WEBVTT - Moving in together? Here are some things you NEED to know

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>It's

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<v Speaker 1>Hazo. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>it's, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Jermaine and welcome back to another episode of Clarity.

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<v Speaker 2>Today's episode. How believe we've never spoke about this? I

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<v Speaker 2>think we spoke about it in bits and pieces over

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<v Speaker 2>the other relationship episodes, but it's about living together with

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<v Speaker 2>a romantic partner.

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<v Speaker 1>Ok. Quick question for the floor. Have you ever lived

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<v Speaker 1>with your partner before? Yes or no. 321.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes. Ok. So we all have that experience. Be it

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<v Speaker 2>like before marriage during marriage.

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<v Speaker 1>Who are you?

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<v Speaker 1>Ok. Wait, wait, define living together. Is it like the

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<v Speaker 1>occasional stayovers? But like maybe many times in a week

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<v Speaker 1>living

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<v Speaker 2>together is you move in with the person, the person

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<v Speaker 2>move in with you or you both move into a

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<v Speaker 2>place together? So you don't? That is your home? That

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<v Speaker 2>is your primary home. So, still, yes. Your answer. Hazy.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Ok. So the answer is, yes. Ok. For all three

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<v Speaker 2>of us, I think a lot has changed in the

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<v Speaker 2>last decade on partners living together. Right. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>in the past maybe our parents generation, my God,

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<v Speaker 1>they would not have done that. No,

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<v Speaker 2>such a big taboo to live together before marriage.

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<v Speaker 1>Agree. I think it was more of a taboo for

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<v Speaker 1>the girl than the boy, right? Because once you move

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<v Speaker 1>in together with this guy before getting married and the

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<v Speaker 1>people point the fingers at you last time in Chinese

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<v Speaker 1>to put,

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<v Speaker 1>which means you like taking care of itself. Not the mere, not, not, not.

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<v Speaker 2>I think cohabiting to me personally is the key to

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<v Speaker 2>a successful relationship. I'm 100% pro this, I'm so pro this.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how I feel about living together with your partner

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<v Speaker 2>and how much it affects a relationship. But you may

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<v Speaker 2>feel different and that's OK. That's what we're here to discuss. Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me more. Why do you think is the key

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<v Speaker 1>to a successful relationship?

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<v Speaker 2>Actually,

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<v Speaker 2>I've cohabited with every single one of my partners. There

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<v Speaker 2>is a caveat to that. I think for some of

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<v Speaker 2>my partners, I was probably too young to have cohabited

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<v Speaker 2>with them. And I probably should not have very much

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<v Speaker 2>to the chagrin of my parents, but it's OK. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm older now. But at a certain point, I think

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<v Speaker 2>especially if you're thinking, ok, this partner might be my

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<v Speaker 2>lifetime commitment. I might want to marry this person or

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<v Speaker 2>I might just wanna be with this person for the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of my life. That is when you think OK,

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<v Speaker 2>cohabiting, it's as important as sex to intimacy

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<v Speaker 1>for sex is important.

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<v Speaker 2>Sex is important and communication is important but so is cohabiting.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm gonna stand on the other side of the

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<v Speaker 1>few and say that sometimes, right? When you stay together,

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<v Speaker 1>that romantic bubble just burst, but eventually you're gonna have

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<v Speaker 1>to do that also. I know so some people might

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<v Speaker 1>want to prolong that feeling of like absence makes the

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<v Speaker 1>heart grow for, you know what I mean? Right. If

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<v Speaker 1>you don't stay together,

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<v Speaker 1>you always look forward to seeing each other the next time,

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<v Speaker 1>the coming weekend, go about your movie days. Whatever

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<v Speaker 2>that

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<v Speaker 2>is one of the problems in one of my relationships

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<v Speaker 2>that we became roommates like each other. Yeah, you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of just get so comfortable. You became roommates. But I

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<v Speaker 2>do think that is something that is a choice. You

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<v Speaker 2>have to keep having the intention of this is a

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<v Speaker 2>romantic relationship. This is not a roommate ship. Keep trying

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<v Speaker 2>at that every day and keep that in mind. Ok.

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<v Speaker 1>So how different is it in your car?

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<v Speaker 1>Current relationship? How do you keep yourselves from turning to like,

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<v Speaker 1>what is it?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, the key thing is you have to share responsibilities

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<v Speaker 2>in the household but still keep that romantic spark alive. Right.

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<v Speaker 2>So have intentional things like date nights outside of the house,

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<v Speaker 2>go for a date night, once every two weeks, once

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<v Speaker 2>a month, whatever works for you to just remind yourself

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<v Speaker 2>a we're a couple we're not like,

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<v Speaker 1>but actually date night, once every two weeks or once

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<v Speaker 1>a month is very long,

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<v Speaker 2>very long. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, we have to find time.

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<v Speaker 2>Do it sometimes to go. Don't you feel like when

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<v Speaker 2>you have the right person? Even, like non intentional dates

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<v Speaker 2>feel like a date. Like, even cooking together at home,

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<v Speaker 2>grocery shopping, grocery shopping together, going furniture shopping. And I

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<v Speaker 2>actually have good knife skills. I'm good at prepping with

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<v Speaker 2>those nails that you see anything with fire, keep me away.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm good at prepping. I'm good at the starting part. Ok.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm good at eating

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<v Speaker 2>the the finishing part. Yeah. But ok, so hazy, you

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<v Speaker 2>don't think it's important to live with your partner before marriage? Ok. Question.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've had relationships where you don't live with the person, right?

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<v Speaker 2>And then you've also had one that you live with

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<v Speaker 2>the person. What do you think is the biggest difference?

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<v Speaker 1>Like what I mentioned, the romantic spark that bubble, that

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<v Speaker 1>fairy tale sort of like facade just disappears when you

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<v Speaker 1>stay together too long.

