1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:02,759 Speaker 1: Sometimes I do get people telling me that maybe you 2 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,650 Speaker 1: should wear a dress more feminine because you really don't 3 00:00:05,659 --> 00:00:07,659 Speaker 1: have hair already if you dress up like that. Right. 4 00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:09,010 Speaker 1: Then more boys would like you. 5 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:10,829 Speaker 2: I have a friend. Tell me, isn't it a universal 6 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 2: experience for girls to go to a club at a 7 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 2: bar and then get free drinks? So I just look 8 00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:14,930 Speaker 2: at her and I was 9 00:00:14,939 --> 00:00:15,470 Speaker 1: like, 10 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:26,009 Speaker 1: hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Hot Pot 11 00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:29,049 Speaker 1: where we hop into different transitions in life. I'm Nick. 12 00:00:29,059 --> 00:00:29,819 Speaker 1: I'm k, I'm 13 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:33,069 Speaker 2: Joey and today we have two very familiar faces. I'm 14 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,909 Speaker 2: sure you've seen before on tiktok. We have Leah and Adele. 15 00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:42,180 Speaker 2: Please introduce yourself guys. Hi, everyone. I am Leah. I 16 00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:45,119 Speaker 2: do content on Tik Tok social media and um, I'm 17 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,900 Speaker 2: friends with all of them actually. 18 00:00:46,909 --> 00:00:51,439 Speaker 1: So, hi, everyone. I'm Adele. I also do a bit 19 00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: of content creation. Uh I'm only friends with you. 20 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:06,069 Speaker 1: I'll be friends with me as of 20 minutes ago. 21 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:11,500 Speaker 1: We are friends. I'm learning to make friends. So today 22 00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:12,699 Speaker 1: we're talking about something that 23 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:17,059 Speaker 1: both touched on before publicly and it's about Singapore's beauty standards. 24 00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:20,239 Speaker 1: And also whether pretty privilege exists or not. And the 25 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,250 Speaker 1: reason why we are talking about that also is because 26 00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:24,529 Speaker 1: there you made a video a while back about being 27 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:28,500 Speaker 1: unconventionally attractive. Yes, and what your experiences with that. So 28 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:29,250 Speaker 1: I think that's quite a 29 00:01:29,699 --> 00:01:33,230 Speaker 1: interesting sort of term and viewpoint and I think we're 30 00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:35,940 Speaker 1: gonna dig a bit deeper into that today. Aside from 31 00:01:35,949 --> 00:01:39,250 Speaker 1: that Adele has also shared about her alopecia journey and 32 00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,639 Speaker 1: her struggle with hair loss. 33 00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:43,179 Speaker 2: So what made the both of you decide to share 34 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,289 Speaker 2: your journey and your 35 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 2: a lot of people to relate? I always have conversations 36 00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:50,830 Speaker 2: about this topic with my friends. I feel like I 37 00:01:50,839 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: can relate to it also, like personally from my own 38 00:01:53,769 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 2: experience looking a certain way in Singapore. I'm also like Eurasian, right? 39 00:01:58,010 --> 00:01:58,660 Speaker 2: One video of 40 00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:01,879 Speaker 1: mine went viral and in that video itself, people started 41 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:04,559 Speaker 1: asking me questions about my hair and I decided to 42 00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: respond to it and 43 00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:09,179 Speaker 1: I didn't expect people to be so curious. In fact, 44 00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: I was quite taken aback when people encouraged me on. 45 00:02:12,008 --> 00:02:14,570 Speaker 1: So I figured, oh, you know what? Actually Tik Tok 46 00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:17,350 Speaker 1: is quite a good platform to talk about my condition 47 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,490 Speaker 1: and to educate others. 48 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,139 Speaker 2: I remember seeing our first video and thinking like I 49 00:02:22,149 --> 00:02:25,829 Speaker 2: am so happy that social media exists for this very 50 00:02:25,839 --> 00:02:26,410 Speaker 2: reason 51 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:30,119 Speaker 2: because even for someone that does not have alopecia, I 52 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:34,889 Speaker 2: relate to you in sharing something so close and difficult 53 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,839 Speaker 2: like that courage is inspiring and although I can't directly 54 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:41,660 Speaker 2: apply it to my life, I feel that it's still 55 00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:45,110 Speaker 2: about body positivity. It's still about celebrating like 56 00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:48,529 Speaker 2: your self love and image. That's 57 00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:51,059 Speaker 1: so nice. I mean, ok, I mean, it's true. It's true. 58 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,529 Speaker 1: I'm really glad that social media exists in this form 59 00:02:53,538 --> 00:02:56,179 Speaker 1: because right now I'm not just talking about a anymore. 60 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,509 Speaker 1: It's about the way I dress and style. And recently 61 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:02,149 Speaker 1: I did a post about how, although I'm a female, 62 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,989 Speaker 1: but I like to dress endogenously and people tend to 63 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,820 Speaker 1: misgender me and how I don't take offense to that. 64 00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:09,888 Speaker 1: And quite a bit of girls relate to that. Like 65 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,910 Speaker 1: they didn't grow up loving girly stuff and it is OK, 66 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't take away 67 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,470 Speaker 1: or make us any less of a woman. A lot 68 00:03:16,479 --> 00:03:19,589 Speaker 1: of people dress and style themselves very differently from one another. 