Speaker 1: But sometimes I do consider the fact that your partner
Speaker 1: can see something you can't. When men go into relationship
Speaker 1: or friendship with a girl, they may see this woman
Speaker 1: as a potential partner. Is that true?
Speaker 2: And why we are friends? I think we give with
Speaker 2: giving each other the egg also. I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously, like your friends give you an egg. That's why
Speaker 1: you're not dating your friends.
Speaker 1: You know who your friends are like,
Speaker 1: hey guys, welcome to another episode of men. Explain if
Speaker 1: you haven't already subscribed to clarity, please do so. Right now,
Speaker 1: share the love and let your friends know about this
Speaker 1: episode today. It's a topic that we've kind of delved
Speaker 1: in before. Can men and women be besties? But we're
Speaker 1: going to address something a little deeper today.
Speaker 1: Friendship boundaries. Should your friendship change along with your relationship status?
Speaker 1: In other words, is there a reason for your partner
Speaker 1: to be jealous of your best friend? Now, to delve
Speaker 1: further into this today, we've got two real life besties
Speaker 1: with us right now. Attica and her. Welcome them. Hello.
Speaker 1: Thanks for you. Want to introduce yourself to our viewers.
Speaker 1: Hi, my name is Atiqah and I'm a content creator
Speaker 1: and this is my best friend
Speaker 2: here. Hello, I'm here. I run a production house called
Speaker 2: Subset
Speaker 2: and I'm Aa's friend
Speaker 1: and friends for five years. Five years. Ok. So five
Speaker 1: years was enough to call each other best friend. Actually,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, the time, doesn't matter the quality of
Speaker 1: the friendship. So, tell me, how did you guys meet? Well,
Speaker 1: we met in university in our first year and we
Speaker 1: had a mutual friend
Speaker 1: and that's how we were introduced to each other. And
Speaker 1: then we sort of clicked like our personalities match and
Speaker 1: we join like the friend group and then we became
Speaker 1: best friends. We were in the same club in uni,
Speaker 1: we were in track and field. So we had the
Speaker 1: same interests and we took same classes. So why didn't
Speaker 1: this become like a relationship? Like, why did you?
Speaker 2: No, no, no.
Speaker 2: I was curious
Speaker 1: because I want to tell the hard questions just straight
Speaker 1: into it one minute.
Speaker 2: Have
Speaker 1: you met me? No, you haven't. Actually the first time
Speaker 1: that thought never crossed my mind. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: why didn't you cross my mind?
Speaker 1: But for me, it was really natural that we became
Speaker 1: friends and
Speaker 2: she was already in a relationship.
Speaker 1: So, ok. But you are in a relationship. So did
Speaker 1: your partner find it? I don't know, uncomfortable that you
Speaker 1: were getting closer to someone of the opposite sex? No,
Speaker 1: I think
Speaker 1: also because in my relationship, I, we had a lot
Speaker 1: of friends of other sex. So, like, it was, it
Speaker 1: wasn't something of this world that I made a friend
Speaker 1: in UNI, was of a different gender. So, and I
Speaker 1: also introduced him to her. So it wasn't,
Speaker 1: it was completely open. There was no tension. It was like, it, like,
Speaker 1: it wasn't even like, oh, I met a friend. No,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, I'm gonna hang out with was there?
Speaker 1: It was my friend in UNI.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also I think it helps that we were, like,
Speaker 2: in situations where, like, it's not that we tried to
Speaker 2: hang out. So we had classes together or, like, we
Speaker 2: would meet after school because we were going to track,
Speaker 1: like, you were, like, in my room alone. Like we
Speaker 1: were like,
Speaker 1: but towards the end, like, the last few years of
Speaker 1: our friendship, we basically already established as completely at the start.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like anything like we're hanging out at night
Speaker 1: and some, some you guys talk about everything and anything
Speaker 1: because I came from a girls school for, like, 10 years. Right. So,
Speaker 1: naturally a lot of my very close friends,
Speaker 1: friends are girls. Yeah, I do have a couple, one
Speaker 1: or two, like, really close guy friends. You've met one
Speaker 1: of him. Avery is one of my very close man friends,
Speaker 1: but I don't see him as, like a guy that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hook up with or ever. I hope he's
Speaker 1: never seen me that way. I'm not sure. Please don't
Speaker 1: ask him. I don't want to know. But, you know,
Speaker 1: when it comes to that I confide in my girlfriends
Speaker 1: in a very,
Speaker 1: in a very different way than I would confide in
Speaker 1: my close guy friends. So, is that the same for
Speaker 1: you guys? For me? It's the same. I was also
Speaker 1: from a gold school. I was in a gold school
Speaker 1: for like five years in my secondary school. And I
Speaker 1: do feel like I connect well, I connect better with
Speaker 1: females and there's just some things that you can speak
Speaker 1: to your female friends that you can't do with your
Speaker 1: guy friends. I'm sorry. But this is like,
Speaker 1: I want to know what can you tell your girlfriends
Speaker 1: that you can't tell you some things that are just
Speaker 1: more emotional. OK? Some things that I, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to compute it
Speaker 1: don't have that, that neurons the way we do the same,
Speaker 1: like maybe the same empathy females have for each other.
Speaker 1: Like the same, the way you go about life, the
Speaker 1: way you see life is very different from, from a
Speaker 1: female lens and a male lens. So there are some
Speaker 1: things that
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to tell her but like it's
Speaker 1: not like I'm withholding it from you. It's just that
Speaker 1: I would feel more comfortable telling my girlfriend is that
Speaker 1: also similar, like stuff that you would tell me your bros,
Speaker 1: you mean? Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, differently. Yeah. I think, I mean, I guess friendships
Speaker 2: with girls is, like, different from friendship with other guys. Right. So,
Speaker 2: male friendships, I mean, we talk about stuff that I
Speaker 2: wouldn't talk to article with just maybe it's inappropriate or something. But, yeah,
Speaker 2: but then I think female friendships offer different sort of
Speaker 2: function and perspective. I think also, I think I said also, like,
Speaker 2: I think I feel a bit more comfortable or, like,
Speaker 2: opening up to her about, like, emotional stuff that I
Speaker 2: wouldn't talk with my guy friends. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't mind being a bit more vulnerable.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, because I feel like they don't judge. But with,
Speaker 2: but then with the boys is like, kind of like,
Speaker 2: sweep things under the rug almost and sometimes, like, you know,
Speaker 2: you would,
Speaker 1: yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys don't know how to react when you open
Speaker 1: up emotionally. I feel the awkwardness in the air when
Speaker 1: guys try to open up then they're like, is
Speaker 2: like, damn, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know that, that's true. You're not getting the in
Speaker 1: depth views.
