WEBVTT - Are men just doing the bare minimum in love or simply unromantic? 0:00:00.009 --> 0:00:03.038 Hey, it's Sonia. Welcome to another episode of men. Explain 0:00:03.049 --> 0:00:06.699 today we're going straight to it. Are men too logical 0:00:06.710 --> 0:00:09.879 and unromantic or are they simply not putting in enough effort? 0:00:17.260 --> 0:00:19.509 I've got a couple here with me here today. Please 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:21.229 introduce yourself. You guys, hi, 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:23.779 everyone. I'm Fabian. Um This is my wife. We just 0:00:23.790 --> 0:00:26.239 got married and we are expecting a child. I'm 0:00:26.250 --> 0:00:28.229 Deborah in case you forgot my 0:00:28.420 --> 0:00:30.709 name. I thought I'm introducing myself, then you introduce yourself, 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.290 introduce both of us. I mean, you guys, people might 0:00:34.299 --> 0:00:36.180 have already seen you on social media, on tiktok on 0:00:36.189 --> 0:00:39.028 all these places. So how has that sort of changed 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.479 your relationship so far? I mean, you know, you started 0:00:41.490 --> 0:00:44.790 off with being very open about your relationship. Not everyone 0:00:44.799 --> 0:00:45.208 is 0:00:45.304 --> 0:00:47.243 OK with that, but you guys were and it was 0:00:47.254 --> 0:00:47.263 a 0:00:47.273 --> 0:00:50.714 hit funny story is that when we first started tiktok, right? Yeah, 0:00:50.723 --> 0:00:53.373 my videos would not show her face. They 0:00:53.383 --> 0:00:56.094 will show like like they hide, my face will not 0:00:56.104 --> 0:00:59.973 be shown this one. So launching, show my face. I 0:00:59.984 --> 0:01:01.293 break up with you, you know, a 0:01:03.043 --> 0:01:05.353 so her is like if she breaks up with me 0:01:05.363 --> 0:01:07.113 I can still find someone with the same body 0:01:07.822 --> 0:01:08.994 and then you can replace me. And 0:01:09.433 --> 0:01:11.913 obviously it is a long joke, but it worked out 0:01:11.962 --> 0:01:13.174 and then we started to show 0:01:13.347 --> 0:01:15.807 ourselves on social media more and more. Yeah, we did 0:01:15.818 --> 0:01:18.438 not expect to blow up. He was doing the lockdown 0:01:18.447 --> 0:01:21.288 and we had nothing to do. And we just started 0:01:21.297 --> 0:01:24.477 creating like couple comedy and like pranking each other. 0:01:24.667 --> 0:01:26.428 But it started from him. He had like a lot 0:01:26.438 --> 0:01:28.737 of strange idea. He's like each other. I want to 0:01:28.748 --> 0:01:30.758 do that idea, you know, for like my 23 followers 0:01:30.828 --> 0:01:34.377 or let's do those fun, fun, fun, fun. Got nothing 0:01:34.388 --> 0:01:36.688 to do. Don't attack my 23 followers. I was like, 0:01:38.178 --> 0:01:41.297 supporting you. So you guys compliment 0:01:41.391 --> 0:01:43.262 each other somehow. I feel. So 0:01:43.571 --> 0:01:45.952 and the weird part is that we have so little 0:01:45.961 --> 0:01:49.022 in common when we first started dating, like, really tell 0:01:49.031 --> 0:01:52.001 me more about like, I like gaming. I like anime. 0:01:52.022 --> 0:01:55.122 I like, I like, like, like stuff but she is 0:01:55.132 --> 0:01:58.012 the complete opposite. So like movies that I like to watch. 