WEBVTT - Financial intimacy: How to talk to your partner about money? 0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:03.500 Hey Sony Welcome back to another episode of men, explain 0:00:03.510 --> 0:00:06.740 this time around. I feel a slightly touchy topic that 0:00:06.740 --> 0:00:10.619 we're going to delve into financial intimacy. 0:00:19.220 --> 0:00:23.140 How much do you tell your partner what is considered? Okay, 0:00:23.140 --> 0:00:25.239 what should we not say? I don't know. I've got 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.460 so many questions in my mind right now and with 0:00:27.460 --> 0:00:31.280 me today we've got the work salaryman. Welcome guys, Thank you. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.660 Thank you for having us tell us more about yourself. 0:00:33.659 --> 0:00:36.080 You can introduce yourself to our audience too. So my 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:39.090 name is Remy, I write the stuff for and 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:42.740 my name is wei chun, I typically draw, but now 0:00:42.740 --> 0:00:45.190 also do other stuff like the video stuff and sometimes 0:00:45.190 --> 0:00:47.419 all right. But with women's expert help. 0:00:47.770 --> 0:00:49.450 Okay, so I mean of course we know that you 0:00:49.450 --> 0:00:51.990 have a huge social media presence but we hardly get 0:00:51.990 --> 0:00:53.830 to sit down with the both of you to chat. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:55.620 The last time I chatted with you guys was on 0:00:55.630 --> 0:00:57.360 zoom actually very 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.300 nervous and very scary. But 0:00:59.310 --> 0:01:00.160 why was it that 0:01:00.170 --> 0:01:01.950 you don't have much time on the radio? It's always 0:01:01.950 --> 0:01:04.600 like 10, 10, 15 minute segment then it feels like 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:06.390 with financial stuff like you need to cover all your 0:01:06.390 --> 0:01:10.320 bases unless like unless you missed something out and then 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.350 also you and joe kim's energy. Quite intimidating to us. 0:01:13.350 --> 0:01:16.149 I think because you are so like polished Effervescence. 0:01:16.170 --> 0:01:20.220 Just pure energy. And it was that it was very 0:01:20.220 --> 0:01:20.650 scary 0:01:20.650 --> 0:01:24.030 when you say a lesson like bubbly 0:01:24.490 --> 0:01:28.789 bubbly. Alright. You put that thing inside the water. Your energy. 0:01:28.790 --> 0:01:29.420 I think that you 0:01:29.420 --> 0:01:32.910 would like a reduction. And how would you describe your 0:01:32.910 --> 0:01:35.650 energy then, in in that metaphorical sense. 0:01:35.940 --> 0:01:36.770 Turtle, 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:39.140 slow and 0:01:39.150 --> 0:01:42.300 nautical. There's good things about that also. But you know, 0:01:42.310 --> 0:01:44.569 for radio, I was like, well that's not good. 0:01:45.060 --> 0:01:46.300 Okay, try 0:01:46.300 --> 0:01:49.150 my hyper voice and it's still you and joking. Just 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:52.080 okay, you got to give us some some hype voice 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:55.380 and energy. Okay, we'll try to try. Okay, we're going 0:01:55.380 --> 0:01:57.880 to kick things off right here. Now, financial intimacy. I 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:00.560 mean that is a broad topic here. Today. I'm just 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:04.050 going to ask you first, what are your relationship status 0:02:04.050 --> 0:02:07.529 is actually? Let's start with you. So I am renting 0:02:07.530 --> 0:02:10.940 a apartment with my my girlfriend together for five years 0:02:10.950 --> 0:02:13.870 I think because your girlfriend was your primary schools, 0:02:14.163 --> 0:02:14.672 secondary school. 0:02:14.883 --> 0:02:18.512 Secondary school was fantastic. How many people got to date 0:02:18.513 --> 0:02:18.963 the second? 0:02:18.963 --> 0:02:21.673 Yeah, I mean, we haven't been dating since high school. 0:02:21.673 --> 0:02:24.443 I was only cool enough to date her in my twenties. Okay. 0:02:24.563 --> 0:02:27.693 Only passed the vibe. Check. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, 0:02:28.073 --> 0:02:29.252 check on network check. 0:02:29.263 --> 0:02:33.153 Oh no, I think 0:02:34.353 --> 0:02:34.613 I'm 0:02:34.613 --> 0:02:37.033 just Yeah, just messengers messages. 0:02:37.653 --> 0:02:43.250 I'm married. My my wife was actually my, my first 0:02:43.266 --> 0:02:47.026 Serious girlfriend and I met her in university. So that 0:02:47.026 --> 0:02:52.116 was 20 2010. We became attached. It's been a while. 0:02:52.126 --> 0:02:54.966 We're older couple. I 0:02:54.976 --> 0:02:58.196 mean you guys have been through so much together over 0:02:58.196 --> 0:03:01.456 the past few years and you guys obviously would talk 0:03:01.456 --> 0:03:04.856 about your financial status as well, right? Seeing what you 0:03:04.856 --> 0:03:07.166 do and all that. Okay, so also I think for 0:03:07.166 --> 0:03:09.666 the benefit of our audience, tell us a bit about 0:03:09.666 --> 0:03:12.366 your channel and what you guys do just very briefly. 0:03:12.900 --> 0:03:17.260 So we run this blog or social media page called 0:03:17.260 --> 0:03:20.230 the work salaryman, basically what we try to do is 0:03:20.230 --> 0:03:22.940 that we try to make the boring and often difficult 0:03:22.940 --> 0:03:26.720 topic of personal finance a bit more interesting and also 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:29.490 easy to understand. So 0:03:29.500 --> 0:03:32.100 we don't just talk about financial stuff. Also sometimes we 0:03:32.100 --> 0:03:36.070 do like because your personal, your finances does over like 0:03:36.070 --> 0:03:38.540 with a lot of other areas of life, like relationships, 0:03:38.540 --> 0:03:41.650 especially your parents, your loved ones, your siblings and all 0:03:41.650 --> 0:03:43.430 that stuff, you know? So there's a lot of other 0:03:43.430 --> 0:03:46.820 stuff to talk about also. So it's not just about 0:03:46.820 --> 0:03:49.110 maximizing the amount of money you earn and keep. Its 0:03:49.110 --> 0:03:51.510 also about what do you want in life, how much 0:03:51.510 --> 0:03:54.460 money do you need and why are you working so 0:03:54.460 --> 0:03:56.440 hard for something? You know, like it's all these other 0:03:56.450 --> 0:03:57.730 topics surrounding money that 0:03:57.910 --> 0:04:01.720 also have to be talked alongside. Just the mathematical objective 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:03.120 aspects of earning money. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:05.820 I think like your, your values, your philosophy, you know, 0:04:05.830 --> 0:04:08.810 historical things that shape, how other people might think about money. 0:04:08.820 --> 0:04:11.470 So all these things come into play when you consider 0:04:11.470 --> 0:04:13.240 like how are you going to handle your finance? 0:04:13.255 --> 0:04:16.075 Yeah, I mean just like you manage your money, you've 0:04:16.075 --> 0:04:17.835 got to manage the people around you as well when 0:04:17.835 --> 0:04:20.625 it comes to that. Right? So the question is, how 0:04:20.625 --> 0:04:24.665 much do you tell your partner about your finances? How 0:04:24.665 --> 0:04:26.554 much do you guys share between each other as a 0:04:26.555 --> 0:04:28.905 couple who wants to start first? 0:04:28.915 --> 0:04:30.164 Really will start first? 0:04:30.175 --> 0:04:34.545 I first. Okay. I think when it comes to my girlfriend, 0:04:34.545 --> 0:04:36.505 I think I'll tell her like as much as she 0:04:36.505 --> 0:04:39.770 wants to know. Yeah. But I think 0:04:40.570 --> 0:04:42.580 that really depends, you know like from couple to couple 0:04:42.580 --> 0:04:44.960 what the other person actually wants to know because different 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:49.800 people have different knowledge on finances. My girlfriend, she's quiet, 0:04:49.810 --> 0:04:53.320 she's quite well versed in the financial space, what industry? 