Speaker 2: It is very, I think, like, with male friendships is
Speaker 2: very rare. I mean, I have one or two friends
Speaker 2: I really open up with and we are really close
Speaker 2: like that, but I think in general
Speaker 2: it doesn't really happen.
Speaker 1: Is Atiqah your only very close female friend? I would
Speaker 1: say I have 20, ok. Ok. Jasmine. How about How
Speaker 1: about you? Guy friends? I actually don't have, I don't
Speaker 1: think I have a lot of guy friends. Actually. I
Speaker 1: have you, I have a couple but they are overseas.
Speaker 1: So similar. Similarly. I feel the same way as you. Like,
Speaker 1: I still have more female friends. Definitely more female friends. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Definitely more female friends. Ok. So then
Speaker 1: let's take it to when you guys are dating or
Speaker 1: in relationships. Ok. I'm sure you've already kind of been,
Speaker 1: you've dated while you had this friendship,
Speaker 2: right? Honestly, I've been single for quite some time. Ok.
Speaker 2: So I don't date but then it's like maybe like
Speaker 2: talking to someone but then
Speaker 2: not, nothing
Speaker 1: serious. Ok. So in that process, I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: you are dating now. Are you currently? I'm seeing someone. Ok.
Speaker 1: So during that process of dating other people, has it
Speaker 1: ever cropped up? Like this friendship might be an issue
Speaker 1: to your partner.
Speaker 1: My friendship with her. Never, never, never hair was never
Speaker 1: an issue. Yeah. It's also because you have to introduce
Speaker 1: your guy friends to your partner. You have to do that.
Speaker 1: So previously I had an ex that was really not
Speaker 1: comfortable with one of my guy friends and despite the
Speaker 1: formal introductions that we all hang out as a group,
Speaker 1: like it's truly purely platonic, but he was never really
Speaker 1: OK with it.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. What, why did he feel that way? What,
Speaker 1: what did he say? He just said, like, he spends
Speaker 1: so much time around you. Like, I think he likes you,
Speaker 1: but it turns out that he didn't, it was purely platonic.
Speaker 1: But I feel like sometimes though, I mean, this is,
Speaker 1: you can't have blanketed statements or, like, you can have
Speaker 1: a guy friend, you can't have a guy friend or, like,
Speaker 1: guys will never like their girlfriend since obviously it's such
Speaker 1: a gray area and there's so many cases. but sometimes
Speaker 1: I do consider the fact that your partner can see
Speaker 1: something you can,
Speaker 1: like, your partner can maybe, yeah. You know, like, if
Speaker 1: I had, if I was dating someone and he had
Speaker 1: girlfriend and, like, I'm reading the girls cues and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: that was something I was doing when I was trying
Speaker 1: to get with you, then I would know that I'd
Speaker 1: be able to tell and it would be oblivious to
Speaker 1: the guy. Yeah. So I find it
Speaker 1: like, sometimes it's best unless maybe your partner see something
Speaker 1: that you don't and then maybe it's like by the
Speaker 1: time you ask the guy, he's like, yeah, I just
Speaker 1: saw you as a friend but maybe at that point,
Speaker 1: maybe it was perhaps. But, but I think it also
Speaker 1: comes down to how secure your partner is.
Speaker 1: You know, because I'm still friends with this person and
Speaker 1: my current partner is completely fine with him. In fact,
Speaker 1: they're really close.
Speaker 2: That's what happened. Yeah. Right. Ok. Tell me more. What happened.
Speaker 2: So I think with and this is such an individual
Speaker 2: like human thing like connecting with another human being, right?
Speaker 2: So it just so happened to be that like her
Speaker 2: partner at that time, we became really good friends and
Speaker 2: we would even like talk without her in the
Speaker 2: like I will text him, you know, on my own accord.
Speaker 2: So we became friends and it's not just like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm texting Aa's boyfriend, you know, it just so happened
Speaker 2: that we became really close friends and he really trusted
Speaker 2: me and there were no problems with like, you know,
Speaker 2: you not, that's a broke code and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But ok, what are some boundaries that
Speaker 1: you would never cross with each other? For example, I
Speaker 1: have a story to share but maybe you can, can
Speaker 1: answer first.
Speaker 1: I think I would never like go out with you
Speaker 1: super late at night and then not tell my partner
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff or like, I don't think we're like,
Speaker 1: really touchy but we like hug friendship, like greeting. Like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't like, I wouldn't sit like super, super close
Speaker 1: to you, that kind of thing, right? Also, like I
Speaker 1: feel like it doesn't
Speaker 2: happen. Like why would we be doing that
Speaker 1: natural? It's very natural. Like it's a very friendship tonic
Speaker 1: relationship we had. So there's never a case where like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, I can't cross this boundary like no,
Speaker 1: like I don't
Speaker 1: behave like that anyway. Yeah. Well, ok, so then I'll
Speaker 1: ask you this question. Would you travel? Just the two
Speaker 1: of you? I would, would we want to? Yeah, we've
Speaker 1: been saying
Speaker 2: we want, we've been saying, would
Speaker 1: you share a room together? No, I don't think, I
Speaker 1: don't think I would be. It depends, is a
Speaker 2: budget and we don't have money but given a choice,
Speaker 2: I think
Speaker 1: like, ideally we wouldn't just like, ideally it's like I
Speaker 1: want my own bed, I'll share, I'll share his story
Speaker 1: with you. It's not about me
Speaker 1: but one of my very close friends, he actually was
Speaker 1: attached and he was so sure this goal is like
Speaker 1: the love of his life, sorry was was they broke up.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so he was so sure love of his life.
Speaker 1: But the problem is she had so many male friends
Speaker 1: a lot in this bigger group. They actually went on
Speaker 1: a trip together, the friend group without him, so without
Speaker 1: my friend.
