1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:02,679 Speaker 1: He says all its pin and I'm Jermaine and welcome 2 00:00:02,690 --> 00:00:04,550 Speaker 1: back to another episode of cities. 3 00:00:06,599 --> 00:00:08,850 Speaker 1: You know, a comment on our youtube video. Had it 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,180 Speaker 1: make PD mean a Perma role. 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:17,149 Speaker 2: JJ. Shout out to my friends. That's, that's so where 6 00:00:17,159 --> 00:00:19,939 Speaker 2: is the Z? You might be wondering? Well, here's the story. 7 00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:23,020 Speaker 2: I actually forced her to go to the dentist and 8 00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:25,500 Speaker 2: you succeeded. I succeeded. But then that's why she's not 9 00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:27,860 Speaker 2: here because they found out that she has an infected 10 00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:31,229 Speaker 2: wisdom tooth and they had to extract it. So sorry, 11 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,330 Speaker 2: it's my fault. She's not here, but it's for the 12 00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:34,388 Speaker 2: betterment of her health. 13 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,139 Speaker 1: Yes, I fully agree. And 14 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,819 Speaker 1: today we're going to be talking about something called regret 15 00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:42,089 Speaker 1: because we did an episode previously. And so many of 16 00:00:42,098 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: you had so many regrets, we read all your comments. 17 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:47,278 Speaker 1: But before that, I want to just read it out 18 00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:50,259 Speaker 1: to you the description of today's episode because I find 19 00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:52,889 Speaker 1: it super compelling. This is what it says in a 20 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: world that champions can live without regrets. It's sometimes OK 21 00:00:56,009 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: to admit we have regrets at times, our regrets shape 22 00:00:59,090 --> 00:00:59,500 Speaker 1: us 23 00:00:59,595 --> 00:01:03,044 Speaker 1: sometimes uncomfortably. So what if we can find comfort and 24 00:01:03,055 --> 00:01:07,143 Speaker 1: wisdom in sharing our confessions of love loss and lessons learned. 25 00:01:07,385 --> 00:01:11,574 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Hush podcast where anonymity is sacred and 26 00:01:11,584 --> 00:01:15,595 Speaker 2: confessions are buried in the hush curls burn book and 27 00:01:15,605 --> 00:01:18,584 Speaker 2: join us as we explore the raw and real stories 28 00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:19,614 Speaker 2: that make us human 29 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:22,334 Speaker 1: who wrote this description very nicely. 30 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,628 Speaker 2: PD Mary. That's right. So today, as we explore that 31 00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:27,610 Speaker 2: and open up the burn book, we are going to 32 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,970 Speaker 2: be reading some confessions and stories as well from people 33 00:01:30,980 --> 00:01:33,690 Speaker 2: online and people from our Instagram. I mean, we read 34 00:01:33,699 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 2: all of your regrets, but it's ok to have regrets sometimes, 35 00:01:37,459 --> 00:01:40,050 Speaker 2: but there are two main kinds of regrets, regret that 36 00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:44,330 Speaker 2: you did something right? Or regret that you didn't do something, 37 00:01:44,349 --> 00:01:45,819 Speaker 2: which is worse. It's got 38 00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:45,889 Speaker 1: to 39 00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:47,605 Speaker 1: the less for me it's going to be a second one. 40 00:01:47,614 --> 00:01:48,074 Speaker 1: Regret 41 00:01:48,084 --> 00:01:51,205 Speaker 2: that you didn't do something, right? Because you never know 42 00:01:51,214 --> 00:01:53,464 Speaker 2: or you'll never have answer because you never do that thing, right? 43 00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:55,565 Speaker 2: So you don't know the outcome of it. And then 44 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,205 Speaker 2: you will always be left wondering what if I had 45 00:01:58,214 --> 00:01:58,875 Speaker 2: done that? 46 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,824 Speaker 1: I hate asking myself what if, what if there was 47 00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,974 Speaker 1: one time I had to bungee jump. This is for 48 00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:06,455 Speaker 1: a show that I was hosting and oh my God, 49 00:02:06,464 --> 00:02:09,085 Speaker 1: it took me so much to just jump off that building. 50 00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:12,119 Speaker 1: But you know what if I hadn't jumped off, I 51 00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:13,948 Speaker 1: think to this very, I'll keep thinking about it like 52 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,669 Speaker 1: why didn't I do it. Why didn't I do it? 53 00:02:15,679 --> 00:02:16,410 Speaker 1: You would regret 54 00:02:16,419 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: not having done 55 00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:19,470 Speaker 1: it. Correct. But now that I've done it, I know 56 00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:21,610 Speaker 1: that I would never do it again. But at least 57 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,410 Speaker 1: I have no regrets. No, 58 00:02:23,419 --> 00:02:26,638 Speaker 2: that is true. And there are some regrets though that 59 00:02:26,649 --> 00:02:27,609 Speaker 2: are really quite, 60 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:30,229 Speaker 2: quite sad that we've seen online and we'll share with 61 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,419 Speaker 2: you some of our personal regrets as well. But there's 62 00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,990 Speaker 2: this one that I want to read to you. Ok. 63 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,309 Speaker 2: This person says about five years into my marriage with 64 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,710 Speaker 2: my wife. We had a series of major fights about 65 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,279 Speaker 2: where our lives were headed. This is the 66 00:02:45,389 --> 00:02:48,330 Speaker 2: five year mark, right? In relationships where you're like, oh shit, 67 00:02:48,339 --> 00:02:50,529 Speaker 2: where are we going? Like, do we have a future together? 68 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,410 Speaker 2: Are we going to get married? So I actually brought 69 00:02:53,419 --> 00:02:58,449 Speaker 2: up getting divorced six years since then, we've solved our problems. 70 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 2: But I still think about that moment with a lot 71 00:03:00,649 --> 00:03:02,769 Speaker 2: of guilt that I ever brought up. 72 00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:07,199 Speaker 2: The idea of getting divorced. Sometimes when you say words, 73 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:09,100 Speaker 2: you can't take them back. But I've always 74 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,690 Speaker 1: believed that maybe at that point in time, you believe 75 00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:14,529 Speaker 1: that that was the solution for you getting a divorce. 