69 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,110 Speaker 1: People are quite unique with their styles. So in terms 70 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:26,228 Speaker 1: of like beauty, right? Like tastes and things like that 71 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: have evolved to be quite diverse. Also, men have started 72 00:03:30,089 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 1: wearing crop top skirts even. Yeah, I love 73 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:36,179 Speaker 2: that. Guys are wearing it in like K pop for example, 74 00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:38,820 Speaker 2: like performances and then other guys would be if these 75 00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:40,809 Speaker 2: people can do it. Like, what can I do it? Yeah. 76 00:03:40,899 --> 00:03:44,369 Speaker 2: So it's kind of just seeing that representation and being like, oh, 77 00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: if they can do it, then I'm sure it'll be 78 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: fine in my own society. How would 79 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: you define being conventionally attractive? Like what is conventionally attractive? 80 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:53,889 Speaker 1: It's a 81 00:03:53,899 --> 00:03:57,199 Speaker 2: lot of different factors. But what objectively you see online 82 00:03:57,210 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 2: as very conventionally pretty falls into the majority race because 83 00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:04,350 Speaker 2: you 10 people find the majority race like attractive because 84 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: that's what's mostly c on media, right? So Chinese as 85 00:04:06,089 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 2: someone who is Chinese, first of all, 86 00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:11,490 Speaker 2: second of all, they have a certain like influencer kind 87 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,839 Speaker 2: of look, there's a very cute girl car, there's also 88 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:17,579 Speaker 2: the very more high fashion like marks me, for example, 89 00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:22,609 Speaker 2: like there is a spectrum of what is conventionally attractive. Also, 90 00:04:22,619 --> 00:04:26,059 Speaker 2: I would say that pretty people, right? It's also dependent 91 00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,959 Speaker 2: on who is the audience for the pretty people. A 92 00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:28,909 Speaker 2: lot of people say that 93 00:04:29,173 --> 00:04:31,713 Speaker 2: girl stay in pretty is very different from guys, stay 94 00:04:31,752 --> 00:04:32,912 Speaker 2: in pretty. And 95 00:04:33,363 --> 00:04:35,263 Speaker 1: it's true. There was this one time I talked to 96 00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,643 Speaker 1: Nick about influencer, we were just saying, I was just 97 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,923 Speaker 1: saying this person is so beautiful to me. He 98 00:04:40,983 --> 00:04:43,382 Speaker 2: was like, no, I think some people dress for a 99 00:04:43,392 --> 00:04:46,631 Speaker 2: certain days and it's completely OK, like you can just 100 00:04:46,642 --> 00:04:48,822 Speaker 2: however you want or whatever. It's just if you're born pretty, 101 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,372 Speaker 2: then you're just born pretty like, you know, you 102 00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:52,936 Speaker 2: you can't change how you look and why would you 103 00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:55,526 Speaker 2: go and change yourself to like not look a certain way. 104 00:04:55,536 --> 00:04:56,985 Speaker 2: They just own it. That's how I say just only 105 00:04:57,026 --> 00:05:00,015 Speaker 2: if you own it, it can turn into hate, of course, 106 00:05:00,026 --> 00:05:04,044 Speaker 2: and shaming I fully celebrate the a BT community. In fact, 107 00:05:04,055 --> 00:05:08,276 Speaker 2: I think the A BT community is like, wonderful, a small, small, yes, 108 00:05:08,626 --> 00:05:11,865 Speaker 1: sorry then is it BT community? 109 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,519 Speaker 1: I just learn about this community though. That's so cool. 110 00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:19,058 Speaker 1: I'm part of it. It's my club. I 111 00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:22,290 Speaker 2: remember being at an event and it was a lot 112 00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 2: of people getting dressed for a specific um like a 113 00:05:25,488 --> 00:05:28,328 Speaker 2: runway kind of thing. So celebrating a lot of different 114 00:05:28,339 --> 00:05:33,519 Speaker 2: sizes and it was just a whole table of beautiful women, ok? 115 00:05:33,529 --> 00:05:36,390 Speaker 2: But they all had like smaller chairs and they started 116 00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,529 Speaker 2: shitting on people with bigger chairs. Like nice man. Have 117 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,170 Speaker 2: a nice kind of wear this like you, I don't 118 00:05:41,178 --> 00:05:41,890 Speaker 2: like it. I'm like 119 00:05:42,260 --> 00:05:45,459 Speaker 2: you don't have to bring another body type down to 120 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,130 Speaker 2: celebrate having a smaller chair. But it's very 121 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,579 Speaker 1: funny because when we were younger we will make fun 122 00:05:50,589 --> 00:05:54,059 Speaker 1: of Yes. Yeah, it's always like you got small chairs, 123 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:57,019 Speaker 1: you're not a woman because your front and back are 124 00:05:57,209 --> 00:06:00,019 Speaker 1: both flat. So you don't have curves and then that's 125 00:06:00,029 --> 00:06:02,070 Speaker 1: always seen as not attractive. So 126 00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:05,469 Speaker 2: again, this is all about what's conventional, I mean, conventional 127 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,980 Speaker 2: because it's what we are used to what is 128 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:10,179 Speaker 2: on media and I think we are starting to change 129 00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,329 Speaker 2: what being conventional even is 130 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,570 Speaker 1: for guys. I think quite straightforward. One is the very 131 00:06:15,579 --> 00:06:19,589 Speaker 1: westernized like Polo Ralph Lauren guy, right? When I say 132 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,630 Speaker 1: that you're not right? The blonde, blue hair, blonde, blue hair, blonde, 133 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,170 Speaker 1: blue eyes. Blonde blue eyes. But that 134 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:27,899 Speaker 2: