1 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I'm gonna pick you up from 2 00:00:04,889 --> 00:00:06,349 Speaker 1: your house. I said no, it's ok. We can take 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,829 Speaker 1: MRT and me at the job interview site. Tell me 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,579 Speaker 1: why I woke up to the sounds of a male 5 00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:14,550 Speaker 1: voice in my kitchen talking to my helper. For me, 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: his genitalia is like to pass you in on it 7 00:00:17,649 --> 00:00:18,750 Speaker 1: full platonic 8 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,370 Speaker 2: or you do not desire. I 9 00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:20,860 Speaker 1: do not 10 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,219 Speaker 1: hear any sexual desires for this person 11 00:00:24,010 --> 00:00:24,709 Speaker 2: is the candle. 12 00:00:24,819 --> 00:00:26,250 Speaker 1: Oh my God. I was about to say 13 00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:36,810 Speaker 2: hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of The Hot Pot 14 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,500 Speaker 2: where we hop into different transitions in life. I'm Nick, 15 00:00:39,509 --> 00:00:39,650 Speaker 2: I'm 16 00:00:39,659 --> 00:00:43,650 Speaker 1: Joey. I'm Q and today's topic is all about love theories. 17 00:00:44,139 --> 00:00:47,569 Speaker 1: These theories are created by people to help others navigate 18 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,209 Speaker 1: their relationship dilemmas that they might go through in different 19 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:50,650 Speaker 1: phases of 20 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:51,009 Speaker 1: life. 21 00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:52,930 Speaker 2: I have not heard of love theories 22 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,380 Speaker 2: before 23 00:00:53,389 --> 00:00:55,659 Speaker 1: I feel like when we do, right, you will know you. 24 00:00:55,729 --> 00:00:58,759 Speaker 1: I know especially the three love the 25 00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:01,779 Speaker 2: but just a disclaimer as well that I read through 26 00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:04,289 Speaker 2: some of these love theories, right? It seems like a 27 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,379 Speaker 2: lot of them are the examples that are being used today. 28 00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:10,699 Speaker 2: Apply to men, but then I feel like actually can 29 00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:12,259 Speaker 2: apply to both genders one. So 30 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,180 Speaker 2: yeah, it's gender neutral theories 31 00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:15,500 Speaker 1: not 32 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:19,559 Speaker 1: attacking anyone, not attacking. OK. So the first one is 33 00:01:19,569 --> 00:01:22,768 Speaker 1: the taxicab theory. This was introduced in sex and the 34 00:01:22,779 --> 00:01:26,149 Speaker 1: city where Miranda Hobbs mentioned that men are like taxi cabs. 35 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,580 Speaker 1: When they're available, their light will go on and they 36 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: just wake up one day and decide that they're ready 37 00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: to settle down, have babies, whatever they turn the light 38 00:01:32,730 --> 00:01:35,059 Speaker 1: on the next woman they pick up. Boom. That's the 39 00:01:35,069 --> 00:01:37,180 Speaker 1: woman they marry. So this is the theory 40 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,250 Speaker 1: basically suggesting that men only settle down with the person 41 00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 1: who's around when they are ready. Not necessarily the perfect 42 00:01:43,129 --> 00:01:46,290 Speaker 1: partner or destined for them or who they love the most. 43 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:46,919 Speaker 1: It's just 44 00:01:47,569 --> 00:01:50,349 Speaker 1: she go inside his taxi. This theory just talks about 45 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,940 Speaker 1: how you could be the perfect woman. You guys could 46 00:01:52,949 --> 00:01:55,620 Speaker 1: be super compatible if he's not ready, he's just not 47 00:01:55,629 --> 00:01:58,599 Speaker 1: ready and maybe you have been waiting for too long, 48 00:01:58,610 --> 00:02:01,260 Speaker 1: whatever you break up the moment he's ready, the next 49 00:02:01,269 --> 00:02:03,500 Speaker 1: available woman, he will just marry her even though maybe 50 00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:05,260 Speaker 1: they are not even that compatible, 51 00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:06,550 Speaker 1: true or false, 52 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 2: even though they're not compatible, they marry her even though 53 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,699 Speaker 1: she might not be, it might not be the best 54 00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,660 Speaker 1: person like 55 00:02:12,669 --> 00:02:13,389 Speaker 2: yeah, I think true. 56 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,259 Speaker 1: You heard it here first. 57 00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:21,850 Speaker 2: I feel like guys not as discerning as women. How 58 00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,470 Speaker 1: refreshing 59 00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:22,539 Speaker 2: I 60 00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:22,759 Speaker 1: feel 61 00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:25,039 Speaker 2: like I have a few guy friends that are, like, 62 00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:26,660 Speaker 2: quite nice to me then. 63 00:02:26,669 --> 00:02:27,039 Speaker 1: Ok. 64 00:02:27,809 --> 00:02:31,460 Speaker 1: Nice. A lot of people nice here then. Like, 65 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:32,309 Speaker 2: yeah, 66 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: you actually think that some of your friends are like that? 67 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,020 Speaker 2: Yeah, I cannot say who be mean. But I feel 68 00:02:37,029 --> 00:02:39,679 Speaker 2: like a bit interesting how you end up together, like, 69 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 2: like when I look at them how you end up together. So, 70 00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:44,209 Speaker 2: it's like, I rather have like a six upon 10 71 00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:46,179 Speaker 2: than not have anything at all. I try and find 72 00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 2: the nine upon 10. I don't get the six upon 73 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 2: 10 or 74 00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 1: rating people very sensitive just for the sake of 75 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:52,839 Speaker 2: the we're not 76 00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:54,580 Speaker 1: rating of this conversation 77 00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:55,169 Speaker 2: rating in terms of 78 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,115 Speaker 2: how good you are, how competitive. 79 00:02:57,485 --> 00:02:59,656 Speaker 1: Ok. So just a little bit of a disclaimer there. 80 00:02:59,666 --> 00:03:01,734 Speaker 1: So let's say the previous one was a nine, like 81 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:04,666 Speaker 1: in terms of all everything. Ok, then now he has 82 00:03:04,675 --> 00:03:07,606 Speaker 1: a six or maybe 6.5 in front of him. He's 83 00:03:07,615 --> 00:03:09,525 Speaker 1: like if I let go of the 6.5 right. The 84 00:03:09,535 --> 00:03:11,796 Speaker 1: next one might be a five. Then how, then I 85 00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:14,234 Speaker 1: waste all that time. I want to get married now already. 86 00:03:14,246 --> 00:03:15,315 Speaker 1: Why if there's no other option? 87 00:03:15,531 --> 00:03:17,552 Speaker 1: I know my time is limited. I don't really feel 88 00:03:17,561 --> 00:03:20,061 Speaker 1: everything but she's good enough. I'll just marry her. 89 00:03:21,091 --> 00:03:21,981 Speaker 1: Practical. 90 00:03:22,212 --> 00:03:24,681 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I feel like actually maybe it's also something 91 00:03:24,692 --> 00:03:26,931 Speaker 2: sometimes it has to do with insecurity. So how you 92 00:03:26,942 --> 00:03:30,161 Speaker 2: value yourself. LA where you're like, actually I'm not that good. 93 00:03:30,171 --> 00:03:33,072 Speaker 2: Maybe I just settled now. I feel bad. I realize that, like, 94 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,542 Speaker 2: the people who are very self assured of themselves, right. 95 00:03:35,891 --> 00:03:39,151 Speaker 2: The people who are very confident either because, like, you know, 96 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 2: they could be the ones who go their whole life. 97 00:03:42,169 --> 00:03:44,449 Speaker 2: People tell them you are good looking or attractive or 98 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:46,529 Speaker 2: you're born into, like, wealthy family, that kind of thing. So, 99 00:03:46,539 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 2: you know, that, like, when I'm on the market, I 100 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,199 Speaker 2: can find your Yeah, I can find something good. 101 00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:51,509 Speaker 1: It's 102 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,410 Speaker 1: like high value, men will find high value women, I 103 00:03:54,419 --> 00:03:56,029 Speaker 2: guess in that sense. So 104 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: the people 105 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:56,639 Speaker 1: who, 106 00:03:56,725 --> 00:03:59,785 Speaker 1: who settle on the six out of 10, not high value, 107 00:03:59,794 --> 00:04:01,985 Speaker 2: I think in their own mind, maybe they don't think 108 00:04:02,044 --> 00:04:02,695 Speaker 2: they high value 109 00:04:03,445 --> 00:04:05,985 Speaker 1: or maybe they just want kids a set. I think 110 00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,945 Speaker 1: we really truly see it very differently. What do you 111 00:04:08,955 --> 00:04:11,464 Speaker 1: mean like as women, we, we will strive for the 112 00:04:11,475 --> 00:04:13,664 Speaker 1: best as in I need to make sure that 113 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,339 Speaker 1: emotionally we are compatible. Then 114 00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 2: on that note, I also know like female friends that 115 00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:22,130 Speaker 2: I'm like, why you with this guy? I just feel 116 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,779 Speaker 2: like they're not super discerning. It's nothing to do with 117 00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:27,500 Speaker 2: the guy. But the dynamics when they are like together 118 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:30,130 Speaker 2: doesn't feel like a couple. But that being said, the 119 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,029 Speaker 2: c here is that I have thought 120 00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:33,859 Speaker 2: about this before that I was like, maybe when they 121 00:04:33,869 --> 00:04:35,709 Speaker 2: are just two of them alone, different 122 00:04:36,299 --> 00:04:37,899 Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, there are some people who are just 123 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:41,549 Speaker 1: very different in a relationship. Like, like, I know someone 124 00:04:41,559 --> 00:04:45,380 Speaker 1: who's pretty fierce and she knows exactly what she wants. 