Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of me. Explain. Today's topic hits
Speaker 1: home a little bit and I'm kind of concerned about
Speaker 1: this one. I hardly ever say that, but the topic
Speaker 1: is about clubbing. Should we be worried if our partner
Speaker 1: is a frequent clubber?
Speaker 1: Now, today I've got a special friend here with me.
Speaker 1: I've known him for quite some time and guess where
Speaker 1: we met at a party in a club. It's Myrne.
Speaker 1: Please welcome my. Hello. Thanks,
Speaker 2: Sonia. Thanks for having me. My name is my, I'm
Speaker 2: a DJ producer based in Singapore. And, um,
Speaker 2: yeah, I go to clubs quite a bit to work
Speaker 2: and to enjoy myself.
Speaker 1: Ok. So, before we delve into the topic, you work
Speaker 1: at the club, but you also enjoy partying, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So how do you sort of differentiate that? Do you,
Speaker 1: when you go there, you
Speaker 1: work mode and then you also go there to party
Speaker 1: with that
Speaker 2: because it's, it's kind of like a workplace for me. Right.
Speaker 2: So I go there really? Just to, it sounds cheesy.
Speaker 2: But I go there to listen to music, to do
Speaker 2: research too
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Most of the time unless, you know, you go
Speaker 2: to like a, a party club or something. But, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think most of it is, you know, I can
Speaker 2: split it
Speaker 2: quite
Speaker 1: well. So when you first started djing, did it make
Speaker 1: dating challenging for you? I
Speaker 2: think. Not really. I think it's more so just finding
Speaker 2: a person that manages those schedules a bit better because
Speaker 2: you're working through, you know, Friday, Saturday the weekend.
Speaker 2: Um, Just so finding someone that can manage those times.
Speaker 2: Um Yeah, that's all you need. I think. So.
Speaker 1: Why do you think clubbing has such a bad rep then? Because,
Speaker 1: you know, from, from our point of view or from
Speaker 1: your point of view, it's quite professional clearly because you're
Speaker 1: also working and it's also like networking, you know, you
Speaker 1: meet a lot of people there. Why do you think
Speaker 1: it has such a bad rep?
Speaker 2: Well, this is my experience, you know, playing in Asia
Speaker 2: and mostly in the US. Um I will go to
Speaker 2: a lot of raves in the US and people there
Speaker 2: like it was very dingy, like you would pay, I
Speaker 2: think like five bucks to enter a drink was super cheap.
Speaker 2: So people were just there to catch, you know, artists
Speaker 2: or catch them
Speaker 2: some really cool performances. Um Whereas here, clubbing is kind
Speaker 2: of like a refined kind of societal triggering. Like you
Speaker 2: kind of go there to either, you know, spend money
Speaker 2: or flex conspicuous consumption, buy some bottles and all
Speaker 1: that, like a whole bathtub of it. I only see
Speaker 1: in Asia.
Speaker 2: Same, same. Um, so I guess that's where the difference lies.
Speaker 1: Ok, so then taking your perception of what clubbing is
Speaker 1: in Asia,
Speaker 1: um, you think that's why it has struck up a
Speaker 1: bad name. Like, or people just have this impression guys
Speaker 1: go there to flex to girls, pick, pick girls up, girls,
Speaker 1: go there to look for rich guys. Is that, is
Speaker 2: that what it is? I think so and I think
Speaker 2: it's just a matter of um you know, time, like
Speaker 2: given enough time, any kind of um scene, no
Speaker 2: industry of progress. And also that I think running a
Speaker 2: club in Singapore is really hard. So the clubs that
Speaker 2: tend to survive are the ones that, you know, encourage
Speaker 2: like the spending kind of mentality. So, I mean, naturally
Speaker 2: follows that these behaviors are also kind of not prioritized
Speaker 2: but you know, um put in the spotlight la
Speaker 1: OK. So from your experience, what do you then enjoy
Speaker 1: about the night life?
Speaker 1: Ok. Like
Speaker 2: this is a super mundane point. But, but this is,
Speaker 2: I think going out to a club is the only
Speaker 2: time I can catch some of my friends because yeah,
Speaker 2: because people work weird hours, long hours. Um I think, yeah,
Speaker 2: like first of all, it's easy to catch them. Um
Speaker 2: you know, when it's, when it's night. And second, I
Speaker 2: think Singapore is also a pretty good spot for electronic
Speaker 2: music in general. Live music. Like lots of DJ S,
Speaker 2: lots of bands come through.