Speaker 1: So then she goes, oh, you know, the accommodation is
Speaker 1: kind of limited and I'm going to have to share
Speaker 1: a room with this guy, right? Which is a close friend,
Speaker 1: a close friend of hers and my friend always had
Speaker 1: a bad feeling about this guy. He was always like,
Speaker 1: oh man, this dude is like, I think he's trying
Speaker 1: to be funny with her or like he secretly likes
Speaker 1: her or something. And I always told him like, don't
Speaker 1: overthink like if you trust her. Like, maybe she's really,
Speaker 1: hopefully she's telling the truth, you know. And unfortunately he
Speaker 1: was right,
Speaker 1: that guy has liked her since the beginning of time
Speaker 1: and he actually admitted it to her during that trip,
Speaker 1: that he shared the room with her during the trip,
Speaker 1: that he shared the room with her. Like, they share
Speaker 1: the same, they share the same bit. Yes. Oh, my God.
Speaker 1: There's a bit. I feel like if you share the
Speaker 1: same bed, you need like a pillow for like, even
Speaker 1: with my girlfriends, we have a pillow for, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like even if my girl I'm like, look, we
Speaker 1: need to have a vibe here first.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So to me when I heard that story, I
Speaker 1: was like, wow. Firstly, I would never share a bit
Speaker 1: with it. So like
Speaker 2: a bit
Speaker 1: of a red flag. Yeah. Maybe the person's intuition is
Speaker 1: wrong but you should still respect your partner's wishes. Like,
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't want my boyfriend sharing a bit of
Speaker 1: a random girlfriend.
Speaker 1: That would be so weird to me. I feel like
Speaker 1: I'd be ok with that if I, if I trust,
Speaker 1: I mean, I, it's not that I don't trust but
Speaker 1: I just find that whole concept. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: someone that needs my personal space. So I find it
Speaker 1: difficult to even invite like total strangers into my house.
Speaker 1: So that's just, that's just me. Yeah, I think, I
Speaker 1: think I'd be ok with it, if I know the
Speaker 1: gold slot,
Speaker 1: honestly it
Speaker 2: is news even to me, I'm like, really? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I, because I never took place in such a
Speaker 1: situation so I've never thought about it. But, like, now
Speaker 1: I'm thinking theoretically hypothetically I would be ok.
Speaker 2: I guess it also depends how, well, you know, your
Speaker 2: partner and how secure you are in the relationship as well.
Speaker 2: And it's very like, situation based. Like this friendship that
Speaker 2: we have was very rare. I think you don't really
Speaker 2: get that a lot. I feel. So at the end
Speaker 2: of the day really, it's like, like case by case basis,
Speaker 1: it really is. Yeah. So, so can your significant other
Speaker 1: also be your best friend though? You know, if you're
Speaker 1: dating someone or having been with someone? Can that person
Speaker 1: also be your bestie? Yeah. 100%. I think they should
Speaker 1: be your best friend.
Speaker 1: But in your best friend, in a very different sense
Speaker 1: than my goal, best friend. For example, like, they can
Speaker 1: never replace the friendship I have with my female friends.
Speaker 1: But being in a relationship, I think for me, I've,
Speaker 1: you find friendship in the love and that's how you wanna,
Speaker 1: you wanna be able to enjoy time spent together and
Speaker 1: you shouldn't just be all romantic. I mean, definitely it's
Speaker 1: gonna be a romantic relationship. But
Speaker 1: very important part for me in a relationship is the
Speaker 1: friendship is wanting to hang out with them to tell
Speaker 1: that person, everything that, that person has to be the
Speaker 1: first one to know everything. But it's also important to
Speaker 1: have friendship outside of your relationship. Like, that's something that
Speaker 1: you should also have for yourself to, for you to
Speaker 1: have that personal space with your partner as well. And
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to say the old gossip by your partner, like,
Speaker 1: share your troubles with your partner, but sometimes you just
Speaker 1: need an outside perspective. You don't want to feel like
Speaker 1: you're completely overwhelmed by one person. Yeah. In these situations,
Speaker 1: have you then ever had to draw any boundaries when
Speaker 1: you started dating? Right?
Speaker 2: A person for me, I would never let someone else
Speaker 2: kind of, like, choose for me. So if the person
Speaker 2: I'm seeing or like I'm talking to, she's like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know why you always hang up with, say, article
Speaker 2: or something like that?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, there's no real reason why you should
Speaker 2: be asking that, you know, I would most probably kind
Speaker 2: of like drop and drop that, that person really? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You feel like you're being put in a position
Speaker 1: where you're being made to choose between a relationship and your,
Speaker 1: what you regard as a very close
Speaker 2: friendship. And I think if, for example, my friendship article
Speaker 2: is important to me, I would want to keep that,
Speaker 2: you know, I think it's important to have a balance.
Speaker 2: LA
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ok. I mean, you are not wrong. Like, it's
Speaker 1: always important to have a balance. But
Speaker 1: I'm curious also, let's say you meet the love of
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 2: I love.
Speaker 1: No, no, no. Let's not go to the extent of like,
Speaker 1: I hate whoever but maybe to a certain extent, like,
Speaker 1: is it ok if you spend more time with me
Speaker 1: and a little less time with you because I know
Speaker 1: that you guys spend a whole bunch of time together, right?
Speaker 1: Definitely hang out a lot. So what if it comes
Speaker 1: to like, maybe I want to catch the premiere of
Speaker 1: this movie with you but then you're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: already made plans,
Speaker 2: article got media invite
Speaker 1: or something like that. Would you try to like get
Speaker 1: another ticket for you? Ok. How do you then balance
Speaker 1: that if it's a simple ask of your partner? But
Speaker 1: is it ok if we watch this movie together?
Speaker 2: Because yeah, ok, then I guess in that situation then
Speaker 2: in specific situations where I feel like, yeah, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? You're also important to me, right? If
Speaker 2: you're my partner, if you love in my life, then
Speaker 2: of course, I would wanna do that with you, but
Speaker 2: it shouldn't be like, ok, your life you cannot be
Speaker 2: friends with, of course, but in specific situations, I think
Speaker 2: it's ok.