0:01:58.022 --> 0:01:59.361 Lord of the Rings. She does not, 0:01:59.372 --> 0:02:01.291 I don't, I can't follow a lot of the Rings 0:02:01.772 --> 0:02:04.171 too much. Like I really try it and he made 0:02:04.181 --> 0:02:07.702 me watch anime and I want to try for the 0:02:07.711 --> 0:02:09.322 whole first episode. I'm like, why 0:02:09.434 --> 0:02:11.714 does she suddenly have things like what's happening here? 0:02:12.565 --> 0:02:15.095 I couldn't like we had so little in common but 0:02:15.104 --> 0:02:17.204 the beauty of it that when we first started dating, like, 0:02:17.214 --> 0:02:18.945 her concern was like, do you think, like, we have 0:02:18.955 --> 0:02:20.475 very little in common? Is that going to be like 0:02:20.485 --> 0:02:23.864 a factor? I'm like, actually it makes sense because now 0:02:23.875 --> 0:02:26.074 you got the best of both worlds. Yeah. And it's 0:02:26.085 --> 0:02:28.634 always like you always get to do something new. It's 0:02:28.645 --> 0:02:31.625 always a different experience. Her interest. I need to learn my, 0:02:31.633 --> 0:02:33.883 my interest, she learns and it's like something new you 0:02:33.895 --> 0:02:36.615 always introducing to the relationship. It does compliment 0:02:36.625 --> 0:02:37.274 me a lot. Like, 0:02:37.710 --> 0:02:42.820 actually I'm very logical talking about whether men are more 0:02:42.830 --> 0:02:45.720 logical today, more pessimistic. He's like a dreamer. You 0:02:49.399 --> 0:02:57.669 know why we do this? And she's like pulling me. No, 0:02:57.679 --> 0:02:58.459 be real. 0:02:58.470 --> 0:03:01.639 Yeah, that, that's not gonna happen. OK. OK. So since 0:03:01.649 --> 0:03:04.949 you're talking about your early courtship days, tell me, how 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:05.289 did he 0:03:05.524 --> 0:03:09.253 commend you to convince you that, hey, you know, this 0:03:09.264 --> 0:03:11.423 could be something I want to work at since you 0:03:11.434 --> 0:03:14.093 had not so much in common in the beginning, I 0:03:14.104 --> 0:03:17.464 think for me, I'm a very guarded person. Yeah. So like, um, 0:03:17.473 --> 0:03:22.274 I don't know, is it trauma or another for another day? 0:03:22.304 --> 0:03:24.214 But I was like a really guarded person. So I'm 0:03:24.223 --> 0:03:26.533 someone who I realized like, don't lay my cards on 0:03:26.544 --> 0:03:29.502 the table, right? I'm still, I'm clear like what the 0:03:29.514 --> 0:03:31.944 other person want. So I feel like the best thing 0:03:31.953 --> 0:03:33.283 he did in the beginning of our course, 0:03:33.567 --> 0:03:35.858 he's just such a, you know, they say like golden 0:03:35.867 --> 0:03:39.577 retriever energy. Yeah, like he's just so like, oh like 0:03:39.587 --> 0:03:43.018 he's so straightforward, he's so confident in like, in his feelings. 0:03:43.027 --> 0:03:44.688 So he's always just like, yeah, you know, I like you. 0:03:44.697 --> 0:03:46.147 I want to date you. Yeah, this is what I do. 0:03:46.158 --> 0:03:46.408 Not like 0:03:48.128 --> 0:03:49.498 I was like straight forward. 0:03:50.667 --> 0:03:53.128 So it's like for me, it made me feel very 0:03:53.138 --> 0:03:55.858 safe to pursue the relationship, right? So he gave you 0:03:55.867 --> 0:03:59.447 the assurance first. Then you like, OK, maybe I go right. 0:03:59.707 --> 0:04:01.518 That's right. That's right. So he he told me 0:04:01.611 --> 0:04:04.511 loves me first. So after I was like, let me 0:04:04.522 --> 0:04:08.401 contemplate this new information and then yeah, I know. So 0:04:08.492 --> 0:04:11.542 that's very much our dynamic in the beginning. That's cute guys. 0:04:11.582 --> 0:04:14.171 That's very cut and we met on coffee me and 0:04:14.182 --> 0:04:16.421 he's like, oh I deleted the app and everything. So 0:04:16.511 --> 0:04:19.011 it's very like there's no game. You're like, ok, let 0:04:19.022 --> 0:04:22.682 me think about that. My premium account, she 0:04:22.690 --> 0:04:25.872 was, she was my last date, but I was her 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:28.532 first date. So that was the beginning of her dating phase. 0:04:28.552 --> 0:04:29.562 That was the end of my dating. 