Speaker 2: Um, so you get a lot of really interesting performances. Like,
Speaker 2: that's what, um, I really enjoy. I,
Speaker 1: I completely agree because, um, I've gotten into some arguments before, like,
Speaker 1: with my current partner
Speaker 1: and my previous partners about the fact that I like
Speaker 1: to go out and party and I think it's because
Speaker 1: of this perception that, oh, you know, when you go
Speaker 1: out to party, it's really just like a bad behavior
Speaker 1: or like, you know, all that kind of stuff that
Speaker 1: rack up, you know, bad reputation for the club. But
Speaker 1: to be honest, generally, I will go if I like
Speaker 1: the DJ. Firstly, I need to like the music,
Speaker 1: music. If not, there's no point of me going out
Speaker 1: at all. Like I connect with the music. I want
Speaker 1: to like have fun with my friends and these are
Speaker 1: the things that I enjoy going out for. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to read you a couple of stereotypes and you
Speaker 1: tell me whether you think it's true. Ok. Sure, sure
Speaker 1: of frequent partygoers. And then I feel like we need
Speaker 1: to dispel some of this, some of this points over here. Ok.
Speaker 1: So the first point is they love to party.
Speaker 1: Always looking for a good time indulging in excessive drinking
Speaker 1: or looking for casual sexual encounters and engaging in risky behavior.
Speaker 1: Is that, do you think is valid behavior. I don't
Speaker 1: know what is risky behavior. You guys tell me,
Speaker 2: I think clubbing as a whole is kind of, um,
Speaker 2: you assign what kind of whatever value you want to. It, like,
Speaker 2: clubbing also means different things to different people. Right. Some people, like,
Speaker 2: it could really just mean going to, like
Speaker 2: a disco.
Speaker 1: Right. Oh, that's not my thing though. I can't, I can't. Sure.
Speaker 2: Sure. Yeah, for some people it means that some people,
Speaker 2: it means, you know, going to like a mega club,
Speaker 2: buying some drinks and have a good time. I don't
Speaker 2: think it's necessarily like a reflection of who you are. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 1: think it's so misunderstood because also like when your single
Speaker 1: friends are single, they be like, oh, hey, let's go
Speaker 1: like
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go rack it up or whatever. OK.
Speaker 1: Next point they are superficial, materialistic, very focused on physical appearance, um,
Speaker 1: expensive items and seeking shallow pursuits. These are very strong words, guys.
Speaker 1: Where did you get this survey from? Do you think
Speaker 1: that is necessarily the case?
Speaker 2: Maybe I think some percentage percentage but I mean
Speaker 2: to be frank, I think everyone looks good in like
Speaker 2: the dark light, you know, so
Speaker 1: the dark and beer goggles, everyone looks good like 100
Speaker 1: times better at five
Speaker 2: AM. The lights turn on you like
Speaker 1: even I look at myself, I'm scared at 5 a.m.
Speaker 1: I'm like, whoa what was going on? Ok. The next
Speaker 1: one they lack commitment and stability spending frequent nights at
Speaker 1: a club could imply
Speaker 1: that they're not serious at looking at long term commitments
Speaker 1: or anything serious at all. It could also seem to
Speaker 1: suggest that these individuals need a more spontaneous and independent lifestyle.
Speaker 1: My partner is going to have a lot to say
Speaker 1: about this. Like this is a constant point of contention
Speaker 1: for
Speaker 2: us. Yeah. So like, what do you guys usually like?
Speaker 2: So when you go out, you don't really go out together.
Speaker 2: So we
Speaker 1: do, we do. It's just that I think, um, OK,
Speaker 1: have you ever heard of the phrase? Like people ask you,
Speaker 1: when are you going to grow out of this or
Speaker 1: when are you going to stop partying? Have you heard that? Ok.
Speaker 1: I personally dislike that because I meet a lot of
Speaker 1: people who they never grow out of it. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's something you need to grow out of. You're
Speaker 1: not excessively doing it. If you just enjoy music, you
Speaker 1: enjoy going out.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything to grow out of. No. Like,
Speaker 1: don't hate me for saying that,
Speaker 2: but I, I definitely agree. I think it's not really,
Speaker 2: it's just another thing that people like to do. I
Speaker 2: don't think it innately carries any kind of connotations and
Speaker 2: I think it's fine.
Speaker 2: Like if you really like clubbing, well, it depends what
Speaker 2: you like clubbing for.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah, I think there's so many layers to it. When,
Speaker 1: you know, people throw that term around, I think, immediately
Speaker 1: they think, oh, late nights, bad behavior. When are you
Speaker 1: going to grow out of that? But yeah, it's really
Speaker 1: what you want to make out of it. Ok.
Speaker 1: Last point here, tell me if you agree with it,
Speaker 1: they are irresponsible. Partygoers are depicted as individuals who neglect
Speaker 1: responsibilities where they prioritize having fun over other important aspects
Speaker 1: of their lives. I disagree. Like,
Speaker 2: what, you know, like, what else is there in life
Speaker 2: to do except go to, you
Speaker 1: know, I mean, I guess people who have normal day
Speaker 1: jobs because our hours are a bit different. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I think everyone needs some kind of release
Speaker 2: or like a place just to have fun.
