Speaker 1: Hi. So I'm Jermaine and welcome back to another episode
Speaker 1: of Clev hash.
Speaker 1: So today we're going to discuss something that is not
Speaker 1: talked about as often as usual. What play friendships, work,
Speaker 2: play friendships like this. Let me just establish first that
Speaker 2: we're not friends. We're just coworkers.
Speaker 1: Colleagues only. Yeah. So sad.
Speaker 1: Ok. Seriously though. Do you think we are friends or
Speaker 1: just colleagues? Three of us?
Speaker 2: No, I, I don't really like them.
Speaker 2: I do. No, we definitely friends. I think when we
Speaker 2: first started we were colleagues. That's right. We were coworkers.
Speaker 2: We knew each other only within work
Speaker 1: in the office. So, how would you categorize friends versus colleagues?
Speaker 2: Friends are people that you met at work that you
Speaker 2: actually will genuinely meet outside of work? Ok. And even
Speaker 2: if you quit your job or don't work at the
Speaker 2: same place anymore, you still stay friends like that. You
Speaker 2: genuinely enjoy the company and you appreciate them as people
Speaker 2: and you don't try to get them fired.
Speaker 2: Exactly. You mean we try to get our coworkers for
Speaker 2: it
Speaker 1: more about that later. But I feel like for friends
Speaker 1: you actually tell them personal stuff, like you let them
Speaker 1: in on your personal life. Whereas for colleagues, you draw
Speaker 1: a very clear boundary work is work and then after work,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't talk to the next day you
Speaker 1: come back to work.
Speaker 2: Actually, I have an issue here. I have an issue
Speaker 2: in drawing lines because I'm an open book. OK.
Speaker 2: Art class. Huh? Sorry can send me. Yeah. Um I'm
Speaker 2: an open book and I'm just very honest that way.
Speaker 2: Like if I thought that I thought, you know. Right.
Speaker 2: But I think, because there are people who draw lines
Speaker 2: very clearly. So that's a little bit scary because to
Speaker 2: me it's like, oh, friends are like, why can't we
Speaker 2: be friends? Right. We can't be
Speaker 1: friends. But there really are people who think that way.
Speaker 1: Maybe they are introverts at heart and they don't feel
Speaker 1: comfortable sharing so much with their colleagues. You know what
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: remember very clearly. I think it's Wong saying this about Zoete.
Speaker 2: I think this is years ago. I think she said
Speaker 2: something like we're not friends, we're colleagues. How do you
Speaker 2: even know that? I have a lot of useless information
Speaker 2: in my brain. Wow. I mean, that's, you know, it's
Speaker 2: one thing to feel it, it's another thing to make
Speaker 2: a statement to the media
Speaker 2: saying we're just friends, right? Do you think that's hurtful?
Speaker 2: Of course, it's helpful. If anything, I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people in the media um in our industry, look
Speaker 2: like their friends, but they are just coworkers,
Speaker 1: right? But there's a need to sort of pull up
Speaker 1: like a facade, right? That we are very close and
Speaker 1: we hang out together very often. So workplace friendships of course,
Speaker 1: comes with both pros and cons. On the positive side,
Speaker 1: it enhances job satisfaction. It promotes a positive work culture
Speaker 1: and also
Speaker 1: can lead to increased teamwork. I like this. Yeah. But
Speaker 1: on the other hand, there are some potential drawbacks, for example,
Speaker 1: bias conflicts of interest, favoritism. These are all like very
Speaker 1: sensitive topics. So we all feel like three of us,
Speaker 1: we are friends. But how about I zoom out and
Speaker 1: let's look at the bigger picture. Do you think you
Speaker 1: are friends with your radio partners respectively? So for G
Speaker 1: with Avery for
Speaker 2: Oh OK. OK. It's us, you go first. It 100%.
Speaker 2: We're definitely friends. I feel like he keeps me sane
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, he's probably the
Speaker 2: person I see the most, you know, I said his
Speaker 2: face for four hours every single day. There's no one
Speaker 2: else that I see for four hours every single day. OK.
Speaker 2: He has a nice face
Speaker 2: sometimes I want to smack. But I think because of
Speaker 2: the nature of our job as well, it's a very
Speaker 2: emotionally driven job of which our job is literally to
Speaker 2: entertain people and to be happy, right? But we're not
Speaker 2: happy all the time. So is my first point of
Speaker 2: release for
Speaker 1: him. I
Speaker 2: come in, I cry, I come in, I curse, I
Speaker 2: come in, I scream, I come in, I sing it down.
Speaker 2: If you need help, blink twice, we will come and
Speaker 2: save you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like they genuinely friends, genuinely friends and because we
Speaker 2: feed off each other, um his, his biggest fear is
Speaker 2: getting mad and losing it. So when that happens to him,
Speaker 2: he'll look for me to balance things out and like,
Speaker 2: calm down. Right. I think we feed off each other
Speaker 2: that
Speaker 1: way. I think this is true because there was one
Speaker 1: time I saw in the lift and then we were
Speaker 1: talking about your trip. Oh, just came back from overseas. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then he was
Speaker 1: like, yeah, she sent me some photos of a concert.
