

1074
00:47:21,770 --> 00:47:23,950
Speaker 2: I mean, also learning from all of you and your

1075
00:47:23,950 --> 00:47:24,700
Speaker 2: stories on

1076
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,850
Speaker 2: the impact our moms have had in our lives. You know, this,

1077
00:47:28,850 --> 00:47:31,230
Speaker 2: this role as a mom is, you know, beyond just,

1078
00:47:31,230 --> 00:47:34,280
Speaker 2: you know, running a business profit and loss and things

1079
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 2: like it really affects how a child would turn out

1080
00:47:36,450 --> 00:47:38,490
Speaker 2: and this child, you know, at the end of the day,

1081
00:47:38,489 --> 00:47:40,779
Speaker 2: the influence and impact that he or she would have

1082
00:47:40,780 --> 00:47:42,570
Speaker 2: on the rest of the world and the people around

1083
00:47:42,570 --> 00:47:43,590
Speaker 2: him or her. So

1084
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: yeah, to me, I think this is a

1085
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:50,590
Speaker 2: exciting stage of life. Uh, and really excited to also,

1086
00:47:50,590 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 2: you know, if you decide to be, to take on

1087
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,140
Speaker 2: this new season of life one day being a mom,

1088
00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 2: I think excited to hear from you and learn from,

1089
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,540
Speaker 2: you know on, on what you've learned, what you've discovered

1090
00:48:00,540 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 2: about yourself actually through this new journey and season have

1091
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 2: learned so much about myself also and my husband. So

1092
00:48:06,770 --> 00:48:09,130
Speaker 2: it's really exciting and yeah,

1093
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:16,900
Speaker 1: when it comes to you. No, no, no, it's not

1094
00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:19,490
Speaker 1: open yet with that. Thank you so much Rachel for

1095
00:48:19,489 --> 00:48:20,490
Speaker 1: joining us today. Thank

1096
00:48:20,489 --> 00:48:22,050
Speaker 2: you for having me. I really had so much

1097
00:48:22,050 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: fun as to

1098
00:48:23,270 --> 00:48:24,950
Speaker 1: if you like this episode, don't forget to

1099
00:48:24,950 --> 00:48:26,140
Speaker 2: follow us on instagram

1100
00:48:26,150 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: at its clarity

1101
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:27,890
Speaker 2: dot co for more

1102
00:48:27,900 --> 00:48:30,870
Speaker 1: updates. That's right. Listen to all our episodes and Spotify,

1103
00:48:30,870 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 1: apple podcasts wherever you consume your podcasts.

1104
00:48:33,469 --> 00:48:36,819
Speaker 1: If you need visuals, it's on youtube as well. Hey,

1105
00:48:36,830 --> 00:48:39,690
Speaker 1: if you want to see the pants at Rachel's house

1106
00:48:40,060 --> 00:48:43,430
Speaker 1: after this bonito dot com. But yes, make sure you

1107
00:48:43,430 --> 00:48:45,460
Speaker 1: turn on your push notifications as well so that you

1108
00:48:45,460 --> 00:48:48,300
Speaker 1: know when a new episode is up, once again, I'm hazel,

1109
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Speaker 1: I'm a zebra intervene and I'm rich and with your

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Speaker 1: next episode of gravity's got a