0:04:30.036 --> 0:04:33.135 You just, and I just went in there and like 0:04:33.145 --> 0:04:35.165 I'm ending the dating now 0:04:35.635 --> 0:04:37.755 is over after I met her. I was like, oh man, 0:04:37.765 --> 0:04:40.075 I'm going to marry this girl. Yeah, and I I'm 0:04:40.105 --> 0:04:42.065 going to marry this girl, but she was like, I 0:04:42.075 --> 0:04:44.805 still want to like date. I mean, it's fair enough Right, 0:04:44.815 --> 0:04:47.835 because she just started dating. I can't hold her down. 0:04:47.846 --> 0:04:51.604 So like I did, I did in the sense that 0:04:51.615 --> 0:04:53.165 I said I told 0:04:54.675 --> 0:04:57.605 so, then my next question is, what are your perceptions 0:04:57.829 --> 0:05:01.179 of romance? For example, because I think in a, in 0:05:01.190 --> 0:05:03.649 a relationship, you know, in a couple, right. It's kind 0:05:03.660 --> 0:05:05.510 of hard to always be on the same page. Like, 0:05:05.519 --> 0:05:07.899 what I might think is romantic is not what my 0:05:07.910 --> 0:05:10.029 partner thinks is romantic. And if we don't get on 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:13.100 the same page of each other's love languages for lack 0:05:13.109 --> 0:05:15.488 of a better word, then we may not feel like 0:05:15.500 --> 0:05:18.350 we are giving each other the romance or the affection. 0:05:18.359 --> 0:05:21.220 So maybe we start with you. Tell us what is 0:05:21.230 --> 0:05:23.869 your idea of romance? So I've always known that I'm 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:25.519 a very like 0:05:25.924 --> 0:05:29.944 away from cliche and big romantic gestures, like 99 roses. 0:05:29.954 --> 0:05:32.313 Like those doesn't hit me like I feel very like, 0:05:32.324 --> 0:05:35.873 you know, but yeah, I'm super into like daily romance. 0:05:35.884 --> 0:05:38.772 I remember one of my favorite quotes about love was 0:05:39.153 --> 0:05:41.604 I want a Tuesday kind of love. Is that from 0:05:41.613 --> 0:05:43.514 a song? I, I don't know where I think I 0:05:43.523 --> 0:05:44.783 was in my tumblr face or 0:05:44.803 --> 0:05:45.044 I don't know. 0:05:47.653 --> 0:05:49.694 No, I don't think so. I 0:05:49.704 --> 0:05:51.712 mean, it 0:05:51.723 --> 0:05:53.683 sounds so cliche. No, but it's like 0:05:53.787 --> 0:05:55.476 I remember even on my dating app, they were like, 0:05:55.488 --> 0:05:58.197 what's your idea of a perfect Sunday or whatever? And 0:05:58.208 --> 0:06:00.208 I was like, oh, we're waking up we're making pancakes 0:06:00.217 --> 0:06:01.618 and then we go on, you know, like the kind 0:06:01.627 --> 0:06:05.268 of daily, daily thing. So that is my idea of romance. 0:06:05.278 --> 0:06:07.527 I find that like, super romantic, you know, daily stuff. 0:06:07.537 --> 0:06:10.696 Not like, I don't know what to do with flowers, 0:06:10.708 --> 0:06:12.458 like they die. And then I'm like, what do I 0:06:12.467 --> 0:06:14.027 do with that now? You know. So I don't, I 0:06:14.037 --> 0:06:16.837 don't like this kind of things and I think, I 0:06:16.847 --> 0:06:20.798 think coincidentally he is someone of a very, like, everyday 0:06:20.868 --> 0:06:21.738 romance kind of. 0:06:22.272 --> 0:06:24.601 Oh, ok. So both of you have the same idea 0:06:24.611 --> 0:06:27.272 of what romance is. Yes. But I think there was 0:06:27.282 --> 0:06:28.691 also much learning to be done 0:06:28.951 --> 0:06:31.451 because the learning was big. Yeah. 0:06:35.582 --> 0:06:37.971 Ok. You can tell us what is your idea when 0:06:37.981 --> 0:06:40.131 we first started dating? There was a lot that I 0:06:40.141 --> 0:06:42.191 needed to learn and change. There was a period so 0:06:42.201 --> 0:06:43.962 that she actually broke up with me for one month 0:06:44.122 --> 0:06:46.152 and it was actually during that period that I realized actually, 0:06:46.161 --> 0:06:48.141 you know what I've been a, I've been a dick 0:06:48.152 --> 0:06:49.821 and I needed to change for, for her. 