76 00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:17,179 Speaker 1: But maybe it's because after you said it, you realize 77 00:03:17,190 --> 00:03:19,699 Speaker 1: that things have gotten to this stage is bad. You're 78 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:21,399 Speaker 1: getting a divorce and this when you put it together 79 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:21,889 Speaker 1: to make things. 80 00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:24,365 Speaker 2: So you don't think that actually it's something to really 81 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:27,603 Speaker 2: regret having said, I think if they worked it out 82 00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:30,663 Speaker 2: or it changed the course of their relation, correct. It 83 00:03:30,675 --> 00:03:33,005 Speaker 2: might have benefited them. That's a good 84 00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:35,085 Speaker 1: way to put it. It's not something that I think 85 00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:37,354 Speaker 1: people should say lightly. But, you know, I have a 86 00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:39,085 Speaker 1: friend recently. She was just telling me she was in 87 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,845 Speaker 1: this like three years relationship 88 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:43,089 Speaker 1: and at one point she had brought up a breakup 89 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: with the boyfriend. But at this point they have a 90 00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:48,330 Speaker 1: flat waiting for them. Like that's how serious a relationship was. 91 00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:50,690 Speaker 1: And when she initiated the breakup, I think the boyfriend 92 00:03:50,699 --> 00:03:53,910 Speaker 1: understood how much of an impact the negativity between them 93 00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,490 Speaker 1: has caused and they sat together to work things out 94 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:59,289 Speaker 1: and now she feels like their relationship is stronger than ever. 95 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,639 Speaker 1: So sometimes I feel like the words that are being 96 00:04:01,649 --> 00:04:02,190 Speaker 1: said actually, 97 00:04:02,365 --> 00:04:04,565 Speaker 1: like what PD means is can change the course of 98 00:04:04,576 --> 00:04:05,315 Speaker 1: the relationship. 99 00:04:05,326 --> 00:04:08,065 Speaker 2: Well, maybe not so much that, but this next one 100 00:04:08,076 --> 00:04:10,796 Speaker 2: you tell me if you would have any regrets about, ok, 101 00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:13,386 Speaker 2: if this was you, we were doing Secret Santa one 102 00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:15,945 Speaker 2: day with my family and you know, you open up 103 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:19,915 Speaker 2: the presence, right? Someone got candle holders. I turned to 104 00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:23,395 Speaker 2: my grandma and I said, wow, who gives candle 105 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: worst present ever? Guess who got the candle holders? Grandma? 106 00:04:31,451 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 2: Would you regret 107 00:04:32,451 --> 00:04:36,161 Speaker 1: that? You never know. Maybe grandma spend days and days 108 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:39,481 Speaker 1: thinking of what to get granddaughter 109 00:04:39,851 --> 00:04:41,801 Speaker 2: and like he said it to his grandma. Like this 110 00:04:41,812 --> 00:04:44,282 Speaker 2: is the worst present ever. She must be like 111 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:48,369 Speaker 2: heartbroken. Sometimes. It's better to in most things in life, 112 00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:51,328 Speaker 2: it's better to just keep quiet. First, think about it first. 113 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:54,909 Speaker 2: Observe the situation before you say something you regret. Girls. 114 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,950 Speaker 1: Let's play a little scenario based scheme. Ok. How would 115 00:04:57,959 --> 00:05:02,220 Speaker 1: you respond to these situations without regret? OK. So this 116 00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:04,489 Speaker 1: is how the scenario goes, close friends with a couple. 117 00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:05,904 Speaker 1: They are called Rose and Jack. 118 00:05:06,545 --> 00:05:08,294 Speaker 2: Those names sound familiar. 119 00:05:08,303 --> 00:05:13,274 Speaker 1: Right. Scenario one, you caught Jack cheating on Rose by 120 00:05:13,285 --> 00:05:15,315 Speaker 1: your closer. Both them are bear in mind. What would 121 00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:15,613 Speaker 1: you do? 122 00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:19,674 Speaker 2: I'm a girl's girl. So I would tell my girlfriend first. No, 123 00:05:19,684 --> 00:05:22,984 Speaker 2: I've been in this situation before. They really, yeah, they 124 00:05:23,005 --> 00:05:23,825 Speaker 2: still together though. 125 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:29,890 Speaker 2: But the relationship wasn't like it wasn't clearly defined outline 126 00:05:29,899 --> 00:05:31,940 Speaker 2: as a relationship. It was more like a situation, but 127 00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:36,349 Speaker 2: both of them are very close friends and I hope 128 00:05:36,359 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: they don't listen to this. Um, what I did was 129 00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:44,769 Speaker 2: I actually tried to without breaking the confidentiality with my 130 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:45,399 Speaker 2: guy friend. 131 00:05:45,609 --> 00:05:48,269 Speaker 2: I tried to hint to the girl that there may 132 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,950 Speaker 2: be something wrong. Ok. And I tried to give her advice. 133 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,829 Speaker 2: Like I think you need to be a bit more 134 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,570 Speaker 2: practical and see what it really is, see what's happening 135 00:05:56,579 --> 00:05:57,309 Speaker 2: in front of you 136 00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:01,510 Speaker 2: and maybe decide for yourself if this is a situation 137 00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:03,369 Speaker 2: I want to stay in. I didn't just outrightly say 138 00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:06,959 Speaker 2: to her. I know this is happening but it's hard 139 00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:09,850 Speaker 2: because you're friends with both of them. What do you do? 140 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,609 Speaker 2: It's a sucky situation to be 141 00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:16,100 Speaker 1: in. It is ok. Scenario to even sucky situation Jack 142 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: and Rose are getting married in one week and you 143 00:06:18,649 --> 00:06:20,618 Speaker 1: caught Jack cheating. Jack. 144 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,649 Speaker 2: What's wrong with you? 145 00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:24,332 