Speaker 1: So it's ok to ask you to strike a little
Speaker 1: bit of a balance and you wouldn't take any of that.
Speaker 1: I would if she told me that she wanted to
Speaker 1: hang out with you and you have, I'll be, like,
Speaker 1: hang out with her because I don't want her to
Speaker 1: hate me because I want to be her friend. So
Speaker 1: I'd be like,
Speaker 2: yeah, both of us, we are quite like,
Speaker 2: in terms of friendships, we really share our friendship. So
Speaker 2: I think we also want to bring our, like, significant
Speaker 2: others into the friend group. Hopefully, I think we always,
Speaker 2: our friend group, we always try to like in everyone.
Speaker 1: So it's really important to me that my partner meets
Speaker 1: my friends, like my friends
Speaker 1: hangs out with my friends no 100% like an ecosystem, right?
Speaker 1: You can't just like separate lives. So then in that case,
Speaker 1: you know, I've heard of some theories before that men
Speaker 1: and women see friendships with different genders differently. So for example,
Speaker 1: when men go into relationship or friendship with a girl,
Speaker 1: they may see this woman as a potential partner. Is
Speaker 1: that true for you? I
Speaker 2: think there's some context here is that I've always been
Speaker 2: in like classrooms and stuff like that, but the ratio
Speaker 2: is insane like, yeah, so it's way more way more
Speaker 2: girls than guys. So especially when I entered JC, I
Speaker 2: think that was my first time where like maybe like
Speaker 2: five guys in the class and the rest of the Yeah,
Speaker 2: for real. So I had to really adjust into like, OK,
Speaker 2: based on that theory, right? I can't be falling in
Speaker 2: love with everyone. So it's almost like managing, managing that
Speaker 2: kind of like friendships with the opposite sex and I
Speaker 2: feel I've gotten used to it and even in uni
Speaker 2: the ratio was insane. Like our whole school, we would
Speaker 2: have like 20 guys and like the rest of girls
Speaker 2: are hundreds of girls. So you would be in like
Speaker 2: group projects with them, you would be
Speaker 2: eating lunch with them but not necessarily you want, that's
Speaker 2: not like it's not like a potential. Wait,
Speaker 1: what course do you take? Communication media that explains it?
Speaker 1: And you were in arts in JC? Arts in JC? OK.
Speaker 1: So then it shows that it's something that you grew
Speaker 1: into as well. It also the environment that you're in
Speaker 1: that has shaped you and opened you up to a
Speaker 1: friendship like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: for you as well because you were in primarily a
Speaker 1: girl and then, and then I took biology in college
Speaker 1: and so it's all females but it's all female. Biology
Speaker 1: is a female class. Physics will be a male dominated
Speaker 1: class and then I went to communications and then it's
Speaker 1: all female. So I've just been surrounded by females my
Speaker 1: whole life. That's why I don't think I have a
Speaker 1: lot of guy friends and maybe I have like, I
Speaker 1: can off the top of my head. I have like,
Speaker 1: other than you, three more guy friends. So, four
Speaker 1: and they're like, yeah, that's it. I think I have
Speaker 1: more than that. So, so from, from a perspective of
Speaker 1: a woman, then when you look at your male best friends,
Speaker 1: do you see qualities that you may consider good in
Speaker 1: a partner? I mean, I acknowledge like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: you're so sweet. You know, I hope we get a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: you know,
Speaker 1: because you don't have girlfriends right now.
Speaker 2: Always like bugging me about it. Relax. I'm trying to
Speaker 2: be so exciting. What
Speaker 1: exactly are you excited about to have another female in
Speaker 1: our friendship or like, how fun would that be? Right.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it, it's very subjective because I've also
Speaker 1: come across
Speaker 1: people in, back in poly and uni when we were
Speaker 1: all in big groups and stuff, people get alienated because
Speaker 1: of their relationships. They end up having to extract themselves
Speaker 1: from a friend group if there's too many girls there or,
Speaker 1: you know, just, it just becomes a difficult
Speaker 2: situation. I've been in a situation where actually, like, twice. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I wasn't really friends with them. Like, like these
Speaker 2: girls would just be like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, we just know each other, that kind
Speaker 2: of thing and they would like soft block me on Instagram.
Speaker 2: And I will not realize obviously because it's like you
Speaker 2: block and block, right? So we unfollow each other. So,
Speaker 2: and then after a while, like, sh I'm not following
Speaker 2: this person anymore. So I'll ask their friends what happened?
Speaker 2: Did I say something or do something? She was like, oh, no,
Speaker 2: like
Speaker 2: the boyfriend told her to, like, do that to be crazy.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, is it because you think, like, am
Speaker 2: I the problem? But actually, like, when I think about
Speaker 2: it I wasn't even close to the person.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So not even like inner circle level. Right.
Speaker 2: But I don't know, he saw me as a threat,
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: So. Take it as a compliment.
Speaker 2: But, but, yeah, I think it becomes very awkward and
Speaker 2: I don't know how that,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It has happened to me actually one of my closest
Speaker 1: guy friends, but I wouldn't say it's like super close
Speaker 1: with guy friends. It's like you can't be super close.
Speaker 1: Like for me, that guy wasn't like my super, super close,
Speaker 1: but we've been friends for so long that it's a
Speaker 1: very low maintenance friendship and it was just really chill.
Speaker 1: Like I don't, I don't text him every day. I
Speaker 1: text him like once every six months kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So I bumped into him at the MRT and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: you, I won't say his name and then I gave
Speaker 1: him a hug and then he hugged me and his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: she's like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, I didn't even know, I didn't even
Speaker 1: know like I didn't even sense attention. But after that, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened such a long time ago.
Speaker 1: He told me that the girl was so pissed and
Speaker 1: the girl was mad and they saying that I was
Speaker 1: trying to get this guy and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't text him like, I don't even text, I
Speaker 1: don't text your boyfriend who is my friend. I don't
Speaker 1: text him. I don't hang out with him, never hang
Speaker 1: out with him. One on one before only in like
Speaker 1: group settings. And I was like, that's crazy. I was like,
Speaker 1: that's not, that's like so out of the picture. And
Speaker 1: then I went on a trip with this guy and
Speaker 1: was this guy and a couple of other friends and
Speaker 1: then he was sick and I gave him medicine. I
Speaker 1: was like, you have a fever. Here's some medicine.