Speaker 2: Um, and it could be perfectly innocent, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But
Speaker 1: even, ok, you know, when it comes to drinking, right,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's more often than not, it's the alcohol that
Speaker 1: makes you do stupid things. You drink too much, you
Speaker 1: do stupid things and then it becomes a question of
Speaker 1: whether you can make a conscious decision to stop at
Speaker 1: a certain point because I think clubbing as a whole
Speaker 1: is not a bad thing. It's the consumption of alcohol actually.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Can you go out, like, for a good
Speaker 1: night without any alcohol? Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2: I've been trying that out, I think after COVID. How
Speaker 2: is that working? Ok. Ok. Now I'm just the kind
Speaker 2: of guy that, you know, will have a craft beer.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, I love the aftertaste on this
Speaker 2: or something. I think prior to COVID, like a few
Speaker 2: years ago I would get,
Speaker 2: you know, really drunk. Like, I would use alcohol as
Speaker 2: a crutch because I think what alcohol is, it just
Speaker 2: increases your agency and lowers your inhibitions. So it really
Speaker 2: depends like, what is there at the surface? Right? I
Speaker 2: guess for a lot of people it's like liquid courage.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like, I don't know how to talk
Speaker 2: to girls. If I get drunk, I'm going to be
Speaker 2: able to pick up anyone.
Speaker 2: Um, sure. But really if you're drinking alcohol, it just
Speaker 2: means you're just having a good time and there's no,
Speaker 2: I think natively negative connotation it comes to
Speaker 1: that, I think. Unfortunately it's just the stuff that we
Speaker 1: see sometimes on social media people, like, you know, being
Speaker 1: a wreck or,
Speaker 1: or, I don't know, getting up to stupid things fighting. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That kind of stuff that gives the whole industry like
Speaker 1: a bad name. But speaking of which, have you ever
Speaker 1: been stereotyped because of your job or because you're in nightlife?
Speaker 2: They definitely assume things based off. Like, oh, so you
Speaker 2: love partying? You love going out and I don't really
Speaker 2: enjoy it as much as people think I do.
Speaker 2: I think, like, when I go out clubbing it's really
Speaker 2: just to see music. Like, I can go sober, I
Speaker 2: can go alone or with my partner. Um So yeah,
Speaker 2: I think everyone is totally different.
Speaker 1: So you mentioned that you can go out with your partner,
Speaker 1: you can
Speaker 1: party with her. How, so how did you guys talk about? This?
Speaker 1: Is she also very similar to you in terms of personality? Yeah,
Speaker 1: super
Speaker 2: similar. And also we met um while she was working
Speaker 2: for a club, like not, not um during the nightlife period,
Speaker 2: but I think like doing marketing or day and we
Speaker 2: both love live music. We both love electronic music. Um,
Speaker 2: so I think it's quite compatible and quite easy. Sometimes
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I want to see this person
Speaker 2: and then she'll be like, oh, I don't want, I
Speaker 2: kind of want to stay at home. I said, ok,
Speaker 2: I'll just go and check it out a little bit
Speaker 2: and come back.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she's ok with you going out to party
Speaker 1: a lot and you're ok with her going out to party.
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah. Ok. So tell me more about
Speaker 1: that because I think this is a point of contention
Speaker 1: for a lot of couples. When you're in a committed relationship,
Speaker 1: it makes it more difficult for you to do your
Speaker 1: own thing, especially partying late at night. Right.
Speaker 2: Um It really depends a lot on trust and communication.
Speaker 2: So I guess just communicate well with your partner and
Speaker 2: um trust like we both earnestly love music. So we'll
Speaker 2: go out just to see music and just have a
Speaker 2: good time and then together, more time together than not.
Speaker 1: And you've never had a fight about anything related to,
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: The, the one. Yeah. No, this was a few years ago, like,
Speaker 2: really early on. Right. I was, I think I was
Speaker 2: touring the US and they were here in Singapore
Speaker 2: and, you know, like how in L A time, like
Speaker 2: you wake up and then in Singapore maybe like midnight.
Speaker 2: So like by the time you have lunch in L A,
Speaker 2: it's around 4 a.m. in Singapore. So I was like
Speaker 2: texting her at lunch. I was like, are you home yet?
Speaker 2: And you get home safe and then just no reply.