Speaker 1: I was so envious and I'm like, wow, you guys
Speaker 1: must be really close for you to send photos of
Speaker 1: your trip to him while you're overseas. And I really
Speaker 1: like that. Oh, this sounds like something that would do
Speaker 1: to Avery as well. Oh,
Speaker 2: yeah. Actually, recently I haven't been doing that but he
Speaker 2: told me that when he went to South Africa, he
Speaker 2: would send me tell and he didn't. So we're not
Speaker 2: friends anymore. No. But of course, as you know, Avery
Speaker 2: has been here before,
Speaker 2: um, I think in the one year that we've worked together,
Speaker 2: we've developed a close friendship outside of work and a
Speaker 2: lot of people are surprised to know that we only
Speaker 2: knew each other, knew of each other like a year
Speaker 2: ago or got to meet because before that we weren't friends,
Speaker 2: we weren't even acquaintances. I didn't know, I barely knew
Speaker 2: his last name or his first name. In fact, um,
Speaker 2: but like last week I just took his mom out
Speaker 2: for birthday lunch. So. Right. I think she loves me
Speaker 2: more than she loves him.
Speaker 2: Can confirm that a problem. No. Ok. Thank you. Not
Speaker 2: hard to. Yeah. No, but she's very sweet and you know,
Speaker 2: I met his, most of his family members as well.
Speaker 2: That's another level. Ok. Is it too much? No, I
Speaker 2: think sweet. But actually now that she's mentioned that I
Speaker 2: realized that funny and I don't hang out out of work,
Speaker 2: but maybe, maybe you can be friends without hanging out.
Speaker 2: Correct. Correct. We're definitely friends, but it's just, I guess
Speaker 2: family commitments. Um, he has a family of which he
Speaker 2: doesn't have very much time with. So any time that
Speaker 2: he has is for
Speaker 1: them, this leads me to think about my relationship with
Speaker 1: my radio co-host. So, like you and we don't hang
Speaker 1: out outside of work. Ok. But we have a very
Speaker 1: sort of clear
Speaker 1: in between us. I guess this has got to do
Speaker 1: with the fact that he is a bit more of
Speaker 1: an introvert. He, he actually is an introvert guy but
Speaker 1: he shares a lot of himself, like on air and
Speaker 1: on his Instagram stories. And I find that these two
Speaker 1: points are the two platforms where I get to know
Speaker 1: most about him. Oh, his social media. Yeah. His social
Speaker 1: media and the stuff that he shares about online
Speaker 1: when we are on air in between songs, we are
Speaker 1: usually just busy looking for news to talk about. We hardly, yeah,
Speaker 1: actually we hardly communicate about our personal lives. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that we are not friends, you know? But when
Speaker 1: we meet outside of work, it's usually with our colleagues,
Speaker 1: like all of our evening drive time team
Speaker 1: getting together, sitting down for a meal. So, would you
Speaker 2: make plans with, like, on a random Saturday just to
Speaker 2: go out for lunch?
Speaker 1: I don't think you will say yes, I would say
Speaker 2: try, try. Ok, so the lines are blurred, right? It's
Speaker 2: not necessarily like if you don't meet outside of work,
Speaker 2: you're not friends or anything like that or you're just colleagues.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But he's such a nice person. I find that
Speaker 1: our relationship is more of like a one way thing.
Speaker 1: Like I'm always telling him about my emotions my day,
Speaker 1: what I saw but he, he usually keeps his, like
Speaker 1: emotions to himself. He never ask because if he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to say, I don't want to seem like I'm
Speaker 1: probing or like invading in his personal space. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Let's respect that person. I think it
Speaker 1: is good to.
Speaker 1: So Yeah, workplace friendships. It has its complications. But I
Speaker 1: do say I prefer being friends with my colleagues. What
Speaker 2: if it's a friend that you met? Like, let's say,
Speaker 2: you know, this person from school? Right. And then you
Speaker 2: guys were friends and now your colleagues.
Speaker 1: But isn't it even better? It's better. Right. Right. Like
Speaker 1: people I met from the competition? Oh, from, we have,
Speaker 1: we have,
Speaker 1: we were actually friends first before colleagues. Right. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: I find that there's a different bond between us compared to,
Speaker 1: like the rest of the DJ s because we actually
Speaker 1: went through things together.