Speaker 1: The girl was saying her to poison it.
Speaker 1: Ok? And like it's something that trickles down later on
Speaker 1: in a few weeks. I find out like the girlfriend
Speaker 1: thinks I was trying to poison him last week. Oh
Speaker 1: my God. Yeah. I think you crazy be like, girl,
Speaker 1: if I wanna try to poison him, you won't even notice, ok?
Speaker 1: If I was trying to poison him that you wouldn't
Speaker 1: even notice
Speaker 2: what you do, would you want to poison him? But
Speaker 2: if you wanted
Speaker 1: to get with him,
Speaker 1: I didn't think of that. And I was like, what
Speaker 1: is this go on about? And then he unfollowed me
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Oh my God. I didn't feel like I didn't,
Speaker 1: I didn't like I wasn't mad. I wasn't like, oh,
Speaker 1: why is she like that? Like, because I know my
Speaker 1: friendship with him is so chill. It's so, like laid
Speaker 1: back and low maintenance that
Speaker 1: he's gonna come around. Yeah, she might not be around.
Speaker 1: She's gonna leave. I don't have to text him. I
Speaker 1: don't have to like, oh, what's wrong with girlfriend? Like,
Speaker 1: let's work this out. It's not invested. I'm not investing
Speaker 1: this guy as big as my friend. And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's fine. We didn't actually, it was kind of something
Speaker 1: that came up and then we were like, oh l
Speaker 1: and then so in the end he no, they broke
Speaker 1: up and then I was like, you can follow me
Speaker 1: back if you want. If you don't, it's fine. Like
Speaker 1: I don't really,
Speaker 1: it's fine. Like sometimes you just have to accept that
Speaker 1: your guy, friends, girlfriends are gonna be like that and
Speaker 1: they'll come over and
Speaker 2: follow you on Instagram. Just understand is that you
Speaker 1: just having spent the last few minutes with you guys.
Speaker 1: I can tell that that will not happen. Like you're
Speaker 1: gonna be like, that's ridiculous guys. Come on, don't make
Speaker 1: me unfollow like I don't know, but some other people
Speaker 1: have a different way of seeing it. Like this happened
Speaker 1: to one of my friends before
Speaker 1: and she actually went ahead to block or whoever this person,
Speaker 1: but she did contact the person and tell that person like, hey, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I think our friendship runs much deeper than
Speaker 1: social media. So, just ignore the fact that I've had
Speaker 1: to block you or unfollow you whatever and just move on. Like, because,
Speaker 1: you know, we are close enough to know that I
Speaker 1: don't need to know what you're doing on
Speaker 1: or Tik Tok or whatever. Yeah. So, that's, that was
Speaker 1: the way that she dealt with it. I can imagine. Like,
Speaker 1: the boyfriend's, like, block all these guys are like, I'm
Speaker 1: not comfortable with you following these guys and then she
Speaker 1: blocks them, but then she takes them like behind the scene.
Speaker 1: Like actually my boy, we do it like that's bad
Speaker 1: as well. You know what I mean? That really like
Speaker 1: bad on the partner. But if you make it your
Speaker 1: own decision,
Speaker 1: like I chose to do this because I understand why
Speaker 1: my partner might have reasons for feeling uncomfortable. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but it's really once again, situation based situation, speaking of
Speaker 1: situation based, I've got a couple of interesting stories that
Speaker 1: we picked out to see how you would react to
Speaker 1: it and how you feel about these situations. Ok? And
Speaker 1: the very first one, interestingly, I actually have a close
Speaker 1: friend that this exact situation happened to him.
Speaker 1: It's about gift buying. Ok? I don't know if you've
Speaker 1: exchanged gifts with each other a lot or Christmas. Ok.
Speaker 1: So think about the gifts that you guys have exchanged.
Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for purchasing my guy friend? His
Speaker 1: dream birthday present and outshining his girlfriend in the process.
Speaker 1: My guy friend, Tom has been one of my best
Speaker 1: friends since college when our mid twenties now and are
Speaker 1: both currently in committed relationships with long term partners.
Speaker 1: I've never had feelings for Tom and he's never had
Speaker 1: feelings for me either. Ok. Um, since college he's been
Speaker 1: a huge watch fanatic and he was showing me a
Speaker 1: stunning vintage watch and made a side comment. If he
Speaker 1: could have it, he would die of happiness. Coincidentally, I
Speaker 1: actually saw the watch. It was very expensive. Not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: It was over $2000 and then their mid twenties, think
Speaker 1: about that. Ok,
Speaker 1: I decided to get it for his 25th birthday because
Speaker 1: it was 25th birthday and it was $2500. So I
Speaker 1: saw it as fate.
Speaker 1: I do pretty well. So it was something that I
Speaker 1: felt I could personally afford and wanted to buy for
Speaker 1: him knowing how happy he would be.
Speaker 1: However, on the actual birthday, they all opened up the
Speaker 1: gifts and his girlfriend ends up going first and she
Speaker 1: got him a really nice sweater that she crocheted for
Speaker 1: him and a book that he's been wanting, which I
Speaker 1: thought was very thoughtful and lovely. Last of all was
Speaker 1: my gift when he opened it and saw what it was.
Speaker 1: He screamed, jumped over a bunch of people and super
Speaker 1: squeezed me in a huge bear. Hug.
Speaker 1: He also said it was the best gift he has
Speaker 1: ever received. And this whole time his girlfriend was staying
Speaker 1: very quiet. The next day I got a text essentially
Speaker 1: from his girlfriend saying that although it was a very
Speaker 1: thoughtful gift, she felt that it crossed the line and
Speaker 1: it was lacking awareness. What do you guys feel?