0:04:53.330 --> 0:04:56.800 She's a real estate agent. So I mean for example 0:04:56.810 --> 0:04:59.620 she would need to know like people's whether or not 0:04:59.620 --> 0:05:01.940 they can afford a property. You know how much, you 0:05:01.940 --> 0:05:04.930 know they might be able to pay for mortgage. Everyone 0:05:04.940 --> 0:05:07.890 and all these often come finances. So she knows about 0:05:07.890 --> 0:05:09.000 finances and 0:05:09.420 --> 0:05:12.840 whenever she has questions, she just asked me, oh you 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:14.700 know how much can you afford to pay for rent 0:05:14.700 --> 0:05:17.750 this month or like what's the most expensive place we 0:05:17.750 --> 0:05:20.680 could possibly get. And then I just tell her sometimes 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.140 we she can do the math and figure it out 0:05:23.370 --> 0:05:25.750 in some way because she also invest in like the 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:27.720 stock market. And so we were like 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.090 sometimes go on long walks and like a bit about 0:05:30.089 --> 0:05:32.020 how the market is doing. That's what you do on 0:05:32.020 --> 0:05:35.130 your long walks you about money. I bit about people 0:05:35.130 --> 0:05:41.050 straight up, you know so much about like the macroeconomic conditions. 0:05:41.050 --> 0:05:41.920 Oh no. You know 0:05:41.930 --> 0:05:42.900 that's what it takes today. 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:46.660 That's 100 is down 15%. Oh man. How's everything doing? 0:05:46.670 --> 0:05:49.370 I literally cannot really at this point. I 0:05:49.980 --> 0:05:51.430 I mean, I mean, of course we do other stuff 0:05:51.430 --> 0:05:55.820 like that. Maybe like such as 20%. Okay. Don't don't 0:05:55.820 --> 0:05:58.730 put too much. You're stressing me out. This is men explaining, 0:05:59.190 --> 0:06:02.930 explaining to do. All right, right. You know, it's not 0:06:02.930 --> 0:06:04.910 the it's not the only thing we do. 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.779 But do you discuss the amount of money that you 0:06:07.779 --> 0:06:09.580 have? That was my next question. 0:06:09.675 --> 0:06:10.445 What do we do? We do? 0:06:10.455 --> 0:06:11.945 So you just show her to her. 0:06:11.955 --> 0:06:14.994 No, I don't show her. Just say like, oh, you 0:06:14.995 --> 0:06:21.005 know what your monthly average on average because she's arrest agent. 0:06:21.015 --> 0:06:23.784 There are, there are like dry months and they're like 0:06:24.005 --> 0:06:26.635 that they raced up and down. So I mean, she'll 0:06:26.635 --> 0:06:29.375 tell me this man was a bad month for me. 0:06:29.385 --> 0:06:30.850 You know, 0:06:31.150 --> 0:06:33.299 I didn't close like a lot of deals also to 0:06:33.300 --> 0:06:35.089 pay for the car. There's a lot of marketing costs 0:06:35.100 --> 0:06:37.429 now coming okay. This man was okay man for me. 0:06:37.430 --> 0:06:38.969 You know, I did a lot of freelance articles, 0:06:38.980 --> 0:06:41.410 but don't show the bank account. Don't show the number. 0:06:41.410 --> 0:06:43.849 I mean, I mean that's what this interview and now, 0:06:43.850 --> 0:06:47.290 by the way, this is like you need like receipts 0:06:47.290 --> 0:06:50.500 right for them. But I bought you flowers. Here's a receipt. 0:06:50.510 --> 0:06:52.210 You don't do that right? You do that. I don't know. 0:06:52.226 --> 0:06:56.016 I don't show receipt but we do tell each other 0:06:56.016 --> 0:06:57.946 what our network. I mean if she asked me I 0:06:57.946 --> 0:06:58.486 will tell her 0:06:58.496 --> 0:06:59.705 you will you will show 0:06:59.706 --> 0:07:02.476 it's not like something that I hired her. She asked 0:07:02.476 --> 0:07:04.636 me recently how much money I have and I just 0:07:04.636 --> 0:07:05.026 tell her 0:07:05.036 --> 0:07:07.746 did you give her like a vague idea or it's 0:07:07.746 --> 0:07:08.656 pretty close to the truth. 0:07:08.656 --> 0:07:10.796 It's pretty close. Yeah. I mean it's not 0:07:10.806 --> 0:07:12.846 a married couple. I mean these are things you have 0:07:12.846 --> 0:07:13.286 to 0:07:13.302 --> 0:07:13.652 I 0:07:13.662 --> 0:07:16.532 mean that's just cash a council because we also invest. 0:07:16.532 --> 0:07:19.852 So there's another amount up there. So but I think 0:07:19.862 --> 0:07:22.552 she's just asking in terms of like because right now 0:07:22.552 --> 0:07:24.492 she here that the market is going down whether she 0:07:24.492 --> 0:07:26.702 should invest. And then she's asking in terms of how 0:07:26.702 --> 0:07:28.642 much cash should I keep and when I'm holding too 0:07:28.642 --> 0:07:31.992 much cash for her own sake. So I think our 0:07:31.992 --> 0:07:34.380 approach is sort of like we have 0:07:35.030 --> 0:07:40.000 we have like a little like a sense of joint 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.910 account is coming into our relationship really but not a 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:44.810 full joint account. 