125 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,500 Speaker 1: But then when she's with her partner, right. She, like, 126 00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:49,980 Speaker 1: very silent, very dislike. Like, 127 00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:53,738 Speaker 1: she's the X me suddenly. No. You know why it 128 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:57,058 Speaker 1: might also be because she has been independent and a 129 00:04:57,428 --> 00:04:59,739 Speaker 1: leader her whole life right now she wants to be 130 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:03,989 Speaker 1: taken care of. You know, that's me. I think I 131 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,779 Speaker 1: want to be taken care. You want to be a 132 00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:06,950 Speaker 1: little point? 133 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,910 Speaker 2: Have you ever experienced like when you were not actively 134 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,149 Speaker 2: looking to date? Right? Got super eligible, 135 00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:16,809 Speaker 2: like people chasing you and then when you are ready 136 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:19,510 Speaker 2: to date, right? You end up going out with people 137 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,700 Speaker 2: who are less eligible than the ones that you rejected 138 00:05:22,709 --> 00:05:23,619 Speaker 2: when you were not ready to 139 00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:23,868 Speaker 2: date. 140 00:05:23,928 --> 00:05:27,269 Speaker 1: No, no, I think I always get the guys that 141 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:27,820 Speaker 1: I want 142 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:33,220 Speaker 1: because right, the times that I like someone is actually 143 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:36,519 Speaker 1: not very often, it's like every two years, one person 144 00:05:36,529 --> 00:05:40,118 Speaker 1: that I actually really like and then I will somehow 145 00:05:40,269 --> 00:05:43,799 Speaker 1: the universe brought us together and then we end up 146 00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: dating and we like each other. Yeah, but I've never 147 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: really like dated someone where I felt like 148 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:56,260 Speaker 1: I, I tried to talk myself into dating someone because 149 00:05:56,269 --> 00:05:58,519 Speaker 1: on paper he was just so 150 00:05:59,019 --> 00:06:01,670 Speaker 1: like great. There was no flaws but I really got 151 00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:06,170 Speaker 1: the that I tried to push through the, then I'm like, ok, 152 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:09,769 Speaker 1: realistically this person is like, obsessed with that. He likes 153 00:06:09,779 --> 00:06:14,250 Speaker 1: you a lot. He's communicative, he takes initiative, he plans it. 154 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:17,089 Speaker 1: I'm like, what's wrong with this person? Nothing. But then like, 155 00:06:17,149 --> 00:06:17,868 Speaker 1: say nothing. 156 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 2: So then I suspect that there are also people who 157 00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:23,488 Speaker 2: are like that, right? But they managed to go through 158 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:24,869 Speaker 2: like they just like, ok, 159 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,029 Speaker 1: like, OK, eventually. 160 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,988 Speaker 1: But do you think that women have taxicab theory too? 161 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,690 Speaker 1: Like we are also like that? If 162 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:33,368 Speaker 2: anything, I feel like because of this, right? And because 163 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:36,070 Speaker 2: of the gender stereotype of our generation where it's always 164 00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:38,820 Speaker 2: the guys that were chased more often than not, then 165 00:06:38,829 --> 00:06:41,540 Speaker 2: you are in this position more often compared to guys 166 00:06:41,549 --> 00:06:44,799 Speaker 2: because like I wouldn't be chased by a girl 167 00:06:44,809 --> 00:06:45,070 Speaker 2: as much. 168 00:06:45,079 --> 00:06:47,500 Speaker 1: But I think the taxicab theory is also linked to 169 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:51,190 Speaker 1: care a lot of men put their career first and 170 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,029 Speaker 1: they wanna be the best 171 00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:56,809 Speaker 1: and achieve all these big goals before they settle down. 172 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,519 Speaker 1: But I think a lot of women are not exactly 173 00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:02,309 Speaker 1: like that. So that's why it applies to more men 174 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: than 175 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:02,779 Speaker 1: women. 176 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:06,190 Speaker 2: Previous generation, maybe these are more applicable. But I feel 177 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,670 Speaker 2: like our generation has equalized. 178 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:08,660 Speaker 1: I think now there are a lot of women 179 00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:11,445 Speaker 1: who are more career driven. They're like, I'm in my thirties. 180 00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:14,393 Speaker 1: I'm enjoying not having to worry about a man. What 181 00:07:14,404 --> 00:07:16,315 Speaker 1: are your thoughts on the people who are victims of 182 00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:19,815 Speaker 1: their exes always marrying the next person that they did. 183 00:07:20,095 --> 00:07:22,774 Speaker 2: No, no. Wait, maybe I'm the, 184 00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:23,795 Speaker 1: are you the ex? 185 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:24,545 Speaker 2: Yeah. 186 00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:29,695 Speaker 1: Your ex got married? No. Oh, you are the ok. Yeah. 187 00:07:29,744 --> 00:07:32,864 Speaker 1: So the X is the learning lesson. You're together with 188 00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:35,815 Speaker 1: this ex for six years, right? Or seven years. Then 189 00:07:35,825 --> 00:07:38,135 Speaker 1: the next person you did for maybe one year, eight months. 190 00:07:38,144 --> 00:07:38,575 Speaker 1: And you, like, 191 00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,518 Speaker 1: I want to marry you. I feel like if you 192 00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:43,779 Speaker 1: get a royalty check at that point, like you put 193 00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:46,549 Speaker 1: so much R and D, you so much R and 194 00:07:46,559 --> 00:07:48,829 Speaker 1: D into this product, then the product now then go right. 195 00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:51,230 Speaker 1: The person can enjoy the product smoothly. 196 00:07:51,239 --> 00:07:53,140 Speaker 2: The other day, I was just thinking about this right now. 197 00:07:53,149 --> 00:07:55,679 Speaker 2: I just that I feel like you are the catalyst 198 00:07:55,690 --> 00:07:57,470 Speaker 2: to the best period of my life. I feel like 199 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 2: in the course of our relationship, the last like five 200 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:02,890 Speaker 2: or six years since we started dating, right? The best 201 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,549 Speaker 2: things that have happened to me in my life have 202 00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:06,970 Speaker 2: all happened when we were to get like during the 203 00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:07,899 Speaker 2: course of our relationship. 204 00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 2: So then it's not, it's not your, it's not the past, 205 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 2: it's like who you are with now. 206 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,170 Speaker 1: Honestly, when my, when I was with my ex, my dog. 207 00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:19,420 Speaker 1: Damn ugly. No, no. We've seen photos really. After the 208 00:08:19,429 --> 00:08:21,339 Speaker 1: break up, my dog got damn cute. And it was 209 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,309 Speaker 1: like a lot of friends were telling me why is 210 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,279 Speaker 1: Leila so cute now, 211 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: blow up. Like even my dog blew up after my 212 00:08:27,769 --> 00:08:31,130 Speaker 1: ex left legit. Even now when we look back, we're like, 213 00:08:31,309 --> 00:08:31,910 Speaker 1: who is this 214 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,030 Speaker 2: deep? The catalyst obviously is Charlie. 215 00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,309 Speaker 1: So why don't you think that your ex made you 216 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,940 Speaker 1: who you are also? Like, if I didn't go to 217 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,309 Speaker 1: my toxic relationship? Right? And all the like 218 00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:43,770 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to regulate my emotions 219 00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: as well 220 00:08:44,419 --> 00:08:47,478 Speaker 2: as 20%. And actually, as I, as the years go 221 00:08:47,489 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 2: by now, right, I feel like more and more right 222 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,820 Speaker 2: in my current relationship is the more important thing because 223 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 2: then you are, I'm constantly evolving. Whereas like that version 224 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 2: of me that first got together with like my partner 225 00:08:58,289 --> 00:09:02,250 Speaker 2: now is really like five or six years ago, like 226 00:09:02,349 --> 00:09:06,569 Speaker 2: 25 year old, like Nick and 30 year quite different. 