Speaker 2: So obviously as a, as a guy, you assume the worst,
Speaker 2: but really they just, you know, fell asleep after getting home,
Speaker 2: you know, but that wasn't even a real fight or
Speaker 2: anything I
Speaker 1: think. But how did you react then? Were
Speaker 2: you? I'm just like, oh, this is kind of immature like,
Speaker 2: why am I worrying about this? So you should put
Speaker 2: yourself back. Yeah, I guess so, you know, you kind
Speaker 2: of notice
Speaker 2: that, you know, they're a grown person like they're an
Speaker 2: adult like they can take care of themselves. Um So yeah,
Speaker 2: not too big of a deal.
Speaker 1: I think that's a good point because for me, I've
Speaker 1: definitely been in a situation like that where I'm overseas
Speaker 1: the time difference is huge. Um, I could be replying
Speaker 1: at a weird time or whatsoever. Unfortunately, it did result
Speaker 1: in a couple of really big fights before because I
Speaker 1: think ok, for my partner and I, I don't know
Speaker 1: whether I want him to watch this episode.
Speaker 1: Um, for us, like I, I would say he's in
Speaker 1: a different phase of life a little bit. So I
Speaker 1: don't know whether in his mind he's like, ok, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of over this whole scene. Like I maybe I
Speaker 1: only come out if I really like the DJ or whatever.
Speaker 1: But for me, I'm more spontaneous, like I could be
Speaker 1: having dinner with my girlfriends. Ok, I mean, if you're
Speaker 1: watching this, now, see if you relate, I could be
Speaker 1: having dinner with my girlfriends or we're chatting a couple
Speaker 1: of bottles of wine. Suddenly a genius goes, guys, you
Speaker 1: want to go out and we're like, yeah, OK, let's
Speaker 1: go to me. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: OK, sure, because I'm super spontaneous and I just go
Speaker 1: with the flow, right? But for him, he's more like
Speaker 1: I'm going to plan my day and like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do 1234 and five and then I'm going to
Speaker 1: sleep by like midnight. So he's that kind even though
Speaker 1: we're both Capricorn, but he's like a very like organized Capricorn.
Speaker 1: I am like the go with the win kind of Capricorn,
Speaker 1: you know. So in that sense, we clash because if
Speaker 1: I tell him like, hey, you know, this, this was
Speaker 1: very spontaneous. We decided at dinner like that we wanted
Speaker 1: to go
Speaker 1: be like, are you sure you didn't already want to go?
Speaker 1: And then you still don't want to tell me? And
Speaker 1: then like you, I'm not saying who's right and who's wrong?
Speaker 1: Because I think we just have both different ways of
Speaker 1: seeing the situation. So in that sense, it kind of
Speaker 1: causes some points of contention between the two of us.
Speaker 1: Um We just treat this whole thing very differently. He's
Speaker 1: not as spontaneous as I am, but to give him credit.
Speaker 1: I think over the years he has tried to be
Speaker 1: more spontaneous. Yeah. Yeah. He's tried to understand
Speaker 1: then like, oh, for example, you know, we go to
Speaker 1: events often or it could be related to work and
Speaker 1: then it escalates, you know, and he's like, ok, I'll
Speaker 1: try to be more ok with that and try to
Speaker 1: let go a little bit. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: can even relate to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I, I think I'm the one that sleeps at
Speaker 2: midnight sometimes when you're working except when I'm working. But
Speaker 2: in Singapore, not too much. Like we don't really play
Speaker 2: too much. But yeah, my girlfriend will want, we have
Speaker 2: the exact, she's a Capricorn as well. So she will
Speaker 2: have dinner
Speaker 2: with her girlfriends and then she'll decide like, ok, we
Speaker 2: need to check out this blah, blah, blah, have to,
Speaker 1: it's a priority,
Speaker 2: you know, my number one priority and I'm like, ok,
Speaker 2: I guess I'm going, you go, sometimes I'll go, uh,
Speaker 2: sometimes if I'm really beat and I really want, I
Speaker 2: had a long day or something, I'll just be like, ok,
Speaker 2: just let me know when you get home, I guess.
Speaker 1: And it's ok when she's like, oh, but it's a
Speaker 1: girls night. Will you be cool with that?
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't really care about that.
Speaker 2: It's like girls guys. I don't feel any kind of
Speaker 2: concern or anything. Um, you're going out, um, you're having
Speaker 2: a good time, like I trust you, we communicate as
Speaker 2: long as you don't, you know, like puke in the
Speaker 2: bed or anything, you know, it's fine. I guess
Speaker 1: that's quite, I mean, yeah, that's the bare minimum.
Speaker 1: I've never done that. I think. You think I have?
Speaker 1: I've never done that. So, yeah, definitely. Trust and communication
Speaker 1: is so important, right? But, um, my question is for
Speaker 1: those of us who are still navigating that, you know,
Speaker 1: for our viewers who are listening in and really trying
Speaker 1: to get some tips from this. How do you even
Speaker 1: start a conversation like that? How do you even talk
Speaker 1: about trust when you go partying clubbing? How do you
Speaker 1: even communicate that without having any sort of,
Speaker 1: or meltdown?