0:07:44.810 --> 0:07:46.360 So you don't have a joint account. 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:49.630 We do not but we do share expenses. There's this 0:07:49.710 --> 0:07:51.500 but that we use called split wise and we've been 0:07:51.500 --> 0:07:54.080 using it since we're university. You see what it does 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.130 is that if I pay for something right I just 0:07:56.130 --> 0:07:56.300 put 0:07:56.310 --> 0:07:59.160 now and it will tell you keep track of everything 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.390 and divide everything. So at the end of the month 0:08:01.390 --> 0:08:03.340 then we'll see, or you owe me 400 this monday 0:08:03.340 --> 0:08:03.900 we transfer, 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:06.940 wow, that is so, you know, I honestly, I'm looking 0:08:06.940 --> 0:08:08.970 at our crew right now and everyone's just like, question 0:08:08.970 --> 0:08:11.400 marks going at the pace is right now, I don't 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:14.580 know whether okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but because, 0:08:14.590 --> 0:08:16.550 you know, you dabble in media, but you also dabble 0:08:16.550 --> 0:08:17.580 in finance and, 0:08:17.590 --> 0:08:19.520 and finance is a part of your everyday life, do 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.330 you think that people in the finance sector would be 0:08:22.330 --> 0:08:25.740 more well versed in communicating such things with their partners 0:08:25.750 --> 0:08:30.100 versus people who are not in financial industries, they may 0:08:30.100 --> 0:08:32.470 find it difficult to even start that kind of conversation 0:08:32.470 --> 0:08:33.910 in the first place, you know, 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:36.930 I think, no, I think because like ultimately when you're 0:08:36.929 --> 0:08:42.819 communicating about finance, um it channels through the relationship, so 0:08:42.830 --> 0:08:45.790 even if you're a finance professional and by your relationship 0:08:45.790 --> 0:08:46.480 is not a, 0:08:46.710 --> 0:08:50.410 at a good open place, you also cannot even broach it, 0:08:50.420 --> 0:08:53.350 it doesn't matter if I know all the terms if 0:08:53.350 --> 0:08:56.220 my approach the relationship is not right, and that's what 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.900 is channeling the money right? Then also cannot really have 0:08:59.900 --> 0:09:01.420 a good proper combo, right? 0:09:01.429 --> 0:09:04.350 You think sometimes like finance professionals can have like the 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.890 curse of knowledge, like they know a lot of like, 0:09:06.900 --> 0:09:11.530 like deep, deep stuff about like money and stuff actually 0:09:11.530 --> 0:09:14.380 when you need to communicate to non finance people on 0:09:14.380 --> 0:09:17.079 a normal level. I think they often struggle. 0:09:17.380 --> 0:09:20.500 So why then do you think people and couples find 0:09:20.500 --> 0:09:23.060 it difficult to talk about money with their loved ones? 0:09:23.059 --> 0:09:26.170 And we're not even talking about just relationships. Sometimes it 0:09:26.170 --> 0:09:28.880 could also be family that we find it challenging to 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:31.490 speak about. Why do you think that's the case? I 0:09:31.490 --> 0:09:31.980 think 0:09:32.500 --> 0:09:35.660 number one, I think in in some like asian societies, 0:09:35.670 --> 0:09:37.700 like maybe hours, like you talk about money, it can 0:09:37.700 --> 0:09:40.880 be seen like, like you're showing off, you're showing off 0:09:40.890 --> 0:09:43.980 like you're being very calculated or other times I think 0:09:43.990 --> 0:09:47.250 there were a whole bunch of local dramas I remember 0:09:47.250 --> 0:09:50.280 in the past like they just portray like whenever the 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.130 kid asked the parents about money, they're trying to steal 0:09:53.130 --> 0:09:56.620 the