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<v Speaker 2>But a new kind of romance develops. I agree. I

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<v Speaker 1>agree. But

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<v Speaker 1>is it

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<v Speaker 1>different kind of romance? Like what you mentioned, you stop

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<v Speaker 1>chasing each other but you are very comfortable with each other,

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<v Speaker 1>which is not a bad thing. You start doing household

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<v Speaker 1>chores together instead of going on cafe dates together, that

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<v Speaker 1>kind of difference. Nothing wrong. But it just depends on

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<v Speaker 1>what you're seeking this relationship. But

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<v Speaker 2>if you're looking

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<v Speaker 2>at marriage, it's also

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<v Speaker 2>still gonna happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Correct. It's still gonna come in time. You just want

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<v Speaker 1>to hold it out a little bit. Yeah. To some

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<v Speaker 1>people it might be like that. And I think the

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<v Speaker 1>biggest thing about staying together with your partner is that

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<v Speaker 1>you might actually see a different side of a self

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<v Speaker 1>that is not the good side. But

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's important because if you never see the

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<v Speaker 2>full picture of your partner and then you get married

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<v Speaker 2>and then you move in together and then, then that's

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<v Speaker 2>too late.

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<v Speaker 1>In this

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<v Speaker 1>case. I'm not saying like the full picture of my partner,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm seeing the full picture of myself. Like when I

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<v Speaker 1>stay with someone, I actually become like that, I become

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<v Speaker 1>so comfortable with this person that maybe sometimes I accidentally

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<v Speaker 1>show him the uglier side of me

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<v Speaker 2>what they like.

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<v Speaker 1>No, like sometimes when I get frustrated, I get angry

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not a side that I want to show

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<v Speaker 1>my partner. But the same

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<v Speaker 2>way you want to

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<v Speaker 2>see everything before you commit, they should also be able

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<v Speaker 2>to see everything you think. So I think it's important

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<v Speaker 2>because regardless if you show it now you show it later,

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<v Speaker 2>it will come out, you still have to deal with it,

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<v Speaker 2>you still have to deal with it. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>some of the reasons why people choose to, I guess

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<v Speaker 2>cohabitate with their partner before marriage, we'll talk about, like,

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<v Speaker 2>in some cultures how it's not acceptable later on. Right.

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<v Speaker 2>But those who are ok with it and your parents

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<v Speaker 2>are ok with it. One of the biggest reasons is

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<v Speaker 2>to test your compatibility. Ok. Right. If you're only seeing

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<v Speaker 2>each other once or twice a week outside on dates,

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<v Speaker 2>it's very hard to know if you are truly 100% compatible.

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<v Speaker 2>Very true. The thing is even if you see each

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<v Speaker 2>other a lot over a long period of time, I

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<v Speaker 2>think there are certain things that only comes out at

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<v Speaker 2>home that

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<v Speaker 2>only if you live with that person you'll see or

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<v Speaker 2>you'll learn or you sort of like learn how to

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<v Speaker 2>navigate around,

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<v Speaker 2>you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have two friends. I love them dearly. They

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<v Speaker 1>are a couple, they chose to stay together because of

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<v Speaker 1>financial reasons. They can share the rent, they can speak groceries, bills, everything.

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<v Speaker 1>And my friend, she's grown to see how reliable of

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<v Speaker 1>a person that man is. He cooks for her.

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<v Speaker 1>He washes things for her like even simple things like

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<v Speaker 1>an apple. The boyfriend will ask you want eat apple

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<v Speaker 1>or not. My friend would like, you slice that law

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<v Speaker 1>and then you really slice apple for her. Like it's

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<v Speaker 1>very tiny things but very sweet. Very,

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<v Speaker 2>very so I know someone right whose parents believe that

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<v Speaker 2>you should cohabitate before you get married.

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<v Speaker 1>The parents believe very

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<v Speaker 2>progressive, very good. I like. So

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<v Speaker 2>they're looking at marriage in the near future. And the

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<v Speaker 2>parents said we're not trying to chase you out. But

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<v Speaker 2>before you get married, get out of the house, go

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<v Speaker 2>rent because you're going to run your own household when

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<v Speaker 2>you get married. So now you go run your own household.

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<v Speaker 2>Figure out your financial situation if you're gonna fight now

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<v Speaker 1>because after you get married it's too late. Basically. Correct.

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<v Speaker 2>Basically. I think things like groceries, bills, like

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<v Speaker 2>when everything is under your management and control. Right. I

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<v Speaker 2>think it changes things and I agree because in the

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<v Speaker 2>past my partner's cohabited with me under my parents roof

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<v Speaker 2>and we didn't have to do anything. Everything is up

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<v Speaker 2>to their care and we just live there. But now

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm cohabiting with my partner, it's like it's his place. Right?

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<v Speaker 2>So now it's our home. So everything we have to

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<v Speaker 2>take care of it right from like if the bill

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<v Speaker 2>goes out, we be like,

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<v Speaker 2>ok, why, why is he just told me the other

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<v Speaker 2>day the electrical bill went up. I was like, oh, shit,

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<v Speaker 2>what have we been doing? It turns out it's because

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<v Speaker 2>we have a new puppy now. And so we have

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<v Speaker 2>to turn on the air con in a whole different

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<v Speaker 2>room all night. So she's the reason for it anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>things like that, being independent and financially independent in your

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<v Speaker 2>own home is so much different than cohabiting. Other. Your

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<v Speaker 2>parents

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<v Speaker 1>agree. Emotional readiness is also one thing, I think some

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<v Speaker 1>couples want to take the relationship to the next

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<v Speaker 1>level and strengthen it. So, one of the better ways

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<v Speaker 1>or one of the good ways to go about doing

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<v Speaker 1>it is moving up and then see how you can

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<v Speaker 1>handle your emotions when you just, you and your partner

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<v Speaker 1>without the involvement of any family members.

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<v Speaker 2>That's

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<v Speaker 2>true. I mean, it is, it's the choice between we

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<v Speaker 2>live together and it doesn't work. Let's break up. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we got married already now. We have to get a divorce,

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<v Speaker 2>which is complicated. Right. Yeah, it's complicated. And

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<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of people move in together sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>because they're not sure if they want to get married yet.

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<v Speaker 2>So they live together first and maybe delay marriage a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit or they wanna, like I said, avoid having

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<v Speaker 2>to get a divorce because they haven't seen the full picture.

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<v Speaker 1>But at the same time, I can also understand why

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<v Speaker 1>some people they refuse to move in together before getting married.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, there's a lot of like social stigma, especially

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<v Speaker 1>for females and a traditional.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you think that Singapore is a traditional country? Like

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<v Speaker 1>in terms of these values,

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<v Speaker 2>certain cultures, I think slightly conservative still because in the

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<v Speaker 2>US parents expect their kids to move out at 18.