227 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,549 Speaker 2: But what is the difference is that five years and 228 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:10,799 Speaker 2: who you spend the five years with your current partner? 229 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: Ok. Ok. I'll take it. So, how much do you 230 00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:16,109 Speaker 1: all agree with this theory? 231 00:09:16,119 --> 00:09:19,950 Speaker 2: Disagree? I feel like this is also like a theory, right? 232 00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:24,390 Speaker 2: That jilted people come up with, right? To, to like, 233 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,700 Speaker 2: absorb themselves of about 234 00:09:25,929 --> 00:09:28,340 Speaker 1: to make themselves feel better, right? Like it could have 235 00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:30,289 Speaker 1: been me. It's like she can't be that great. So 236 00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:32,030 Speaker 1: it must be, it must be something 237 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,039 Speaker 2: she can't be that great. Actually, I'm the one that 238 00:09:34,049 --> 00:09:34,830 Speaker 2: fixed him 239 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,119 Speaker 2: or fixed her such that you are reaping the benefits 240 00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,250 Speaker 2: now is the same one 241 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 1: that is like, it's just timing. Yeah. 242 00:09:42,159 --> 00:09:44,450 Speaker 2: No, it's the same theory as I loosened the jar 243 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:45,228 Speaker 2: for you already. 244 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,179 Speaker 1: This one, 245 00:09:46,599 --> 00:09:48,150 Speaker 2: you know, when you hear the people say, I actually, 246 00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:49,929 Speaker 2: I loosen the job you cannot open. You say you 247 00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:50,539 Speaker 2: can open. 248 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,450 Speaker 1: If you feel better that you didn't persevere, it's not 249 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:53,419 Speaker 1: my problem. Yeah. 250 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:54,819 Speaker 2: You want a job. 251 00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:55,460 Speaker 1: But what if 252 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:58,979 Speaker 1: that person actually persevere? I do think that at this point, 253 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,909 Speaker 1: like if it's a woman who's been waiting for him 254 00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:04,140 Speaker 1: to propose and he hasn't because he just can't see 255 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:07,619 Speaker 1: in the future, right? You, unfortunately, even though she might 256 00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:10,590 Speaker 1: have been the perfect partner, her breaking up with him 257 00:10:10,599 --> 00:10:12,789 Speaker 1: might have said something off in him to realize, OK, 258 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: actually, you know what I think she really meant it, 259 00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:17,010 Speaker 1: but he's not gonna go back. So we're just gonna 260 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:19,580 Speaker 1: move forward and I want to get married. It could 261 00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:22,059 Speaker 1: have helped him make that decision, which sucks. I do 262 00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:25,179 Speaker 1: think that in this case, there are a lot more 263 00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:27,380 Speaker 1: men who are more practical about the decision. Like I'm 264 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:30,510 Speaker 1: ready to start a family, I'm ready to be part 265 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,859 Speaker 1: of like a unit. 266 00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:35,900 Speaker 2: I think quite black and white. Like when I see 267 00:10:35,909 --> 00:10:39,119 Speaker 2: this girl I've been with for like X number of years, 268 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:40,339 Speaker 2: I don't see. 269 00:10:40,669 --> 00:10:42,299 Speaker 1: But if you haven't had the need to want to 270 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:42,738 Speaker 1: propose 271 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 1: then because 272 00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:45,429 Speaker 2: we don't like a lot of dudes they don't, we 273 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,419 Speaker 2: don't operate in gray. And I think when there is gray, 274 00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:52,260 Speaker 2: then that's when you, it makes decision making very hard. Like, oh, 275 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,450 Speaker 2: am I staying in this relationship for too long? And 276 00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,299 Speaker 2: then when you move in the next relationship actually, am 277 00:10:56,309 --> 00:10:58,570 Speaker 2: I really ready to propose that kind of thing? Guys? 278 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,150 Speaker 2: Like quite the caveat here is that this came from 279 00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:04,429 Speaker 2: a TV show. So it was like imagined by a TV, writer, 280 00:11:05,070 --> 00:11:08,039 Speaker 2: like not a sociologist or anyone like 281 00:11:08,049 --> 00:11:08,119 Speaker 2: that. 282 00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: But there are a lot of people who agree with 283 00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: this theory on Tik Tok. It's quite interesting. I kind 284 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,419 Speaker 1: of agree, I think to a certain extent, I also 285 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:19,979 Speaker 1: agreed like, yeah, it makes sense. But obviously we are 286 00:11:19,989 --> 00:11:23,299 Speaker 1: all very different human beings. You cannot apply one theory 287 00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:27,500 Speaker 1: across like everybody. Yeah. OK. The next theory is the 288 00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:31,380 Speaker 1: tree loves theory throughout our lifetime, we will fall in 289 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,380 Speaker 1: love three times 290 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,025 Speaker 1: three different stages of our lives. The first one is 291 00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:37,944 Speaker 1: puppy love, which is usually like a fairy tale. The 292 00:11:37,955 --> 00:11:40,973 Speaker 1: second one is intense love with dramatic highs and lows 293 00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:43,585 Speaker 1: and the most painful heartbreak. And then the third one 294 00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:46,815 Speaker 1: is unconditional love, the least expected one and the love 295 00:11:46,825 --> 00:11:50,215 Speaker 1: you deserve. I feel like I had the first two, 296 00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:54,054 Speaker 1: I think in this order, I had the three, 297 00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:56,554 Speaker 2: the popular by trying to like, 298 00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:59,614 Speaker 1: I remember you really like some girl and then she 299 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:00,734 Speaker 1: didn't really like, 300 00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:01,809 Speaker 1: like you back 301 00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:07,030 Speaker 2: down po po po po year one. I like this 302 00:12:07,039 --> 00:12:10,059 Speaker 2: girl in orientation camp. Actually. I really, really quite like her. 303 00:12:10,090 --> 00:12:12,099 Speaker 2: If you go like almost go out. 304 00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:14,179 Speaker 2: I think it's also because of the almost go out. 305 00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:16,580 Speaker 2: That's why I like a bit like, so it's not popular. 306 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,809 Speaker 2: Like you also, I think that one is, I think 307 00:12:18,859 --> 00:12:21,940 Speaker 2: that one still considered popular. No, but you were you enough. 308 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,449 Speaker 2: I really like no. 309 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:26,229 Speaker 1: Then it's not considered, not considered, not in my book. 310 00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:26,419 Speaker 1: Then 311 00:12:26,429 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 2: I got no. 312 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,940 Speaker 1: So not everyone will relate to this. So you don't 313 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,359 Speaker 1: have all three, right? Then 314 00:12:32,369 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 2: I feel like the 2nd and 3rd both is just, 315 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,203 Speaker 2: is a combination and goes through 316 00:12:38,213 --> 00:12:41,903 Speaker 1: just you experience two and then now three. Yeah. Yeah, 317 00:12:41,913 --> 00:12:43,023 Speaker 1: I got it. So 318 00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:44,033 Speaker 2: this theory a bit la 319 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:44,703 Speaker 1: Oh 320 00:12:44,822 --> 00:12:47,632 Speaker 1: OK. Because it doesn't apply to Nick. You're right. The 321 00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:51,843 Speaker 1: theory is I think that my Polly, my first ever 322 00:12:51,852 --> 00:12:54,322 Speaker 1: boyfriend was my puppy love. We were best friends and 323 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,942 Speaker 1: then we fell in love and then he, and the 324 00:12:56,953 --> 00:12:59,742 Speaker 1: way it broke up was over something stupid and something 325 00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:03,995 Speaker 1: small, but we didn't really think about our future. So 326 00:13:04,405 --> 00:13:07,824 Speaker 1: like what it states here usually more surface level. So 327 00:13:07,835 --> 00:13:10,535 Speaker 1: I relate to that. The second one, which is the 328 00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:13,776 Speaker 1: one that you all know that I went almost crazy 329 00:13:13,785 --> 00:13:20,375 Speaker 1: about is the intense dramatic highs and lows. It was toxic. 