Speaker 2: You're going to get married 146 00:06:24,822 --> 00:06:27,842 Speaker 1: in a week's time. I think I will tell Rose 147 00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:30,363 Speaker 1: because getting married is lifelong. Count your blessings that you 148 00:06:30,372 --> 00:06:32,892 Speaker 1: haven't gotten married yet. It's not too late to hold 149 00:06:32,903 --> 00:06:35,662 Speaker 1: your horses and cancel it. That's what I think in 150 00:06:35,673 --> 00:06:38,523 Speaker 2: this scenario, I feel like I will talk to Jack 151 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,733 Speaker 2: and then I asked him to like get shit together 152 00:06:41,053 --> 00:06:43,472 Speaker 2: and I give him an ultimatum. I think you need 153 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:46,541 Speaker 2: to tell Rose because like it's not fair to her. 154 00:06:46,553 --> 00:06:47,743 Speaker 2: And I think in, 155 00:06:47,855 --> 00:06:49,664 Speaker 2: in this case, he needs to be the one who 156 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:53,044 Speaker 2: tells Rose that he, he messed up. And I don't 157 00:06:53,055 --> 00:06:54,734 Speaker 2: think I have the right to go to Rose and 158 00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:57,115 Speaker 2: tell her that cause that will perhaps break her the 159 00:06:57,126 --> 00:07:00,026 Speaker 2: impression she have of this relationship and it could affect 160 00:07:00,036 --> 00:07:02,335 Speaker 2: your friendship as well because sometimes it's like, don't shoot 161 00:07:02,346 --> 00:07:05,466 Speaker 2: the messenger. But you know it still happens. Actually, this 162 00:07:05,476 --> 00:07:07,715 Speaker 2: happened with one of my hey, no, no, no, no, no. 163 00:07:07,726 --> 00:07:09,876 Speaker 2: Your experience is good. OK? I'm not supposed to know 164 00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:11,876 Speaker 2: this but somebody told me right? Like my ex was 165 00:07:11,885 --> 00:07:12,585 Speaker 2: involved in this. 166 00:07:13,239 --> 00:07:18,140 Speaker 2: Um, not getting married or anything but same situation, right? So, 167 00:07:18,149 --> 00:07:20,630 Speaker 2: knowing that this guy has cheated on the girl, right? 168 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,070 Speaker 2: In some way, the third party, the friend said to 169 00:07:23,079 --> 00:07:25,829 Speaker 2: him you need to tell your girlfriend that this happened. 170 00:07:25,839 --> 00:07:27,570 Speaker 2: If not, I'm going to tell myself 171 00:07:28,529 --> 00:07:32,109 Speaker 2: straight up. Yes. Because if you have the balls to cheat, right? 172 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: You better have the balls to have a girlfriend or 173 00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 2: fiance in Jack and Rose's case. That's bad question coming 174 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,549 Speaker 2: in from PD Mary. Ok, let's say you're the one 175 00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 2: getting married. Ok. We are the brides. We're getting married 176 00:07:45,929 --> 00:07:50,010 Speaker 2: in one week and our friend, our close friend catches 177 00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:52,470 Speaker 2: our husband cheating on us. Future husband. 178 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,390 Speaker 2: This is one week to the wedding. Would you want 179 00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 2: your friend to tell you one week before the wedding 180 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,869 Speaker 2: or after the wedding? It's not even a question of, 181 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,769 Speaker 2: should she tell you? But should she tell you before 182 00:08:02,779 --> 00:08:05,850 Speaker 2: that or after that before that? For sure. Before 183 00:08:05,859 --> 00:08:07,540 Speaker 1: that I would cancel them when 184 00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 2: one week to the wedding, you would cancel, cancel, same. 185 00:08:10,609 --> 00:08:11,709 Speaker 2: I also cancel. I don't 186 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,570 Speaker 1: believe this guy is worthy of my happiness. 187 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,555 Speaker 1: Love yourself ladies. Yes. Yes. Yes. 188 00:08:15,656 --> 00:08:18,536 Speaker 2: It's true. It's true because I mean, it will be 189 00:08:18,545 --> 00:08:21,816 Speaker 2: quite sad if like, let's say you decide to work 190 00:08:21,825 --> 00:08:24,235 Speaker 2: it out anyways. But then on the wedding day you're like, 191 00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:26,196 Speaker 2: it's not the most beautiful day of your life because 192 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,786 Speaker 2: you're like, what did I sign up? For it. Was 193 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:29,865 Speaker 2: this the right choice? 194 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,685 Speaker 1: But I respect that. But then again, it's your choice 195 00:08:32,695 --> 00:08:34,546 Speaker 1: to proceed to move on. Then you 196 00:08:34,631 --> 00:08:37,531 Speaker 1: have to sort of navigate your own emotions. Yeah. 197 00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:41,351 Speaker 2: What about you? What would you mean? Why cancel the wedding? 198 00:08:41,381 --> 00:08:45,892 Speaker 2: It depends. Would you prefer to know afterwards? No, I 199 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,702 Speaker 2: have to know before so that I can make that choice. Correct. 200 00:08:48,711 --> 00:08:51,182 Speaker 2: Should I cancel or should I not? Correct. Correct. I 201 00:08:51,192 --> 00:08:54,521 Speaker 2: agree that everybody that sucks. Ok. 202 00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:58,260 Speaker 1: Ok. Let me change out this scenario a bit. Ok. 203 00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:00,348 Speaker 1: So all this time it's been Jack cheating a Rose. 204 00:09:00,359 --> 00:09:03,650 Speaker 1: What if Rose is cheating on Jack? What would we 205 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:03,919 Speaker 1: do 206 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:06,900 Speaker 2: if Rose cheated on Jack? I will sit her down 207 00:09:06,909 --> 00:09:09,510 Speaker 2: nicely and I'll ask her why and then I'll make 208 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,419 Speaker 2: her tell me like all these, all her reasons, right? 209 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,710 Speaker 2: And I'll try to rationalize with her. Ok. So do 210 00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:16,340 Speaker 2: you think this guy is not good for you then 211 00:09:16,349 --> 00:09:18,218 Speaker 2: do you want to? Ok. And it also depends on 212 00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:20,179 Speaker 2: the guy, is the guy a good guy or is 213 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,630 Speaker 2: the guy a bad guy? If the guy is a 214 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:22,140 Speaker 2: good guy, 215 00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:26,276 Speaker 2: like maybe like you should rethink like your decision like it, 216 00:09:26,285 --> 00:09:28,325 Speaker 2: either you stop or you tell your boyfriend you messed 217 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,486 Speaker 2: up also. And then see back and ask for forgiveness. 218 00:09:30,495 --> 00:09:33,205 Speaker 1: Correct. Correct. Actually, I feel like I'm with p on 219 00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:35,866 Speaker 1: this one, my instincts would be to protect my girlfriend first. 