Speaker 2: Sure. I get that. Um, well, first off, I think
Speaker 2: my personal experience was quite different. Like we were both
Speaker 2: like working in nightclubs, we were both in nightclubs. So
Speaker 2: that helped a lot because like, we've seen it for
Speaker 2: what it is and what it isn't and like, what
Speaker 2: you like, whatever you get out of it is just
Speaker 2: what you want. Right? So, I think when you're talking
Speaker 2: about this with someone who's not really like a clubber
Speaker 2: or not big into night life, I guess,
Speaker 2: honestly, it would just be to go out together, like,
Speaker 2: have a nice night together just to see how you
Speaker 2: guys react and like, and even talk about, like, ok,
Speaker 2: I'm going to this club because blah, blah, blah, like,
Speaker 2: my friends are there. I want to see this DJ,
Speaker 2: et cetera. Yeah, I think it really starts from there
Speaker 2: and I guess if there's any kind of pushback, it's also,
Speaker 2: yeah, a sign. I wouldn't, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 2: know what I'd do if my partner said like, oh,
Speaker 2: you can't go clubbing. So, like, I don't think I've
Speaker 2: experienced that. Do you? No.
Speaker 1: Um, no, my partner has never said you can't go. But, uh,
Speaker 1: so what we concluded was that if I were to
Speaker 1: go out, I just have to make sure I set expectations. Like, ok,
Speaker 1: it's going to be a late night,
Speaker 1: for example. And, you know, don't just go off into
Speaker 1: the wind and be like, oh, yeah, maybe another hour
Speaker 1: or maybe two. If it's going to be a late night,
Speaker 1: he just wants me to say it's going to be
Speaker 1: a late night and just stay it there in black
Speaker 1: and white so that he has no expectations of me
Speaker 1: coming back like now or like in the next half
Speaker 1: an hour. So I think that really helps. Um, that
Speaker 1: was one thing that we ironed out.
Speaker 1: The other thing that I also promised to do was
Speaker 1: say like when I get home. So if I am
Speaker 1: going back myself or, you know, back to my own
Speaker 1: apartment and stuff, I'll just have to let him know
Speaker 1: like I'm on the way back now or like I'm
Speaker 1: home and I'm going to sleep so then he's more
Speaker 1: at peace, I guess with. So I think that's fair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great
Speaker 2: point. Actually, I think um if you're going out
Speaker 2: and I guess, you know, let you know when you
Speaker 2: get home and
Speaker 1: if I'm with friends, I mean, he knows all my friends.
Speaker 1: So I'll just tell him like, oh, who I'm with
Speaker 1: then at least if he can't reach me, at least
Speaker 1: he can reach someone if everyone is still sober. I
Speaker 1: don't know, like, but I guess that could, you know,
Speaker 1: that could help if you're navigating a situation like that.
Speaker 1: But
Speaker 1: I've been in situations where, you know, I'm out partying
Speaker 1: or whatever it is like my followers or people who
Speaker 1: recognize me want to take photos and sometimes I look
Speaker 1: dead drunk in those pictures, guys. OK. So I started
Speaker 1: to learn over the years. I was like, I kept, firstly,
Speaker 1: I need to pull it back a little bit when
Speaker 1: I'm out because I never know who's taking pictures, videos, whatever.
Speaker 1: And I don't want them to have this
Speaker 1: perception, although it can be stressful um through some not
Speaker 1: so great experiences here in Singapore. I kind of learned
Speaker 1: how to just really like, wow, control that a bit more.
Speaker 1: Did
Speaker 2: you ever have like someone actually do that? And then
Speaker 2: like a photo went public or? Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think it's more if they just post whatever
Speaker 1: they like, right? Or they are like, oh
Speaker 1: and then when I see it, I'm like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: this person has and it doesn't matter how many followers
Speaker 1: this person has. OK? Like you never know where this
Speaker 1: photo is going to
Speaker 2: go a bad photo. It just,
Speaker 1: yeah, I just look like I'm not, you know,
Speaker 2: been there. OK? What happened? Nothing, I guess. Um Yeah.
Speaker 2: So you go out um especially at
Speaker 2: very hitty electronic music events. Like people who are, I'm
Speaker 2: fans of usually they listen to me as well and
Speaker 2: then I'm really having a good time like dancing and getting,
Speaker 2: you know drunk and then people come up to me
Speaker 2: and try to have like a conversation about music production
Speaker 2: and oh my
Speaker 1: God, why do they want to have such a deep
Speaker 1: conversation at that time? I mean, I'll
Speaker 2: try my best to kind of engage. But, you know,
Speaker 2: I think in the middle I'll lose the plot or
Speaker 2: something and be like, yeah, it was nice to meet you, man.