330 00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:24,116 Speaker 1: A lot of gas lighting, very negative. So I would 331 00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:26,965 Speaker 1: say that was my most painful period of my life 332 00:13:26,976 --> 00:13:28,966 Speaker 1: because of the way I was 333 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,010 Speaker 1: in that relationship. And also the heartbreak that came after 334 00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:35,939 Speaker 1: now, I'm waiting for the third one. See, now I'm so, 335 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,059 Speaker 1: so many years already. So the thing is right. I 336 00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:42,539 Speaker 1: haven't fallen in love since that last X, which was 337 00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:44,359 Speaker 1: quite some time ago and I don't know whether I 338 00:13:44,369 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: can fall in love. Sometimes I question that. I think 339 00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,109 Speaker 1: you can, you just haven't found the right one. It's 340 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:53,939 Speaker 1: pretty hard to not be late. Shit. I genuinely think 341 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,750 Speaker 1: it's very hard to find a man that's good enough 342 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,359 Speaker 1: for you. Genuinely not just saying this to like 343 00:13:59,885 --> 00:14:01,635 Speaker 1: kiss ass. I don't say I can still kiss as 344 00:14:01,645 --> 00:14:02,994 Speaker 1: it can kiss my physical 345 00:14:03,005 --> 00:14:03,164 Speaker 1: ass. 346 00:14:03,174 --> 00:14:06,215 Speaker 2: Why you don't taxi cap theory you just see who's 347 00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:06,784 Speaker 2: like on 348 00:14:06,794 --> 00:14:08,554 Speaker 1: but their light on doesn't mean I like to go 349 00:14:08,565 --> 00:14:10,554 Speaker 1: into the taxi. Taxi me 350 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,694 Speaker 2: boost the rating 4.5. 351 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,145 Speaker 1: You know, my great rating is five out of five 352 00:14:16,664 --> 00:14:19,354 Speaker 1: I A for the best try for the best. What 353 00:14:19,364 --> 00:14:22,025 Speaker 1: if you go in his taxi? Then he like he 354 00:14:23,505 --> 00:14:23,614 Speaker 1: and 355 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,655 Speaker 1: I tend to date people who some 356 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:31,989 Speaker 1: which means that they like one but the 11 but 357 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,299 Speaker 1: the one bad drivers, 358 00:14:33,309 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 2: I 359 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 2: guess what a great metaphor. But 360 00:14:35,409 --> 00:14:38,780 Speaker 1: yes, you wanted to share something that will make us 361 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,739 Speaker 1: lo no. OK, basically. Yes. OK. Puppy love. I remember 362 00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:46,109 Speaker 1: walking into church and seeing this boy. And then I'm like, 363 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,409 Speaker 1: oh my God love at first sight. Like, I'm obsessed 364 00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:49,190 Speaker 1: with this boy. 365 00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:51,965 Speaker 1: He was three years of watching him from afar. Then 366 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,195 Speaker 1: he finally noticed me and then we started talking and 367 00:14:55,205 --> 00:14:58,635 Speaker 1: then we had like a like, is it my boyfriend? 368 00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:01,224 Speaker 1: Is it not kind of thing? And then not again. 369 00:15:01,364 --> 00:15:03,525 Speaker 1: And I still watch from a far again and then 370 00:15:03,534 --> 00:15:05,885 Speaker 1: a bit creepy, not watch from a far. It's just 371 00:15:05,895 --> 00:15:08,554 Speaker 1: like from a far I still have feelings but didn't 372 00:15:08,565 --> 00:15:10,924 Speaker 1: do anything about it. But we were all friends. That's 373 00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:11,304 Speaker 1: the thing. 374 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,210 Speaker 1: It was difficult because we were all friends is giving 375 00:15:14,219 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 1: Taiwan drama. I can, it was, I can be no, 100%. 376 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: It was eye candy because for me, his genitalia is 377 00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:24,169 Speaker 1: like to pass you in on it full platonic or 378 00:15:24,179 --> 00:15:24,690 Speaker 1: you do not 379 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:25,419 Speaker 2: desire. 380 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:25,650 Speaker 1: I 381 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,580 Speaker 1: do not have any sexual desires for this person. 382 00:15:30,005 --> 00:15:31,234 Speaker 1: Oh my God. I was about to do. 383 00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,304 Speaker 1: He was a candle. So that's why I think it's 384 00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:36,445 Speaker 1: puppy love because maybe because the first time I saw 385 00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:39,395 Speaker 1: him then crushed it build up. Then the second one. 386 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,525 Speaker 1: Do you have a second one? The second one, the 387 00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:46,075 Speaker 1: intense love was the like, really intense, like, physically intense. 388 00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:46,844 Speaker 1: But at the start, 389 00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:54,260 Speaker 1: like brought me back to 2013 almost every day when 390 00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: we would hang out in my room. Right. We're just 391 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,739 Speaker 1: lying on the bed staring at each other crying because 392 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,659 Speaker 1: we are so we know each other. You, so what 393 00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:04,349 Speaker 1: in love? Yeah. Let me just keep crying. 394 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:11,169 Speaker 1: You. That's, it's very intense. So that's kind of romantic. 395 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,659 Speaker 1: It is. But I know it is. Maybe for the 1st, 396 00:16:13,669 --> 00:16:16,770 Speaker 1: 2nd time. But then after how many times I just 397 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:19,109 Speaker 1: see it, like for the first month or two months 398 00:16:19,119 --> 00:16:21,250 Speaker 1: is damn it. No. If we were such a, that's 399 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:24,630 Speaker 1: why I really think it, we were Children, like, experiencing 400 00:16:25,309 --> 00:16:28,979 Speaker 1: pos sex, like energy for the first time. I really 401 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:32,530 Speaker 1: have no idea. You say I touch a but no, 402 00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:34,359 Speaker 1: it was really like a, we don't even have to 403 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,090 Speaker 1: touch each other. I can feel the love. 404 00:16:37,919 --> 00:16:40,710 Speaker 1: I said, I don't know how to feel about it. Right? Because, like, 405 00:16:40,719 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: I know he was bad for you but why at 406 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,929 Speaker 1: the start it was really great. And then I think, 407 00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:48,849 Speaker 1: like eight months in and down here. Really? Yeah. You know, 408 00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: and now you have met, I mean, you're with your 409 00:16:51,179 --> 00:16:54,929 Speaker 1: love and then I had my unconditional love really least expected, like, 410 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:58,109 Speaker 1: genuinely just got out of a relationship. Almost four years. 411 00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,900 Speaker 1: I broke up with my ex in November. Right? 412 00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:02,625 Speaker 1: I saw, I met Charlie in December so I didn't 413 00:17:02,635 --> 00:17:05,296 Speaker 1: even have a full month and I was like, oh, no. 414 00:17:05,306 --> 00:17:06,046 Speaker 1: And I remember my 415 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:07,854 Speaker 2: Charlie a taxicab. 416 00:17:07,906 --> 00:17:08,105 Speaker 1: Oh my 417 00:17:08,115 --> 00:17:08,385 Speaker 2: God. 418 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:08,895 Speaker 1: See, 419 00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:11,315 Speaker 1: you were together with someone else for quite some time, right? Yeah. 420 00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:16,135 Speaker 1: And then Charlie just came and you Charlie? Actually, I'm 421 00:17:16,145 --> 00:17:20,245 Speaker 1: Charlie's first partner ever. He's never been interested in, like anyone. 422 00:17:20,255 --> 00:17:21,946 Speaker 1: He said, even if he, like, find someone to try, 423 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,932 Speaker 1: he's an attractive guy. There are girls who reach out 424 00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:26,901 Speaker 1: to him, but he just to him is like, if 425 00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:29,092 Speaker 1: it's not meant if it's meant to be something will happen. 426 00:17:29,102 --> 00:17:30,921 Speaker 1: So you just keep waiting for this sudden to happen. Like, 427 00:17:30,932 --> 00:17:33,462 Speaker 1: in his la, la la, I have believe LA because 428 00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:37,852 Speaker 1: I mean, I have friends who had multiple partners before. 429 00:17:37,881 --> 00:17:41,102 Speaker 1: So more than three, right? And then they're so in love. 430 00:17:41,112 --> 00:17:45,251 Speaker 1: So obviously it's not true for everybody but then somehow 431 00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:47,130 Speaker 1: because of the 1st and 2nd 1, 432 00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:50,890 Speaker 1: I relate to it because it's so accurate to my life. 433 00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:54,619 Speaker 1: And why have I not fallen in love yet? I'm 434 00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 1: waiting for my 435 00:17:55,469 --> 00:17:56,290 Speaker 1: expected. 436 00:17:56,410 --> 00:18:00,050 Speaker 2: Then yours, you got all three. Mine doesn't really apply. 437 00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,449 Speaker 2: I feel I always tell people about like one of 438 00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:04,170 Speaker 2: my primary school friends, right? 