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<v Speaker 2>Be it with a partner without a partner, correct. No

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<v Speaker 2>one in Singapore expects that. Firstly because it's damn expensive.

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<v Speaker 2>And also I think parents are a bit more like

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<v Speaker 2>protective

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<v Speaker 2>kids with them.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm always my mother's little baby

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<v Speaker 1>when I first wanted to move out. She's ha why?

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<v Speaker 1>For what your p which means? Is it necessary?

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<v Speaker 2>I think religion is another big thing which is why

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<v Speaker 2>in some cultures it's completely taboo taboo think. Yeah, because

0:10:36.409 --> 0:10:39.880
<v Speaker 2>living together before marriage to some people, it implies that

0:10:39.890 --> 0:10:42.000
<v Speaker 2>the couple is intimate and in some cultures that is

0:10:42.010 --> 0:10:44.270
<v Speaker 2>not acceptable. So I think with, it comes a lot

0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.960
<v Speaker 2>of stigma. I think also one thing that people

0:10:48.039 --> 0:10:50.409
<v Speaker 2>maybe would not choose to live with their partners because

0:10:50.419 --> 0:10:52.750
<v Speaker 2>you have different living habits. Maybe one is a super

0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.459
<v Speaker 2>morning person, one is a super night owl and then

0:10:55.469 --> 0:10:57.369
<v Speaker 2>they just want to stay up all night and then

0:10:57.380 --> 0:10:59.929
<v Speaker 2>you disturb the other person. It's so different. Yeah. It's

0:10:59.940 --> 0:11:01.819
<v Speaker 2>a lot of things that you have to work through.

0:11:01.830 --> 0:11:04.010
<v Speaker 2>So I work the night shift and my partner is

0:11:04.020 --> 0:11:06.559
<v Speaker 2>a morning person. I would love to be a morning person,

0:11:06.570 --> 0:11:08.640
<v Speaker 2>but I can't because I work the night shift. So

0:11:08.650 --> 0:11:10.000
<v Speaker 2>there are a lot of things like when he wakes

0:11:10.010 --> 0:11:12.250
<v Speaker 2>up in the morning because he's so independent. Right? He

0:11:12.260 --> 0:11:12.979
<v Speaker 2>doesn't think

0:11:13.489 --> 0:11:17.119
<v Speaker 2>that through no bad intention, but he doesn't realize that

0:11:17.130 --> 0:11:19.699
<v Speaker 2>I'm still trying to sleep. So he open door, close

0:11:19.710 --> 0:11:21.809
<v Speaker 2>the door, make coffee, do this, do that and it's

0:11:21.820 --> 0:11:24.429
<v Speaker 2>like really loud and the machine goes, yeah,

0:11:25.869 --> 0:11:29.849
<v Speaker 2>every morning, that's my alarm. So, I have a conversation

0:11:29.859 --> 0:11:32.349
<v Speaker 2>with him like a few months ago after we started

0:11:32.359 --> 0:11:34.169
<v Speaker 2>living together, I was like, babe,

0:11:34.890 --> 0:11:37.799
<v Speaker 2>I need to sleep. I like, I'm still asleep. Can

0:11:37.809 --> 0:11:39.419
<v Speaker 2>you just try, like, in a very nice way you

0:11:39.429 --> 0:11:40.700
<v Speaker 2>have to communicate. You can't be like,

0:11:42.190 --> 0:11:44.580
<v Speaker 2>no, you have to be like, can you please just

0:11:44.590 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>be a bit quiet? Try to tone it down. They're

0:11:47.770 --> 0:11:51.010
<v Speaker 2>not aware, it's not, there's no malicious intention and to

0:11:51.020 --> 0:11:53.390
<v Speaker 2>his credit, he really reach, he opened the door. So

0:11:54.460 --> 0:11:56.960
<v Speaker 2>now I close it so quietly. If our puppy is

0:11:56.969 --> 0:11:59.219
<v Speaker 2>making noise, you could get her and make sure that

0:11:59.510 --> 0:12:01.489
<v Speaker 2>they don't like, they don't like disturb

0:12:01.500 --> 0:12:01.869
<v Speaker 2>me.

0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.859
<v Speaker 1>I had the same conversation with my mother. She likes

0:12:04.869 --> 0:12:07.020
<v Speaker 1>to open the door like bang and I think the

0:12:07.030 --> 0:12:09.619
<v Speaker 1>thing very loudly then the next morning.

0:12:11.929 --> 0:12:13.739
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God.

0:12:15.409 --> 0:12:18.409
<v Speaker 2>Not just OK. You know, I mean, don't look at partners, right?

0:12:18.419 --> 0:12:20.590
<v Speaker 2>Just look at your own house or your own family.

0:12:20.599 --> 0:12:22.030
<v Speaker 2>Everyone has their own little

0:12:22.039 --> 0:12:22.630
<v Speaker 2>self.

0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:22.989
<v Speaker 1>Yeah,

0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.299
<v Speaker 2>that sometimes drives you fucking nuts. My biggest, let me

0:12:26.309 --> 0:12:28.459
<v Speaker 2>tell you my biggest thing, right? Is if I find

0:12:28.469 --> 0:12:31.728
<v Speaker 2>things in my butter, I'm sorry, what are you

0:12:31.989 --> 0:12:32.750
<v Speaker 1>talking

0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:33.890
<v Speaker 2>about? You

0:12:34.020 --> 0:12:34.079
<v Speaker 2>know,

0:12:35.239 --> 0:12:39.699
<v Speaker 2>use butter, right? Everyone uses that butter, right? But you know,

0:12:39.710 --> 0:12:42.690
<v Speaker 2>when someone uses like a like they already use something,

0:12:42.700 --> 0:12:45.159
<v Speaker 2>a dirty knife, correct? And they put it in the

0:12:45.169 --> 0:12:47.169
<v Speaker 2>butter and the like crs are there, for example, I

0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.739
<v Speaker 2>sometimes peanut butter goes into.