one is like a 135 00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:31,799 Speaker 1: more than the other one is the Korean, 136 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,890 Speaker 1: the John Cook, the Jackson one, 137 00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:38,529 Speaker 2: a lot of the conventionally attractive people in Singapore tend 138 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:42,260 Speaker 2: to look like conventionally attractive East Asian people. So their 139 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,390 Speaker 2: beauty standard kind of like me makes a lot of 140 00:06:44,399 --> 00:06:46,829 Speaker 2: what K pop idol beauty standard is also not necessarily 141 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,820 Speaker 2: all because I would say that's more to people who 142 00:06:49,829 --> 00:06:52,730 Speaker 2: gravitate towards you. They like the fair kind of like 143 00:06:52,738 --> 00:06:55,029 Speaker 2: natural kind of beauty. But it's also girls who gravitate 144 00:06:55,040 --> 00:07:00,029 Speaker 2: towards more of like be kind of like more like, 145 00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:03,774 Speaker 2: but like in a very classy kind of way like 146 00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:05,035 Speaker 2: European style 147 00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:07,135 Speaker 1: Adele. Can I, can I also ask you what your 148 00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,954 Speaker 1: thoughts about this? I'm just learning a lot about like, 149 00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:13,105 Speaker 1: what does it mean to be conventionally beautiful? Because I 150 00:07:13,114 --> 00:07:15,614 Speaker 1: guess I never really quite fit into this spectrum of things. 151 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,105 Speaker 1: I'm always like the bro friend, you know. But yeah, 152 00:07:18,114 --> 00:07:20,834 Speaker 1: like learning about it, you know, like even thinking about 153 00:07:20,845 --> 00:07:24,105 Speaker 1: like what a conventionally good looking man is like, how 154 00:07:24,114 --> 00:07:26,225 Speaker 1: do you define it? And I think I'm stuck in 155 00:07:26,234 --> 00:07:27,554 Speaker 1: a very old era, like 156 00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:31,369 Speaker 1: the only conventionally handsome man that I can think of 157 00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:34,089 Speaker 1: in my head is, oh my God. It's like, oh 158 00:07:34,109 --> 00:07:44,309 Speaker 1: my God. I, I OK. Ok. I have OK. Him 159 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,359 Speaker 1: with his clothes on. Oh my God. I don't know 160 00:07:46,369 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: why I give you a word but in terms of 161 00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:53,140 Speaker 1: things that are within our control, right. What are some 162 00:07:53,149 --> 00:07:54,299 Speaker 1: things people find 163 00:07:54,609 --> 00:07:57,910 Speaker 1: unattractive? Do you see that there is a trend of like, 164 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,220 Speaker 1: what is commonly 165 00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:03,959 Speaker 1: not within the conventional beauty standard? Like tattoos, 166 00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:10,109 Speaker 2: tattoos piercings funnily enough. Moles. I always get asked by 167 00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:12,510 Speaker 2: aunties if I want to remove my moles. Oh 168 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,079 Speaker 1: my God, me too. And 169 00:08:14,089 --> 00:08:15,899 Speaker 2: they always offer, I help you remove for 170 00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:17,100 Speaker 1: free. Help you remove. 171 00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:22,665 Speaker 2: If when I go for like or you get tattoos 172 00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:24,825 Speaker 2: or piercings are here. Are you not afraid that next 173 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:27,904 Speaker 2: time you can't get married, it doesn't need to be 174 00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:29,964 Speaker 2: that they are wrong and that we are right. It's just, 175 00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,404 Speaker 2: we're just very different. 176 00:08:31,674 --> 00:08:34,093 Speaker 1: Something interesting. I realized I was talking with my guy 177 00:08:34,104 --> 00:08:36,145 Speaker 1: friends the other day, right? Is there a few of 178 00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:36,924 Speaker 1: them that say like 179 00:08:37,739 --> 00:08:39,539 Speaker 1: I like when the girl don't wear makeup, then they 180 00:08:39,549 --> 00:08:41,999 Speaker 1: show me a picture right there, bro. The girl wearing makeup? 181 00:08:42,148 --> 00:08:46,158 Speaker 1: Oh my God. It's a no makeup, makeup, makeup, makeup. 182 00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:48,278 Speaker 1: Is that you think no makeup like that? Like there 183 00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:53,637 Speaker 1: seems to be this, this fixation with looking effortlessly attractive. 184 00:08:53,689 --> 00:08:56,999 Speaker 1: Is that something that you think? So? I think aside 185 00:08:57,008 --> 00:08:59,998 Speaker 1: from that it's like they always tell you you should 186 00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:02,278 Speaker 1: grow out your hair like you shouldn't have short hair, 187 00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:05,900 Speaker 1: you know, because like long hair is pretty, wearing a 188 00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: dress is pretty. And then there was this one time 189 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:08,919 Speaker 1: very strange 190 00:09:09,739 --> 00:09:13,929 Speaker 1: guy when I wore boots, right? It's like that's not pretty, 191 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:18,979 Speaker 1: that's not attractive. It just shows it is not pretty 192 00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:24,590 Speaker 1: to chill. Ok, I'm exaggerating the wrong man. Basically, basically 193 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,544 Speaker 1: to them. It's like if you are grungy or more 194 00:09:27,554 --> 00:09:30,525 Speaker 1: masculine in terms of addressing or in terms of your 195 00:09:30,534 --> 00:09:34,984 Speaker 1: behavior is immediately not attractive because they want someone who 196 00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:35,854 Speaker 1: is like a soft 197 00:09:35,864 --> 00:09:38,914 Speaker 2: girl. It's very, very deep rooted in our society to 198 00:09:38,924 --> 00:09:42,054 Speaker 2: appeal to like the male gaze or have that kind 199 00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:43,585 Speaker 2: of validation for men 200 00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:47,260 Speaker 2: as women. I think not necessarily all women. I'm just 201 00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 2: saying like sometimes when you hear comments from guys, hey, 202 00:09:49,849 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: why you wear that? Like, not very nice. So you 