Speaker 1: I love you. But I would never spend 2005
Speaker 2: and you're like,
Speaker 1: no, no, no, not $2500. Like, let's say we have 250. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Bring it down like 250 maybe two, maybe $2.50. I
Speaker 1: buy you a coffee from the c I think I
Speaker 1: find it so crazy. No, there's no way she has
Speaker 1: no feelings for the guy,
Speaker 1: right? Ok. Why would you spend 2.5 K? But she's
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship too? Why wouldn't you want to
Speaker 1: spend that 2500 on your? Ok. But what if you
Speaker 1: have
Speaker 2: crazy money? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Ok. So I was thinking about that because this same
Speaker 1: similar situation happened to a close friend of mine. He
Speaker 1: was in a very committed relationship with this girl and
Speaker 1: his friend, very new friend in his life, like less
Speaker 1: than six months, kind of friend. But two circumstances they've
Speaker 1: had to get closer,
Speaker 1: got him like a extravagant gift. But it was something
Speaker 1: that he wanted related to gaming. Ok. And his partner,
Speaker 1: his girlfriend back then. Apparently was trying to save up
Speaker 1: to buy it, but that new friend kind of bought
Speaker 1: it for him instead. Good for her then. And she
Speaker 1: was so, I mean that the girlfriend was really unhappy
Speaker 1: about it and felt like it was crossing the line.
Speaker 1: That's tough. So however
Speaker 1: back to it, maybe the person has crazy money and
Speaker 1: then to that person 2005 may not mean anything
Speaker 2: to me. I think this is all about like, obviously
Speaker 2: this one event didn't trigger the tension, right? It could
Speaker 2: be a serious, like, undergirding, the tension is already building
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. I feel like if I had
Speaker 2: crazy money,
Speaker 2: I like, I buy something. I'm like, bro, you get
Speaker 2: stuff as well. It's a package deal. Like this is
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, like in theory, it's like you manage
Speaker 2: the friendship in a way that doesn't seem like it's exclusive.
Speaker 2: It's together like you're also my friend. I just wanna, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right. So I think what I noticed in my friends,
Speaker 1: sometimes they will buy a gift that my partner and
Speaker 1: I can use or can share. So then it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem so like
Speaker 1: that'd be nice. Yeah. Yeah. But no, none of my
Speaker 1: friends have ever spent $2500. Ever. I don't think ever.
Speaker 1: I cannot come. Yeah. But I think it's fair that
Speaker 1: the girlfriend was upset, right? But sometimes you just, I
Speaker 1: guess the girlfriend should understand or like, should have this
Speaker 1: prior knowledge. Maybe the guy has crazy money. So it
Speaker 1: wouldn't be, or the girl has crazy money. So it
Speaker 1: wouldn't be so crazy
Speaker 1: for her to like it's relative. Ok, hold on. But
Speaker 1: if I were the, in that situation, if I were
Speaker 1: the girl that wanted to spend 2.5 on the watch,
Speaker 1: I would, I might talk to, I might tell a
Speaker 1: girlfriend first and I'd be like, hey, I'm to get this.
Speaker 1: Do you want to get, like, chip in or get
Speaker 1: it together? I don't know. That would be great to
Speaker 1: be like, less awkward. Right. And they opened it in
Speaker 1: front of everyone.
Speaker 2: And also if the girlfriend didn't know that he really
Speaker 2: wanted that watch even more awkward because it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't even know what my boyfriend wants, that kind of thing. Exactly.
Speaker 1: It's awkward all around. I have to say. Now the
Speaker 1: next one is here we go. Am I the asshole
Speaker 1: for telling my boyfriend and his female best friend to
Speaker 1: hang out less frequently? My extroverted boyfriend and his best
Speaker 1: friend have been friends years before I had met him.
Speaker 1: They've always been platonically close and actually the girl and
Speaker 1: I were roommates for three months when my boyfriend was away.
Speaker 1: Lady has been spending his Saturday afternoons having brunch with
Speaker 1: her four Saturdays in a row. Now they catch up
Speaker 1: and he tells her things that he can't tell me
Speaker 1: because he says I sound judgy, which could be true.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been living together for two
Speaker 1: years now and our weekday nights are just dinner and TV.
Speaker 1: Since we're too tired from our daytime jobs, we barely
Speaker 1: have any daytime activities because after their Saturday brunch, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I go out with friends in the evening
Speaker 1: and by the time it's Sunday we probably usually have
Speaker 1: a hangover or we're doing chores.
Speaker 1: I'm also uncomfortable with them having so many pictures together
Speaker 1: of arms around the shoulder or side hugs. I've said
Speaker 1: before that I don't want to see him post that
Speaker 1: out of respect for me. He assured me that they
Speaker 1: are more like siblings and he would never be attracted
Speaker 1: to her in a romantic way.
Speaker 1: I can see that they're not flirty and I believe
Speaker 1: that they're platonic. I found out from a friend that
Speaker 1: he has posted a side hug picture that he hid
Speaker 1: from me from viewing it. Now, I've shown my jealousy
Speaker 1: about this to my boyfriend and he says he's tired
Speaker 1: of the same argument and having to reassure me, but
Speaker 1: it's important to know that my insecurity also comes from
Speaker 1: knowing that my friend broke up with his girlfriend of
Speaker 1: two years and after three months is now together with
Speaker 1: his female best friend. So what do you guys think
Speaker 1: about a couple things to unpack?
Speaker 2: I would never even like, I don't know what we
Speaker 2: take what is like that and like,
Speaker 1: I guess maybe like that I like, but it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be like, oh my God.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. And for the fact that he had the
Speaker 2: photos
Speaker 1: that's really bad. If you have nothing to hide, then
Speaker 1: you should, maybe he's just tired of having the same argument,
Speaker 1: but it's so bad. It's still such a bad look.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. And you know what, we always
Speaker 1: find out female interaction. If we want to find out
Speaker 1: something we will. Yeah. Just, just give us 10 minutes.
Speaker 1: We're on it. So in this case, then do you
Speaker 1: think that her feelings are valid or is she projecting
Speaker 1: like what she's seeing in other situations? And she's wondering
Speaker 1: whether it could be the same
Speaker 1: in her situation? Why are they going out for brunch
Speaker 1: without her though? Yeah. Yeah. So that's like, that's so weird.
