WEBVTT - On the bro code – The difference between male and female friendships 0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:03.330 Welcome back to another episode of Men explain. I'm pretty 0:00:03.330 --> 0:00:05.819 sure you'll be quite excited about today's guest because I 0:00:05.820 --> 0:00:09.100 heard he's been voted one of the handsomest faces at 0:00:09.100 --> 0:00:10.500 this point in time? 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.759 Please welcome Sean Tia. What's up? 0:00:22.770 --> 0:00:24.849 Hello? Thanks sonia. Hello everyone. My name is Sean, I'm 0:00:24.850 --> 0:00:29.350 an actor and I'm also a content creator um and 0:00:29.350 --> 0:00:31.220 a full time dot parent 0:00:31.250 --> 0:00:35.200 Lawrence. Okay, Okay. And you are what, Top 100 most 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:36.470 handsome faces or something 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:37.309 who 0:00:37.310 --> 0:00:38.410 did that research? 0:00:38.420 --> 0:00:40.390 No, So like there was this day, I just got 0:00:40.390 --> 0:00:44.690 like a notification on my social media there. Like, so 0:00:44.713 --> 0:00:48.913 I think this competition called TC candler Okay, and 0:00:48.923 --> 0:00:52.723 you got voted in? Great congrats, thank you so much. 0:00:52.732 --> 0:00:54.223 Have a very symmetrical phase. 0:00:54.233 --> 0:00:56.813 I don't every do you look at my eyes like, 0:00:56.823 --> 0:00:57.243 you know, 0:00:57.253 --> 0:00:59.843 I don't, I don't think it's pretty much the same, 0:00:59.853 --> 0:01:02.863 but today's topic is going to be quite interesting because 0:01:02.863 --> 0:01:05.533 I feel like we don't really talk about this that much. 0:01:05.543 --> 0:01:08.163 Us girls, we have a lot. We chat a lot, 0:01:08.173 --> 0:01:09.883 you know, we're always gossiping, 0:01:09.906 --> 0:01:12.905 telling each other our deepest darkest secrets. And I've always 0:01:12.906 --> 0:01:16.326 wondered at the back of my mind whether men have 0:01:16.325 --> 0:01:20.536 similar conversations in there bro groups, you know? And more 0:01:20.536 --> 0:01:23.386 often than not, I met with this sentence, like it's 0:01:23.386 --> 0:01:25.156 the bro code, I won't tell like, you know, like 0:01:25.166 --> 0:01:28.156 we won't tell on our bros and all that. So 0:01:28.166 --> 0:01:32.336 I wanted to sort of unpack the whole concept of 0:01:32.346 --> 0:01:35.100 male friendships and the bro code. 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.420 How do guys maintain their friendships? You know, so that 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:40.020 exist for you though. right? It 0:01:40.020 --> 0:01:41.990 does it does but like maybe a bit of disclaimer 0:01:41.990 --> 0:01:45.259 out there is that I I so this bro code 0:01:45.260 --> 0:01:48.260 thing I mean is there we all know about it 0:01:48.270 --> 0:01:51.380 but like I don't know if I'm the best person 0:01:51.390 --> 0:01:55.540 to talk about it also because I feel like I 0:01:55.540 --> 0:01:59.160 tread between like it's important and it's not important at 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:00.980 the same time. So I come from a very neutral 0:02:00.980 --> 0:02:03.800 point of view if that makes sense. Yeah but like 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:04.590 the bro code, 0:02:04.830 --> 0:02:07.080 I mean do we have examples? 0:02:07.090 --> 0:02:09.720 Okay I'll give you an example, let's just say you 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:13.620 and your best friend, your best guy friend okay he's 0:02:13.630 --> 0:02:17.639 in a relationship and you also know his partner 0:02:17.650 --> 0:02:19.290 okay 0:02:19.300 --> 0:02:21.020 and you guys hang on the same group all that. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:24.180 But because he was your best friend first, he confided 0:02:24.180 --> 0:02:26.829 in you and he told you he's so you know 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:29.110 I've been cheating on so and so 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:30.030 that's a very heavy 0:02:30.110 --> 0:02:32.820 and yeah let's do 0:02:32.820 --> 0:02:33.570 it. Let's do it. 0:02:33.580 --> 0:02:36.639 So so then in that case it's a bit of 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:37.850 a moral dilemma. 0:02:37.860 --> 0:02:38.610 What 0:02:38.610 --> 0:02:39.410 would you do in that? 0:02:39.850 --> 0:02:42.250 Because you have to keep this friendship? I don't know 0:02:42.250 --> 0:02:44.820 bro code with him, you won't just go and tell 0:02:44.820 --> 0:02:47.060 his partner about it even though you're friends with with 0:02:47.060 --> 0:02:49.430 her right? So what would you do in such a 0:02:49.430 --> 0:02:54.530 situation? I have a similar like a group of friends 0:02:54.540 --> 0:02:56.410 that I hang out. So I have like different group 0:02:56.410 --> 0:02:59.820 of friends and I actually my my circle of friends 0:02:59.820 --> 0:03:04.769 are very small maybe because I'm just very selective that well. 0:03:04.780 --> 0:03:05.880 Yeah and 0:03:06.050 --> 0:03:08.459 I have seasonal bros, 0:03:08.470 --> 0:03:10.770 seasonal bros, I've never heard of this, 0:03:10.770 --> 0:03:12.530 know like okay, so like let's say you're working on 0:03:12.530 --> 0:03:15.520 a project that is like six months long and of 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:19.410 course like you for certain relationships right, that maybe this 0:03:19.410 --> 0:03:22.180 bro is like okay at this point of time you 0:03:22.180 --> 0:03:24.110 guys are very close and that's fine, you know? 0:03:24.330 --> 0:03:28.869 But I also have like life long bruise kind of thing. 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.799 Yeah and I have, so I have this group of friends, 0:03:31.810 --> 0:03:34.670 it is, it is me and two other guys and 0:03:34.669 --> 0:03:38.260 one of the guys partner also, so four of us 0:03:38.270 --> 0:03:39.260 and 0:03:39.820 --> 0:03:43.770 I know the girl and the guy equally 0:03:43.780 --> 0:03:45.100 very well very well 0:03:45.110 --> 0:03:47.530 if he were to come and tell me that like 0:03:47.530 --> 0:03:49.540 he's been cheating and all that, I think 0:03:50.250 --> 0:03:53.020 okay, the bro code obviously is like oh you know, 0:03:53.030 --> 0:03:55.480 they always say like bros over hos what have you 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:56.100 heard that? Because 0:03:56.110 --> 0:03:59.570 I don't subscribe fully to that I think like there's 0:03:59.570 --> 0:04:03.870 certain value in that like certain sense of what you 0:04:03.870 --> 0:04:07.720 call that camaraderie that but not not fully la um 0:04:07.730 --> 0:04:10.250 if let's say this bro, come and tell me like 0:04:10.260 --> 0:04:11.430 yeah I have been, 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:12.480 you know, I 0:04:12.490 --> 0:04:16.150 think I'll ask him maybe where is he, where is 0:04:16.150 --> 0:04:17.339 his heart adverse, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.549 you know, like is he like remorseful, he wants to 0:04:19.550 --> 0:04:21.890 change or whatever but like the fact that I know 0:04:21.890 --> 0:04:25.099 about this thing I would advise him to like really 0:04:25.100 --> 0:04:27.750 just come clean because I don't believe in sweeping things 0:04:27.750 --> 0:04:28.010 under the 0:04:28.010 --> 0:04:29.790 rug. I 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:30.510 don't believe in that 0:04:30.890 --> 0:04:33.969 I believe in like settling like at least 99% of 0:04:33.970 --> 0:04:35.830 things you have to at least like voice it out 0:04:35.830 --> 0:04:36.820 and settle it 0:04:36.830 --> 0:04:37.960 as soon as you can. 0:04:37.970 --> 0:04:40.460 Yeah and if he comes from a place