220 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,895 Speaker 1: Not tell the guy first but actually sit her down 221 00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:40,426 Speaker 1: and run through what's going on in her mind. Why, 222 00:09:40,434 --> 00:09:42,776 Speaker 1: why is she cheating on her current boyfriend if it's 223 00:09:42,785 --> 00:09:45,915 Speaker 1: a healthy relationship? Because it clearly shows that something is 224 00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,966 Speaker 1: not working on this relationship. And then do you want 225 00:09:47,976 --> 00:09:48,856 Speaker 1: to work it out before you get married? 226 00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:49,771 Speaker 1: Read or 227 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:52,752 Speaker 2: what? I know it sounds, you know, a lot easier 228 00:09:52,761 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 2: said than done. Correct. But in a lot of real 229 00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:57,752 Speaker 2: life situations, I found that people tend to stay out 230 00:09:57,761 --> 00:10:00,892 Speaker 2: of it. Like even in real life situations where you know, 231 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: your sibling is getting cheated on by their partner, an 232 00:10:05,052 --> 00:10:08,492 Speaker 2: actual situation that I know of. But you as a sibling, 233 00:10:08,502 --> 00:10:12,012 Speaker 2: stay out of it and don't tell them anything because 234 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:15,290 Speaker 2: you feel like who are you to break up someone's marriage? Yeah. 235 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,210 Speaker 2: But then will you regret not saying anything or will 236 00:10:18,219 --> 00:10:20,630 Speaker 2: you regret? Right? You never know. Yeah. 237 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,099 Speaker 1: But if I was saying I would love for my 238 00:10:23,109 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 1: siblings to tell me, I feel like honesty is still 239 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:29,478 Speaker 1: the best policy. Ok? This is a story that we 240 00:10:29,489 --> 00:10:32,479 Speaker 1: found online, but I think it is mind boggling. So 241 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,849 Speaker 1: this person says the basic story is that I've been 242 00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:36,919 Speaker 1: best friends with this guy for a decade and a half. 243 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,210 Speaker 1: So that's 15 years ago. We've been through a lot together. 244 00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 1: He has helped me through many personal struggles, letting me 245 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: stay as it plays when I need a place to 246 00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: stay in return. I help him through his mother 247 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:48,289 Speaker 1: gave him leads to learn a great job and have 248 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,679 Speaker 1: taken care of his pets. All this is saying we 249 00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:53,419 Speaker 1: are very, very close for the past year. He has 250 00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:55,929 Speaker 1: been dating a woman who is now pregnant. He plans 251 00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 1: on marrying her, he loves her and he's excited to 252 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,770 Speaker 1: be a father and to start a family. I am 253 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:04,030 Speaker 1: happy to see him happy. However, I now know that 254 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: his girlfriend and future wife cheated on him as far 255 00:11:07,849 --> 00:11:09,900 Speaker 1: as four or five months ago. 256 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,590 Speaker 1: I know this because another mutual friend of ours confessed 257 00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:15,199 Speaker 1: to me that he had sex with her multiple times 258 00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:17,659 Speaker 1: and he feels guilty because now the relationship is getting 259 00:11:17,669 --> 00:11:18,900 Speaker 1: even more serious. 260 00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:23,190 Speaker 1: He also thinks that the baby may not be my 261 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:28,030 Speaker 1: best friend because the girlfriend apparently had relations with other 262 00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:31,530 Speaker 1: guys after the affair was over. So here's the kicker. 263 00:11:32,549 --> 00:11:35,739 Speaker 1: That's not all here. Ok. Ok. The cheater friend who 264 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:38,539 Speaker 1: told me this saw me to secrecy and showed me 265 00:11:38,549 --> 00:11:41,099 Speaker 1: text where the girlfriend told him she's faithful to my 266 00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:43,469 Speaker 1: best friend now and she's trying to move forward into 267 00:11:43,479 --> 00:11:45,429 Speaker 1: new life with a best friend, right? 268 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,159 Speaker 1: She says that the baby is the best friends and 269 00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:52,039 Speaker 1: asked the cheater to please stay quiet. And this person 270 00:11:52,049 --> 00:11:55,609 Speaker 1: who wrote this passage actually also mentioned that she told 271 00:11:55,619 --> 00:11:58,750 Speaker 1: the person, sister about her decision to not tell the 272 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 1: best friend anything and her sister was disgusted because she 273 00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: felt like your best friend has done so much for 274 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,559 Speaker 1: you for the past 15 years. Why wouldn't you tell 275 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:08,719 Speaker 1: him the truth? But from the author's point of view, 276 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 1: she loves her best friend so much that she doesn't 277 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,968 Speaker 1: want to take away this shot of happiness from 278 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:17,329 Speaker 2: him. This is such a dysfunctional but also very difficult 279 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:21,719 Speaker 2: situation to be in where your best friend is getting 280 00:12:21,729 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 2: cheated on with your other. Like and then it's your 281 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:28,150 Speaker 2: other friend that's involved in it. Correct. This is why 282 00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:29,809 Speaker 2: we take some secret style grief, right? 