Speaker 1: You have a girlfriend? You're living like the consecutive weekend? Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's so weird. I would be like, oh, I'm going
Speaker 1: out with her, come with like I would even be like,
Speaker 1: do you want to come? I'll be like, come with. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I guess the added context that we have while
Speaker 2: we were in school was that we would meet and
Speaker 2: then we would go to study or like there was
Speaker 2: a reason to meet. So I think now that we
Speaker 2: are out of school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, completely. Like we would invite, you know, it's an
Speaker 2: open invite. Like if we were to hang out. It's like,
Speaker 1: always an open invite and I don't think we've ever
Speaker 1: hung out and been like, oh, don't I want to
Speaker 1: just hang out with her. Yeah. That's 11. No, actually,
Speaker 1: sometimes I've had situations where one of my close male
Speaker 1: friends is, like, I actually just want to hang out
Speaker 1: and talk to you one on one because he has
Speaker 1: something that he wants to share or talk about. Maybe
Speaker 1: that he doesn't want
Speaker 1: my partner to know about them. Not that there's anything
Speaker 1: got to do with him at all. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's ok. That's fair. If you're like, my friend wants
Speaker 1: to tell me something about it, something private, then that's fine.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be like, for
Speaker 2: example, like if, say, like I had some family issues
Speaker 2: that I need to work out and about and for
Speaker 2: if the situation is that I'm not too close with
Speaker 2: her boyfriend, then, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I, ok, so I have a story
Speaker 1: to share. I came into this situation before
Speaker 1: it was a complete misunderstanding. But I used to have
Speaker 1: this very close guy friend that I got to know
Speaker 1: from like partying and stuff. Like we didn't grow up together. Nothing,
Speaker 1: not from school or whatever, but we just kind of
Speaker 1: clicked and got to know each other. And at that
Speaker 1: time he was having some problems with his then girlfriend
Speaker 1: and he would confide in me about it because he
Speaker 1: couldn't confide anyone else in his friend group because that
Speaker 1: girl is in the friend group as well.
Speaker 1: So the only other person he could talk to about
Speaker 1: it and he wanted a female perspective was me.
Speaker 1: So at the time I was dating this guy that
Speaker 1: was a little insecure about certain things. But I think
Speaker 1: it was, it was, it was a little odd because
Speaker 1: one of the nights he said, hey, I really need
Speaker 1: to chat. Can we go for dinner? You know? So
Speaker 1: I said, ok, we went out chatted and I told
Speaker 1: my partner about it.
Speaker 1: But that very night I ended up staying out till
Speaker 1: like 2:03 a.m. just spontaneous night kind of thing. The
Speaker 1: very next day he texted me and said telegram secret
Speaker 1: Chat now and it was on whatsapp. I know it
Speaker 1: sounds a bit s right. But he was basically telling
Speaker 1: me an update about the girl situation that he had.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, my partner saw everything on my phone like he
Speaker 1: read everything on my phone. Like he's like he looked into, yeah, ok.
Speaker 1: He logged into my phone. But because he's always not,
Speaker 1: apparently I found out later. He's never been a fan
Speaker 1: of that guy and he always felt like s about
Speaker 1: this guy. So he longed my phone, read it and
Speaker 1: he saw the messages like, oh no telegraph secret chat
Speaker 1: now and all that. It just looks so bad. It
Speaker 1: looks so bad.
Speaker 1: But in actual fact, like the secret chat, which I
Speaker 1: wish wasn't a self, there wasn't a self destruct timer
Speaker 1: because there was a self destruct timer. And then it
Speaker 1: looked even worse. So he didn't even read the, he
Speaker 1: even read the context, but it just looked very bad. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And regardless it ended very badly. So I just find
Speaker 1: it so crazy when someone looks into your phone, that's
Speaker 1: such a crazy thing. I know. I know. But I
Speaker 1: guess maybe if you have a gut feeling or you feel,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Not that it's justified. But if you want,
Speaker 1: look into your partner's phone, you have to be like 100%.
Speaker 1: Your partner is cheating on you. Like doing something 100%
Speaker 1: ever since that incident. I was like, wow, I cannot
Speaker 1: have these very suspicious. I mean, look, if I give
Speaker 1: my partner a reason to feel this way, I also
Speaker 1: feel that maybe I could have done something better. Ok.
Speaker 1: So this is the last scenario. Tell me what you think.
Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for not wanting my fiance's best
Speaker 1: friend
Speaker 1: to be his best man at our wedding. My fiance
Speaker 1: and I recently got engaged amongst a small circle of
Speaker 1: close friends and family. His best friend said something along
Speaker 1: the lines of I have to make time in my
Speaker 1: schedule to be a best man and this hasn't really
Speaker 1: left my mind since my issue is the following my
Speaker 1: fiance is bisexual.
Speaker 1: Now, these two friends, they weren't dating or romantically involved,
Speaker 1: but they've had sex though. They've not, since before we met.
Speaker 1: I'm not jealous of their friendship and I normally get
Speaker 1: along fine with his best friend. However, him having someone
Speaker 1: at the wedding, a man no less that he slept with,
Speaker 1: makes me feel uneasy. I really don't know if I'm
Speaker 1: comfortable with him attending. Much less stand up there with
Speaker 1: us as we get married. Ok. Friends. What do we
Speaker 2: think is basically, like, having
Speaker 2: and your partners FWB
Speaker 1: the b, the, like, made of honor or something? Ok. Wow.
Speaker 1: There's a lot, there's a lot that, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I would be, I don't know, I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: comfortable now, there would be something I would be very
Speaker 1: uncomfortable
Speaker 2: with. Yeah. I think
Speaker 2: I always say this but it's like, it depends on
Speaker 2: their relationship, like, at that point. But also, you know what? Uncomfortable?
Speaker 2: So they had. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Like,
Speaker 1: it's just so bad. Like, I don't
Speaker 2: know. It makes
Speaker 1: me, it makes you uncomfortable. Right. Yeah, I, I agree. I, 100% agree.
Speaker 1: But
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to having, like, an intimate
Speaker 1: encounter before or sexual relationship in the past, do you
Speaker 1: maintain friendships with any one of these people in your life? No, never. No.
Speaker 1: It's odd you feel, yeah.
Speaker 2: It's either like after that you become, like, romantically involved or, like,
Speaker 2: by a bit awkward to be, like, just friends. Yeah. I,
Speaker 1: I don't think we gonna bring this up. Like, I
Speaker 1: don't think you can be friends with your ex.