that like 0:04:40.470 --> 0:04:42.640 okay like you know like we don't want to like 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.070 you got to help me and I'll tell him like 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:49.050 dude you better get your ship right now you have 0:04:49.050 --> 0:04:49.520 to 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.030 I want to confess but at least you know really 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.680 just check yourself and kind of come clean but when 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.030 he's ready of course but I won't you know step 0:04:58.029 --> 0:05:00.230 over my boundary and then it 0:05:00.230 --> 0:05:02.020 may not feel like it's in your place to go 0:05:02.020 --> 0:05:05.450 and tell. Yeah 0:05:05.460 --> 0:05:09.110 I think that is the bro code that's the limit 0:05:09.110 --> 0:05:12.810 where I can put myself at that. I would tell 0:05:12.810 --> 0:05:13.340 him that 0:05:13.350 --> 0:05:15.990 you know you need to wake the hell up but 0:05:15.990 --> 0:05:17.980 not overstep that boundary 0:05:17.990 --> 0:05:22.130 so so then then let's just say we switch the positions, 0:05:22.130 --> 0:05:25.250 what do you look for in a bro for example 0:05:25.260 --> 0:05:28.040 because for us girls right like we can sit down 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.440 and talk about the same thing or the same guy 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:33.010 problem for like six hours and I don't know whether 0:05:33.010 --> 0:05:35.150 it's the same for you guys but what do you 0:05:35.150 --> 0:05:36.930 look for in a good bro, 0:05:37.890 --> 0:05:39.140 in a good bro. 0:05:39.140 --> 0:05:39.930 Er 0:05:40.540 --> 0:05:44.440 you know like maybe at my maybe in this season 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:48.549 of life right? I feel like I have already seen 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:53.380 enough people, most types of people, most of us and 0:05:53.390 --> 0:05:57.310 I feel like my friends, the friendship circle is already 0:05:57.310 --> 0:06:00.360 like kind of fixed, so if I were to meet 0:06:00.370 --> 0:06:02.349 a new guy, I'm assuming it's like a new person 0:06:02.350 --> 0:06:08.580 and like how would I induct him into my world? Right? 0:06:08.589 --> 0:06:09.839 I think 0:06:10.450 --> 0:06:13.410 wow, I don't know how would it go? Like is 0:06:13.410 --> 0:06:14.859 it easier for girls? Like to 0:06:14.870 --> 0:06:17.010 know actually I think for girls is harder, so if 0:06:17.010 --> 0:06:19.940 we've already formed I can cite I am seeing all 0:06:19.940 --> 0:06:23.049 the producers like laughing behind the seats because it's true, 0:06:23.050 --> 0:06:25.670 you girls know it it's like if you've already formed 0:06:25.670 --> 0:06:28.390 this group, I'm not talking like mean girls, but it's 0:06:28.390 --> 0:06:30.500 quite like mean girls. So you already like in a 0:06:30.500 --> 0:06:34.050 group right? And if there's a new chick that's going 0:06:34.050 --> 0:06:35.980 to be introduced in, I think you have to do 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.650 a lot of boxes first before joining that group, like 0:06:38.650 --> 0:06:43.060 there's so many things and dynamic within the group and 0:06:43.060 --> 0:06:46.500 you've already sort of set that in stone with your 0:06:46.500 --> 0:06:49.120 friends which you've had for a long time that sometimes 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:53.180 it introduced new people too quickly, it could cause a 0:06:53.180 --> 0:06:56.590 bit of friction amongst people, you know like why you 0:06:56.589 --> 0:06:58.039 hang out with her more than me. Like I thought 0:06:58.040 --> 0:06:59.140 I was your only friend. 