Speaker 2: Right. I like it too. I feel like there's no
Speaker 2: harm in that. But I think I've seen firsthand sometimes how,
Speaker 2: maybe some people are not fond of it. Right. And
Speaker 2: I think
Speaker 2: maybe because we feel like it doesn't get in the
Speaker 2: way of work. You know what I mean? But I
Speaker 2: think there are some people out there who are a
Speaker 2: little bit more. I will not let anything get in
Speaker 2: the way of me and work. They are a little
Speaker 2: bit more driven of which not say driven, but maybe
Speaker 2: some people just would do anything to get whatever they want. Oh,
Speaker 2: that sounds very malicious. Like, like some backstabbing. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: can imagine there are those kind of things happening. Right.
Speaker 2: You know, where
Speaker 2: people are a little bit more competitive of which you're
Speaker 2: not a friend, you're a competition. I'm here to take
Speaker 2: care of myself
Speaker 1: and myself. Actually, here's a story from our PD before
Speaker 1: she joined the workforce. She was warned by some of
Speaker 1: her seniors about backstabbing colleagues. So they say things like
Speaker 1: your colleagues are not your
Speaker 1: up until today. She still hears the same sentence from
Speaker 1: close friends during meetups when they are complaining about work.
Speaker 1: And you know what? Actually before I stepped to the
Speaker 1: media Corp, I've heard a lot about how in the
Speaker 1: media industry, not just Singapore, like in general. Right? There's
Speaker 1: a lot of politics, there's a lot of backstabbing,
Speaker 1: but I find that that's not the case in radio
Speaker 1: at least. But I
Speaker 2: think people that speak on something that they don't know
Speaker 2: anything about, you know, they would just make assumptions, right?
Speaker 2: I do truly believe that you can be friends with
Speaker 2: your colleagues, but I think you have to pick them. Well,
Speaker 2: you can't just be friends with anyone,
Speaker 1: right? But how do you do this picking then
Speaker 2: analyze that character? Yeah. Don't be like a and then
Speaker 2: just pour your heart out within a month of knowing them.
Speaker 2: Wait and see if they can be trusted or not
Speaker 2: because sometimes they give you like a faint sense of
Speaker 2: trust like
Speaker 2: um I'll give you an example. OK. So I have
Speaker 2: a close friend, um she joined a company and she
Speaker 2: has this colleague who's like maybe about 20 something years
Speaker 2: older than her. So her colleague's daughter and and her
Speaker 2: are the same age. So she sees this colleague a
Speaker 2: bit like a mother figure, you know, very maternal, very sweet.
Speaker 2: So over the course of like a month, she started
Speaker 2: to confide in this person about her own personal life,
Speaker 2: about her own mother, her family, you know, her, her
Speaker 2: personal issues and problems
Speaker 2: turns out two months later, this colleague's daughter had been
Speaker 2: spreading all of this private information to people, right? And
Speaker 2: it got back to my friend because their daughter, the
Speaker 2: daughter is the same age as her. So they have
Speaker 2: common friends, they have mutual friends. So her mutual friends
Speaker 2: came to her and said, hey, do you have a
Speaker 2: colleague called? So and so because her daughter just told
Speaker 2: me that you da da da da da did this
Speaker 2: and did that and you're going to be fired, your
Speaker 2: reputation is so bad
Speaker 2: and stuff. Yeah, it came from the daughter. So the
Speaker 2: mother bitch to the daughter, daughter, bitch to the friends
Speaker 2: got back to her. So which is a bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So
Speaker 1: it is the mother of the daughter both because a
Speaker 2: case of I'm not supposed to tell anyone hazy but
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you. Ok. No, as in from
Speaker 2: the mother to the daughter. Yes, still, still still. I mean,
Speaker 2: this could really hurt someone's reputation, it defamation.
Speaker 2: So be careful who you trust even though they may
Speaker 2: seem like a mother figure to you.
Speaker 1: But I I feel like when your colleagues speak to you,
Speaker 1: you already can have a good sense of how they are. Like,
Speaker 1: I've met someone in my ex workplace, like she seemed
Speaker 1: very nice. But then like after one week of talking
Speaker 1: to her, she started bitching about other colleagues, like mutual
Speaker 1: colleagues that we had. So that's when I know, ok,
Speaker 1: maybe I should stay away from this person. I think
Speaker 2: that's a sign or something like
Speaker 2: you should look out for and stay away from because
Speaker 2: if they can bitch for other people, they can bitch
Speaker 2: by you. Exactly. Ok. But let me flip it around.
Speaker 2: Let's just say, I mean your friends, ok, you've become
Speaker 2: friends in the workplace and then you guys, you know,
Speaker 2: as a group talk bad about other people that has
Speaker 2: happened before or not talk bad. I would say just
Speaker 2: discuss gossip, gossip about other people.