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:51.899 And yeah, I did, I did a lot of like, 0:06:51.910 --> 0:06:55.459 learning and like, you know, self development. Yeah. So I 0:06:55.470 --> 0:06:58.290 realized that because I love her, I need to accept 0:06:58.299 --> 0:07:00.100 things that are not right with me. I need to 0:07:00.109 --> 0:07:02.769 change this aspect of myself. I need to change my laziness, 0:07:02.779 --> 0:07:04.470 my attitude towards the way I treat her. 0:07:04.709 --> 0:07:07.779 And like, even even like daily things like making coffee 0:07:07.790 --> 0:07:09.799 for her last time I'll be like making noise. I like, 0:07:09.809 --> 0:07:12.239 can you just go do it yourself, like, you know? Yeah. 0:07:12.609 --> 0:07:15.940 You realize that that is how she likes to be appreciated. 0:07:16.690 --> 0:07:18.989 Correct? Yeah. So like things like bring her out for 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:26.410 walks or like, like a dog but she's very, like 0:07:26.420 --> 0:07:28.100 after a while I start to learn and that she 0:07:28.109 --> 0:07:30.260 is actually very easy to please in, in terms of 0:07:30.269 --> 0:07:30.500 like 0:07:30.571 --> 0:07:32.701 she likes like she just like 0:07:32.881 --> 0:07:35.022 maybe I want to give you a shovel right now 0:07:37.562 --> 0:07:38.571 today the day I 0:07:38.701 --> 0:07:40.731 die. No, no. But she loves this as a compliment 0:07:40.742 --> 0:07:43.582 for her. Like she she loves like just making her 0:07:43.592 --> 0:07:46.372 cup noodles and like making her coffee simple things and 0:07:46.381 --> 0:07:49.851 she finds that like that's her romantic like gesture that 0:07:49.861 --> 0:07:50.432 I can do for 0:07:50.441 --> 0:07:54.571 her. I think there's something romantic about people knowing the 0:07:54.582 --> 0:07:56.201 small things that you like 0:07:56.433 --> 0:07:58.324 pay attention to that and then giving that to you, 0:07:58.334 --> 0:08:00.634 you know, like everyone can buy flowers, you know, but 0:08:00.644 --> 0:08:02.993 it's like, what are the very specific things he knows? 0:08:03.003 --> 0:08:05.623 I like this specific brand of whatever the way I 0:08:05.634 --> 0:08:07.734 like my coffee. You know, these are like the romantic 0:08:07.743 --> 0:08:08.484 stuff that I feel. 0:08:08.493 --> 0:08:11.544 Yeah, I'm actually a very hopeless and romantic kind of person. Ok. 0:08:11.553 --> 0:08:12.584 So let's get to this 0:08:12.593 --> 0:08:15.074 in romantic from hopeless, romantic, 0:08:17.753 --> 0:08:22.134 hopeless. I was very bad at like I was, 0:08:22.996 --> 0:08:23.156 he 0:08:23.165 --> 0:08:25.436 took a course and our relationship 0:08:25.656 --> 0:08:28.716 along the way. I kind of realized that, that um ok, 0:08:28.726 --> 0:08:31.115 so like, I don't want to talk about my past relationships, 0:08:31.126 --> 0:08:33.705 but it was bad because I realized after meeting her 0:08:33.716 --> 0:08:36.426 that wait, I actually do need to change a lot. 0:08:36.434 --> 0:08:38.635 I need to grow up, you know. So like when 0:08:38.645 --> 0:08:40.466 it came to her, I wanted to be serious. So 0:08:40.476 --> 0:08:43.226 things like she had this thing where she said that, ok, 0:08:43.236 --> 0:08:45.666 when we did every single week, we have to go 0:08:45.676 --> 0:08:47.856 for at least a date night. Ok. So we don't 0:08:47.866 --> 0:08:48.085 let 0:08:48.158 --> 0:08:50.458 die off and we still carry that tradition three years 0:08:50.468 --> 0:08:52.958 later until today. So at the time, like why must 0:08:52.968 --> 0:08:54.447 we do that? Like why, why you need to preplan 0:08:54.458 --> 0:08:56.127 just go out, go out, you know, that kind of thing. 