439 00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 2: They go together in like primary school, then they are 440 00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 2: like primary school like they are like they are the 441 00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:14,479 Speaker 2: puppy love then all the way they got kid now 442 00:18:14,489 --> 00:18:16,079 Speaker 2: like Mary and got everything. 443 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,448 Speaker 1: What's a lie you believed in as a kid? Santa 444 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:23,209 Speaker 2: Claus? No, 445 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:26,780 Speaker 1: no, I don't believe in anything. I still believe in. 446 00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:30,250 Speaker 1: I believe in the cutting the 447 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,540 Speaker 2: point, the moon. Then you got 448 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,449 Speaker 1: cut growing up. My mom say cannot point at 449 00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:35,109 Speaker 1: the moon. 450 00:18:35,349 --> 00:18:38,169 Speaker 2: Climb down cut your ear. 451 00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,319 Speaker 1: I don't know how, who's gonna cut my ear, but 452 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:41,589 Speaker 1: I just 453 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,562 Speaker 1: believe that my ear were gonna cut. There was this 454 00:18:43,571 --> 00:18:45,873 Speaker 1: one that I pointed at the moon. Then the next 455 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,532 Speaker 1: day E 456 00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:49,912 Speaker 2: P actually, this was such a terrible lie to tell. 457 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:53,723 Speaker 2: You know, like there's zero like moral benefit. You lie 458 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,582 Speaker 2: on the police can catch you. At least you don't lie. Right. 459 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:56,762 Speaker 2: That's 460 00:18:56,772 --> 00:18:56,821 Speaker 1: the 461 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:57,223 Speaker 2: story 462 00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:57,723 Speaker 1: grumpy 463 00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:58,213 Speaker 1: today. 464 00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:01,503 Speaker 2: There's moral benefit. Your Children. The 465 00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:01,882 Speaker 1: volume 466 00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:02,172 Speaker 2: can 467 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:02,243 Speaker 1: so 468 00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:04,612 Speaker 1: like screaming my ear 469 00:19:04,955 --> 00:19:07,245 Speaker 2: and the moon they come and cut your ear. 470 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:07,645 Speaker 1: You know 471 00:19:08,176 --> 00:19:10,244 Speaker 2: who is, who am I heart hurting by pointing at? 472 00:19:10,255 --> 00:19:10,645 Speaker 2: Oh my God. 473 00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:10,975 Speaker 1: Maybe 474 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,676 Speaker 1: it's all the spiritual girlies cannot point at the moon. 475 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,416 Speaker 2: Would you rather not flush your toilet forever or not? 476 00:19:16,426 --> 00:19:17,875 Speaker 2: Change your bed sheets forever. 477 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:18,345 Speaker 1: Flush 478 00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:23,525 Speaker 1: flush, please. I don't know. I begging every morning you 479 00:19:23,536 --> 00:19:24,845 Speaker 1: go brush your teeth. Your sheet is 480 00:19:24,855 --> 00:19:25,345 Speaker 1: there. 481 00:19:25,536 --> 00:19:27,566 Speaker 2: I think I never flush forever. Then I just sit 482 00:19:27,576 --> 00:19:27,895 Speaker 2: outside 483 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,089 Speaker 2: my dog. 484 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:35,479 Speaker 1: How do you have your fellow host saved on your phone? Nicholas. 485 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:46,020 Speaker 1: Y then one snow pea emoji then and then snow pee. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yours. 486 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,310 Speaker 1: Mine is something done. This is Nick. Yam. 487 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,969 Speaker 1: I bet you just name us and I 488 00:19:54,979 --> 00:19:56,579 Speaker 2: think I never say both of you. 489 00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:59,089 Speaker 1: You don't have my number for all these 490 00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:01,989 Speaker 2: years. What? Yeah, then, but it's just not safe. 491 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,859 Speaker 1: We've been friends since we were, I was 21. Eh? 492 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,709 Speaker 1: Let's hop back to the episode. 493 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,109 Speaker 2: OK. The next one is Box theory box. 494 00:20:12,869 --> 00:20:16,569 Speaker 2: On first impression guys will subconsciously categorize girls they meet 495 00:20:16,579 --> 00:20:21,290 Speaker 2: into one of three boxes. First box romantic potential, second 496 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: box hook up potential. That box zero potential moving forward. 497 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,430 Speaker 2: Everything she does reinforces the guys believe that she belongs 498 00:20:29,439 --> 00:20:31,938 Speaker 2: in the categorized box and no matter what she does, 499 00:20:31,949 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 2: she is never able to switch boxes. 500 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,469 Speaker 1: Excuse me. Why are you laughing? Because you keep saying 501 00:20:38,479 --> 00:20:42,900 Speaker 1: box box, I can I box today. He put concealer. 502 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,449 Speaker 1: He told me just now. Did you expose 503 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 1: yourself? 504 00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:53,329 Speaker 1: I've heard about this so many times. I actually asked 505 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,290 Speaker 1: a lot of my friends over drinks before. Like do 506 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: you agree? Because for women, right, we have the Yes. No, 507 00:20:57,810 --> 00:20:59,969 Speaker 1: maybe we talked about it before. So the yes, no, 508 00:20:59,979 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 1: maybe boxes, right? And you could be in the friend 509 00:21:03,689 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: zone box for a while but suddenly you impress me 510 00:21:07,369 --> 00:21:11,290 Speaker 1: suddenly so you can change. Can I can shift you anywhere? 511 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: I want? Yes. 512 00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:15,500 Speaker 2: No, maybe sounds like more plausible than this one. I 513 00:21:15,510 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 2: feel like a bit too 514 00:21:17,439 --> 00:21:19,329 Speaker 1: restricted, but it's very black and 515 00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:19,589 Speaker 1: white. 516 00:21:19,599 --> 00:21:21,180 Speaker 2: But I feel like relationships, not that 517 00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:24,129 Speaker 1: it's more like would they or would never did. Those 518 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:26,030 Speaker 1: were the two boxes that my friends told me about, 519 00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:30,290 Speaker 2: but very bad, very bad to hook up without, without 520 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:34,270 Speaker 2: planning to be in a relationship goes against my values, 521 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,010 Speaker 1: your ethos. 522 00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: Do you guys agree or do you guys feel like 523 00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:41,369 Speaker 1: when you first meet someone right upon first meeting immediately, 524 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,319 Speaker 1: you know if you asleep with them or not like 525 00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:48,500 Speaker 1: that woman, if s if there's a sexual attraction or not, no, no, no. 526 00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:51,939 Speaker 1: You know how like when you see someone super attractive 527 00:21:51,949 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 1: and it's so your type, right? Then you very indifferent, 528 00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: you portray this version like oh yeah, sure. Yeah. But 529 00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:01,180 Speaker 1: then blames no, because we p you don't be like, yeah, 530 00:22:01,229 --> 00:22:03,530 Speaker 1: we don't know. Oh my God, you want my number now? 531 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,089 Speaker 1: We don't want that one, right? So we just need 532 00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:08,270 Speaker 1: to act like no, but we need to play it cool. 533 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,109 Speaker 1: Then you chase after me. Correct. It's like in the what? 534 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,069 Speaker 1: Pat you go to Justin and like you don't even 535 00:22:13,079 --> 00:22:14,739 Speaker 1: know who he is so that he will find you 536 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:15,948 Speaker 1: from the crowd and be like, oh my God, that 537 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,270 Speaker 1: girl doesn't care who I am. You must text on 538 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,270 Speaker 1: your phone then yeah, you like on the stage, my 539 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,339 Speaker 1: friend just had a spare ticket and then he's like, 540 00:22:23,349 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: oh my God, she treats me like a normal 541 00:22:25,439 --> 00:22:27,709 Speaker 1: human being. I want to be with her. Then after 542 00:22:27,719 --> 00:22:30,410 Speaker 1: the concert that you like out to eat supper, then 543 00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:32,319 Speaker 1: you're just like, oh cool. You want I can show 544 00:22:32,329 --> 00:22:35,660 Speaker 1: you the real places. It's like men want to be hunters, right? 545 00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 1: So you cannot, you cannot like you want to go 546 00:22:37,930 --> 00:22:41,260 Speaker 1: for the rabbit. That's like me, me 547 00:22:41,550 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 2: your thing. Got any correlation between how eligible you are 548 00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:49,459 Speaker 2: as a potential partner or you think it's just compatibility? 