203 00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:54,210 Speaker 2: like is it really not very nice that you will 204 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,978 Speaker 2: like question it? Maybe you don't have to place your 205 00:09:56,989 --> 00:09:59,539 Speaker 2: value on what the opposite gender thinks. Also, I think 206 00:09:59,549 --> 00:10:00,939 Speaker 2: surround yourself with people who are like, 207 00:10:01,219 --> 00:10:03,449 Speaker 2: be more supportive of like how you are and make 208 00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,169 Speaker 2: you feel beautiful for who you are. 209 00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: Have women said things to you and make you feel 210 00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:09,250 Speaker 1: the same way. A very 211 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,159 Speaker 2: good point. I want to know, I 212 00:10:11,169 --> 00:10:16,478 Speaker 1: think I'm fairly confident. Like if I like something, then 213 00:10:16,489 --> 00:10:18,530 Speaker 1: I would just like the thing. But I think they 214 00:10:18,539 --> 00:10:20,319 Speaker 1: are OK. It's a spectrum of men. 215 00:10:20,669 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: There are the men who are confident and like I 216 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: know what I like. So I'm gonna just wear whatever 217 00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: I like. There are the men who are insecure. So 218 00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:31,449 Speaker 1: like those I think they will, they will seek validation 219 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,099 Speaker 1: from both men and women. Sure. Then there are those 220 00:10:34,109 --> 00:10:34,450 Speaker 1: that just don't 221 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:38,250 Speaker 2: care. Yeah, I think it's about if you're confident and 222 00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:41,059 Speaker 2: you are at peace with who you are on the 223 00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:44,949 Speaker 2: inside and outside, you won't really be swayed by any 224 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,349 Speaker 2: outside 225 00:10:45,359 --> 00:10:48,719 Speaker 1: factors. Just now I mentioned about hair, right? And 226 00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:52,950 Speaker 1: regarding your alopecia journey, um you did mention on Tik 227 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,070 Speaker 1: Tok before that, you know, you struggle with these things. 228 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,570 Speaker 1: Maybe you can share with us more about how hair 229 00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:00,250 Speaker 1: was an impact on how you view yourself. I used 230 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: to be quite been. I mean, ok, as all girls would, 231 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,419 Speaker 1: I would say that I very qin although I do 232 00:11:05,429 --> 00:11:09,390 Speaker 1: dress very androgenous even back then, right? Having a long hair, 233 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,348 Speaker 1: I didn't 234 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: realize how much I care about my hair until the 235 00:11:13,849 --> 00:11:16,030 Speaker 1: moment where I started losing it. And I was like, 236 00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:17,989 Speaker 1: oh my God, OK. Actually, my hair matter quite a 237 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,900 Speaker 1: bit to me when I first realized that, oh, I 238 00:11:20,909 --> 00:11:24,299 Speaker 1: didn't actually have a choice to shave my head ball 239 00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 1: that hit me pretty hard. I mean, it hit me 240 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:30,380 Speaker 1: pretty hard. I hid away for a good while and 241 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,799 Speaker 1: there was a period of time I didn't even look 242 00:11:32,809 --> 00:11:33,650 Speaker 1: at the mirror. In fact, 243 00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: I don't even have eyebrows at a point of time 244 00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: and I have to learn how to draw an eyebrows 245 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:42,119 Speaker 1: because I don't know how to wear makeup. But after that, 246 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:46,599 Speaker 1: I learned that there's this embroidery thing. Save your life, guys. 247 00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:48,750 Speaker 1: Go for it. It's so good. It's so good. I 248 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,349 Speaker 1: don't have to wake up and then like one eyebrow 249 00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:52,890 Speaker 1: higher than the other. So like, it was always a 250 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,039 Speaker 1: mad rush and I have to go to school, you know, 251 00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:59,534 Speaker 1: when it comes to things like relationship, you know, talking 252 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,494 Speaker 1: to people putting yourself out there, I think there is 253 00:12:01,505 --> 00:12:03,895 Speaker 1: still a very big hurdle right now due to the 254 00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:07,114 Speaker 1: way I saw myself, right? They also often question me 255 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:10,914 Speaker 1: about my sexuality. What do you identify as and as 256 00:12:10,924 --> 00:12:13,414 Speaker 1: you get older, they get concerned, right? So the more 257 00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,145 Speaker 1: they will ask you and the thing is I have 258 00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:18,974 Speaker 1: always been straight and even with my hair, I, my 259 00:12:18,984 --> 00:12:21,054 Speaker 1: behavior has always been deemed as 260 00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 1: un convened journal. I behave like a tomboy. So with 261 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:29,369 Speaker 1: all these things added, it definitely did affect me, especially 262 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:32,989 Speaker 1: if I have to go out and like what kills it? 263 00:12:33,109 --> 00:12:34,819 Speaker 1: People will say that you look nicer if you dress 264 00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,940 Speaker 1: this way, like what you say, remove your mole and 265 00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:39,409 Speaker 1: you will look nicer, right? Sometimes I do get people 266 00:12:39,419 --> 00:12:42,299 Speaker 1: telling me that maybe you should wear a dress more 267 00:12:42,309 --> 00:12:44,968 Speaker 1: feminine because you really don't have hair already if you 268 00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,390 Speaker 1: dress up like that, right? Then more boys would like you. 269 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,718 Speaker 1: So like is this kind of thing that you hear? 270 00:12:49,729 --> 00:12:52,409 Speaker 1: Then the more you want to be daring? Because I 271 00:12:52,419 --> 00:12:54,299 Speaker 1: know that. There's a lot of girls out there who 272 00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: want to dress like, you know, how they want to 273 00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 1: and we shouldn't be limited by that. So, yeah, just, 274 00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:03,609 Speaker 1: just embrace yourself. The right one will come and when 275 00:13:03,619 --> 00:13:06,210 Speaker 1: the time is right, the time is right. So at 276 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,479 Speaker 1: the end of the day, what the uncle said to you, right? 