0:08:56.328 --> 0:08:58.357 So like I realized that she is someone who likes 0:08:58.367 --> 0:09:00.877 to preplan stuff and then I have to lock it 0:09:00.888 --> 0:09:04.088 down and then she likes that like, like that authority. 0:09:04.098 --> 0:09:05.817 She doesn't like that last minute. Let just go. She 0:09:05.828 --> 0:09:06.828 finds that unromantic 0:09:07.797 --> 0:09:13.297 total opposite. Like you want to do this. OK? You 0:09:13.367 --> 0:09:13.767 want to do this? Yeah. 0:09:14.419 --> 0:09:16.359 OK. So do you date people who are exactly like 0:09:16.369 --> 0:09:18.968 you but somehow or totally opposite. I mean, I am 0:09:18.979 --> 0:09:22.119 seeing somebody now. Um I would say he is very 0:09:22.130 --> 0:09:25.359 much like you like he's very like he would be 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:33.070 12345 and today I'm doing 5214 somehow just opposite. People 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:34.530 just meet each other and each other. I don't know 0:09:34.539 --> 0:09:34.569 what 0:09:36.359 --> 0:09:38.109 it is. Fun. Right. It's funny 0:09:38.119 --> 0:09:39.809 in a way sometimes he gets irritated 0:09:39.981 --> 0:09:43.062 because he's like, but, but I will give him credit 0:09:43.072 --> 0:09:45.331 because he also realized that, hey, we have to learn 0:09:45.341 --> 0:09:49.291 about each other's patterns and, like, how we work and 0:09:49.302 --> 0:09:52.562 certain things cannot entirely be changed. You know? And you 0:09:52.572 --> 0:09:55.081 don't want to completely change your. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 0:09:55.182 --> 0:09:57.131 In a way. Ok. So we get to you now, 0:09:57.142 --> 0:10:03.012 what is your idea of romance? Does she meet the requirements? 0:10:03.021 --> 0:10:05.671 I'm actually a very easy guy, please. Like, um, 0:10:06.130 --> 0:10:09.919 like, I love it when she takes interest in my interest. 0:10:09.929 --> 0:10:13.539 So for example, like, like anime Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Yeah. No, 0:10:13.549 --> 0:10:15.090 but I really, really love it. Like, there are a 0:10:15.099 --> 0:10:17.250 few times where she's like, can I play video games? 0:10:17.260 --> 0:10:19.179 I'm like, wow, where did that come from? So, like, 0:10:19.219 --> 0:10:21.239 I will be out like my other Playstation controller and 0:10:21.250 --> 0:10:23.380 we will be playing games but then I get frustrated because, 0:10:24.419 --> 0:10:26.900 oh my God. Yeah. But, but I really love it. 0:10:26.909 --> 0:10:29.598 I really love it and then like, spontaneous things where she, like, 0:10:29.609 --> 0:10:30.119 say 0:10:30.210 --> 0:10:32.500 let's watch Game of Thrones all over again. I'm like, 0:10:32.609 --> 0:10:34.780 oh my God, I'm down, oh my God, you're speaking 0:10:34.789 --> 0:10:37.939 my language. There's two love languages that we have to, 0:10:37.950 --> 0:10:41.429 that we, like, portray the strongest, right? Like for hours 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.819 it's time and touch both. We have the same, but 0:10:43.830 --> 0:10:45.750 I read it somewhere that we actually, we have the 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:48.780 hidden love language as well on the third and mine 0:10:48.789 --> 0:10:52.478 is actually words of affirmation. I realized it likewise. Yeah. Yeah. 0:10:52.489 --> 0:10:54.189 Hers is act of service. 