549 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,349 Speaker 2: Like which box we can put in? No, 550 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:51,369 Speaker 1: I 551 00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:53,130 Speaker 1: just think is who you are as a person. And 552 00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:54,060 Speaker 1: then if the, 553 00:22:54,979 --> 00:22:58,129 Speaker 1: if I feel a draw, then maybe we can explore 554 00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,739 Speaker 1: you ring. 555 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 2: Do you think that he's like a handsome, funny, rich 556 00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:06,290 Speaker 2: guy 557 00:23:06,430 --> 00:23:08,410 Speaker 1: automatically when he's rich. He's very funny. 558 00:23:10,130 --> 00:23:14,819 Speaker 1: Show me the money you can scan based on first impression, right? 559 00:23:14,829 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: Is usually the looks and the vibe first. Then we 560 00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:22,079 Speaker 1: decide where he's parked at. Then there is the maybe box, right? 561 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,780 Speaker 1: For example, someone once asked me on a date and 562 00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: he wasn't really my type. I give him a chance. 563 00:23:27,719 --> 00:23:29,969 Speaker 1: I gave him a shot and then we met up, 564 00:23:29,979 --> 00:23:32,859 Speaker 1: we had the date and then midway through, I realized 565 00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:36,099 Speaker 1: no man, you gotta go to the friend zone. So 566 00:23:36,109 --> 00:23:39,139 Speaker 1: the movie box, right? Is when you very sure leaning 567 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:41,218 Speaker 1: more towards a no, but you feel like you don't 568 00:23:41,229 --> 00:23:42,448 Speaker 1: want to close off the 569 00:23:42,459 --> 00:23:43,739 Speaker 1: options, right? 570 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,819 Speaker 2: I think the yes, no, maybe makes more sense than 571 00:23:46,829 --> 00:23:51,689 Speaker 2: the the romantic hook up. And then again, 572 00:23:51,699 --> 00:23:53,439 Speaker 1: is it because you're not a hook up kind of guy? 573 00:23:53,449 --> 00:23:54,629 Speaker 1: That's why you don't relate to the whole 574 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,300 Speaker 1: culture. 575 00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,479 Speaker 2: I'm all about that commitment 576 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:57,339 Speaker 1: for you. 577 00:23:57,810 --> 00:23:59,889 Speaker 1: What makes a woman a Yes, 578 00:23:59,930 --> 00:24:02,599 Speaker 2: it needs to be someone that has good values. I 579 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,729 Speaker 2: think I'm more aligned with someone that is like, I 580 00:24:04,739 --> 00:24:06,949 Speaker 2: don't like shallow people 581 00:24:07,790 --> 00:24:08,829 Speaker 1: really. Yeah. 582 00:24:09,959 --> 00:24:11,550 Speaker 1: So, hatred is so mean. 583 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,949 Speaker 2: Then I think you need to be a good person 584 00:24:14,959 --> 00:24:17,479 Speaker 2: and then, like, good person is quite broad but then, like, 585 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:21,270 Speaker 2: in general be kind, like have a party to your parents, 586 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,390 Speaker 2: be family oriented. 587 00:24:22,810 --> 00:24:25,369 Speaker 2: Yeah. So maybe that is where all of this is 588 00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:28,129 Speaker 2: coming from. Like, if I were to think about it, right? Like, 589 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:31,650 Speaker 2: hook up potential might just be that. Oh, you, you 590 00:24:31,660 --> 00:24:34,420 Speaker 2: look good. Yeah. But then you don't need to have 591 00:24:34,430 --> 00:24:37,410 Speaker 2: all of these other things, right? Like you can be 592 00:24:37,420 --> 00:24:39,530 Speaker 2: like a terrible person but I hear you look great. Ok, 593 00:24:39,540 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 2: I hook up with you once inconsequential to me. Yeah. 594 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,329 Speaker 1: True. It's actually very hard. Like you could find someone 595 00:24:47,339 --> 00:24:51,410 Speaker 1: with amazing humor, like, same as you, there's that like, 596 00:24:52,260 --> 00:24:57,479 Speaker 1: personalities values everything match and then there's zero chemistry or 597 00:24:57,489 --> 00:25:00,390 Speaker 1: physical chemistry or you could have physical attraction but no 598 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,349 Speaker 1: sexual chemistry. So then it's like you can't have everything right? 599 00:25:04,369 --> 00:25:06,469 Speaker 1: A bit talking me the right one or what is 600 00:25:06,479 --> 00:25:08,709 Speaker 1: a bad kisser? Is there a deal breaker for? You 601 00:25:08,719 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 1: can 602 00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:09,709 Speaker 1: train? I think. 603 00:25:09,719 --> 00:25:12,030 Speaker 2: How bad is that? Like your nose will get wet. No, 604 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:12,390 Speaker 1: no, no, 605 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,609 Speaker 1: no, no. Like, ok, when you stop kissing right, then no, 606 00:25:16,619 --> 00:25:20,189 Speaker 1: then he drew, his drew is like here on your, 607 00:25:21,619 --> 00:25:24,130 Speaker 1: on your chin. Have you ever had a friend that 608 00:25:24,140 --> 00:25:26,430 Speaker 1: is actually in the friend zone? Ok. Then maybe one 609 00:25:26,439 --> 00:25:28,698 Speaker 1: day they like fixing something and then suddenly the wind 610 00:25:28,709 --> 00:25:34,030 Speaker 1: around them blowing. Then you're like, oh, not in that scenario. 611 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,209 Speaker 1: But my first, my first boyfriend was a friend first 612 00:25:37,459 --> 00:25:40,550 Speaker 1: and I didn't find him attractive. I didn't like him 613 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,430 Speaker 1: at first. But he was so funny to me. Like, 614 00:25:43,739 --> 00:25:45,319 Speaker 1: we were just best friends and we were laughing a 615 00:25:45,329 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: lot and we just get each other along and eventually 616 00:25:50,839 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: I realized why I like you. 617 00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: It wasn't like a sudden, sudden moment, but a gradual 618 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,849 Speaker 1: growth of feelings. Have you ever had a dream of 619 00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:04,959 Speaker 1: a friend? Like maybe it's just like you just dream 620 00:26:04,969 --> 00:26:07,500 Speaker 1: of them in a situation, not even anything and you 621 00:26:07,510 --> 00:26:11,329 Speaker 1: wake up, you're like, oh, something has changed. Have right? No, no, sorry. 622 00:26:11,339 --> 00:26:16,459 Speaker 1: I dreamt of them in an inappropriate manner. Ok? But 623 00:26:16,469 --> 00:26:17,719 Speaker 1: then I was grossed out 624 00:26:18,319 --> 00:26:21,349 Speaker 1: and the next day I'm like, oh my God, we cannot. 625 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,609 Speaker 2: So then it yours is reinforced. 626 00:26:24,819 --> 00:26:29,369 Speaker 1: So interesting. My super first boyfriend right after I like 627 00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:32,069 Speaker 1: my first ever like boyfriend. I broke up with him. 628 00:26:32,079 --> 00:26:32,550 Speaker 1: Then 629 00:26:33,430 --> 00:26:35,169 Speaker 1: I think a year later I dreamt of him. I 630 00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:38,239 Speaker 1: was like, I like him again then patch. 631 00:26:39,589 --> 00:26:40,380 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that 632 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:41,479 Speaker 1: happens actually. 633 00:26:41,489 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 2: Something that's quite interesting that I realize, you know, like 634 00:26:44,530 --> 00:26:47,630 Speaker 2: the whole concept of like nice guys. There are some 635 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 2: dudes that they like just fall into this category of 636 00:26:50,689 --> 00:26:53,349 Speaker 2: like I'm a nice guy. Why nobody want to date me? 637 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,939 Speaker 2: I'm a nice guy. Become a bit of it in 638 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:59,060 Speaker 2: itself or so, a lot of these dudes they try 639 00:26:59,069 --> 00:27:01,589 Speaker 2: to go in through this route where, like, I just 640 00:27:01,599 --> 00:27:02,959 Speaker 2: go to become your friend first 641 00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 2: and then, like, you know, I'm such a good friend 642 00:27:05,770 --> 00:27:08,250 Speaker 2: kind of thing. It's a slow, yeah. And then, like, 643 00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:10,469 Speaker 2: they try to become a friend then after like, ha ha. 644 00:27:10,569 --> 00:27:14,649 Speaker 2: Isn't it funny how close we are? And like, you know, 645 00:27:14,660 --> 00:27:17,369 Speaker 2: Ha ha. Isn't it funny how everybody is shipping us? 646 00:27:19,069 --> 00:27:22,319 Speaker 1: And this wouldn't be so great as a couple? No, 647 00:27:22,329 --> 00:27:24,079 Speaker 1: I literally had a friend like that. He kept saying 648 00:27:24,089 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: that this girl he likes but he kept not telling 649 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:28,449 Speaker 1: me who she was and then she kept not showing 650 00:27:28,459 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: up or like cannot make it or he cannot meet her. 651 00:27:30,689 --> 00:27:32,129 Speaker 1: So all the gifts that he buy for her, he 652 00:27:32,140 --> 00:27:34,219 Speaker 1: just keep giving to me. Then I was like, 653 00:27:34,510 --> 00:27:37,030 Speaker 1: I'm not stupid. Like I'm like, then you give someone 654 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,589 Speaker 1: else should never come is all poor thing. OK? Then 655 00:27:39,599 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 1: you give somebody else I don't want, he's like, no, no, 656 00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:43,810 Speaker 1: you take it, you take it because I know you 657 00:27:43,819 --> 00:27:47,250 Speaker 1: like this anyway. Hey, you want to like someone just can, 658 00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:49,458 Speaker 1: can like, OK, just don't 659 00:27:49,609 --> 00:27:50,879 Speaker 2: do this at all. 660 00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:53,930 Speaker 1: Oh My God, can I please say right? I got 661 00:27:53,939 --> 00:27:56,010 Speaker 1: so frustrated because I was like, OK, I keep 662 00:27:56,135 --> 00:27:58,834 Speaker 1: him, bro. I kept drawing my boundaries very clear. You 663 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,515 Speaker 1: don't communicate with me, right? You keep saying as a girl. 664 00:28:01,525 --> 00:28:03,645 Speaker 1: So I said, OK, let me help you with her 665 00:28:03,655 --> 00:28:06,234 Speaker 1: because it worked on the guy that I'm talking to 666 00:28:06,244 --> 00:28:08,984 Speaker 1: now like, like there was no guy, but I just 667 00:28:08,994 --> 00:28:10,954 Speaker 1: wanted to make it very clear. We are friends. We 668 00:28:10,964 --> 00:28:12,974 Speaker 1: were gonna go for a job interview together because we 669 00:28:12,984 --> 00:28:16,714 Speaker 1: just graduated from secondary school, right? And then he was like, 670 00:28:16,724 --> 00:28:17,405 Speaker 1: I'm gonna 671 00:28:17,819 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: pick you up from your house. I said no, it's OK. 672 00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:21,780 Speaker 1: We can take MRT like and me at the job 673 00:28:21,790 --> 00:28:24,609 Speaker 1: interview site. Tell me why I woke up to the 674 00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:27,419 Speaker 1: sounds of a male voice in my kitchen talking to 675 00:28:27,430 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: my helper. I will surprise you. They were making pancakes. Ok? 676 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:34,139 Speaker 1: Then he said you up. No, no, no. Please go 677 00:28:34,150 --> 00:28:37,479 Speaker 1: back to your bed. I'm like with an apron. 