Speaker 2: I got to go drink some water. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Just worried about
Speaker 1: giving off like an impression. I,
Speaker 2: I, no, I think it's, I think it's fine. I
Speaker 2: feel like we're humans, like we're all human and I
Speaker 2: think it's normal to be, you know, slightly in, like
Speaker 2: a nightclub.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I, I completely agree. I think it's just, uh,
Speaker 1: this country is so small. Everyone kind of knows and
Speaker 1: then they're going to be like, oh, yeah, I saw like, uh,
Speaker 1: so that day and she was like, dead drunk and then, like,
Speaker 1: tell the next person the story changes. I'm telling you
Speaker 1: even that day it was at a friends party, not
Speaker 1: even at a club. It was a friend's birthday party.
Speaker 1: And, um, she, we had a couple of shots, whatever.
Speaker 1: She asked me to help her, say some stuff on
Speaker 1: the mic because naturally work has it, right? Like, and
Speaker 1: she had nobody to help her out. So I was like, ok,
Speaker 1: I'll help her then I don't know what I said.
Speaker 1: I cracked a joke about her or something and then
Speaker 1: some girls in the back started bitching about me and
Speaker 1: my friend, my close friend was standing in front of
Speaker 1: them and they said something like, why is she behaving
Speaker 1: like that? She's married and then my my friend goes,
Speaker 1: she's not married, like, first day. And so why does
Speaker 1: it even matter? She's just helping a friend out, like,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's just small things like that, that
Speaker 1: this wasn't even at a club. I'm telling you it
Speaker 1: was at a friend's party and these are like,
Speaker 1: what minimum, one degree of separation, friend of a friend
Speaker 1: at the most. And they're already talking like that. Can
Speaker 1: you imagine if it's a complete stranger? I
Speaker 2: think people will say stuff all the time.
Speaker 1: Have you heard any funny things about yourself before?
Speaker 2: Not really. I, I try to keep tapped out, I guess,
Speaker 2: you know, just not pay attention to anything but no,
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm
Speaker 2: that kind of level of, he
Speaker 1: seems pretty chill honestly. Like I know quite a few
Speaker 1: DJ s in the local scene. You're one of the
Speaker 1: most like I'm in my zone chilling
Speaker 2: like in the cloud. Yes.
Speaker 1: Yes. I mean, you know, there are other DJ S
Speaker 1: who might seem a little bit more into the lifestyle.
Speaker 1: Like they have like tons of girls surrounding them. I mean,
Speaker 1: do people sometimes think
Speaker 1: of you? Like, oh no,
Speaker 2: like when I'm DJ it's all dudes behind it. Like
Speaker 2: 10 dudes, 10 guys, Jack guys. When I first started out,
Speaker 2: you know, when you were 17, 18, you don't really
Speaker 2: know what to do. And then as like a very
Speaker 2: geeky skinny kid at that age, I'm like, oh shit.
Speaker 2: I'm D jing like all these girls are talking to
Speaker 2: me what's going on? Like, did I grow beard or something? So,
Speaker 2: like that kind of
Speaker 2: thing gets thrust upon you, especially if you get into
Speaker 2: music at an early age, I
Speaker 1: guess. Ok, so I did a DJ before. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to stay home. This is a long
Speaker 1: time ago. Um And I did find myself in moments
Speaker 1: where I would catch some insecurity because he was always
Speaker 1: surrounded by a lot of very attractive girls and, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a bit more like,
Speaker 1: I don't wear like a body con dresses at, you know,
Speaker 1: clubs or whatever. I'm just more like of a, I
Speaker 1: guess I still am wearing like pants every single day
Speaker 1: kind of girl. So sometimes I'm like, wow, these girls
Speaker 1: are so hot. They like super tight dresses, great figure, whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, partying and like surrounding him all the time.
Speaker 1: And I would catch myself thinking like, oh, man, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know whether, you know, this is something that
Speaker 1: I can, I can deal with. Do guys sometimes see
Speaker 1: you as a threat. Oh, no,
Speaker 2: I think I'm harmless. Yeah, until I get really close here.
Speaker 2: But no, I, I think, you know, my girlfriend will
Speaker 2: feel sometimes that way but I think she's also super confident.
Speaker 2: I'm super confident in like the communication, the relationship.
Speaker 2: Sometimes she's always like, oh, I got a lot of girls,
Speaker 2: you go date them. I, like, I, I wasn't thinking
Speaker 2: about that anyway,
Speaker 1: you know? But now that you said it, maybe I,
Speaker 2: maybe I might. But no, I think, yeah, I understand
Speaker 2: where the insecurity comes from, but it's really more boring
Speaker 2: than it looks, I think.