283 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:31,309 Speaker 1: Actually, 284 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,489 Speaker 2: that's true. It's very hard for me. I think if, 285 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,919 Speaker 2: if she said, you know, I really want to double down, 286 00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:38,809 Speaker 2: buckle down and 287 00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,059 Speaker 2: stay faithful, I would give it a try. Me too, 288 00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:43,859 Speaker 1: especially since my best friend is so in love with 289 00:12:43,869 --> 00:12:45,718 Speaker 1: this girl. Right? I will give it a try, but 290 00:12:45,729 --> 00:12:48,150 Speaker 1: I cannot get over that question of whether the baby 291 00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:50,239 Speaker 1: is really my best friends. I mean, imagine if it 292 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,460 Speaker 1: wasn't you. 293 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:54,228 Speaker 2: That's, I mean, when the baby is out, I'd be like, 294 00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:57,468 Speaker 2: you know, let's listen to swap, send it for paternity 295 00:12:57,479 --> 00:13:00,590 Speaker 2: test when you have the inheritance battle then like we 296 00:13:00,599 --> 00:13:01,700 Speaker 2: bring in the DNA test. 297 00:13:01,793 --> 00:13:05,932 Speaker 2: Oh, wow. That, that, that, yeah, that's the really, really 298 00:13:05,942 --> 00:13:08,723 Speaker 2: tricky part. Just be glad that you're not in any 299 00:13:08,732 --> 00:13:11,622 Speaker 2: kind of situation like that or pray that we won't 300 00:13:11,631 --> 00:13:13,862 Speaker 2: ever be faced with a situation like that. 301 00:13:13,872 --> 00:13:14,752 Speaker 1: Any thoughts about this? 302 00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:17,812 Speaker 2: I would also not tell the best friend I think, 303 00:13:18,203 --> 00:13:21,051 Speaker 2: depending on how happy the best friend is. I think 304 00:13:21,062 --> 00:13:23,982 Speaker 2: I'll want to keep his happiness. And 305 00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:27,185 Speaker 2: if there's a day he finds out that the fiance 306 00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:29,385 Speaker 2: cheat on him that when that happens, I think as 307 00:13:29,395 --> 00:13:31,245 Speaker 2: a best friend, I will be there to comfort him 308 00:13:31,255 --> 00:13:33,335 Speaker 2: and give him the support that he needs. But I 309 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,776 Speaker 2: also wouldn't tell him she cheated on you many years ago. 310 00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:37,505 Speaker 2: I would just be ok. Yeah. Ok. Because I don't 311 00:13:37,515 --> 00:13:40,325 Speaker 2: think I need to add her flipping it around. Now, 312 00:13:40,335 --> 00:13:42,286 Speaker 2: you are the best friend you are getting cheated on. 313 00:13:42,296 --> 00:13:44,895 Speaker 2: Would you want to know? I would yell. So why 314 00:13:44,905 --> 00:13:47,116 Speaker 2: is that double standard? Why is it that 315 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,140 Speaker 2: we cannot tell the person? But if we are the person, 316 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:52,609 Speaker 2: we want to know, but then the friend will suffer 317 00:13:52,619 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 2: even more knowing that all these years this girl have 318 00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,890 Speaker 2: been cheating. But if you're the best friend, would you 319 00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:57,429 Speaker 2: want to know? 320 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,718 Speaker 1: It's funny because recently I sat down with a guy 321 00:14:00,729 --> 00:14:03,069 Speaker 1: friend of mine and we were talking about relationships and 322 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,539 Speaker 1: he had mentioned that he feels tempted 323 00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:08,169 Speaker 1: are inevitable in any relationship. So I asked then how 324 00:14:08,179 --> 00:14:10,030 Speaker 1: come so many guys do cheat on their girlfriends? And 325 00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:12,830 Speaker 1: he says he feels like the key is to not 326 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,718 Speaker 1: put yourself into potential failures or like situations where you 327 00:14:17,729 --> 00:14:21,510 Speaker 1: might give into temptations, let's say texting a girl 328 00:14:22,369 --> 00:14:25,340 Speaker 1: maybe like five times a week, maybe that crosses certain lines, 329 00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:27,549 Speaker 1: certain boundaries because when emotions get in the way, then 330 00:14:27,559 --> 00:14:30,070 Speaker 1: it's easier for you to cheat, right? He feels like 331 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,859 Speaker 1: the little things actually contribute to the act of cheating 332 00:14:32,869 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: in the end. So if you can stay away from 333 00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:37,070 Speaker 1: the very start, then you wouldn't put yourself into that situation. 334 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,309 Speaker 2: What if your friend's boyfriend starts flirting with you starts 335 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,909 Speaker 2: to fire react to your Instagram stories. Replying like, 336 00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:47,210 Speaker 2: oh you look good today. You look cute today. I 337 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,039 Speaker 2: like the outfit on 338 00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:50,559 Speaker 1: you. You make it sound like this happened to you. No, no, no, no, no, 339 00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:50,719 Speaker 1: no 340 00:14:51,469 --> 00:14:56,650 Speaker 2: because I saw this influencer basically screenshotting fire reacts to 341 00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:58,780 Speaker 2: her story and people flirting with her and posting on 342 00:14:58,789 --> 00:15:02,820 Speaker 2: her Instagram story and then on these guys profile Instagram bio, 343 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:05,419 Speaker 2: it says like married with three kids like I love 344 00:15:05,429 --> 00:15:07,750 Speaker 2: my wife, things like that. So it gave me the 345 00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:11,140 Speaker 2: idea of what if this scenario happens, right? I would 346 00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 2: ignore you wouldn't tell your friend. 347 00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:15,159 Speaker 1: No, I don't think it's major enough for me to 348 00:15:15,169 --> 00:15:17,250 Speaker 1: tell my friend. You think is it major enough? It's 349 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:20,039 Speaker 1: just like emotions reactions. If he 350 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,049 Speaker 2: texts and flirts with you, then maybe I'll be like, 351 00:15:22,059 --> 00:15:24,909 Speaker 2: I'll tell a friend the boyfriend. Yeah. OK. You need 352 00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:29,090 Speaker 2: to chix but as much as I would also ignore 353 00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:30,210 Speaker 2: it because 354 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,039 Speaker 2: if you don't give a reaction is no reaction. Ah 355 00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 2: we could have a whole episode about what is, I 356 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:39,750 Speaker 2: think it's quite interesting, but let's take a step away 357 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,159 Speaker 2: from like love. Right. It could be anything under the sun. Right. 