Speaker 1: I think that's fine but not within
Speaker 1: one week of knowing each other. Oh,
Speaker 2: maybe the difference is that you're talking about it in
Speaker 2: that safe space that you've created as friends as compared
Speaker 2: to just now where this person was going around,
Speaker 1: right? Oh Yeah, I think the amount of time that
Speaker 1: you spent together and where you are actually discussing these topics,
Speaker 1: they actually matter, say like a chill night out like
Speaker 1: just a couple of friends
Speaker 1: over some drinks. Then I feel like fine, it's OK
Speaker 1: to like talk about it, whatever is said there remains
Speaker 1: there but not like over lunch at a crowded,
Speaker 2: when you just got to
Speaker 1: know, you just got to know this person is your
Speaker 1: like first time hanging out with this person
Speaker 2: because if you are like real friends and like sharing
Speaker 2: your emotions kind of thing, that's like seeking for comfort,
Speaker 2: trauma bonding. I love that for you.
Speaker 1: But of course, we have cases where we have some colleagues,
Speaker 1: then slowly they upgrade to being friends, right? So how
Speaker 1: do you know when you know this person is no
Speaker 1: longer a colleague but a friend, like I think was
Speaker 1: this case for me, we we weren't particularly close during
Speaker 1: the competition but after that, when he joined and we
Speaker 1: were paired up in the Night Belt together, we were
Speaker 1: first colleagues. I was like, oh man, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I can get together with like get along well
Speaker 1: with this person.
Speaker 1: But then after that, we became such good friends that
Speaker 1: we actually would meet up outside
Speaker 2: of work. I just think you can sense the chemistry
Speaker 2: with a friend because even with you and like from us,
Speaker 2: watching from the outside, I could tell that you genuinely
Speaker 2: enjoyed spending time with him, you know,
Speaker 2: Tik Toks with him doing videos and photos with him
Speaker 2: and and he's someone that you look like you would
Speaker 2: confide in. So I think when you have that sense
Speaker 2: of trust outside of work, that's when you know you've
Speaker 2: been upgraded to a friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a nice feeling actually. Thank you
Speaker 2: for it. I think at the end of the day also,
Speaker 2: maybe it takes all these individuals who are gonna be
Speaker 2: friends to understand that my job is my job and
Speaker 2: my work is my work. Right. And, you know, that
Speaker 2: has nothing to do with the friendship. So no one
Speaker 2: can see as competition or a threat or, you know,
Speaker 2: that I'm gonna throw you under the bus, the level
Speaker 2: of upgrade. Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think this is what our producer, Ann used
Speaker 1: to think she doesn't believe in turning colleagues into friends,
Speaker 1: but she became friends with a former coworker. So they
Speaker 1: actually met a month before our producer, quit her old
Speaker 1: job and this person was a new intern. So our
Speaker 1: producer was a senior there. So they have this like hierarchy, right?
Speaker 1: Senior junior, she was there to train her, the intern
Speaker 1: was there to learn
Speaker 1: so soon after our producer left that job, they lost
Speaker 1: touch but somehow they reconnected via Instagram months later and then, er,
Speaker 1: the intern suggested a meet up. So they met up
Speaker 1: and now they are very, very close friends today. But
Speaker 1: do you
Speaker 2: think that it's because they reconnected after leaving the job?
Speaker 2: That's why they got closer. I believe
Speaker 1: there's a huge reason why
Speaker 2: if they were senior and intern at that job, I
Speaker 2: don't think they could have gotten that close
Speaker 2: because really, I mean, not even like your boss, right?
Speaker 2: But someone way more senior than you. Have you ever
Speaker 2: really been able to be like true friends with them
Speaker 2: outside of work? They are still your colleagues but they're
Speaker 2: not at the same level as you, I think you
Speaker 2: could be friends. But the hesitation there would be in
Speaker 2: the event that the senior has to tell you off
Speaker 2: or let's say you get really close or like fire
Speaker 2: you and you,
Speaker 2: you guys are friends. Yeah, it is. That has happened. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So don't be friends with your boss. They might have
Speaker 2: to fire you one day. But if you
Speaker 1: were true friends, would you be able to understand where
Speaker 1: he's coming from? The fact that he had to fire
Speaker 2: you? Yes, because it has nothing to do with the friendship.
Speaker 2: You can't expect that fella to save your ass just
Speaker 2: because that fella is your friend. That's a bias. But
Speaker 2: my ego would not allow me to be friends with
Speaker 2: the person moving on from that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's very like, embarrassing to be fired by your friend.
Speaker 2: If anyone has such a story or experience, can you
Speaker 2: share with us?
Speaker 1: Very juicy. Yeah. But what if moving on, he helps
Speaker 1: you find another job to sort of like salvage himself,
Speaker 2: right. As a friend. Yeah. That's sweet. I think that's
Speaker 2: a nice, he doesn't have to. Right. I'm just being
Speaker 2: petty but not.
Speaker 2: Yeah. That fired me. Right. Christian G, you have had
Speaker 2: to fire people. Will you have a friend to any
Speaker 2: of them? I draw a very, very clear line at,
Speaker 2: you know, obviously not in the media because I don't
Speaker 2: have to fire anybody in the media. But I draw
Speaker 2: a very clear line at other things that I do.