0:06:59.150 --> 0:07:00.210 I mean 0:07:00.220 --> 0:07:01.140 yes, 0:07:01.850 --> 0:07:04.330 at least for my girl group. I don't know. Okay, 0:07:04.339 --> 0:07:05.460 okay. Maybe 0:07:05.460 --> 0:07:07.380 maybe, I don't know if it's the same for every 0:07:07.380 --> 0:07:10.910 girl group, but I see like in my own partner, um, 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.520 they make friends with super easily. They're like, they come 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:16.040 from poker game or something. There's like three new guys 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.130 are like, so okay. Maybe they've got these activities that 0:07:19.140 --> 0:07:22.330 are easier to invite friends or friends and then they 0:07:22.330 --> 0:07:24.020 eventually become part of a bigger group, 0:07:24.030 --> 0:07:25.520 but that is like surface 0:07:25.545 --> 0:07:26.575 level bruise, right? 0:07:26.585 --> 0:07:29.125 Right? Not like not like decisions. 0:07:29.135 --> 0:07:31.705 I feel like it's very easy, especially nowadays like we 0:07:31.705 --> 0:07:34.225 just like, you know, especially if you like forget someone's 0:07:34.225 --> 0:07:35.355 name and hey bro, 0:07:35.365 --> 0:07:37.295 Oh my gosh, what the girls say? 0:07:37.305 --> 0:07:38.235 Hey sis 0:07:38.245 --> 0:07:39.565 it's your, 0:07:39.575 --> 0:07:40.225 I don't know. 0:07:40.335 --> 0:07:44.205 I just be like, hey friend and then trail off. 0:07:44.215 --> 0:07:48.435 Just be like, hey, long time I just saw you 0:07:48.435 --> 0:07:49.240 last week. 0:07:49.390 --> 0:07:51.390 That's a long time. Right 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:53.550 Guys, we have a lot of this kind of like 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.400 surface bruise. Like when we meet them for the first time, 0:07:57.010 --> 0:07:57.900 you know, 0:07:57.910 --> 0:08:00.920 I don't, I don't do that. But 0:08:00.930 --> 0:08:02.430 you guys do like the, 0:08:03.050 --> 0:08:06.040 the, okay, there is a brew gesture. 0:08:06.050 --> 0:08:08.470 But I mean I have another burning question like 0:08:08.630 --> 0:08:11.260 with us girls, you know, like I mentioned earlier, we 0:08:11.260 --> 0:08:15.710 are so open about a lot of our feelings. We 0:08:15.710 --> 0:08:20.620 pitch about people, our partners, whatever something went wrong or whatever, right? 0:08:20.630 --> 0:08:23.140 And sometimes we also cry like in front of each other. 0:08:23.140 --> 0:08:24.590 Like if things went wrong or we 0:08:24.610 --> 0:08:26.960 break up or we're going through a tough time. I 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.450 think it's, it's only natural, you know, like your friends 0:08:29.450 --> 0:08:32.439 are there for you and that's common. Feel free. So 0:08:32.450 --> 0:08:34.920 amongst a broad group, like, do you guys ever get 0:08:34.929 --> 0:08:38.880 to that vulnerable point where you physically actually break down 0:08:38.890 --> 0:08:40.589 or has that hardly happened? 0:08:42.130 --> 0:08:46.050 Okay. So I only speak for like my group of friends, 0:08:46.050 --> 0:08:48.890 la and I think that I have a few lifelong 0:08:48.890 --> 0:08:51.360 bros that we grew up together, I think like we 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.699 knew each other since we were 12 and we've just 0:08:54.700 --> 0:08:55.080 been 0:08:55.590 --> 0:08:57.940 just been playing the same game. Just been like talking 0:08:57.940 --> 0:09:02.840 about the same nonsense. Yeah. For like the past, how 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.860 am I this year? 27 2015 years old for the 0:09:05.860 --> 0:09:09.390 past 15 years, we've just been like, just closed. Right? 