678 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:41,724 Speaker 1: There was a roast on my dining table and I'm 679 00:28:41,734 --> 00:28:45,444 Speaker 1: just like, I want to like, I can't do this anymore. 680 00:28:45,454 --> 00:28:45,645 Speaker 1: A bit 681 00:28:45,655 --> 00:28:47,344 Speaker 2: extreme because I think that one is like, he will 682 00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:48,724 Speaker 2: be chasing you already but 683 00:28:48,744 --> 00:28:50,405 Speaker 1: a bit chasing you literally. 684 00:28:50,744 --> 00:28:53,645 Speaker 2: True. I got a friends that are really like, wouldn't 685 00:28:53,655 --> 00:28:55,314 Speaker 2: it be so funny if we prank everyone that we 686 00:28:55,324 --> 00:28:56,094 Speaker 2: are together? 687 00:28:58,829 --> 00:28:59,530 Speaker 2: So funny. 688 00:29:00,050 --> 00:29:00,089 Speaker 1: Stop 689 00:29:01,550 --> 00:29:03,890 Speaker 1: before we end this theory, right? What is one way 690 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:07,709 Speaker 1: to friend zone someone as in politely? So I always 691 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:12,209 Speaker 1: or because I don't want to make it awkward for 692 00:29:12,219 --> 00:29:15,069 Speaker 1: you where I have let you know that I know 693 00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:18,069 Speaker 1: about your feelings because I don't want to address it. 694 00:29:18,079 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: I don't want to ruin the friendship. But unfortunately, there 695 00:29:21,410 --> 00:29:23,780 Speaker 1: will be some guys who always hold on to hope 696 00:29:23,790 --> 00:29:26,290 Speaker 1: because the friends are like, no, like she's still talking 697 00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:28,390 Speaker 1: to you. Right. So there's hope. There's always, I stop, 698 00:29:28,604 --> 00:29:31,165 Speaker 1: stop giving your friends false hope that like, even a 699 00:29:31,185 --> 00:29:33,885 Speaker 1: high to the girls in their life, you know, it's 700 00:29:33,895 --> 00:29:37,505 Speaker 1: so hard. Like I'm like, I'm there like reinforcing my 701 00:29:37,515 --> 00:29:42,295 Speaker 1: very clear. I said, like you, my like greatest friends, 702 00:29:42,454 --> 00:29:44,494 Speaker 1: I said, oh, yeah, bro, I 703 00:29:44,505 --> 00:29:47,055 Speaker 2: think don't say you're one of my greatest friends. That's 704 00:29:47,064 --> 00:29:49,964 Speaker 2: a bit of the friend. I was like, the night 705 00:29:49,974 --> 00:29:51,844 Speaker 2: is exactly what I said. The nice guys will try 706 00:29:51,854 --> 00:29:53,635 Speaker 2: to go in through the friend route to reply 707 00:29:53,645 --> 00:29:55,834 Speaker 1: late as in like reply two days late, right? That's 708 00:29:55,844 --> 00:29:58,354 Speaker 1: my sign, my signal to them that 709 00:29:59,010 --> 00:29:59,579 Speaker 1: nola 710 00:30:00,359 --> 00:30:04,239 Speaker 1: we are not anything. The next theory is the invisible 711 00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:08,050 Speaker 1: string theory. So what this means is that everyone has 712 00:30:08,060 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: someone destined for them bound together by an invisible string 713 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:15,569 Speaker 1: that transcends time distance and geography. You will find each 714 00:30:15,579 --> 00:30:17,979 Speaker 1: other when the time is, right. Basically, 715 00:30:18,619 --> 00:30:21,209 Speaker 1: there was a point in time that you guys would 716 00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:24,099 Speaker 1: have met before. So many examples. It's like, for example, 717 00:30:24,109 --> 00:30:28,750 Speaker 1: this guy kept saying like, oh OK, he speaks very 718 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,689 Speaker 1: funny of his grandma 719 00:30:30,140 --> 00:30:32,589 Speaker 1: and then his grandma passed. So they were looking through 720 00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:36,650 Speaker 1: photos and they basically found out through looking at the 721 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:39,329 Speaker 1: albums that they were both at Disneyland at the same time. 722 00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:41,510 Speaker 1: So then she went to look at her photos already 723 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: because I'm married already. Right? And then she noticed it 724 00:30:44,170 --> 00:30:47,290 Speaker 1: was the same day and as she looked at her photos, 725 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:50,020 Speaker 1: she saw her grandma in the background taking the photo 726 00:30:50,030 --> 00:30:51,859 Speaker 1: that they have of the grandma, 727 00:30:52,609 --> 00:30:54,319 Speaker 2: but it's a one guy, right? Don't get so 728 00:30:54,329 --> 00:30:55,219 Speaker 1: many like that. 729 00:30:55,229 --> 00:30:57,390 Speaker 2: So you and Charlie, what is your strength? No, no, no. 730 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,829 Speaker 1: We're not saying that everyone has this. You're not saying 731 00:30:59,839 --> 00:31:03,030 Speaker 1: that every couple must have invisible. It's just that, that 732 00:31:03,390 --> 00:31:06,339 Speaker 1: invisible string theory. It could be friends or like I 733 00:31:06,349 --> 00:31:08,910 Speaker 1: have a friend where we have so many mutual friends, right? 734 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:09,420 Speaker 1: Like 735 00:31:09,569 --> 00:31:11,959 Speaker 2: we are over complicating this a bit. I believe that 736 00:31:11,969 --> 00:31:14,189 Speaker 2: there's another word for it is called coincidence 737 00:31:15,780 --> 00:31:16,790 Speaker 2: you got here before. 738 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,699 Speaker 1: Coincidence is like, oh my God, you also like like 739 00:31:19,969 --> 00:31:21,489 Speaker 2: this the same day as me. No, 740 00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:21,780 Speaker 1: I don't 741 00:31:21,790 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: think it's a coincidence anymore. There are stories about like 742 00:31:24,010 --> 00:31:24,369 Speaker 1: LD 743 00:31:25,359 --> 00:31:28,660 Speaker 1: like two people. They are far away from each other. 744 00:31:28,670 --> 00:31:32,910 Speaker 1: Not like in Singapore where you can be in 335, 745 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,540 Speaker 1: class 35 and then a three or something. Then I 746 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,449 Speaker 1: also from 747 00:31:38,579 --> 00:31:40,109 Speaker 2: last time we go in tuition. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 748 00:31:40,119 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: Like if let's say there's an LDR story, two people 749 00:31:44,810 --> 00:31:47,650 Speaker 1: from different locations right far away and then they actually 750 00:31:47,660 --> 00:31:50,099 Speaker 1: have this story is quite insane. Sometimes. 751 00:31:50,290 --> 00:31:52,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's just the way the world works. 752 00:31:52,989 --> 00:31:55,650 Speaker 1: Skeptical. OK. I have a story. I have a story 753 00:31:56,239 --> 00:31:59,969 Speaker 1: is the closest story to an invisible string, the invisible 754 00:31:59,979 --> 00:32:02,380 Speaker 1: string theory. OK. There was this one day I went 755 00:32:02,390 --> 00:32:04,949 Speaker 1: to San side with my girlfriends and then we were, 756 00:32:04,959 --> 00:32:07,359 Speaker 1: we were all just chilling and I was the only 757 00:32:07,369 --> 00:32:07,910 Speaker 1: single one. 758 00:32:07,989 --> 00:32:10,959 Speaker 1: Then my friends were joking about it saying you just 759 00:32:10,969 --> 00:32:13,410 Speaker 1: randomly go and fall in front of a guy like 760 00:32:13,420 --> 00:32:16,699 Speaker 1: you see those buff guys over there, right? Your type, right? 761 00:32:16,709 --> 00:32:19,010 Speaker 1: Just go and pretend to like fall and then maybe 762 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:22,060 Speaker 1: they help you. It was a joke. Then I was like, yeah, 763 00:32:22,069 --> 00:32:24,949 Speaker 1: that guy quite cute. I pointed at one specific guy 764 00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:26,979 Speaker 1: and then my friend and I were like eyeing on 765 00:32:26,989 --> 00:32:30,319 Speaker 1: him and at one point I was leaving the place 766 00:32:30,329 --> 00:32:33,750 Speaker 1: we both made eye contact and I told my friend, yeah, 767 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,849 Speaker 1: he's cute but we didn't do anything about it. 768 00:32:36,829 --> 00:32:39,689 Speaker 1: Two weeks later, I match with that guy on Tinder 769 00:32:39,699 --> 00:32:40,819 Speaker 1: on PM 770 00:32:41,540 --> 00:32:43,979 Speaker 1: and we didn't find out immediately. So I dated this 771 00:32:43,989 --> 00:32:47,329 Speaker 1: guy and, and I think about three weeks in, right? 772 00:32:47,339 --> 00:32:50,069 Speaker 1: We were just talking about how much we both love 773 00:32:50,079 --> 00:32:52,589 Speaker 1: the beach. And I said, yeah, I just recently went 774 00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:55,310 Speaker 1: like one month ago. Then he said, oh, same. Then 775 00:32:55,319 --> 00:32:58,239 Speaker 1: I was like beach area. Then he also, yeah, same. 776 00:32:58,550 --> 00:33:03,819 Speaker 1: Then I realized, right? This guy looks exactly the same 777 00:33:03,829 --> 00:33:06,319 Speaker 1: as the guy that I ID on. Ok. 778 00:33:06,709 --> 00:33:09,530 Speaker 1: And then I, and then I asked him open your 779 00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,729 Speaker 1: phone calendar. Which day do you go to Tanjong Beach? 