Speaker 2: I see them all as, you know, coworkers and II,
Speaker 2: I don't want to have any bias or favor.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that, you know, they were friends. Anyone
Speaker 2: I've had to fire because it just, it just gets complicated.
Speaker 2: I prefer to keep it professional because it's a lot
Speaker 2: easier also to, you know, um, get the team going
Speaker 2: when you're not like all chummy, chummy is friends. They
Speaker 2: can be friends. I'm more than happy for them to
Speaker 2: have because they see each other every day. Spend so
Speaker 2: much time with each other
Speaker 2: for me to be friends with them. It complicates matters.
Speaker 2: But you sit down, have lunch sometimes and stuff like that. So,
Speaker 2: in these settings, what do you talk about? If it's
Speaker 2: not personal things? I do talk about personal things but
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that they are things that are extremely
Speaker 2: close to your, yeah, they're not extremely close to my heart.
Speaker 2: They are just personal things like about myself or about
Speaker 2: how my day was.
Speaker 2: I did last week what I ate yesterday, things like that,
Speaker 2: but not like things that I'm struggling with. Right.
Speaker 1: Your employees never have to know that. Right. It's hard
Speaker 2: to show vulnerability. Yeah, I think. Well, but
Speaker 1: you know what if you are in the management position actually,
Speaker 1: like what Jimmy mentioned just now, it's great for the
Speaker 1: employees to be friends amongst each other because it actually
Speaker 1: increases employee engagement.
Speaker 1: So one workplace study by Gallup found that employees who
Speaker 1: have a best friend in the office are seven times
Speaker 1: more likely to be more engaged in their work. But
Speaker 1: this number drops to just 10% when the employees keep
Speaker 1: their relationships purely professional.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, yeah, I mean, if you have friends at work,
Speaker 2: genuine friends, you know, you can hang out with them
Speaker 2: have lunch, it's a lot less lonely. And I really
Speaker 2: do think it increases job satisfaction. You're just happier in
Speaker 2: your job. You want to perform
Speaker 2: more, be more involved. And apparently, um, statistics have shown
Speaker 2: that it also means that you take fewer sick days
Speaker 2: if you have friends at work because if your friends
Speaker 2: are outside and you take sick days to spend time
Speaker 2: with them. Right.
Speaker 1: But your friends at the workplace, then you just go
Speaker 1: to work and talk to them. Exactly.
Speaker 2: Exactly. Let me tell you what happened. Ok. I went
Speaker 2: on a trip. Right. I came back to work and
Speaker 2: then the next day Jeremy came back,
Speaker 2: um, on that day that Jeremy came back to work.
Speaker 2: So that meant that I haven't seen her in, like,
Speaker 2: two weeks. Right. I was already going home by the way,
Speaker 2: mind you, I was already at the lobby and I remember, oh,
Speaker 2: she's back, I went back out and I sat all
Speaker 2: the way until like the end of my show. Yeah.
Speaker 2: To be with her just sitting and like chatting, she
Speaker 2: was literally on the way out. Like she sent me
Speaker 2: a video like, oh bye. I was like, hey, I'm here. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So
Speaker 2: yes, it, it does make me stay at work. Yes,
Speaker 2: it makes her stay longer than is necessary at
Speaker 1: work. Social and emotional support. That's what it
Speaker 2: is. There we go. Um It also does increase productivity, right?
Speaker 2: A researchers at the University of Pennsylvania and Minnesota um
Speaker 2: confirm that close friendships increase workplace productivity because friends are
Speaker 2: more committed to each other, they communicate and help each
Speaker 2: other better, right? Let's see.
Speaker 2: Let's say, you know, there are some people at work
Speaker 2: where they just rub you the wrong way or you've
Speaker 2: rubbed them the wrong way and you can't get along,
Speaker 2: imagine how hard it is to work with them. I
Speaker 2: think they throw a staple in your face. It's not,
Speaker 2: it's just not
Speaker 1: in a context setting, right? Like we do have to
Speaker 1: produce a lot of show texts for our shows. So
Speaker 1: I think that it helps that we are actually friends
Speaker 1: with our coworkers or colleagues because then we will feel
Speaker 1: more motivated to get this show text done and not
Speaker 1: just leave
Speaker 1: it to the other person because there's quite a lot
Speaker 1: to do and the amount of creativity and the chemistry
Speaker 1: that has to be executed in the text. It also,
Speaker 1: it is a test of your friendship. It's easier.
Speaker 2: It's team work, it's friendship. You know, it's having that,
Speaker 2: that sort of like chemistry with each other as well.
Speaker 2: You've seen that trend on tiktok right now, right. You know,
Speaker 2: it started with the, all you need is your best
Speaker 2: friend and then now it's all you need is your co-worker.