358 00:15:43,169 --> 00:15:45,700 Speaker 2: You girls have anything you regretted that you did or 359 00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:46,590 Speaker 2: you didn't do. I 360 00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:48,799 Speaker 1: think one of my biggest regret is not spending my 361 00:15:48,809 --> 00:15:53,299 Speaker 1: time wisely. I regret spending time talking to 362 00:15:53,979 --> 00:15:57,719 Speaker 1: people who I know like this relationship wouldn't blossom, wouldn't 363 00:15:57,729 --> 00:16:00,750 Speaker 1: work out. But I still did anyway, cost me a 364 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: few months of my time and then still, still went 365 00:16:03,969 --> 00:16:08,090 Speaker 1: down in flames. I regret that a lot. Like career wise, 366 00:16:08,099 --> 00:16:11,239 Speaker 1: I regret not putting my focus into certain things. Maybe 367 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,650 Speaker 1: I could have gotten to my end goal faster 368 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,669 Speaker 1: than my current pace. You know, it is the time 369 00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:21,020 Speaker 1: and energy management. There's a regret for me. But if 370 00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: I didn't experience it this way, I would never have grown. 371 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,390 Speaker 1: You wouldn't understand the 372 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:30,969 Speaker 2: concept. Yeah. What about you? Mine is not really a regret, 373 00:16:30,979 --> 00:16:35,609 Speaker 2: but it's a confession. I think I feel like in 374 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:39,369 Speaker 2: my recent years, I haven't been very kind to 375 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,929 Speaker 2: my immediate family. Like my mom, my dad, I don't 376 00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,690 Speaker 2: think I was the nicest person 377 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 2: because I was trying to break free or find my freedom, right? 378 00:16:50,849 --> 00:16:54,049 Speaker 2: So I think I put them on a very high standards. Like, 379 00:16:54,059 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 2: remember how Carrie that came on, we spoke about like 380 00:16:57,770 --> 00:17:00,599 Speaker 2: our parents, our relationship with our parents, right? Then she 381 00:17:00,609 --> 00:17:04,030 Speaker 2: told us to see our parents as humans, I think. 382 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:06,939 Speaker 2: Never in my life have I seen them as a 383 00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:09,479 Speaker 2: human that have their own life? And I think in 384 00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:10,438 Speaker 2: recent years 385 00:17:10,569 --> 00:17:14,389 Speaker 2: or recent months I've been learning. It's good to be 386 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,708 Speaker 2: aware of it. Right. And it's good to learn. It 387 00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:19,139 Speaker 2: was the first step. Correct. If not, then just your 388 00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:22,709 Speaker 2: whole life you would go on without realizing it. And, yeah, 389 00:17:22,719 --> 00:17:25,750 Speaker 1: you're only 20 something. There's still time to change to 390 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,609 Speaker 1: make a difference. Yeah. 391 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:29,390 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. So I think we're gonna slowly try. It's 392 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,550 Speaker 2: gonna be very difficult. So it links back to what 393 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,209 Speaker 2: I share the regrets episode. I broke free from like 394 00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:37,339 Speaker 2: the control that my parents had but I also have 395 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:37,589 Speaker 2: that 396 00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:41,448 Speaker 2: hint of like, OK, I perhaps I didn't, wasn't the 397 00:17:41,459 --> 00:17:43,938 Speaker 2: nicest daughter also. So 398 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:45,069 Speaker 1: the way you executed 399 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:48,300 Speaker 2: it maybe. Yeah, it's ok. I wasn't the nicest daughter either. 400 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:52,589 Speaker 2: Me neither. Yeah. Sorry, I tell you, everyone wants to 401 00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:55,130 Speaker 2: have a baby girl but baby girls grow up to 402 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:55,630 Speaker 2: be 403 00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:59,270 Speaker 2: bratty little shits for a couple of years and then, 404 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,469 Speaker 2: and then they come back to you. It's just, it's 405 00:18:02,479 --> 00:18:04,609 Speaker 2: just the cycle of life. I'm sure there are some 406 00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:06,750 Speaker 2: girls that don't go through that, but 407 00:18:07,579 --> 00:18:09,750 Speaker 2: most girls have a few years where you're a little 408 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,180 Speaker 2: bit rebellious. It's like in mean girls, right? Like, even 409 00:18:12,189 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 2: Regina was like quite mean to her mom. Like she 410 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,079 Speaker 2: was not very nice to her mom. 411 00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:20,188 Speaker 1: Don't get us wrong. We're not normalizing this. No, no, no, no, no. It's, 412 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: it's ok, experiences emotions and just try to change it 413 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,780 Speaker 1: as you grow. It's 414 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,079 Speaker 2: not the end of the world you can right your wrongs, right. 415 00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:32,339 Speaker 2: My regret has to do with my education actually. And 416 00:18:32,349 --> 00:18:35,079 Speaker 2: this actually just hit me very hard the other day 417 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 2: when 418 00:18:36,479 --> 00:18:38,780 Speaker 2: um because obviously I'm, I'm doing a bit of business 419 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:41,958 Speaker 2: now and I realized that I don't really have that 420 00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:45,250 Speaker 2: much business knowledge because I never studied it. And then 421 00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:48,140 Speaker 2: I thought back and I was lamenting right to Avery 422 00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,729 Speaker 2: in the studio. I was like, I feel so stupid 423 00:18:50,739 --> 00:18:52,890 Speaker 2: that I decided to take the same 424 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:57,079 Speaker 2: a course in both polytechnic and university, which is mass 425 00:18:57,089 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 2: communication and the media. So I basically took the same 426 00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:02,579 Speaker 2: thing for seven years of my life when I could 427 00:19:02,589 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 2: have learned a new skill, learn a new area of 428 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,750 Speaker 2: study and applied that to what I'm currently doing right now. 429 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,349 Speaker 2: But I did that because I knew it was the 430 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,688 Speaker 2: easy thing to do. I excelled at it because I 431 00:19:12,699 --> 00:19:13,599 Speaker 2: already knew it. 432 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,829 Speaker 2: It was a lazy way out. And I have a 433 00:19:15,839 --> 00:19:19,160 Speaker 2: lot of regrets about that. Such that now I'm thinking, 434 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:22,260 Speaker 2: do I need to further my studies to learn, go 435 00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 2: back and learn these things that I could have learned 436 00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:25,599 Speaker 2: when I was younger. 