0:12:49.919 --> 0:12:52.609
<v Speaker 1>That must be the weirdest pet peeve ever

0:12:53.575 --> 0:12:56.104
<v Speaker 2>me. Not. So if I open the fucking button and

0:12:56.114 --> 0:12:58.344
<v Speaker 2>I see these things drive me crazy. I have a

0:12:58.354 --> 0:13:00.984
<v Speaker 2>very simple solution for you. Buy my own, your own butter,

0:13:01.174 --> 0:13:02.635
<v Speaker 2>label it a zero but

0:13:02.765 --> 0:13:04.804
<v Speaker 1>do not and buy your own knife, label it a

0:13:04.864 --> 0:13:05.494
<v Speaker 1>zero knife. Do

0:13:05.505 --> 0:13:05.895
<v Speaker 1>not,

0:13:05.905 --> 0:13:07.674
<v Speaker 2>do not touch. This is my butter and my butter

0:13:07.684 --> 0:13:11.705
<v Speaker 2>only very simple solution to save you. A lot of grief.

0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.479
<v Speaker 1>That's a horror story right there. But what some of

0:13:14.489 --> 0:13:17.130
<v Speaker 1>the other horror stories that we have read online about

0:13:17.140 --> 0:13:18.250
<v Speaker 1>moving in together?

0:13:18.260 --> 0:13:22.289
<v Speaker 2>Ok. So this one from Reddit and this person says

0:13:22.409 --> 0:13:25.609
<v Speaker 2>we were dating for a year before moving in together

0:13:25.820 --> 0:13:27.929
<v Speaker 2>and I thought I knew him in and out because

0:13:27.940 --> 0:13:29.289
<v Speaker 2>we spend so much time together.

0:13:29.655 --> 0:13:32.984
<v Speaker 2>Despite not living together, we were always around each other

0:13:32.994 --> 0:13:34.734
<v Speaker 2>and moving in just didn't seem like it was such

0:13:34.744 --> 0:13:38.234
<v Speaker 2>a big deal upon moving in. We found out that

0:13:38.244 --> 0:13:41.114
<v Speaker 2>we both are very different. He didn't think that he

0:13:41.125 --> 0:13:43.835
<v Speaker 2>would have to cook or clean or basically do anything.

0:13:43.885 --> 0:13:46.835
<v Speaker 2>He assumed that it was my the girls job

0:13:47.849 --> 0:13:49.270
<v Speaker 1>shame on you.

0:13:49.599 --> 0:13:52.630
<v Speaker 2>You don't have a clean house before I moved in.

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.989
<v Speaker 2>I thought he was a minimalist because he didn't really

0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.750
<v Speaker 2>have anything around his apartment. But turns out is because

0:13:57.919 --> 0:13:59.979
<v Speaker 2>it's easy for him to manage because he doesn't like

0:13:59.989 --> 0:14:03.010
<v Speaker 2>to clean cook or anything like that. Another thing that

0:14:03.020 --> 0:14:05.390
<v Speaker 2>would really annoy me is that I have a dog

0:14:05.599 --> 0:14:07.229
<v Speaker 2>and he will always leave the gate open, which is

0:14:07.239 --> 0:14:09.549
<v Speaker 2>very dangerous dog, run out, get run over my car,

0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:12.210
<v Speaker 2>all that. I told him to be extra careful and

0:14:12.219 --> 0:14:13.869
<v Speaker 2>he didn't seem to care at all.

0:14:14.190 --> 0:14:17.179
<v Speaker 2>I got tired of being his mom and very soon

0:14:17.190 --> 0:14:20.059
<v Speaker 2>after we broke up once the lease ended, so living

0:14:20.070 --> 0:14:24.369
<v Speaker 2>together before marriage, even though I encountered many unpleasant surprises

0:14:24.380 --> 0:14:27.669
<v Speaker 2>and it led to the end of the relationship without it,

0:14:27.679 --> 0:14:29.849
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have known until it was too late,

0:14:29.869 --> 0:14:29.880
<v Speaker 1>a

0:14:30.140 --> 0:14:31.020
<v Speaker 1>blessing in this guy.

0:14:31.210 --> 0:14:31.500
<v Speaker 1>So

0:14:31.510 --> 0:14:32.159
<v Speaker 2>it's better to

0:14:32.169 --> 0:14:34.820
<v Speaker 2>find out. But don't you think so? I think so.

0:14:34.890 --> 0:14:38.020
<v Speaker 2>I've got another horror story. But before that hazy, because

0:14:38.030 --> 0:14:41.159
<v Speaker 2>you said right, that you think I said you're not

0:14:41.169 --> 0:14:42.919
<v Speaker 2>really for living together,

0:14:42.929 --> 0:14:43.359
<v Speaker 2>correct?

0:14:43.369 --> 0:14:46.020
<v Speaker 1>I would say I would way carefully. The are the

0:14:46.030 --> 0:14:47.059
<v Speaker 1>pros and cons. So

0:14:47.070 --> 0:14:47.369
<v Speaker 2>would you

0:14:47.380 --> 0:14:48.000
<v Speaker 1>do it again?

0:14:48.330 --> 0:14:51.609
<v Speaker 1>Yes. As much as I think, you know, I want

0:14:51.619 --> 0:14:54.859
<v Speaker 1>to extend the romantic relationship, the romantic side of things

0:14:54.869 --> 0:14:57.820
<v Speaker 1>ultimately is still a very practical decision to move in together.

0:14:57.830 --> 0:15:00.780
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like with the right steps taken, you

0:15:00.789 --> 0:15:05.099
<v Speaker 1>can still enhance that romantic relationship even more thing together.

0:15:05.140 --> 0:15:05.739
<v Speaker 1>So

0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:06.450
<v Speaker 2>how

0:15:06.460 --> 0:15:07.380
<v Speaker 2>would you do it differently

0:15:07.390 --> 0:15:08.340
<v Speaker 2>or better at this time?

0:15:08.349 --> 0:15:08.900
<v Speaker 1>First of all,

0:15:08.992 --> 0:15:11.492
<v Speaker 1>manage my own emotions, better explain it like why I'm

0:15:11.502 --> 0:15:15.793
<v Speaker 1>feeling this way? Secondly, be more conscious, I feel like

0:15:15.802 --> 0:15:18.382
<v Speaker 1>sometimes you need to put effort to like, have a

0:15:18.393 --> 0:15:21.773
<v Speaker 1>little cook night together, sit down, eat together or just like,

0:15:21.783 --> 0:15:24.273
<v Speaker 1>have a glass of beer and look at the view.

0:15:24.283 --> 0:15:26.732
<v Speaker 1>Simple things like that. Very simple things. But can make

0:15:26.742 --> 0:15:28.982
<v Speaker 1>a world of a difference. So.