780 00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:14,569 Speaker 1: And then we both say 18, 781 00:33:16,199 --> 00:33:18,449 Speaker 1: you know, I was the both of us screamed, we 782 00:33:18,469 --> 00:33:20,020 Speaker 1: were as a media scream. We were like, oh my God, 783 00:33:20,030 --> 00:33:20,989 Speaker 1: what the, what the what 784 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:21,849 Speaker 2: coincidence 785 00:33:22,729 --> 00:33:26,939 Speaker 1: me. Stop you very like. No, but ok, that one 786 00:33:26,949 --> 00:33:30,790 Speaker 1: really was a bit mind blowing to me because I 787 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,589 Speaker 1: don't even know what's his name or how he looks 788 00:33:33,599 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 1: like close up. I saw him from a distance and 789 00:33:36,770 --> 00:33:39,069 Speaker 1: then anyway, we freaked out about it and then I 790 00:33:39,079 --> 00:33:41,829 Speaker 1: asked him to pull out a picture that picture behind 791 00:33:41,839 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: can see like my met with my friends. 792 00:33:44,979 --> 00:33:48,079 Speaker 1: Shut up. There is invisible string theory. But then we 793 00:33:48,089 --> 00:33:51,750 Speaker 1: ended things. So the string cut. Yeah, we cut the 794 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:52,099 Speaker 1: string, 795 00:33:52,550 --> 00:33:54,010 Speaker 2: you just reach the end of the string. 796 00:33:54,290 --> 00:33:54,739 Speaker 1: But yes, 797 00:33:54,750 --> 00:33:57,949 Speaker 1: that was the most crazy 798 00:33:57,969 --> 00:34:01,209 Speaker 2: data. I mean, I get it like, yeah, quite mind lowing. 799 00:34:01,219 --> 00:34:04,229 Speaker 2: But then to me it's like, what's the point? What's 800 00:34:04,239 --> 00:34:04,969 Speaker 2: the point like? 801 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 1: I think it's just 802 00:34:05,939 --> 00:34:08,459 Speaker 1: like, oh, isn't it so cool? How we are all connected? 803 00:34:08,469 --> 00:34:10,479 Speaker 1: Full stop doing to think more of it. It's just 804 00:34:10,489 --> 00:34:12,919 Speaker 1: a cute, sweet little sentiment. You 805 00:34:12,929 --> 00:34:14,199 Speaker 2: go watch a past life. 806 00:34:14,780 --> 00:34:15,580 Speaker 1: Yes. 807 00:34:15,659 --> 00:34:16,340 Speaker 2: You like, 808 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,759 Speaker 1: I like I cried so much. Can you spoil it? 809 00:34:18,770 --> 00:34:19,609 Speaker 1: What is past lives 810 00:34:19,620 --> 00:34:19,959 Speaker 1: about? 811 00:34:19,969 --> 00:34:21,500 Speaker 2: I think. Don't bother be boring. 812 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:23,340 Speaker 1: Your 813 00:34:23,350 --> 00:34:26,929 Speaker 1: energy is very bad. Now, I don't like it when 814 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:29,790 Speaker 1: I first met Charlie, he was asking me about my tattoos. Ok, 815 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,060 Speaker 1: so 23 I had a 23 asked me why my 816 00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:35,159 Speaker 1: ex was born on the 23rd. My dad is born 817 00:34:35,169 --> 00:34:38,388 Speaker 1: a 23rd. Then he said I'm born on the 23rd. Ok. 818 00:34:38,399 --> 00:34:42,310 Speaker 1: First one. Ok. Second one. My, his best friend 819 00:34:42,408 --> 00:34:45,029 Speaker 1: name is the same as my ex's name. His aunt 820 00:34:45,039 --> 00:34:48,388 Speaker 1: has the same breed as like dog, same breed as mine. Ok. 821 00:34:48,398 --> 00:34:50,928 Speaker 1: The names damn similar la la, la la. Then his 822 00:34:50,938 --> 00:34:53,458 Speaker 1: brother as a dog is the same name that my 823 00:34:53,468 --> 00:34:58,397 Speaker 1: ex and I named his dog Chinese year one year old. 824 00:34:58,518 --> 00:35:01,579 Speaker 1: One year 96. He's 96. I'm 95. But the one 825 00:35:01,589 --> 00:35:02,468 Speaker 1: is what? 826 00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:08,929 Speaker 1: So no, let me, let me tell you his grandma 827 00:35:08,939 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 1: died the day I was born. One cannot, don't people 828 00:35:13,290 --> 00:35:14,699 Speaker 1: are die, you cannot la two 829 00:35:14,709 --> 00:35:18,290 Speaker 2: plus three is five. You are born +952 times +36. 830 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,290 Speaker 2: He's born +96. What the hell. 831 00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:27,979 Speaker 1: Ok. You know you are skeptic, skeptic. Those people who 832 00:35:27,989 --> 00:35:30,969 Speaker 1: believe in these things, right are with you and if 833 00:35:30,979 --> 00:35:33,729 Speaker 1: you're not, you also are not, it's OK. It doesn't 834 00:35:33,739 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 1: happen to everyone. But if it happens to you and 835 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:39,699 Speaker 1: that story is amazing to tell, go tell that story, 836 00:35:39,709 --> 00:35:42,219 Speaker 1: just don't tell from people like your story was quite cool, 837 00:35:42,370 --> 00:35:43,839 Speaker 1: but you didn't really react. You did this 838 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:44,419 Speaker 1: here. 839 00:35:44,889 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 2: It was quite a solid coincidence. 840 00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:48,159 Speaker 1: It really was, 841 00:35:49,379 --> 00:35:50,729 Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, these are 842 00:35:50,739 --> 00:35:51,719 Speaker 1: just theories, 843 00:35:51,729 --> 00:35:52,879 Speaker 2: coping mechanism. 844 00:35:53,209 --> 00:35:53,479 Speaker 1: It's 845 00:35:53,489 --> 00:35:57,569 Speaker 1: not science. Some can view as a coping mechanism, some 846 00:35:57,580 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: can use it to make sense or help ease through life. 847 00:36:02,530 --> 00:36:05,569 Speaker 1: Because there are patterns we as human beings, we recognize 848 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: patterns and patterns help us feel comfortable and navigate life easier. 849 00:36:09,530 --> 00:36:11,989 Speaker 1: So these little patterns, if they help you, then they 850 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,399 Speaker 1: help you take what you will out of the 851 00:36:13,409 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 2: theories to me, right? I feel like 852 00:36:15,219 --> 00:36:18,149 Speaker 2: it's very important to not be and this is just 853 00:36:18,159 --> 00:36:21,330 Speaker 2: my opinion to not be overly reliant on these patterns. 854 00:36:21,340 --> 00:36:25,489 Speaker 2: Because if you let like these sort of theories like 855 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:28,949 Speaker 2: shape and guide and control how you approach like your 856 00:36:28,959 --> 00:36:33,159 Speaker 2: relationships and love, right? Then it's quite dangerous because you 857 00:36:33,169 --> 00:36:35,629 Speaker 2: need to consider that you are a unique person, your 858 00:36:35,639 --> 00:36:38,469 Speaker 2: potential partner and the relationship that you will be in 859 00:36:38,479 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 2: the dynamic 860 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,580 Speaker 2: is completely unique to both of you. So if you're 861 00:36:42,590 --> 00:36:45,949 Speaker 2: going to start listening to theories or other people's like 862 00:36:45,959 --> 00:36:48,549 Speaker 2: stories and like you should do this, you should do that. Oh, 863 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:49,989 Speaker 2: don't you think it's so interesting? Then 864 00:36:50,810 --> 00:36:52,790 Speaker 2: it's not gonna set you up for success. 865 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,549 Speaker 1: I think that's a social media in general. Like not 866 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,408 Speaker 1: every story or you might not even have a meet, 867 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,909 Speaker 1: you know, I mean, if you have no invisible string 868 00:37:02,919 --> 00:37:04,929 Speaker 1: with your partner, maybe you do the string, then you 869 00:37:04,939 --> 00:37:07,330 Speaker 1: do the damn string. Like it's still a great relationship. 870 00:37:07,340 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 1: If anything, it's just like tarot card reading or fortune 871 00:37:09,729 --> 00:37:12,699 Speaker 1: telling you just listen and then if it aligns it aligns, 872 00:37:12,709 --> 00:37:15,199 Speaker 1: if you don't know, take what resonates. Yes. What 873 00:37:15,209 --> 00:37:18,350 Speaker 2: doesn't? Just because you never bump into your partner or 874 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:22,250 Speaker 2: husband or wife in Disneyland 20 years ago, doesn't mean 875 00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:23,449 Speaker 2: you're not meant to be together. 876 00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:27,049 Speaker 1: Not wrong, not wrong, not wrong. 877 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:30,530 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us on the hot pot. 878 00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:33,569 Speaker 1: Please comment down below your favorite theory, how you feel 879 00:37:33,580 --> 00:37:35,379 Speaker 1: about them. Do you agree with Nick or do you 880 00:37:35,389 --> 00:37:38,179 Speaker 1: agree with Q and I pick a side? And also, 881 00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:40,189 Speaker 1: is there any other theories that we've missed out? Please 882 00:37:40,199 --> 00:37:42,159 Speaker 1: let us know. I'm sure Nick would love to find 883 00:37:42,169 --> 00:37:43,129 Speaker 1: out more about them. 884 00:37:43,679 --> 00:37:46,479 Speaker 2: Indeed. You can also listen to us on Apple podcast, 885 00:37:46,489 --> 00:37:49,209 Speaker 2: Spotify and me. Listen. Don't forget to subscribe to our 886 00:37:49,219 --> 00:37:50,669 Speaker 2: channel if you haven't already 887 00:37:50,699 --> 00:37:53,409 Speaker 1: and we will see you guys in the next episode. Bye. 888 00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:57,310 Speaker 2: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Hot Pot 889 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,590 Speaker 2: where we hop into different transitions in life. I'm 890 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,659 Speaker 1: Nick, I'm Joey. 891 00:38:00,790 --> 00:38:01,429 Speaker 1: Thank you. 892 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:03,590 Speaker 1: Why? 893 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:04,629 Speaker 2: Professional? 894 00:38:04,639 --> 00:38:09,149 Speaker 1: I'm laughing because we're laughing about something else just now. OK. See, 895 00:38:09,159 --> 00:38:10,229 Speaker 1: can be professionally. 896 00:38:10,409 --> 00:38:10,419 Speaker 2: I 897 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 2: just realized that I blow my the fan for very 898 00:38:13,290 --> 00:38:14,509 Speaker 2: long there. I never should 899 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,020 Speaker 1: be the actual intro.