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.819 And it's a very low maintenance friendship. What I mean 0:09:11.820 --> 0:09:14.000 by that is like, we don't, we don't have to 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:17.170 like meet each other, you know, once we don't, in fact, 0:09:17.170 --> 0:09:19.260 most of the time, right? I would say we are 0:09:19.260 --> 0:09:19.910 close 0:09:20.070 --> 0:09:24.640 to a point where we don't have to 0:09:24.650 --> 0:09:27.180 meet up constantly be a part of each other's 0:09:27.179 --> 0:09:29.530 life. In fact, sometimes I look at their face. I 0:09:29.530 --> 0:09:30.990 know what they're gonna say. We're in sync 0:09:30.990 --> 0:09:31.550 that way, 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:34.900 right? But then it's a very low maintenance thing that 0:09:34.900 --> 0:09:37.069 we don't, we don't have to like do a heart 0:09:37.070 --> 0:09:39.420 to heart talk. I think girls do that, right? And 0:09:39.420 --> 0:09:41.359 I think it's very nice. I think it's nice for 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:42.209 guys too 0:09:42.410 --> 0:09:45.610 to to try to do more of these. Just like, 0:09:45.610 --> 0:09:48.470 maybe it's just harder for our walls to come down. 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.929 I agree. So it's so funny because I remember this 0:09:51.929 --> 0:09:54.790 quite clearly, um my partner and I had a fight 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.439 and it was quite like a big fight. But now 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:57.679 you ask, 0:09:57.700 --> 0:10:00.960 I forgot what it's about as with most fights. So 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.970 we spent the day like not speaking to each other. 0:10:03.980 --> 0:10:07.340 And I went off to like, whine about it with 0:10:07.350 --> 0:10:10.929 friends over wine no less. And then he said, okay, 0:10:10.929 --> 0:10:14.230 like he's going to go meet a buddy, right? And 0:10:14.230 --> 0:10:16.420 we were still kind of just updating each other, like 0:10:16.429 --> 0:10:19.900 what's going on in 45 minutes inside. Okay. I'm done. 0:10:19.910 --> 0:10:21.660 I was like, wait, what? I just, I was sitting 0:10:21.660 --> 0:10:23.800 there from lunch to dinner 0:10:23.980 --> 0:10:26.850 and I'm still not done talking about my feelings, but 0:10:26.850 --> 0:10:27.310 he was done. 0:10:27.309 --> 0:10:28.560 It sounds about right, Less 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.500 than an hour. So after the dust settled and we, 0:10:31.510 --> 0:10:33.760 you know, stop fighting, was like, so what do you 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:37.540 share with your buddy? Just 0.1 point 2.3 and then 0:10:37.540 --> 0:10:39.390 his body goes, okay, you should do this this and 0:10:39.390 --> 0:10:42.740 then that, and then, okay, let's go get coffee. 0:10:42.750 --> 0:10:44.110 I really, really, 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:45.390 that's it. 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.339 I think maybe 0:10:48.350 --> 0:10:50.540 females are more expressive. I don't know. 0:10:50.550 --> 0:10:52.819 Maybe it's a little bit of a double agent sort right? 0:10:52.830 --> 0:10:56.790 Like guys we um I don't know this sexist or not. 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:59.709 But most guys we really okay we want to settle things. 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:00.630 We get to the point, 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:02.020 we get to the point, we settle things. But maybe 0:11:02.020 --> 0:11:02.580 girls like to 0:11:02.580 --> 0:11:07.070 share. Yeah. What about the context and the story behind it. 0:11:07.085 --> 0:11:09.485 Like, you know, and then like three days before this happened, 0:11:09.485 --> 0:11:12.675 you know like what happened? Like you know what I mean? 0:11:12.675 --> 0:11:15.925 Like you said the contact. I get it. I get it. Yeah. 0:11:15.934 --> 0:11:19.105 I don't know. I think like in 45 minutes that 0:11:19.105 --> 0:11:23.805 is sufficient to cover everything. Okay, so maybe like with 0:11:23.804 --> 0:11:26.844 my guy friends, right? We be my brothers. Are we 0:11:26.855 --> 0:11:28.535 really cut straight to the point. 