0:15:28.992 --> 0:15:29.643
<v Speaker 2>Right. I've got

0:15:29.705 --> 0:15:33.606
<v Speaker 2>friend, she lives by herself. The guy lives by himself.

0:15:33.875 --> 0:15:37.495
<v Speaker 2>They were not together at this point. This was COVID

0:15:37.606 --> 0:15:40.494
<v Speaker 2>and they don't live in Singapore. So it was locked down, right?

0:15:40.505 --> 0:15:43.085
<v Speaker 2>And you can't go out. And I think because it's Malaysia.

0:15:43.096 --> 0:15:47.075
<v Speaker 2>So it's like rather far apart. Ok. OK. One day

0:15:47.085 --> 0:15:50.075
<v Speaker 2>he decided to confess his love you,

0:15:51.820 --> 0:15:54.609
<v Speaker 2>but you can't go out. So the only way is

0:15:54.619 --> 0:15:58.460
<v Speaker 2>if you're exercising. So he cycle all the way to

0:15:58.469 --> 0:16:01.719
<v Speaker 2>her house like four hours, I think. Wow, profess his

0:16:01.729 --> 0:16:04.979
<v Speaker 2>love and then moved in right away, just him and

0:16:04.989 --> 0:16:05.780
<v Speaker 2>his bicycle

0:16:06.919 --> 0:16:10.090
<v Speaker 2>and they've lived together since. So it's like literally from

0:16:10.099 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 2>day one. Wow, it's OK. In Singapore, the furthest you

0:16:13.330 --> 0:16:15.020
<v Speaker 2>can cycle is like very

0:16:15.030 --> 0:16:15.770
<v Speaker 1>far to

0:16:15.869 --> 0:16:16.229
<v Speaker 2>Jurong,

0:16:18.239 --> 0:16:21.599
<v Speaker 1>to Pasir Ris far, very far, very far, very far

0:16:21.630 --> 0:16:21.849
<v Speaker 1>for

0:16:21.859 --> 0:16:24.479
<v Speaker 2>them. I mean, that's a success story. It's very interesting.

0:16:24.489 --> 0:16:24.840
<v Speaker 2>It's not hard.

0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.479
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, I have a question for Hazy because now you

0:16:27.489 --> 0:16:31.070
<v Speaker 2>own your own place. So if you were to have

0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.929
<v Speaker 2>a partner that you would want to cohabitate with, would

0:16:33.940 --> 0:16:37.559
<v Speaker 2>you want to rent a new place with your partner

0:16:37.929 --> 0:16:41.820
<v Speaker 2>or have your partner cohabitate with you in your existing place.

0:16:41.830 --> 0:16:42.979
<v Speaker 1>The first option

0:16:43.469 --> 0:16:45.719
<v Speaker 1>is not even something I would consider. Why would I

0:16:45.729 --> 0:16:46.650
<v Speaker 1>rent a new place

0:16:46.659 --> 0:16:48.979
<v Speaker 2>so that you still have your own space? I know

0:16:48.989 --> 0:16:52.010
<v Speaker 2>a few friends like that. They still keep their own space.

0:16:52.020 --> 0:16:54.849
<v Speaker 2>Then they cohabitate with their partner in a shared space.

0:16:54.859 --> 0:16:55.440
<v Speaker 2>I would prefer

0:16:55.450 --> 0:16:58.929
<v Speaker 1>making new memories together in a space. I call mine.

0:16:58.989 --> 0:17:02.059
<v Speaker 1>I think this makes it more meaningful but I see

0:17:02.070 --> 0:17:02.770
<v Speaker 1>where you're coming from. I

0:17:02.844 --> 0:17:04.285
<v Speaker 1>never thought like that could be an option. Then if

0:17:04.295 --> 0:17:06.514
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't work there, how burn the house? No la

0:17:06.564 --> 0:17:11.645
<v Speaker 1>then you move out and be happy every day is

0:17:11.655 --> 0:17:11.844
<v Speaker 1>like

0:17:11.854 --> 0:17:14.275
<v Speaker 2>that one. Yeah. So I know we've said a couple

0:17:14.285 --> 0:17:16.415
<v Speaker 2>of horror stories but your friend story is a success.

0:17:18.055 --> 0:17:20.665
<v Speaker 2>I think it's jackpot like one in a million cycle

0:17:20.675 --> 0:17:21.755
<v Speaker 2>over there and then move in.

0:17:23.329 --> 0:17:27.359
<v Speaker 2>So let's read you some success stories from its this

0:17:27.369 --> 0:17:32.920
<v Speaker 2>story says from Singapore cohabited for five years before getting married.

0:17:33.430 --> 0:17:39.130
<v Speaker 2>Five years long time. After washing the dishes, he leaves

0:17:39.140 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 2>a soapy sponge to dry which irks me pet peeve

0:17:43.050 --> 0:17:45.489
<v Speaker 2>of mine. My hair drops everywhere on the floor, which

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.300
<v Speaker 2>irks him. OK? After using the toilet, he doesn't turn

0:17:48.310 --> 0:17:50.910
<v Speaker 2>off the lights, which irks me and it's

0:17:51.005 --> 0:17:53.725
<v Speaker 2>likely irritates me. I wash my face in the basin

0:17:53.734 --> 0:17:57.015
<v Speaker 2>and makes the floor wet. He doesn't like. It sounds

0:17:57.026 --> 0:18:00.696
<v Speaker 2>like this is a horror story, right? But they communicated

0:18:00.946 --> 0:18:03.316
<v Speaker 2>they were mature enough to take the feedback and change

0:18:03.326 --> 0:18:06.225
<v Speaker 2>their habits. Now he squeezes the soap out of the

0:18:06.234 --> 0:18:09.426
<v Speaker 2>sponges before he leaves the kitchen. I sweep my hair

0:18:09.436 --> 0:18:11.715
<v Speaker 2>off the floor once a week as you should. He

0:18:11.725 --> 0:18:13.865
<v Speaker 2>installed a motion sensor in the toilet so that the

0:18:13.875 --> 0:18:16.975
<v Speaker 2>light turns on its smart. I now wash my face

0:18:16.984 --> 0:18:18.625
<v Speaker 2>in the bathroom area instead of the

0:18:19.421 --> 0:18:22.281
<v Speaker 2>and we're very happy together. So you see, like you,

0:18:22.291 --> 0:18:24.271
<v Speaker 2>when you see these kind of things, you can iron

0:18:24.281 --> 0:18:26.712
<v Speaker 2>it out slowly can make compromises.