wealth, you know? And then like sometimes 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.180 the parents who watched that, they're thinking, oh my God, 0:09:59.190 --> 0:10:00.960 is this person trying to steal my wealth so that 0:10:00.970 --> 0:10:03.869 they're like strange subtext whenever you ask like, 0:10:04.550 --> 0:10:07.670 you know how much money you have in your CPF right, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:09.710 I almost expect like why you want to take my 0:10:09.710 --> 0:10:13.460 money is it? I mean that's not if you want 0:10:13.460 --> 0:10:15.960 to have an open conversation about money because if I 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.179 do not know like how much of your CPF, I 0:10:18.179 --> 0:10:19.830 don't know how much I might want to give to 0:10:19.830 --> 0:10:21.449 you or whether or not you need money or whether 0:10:21.450 --> 0:10:21.950 or not, 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:25.390 you know, I'm giving money by actually you don't actually 0:10:25.390 --> 0:10:27.910 wear rich. Right. Right. I get it. But there's so 0:10:27.910 --> 0:10:30.390 much thinking going on back there. Maybe I 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.460 think a lot of it attached to egos or like 0:10:32.470 --> 0:10:34.820 because you would think like your network is attached to 0:10:34.820 --> 0:10:37.370 who you are as a person and like how accomplished 0:10:37.370 --> 0:10:40.980 you were, how successful you are. So I think like 0:10:41.230 --> 0:10:44.140 for a parent to review that kind of thing, that 0:10:44.140 --> 0:10:47.670 can be quite vulnerable that I feel like my dad 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.160 or my mom has never taken me aside to say 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:53.860 I got this amount left. So you gotta prepare, you know, 0:10:53.860 --> 0:10:57.100 something like that. It just feels like maybe it's an 0:10:57.100 --> 0:11:00.679 asian culture thing. Like you don't want to show your 0:11:00.690 --> 0:11:03.250 vulnerability or that you are fallible. And then he says 0:11:03.250 --> 0:11:05.290 because as a parent you don't want to do that, 0:11:05.300 --> 0:11:06.900 especially when you're young, you want to be there to 0:11:06.900 --> 0:11:08.890 protect and stuff. But actually a lot of times 0:11:09.070 --> 0:11:12.189 I heard this quote from rick and morty, like, like 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:14.850 parents are just kids having kids, they're figuring out as 0:11:14.850 --> 0:11:16.210 they go along. I think back to where my dad 0:11:16.210 --> 0:11:18.970 and mom had their first kids younger than me now. 0:11:18.980 --> 0:11:22.640 So they're just figuring out when they are liable to 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.140 be these things inside that they might be insecure. I 0:11:25.140 --> 0:11:26.640 think that's the same reason why also 0:11:26.655 --> 0:11:30.265 feel a bit sometimes like reluctant to talk about finances 0:11:30.275 --> 0:11:32.064 with my loved one also, I mean we try to 0:11:32.065 --> 0:11:35.425 be open, but it's always ego and insecurity that makes 0:11:35.425 --> 0:11:35.955 it difficult 0:11:35.965 --> 0:11:37.974 and sometimes I feel like we tend, we try to 0:11:37.975 --> 0:11:40.275 downplay it as well. I don't know if you've ever 0:11:40.275 --> 0:11:43.175 experienced this in, like, let's say chinese new year reunion 0:11:43.175 --> 0:11:44.235 sort of setting, right? 0:11:44.450 --> 0:11:46.650 Sometimes I go, maybe if I got a new car 0:11:46.660 --> 0:11:48.219 doesn't mean even anything, like I 0:11:48.220 --> 0:11:49.470 just need to change my car, but 0:11:49.470 --> 0:11:51.530 you drive a new car to your relative's place. People 0:11:51.540 --> 0:11:54.920 say regina rich and we're like, oh no, actually no. 0:11:54.929 --> 0:11:55.430 Then you try to 0:11:55.429 --> 0:11:56.209 downplay 0:11:56.220 --> 0:11:57.530 exactly. 0:11:57.740 --> 0:12:00.580 Okay, so then my next question is at what stage 0:12:00.590 --> 0:12:05.469 of your relationship did you decide to share your financial 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:08.460 situation with your partner? Like when did you guys start 0:12:08.460 --> 0:12:10.050 to share this information with each other? 