277 00:13:08,489 --> 00:13:09,719 Speaker 1: Wouldn't matter because 278 00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:16,750 Speaker 1: you, you, you're not going to be the uncle and 279 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,979 Speaker 1: if you're gonna say that, but 280 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:26,968 Speaker 2: it's so weird like how femininity is something that people 281 00:13:26,979 --> 00:13:27,949 Speaker 2: even try 282 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,179 Speaker 2: to put in a box, you're not feminine. If you 283 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:34,780 Speaker 2: don't dress this way, you are not manly enough. If 284 00:13:34,789 --> 00:13:37,559 Speaker 2: you don't dress this way and it's all on their terms, 285 00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:40,570 Speaker 2: which just further proves that it's really up to the 286 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 2: person that's digesting it. Like if it was a very 287 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,140 Speaker 2: conventionally pretty girl, but she, 288 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:48,284 Speaker 2: she's a bit rougher. She's just taller and they almost 289 00:13:48,604 --> 00:13:51,724 Speaker 2: embrace it and think it's an endearing thing. But if 290 00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:56,445 Speaker 2: you present more androgynous and you could be the most 291 00:13:56,455 --> 00:13:59,465 Speaker 2: feminine like soft, they still wouldn't accept you as a 292 00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:03,324 Speaker 2: feminine person, which just proves that if they don't want 293 00:14:03,335 --> 00:14:04,205 Speaker 2: to see, they won't see 294 00:14:04,215 --> 00:14:07,304 Speaker 1: I discovered this when I was like planning for my 295 00:14:07,315 --> 00:14:08,164 Speaker 1: wardrobe at home. 296 00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:10,390 Speaker 1: Like women got a lot of different kind of clothes 297 00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:13,348 Speaker 1: we do, we do for guys, right? Is top bottom 298 00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:14,770 Speaker 1: then like your underwear. 299 00:14:15,049 --> 00:14:17,599 Speaker 2: But style as I could be like hair cut like 300 00:14:17,609 --> 00:14:18,700 Speaker 2: how you look facial. 301 00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:21,979 Speaker 1: Like I do think that especially coming from like a 302 00:14:21,989 --> 00:14:25,039 Speaker 1: boy school in secondary school, right? Sometimes when you put 303 00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: too much effort you get mocked. So that kind of thing. 304 00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: So there is that sort of like to masculinity that's 305 00:14:36,890 --> 00:14:37,479 Speaker 1: within 306 00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:40,559 Speaker 1: male circles also. So I think that's why a lot 307 00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:42,809 Speaker 1: of people just like a conform. I just wear the 308 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:45,929 Speaker 1: SG uniform of like Uniqlo. But then again, I think 309 00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: that even when guys deviate, they don't deviate that much. 310 00:14:50,729 --> 00:14:52,429 Speaker 1: So because there's not as much room to deviate as 311 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,070 Speaker 1: compared to women. 312 00:14:54,219 --> 00:14:58,190 Speaker 2: And it's also interesting because for example, tattoos, right? Like 313 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 2: I would say on a woman is different from how 314 00:15:00,969 --> 00:15:04,539 Speaker 2: tattoos are on a man because maybe on a guy 315 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,090 Speaker 2: like 316 00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:07,599 Speaker 2: let's just say girls will find that attractive. Like some 317 00:15:07,609 --> 00:15:10,690 Speaker 2: girls will find that attractive but you 318 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,109 Speaker 1: smart because you like that. OK. 319 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:21,070 Speaker 2: What's your favorite date idea? I'm so bad at like 320 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,979 Speaker 2: dating things. OK. But I like to watch Sunset. I 321 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:27,799 Speaker 2: love my picnic and sunset Ideal. Yeah, especially if the 322 00:15:27,809 --> 00:15:29,450 Speaker 2: person can. Yeah, sure. 323 00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:34,349 Speaker 2: The picnic chair, the the catalon picnic chair at the 324 00:15:34,369 --> 00:15:36,289 Speaker 2: table and then you like bring the food and you 325 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:36,409 Speaker 2: see 326 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: what is the most creative insight you have been insulted with? 327 00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:43,789 Speaker 1: Um Actually, I don't remember the old ones, but we 328 00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: were just laughing about one yesterday, our 329 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,330 Speaker 2: previous episode. OK, go check it out. We have an 330 00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:52,419 Speaker 2: episode talking about our 20 blow up about grow up. 331 00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,989 Speaker 2: And then you said like I used to be very ugly. Committed. 332 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:55,729 Speaker 2: Used to, 333 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:57,950 Speaker 1: you're still 334 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,409 Speaker 2: ugly now. Yeah. Not you saying that with your profile 335 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,140 Speaker 2: picture there? 336 00:16:01,570 --> 00:16:04,460 Speaker 1: OK. What makes someone a good friend and a bad 337 00:16:04,469 --> 00:16:08,549 Speaker 1: friend who I think really just how dependable you are. 338 00:16:08,739 --> 00:16:09,219 Speaker 1: When 339 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:12,380 Speaker 2: did you stop taking an allowance from your parents 340 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:13,159 Speaker 1: yesterday? 341 00:16:15,719 --> 00:16:17,299 Speaker 1: I don't 342 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,739 Speaker 2: remember. It must have been from when I stopped school. 