437 00:19:25,969 --> 00:19:28,139 Speaker 1: But hey, at that point, you might have thought that 438 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,260 Speaker 1: that interested you more if you had taken a business 439 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,939 Speaker 1: more at that time, maybe you would have failed it 440 00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:35,050 Speaker 1: because maybe at that point in time that Germaine was 441 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:36,909 Speaker 1: not interested in business, but now you're being put in 442 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,069 Speaker 1: a situation where congrats on the mall, by the way, 443 00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:43,239 Speaker 1: a more you open a new mall and there's so 444 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,199 Speaker 1: many business things to deal with. Now you're interested in 445 00:19:46,209 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 1: this aspect because you're actually in it. Right. That's true. 446 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 2: I could have been miserable if I did like 447 00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:54,224 Speaker 2: business administration in the past was miserable when I took 448 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:57,915 Speaker 2: my business model. So that's 449 00:19:57,925 --> 00:20:00,474 Speaker 1: true. But I think it's a good point that right 450 00:20:00,484 --> 00:20:02,734 Speaker 1: now you're thinking of furthering your studies. I think I 451 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:03,915 Speaker 1: would do so well. I 452 00:20:03,925 --> 00:20:05,563 Speaker 2: don't know. Let's see if I can find time to 453 00:20:05,574 --> 00:20:08,864 Speaker 2: do that. Actually someone on our Instagram said something very similar. 454 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:12,214 Speaker 2: My biggest regret in life would be letting my fears 455 00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:15,655 Speaker 2: choose my decisions. I really wanted to pursue media 456 00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:18,689 Speaker 2: since I was little. But as I grew older, you know, 457 00:20:18,699 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 2: people tell you medias don't make money. Media do business 458 00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:25,329 Speaker 2: is better, things like that. Um I decided to choose 459 00:20:25,339 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 2: it based on that instead of my passion. I ended 460 00:20:28,650 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 2: up choosing a course in poly that I was not 461 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:34,510 Speaker 2: interested in, not related to the media at all. And 462 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,250 Speaker 2: I regretted it so much. I'm entering my third year now, 463 00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:41,290 Speaker 2: but I really feel like I've lost my identity. I 464 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,530 Speaker 2: struggle to fit in and, 465 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,109 Speaker 2: you know, it's just, it's like a pain going to 466 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:46,899 Speaker 2: school every day. 467 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,589 Speaker 1: See, Jimmy, this could be you if you have chosen 468 00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:50,060 Speaker 1: a business mall. Exactly. 469 00:20:50,069 --> 00:20:51,900 Speaker 2: Yeah. So it gives me a bit of a perspective. 470 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:54,689 Speaker 2: Like maybe that was supposed to happen. Don't look back, 471 00:20:54,699 --> 00:20:56,349 Speaker 2: try not to regret. Let's see what we can do 472 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,619 Speaker 2: from here. But that 473 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,189 Speaker 2: the person that dropped the comment says she's also currently 474 00:21:00,199 --> 00:21:03,229 Speaker 2: doing her passion now, right? Even though she regretted, she 475 00:21:03,239 --> 00:21:06,069 Speaker 2: said she also found opportunities for her to like dabble 476 00:21:06,079 --> 00:21:09,050 Speaker 2: in all the media stuff. So yeah, I'm so glad 477 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,699 Speaker 2: that she's taking the opportunity to do something that she 478 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:15,819 Speaker 2: loves despite studying something completely different because I think ultimately 479 00:21:15,829 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: it will still add to the experiences and what we 480 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,959 Speaker 2: can put on our resume. Correct? 481 00:21:19,969 --> 00:21:22,300 Speaker 1: I believe like no matter what you study, it will 482 00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:22,579 Speaker 1: all 483 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,260 Speaker 1: always come in handy. You might not realize it now, 484 00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:27,810 Speaker 1: but sometime down the road, it might be useful to you. 485 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:31,250 Speaker 1: So we actually asked our harsh listeners, which one of 486 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 1: the following would you regret the most? Number one, working 487 00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:36,500 Speaker 1: so much at the expense of loved ones. Number two, 488 00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:39,469 Speaker 1: breaking up with your first love. Number three, living the 489 00:21:39,479 --> 00:21:42,250 Speaker 1: life that your parents want. Not you are your parents 490 00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:45,260 Speaker 1: and last but not least not applying for your dream job. 491 00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,339 Speaker 1: What came in first? Yes, 492 00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 2: not applying for your dream job would be my guess. 493 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:53,140 Speaker 2: What 494 00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 1: do you think? Breaking 495 00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:55,150 Speaker 2: up with your first love. 496 00:21:55,670 --> 00:21:57,589 Speaker 1: I thought, I think it would like rank last. Ok. 497 00:21:57,630 --> 00:21:59,050 Speaker 1: But maybe this coming from 498 00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 2: a 30 year old, I'm glad I broke up with 499 00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 2: my first love. 500 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:07,609 Speaker 1: He just ok. I think living the life that your 501 00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:10,540 Speaker 1: parents want would come in first. But actually, 43% of 502 00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:13,660 Speaker 1: a harsh listeners voted for working so much at the 503 00:22:13,670 --> 00:22:17,489 Speaker 1: expense of loved ones. You devote so much time attention 504 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,069 Speaker 1: on your work that you don't have any energy left 505 00:22:20,079 --> 00:22:21,079 Speaker 1: for your loved ones. 506 00:22:21,204 --> 00:22:23,675 Speaker 2: That's true. I would be very interested to see like 507 00:22:23,785 --> 00:22:28,834 Speaker 2: what old, older people like elderly say about this. What 508 00:22:28,844 --> 00:22:31,224 Speaker 2: would their biggest regrets be correct? 