0:18:26.771 --> 0:18:28.601
<v Speaker 1>Yes, but it takes two hands to clap. Some people

0:18:28.612 --> 0:18:31.102
<v Speaker 1>don't want to make changes. You know, some people just

0:18:31.112 --> 0:18:34.202
<v Speaker 1>feel like why I'm happy living the way I am correct.

0:18:34.212 --> 0:18:36.130
<v Speaker 1>They will work out what? So sometimes,

0:18:36.141 --> 0:18:39.062
<v Speaker 2>right? I think beyond little things, sometimes it also has

0:18:39.071 --> 0:18:40.661
<v Speaker 2>to do like with ourselves,

0:18:40.741 --> 0:18:41.212
<v Speaker 1>right?

0:18:41.391 --> 0:18:43.442
<v Speaker 2>Like OK, let me give you an example. I'm not

0:18:43.452 --> 0:18:45.751
<v Speaker 2>a morning person. I fucking hate the morning. We can

0:18:45.761 --> 0:18:46.101
<v Speaker 1>tell

0:18:47.030 --> 0:18:51.819
<v Speaker 2>very obvious grumpy in the morning when you're by yourself.

0:18:51.829 --> 0:18:54.540
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter, right? But I think sometimes we forget.

0:18:54.550 --> 0:18:56.738
<v Speaker 2>So there has been an instance where I woke up

0:18:56.750 --> 0:18:59.079
<v Speaker 2>in the morning and I was grumpy as fuck. But

0:18:59.089 --> 0:19:01.819
<v Speaker 2>then like it's unfair for the other person, you know,

0:19:01.829 --> 0:19:06.060
<v Speaker 2>and you wouldn't realize or discover or learn until like

0:19:06.199 --> 0:19:07.899
<v Speaker 2>you go through it. I mean, yeah,

0:19:07.910 --> 0:19:10.000
<v Speaker 1>that's what I'm saying. You saw a side of yourself

0:19:10.010 --> 0:19:12.099
<v Speaker 1>that you're not proud to show and that person doesn't

0:19:12.109 --> 0:19:12.780
<v Speaker 1>deserve it.

0:19:12.939 --> 0:19:13.689
<v Speaker 2>No, it's not about

0:19:13.744 --> 0:19:15.706
<v Speaker 2>whether they deserve it is about, can they love you

0:19:15.715 --> 0:19:18.965
<v Speaker 2>through it or not? It's like just this morning my partner,

0:19:18.975 --> 0:19:21.426
<v Speaker 2>he had very late night, he came home from work

0:19:21.436 --> 0:19:25.245
<v Speaker 2>dinner at midnight and then he had a 7:30 a.m. call.

0:19:25.296 --> 0:19:29.605
<v Speaker 2>So to wake up at like 630 he was super grumpy.

0:19:29.755 --> 0:19:32.645
<v Speaker 2>But I already knew from last night I knew he's

0:19:32.656 --> 0:19:34.926
<v Speaker 2>going to be grumpy in the morning. So I prepared

0:19:34.936 --> 0:19:38.526
<v Speaker 2>myself for the grumpiness and gave him a lot more TLC.

0:19:38.546 --> 0:19:40.555
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, like she like a baby, like

0:19:41.442 --> 0:19:45.901
<v Speaker 2>very grumpy. It's OK. It's OK. It's ok tomorrow, Saturdays

0:19:45.911 --> 0:19:49.472
<v Speaker 2>the weekend, things like that. It's like you have to

0:19:50.802 --> 0:19:53.071
<v Speaker 2>love them through the grumpiness. So it's OK that you

0:19:53.112 --> 0:19:53.791
<v Speaker 2>got OK. So

0:19:53.802 --> 0:19:57.232
<v Speaker 1>if that happens once in a while, that's ok. Sure.

0:19:57.241 --> 0:19:59.870
<v Speaker 1>But if that happens every day, then I don't think

0:19:59.881 --> 0:20:04.602
<v Speaker 1>it's like the partner's responsibility to keep likes the other.

0:20:06.391 --> 0:20:07.462
<v Speaker 2>You see a therapist?

0:20:08.219 --> 0:20:11.050
<v Speaker 1>Have you girls heard of this term? The cohabitation

0:20:11.060 --> 0:20:11.560
<v Speaker 1>effect.

0:20:11.569 --> 0:20:14.300
<v Speaker 2>It kind of scares me like you morph into one

0:20:14.310 --> 0:20:18.880
<v Speaker 2>person or no cohabitation effect is you're more likely according

0:20:18.890 --> 0:20:21.938
<v Speaker 2>to research. OK. If you cohabitate before marriage,

0:20:23.420 --> 0:20:26.689
<v Speaker 2>the success rate of your relationship goes down. Why are

0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.479
<v Speaker 2>the cohabitation? In fact, because when you live together, you

0:20:29.489 --> 0:20:32.319
<v Speaker 2>find out more things that could potentially ruin your relationship

0:20:32.329 --> 0:20:33.939
<v Speaker 2>and cause you to break up or get divorced or

0:20:33.949 --> 0:20:35.640
<v Speaker 2>whatever sorry. Repeat

0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:37.050
<v Speaker 2>that.

0:20:39.239 --> 0:20:44.300
<v Speaker 2>The says yes. The statistic says that if you live

0:20:44.310 --> 0:20:48.869
<v Speaker 2>together before marriage or before engagement, you're more likely to,

0:20:49.020 --> 0:20:51.129
<v Speaker 2>you tend to be less satisfied, you tend to be

0:20:51.140 --> 0:20:54.319
<v Speaker 2>less satisfied with your marriage and more likely that the

0:20:54.329 --> 0:20:57.099
<v Speaker 2>marriage might not succeed or it might not happen, might

0:20:57.109 --> 0:20:59.349
<v Speaker 2>not happen, then couples who do not live together

0:20:59.459 --> 0:21:02.959
<v Speaker 2>for marriage but in my defense. No, but the comparison

0:21:02.969 --> 0:21:06.599
<v Speaker 2>then would be the breakup rate to the divorce rate.

0:21:06.630 --> 0:21:09.550
<v Speaker 2>Don't you think so? Is happening earlier?

0:21:09.619 --> 0:21:12.079
<v Speaker 1>Whether you're grieving a breakup or grieving a divorce?