343 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,140 Speaker 2: So I think when I graduated from Lasalle 344 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,099 Speaker 1: who is a guest, you would like to see on 345 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: the hot pot. 346 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,989 Speaker 1: But I think to the point, I also add that 347 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,700 Speaker 1: guys who don't have it as easy because in fact, 348 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,450 Speaker 1: like what you just said, they choose to conform, right? 349 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,289 Speaker 1: But those who choose to stand out, right? They get 350 00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:48,979 Speaker 1: twice as much hate. Actually, they get called out even 351 00:16:48,989 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: worse because there's fewer men who stand Yeah, exactly who 352 00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:55,739 Speaker 1: stand out. So it's much more harder on them. And 353 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:59,409 Speaker 1: as for those guys also struggle with things with and stuff. 354 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,599 Speaker 1: So we always say that easier for guys 355 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,099 Speaker 1: because I guys no hand and my girls cannot, right? 356 00:17:04,229 --> 00:17:06,369 Speaker 1: But the thing is no, it is equally as hard 357 00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:09,339 Speaker 1: for guys because it is like if you suddenly lose 358 00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:10,780 Speaker 1: your hair right now, it would be like I have 359 00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:13,369 Speaker 1: mentioned this before in previous episode, right? Where something that 360 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:17,209 Speaker 1: I'm quite stressed about is like hair loss. So actually, 361 00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 1: I thought I'm on like like hair subreddits. Well, it's 362 00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:23,140 Speaker 1: quite intense and they will really discuss that what medication 363 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 1: they are taking and things like that then is it 364 00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,859 Speaker 1: time to shave my hair or is it not in 365 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,239 Speaker 1: my head? That sort of thing? So 366 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:31,750 Speaker 1: it's a very real struggle that a lot of men 367 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,849 Speaker 1: face also. 368 00:17:32,949 --> 00:17:35,409 Speaker 2: I think something also they can, they face that maybe 369 00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,650 Speaker 2: they can even change is like height. Is it like 370 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:40,599 Speaker 2: a sensitive thing for guys? I feel like that that 371 00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:42,469 Speaker 2: is something I hear a lot that is the most 372 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,510 Speaker 2: sensitive for men, I think 373 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:48,130 Speaker 1: like, yeah, yeah. So do you think that someone can 374 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: be accepted as attractive? Even if you don't fit with 375 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:52,199 Speaker 1: the standard, 376 00:17:52,285 --> 00:17:54,024 Speaker 1: say in like a local context? 377 00:17:54,094 --> 00:17:58,505 Speaker 2: 100%? But I think it depends on what you find attractive, right? 378 00:17:58,574 --> 00:18:01,464 Speaker 2: Like there are some people who I mean love is 379 00:18:01,474 --> 00:18:04,185 Speaker 2: b is a great example really dating series that like 380 00:18:04,194 --> 00:18:06,145 Speaker 2: we are here not to judge someone based on their 381 00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:10,994 Speaker 2: looks and someone's interests could be very attractive. The way 382 00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:14,055 Speaker 2: someone talks could be very attractive, the way they handle 383 00:18:14,064 --> 00:18:15,864 Speaker 2: themselves or deal with 384 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,410 Speaker 2: stressful situations can be very attractive. So I definitely think 385 00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:24,829 Speaker 2: it's possible for someone to not look conventionally attractive, to 386 00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:27,369 Speaker 2: be very attractive, charisma. So, 387 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:28,619 Speaker 1: but I think the most important thing is if I 388 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:30,170 Speaker 1: ask you, do you think you're attractive, then 389 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,949 Speaker 1: you should like ideally in an ideal world. I feel 390 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:35,209 Speaker 1: like it's healthy to be like, yeah, I'm attractive in 391 00:18:35,219 --> 00:18:38,540 Speaker 1: a way that I'm comfortable with as we grow and 392 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:41,250 Speaker 1: as social media evolve. Like right now on Tik Tok, 393 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:43,609 Speaker 1: you can see that there's a lot of different communities, right? 394 00:18:43,619 --> 00:18:46,889 Speaker 1: There's like the gaming tech, there's even fashion and beauty. 395 00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,859 Speaker 1: So it was from the fashion and beauty side, I 396 00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:51,929 Speaker 1: get to see like people exploring different choices and the 397 00:18:51,939 --> 00:18:54,229 Speaker 1: way they make up and style, you know, you, you 398 00:18:54,239 --> 00:18:58,339 Speaker 1: normalize it because you see it often and sooner or later, 399 00:18:58,349 --> 00:19:00,380 Speaker 1: it will become something that is 400 00:19:00,729 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: normal to us and we would just accept it. But 401 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:06,909 Speaker 1: I think ultimately the acceptance come from within until you 402 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,140 Speaker 1: truly accept yourself. You wouldn't be able to feel like 403 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:10,129 Speaker 1: you have been accepted. 