0:11:28.545 --> 0:11:30.845 Okay, so then my question is if you guys are 0:11:30.845 --> 0:11:34.705 not talking about love, relationships, feelings, life stuff. Like what 0:11:34.705 --> 0:11:36.599 are you talking about most of the time? 0:11:36.730 --> 0:11:39.180 I'm very curious to know this in bro settings. What 0:11:39.179 --> 0:11:40.240 do guys talk about? 0:11:40.830 --> 0:11:45.170 I think guys, okay. I mean say for my girlfriends, right? 0:11:45.179 --> 0:11:51.770 Like football, okay. Something like really lame to you. But 0:11:51.770 --> 0:11:56.440 like maybe you guys talk about like what manicure pedicure 0:11:56.450 --> 0:11:57.380 similar 0:11:57.380 --> 0:11:57.850 line, right? 0:11:57.860 --> 0:11:59.670 Yeah. 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:02.920 And most of my guy friends, like why also say 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:06.189 it's low maintenance friendship because we can literally just sit 0:12:06.190 --> 0:12:06.710 down 0:12:07.290 --> 0:12:11.650 and play FIFA for maybe like from like nine p.m. 0:12:11.650 --> 0:12:13.990 All the way into like five a.m. And we can 0:12:13.990 --> 0:12:15.070 just don't talk about it. Like 0:12:15.070 --> 0:12:16.340 just just don't yeah 0:12:16.340 --> 0:12:17.800 ha ha loser, you know that our next game? 0:12:17.809 --> 0:12:19.250 Really? 0:12:19.260 --> 0:12:23.200 I don't know, I think maybe it is, maybe there's 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:27.700 like a culture that my girlfriends have you. No, 0:12:27.710 --> 0:12:29.990 no, it's not the first time I think I've heard 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:31.490 some other stories or 0:12:31.500 --> 0:12:32.420 you know, maybe 0:12:32.429 --> 0:12:33.750 you 0:12:33.750 --> 0:12:35.550 don't talk about stuff, you know, you're trying to 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.090 win some money, right, 0:12:38.100 --> 0:12:41.010 okay, so on that note, I'm going to list out 0:12:41.010 --> 0:12:45.290 some would say assumptions about bro code, okay, And you 0:12:45.290 --> 0:12:49.330 tell me whether you think it's real or not, whether 0:12:49.330 --> 0:12:50.270 it's applicable 0:12:50.490 --> 0:12:53.449 disclaimer? I mean, I speak for myself and myself only 0:12:53.460 --> 0:12:55.040 right now for all the guys in the world. 0:12:55.050 --> 0:12:57.540 Yes, yes, yes, there's a lot of disclaimers, you 0:12:57.550 --> 0:12:59.610 gotta be safe. 0:12:59.940 --> 0:13:03.850 Okay, here are some examples of a bro code. Okay, 0:13:04.010 --> 0:13:05.670 being a good wingman, 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:06.280 do 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.280 you agree with that? Have you been a wingman before? 0:13:08.290 --> 0:13:08.449 I'm 0:13:08.450 --> 0:13:09.510 a horrible wingman. 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:10.760 You're horrible wingman. Why 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:15.140 I'm so horrible because I have never approached, I think 0:13:15.140 --> 0:13:18.140 like wingman, right? Like that doesn't have to be a 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:19.170 he 0:13:19.170 --> 0:13:22.170 clearly hasn't had much experience in being a wing man. 0:13:22.170 --> 0:13:24.510 No, heaven. Like can you give me an example? 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.929 Like, okay, like you guys are partying you and your 0:13:26.929 --> 0:13:29.500 bro walking around and he goes, hey that goes cute 0:13:29.500 --> 0:13:29.720 and 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:31.290 like what 0:13:31.290 --> 0:13:32.000 should I do? I'm sure 0:13:32.030 --> 0:13:34.160 he doesn't think I'm the worst person to talk about 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.290 this because I don't like to like party and all that. 0:13:37.300 --> 0:13:39.309 I've been to a club less than five times, 0:13:39.309 --> 0:13:40.309 I think. Really? 