0:10:54.289 --> 0:10:57.390 Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So I love it. Like when she 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.530 like says things like, like just to boost my confidence 0:11:00.539 --> 0:11:03.459 and my moral up, you know, it's like, because I mean, 0:11:03.719 --> 0:11:06.500 sometimes it like life gets you down but she's always 0:11:06.510 --> 0:11:08.869 there to like pick me back up. Yeah. So I 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.979 love these moments from her. It's like those simple, simple 0:11:11.989 --> 0:11:15.250 things that just brings me back up. So, yeah, 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:16.840 I feel like this whole podcast is a bit of 0:11:16.849 --> 0:11:18.280 a bonding session for two of you 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:19.780 therapy session. 0:11:20.340 --> 0:11:24.380 Yeah. Turns out soon. Third party. I just, I just 0:11:25.510 --> 0:11:31.539 be $200 actually 252 150 girls. Ok. Anyway, so on 0:11:31.549 --> 0:11:32.859 that note, you know, since we are on a good 0:11:32.869 --> 0:11:36.280 role there, I have some um some research that has 0:11:36.289 --> 0:11:39.369 been done and theories that you may or may not 0:11:39.380 --> 0:11:42.400 agree with. So let's read some of it out and discuss. Ok. 0:11:42.609 --> 0:11:44.710 Now the first one is men tend to fall in 0:11:44.719 --> 0:11:47.119 love faster whereas women are more guarded. 0:11:47.530 --> 0:11:48.348 True or 0:11:48.359 --> 0:11:52.020 no, I will speak for myself. True, true, true, true. 0:11:52.270 --> 0:11:52.460 And 0:11:52.469 --> 0:11:55.530 for you, you think, yeah, for 0:11:55.549 --> 0:11:58.159 sure. I had to chase her hard, hard, 0:11:58.989 --> 0:12:01.090 she needed convincing that she doesn't need to be on 0:12:01.099 --> 0:12:01.239 the app 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:03.579 anymore, like hundreds every day. Like 0:12:03.590 --> 0:12:07.969 an interview. What is your biggest strength? OK. The next 0:12:07.979 --> 0:12:11.530 one is men say I love you first. Whereas women 0:12:11.539 --> 0:12:13.270 say I love you more often. 0:12:13.900 --> 0:12:16.030 And you mentioned this earlier that he said it first 0:12:16.349 --> 0:12:16.630 hand. 0:12:17.030 --> 0:12:18.809 I wonder if I say it more often. 0:12:20.380 --> 0:12:20.710 Um 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.829 Somehow, same, same I feel, I feel the same way. 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.119 I mean, I don't think who said I love you first. 0:12:27.260 --> 0:12:30.789 I actually, I'm not sure. Uh, being, being very Capricorn, 0:12:30.799 --> 0:12:31.729 we might have timed it. 0:12:32.739 --> 0:12:34.750 But I mean, like today you say, ok. No, no, 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:39.770 but I accidentally introduced him as my boyfriend first, accidentally, accidentally. 0:12:39.780 --> 0:12:42.270 So it wasn't a trap or anything or was it? 0:12:42.419 --> 0:12:45.209 But he was like, oh, I just realized that you 0:12:45.219 --> 0:12:47.979 addressed me as your boyfriend. I was like, oh my God, 0:12:47.989 --> 0:12:50.049 I didn't realize that you mean you are not exclusive. 0:12:50.119 --> 0:12:53.559 I was like, wait, this is new information. So, yeah. II, 0:12:53.570 --> 0:12:55.650 I honestly can't remember. It might have been around the 0:12:55.659 --> 0:12:56.559 same time. 0:12:56.909 --> 0:12:58.228 I think like that was my moment. 0:12:58.312 --> 0:13:00.922 Most nerve wracking moment to tell her that I love her. 0:13:00.953 --> 0:13:01.562 Did 0:13:01.572 --> 0:13:03.903 you plan when exactly? Or you felt that it was 0:13:03.913 --> 0:13:05.263 all the time? This was 0:13:05.273 --> 0:13:06.732 after she broke up with me. And then I said, 0:13:06.742 --> 0:13:08.283 do you want to go for supper one month later? 