404 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,250 Speaker 2: I think an example of someone who's not conventionally attractive, 405 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 2: but striving very successful and has a very big fan base. 406 00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:20,389 Speaker 2: Is she? 407 00:19:20,979 --> 00:19:24,300 Speaker 2: So there's this thing called musician handsome. Have you heard 408 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:27,900 Speaker 2: of that? They only attractive because of their talent? And 409 00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 2: this is very, this is just layman terms. OK? To 410 00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,900 Speaker 2: put very lightly without digging deep. 411 00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:36,060 Speaker 1: Is it talent or money? I think it's, 412 00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:39,579 Speaker 2: it's not even like 413 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:42,969 Speaker 2: quantifying their talent, but it could be their passion. It 414 00:19:42,979 --> 00:19:45,310 Speaker 2: could be the the job tenacity. 415 00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:47,709 Speaker 1: Sometimes they talk about their jobs, right? And then they're 416 00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,670 Speaker 1: so passionate about it. A few years ago. I still 417 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:54,500 Speaker 1: remember like one of a friend, right? Go. She told 418 00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,930 Speaker 1: me something that I thought was funny. She said, like, 419 00:19:56,939 --> 00:19:59,479 Speaker 1: when we first met, when I first met her she 420 00:19:59,489 --> 00:19:59,660 Speaker 1: thought 421 00:19:59,719 --> 00:20:01,729 Speaker 1: I was attractive. Then after that, like, after hanging out 422 00:20:01,739 --> 00:20:05,099 Speaker 1: with me for one hour she said, no, I laugh. 423 00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:10,020 Speaker 1: It's true. It's true. It's true. Your personality also will 424 00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:12,430 Speaker 1: play a very big part in how attractive you are 425 00:20:12,439 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 1: to certain types of people. Yeah. I think it's 50% 50%. Yeah. Like, is, 426 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,699 Speaker 1: it is some super handsome guy? Can you say your boots? 427 00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:22,369 Speaker 1: Not pretty? Your boots? Yeah, I heard, I heard that 428 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,449 Speaker 1: I was like some super handsome guy come to you 429 00:20:25,459 --> 00:20:27,099 Speaker 1: and say like your boots, 430 00:20:29,079 --> 00:20:31,609 Speaker 1: then you straight away would like your view of this 431 00:20:31,619 --> 00:20:36,329 Speaker 1: guy straight away. Turn off. I mean, I, I went 432 00:20:36,339 --> 00:20:40,109 Speaker 1: on a date with someone who's super attractive, like physically, 433 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,839 Speaker 1: he's my type but the moment he spoke right and 434 00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:46,319 Speaker 1: the way he, he was, he was a bit narcissistic 435 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:50,670 Speaker 1: like everything was about himself, then immediately not appeal at all. 436 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,968 Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaking of personality, I think someone is very sure 437 00:20:53,979 --> 00:20:54,260 Speaker 2: of themselves 438 00:20:54,613 --> 00:20:58,412 Speaker 2: and confident. We find it very attractive, right? But I 439 00:20:58,422 --> 00:21:01,172 Speaker 2: think a lot of people also say that it's easy 440 00:21:01,182 --> 00:21:04,453 Speaker 2: to be confident when you are conventionally attractive. Everything that 441 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:08,753 Speaker 2: you see assures who you are, the media assures your beauty. 442 00:21:08,983 --> 00:21:10,133 Speaker 2: It's very true. I mean, 443 00:21:10,223 --> 00:21:13,833 Speaker 1: it's easy to be confident when you have external affirmation 444 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:17,572 Speaker 1: on like something. Yeah. So if you're not physically attractive 445 00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:20,432 Speaker 1: but you super rich. Yeah, then like the whole world 446 00:21:20,442 --> 00:21:20,892 Speaker 1: tell you that 447 00:21:20,975 --> 00:21:23,395 Speaker 1: money is like the most important thing in the world. 448 00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:27,215 Speaker 1: Then chances are you will be rich. Yeah. So one 449 00:21:27,225 --> 00:21:31,115 Speaker 1: thing that Leah mentioned on her video was about pretty privilege. 450 00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:34,395 Speaker 1: So do you guys think that that really matters or 451 00:21:34,406 --> 00:21:35,186 Speaker 1: it exists? 452 00:21:35,406 --> 00:21:39,676 Speaker 2: I think it's very obvious it exists when you see 453 00:21:39,975 --> 00:21:44,355 Speaker 2: the disparity in treatment with people, whether it be in service, 454 00:21:44,526 --> 00:21:47,475 Speaker 2: be in the workforce, be it online, 455 00:21:47,959 --> 00:21:50,890 Speaker 2: you know, or just in general at a party, you 456 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:51,910 Speaker 2: can just observe, 457 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,149 Speaker 1: there are some jobs that, like, the very job requirement 458 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,319 Speaker 1: is you must be good looking at a few years ago. Right. 459 00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: I have a 460 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,839 Speaker 1: distant cousin, right, who was like, just graduating from UNI 461 00:22:02,849 --> 00:22:05,910 Speaker 1: and then like, she's quite like, pretty la. So then 462 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,540 Speaker 1: there were uncles and aunties. I just go and do 463 00:22:08,550 --> 00:22:13,020 Speaker 1: insurance or property la very easy. My pretty, so there's 464 00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:15,569 Speaker 1: this sort of like notion also that like, oh, ok, 465 00:22:15,579 --> 00:22:18,910 Speaker 1: sales job or like even something like what does being 466 00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:21,260 Speaker 1: good looking have to do with insurance or like how 467 00:22:21,270 --> 00:22:24,069 Speaker 1: well you manage finances and things like that. But then, 468 00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:27,130 Speaker 1: you know, there's that stereotype, the only time I've experienced 469 00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:30,948 Speaker 1: this is at a bar, at a bar. Ok. Maybe 470 00:22:30,959 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: because it's the way I saw and, you know, so 471 00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:37,489 Speaker 1: someone bought a drink for the table. Yeah. But that 472 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:38,810 Speaker 1: person didn't buy a drink for me. 473 00:22:39,609 --> 00:22:43,540 Speaker 1: So, and it was very obvious that like, he knew 474 00:22:43,550 --> 00:22:46,010 Speaker 1: that I was a girl as well in the workplace 475 00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:49,930 Speaker 1: when actually, like, your looks have no bearing on the 476 00:22:49,939 --> 00:22:50,419 Speaker 1: work that you 477 