Speaker 2: And then the next slide is basically like a screenshot
Speaker 2: of your conversation or something.
Speaker 2: It's a trend right now.
Speaker 1: Oh, is that a positive thing?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Some conversations I've seen between coworkers include
Speaker 2: like I am shopping for coffins right now
Speaker 2: and
Speaker 2: the friend would be like, please order
Speaker 1: two.
Speaker 1: So on that note, how do we then deal with
Speaker 1: work related conflicts or disagreements? Sure. We can be like,
Speaker 1: you know, good friends shop for coffins together. But at
Speaker 1: that time when the conflict comes in, how?
Speaker 2: So I'll continue the story about that conflict that happened
Speaker 2: with my friend and her colleague who is like a mother.
Speaker 2: The moment that she heard that she wanted to confront her,
Speaker 2: she wanted to call her and give her a piece
Speaker 2: of her mind and say like, why are you saying
Speaker 2: these things about me? It's very hurtful.
Speaker 2: But she realized that anything that she said over the phone,
Speaker 2: this colleague could have then twisted because this colleague basically
Speaker 2: said a lot of lies about her. Right. So what
Speaker 2: she did was contact her hr department to, to mediate
Speaker 2: a call, her hr department is not even here. It's
Speaker 2: in the UK to mediate a call between the both
Speaker 2: of them. I don't know how it's gone yet. I
Speaker 2: haven't met her but I will let you know who
Speaker 2: is this, huh?
Speaker 1: Yeah. But they're so smart of her. No, I
Speaker 2: think it is because emotionally you would want to react.
Speaker 2: You are hurt. You thought this person was your friend
Speaker 2: but might not be the wisest situation if you can
Speaker 2: trust your hr maybe.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But I understand that some people might also feel
Speaker 1: embarrassed for a third party to
Speaker 1: know about all the secrets that you've been telling the
Speaker 1: other person. Right. So, I think it was very brave
Speaker 1: of her friend to do that.
Speaker 2: I mean, half the world already knows what's another person
Speaker 2: who can actually help you? Ouch. She listens to this podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. Are we friends? No, you can we
Speaker 2: be friends?
Speaker 1: Ok. Have you guys ever, like, broken up with a
Speaker 1: work friend over work related conflicts? Now, I can't relate
Speaker 1: with this question because it's never happened to me. I
Speaker 1: don't think so.
Speaker 2: No, I don't have broken up with a work friend.
Speaker 2: I think if anything you kind of just drift apart as,
Speaker 2: as friends naturally do right back,
Speaker 2: colleagues, right back
Speaker 1: to colleagues but not really like break up, break up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think that's ever happened. It's either like we
Speaker 2: get along or we were never friends to begin with.
Speaker 2: It's like for, for example, between the three of us. Right.
Speaker 2: Um You know, some people are on time, some people
Speaker 2: are late
Speaker 2: and this used to be a big thing, right? This
Speaker 2: used to be quite a big thing because we would
Speaker 2: be like, you know, don't be late. Like I'm late too,
Speaker 2: I'm late too. Ok.
Speaker 2: I have something because we are friends. Sometimes it's hard
Speaker 2: to bring up these conversations. It's like, can you not
Speaker 2: be late? Like, can you do this? Can you do that?
Speaker 2: But I think genuinely we've navigated it very well and
Speaker 2: I think it's because of Hazy. Hazy has this quality
Speaker 2: about her where she can say something and be stern
Speaker 2: about it, but still very friendly because this is how
Speaker 2: she does it. Ok. Maybe.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Always start baby. No,
Speaker 2: but it's worked in our favor.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's nice. Ok. So next time there's a workplace,
Speaker 1: this agreement that comes up, just speak to the other
Speaker 1: person and start with baby.
Speaker 2: They might take you to hr,
Speaker 2: your hr department will find you.
Speaker 1: Ok. Like if you are very close, like me and,
Speaker 1: and then you can do that. Ok. Yes.
Speaker 2: Um, I do have a story, however. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 2: a break up but I did have a friend at
Speaker 2: work of which I thought we were friends because we
Speaker 2: were like, go out for lunch, not here. I don't
Speaker 2: go for lunch here. Ok. So
Speaker 2: we will go out for lunch. Um, just be stupid,
Speaker 2: you know, that sort of thing. Like a couple of
Speaker 2: us all friends. And then I think eventually this person, um,
Speaker 2: maybe became friends with someone who had issues with me
Speaker 2: and then suddenly disappear, like one day just stopped talking
Speaker 2: to me and I was like, oh, ok. Cool. But
Speaker 1: did you tell a lot of your personal stuff to
Speaker 1: this
Speaker 2: person? Not really personal, personal? I think more like, like
Speaker 2: friends but not like close, close friends. So you think
Speaker 2: that
Speaker 2: the third party basically said some, not so nice things
Speaker 2: about you to your work friend and, like, influence them
Speaker 2: to stop hanging out with you? I think. So. This
Speaker 2: one secondary school? Oh my God. How
Speaker 1: old are you? Yeah. But have you ever thought of, like,
Speaker 1: asking a work friend?