0:12:10.059 --> 0:12:14.080 I think the like beyond just the technical finance bit 0:12:14.090 --> 0:12:15.950 of like how much money I have, how much I'm 0:12:15.950 --> 0:12:18.550 going to turn right. I think couples do need to align, 0:12:18.550 --> 0:12:22.059 especially early on when it comes to projection of money 0:12:22.059 --> 0:12:24.030 because actually projection of money, it's not just money, it's 0:12:24.030 --> 0:12:24.860 projection of 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.820 what, who you want to be in the future and 0:12:27.820 --> 0:12:30.050 how are you going to spend your money? Which is 0:12:30.059 --> 0:12:34.270 a way of expression right? Like there's nothing wrong with 0:12:34.270 --> 0:12:37.100 wanting a nice Lamborghini and landed property, but if that's 0:12:37.100 --> 0:12:38.829 what you want to say it. So I also have 0:12:38.830 --> 0:12:39.120 a 0:12:39.330 --> 0:12:40.600 indication of who you are 0:12:40.610 --> 0:12:41.490 go for the 0:12:41.490 --> 0:12:43.490 same goal or like I know this is who I'm 0:12:43.490 --> 0:12:47.940 going to be dating and it's important because you also 0:12:47.950 --> 0:12:50.830 I think a lot of situations it actually helps if 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.140 you and your partner on the same wavelength when it 0:12:53.140 --> 0:12:55.850 comes to the kind of person. So if I go 0:12:55.850 --> 0:12:57.490 on a holiday and the kind of holiday I want 0:12:57.490 --> 0:12:59.490 to go on is like like 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.290 Like everything five star you 0:13:02.290 --> 0:13:04.010 know I 0:13:04.020 --> 0:13:08.679 prefer to spend very conservative. I like the rough and 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:10.699 tumble nece. I like the fact that I get good 0:13:10.710 --> 0:13:14.160 deals then not not compatible you can't have these adventures 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.230 together and not that that's a bad thing. Some couples 0:13:17.230 --> 0:13:18.980 can make it work. But if you want somebody to 0:13:18.980 --> 0:13:21.090 go with you and like it on the same level 0:13:21.100 --> 0:13:24.000 as it relates to money, it has to be talked about. 0:13:24.010 --> 0:13:26.230 So when it comes to sharing the final like so 0:13:26.230 --> 0:13:27.270 if you settle that 0:13:27.630 --> 0:13:29.790 then when it comes to like showing each other the 0:13:29.790 --> 0:13:31.970 account I think there are also unavoidable if you want 0:13:31.970 --> 0:13:34.929 to get a house together unless you're both very rich 0:13:34.929 --> 0:13:38.200 and then the purchases nothing to your. But if you 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.250 want to buy a house together and it's going to 0:13:40.250 --> 0:13:42.690 cost 200 K. If I don't know my partner can 0:13:42.700 --> 0:13:45.690 pay the down payment and then that's the issue right? 0:13:45.690 --> 0:13:47.040 So it will have to happen, 0:13:47.250 --> 0:13:49.960 me and my wife has a joint account now but 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.040 we only have a joint account because we gotta re 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.820 mortgage on our house loan recently for today advantage of 0:13:54.820 --> 0:13:56.780 better interest rate. So the banks say you only a 0:13:56.780 --> 0:13:58.449 joint account and we just reluctantly go and 0:13:58.450 --> 0:14:00.110 get, but now that we 0:14:00.110 --> 0:14:00.830 get, 0:14:01.230 --> 0:14:03.900 I'm like maybe there's some used to it. We don't 0:14:03.900 --> 0:14:05.630 have to put everything in the app anymore. 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.540 True. So the joint account is also used not just that, 0:14:09.540 --> 0:14:11.980 but for like daily expenses for 0:14:11.990 --> 0:14:14.040 one to now. Actually I want to say can we 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:15.650 just use the joint? So we put our, because we 0:14:15.650 --> 0:14:16.530 share groceries, 0:14:16.540 --> 0:14:17.720 exactly what I mean, 0:14:17.730 --> 0:14:20.730 500 every month. We just, you put 100 0:14:21.005 --> 0:14:22.755 and then we just spend from that extra then we 0:14:22.755 --> 0:14:24.195 buy nice things. I buy a new fan or 0:14:24.195 --> 0:14:26.005 whatever she's like 0:14:28.105 --> 0:14:30.795 and I used to be the one relationships are no, 0:14:30.795 --> 0:14:32.825 I want to share my own life. I need my 0:14:32.825 --> 0:14:33.605 freedom 0:14:33.615 --> 0:14:34.395 right? 