Speaker 1: Ok. This is another topic all together, I think. Like,
Speaker 1: it's so, it's just so much, there was a point
Speaker 1: in your life where that person was like, someone special
Speaker 1: and then to bring that now, like, so it is
Speaker 1: gonna be so, it's too, it's too much. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Actually come to think of it. I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't know anyone that I've, you know, slept with
Speaker 1: or anything that's in my inner circle of friends. Right. No,
Speaker 1: not at all, actually.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I think the chemical reaction in the brain
Speaker 2: that happens.
Speaker 1: But do you think friends can be platonic after they've
Speaker 1: done something like that? I never thought they could be, like,
Speaker 1: at the same time, like, you can't be friends with
Speaker 1: your ex. But at the same time I do acknowledge
Speaker 1: I have a friend who's, who had a really close,
Speaker 1: was in a relationship for a year and then she's
Speaker 1: really close with him now as a friend, but it's
Speaker 1: so platonic and I was like, how do you do that?
Speaker 1: But then I see the relationship and I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's actually really platonic. Or maybe it's like she's seen everything.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's experienced it and she's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is definitely not what I want. She got
Speaker 2: the somewhere she got the e
Speaker 1: exactly. Could be. So, I'm like, that's actually also
Speaker 2: your friends. I think we, we giving each other the
Speaker 2: egg also.
Speaker 1: I need to know.
Speaker 1: So,
Speaker 2: what is, what is the, I should know about this.
Speaker 2: I know. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say any eggs because I have so many. Oh,
Speaker 1: my God, because you're my friend. I mean, obviously like
Speaker 1: your friends give you an egg. That's why you're not
Speaker 1: your friend.
Speaker 1: You know, your friends are like
Speaker 2: what I want to be in the market. Your friends,
Speaker 2: your
Speaker 1: friends, your friends are never like that kind of sexy
Speaker 1: to you. No, no, that's why they're friends.
Speaker 2: But she replied my story yesterday and she was like,
Speaker 2: oh hello? Oh
Speaker 1: my God.
Speaker 2: I replied, I was like, we have to keep it
Speaker 2: platonic for the podcast.
Speaker 1: Now we need screenshots of hyping you up. OK? So
Speaker 1: it's the hype. It's not the, I actually think that
Speaker 1: you're with me as well if you're dressed well, I'm like, hey, OK,
Speaker 1: wait girls do that with each other though. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: So we would always be like, you know, girls, girls,
Speaker 1: I realize we always like you are so hot today.
Speaker 1: You are doing Instagram
Speaker 2: comments go crazy when I post nothing. It's like,
Speaker 1: sorry, I can't show it.
Speaker 1: No, II, I probably hype you up in your comment
Speaker 1: section
Speaker 2: for girls in the comment section. Always go crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, for sure. Like because we want to show
Speaker 1: love and support, you know, it could be
Speaker 2: a picture of this guy and she's like, and they'll
Speaker 2: be like, photography.
Speaker 1: I popped on with that.
Speaker 1: Ok. So to wrap it all up, do you then
Speaker 1: feel that your friendship should change with relationships, I guess? No. Right. No.
Speaker 1: Or a little bit like whenever someone new enters your life,
Speaker 1: your dynamics gonna change, there will be adjustments, there will
Speaker 1: be a adjustments and judgments, judgments, adjustment and sometimes like,
Speaker 1: you know, you lose friends along the way. I think
Speaker 1: it's so normal to lose friends and gain more friends. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's almost like, I think life is never like that. Right.
Speaker 2: You're not going to be the same friends that you
Speaker 2: had in like preschool and stuff. It's always changing. So
Speaker 2: I think as you grow older also, like the situation
Speaker 2: also changes also. Now we're not in school. So actually
Speaker 2: we see each other less often. Yeah. So then,
Speaker 2: yeah, you know, and then our friendship also changes, but
Speaker 2: I think it's just about like going through it and
Speaker 2: not like trying to force anything also, whatever feels natural
Speaker 2: because
Speaker 1: obviously when you have someone special in your life, you're
Speaker 1: gonna spend more time with that person and you're gonna
Speaker 1: dedicate the time to nurture your relationship and that's gonna,
Speaker 1: you have to forgo some things and naturally it would be,
Speaker 1: I guess your friendships,
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: all the friends I've been with once they got in
Speaker 1: a relationship, like they take a little bit of a
Speaker 1: step back. So there's a moment where you slip off
Speaker 1: the face of the earth and I completely understand that
Speaker 1: because you want, you meet someone new and you want,
Speaker 1: you want to see them all the time, you want
Speaker 1: to get to know them and you want to be
Speaker 1: in that bubble like that's fair. On that note. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is just a side note but also I've had
Speaker 1: close friends, you know, where our friendship changes because also
Speaker 1: some of us
Speaker 1: get into relationships and then some of them stay single,
Speaker 1: then the dynamic kind of changes because the single ones
Speaker 1: would still want a party a lot or. Yes. Exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, and it's just something that you have to
Speaker 1: adjust to, you know, and if I, and I know
Speaker 1: that I used to tell my partner I was uncomfortable
Speaker 1: about this one girl that he was quite kind of
Speaker 1: close to because she was sending him a lot of,
Speaker 1: like gym selfies in. She was sending
Speaker 2: even, she doesn't send me gym. So, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. So I, yeah. Ok. That's kind of weird.
Speaker 1: You be like, pop off,
Speaker 1: do you like nice background?
Speaker 2: Like the sky looks amazing. Where are you? Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, I mean, that was just a side note
Speaker 1: but that's crazy. But anyway, actually we're cool now and
Speaker 1: we're all friends now. I think, I don't know whether
Speaker 1: she was just going through it. Maybe she really liked
Speaker 1: that sports bra. I don't know. She just really like
Speaker 1: the outfit like, yeah, guys. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: being with me on this episode. I had so much
Speaker 1: fun
Speaker 1: and hopefully you guys did great for those of you
Speaker 1: who are tuning in. Thank you so much for listening
Speaker 1: to this episode of men. Explain if you enjoyed it,
Speaker 1: please hit the follow button. We're on Spotify and Apple
Speaker 1: Podcast and don't forget to follow us on Instagram and tiktok.
Speaker 1: That's at its clarity.co and we'll catch you next time.