00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:52,689 Speaker 2: do. I think that if you're more attractive, your ideas 478 00:22:52,699 --> 00:22:55,179 Speaker 2: are taken more seriously 479 00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:58,729 Speaker 2: and the way you present yourself and it could just be, 480 00:22:58,739 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 2: they view as confidence solely because you are deemed attractive 481 00:23:01,569 --> 00:23:04,150 Speaker 2: in their eyes. I feel like maybe my thought is 482 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,780 Speaker 2: the opposite of that actually, because sometimes if you are 483 00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:10,069 Speaker 2: too attractive, right? They may think like she's just a 484 00:23:10,079 --> 00:23:13,250 Speaker 2: pretty face, she may not know much about the work 485 00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,180 Speaker 2: that she's doing. So I think this could be a 486 00:23:15,189 --> 00:23:18,589 Speaker 2: struggle that maybe some attractive people may face like to 487 00:23:18,599 --> 00:23:21,438 Speaker 2: be taken seriously in their jobs. Their girls will say 488 00:23:21,449 --> 00:23:22,958 Speaker 2: like I cannot wear like 489 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,035 Speaker 2: this kind of makeup. I have to like probably I 490 00:23:25,046 --> 00:23:26,705 Speaker 2: have to wear glasses to wear a blazer. I have 491 00:23:26,715 --> 00:23:28,095 Speaker 2: to kind of tone down the pres. I mean they 492 00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:30,816 Speaker 2: say I'm attractive but they take me more seriously in 493 00:23:30,895 --> 00:23:35,275 Speaker 2: the industry especially I have a friend tell me that, 494 00:23:35,316 --> 00:23:38,035 Speaker 2: isn't it a universal experience for girls to go to 495 00:23:38,046 --> 00:23:39,686 Speaker 2: a club at a bar and then get free drinks? 496 00:23:39,696 --> 00:23:42,406 Speaker 2: I just look at her and I was like, like 497 00:23:42,416 --> 00:23:44,166 Speaker 2: I've never gone to a bar and just stood there 498 00:23:44,176 --> 00:23:45,744 Speaker 2: and then people come up to me and give me drinks. 499 00:23:45,755 --> 00:23:49,765 Speaker 2: Like never sometimes that pretty people the attractive. People may 500 00:23:49,776 --> 00:23:50,456 Speaker 2: not realize 501 00:23:50,982 --> 00:23:53,541 Speaker 2: that they are attractive and they are having a privilege 502 00:23:53,552 --> 00:23:54,621 Speaker 2: from being attractive. 503 00:23:54,722 --> 00:23:57,421 Speaker 1: I just remember something because last time Halloween Horror Nights, 504 00:23:57,432 --> 00:23:59,991 Speaker 1: a very long queue, right? Then my group of friends 505 00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:02,592 Speaker 1: just send the prettiest girl to go and ask a 506 00:24:02,602 --> 00:24:05,361 Speaker 1: group of guys, can we cut, you know, they allow? 507 00:24:05,381 --> 00:24:06,612 Speaker 1: Oh my God. 508 00:24:07,371 --> 00:24:09,781 Speaker 2: It's so funny because some people use it to their 509 00:24:09,791 --> 00:24:12,732 Speaker 2: advantage also and that's how pretty privilege works, right? It's 510 00:24:12,741 --> 00:24:14,361 Speaker 2: like using that to your advantage. 511 00:24:14,592 --> 00:24:16,901 Speaker 1: So just now you guys also mentioned about how Gen 512 00:24:16,911 --> 00:24:17,862 Speaker 1: Z are more 513 00:24:18,459 --> 00:24:22,188 Speaker 1: unapologetically them. Do you guys think that beauty standards in 514 00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:24,849 Speaker 1: Singapore will start to change because of this new generation? 515 00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:27,899 Speaker 1: I do because you can really see the change happening 516 00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:30,500 Speaker 1: and more and more people are more daring to be 517 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:34,199 Speaker 1: themselves and you can see guys flitting into girls clothes 518 00:24:34,209 --> 00:24:37,369 Speaker 1: and girls wearing guys clothes and even at Uniqlo, you 519 00:24:37,380 --> 00:24:40,770 Speaker 1: can see they have this range of clothes for both gender. 520 00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:43,208 Speaker 1: So I think we are starting to see more of 521 00:24:43,219 --> 00:24:45,369 Speaker 1: a change happening in like 522 00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:50,379 Speaker 1: our everyday living. So they will cheer themselves out. They 523 00:24:50,390 --> 00:24:52,540 Speaker 1: will look at me and be like, yes, that's what 524 00:24:52,550 --> 00:24:55,119 Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear. They very they very rest up. 525 00:24:56,780 --> 00:24:57,650 Speaker 1: That's not how she 526 00:24:57,660 --> 00:24:59,790 Speaker 2: really took a deep breath before he said that and 527 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 2: like he's very proud of it. I don't know how 528 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:02,069 Speaker 2: she 529 00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:05,630 Speaker 1: what she said that 530 00:25:07,199 --> 00:25:10,260 Speaker 1: any last words earlier there are for people watching, 531 00:25:10,310 --> 00:25:12,780 Speaker 2: it's natural to compare yourself to other people who are 532 00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:15,420 Speaker 2: more attractive. Like this is a human nature thing, but 533 00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:18,329 Speaker 2: find the confidence and the qualities that you think you 534 00:25:18,339 --> 00:25:21,349 Speaker 2: are attractive about yourself. And like, you know, think about 535 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,270 Speaker 2: that and I value your worth on that also, not 536 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,218 Speaker 2: just like on your appearance like, yeah, end of 537 00:25:25,229 --> 00:25:27,339 Speaker 1: the day, like, like what they say we are all human. 538 00:25:27,349 --> 00:25:31,250 Speaker 1: We have to be empathetic to everyone because it's not 539 00:25:31,260 --> 00:25:35,400 Speaker 1: easy being human guy or girl. It's truly not easy. 540 00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:36,500 Speaker 1: So yeah, 541 00:25:38,209 --> 00:25:40,640 Speaker 2: thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Please share 542 00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 2: your stories with us in the comments section and don't 543 00:25:42,890 --> 00:25:44,729 Speaker 1: forget to subscribe to our channel and of course, a 544 00:25:44,739 --> 00:25:47,579 Speaker 1: big thanks as well to our special guest for today, 545 00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:50,889 Speaker 1: Leah and Adeline. Be nice. There's going to be comments 546 00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,489 Speaker 1: about bad haircuts. It's not, it's a growth, but I 547 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:54,989 Speaker 1: love it now. You hope so. Thank 548 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 2: you. We'll see you in the next episode. Bye. 549 00:26:00,430 --> 00:26:11,689 Speaker 1: You can go. You go. 550 00:26:12,770 --> 00:26:13,510 Speaker 1: Oh my God.