0:21:12.150 --> 0:21:12.640
<v Speaker 2>No, that's

0:21:12.650 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 2>why I say it scares me to hear the statistic

0:21:15.930 --> 0:21:18.770
<v Speaker 2>but it makes sense because the more you find out

0:21:18.780 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>about the person,

0:21:19.869 --> 0:21:22.359
<v Speaker 2>the more chance there is that it might not work out.

0:21:22.369 --> 0:21:24.929
<v Speaker 2>It is true but it's like a test drive before

0:21:24.939 --> 0:21:25.688
<v Speaker 2>you buy a car.

0:21:25.859 --> 0:21:27.458
<v Speaker 1>Do you actually test drive before you buy a car?

0:21:27.469 --> 0:21:28.399
<v Speaker 1>Of course, I know.

0:21:29.500 --> 0:21:31.849
<v Speaker 2>What are you talking? You test drive first and then

0:21:31.859 --> 0:21:36.800
<v Speaker 2>you don't like you don't buy OK. Not so bad. No, man.

0:21:37.099 --> 0:21:39.089
<v Speaker 2>Either way when it comes to moving in with your

0:21:39.099 --> 0:21:40.130
<v Speaker 2>significant other,

0:21:40.719 --> 0:21:42.859
<v Speaker 2>there's a lot to think about before you just move

0:21:42.869 --> 0:21:46.359
<v Speaker 2>in on a whim. I mean your friend cycling all

0:21:46.369 --> 0:21:48.280
<v Speaker 2>the way to the house moving in. There was a

0:21:48.290 --> 0:21:48.770
<v Speaker 2>lucky

0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:50.530
<v Speaker 1>one in a million. I don't think he

0:21:50.540 --> 0:21:50.688
<v Speaker 2>thought

0:21:50.699 --> 0:21:52.688
<v Speaker 2>he was gonna move in. I think he thought he

0:21:52.699 --> 0:21:55.560
<v Speaker 2>was just gonna go there. No, she offered to, like, oh, yes,

0:21:56.270 --> 0:21:58.430
<v Speaker 1>he must have been too tired to cycle four hours back.

0:21:59.170 --> 0:22:01.079
<v Speaker 1>I can stay for the night and then once I

0:22:01.089 --> 0:22:03.420
<v Speaker 1>became to one week and the like, forever,

0:22:04.459 --> 0:22:06.109
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's a lot of things that you should

0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:08.959
<v Speaker 2>consider and discuss before you decide to move in. It

0:22:08.969 --> 0:22:12.040
<v Speaker 2>is a commitment. It is a big step. Firstly, you

0:22:12.050 --> 0:22:15.670
<v Speaker 2>need to be very open and communicate about each other's

0:22:15.680 --> 0:22:20.270
<v Speaker 2>quirks and habits and pet peeves. Right? Don't just take

0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:21.579
<v Speaker 2>it in, take it and take it in. It's ok.

0:22:21.589 --> 0:22:24.010
<v Speaker 2>I'll just take it in. After a few years, you

0:22:24.020 --> 0:22:24.050
<v Speaker 2>will

0:22:24.060 --> 0:22:24.669
<v Speaker 2>explode.

0:22:24.680 --> 0:22:26.699
<v Speaker 1>Not even a few years sometimes. So you must be

0:22:26.709 --> 0:22:27.469
<v Speaker 1>really open

0:22:27.739 --> 0:22:32.579
<v Speaker 1>with your emotions. And I think sharing responsibilities, equal responsibilities

0:22:32.589 --> 0:22:34.689
<v Speaker 1>is very important. I'm not saying you have to do

0:22:34.699 --> 0:22:37.948
<v Speaker 1>like 50% of dishes, 50% of the laundry. But if

0:22:37.959 --> 0:22:40.250
<v Speaker 1>one person does the dishes, then the other person maybe

0:22:40.260 --> 0:22:43.349
<v Speaker 1>can vacuum the floor mop the floor. Or if these

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:46.448
<v Speaker 1>chores really get to you, then my solution is chip

0:22:46.459 --> 0:22:50.880
<v Speaker 1>in money. Get a part time helper if you outsource. Yeah. Correct.

0:22:50.890 --> 0:22:54.060
<v Speaker 1>If it salvages a relationship, why not spend a little

0:22:54.069 --> 0:22:54.520
<v Speaker 1>money

0:22:54.660 --> 0:22:56.319
<v Speaker 2>moving in together also means

0:22:56.484 --> 0:22:59.974
<v Speaker 2>sharing the financial. You have to discuss how you're going

0:22:59.984 --> 0:23:02.064
<v Speaker 2>to share expenses. Is it split down the middle or

0:23:02.074 --> 0:23:04.104
<v Speaker 2>is it like this week? I get groceries next week

0:23:04.114 --> 0:23:06.165
<v Speaker 2>you get it or I'll pay for this one thing

0:23:06.175 --> 0:23:07.744
<v Speaker 2>you pay for this other thing, we don't have to

0:23:07.755 --> 0:23:10.484
<v Speaker 2>5050 but we both have to put in equal effort

0:23:10.494 --> 0:23:12.435
<v Speaker 2>because it's very unlikely that you and your partner make

0:23:12.444 --> 0:23:15.294
<v Speaker 2>the same amount of money. Right. Someone's always gonna pull

0:23:15.305 --> 0:23:16.844
<v Speaker 2>a bit more of the way. And that's ok. That

0:23:16.854 --> 0:23:20.275
<v Speaker 2>happens in most marriages. Yeah. The one thing though, I

0:23:20.285 --> 0:23:22.805
<v Speaker 2>would try to advise if it's possible for you within

0:23:22.814 --> 0:23:24.974
<v Speaker 2>your budget, within whatever place that you're renting or buying

0:23:24.984 --> 0:23:25.103
<v Speaker 2>or

0:23:25.599 --> 0:23:27.790
<v Speaker 2>wherever you stay with your partner. I think it's very

0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:31.399
<v Speaker 2>important to have two bathrooms carry on. I think it's

0:23:31.410 --> 0:23:36.109
<v Speaker 2>very important for the relationship to do your business separately.

0:23:36.130 --> 0:23:36.599
<v Speaker 2>Nobody else

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:38.040
<v Speaker 1>you do. You can you.