0:13:08.293 --> 0:13:09.412 And then I went on for supper. I love you, 0:13:09.422 --> 0:13:14.153 by the way, in case you don't know if, if 0:13:14.163 --> 0:13:15.532 I in case I don't ever get to say this 0:13:15.543 --> 0:13:17.172 in case you don't want to date me. I actually 0:13:17.182 --> 0:13:20.093 love you. Yeah, it's very cliche. I was like, 0:13:20.102 --> 0:13:22.463 but I was gonna respond. He is like, OK, just 0:13:22.473 --> 0:13:23.942 hold that thought because I need to pee 0:13:24.416 --> 0:13:26.716 and then he drove off and then he was like 0:13:26.726 --> 0:13:29.046 see you tomorrow or something like that. I was like, 0:13:29.056 --> 0:13:32.015 I was like you just flat. I think I only 0:13:32.026 --> 0:13:35.665 said it maybe a month plus later. Yeah, girl, you know, 0:13:37.776 --> 0:13:39.645 and within that month, I still like said I love 0:13:39.655 --> 0:13:41.285 you on this but she would not reply that kind 0:13:41.296 --> 0:13:43.455 of stuff. So I didn't give up. And then like 0:13:43.466 --> 0:13:45.145 I remember there was one time when I was sleeping 0:13:45.155 --> 0:13:46.866 I think and then she just said I love you. 0:13:46.875 --> 0:13:49.515 I like what, what did you say? I was like, wait. 0:13:50.469 --> 0:13:57.789 Yeah, I thought about it. So it took her one 0:13:57.799 --> 0:13:58.109 month to 0:13:58.119 --> 0:14:01.650 say that honestly could just sometimes be a personality difference 0:14:01.890 --> 0:14:04.689 like the way that we process things for sure. Ok. 0:14:04.700 --> 0:14:05.570 The next one is 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.358 how men fall in love have more to do with 0:14:08.369 --> 0:14:14.130 physical appearance. Whereas women access more factors like personality and 0:14:14.140 --> 0:14:15.659 similarities and so on. 0:14:15.780 --> 0:14:17.359 Ok, I know this is going to sound like a 0:14:17.369 --> 0:14:19.330 very big move, but I would say that physical appearance 0:14:19.340 --> 0:14:21.510 does that matter. It does matter for me. 0:14:21.830 --> 0:14:24.789 Uh like everyone has a type, right? Everyone has a 0:14:24.799 --> 0:14:27.039 physical type like I know my physical type and I 0:14:27.049 --> 0:14:29.710 look for that in a woman, but there's also another 0:14:29.719 --> 0:14:33.690 thing called emotional type, like character wise. So just because 0:14:33.700 --> 0:14:35.520 I meet the physical type does not mean that they 0:14:35.530 --> 0:14:39.849 are my type emotionally. Yeah. And she aligned perfectly. So 0:14:39.859 --> 0:14:43.099 like when I look for someone like, yeah, appearance wise 0:14:43.109 --> 0:14:44.869 it matters for me. Yeah. 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.859 What about you? What do you think? Like for me, 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:51.369 attraction in the beginning is definitely super important and that's 0:14:51.380 --> 0:14:54.059 very much physical, right? You see a person like, oh 0:14:54.070 --> 0:14:55.979 does he give you butterflies or not? You know, you know, 0:14:55.989 --> 0:14:58.479 actually I feel like sometimes people will say, oh, it's 0:14:58.489 --> 0:15:01.809 about inner beauty don't be so superficial but I think 0:15:01.820 --> 0:15:04.289 and this is not to sound like an ass or anything, 0:15:04.299 --> 0:15:07.210 but you do still need to be attracted to each other, right? 0:15:07.219 --> 0:15:10.960 Like physical appearance is subjective, but all that matters is 0:15:10.969 --> 0:15:11.989 that you guys are into it, 0:15:12.090 --> 0:15:13.909 right? Yeah. And I'm not saying that it has to 0:15:13.919 --> 0:15:16.849 be like a like perfect and someone who is super 0:15:16.859 --> 0:15:19.109 super is my type, you know, immediately, but they have 0:15:19.119 --> 0:15:21.330 to be some at least give you some form of 0:15:21.340 --> 0:15:23.750 attraction makes you feel you feel like, OK, you know, 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.780 let's explore it. So I think the initial attraction is 0:15:26.789 --> 0:15:29.859 always physical. Yeah. And then after that, you let the 0:15:29.869 --> 0:15:32.979 other aspects kind of tune you out like do I 0:15:32.989 --> 0:15:35.659 like this or not? Because there's no way that there's 0:15:35.669 --> 0:15:37.159 no way if you are attracted to the person 0:15:37.739 --> 0:15:41.440 that you can still forgive, like, you know, things are 0:15:41.450 --> 0:15:44.109 not your type in terms of the personality type, right? 