Speaker 2: Oh, no, I can't be, bother. This kind of things
Speaker 2: to me is like, you're not valuable enough. Like, who
Speaker 2: do you think you are? But
Speaker 1: what if like this person has been spreading like malicious
Speaker 1: stuff about you to other people? Like,
Speaker 2: I don't care. I still have food to eat and
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 2: still live my best life. I don't care
Speaker 1: to go lucky. She cares
Speaker 2: me. But have you ever been in a workplace. Right. Um, where,
Speaker 2: because other people were friends. Right. Other people are work
Speaker 2: friends that they then were biased towards you because they
Speaker 2: showed favoritism to each other. Ah,
Speaker 1: bias against you against you. Yes. In my previous workplace
Speaker 1: I think I had a boss who favored
Speaker 1: certain people and that was very, very obvious.
Speaker 2: I think that happens in quite a few workplaces, to
Speaker 2: be honest. Right. But
Speaker 1: I guess she tries to be professional about it. Like,
Speaker 1: the amount of work issued to each of us is
Speaker 1: the same. Like, I don't get more just because she
Speaker 1: favors the other person. So,
Speaker 2: how is it then shown from her
Speaker 1: attitude, I guess? And the words spoken, you can tell,
Speaker 1: like other people, like, she prefers these other people but, like,
Speaker 1: not me. But it's ok because I don't get more,
Speaker 1: I think some
Speaker 2: people because of favoritism and bias, especially with the boss. Right.
Speaker 2: Some people get away with more at work, more mistakes,
Speaker 2: less work, you know. Um, more, more because you are
Speaker 2: favored by your boss. Right. Yeah, that's a different issue
Speaker 2: altogether though. Huh? Yeah. But like I said, you could
Speaker 2: be friends with your boss. Right. We're talking colleagues. It
Speaker 2: could be your boss. True. But
Speaker 1: have you ever shown favoritism towards any of your employees?
Speaker 1: Maybe the one person who, like, displayed a stellar work attitude?
Speaker 2: I do think that I'm someone that tries to be very, um,
Speaker 2: encouraging and empowering to everybody. But I do think that
Speaker 2: I would probably, um, show more, not favoritism but spend
Speaker 2: more quality time with the person that directly reports to me. Ah,
Speaker 2: because I want to empower her to empower the empower
Speaker 2: the rest. Yeah. Do you start with
Speaker 2: baby? So, today on the agenda?
Speaker 2: Ok. Actually I just remembered something. So I know someone
Speaker 2: who is best friends with his boss. Ok. What, how
Speaker 2: can you be best friends with your boss? I just
Speaker 2: don't think it's, I think they started off as friends
Speaker 2: of which they were not exactly working in the same capacity. Ah, ok.
Speaker 2: Then this person became his boss, but they are best friends.
Speaker 2: Like besties.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that affects the work but I
Speaker 2: know that people have an issue with it, of
Speaker 1: course. Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't see how and why as well because I
Speaker 2: think the job that he holds is probably, like, is
Speaker 2: different from the capacity of like other people. So, actually
Speaker 2: there's not much comparison there but I think people just
Speaker 2: couldn't take it and they always used it
Speaker 2: against him for, I think no reason to me because, like,
Speaker 2: like saying things like, oh, like your best friends,
Speaker 2: they are just jealous. That's a bit hard. But
Speaker 1: think of it from this point of view if you
Speaker 1: were an employee and something happened, but that person got
Speaker 1: away with it. You definitely the first reason that comes
Speaker 1: to your mind.
Speaker 2: Because they, I mean, yeah, in that situation, of course,
Speaker 1: because I was thinking of myself in my ex workplace where,
Speaker 1: you know, that boss show favor to like two or
Speaker 1: three other people. It's tough. It's tough. So it brings
Speaker 1: ask our next question, how do we draw boundaries amongst
Speaker 1: workplace
Speaker 2: friendships? I think the first thing that you have to
Speaker 2: do is be careful what you share. Like the example that,
Speaker 2: you know, I gave of my friend, she shared a
Speaker 2: lot of confidential and personal information which was then used
Speaker 2: against her, not just in the workplace but outside of
Speaker 2: the workplace. So sad. It is very sad. But while
Speaker 2: some people may appear kind, that
Speaker 2: could be a first impression kind of thing, you don't
Speaker 2: really know them and you wanna be chummy with them
Speaker 2: because it's like, oh, you know, we all came in
Speaker 2: at the same time, you know, we were all went
Speaker 2: for orientation at work. You want to be friends with
Speaker 2: them but it's better to protect yourself. Yeah. I think
Speaker 2: sometimes it's inevitable as well because you see them so much. Like,
Speaker 2: you know, people who work in the office 8, 10 hours,
Speaker 2: you see them a lot
Speaker 2: and sometimes you can't put aside your feelings in that
Speaker 2: time and you want to talk about it and these
Speaker 2: are the people closest to you. So you think like,
Speaker 1: yeah, I feel the same way as you do. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I like to share about my personal life, but sometimes
Speaker 1: it's hard to draw the line, you know, as to
Speaker 1: how much I can share with this person
Speaker 2: as long as you trust them. You know, like when
Speaker 2: you meet
Speaker 1: new people, I'm sure you will be one who like,
Speaker 1: love to share a lot about your, your life as well.