0:23:38.790 --> 0:23:42.500
<v Speaker 2>No, but it's different like having your own bathroom. It's

0:23:42.510 --> 0:23:45.530
<v Speaker 2>almost like having your own personal space. Like this is

0:23:45.540 --> 0:23:45.739
<v Speaker 2>my

0:23:45.926 --> 0:23:49.625
<v Speaker 2>my makeup, my skin care, my toothbrush, my everything. This

0:23:49.635 --> 0:23:52.285
<v Speaker 2>is my space only then he has his space. Is

0:23:52.296 --> 0:23:53.764
<v Speaker 2>that happening for you right now? Because his shit is

0:23:53.776 --> 0:23:55.875
<v Speaker 2>really messy. So I cannot take it every time I

0:23:55.885 --> 0:23:57.196
<v Speaker 2>go in there I pack right the next day is

0:23:57.205 --> 0:23:59.796
<v Speaker 2>messy again. So my stuff is very organized and this

0:23:59.806 --> 0:24:01.666
<v Speaker 2>is my space. I do my makeup here is like

0:24:01.676 --> 0:24:04.865
<v Speaker 2>my therapy session and I think it's very important because

0:24:04.875 --> 0:24:06.145
<v Speaker 2>even though you

0:24:06.362 --> 0:24:08.401
<v Speaker 2>you can say take turns right, sometimes you're rushing out

0:24:08.411 --> 0:24:10.901
<v Speaker 2>the house, right? One person's brushing the teeth, one person's

0:24:10.911 --> 0:24:13.151
<v Speaker 2>in the shower and then you're pumping parts in the

0:24:13.161 --> 0:24:16.001
<v Speaker 2>bathroom is just not as sexy as you think it is.

0:24:16.011 --> 0:24:16.212
<v Speaker 1>Well, I

0:24:16.222 --> 0:24:19.552
<v Speaker 1>once had a girlfriend who, because her partner was using

0:24:19.561 --> 0:24:21.611
<v Speaker 1>the toilet, they only have one toilet in the house

0:24:21.621 --> 0:24:23.791
<v Speaker 1>so she couldn't use it. Right. So she had to

0:24:23.802 --> 0:24:26.462
<v Speaker 1>go downstairs to the, they say the condo

0:24:26.790 --> 0:24:29.649
<v Speaker 1>like to the public toilet downstairs, do a business and

0:24:29.660 --> 0:24:32.709
<v Speaker 1>then leave for work from there. So it's like you

0:24:32.719 --> 0:24:35.129
<v Speaker 1>have along the way kind of thing. She had that

0:24:35.140 --> 0:24:38.619
<v Speaker 1>all planned out, right? But interesting, a bit inconvenient that

0:24:38.630 --> 0:24:39.800
<v Speaker 1>I agree. Yeah.

0:24:39.810 --> 0:24:42.640
<v Speaker 2>So some tips and advice before we leave you to

0:24:42.650 --> 0:24:46.660
<v Speaker 2>cohabitate with your partner, have a very thorough and proper

0:24:46.670 --> 0:24:50.669
<v Speaker 2>discussion about why you want to live together. And you know,

0:24:50.930 --> 0:24:53.010
<v Speaker 2>what kind of living habits can you

0:24:53.097 --> 0:24:54.526
<v Speaker 2>debt to each other? They

0:24:54.536 --> 0:24:55.156
<v Speaker 1>just make

0:24:55.166 --> 0:24:58.396
<v Speaker 1>sure your intentions are aligned, your goals are aligned and

0:24:58.406 --> 0:25:00.755
<v Speaker 1>always remember, conflicts are normal.

0:25:01.016 --> 0:25:05.296
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you need a very open channel of communication. That's right.

0:25:05.436 --> 0:25:07.966
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you can start small. So don't just like move

0:25:07.977 --> 0:25:09.977
<v Speaker 2>in right away, start by. I think this is what

0:25:09.987 --> 0:25:12.217
<v Speaker 2>happened with me also. Like I was saying like one

0:25:12.227 --> 0:25:14.087
<v Speaker 2>night a week, then two nights, three nights, four nights,

0:25:14.097 --> 0:25:17.276
<v Speaker 2>five nights, six nights. Can I move in? You know,

0:25:17.286 --> 0:25:19.357
<v Speaker 2>it was gradual and my stuff

0:25:19.443 --> 0:25:21.263
<v Speaker 2>also started moving in very grudge

0:25:23.104 --> 0:25:23.423
<v Speaker 1>like the

0:25:23.763 --> 0:25:24.332
<v Speaker 2>easy take

0:25:24.343 --> 0:25:28.144
<v Speaker 1>over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also I think it's important

0:25:28.154 --> 0:25:31.693
<v Speaker 1>to respect each other's boundaries. Like we mentioned, cultural differences,

0:25:31.703 --> 0:25:35.504
<v Speaker 1>religious differences, so many differences that you have to iron out,

0:25:35.513 --> 0:25:38.673
<v Speaker 1>sit down and you just set the boundaries for yourself

0:25:38.683 --> 0:25:39.463
<v Speaker 1>and for your partner.

0:25:39.473 --> 0:25:42.183
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely. Well, you're a team at the end of the day.

0:25:42.203 --> 0:25:45.693
<v Speaker 2>It's not you versus each other. It's you versus the

0:25:45.791 --> 0:25:49.461
<v Speaker 2>world. Correct? You're not fighting each other. Exactly. We wish

0:25:49.470 --> 0:25:50.450
<v Speaker 2>you all the very best.

0:25:50.461 --> 0:25:54.100
<v Speaker 1>And if you are cohabiting with your partner, you have

0:25:54.109 --> 0:25:56.270
<v Speaker 1>any comments or thoughts you want to tell us we

0:25:56.281 --> 0:25:58.650
<v Speaker 1>be most happy to listen to them. Follow us on

0:25:58.661 --> 0:26:00.990
<v Speaker 1>Instagram at its gray.co. That's right.

0:26:01.000 --> 0:26:01.711
<v Speaker 2>You can listen to us on

0:26:01.720 --> 0:26:04.990
<v Speaker 2>Spotify, Apple Podcast me. Listen, turn on your notification and

0:26:05.000 --> 0:26:07.711
<v Speaker 2>we're on youtube as well. And yeah, I wish you

0:26:07.720 --> 0:26:11.970
<v Speaker 2>a very happy home. See you any time. Bye bye.