Speaker 1: Hi, it's our Ask Me Anything segment where we take
Speaker 1: on a work-related question that you have sent to us.
Speaker 1: Today's question was sent in by our listener Dan. Now,
Speaker 1: Dan thinks his colleague perceives him as a threat. Let
Speaker 1: me read Dan's question. I just joined a new company
Speaker 1: as a contractor. I possess some skill sets that are
Speaker 1: perceived as versatile and I have a postgraduate degree in
Speaker 1: a data related field.
Speaker 1: I think an incumbent employee sees me as a threat
Speaker 1: to her job. She's definitely uncooperative when it comes to work.
Speaker 1: She will say she doesn't understand my questions and ask
Speaker 1: me to think through the issues on my own. How
Speaker 1: can I manage such a situation and turn it around?
Speaker 2: Well, I think interestingly last week I had someone who
Speaker 2: asked me a similar question.
Speaker 1: So did you ask him in person?
Speaker 2: So I think when we are thinking about working in
Speaker 2: a workplace, especially when we are new, we often want
Speaker 2: to look for people who can be our friends and
Speaker 2: at least be cooperative and supportive in our work, but
Speaker 2: that doesn't always happen. In this particular case, there are
Speaker 2: multiple things that in my mind, right? One.
Speaker 2: Then it's not an employee, he's a contractor. I'm not
Speaker 2: sure what that means. What's the difference in the
Speaker 1: work and seen as
Speaker 2: less as an outsider. Maybe that's why the colleague feels
Speaker 2: a certain way towards him. Could be, could be, or
Speaker 2: maybe there could be other things that Dan did that
Speaker 2: the colleague didn't really like.
Speaker 1: So rub the off the wrong way. In Dan's mind,
Speaker 1: it sounds like it could be an education thing because
Speaker 1: he did mention the postgraduate degree. I mean, it may
Speaker 1: May not be a reason for this colleague to feel
Speaker 1: that he's a threat. So
Speaker 2: there are many reasons why someone would not be cooperative
Speaker 2: and I think our minds can stretch very far towards
Speaker 2: why what did we do wrong and you know, is
Speaker 2: there any way that we can salvage that relationship? One
Speaker 2: thing that I think Dan can try is to really
Speaker 2: think about how to season the working relationship with better
Speaker 2: like you know pepper, yeah, you want to marinate that
Speaker 2: meat a little bit more, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so you
Speaker 1: see your colleague as a piece of meat.
Speaker 1: But OK,
Speaker 2: continue. Yeah, so maybe like find some common ground, find
Speaker 2: some common topics. Small talk, I think is really important.
Speaker 2: If today you're new and you are seen as a
Speaker 2: little bit of an outsider, seen as a bit as
Speaker 2: a threat, I think try to find some small talk
Speaker 2: to season that relationship, then could ask a little bit
Speaker 2: more about this colleague's work itself, not asking for the
Speaker 2: colleague for help, but maybe commenting about wow, you did
Speaker 2: a great job on this piece of work.
Speaker 1: Would I come across as fake though, like, you know, like, wow,
Speaker 1: good job.
Speaker 1: So,
Speaker 2: so that's why the seasoning needs to be done nicely
Speaker 2: so that
Speaker 1: they can see that you're very authentic and you mean
Speaker 1: what you say. Yes,
Speaker 2: correct. So you cannot come across as patronizing or you're
Speaker 2: trying to do something to get into the Kalis good books.
Speaker 2: I think be genuine about it, right? Like to say that, well, really,
Speaker 2: I'm really very impressed with this piece of work, wow,
Speaker 2: thank you for helping me on this part. I think
Speaker 2: these are small little things that you can do to
Speaker 2: set up the working relationship. So that's the first thing, right,
Speaker 2: seasoning it.
Speaker 2: Then the second thing perhaps is to fine tune. So
Speaker 2: where there are specific instances where Dan and his colleague
Speaker 2: had a run in or they maybe they have some disagreements,
Speaker 2: it's important to have some clarity and some communication about it, right?
Speaker 2: For example, when the colleague says that you go and
Speaker 2: think about it by yourself, right? I'm not sure whether
Speaker 2: it's possible for them to explain a little bit more
Speaker 2: why this is a bit of a challenge to do.
Speaker 2: And then also maybe to ask that colleague, could you
Speaker 2: maybe clarify a little bit for me like when you
Speaker 2: say go and think on your own, like, is there
Speaker 2: something that you think I should be doing on my own?
Speaker 2: or what's my part to play in this? And then
Speaker 2: also what I hope you can help me for this
Speaker 2: particular work piece. So ask for some
Speaker 2: clarity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also I think it's OK to show a
Speaker 1: bit of vulnerability as well. If Dan is really clueless
Speaker 1: when your colleague says something like this, which
Speaker 1: Sounds quite passive aggressive, then can just go, oh, actually
Speaker 1: I really don't know and I kind of need help.
Speaker 1: Do you mind
Speaker 1: helping me?
Speaker 2: Yes, I think it makes a lot of sense because
Speaker 2: Dan's question reveals a little bit about how maybe he's
Speaker 2: seen the track because maybe he has more education and
Speaker 2: perhaps the colleague is thinking, oh, you should know this one,
Speaker 2: you're already at a higher level of education than me.
Speaker 2: So maybe a parent a bit vulnerable allows a colleague
Speaker 2: to
Speaker 2: her gut as well. Yeah, so I do think that
Speaker 2: there is some merit to season the relationship and then
Speaker 2: after fine tune, I think the fine tuning is important
Speaker 2: and the fine tuning process, try to find win-win. Lots
Speaker 2: of ways to clarify, but it's important for them to
Speaker 2: ask how she sees it and how he sees it
Speaker 2: as well, and to try to see how can we
Speaker 2: make this working relationship work for us both. Lastly, I
Speaker 2: think time is also important.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, yeah, you just need time to let the person
Speaker 1: get to know you
Speaker 1: better.
Speaker 2: My own personal observations of many situations like this when
Speaker 2: newcomers join in and then they had a harder time
Speaker 2: to blend in. After a while, it somehow just works
Speaker 2: itself out. Maybe it's because someone else newer will come in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then after that, then then seen as a
Speaker 2: regular already.
Speaker 1: I think that Dan can also ask this person for
Speaker 1: advice in terms of their institutional knowledge, because Dan is new,
Speaker 1: so Dan can always just say, actually I don't know
Speaker 1: how y'all would do this in this company and I'm
Speaker 1: still learning. Give me some background or some history so
Speaker 1: that I can do my job better. If this colleague
Speaker 1: does feel a bit insecure that Dan does have more.
Speaker 1: then this colleague will feel that actually I have something
Speaker 1: to bring to the table, that legacy knowledge. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's part of the seasoning and fine tuning process.
Speaker 1: So Dan, I hope that this chilly situation you have
Speaker 1: with your colleague will get better soon. And if like Dan,
Speaker 1: you have a work-related question, do write it to us.
Speaker 1: We are at CNA podcast at Mediacorp.com.sg. This podcast is
Speaker 1: also available on
Speaker 1: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, me listen, YouTube, where a video version
Speaker 1: of this is at. The team behind the Work It
Speaker 1: podcast is Hoeing, Jeanini Johari, Joanne Chan, Saya Win, Allison Jenner,
Speaker 1: and Shahza Dalela. Video by Hanida Amin. I'm Gerald and
Speaker 1: I'm Tiffany. Have a great work week ahead and be
Speaker 1: an ally to that colleague of yours. It'll make everyone's
Speaker 1: day better.