Speaker 1: Ok. Yeah. Ok. I need to understand that. I think
Speaker 1: more people need to understand that. But in general people
Speaker 1: sometimes feel like, oh, hey, it's not necessarily about you
Speaker 1: because I trust you,
Speaker 1: but I don't trust the people around you. It's like driving, right?
Speaker 1: Like I may be the best driver, but the 10
Speaker 1: other people around me on the road might be like
Speaker 1: crappy drivers and hitting into me or whatever. How do
Speaker 1: you then feel about that? Or how would you navigate
Speaker 2: that? I think if we're talking something like, you know, attraction,
Speaker 2: like you worried about people hitting on your, your partner
Speaker 2: in the clubs. I think attraction is like a two
Speaker 2: way street. Like it really depends how you reciprocate and,
Speaker 2: and you know, reject people.
Speaker 2: Um So that's fine if your partner is comfortable with,
Speaker 2: you know, saying like, no, I have a, I have
Speaker 2: a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend. Yeah, that's fine. But
Speaker 2: I think that overproduced doesn't really solve anything. Like
Speaker 1: push people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could push people away or like your partner
Speaker 2: will start thinking like, oh, he's treating me like a baby.
Speaker 2: I'm not a baby. So honestly, like if they were
Speaker 2: going to leave you for some random guy in a club.
Speaker 2: I don't think these guys had a chance anyway, you know.
Speaker 2: So
Speaker 1: yeah, so yeah, this, this brings up a memory as well.
Speaker 1: Um I recall meeting my partner at a club. OK?
Speaker 1: And he was already there and when I walked in,
Speaker 1: I didn't tell him that I was already there. So
Speaker 1: I just showed up. I mean, I told him I
Speaker 1: was coming but like, I didn't tell him that I
Speaker 1: was already there.
Speaker 1: As I came up, I saw like three girls kind
Speaker 1: of flirting with him and like getting, yeah. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: really close.
Speaker 2: So, you know,
Speaker 1: so then I was like, oh wow, interesting because, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes you think the worst but sometimes you think like, oh,
Speaker 1: your man is probably not doing anything at all. He
Speaker 1: wasn't doing anything. He was just kind of standing there. But,
Speaker 1: you know, these three girls were obviously trying to, I guess,
Speaker 1: scout around or whatever.
Speaker 1: And um I went up and I was like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: and he immediately like, oh, hey, this is my girlfriend
Speaker 1: and obviously they immediately like, oh, ok. And then they
Speaker 1: faded out like, so I think it's really also how
Speaker 1: you handle it, right? Um As a, as, as someone
Speaker 1: who works in nightlife, do you often get girls coming
Speaker 1: up to you and trying to get friendly and stuff?
Speaker 1: And how do you deal with that slash shut it
Speaker 1: down or is a little flirtation? Ok. Um, well,
Speaker 2: it really depends, I guess, well, I guess within the
Speaker 2: context of relationship, I guess flirting would be.
Speaker 2: No. Well, but whatever you guys decide, yeah, definitely not acceptable.
Speaker 2: But sometimes people will talk to you in a club
Speaker 2: and like you, I guess you have to be friendly.
Speaker 2: You just don't want to be that stuck up person,
Speaker 2: like standing corner and not talking to anybody. So I think, yeah,
Speaker 2: talking is fine. Um, and it just really,
Speaker 2: I guess if you feel guilty doing it then you
Speaker 2: probably know you're doing something wrong. So that's a good point.
Speaker 2: It's like the bare minimum, I guess. But
Speaker 1: when do you know to say like, oh, I'm seeing
Speaker 1: someone or like, oh, do you ever have to see
Speaker 1: that or you just kind of with your body language
Speaker 1: kind of?
Speaker 2: I was in the club, I'm wearing my monk robes
Speaker 2: and my gigantic, you know, like cross. So I'm just like,
Speaker 2: you know, stay away, stay away, stay away my holy
Speaker 2: tone with me. I
Speaker 1: might see that after like, five tequila shots. But
Speaker 2: no, I guess, yeah, some, sometimes people can be really direct.
Speaker 2: What
Speaker 1: was the most direct,
Speaker 2: like, long time ago? I guess when I was like,
Speaker 2: playing nightclubs in LA, I guess people get like, there
Speaker 2: will be so many people backstage, there will be more
Speaker 2: people backstage than in the club. So it was just
Speaker 2: like a little party and then people on the dance floor,
Speaker 2: but there are more people in the party behind
Speaker 2: and then they were asked like they asked us really
Speaker 2: direct things like, oh shit. Where's your hotel? Is it
Speaker 2: here here? Can we go check it out? I'm like,
Speaker 2: why do you want to check up my hotel? I
Speaker 2: was like a young, young kid, right? So I didn't
Speaker 2: know what was going on.