Speaker 2: She got called, I mean, we don't see each other
Speaker 2: eight hours a day or even four hours a day. Right. So,
Speaker 2: when we're like in with your, our show partners, imagine
Speaker 2: if your show partner was someone that you could
Speaker 2: trust and you couldn't share your life with. That was
Speaker 2: really sad. That was really tough.
Speaker 1: Just knowing how much you can share with the other
Speaker 1: person I feel is very important. And I think establishing
Speaker 1: the type of friendship it will be such as, ok.
Speaker 1: Are we friends who eat lunch together and then that's
Speaker 1: it or, uh, do we chat and hang out after work?
Speaker 1: I think
Speaker 2: maybe recognizing as well if the nature of your job
Speaker 2: has competitiveness to it
Speaker 2: has some sort of, only one person can get picked
Speaker 2: for a certain thing and everyone's competing for it as
Speaker 2: much as you want to be friends and trust them.
Speaker 2: Like you really never know. Sometimes in desperate situations, a
Speaker 2: career progression might be more important than you are and
Speaker 2: you might be sacrificed at that point. Exactly. Because you're,
Speaker 2: you have to be fair. Right. And then don't be
Speaker 2: so naive and think, oh, we are best friends. We
Speaker 2: are best
Speaker 2: friends. But at the end of the day, their jobs
Speaker 2: might take priority over your friendship because, I mean, you
Speaker 2: guys are all working for the same thing. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1: So, I think being realistic with workplace dynamics that helps
Speaker 1: you to feel a lot more at ease as well. Yeah. Ok.
Speaker 1: Any final words for our listeners on Harsh podcast who
Speaker 1: are struggling with workplace friendships? Well, I
Speaker 2: think give a good first impression to anyone that you
Speaker 2: meet at work,
Speaker 2: right? Because they don't deserve like, you know, you to
Speaker 2: feel that sort of like competitiveness or that like saltiness
Speaker 2: that you got this, I didn't get this. You're all
Speaker 2: working for the same thing at the end of the
Speaker 2: day and there's enough of the pie to go around.
Speaker 2: So just be kind, be nice to people and protect yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like, well being friends with colleagues works
Speaker 1: for some people. It just doesn't work for others. So
Speaker 1: just think of it this way. You're lucky if your
Speaker 1: colleagues become your friends. If they don't, that's fine as well.
Speaker 1: Just focus on your
Speaker 2: work, right? No, absolutely. And honestly, I think after this
Speaker 2: conversation is what I realized that, you know, work friends
Speaker 2: or having friends at work can, can really be a
Speaker 2: really nice thing like we're friends and we've always spoken
Speaker 2: about how we've always created chaos on level seven. And
Speaker 2: I think that's a nice thing, you know, to be
Speaker 2: able to run from end to end, knowing that there
Speaker 2: are people I can run into, you know,
Speaker 2: we used to have a yogurt date every night on,
Speaker 2: on the same, all kind of like overlap.
Speaker 1: There was one hour
Speaker 2: of overlap, one hour of overlap. So after someone's show
Speaker 2: and before someone show, we would just meet at the
Speaker 2: pantry and then share some yogurt and I even make
Speaker 2: homemade granola. Once
Speaker 1: those were good old times. I really, really enjoy like
Speaker 1: just stay at the pan talking about our live and
Speaker 1: then just having a cup of yogurt.
Speaker 2: The simple thing is simple,
Speaker 1: simple but happy.
Speaker 1: So we hope that this episode has given you some
Speaker 1: light on how you can handle your workplace, friendships. And
Speaker 1: if you have any questions, feel free to always just
Speaker 1: DM us on Instagram at its clarity dot com. That's right.
Speaker 2: You can listen to us on Spotify Me, listen Apple Podcast.
Speaker 2: Don't forget to turn on the notifications and check us
Speaker 2: out on youtube as well so that you can see
Speaker 2: the beautiful set that our team has put together. Yay.
Speaker 2: Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening. Once again, I'm Hazel. I'm a,
Speaker 1: I'm Jermaine and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2: Bye bye.
Speaker 2: Maybe next time we talk about um dating in the workplace.
Speaker 2: I know who to call