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.130 I do feel at the end of the day, like 0:15:46.140 --> 0:15:47.969 I still want to get to know you as a person, 0:15:47.979 --> 0:15:52.280 your character, whether we click emotionally, whether we solve problems well, together, 0:15:52.289 --> 0:15:55.039 you know, that, that kind of important stuff because I'm 0:15:55.049 --> 0:16:01.020 a serial relationship per person. Like, ok, guys, I'm gonna 0:16:01.030 --> 0:16:03.450 be single or boom to your relationship. 0:16:05.869 --> 0:16:08.229 Serial monogamy. I don't know why. I don't know why 0:16:08.239 --> 0:16:10.669 I always set out to be single and that never happens. Yeah, 0:16:10.679 --> 0:16:12.840 I think because people like us, we just like for me, 0:16:12.849 --> 0:16:15.109 I'm not good at being single. Yeah. No, I'm not 0:16:15.119 --> 0:16:18.280 afraid to admit. I do feel like sometimes I need 0:16:18.289 --> 0:16:21.039 someone to experience life with. Ok. The next one is 0:16:21.049 --> 0:16:25.900 men tend to express affection through more physical means, for example, 0:16:25.909 --> 0:16:27.830 initiating intimacy or sex. Is that 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.590 true? Oh, yeah. Um 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:33.119 I definitely give, I remember the first kiss I ever 0:16:33.130 --> 0:16:35.010 gave her like it was just random. She was talking, 0:16:35.020 --> 0:16:36.229 I was just looking at her and just waiting for 0:16:36.239 --> 0:16:37.570 the kiss. Oh OK. 0:16:37.580 --> 0:16:40.229 So I remember this is so funny because it was 0:16:40.239 --> 0:16:45.130 our second date. OK? And he was like, oh, my 0:16:45.140 --> 0:16:48.479 brother is proposing to his girlfriend and then after that 0:16:48.489 --> 0:16:52.429 we're having a small party, you know, at my place. 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.489 So you want to come for the after party. And 0:16:54.500 --> 0:16:56.750 I said, where your parents will be at? 0:16:57.020 --> 0:16:58.429 And he was like, and he was like, no, no, no, 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.330 don't worry, you will not see my parents at all. 0:17:00.340 --> 0:17:02.299 They are upstairs, we will be downstairs. You know, you 0:17:02.309 --> 0:17:03.840 will not get to even interact with them. And I 0:17:03.849 --> 0:17:05.829 went there and then not even 10 minutes in the house, 0:17:05.839 --> 0:17:07.849 like my dad would like to speak to 0:17:07.859 --> 0:17:10.780 you. No. OK. Wait. And then we 0:17:10.790 --> 0:17:14.239 spend 1.5 hour just talking to the parents. I was like, 0:17:14.250 --> 0:17:17.020 I did not expect to meet this girl but I 0:17:17.339 --> 0:17:18.229 had some wine. 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:20.420 OK. Yeah. So at one point I felt like I 0:17:20.430 --> 0:17:22.969 was floating out of my body watching myself answer questions. 0:17:22.979 --> 0:17:24.430 I was like, how are you doing this? 0:17:25.410 --> 0:17:28.290 But she nailed it, nailed it. Oh Yeah. 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:30.319 And then he's like, OK, I need to kiss this 0:17:30.329 --> 0:17:31.689 girl to lock this down. 0:17:31.719 --> 0:17:32.239 Obviously not 0:17:35.390 --> 0:17:37.239