0:14:34.405 --> 0:14:35.955 But now I'm like, can you just do it for 0:14:35.955 --> 0:14:36.655 convenience 0:14:36.655 --> 0:14:37.905 because because 0:14:37.905 --> 0:14:39.925 as a young person in the relationship, I never wanted 0:14:39.925 --> 0:14:40.775 to feel like 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.650 I'm giving up my freedom to be with you. But 0:14:43.650 --> 0:14:46.940 actually that is what the relationship is in some extent, 0:14:46.940 --> 0:14:49.260 you know, so financially maybe there has to reflect and 0:14:49.260 --> 0:14:51.900 I think as we get older right, we are gonna 0:14:51.910 --> 0:14:55.150 let it creep into our lives and joint accounts will 0:14:55.150 --> 0:14:56.290 become bigger and bigger. 0:14:56.300 --> 0:14:59.870 So joint account with your partners. One thing do any 0:14:59.870 --> 0:15:03.460 of you guys have joint accounts ever with your parents 0:15:03.710 --> 0:15:08.780 only. My dad, he gave me pocket money. One wage 0:15:08.780 --> 0:15:13.260 on account. I don't put any money. Yeah, I think 0:15:13.260 --> 0:15:13.780 that's the only time 0:15:13.780 --> 0:15:15.740 my mom has a savings thing for me. Like she 0:15:15.740 --> 0:15:20.150 just put money in it whenever she has money. So 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.390 from Malaysia, she opened the bank and I remember traveling 0:15:23.390 --> 0:15:25.000 across the course with her. Then we just go to 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.540 the bank specially just to go to bank. We cross cross, right, 0:15:27.550 --> 0:15:29.250 She opened account for me. Then she was just talking 0:15:29.250 --> 0:15:32.810 money in there. But I'm naturally a very like 0:15:32.825 --> 0:15:35.245 savy person. So I just assume I don't have the 0:15:35.245 --> 0:15:35.575 account 0:15:35.585 --> 0:15:36.335 frugal, 0:15:36.845 --> 0:15:38.265 frugal. I 0:15:38.495 --> 0:15:39.185 also can 0:15:39.195 --> 0:15:41.405 I assume I don't have the account and I try 0:15:41.405 --> 0:15:42.535 to learn everything on my own. 0:15:42.545 --> 0:15:43.585 Okay. But 0:15:43.595 --> 0:15:45.025 maybe there's some inheritance 0:15:45.035 --> 0:15:46.745 before. You know it. You're like, hey, I have this 0:15:46.745 --> 0:15:47.755 chunk of money. I never 0:15:47.765 --> 0:15:49.315 Maybe $5,000 0:15:49.895 --> 0:15:54.035 Or 50. You never know. Okay. So then, you know, 0:15:54.035 --> 0:15:56.755 I think on that note, right with the joint account 0:15:56.755 --> 0:15:58.805 and all that kind of stuff. I think that is 0:15:58.815 --> 0:16:00.825 a very normal progression for a lot of couples who 0:16:00.825 --> 0:16:01.925 are serious with each other. 0:16:02.190 --> 0:16:05.170 Have you? However, I'm not sure you're comfortable with sharing 0:16:05.170 --> 0:16:09.870 this on, on this channel. Have you lied about anything 0:16:09.870 --> 0:16:12.859 to your partner before in regards to spending 0:16:12.870 --> 0:16:13.440 like 0:16:13.530 --> 0:16:16.420 something and you have not 0:16:16.430 --> 0:16:18.870 just say I want, I just bought a new bike 0:16:18.890 --> 0:16:21.800 and I just, here it is, I bought it a 0:16:21.810 --> 0:16:22.780 bike or bicycle 0:16:22.790 --> 0:16:28.540 Bicycle, affordable bicycle but it's not cheap. It's okay on $3,000. 0:16:28.550 --> 0:16:30.030 Okay. 0:16:30.580 --> 0:16:32.920 So I like the fact that we have our own 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.590 accounts and that I can buy one like it's like a, 0:16:35.870 --> 0:16:37.860 it's like some people have a mean joint account then 0:16:37.870 --> 0:16:41.710 offer that they have fund accounts that they control themselves, right? 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.050 But for us it's more like inverse like we have 0:16:44.050 --> 0:16:47.740 a joint account via the app and also this account 0:16:47.740 --> 0:16:51.630 for mortgage servicing. But the main thing is our fun 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.010 fun fund, 0:16:53.020 --> 0:16:54.280 right? Your fund fund. 0:16:54.290 --> 0:16:57.020 So if we have kids probably will change, we'll put 0:16:57.020 --> 0:16:58.030