509 00:22:31,275 --> 00:22:33,784 Speaker 1: So what came in second was living the life that 510 00:22:33,795 --> 00:22:36,415 Speaker 1: your parents want? It's the second biggest regret that harsh 511 00:22:36,425 --> 00:22:38,544 Speaker 1: listeners have number three 512 00:22:39,079 --> 00:22:41,489 Speaker 1: not applying for your dream job. But honestly, I feel 513 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:44,069 Speaker 1: like that's not very regrettable because you can just throw 514 00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:45,099 Speaker 1: in your resume any time. 515 00:22:45,109 --> 00:22:47,599 Speaker 2: No, you are not applying for your dream job. Yes. 516 00:22:47,609 --> 00:22:50,300 Speaker 2: But let's say, let's say now, right? You get a 517 00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:54,239 Speaker 2: dream job opportunity but you have to move away for 518 00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:55,698 Speaker 2: the rest of your life, right? 519 00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:58,650 Speaker 2: And it could be a very difficult choice for you. 520 00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:01,209 Speaker 2: You might think not right now. You know, I have 521 00:23:01,219 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 2: so many commitments here in Singapore. I have so many 522 00:23:03,530 --> 00:23:05,780 Speaker 2: things to do and then later down the line, you 523 00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:08,630 Speaker 2: don't have that opportunity anymore. They hired someone else that's 524 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:13,079 Speaker 2: one of my regrets actually not moving overseas when I 525 00:23:13,089 --> 00:23:15,949 Speaker 2: was younger. Now that I'm too old to do it. Actually, 526 00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:17,189 Speaker 2: I was planning to do it. 527 00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:21,089 Speaker 2: You see, I was planning to do it between my 528 00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:24,938 Speaker 2: last relationship and this relationship, but all my friends told me, 529 00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:27,579 Speaker 2: but that seems like running away. You're just running away 530 00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:30,719 Speaker 2: from your problems. So I didn't run low. Yeah. Then 531 00:23:30,729 --> 00:23:33,229 Speaker 2: I ran into somebody else and now I'm here and 532 00:23:33,239 --> 00:23:36,349 Speaker 2: you're so happy. I'm happy. You're so happy. But I 533 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,500 Speaker 2: feel like I missed my chance. No, but someone 534 00:23:38,642 --> 00:23:41,302 Speaker 2: did this. So, so we had a few comments come 535 00:23:41,311 --> 00:23:44,983 Speaker 2: in from our youtube episode, right? So this guy says 536 00:23:45,113 --> 00:23:49,223 Speaker 2: there's always an opportunity cost to doing slash not doing something. 537 00:23:49,383 --> 00:23:51,983 Speaker 2: So instead you should be thinking, which regret would I 538 00:23:51,993 --> 00:23:59,243 Speaker 2: rather live with? Than which I would regret not doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 539 00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,755 Speaker 2: Continues to say, OK, choose the regret you're willing to 540 00:24:02,765 --> 00:24:05,505 Speaker 2: live with for the rest of your life. You want 541 00:24:05,515 --> 00:24:07,735 Speaker 2: to come on a harsh podcast. Whoever this guy is. 542 00:24:07,744 --> 00:24:10,285 Speaker 2: Can we invite him? I want to hear from? Can 543 00:24:10,296 --> 00:24:15,345 Speaker 2: we invite PP? That's true though. I like it. So 544 00:24:15,355 --> 00:24:17,254 Speaker 2: one way to look at it is that regrets are 545 00:24:17,265 --> 00:24:20,864 Speaker 2: just memories, you know. Yeah. Don't take it to heart. 546 00:24:21,339 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 2: It was always meant to happen. It's just you can't 547 00:24:23,689 --> 00:24:26,319 Speaker 2: see the big picture yet. Correct. We are still young. 548 00:24:26,329 --> 00:24:29,750 Speaker 2: I thought about this just yesterday that like there will 549 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 2: always be trade off for things that you want to do. 550 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,050 Speaker 2: Like you always have to give up something to pursue 551 00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:36,989 Speaker 2: another thing. You can't have everything in life. 552 00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:40,014 Speaker 2: There will be like instances where you have to give 553 00:24:40,025 --> 00:24:44,464 Speaker 2: up something to pursue something better, for sure. Yeah, I mean, 554 00:24:44,474 --> 00:24:48,395 Speaker 2: that's part and parcel of living and being a human, right? 555 00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:52,885 Speaker 2: And it's ok. I've learned that you can't force life, right? 556 00:24:53,364 --> 00:24:57,334 Speaker 2: Life will happen around you don't try to force yourself 557 00:24:57,344 --> 00:24:59,665 Speaker 2: to go one way or the other way. I always 558 00:24:59,675 --> 00:25:03,024 Speaker 2: think that in due time it will show you where 559 00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:04,744 Speaker 2: you're meant to be. Mhm 560 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:09,639 Speaker 1: I fully agree. This episode is so wholesome. I love wholesome, 561 00:25:09,650 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: like conversations and, and topics. If you do as well, 562 00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:15,699 Speaker 1: don't forget to follow us on Instagram at this clarity.co 563 00:25:15,709 --> 00:25:17,300 Speaker 1: and check out all our previous episodes. 564 00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:23,719 Speaker 2: OK? You can catch us on Medicine Apple Podcast and 565 00:25:24,709 --> 00:25:26,969 Speaker 2: yes and where you are on youtube as well. Shout 566 00:25:26,979 --> 00:25:31,170 Speaker 2: out to Pau Pau. We hope you enjoyed the shout 567 00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:32,150 Speaker 2: out from us as well. 568 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,199 Speaker 1: OK? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. OK? And always 569 00:25:36,209 --> 00:25:38,829 Speaker 1: show harsh podcast. Lots and lots of love. Our team 570 00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:41,390 Speaker 1: always put in a lot of effort including PDM here 571 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,389 Speaker 1: to make every episode a huge success. So these girls 572 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,430 Speaker 2: too, they sit and talk so much for like 100 573 00:25:47,439 --> 00:25:48,670 Speaker 2: over episodes. 574 00:25:48,989 --> 00:25:51,109 Speaker 1: We enjoy, we just 575 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,390 Speaker 2: talking shit. Thank you. Thank you for the love on 576 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,060 Speaker 2: Hush and we'll catch you next time. Bye 577 00:25:56,780 --> 00:25:57,510 Speaker 2: bye.