Speaker 2: Uh, but, yeah, nothing happened. So I guess it helps
Speaker 2: to be quite direct saying, like, oh, I'm seeing someone,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't do this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Ok. So, but it's really up to your own, I guess,
Speaker 1: morals
Speaker 2: really? Yeah. Yeah. If you feel wrong doing it, that's
Speaker 2: on you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, as a person who enjoys going out, what
Speaker 1: are some tips you would say? I mean, you're in a,
Speaker 1: you're in a committed relationship, you know, and stuff
Speaker 1: and now looking back at your previous relationships, what have
Speaker 1: you learned from all of this? Because I'm sure that
Speaker 1: in your previous relationships you might have thought a little
Speaker 1: bit more about such things. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I think sometimes when, you know, you're seeing
Speaker 2: other people and they don't really understand what you do. Um, like,
Speaker 2: I think I was dating this girl who had never
Speaker 2: set foot into a club till, like, 25 or 26.
Speaker 1: How did that
Speaker 2: go? How did the relationship go? I think. Terrible.
Speaker 2: These early days of my career, I was like, playing
Speaker 2: to nobody. I was playing to like, two people who
Speaker 2: came early, you know, and they got a little better
Speaker 2: at the end. But she would just be like, who
Speaker 2: talked to you today or like, who is with you? Like,
Speaker 2: are you alone right now? You have to set some
Speaker 2: kind of, um,
Speaker 2: expectations, I guess before. So, like, right now we're quite
Speaker 2: comfortable with where we are and going to a club
Speaker 2: for both of us doesn't bring us any kind of
Speaker 2: like sexual joy or like
Speaker 2: happiness or anything. It's just like there is a place
Speaker 2: we got to go to like, see friends kind of like,
Speaker 2: you know, have
Speaker 1: fun. So I just want to make it clear, like,
Speaker 1: just because we like staying out and like enjoying music
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it's necessarily going to end in any
Speaker 1: sort of unsavory manner is that people
Speaker 2: go to clubs for different reasons. I guess some people
Speaker 2: go there to sign contracts.
Speaker 2: Some people go there to, you know, flex, some people
Speaker 2: go to dance. Like, I know a lot of dancers
Speaker 2: or like b boys who just go to the club
Speaker 2: to like, get a workout and like sometimes they start
Speaker 2: a circle and it's like, really pop in
Speaker 1: just going for cardio. That's my like, oh
Speaker 2: yeah, I keep my phone on the step counter.
Speaker 1: What is it? I'm so curious. I never keep my
Speaker 1: tracker on, I feel quite
Speaker 1: worked out after this. I
Speaker 2: think an hour will get you maybe like 2000 steps
Speaker 2: or something. That's great popping around. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So to everyone who asks what my workout routine is,
Speaker 1: that's honestly part of it. OK. Uh Before we wrap
Speaker 1: things up any last notes that you want to share
Speaker 1: um to dispel any sort of, I don't know, misconceptions
Speaker 1: about
Speaker 1: nightlife at all that you feel we haven't
Speaker 2: addressed. I think the the nightlife scene in Singapore, especially
Speaker 2: Singapore is very varied and very deep. Like you can
Speaker 2: find lots of little pockets of whatever kind of genres
Speaker 2: you really like, like house techno, like trance dub, UK G,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of scenes everywhere
Speaker 2: of cool pop-ups. It's more than just like going to
Speaker 2: a club and buying bottles. So even if you think
Speaker 2: you really, you've never heard of the concept of going
Speaker 2: to a club to enjoy music, I definitely recommend, you know,
Speaker 2: trying it out at some cooler pop up parties. I
Speaker 1: like you brought that up because uh recently I noticed
Speaker 1: there's been an insurgence of more smaller
Speaker 1: underground type sort of parties. People just don't really know
Speaker 1: about it because they are not maybe like widely publicized
Speaker 1: due to the smaller nature of it, right? So it's
Speaker 1: more like word of mouth or you see it on
Speaker 1: a post or something, a little more ticketed, maybe like
Speaker 1: 150 100 people kind of search which honestly is a
Speaker 1: completely different experience from going to a massive club. Yeah. Yeah. Ok.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
Speaker 1: of men. Explain, we really hope you enjoyed it. And Myrne,
Speaker 1: congratulations again. New music tour. Tell us a bit more
Speaker 1: before we sign off. Thanks
Speaker 2: for listening guys. My name is Myrne. Just put out
Speaker 2: some new music. It's called Carousel. I'm going on tour
Speaker 2: in the US in August and be sure to follow.
Speaker 2: It's Clarity dot co on Instagram and tiktok.
Speaker 1: Also, we're available on Spotify and Apple Podcast. Do follow
Speaker 1: us there and see you next time.