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.209 Yeah, I have never. And every time I go to 0:13:42.210 --> 0:13:45.520 the club is to is for a reason for either 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.380 work or live to drag my friend out. 0:13:47.580 --> 0:13:49.079 Right? Yeah. 0:13:49.090 --> 0:13:51.260 And so what if you're trying to set your friend 0:13:51.260 --> 0:13:52.819 up with someone? You've never actually done that? 0:13:52.830 --> 0:13:56.559 I've never done that. Let's say my friend asked me 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.380 to do something for him so that he can approach 0:13:59.380 --> 0:14:01.910 the girl easier. I think I can do that. Just 0:14:01.910 --> 0:14:03.240 nobody has ever asked me for 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:06.709 that. You get that the goal like you instead. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.970 Yeah, I don't want to maybe, you know, honestly, maybe 0:14:11.980 --> 0:14:14.700 maybe think, okay, we're going to clip this out and 0:14:14.700 --> 0:14:19.430 send your guy friends not to ship anything. But wait, 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.610 I never asked you this then. How did sidetrack, How 0:14:21.610 --> 0:14:22.650 did you meet Senior? 0:14:23.020 --> 0:14:25.770 I met Senior. True, true. 0:14:25.780 --> 0:14:27.820 Someone okay to work 0:14:27.830 --> 0:14:32.440 through projects. And yeah, it was like, I mean, we 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:33.610 met at work and then 0:14:33.870 --> 0:14:37.570 I just spoke to her and that's the thing that 0:14:37.570 --> 0:14:41.859 I I find it very hard to approach girls to like, okay, 0:14:41.860 --> 0:14:43.870 I'll give you a scenario, okay, just like, let's say 0:14:43.870 --> 0:14:47.620 you're at a bar drinking and all that, which don't 0:14:47.620 --> 0:14:49.620 really happen for me because I don't like to drink, right? 0:14:49.630 --> 0:14:51.290 I 0:14:51.460 --> 0:14:52.160 so if 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:53.580 let's say I see a pretty girl and I want 0:14:53.580 --> 0:14:56.860 to approach her, right? I cannot. I just don't know 0:14:56.860 --> 0:14:57.690 how So, so 0:14:57.690 --> 0:15:00.570 you've never actually approached a person? I 0:15:00.580 --> 0:15:03.130 tried once La I think I was in a club 0:15:03.140 --> 0:15:05.940 last time with my friends and then like, 0:15:05.950 --> 0:15:06.900 did it work? 0:15:06.910 --> 0:15:08.680 I felt a little bit of formal because like, my 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.300 friends were like, you know, talk to that girl for me, 0:15:11.300 --> 0:15:13.410 I'm just like okay for more, I got to do 0:15:13.410 --> 0:15:15.180 something so I tried and 0:15:15.180 --> 0:15:15.670 then 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:16.890 I want to know the result 0:15:16.900 --> 0:15:18.100 absolutely trash. 0:15:18.110 --> 0:15:21.200 You faded out into the darkness behind you, like, just 0:15:21.380 --> 0:15:25.250 remember it was it was so that that 30 seconds 0:15:25.250 --> 0:15:27.900 felt like, like 30 days are so awkward, you know, like, 0:15:27.910 --> 0:15:28.940 I don't know, she looked at me, I look at 0:15:28.940 --> 0:15:30.920 her and then like shouting very loud, 0:15:30.930 --> 0:15:32.740 I what's your name? 0:15:32.750 --> 0:15:37.310 I just cannot. Yeah, I feel like we if ever 0:15:37.310 --> 0:15:39.890 let's I I meet someone like was a senior, right? 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:43.780 We are friends first and then we grow we grow 0:15:43.780 --> 0:15:47.500 from there, but I can never just like, meet someone 0:15:47.510 --> 0:15:50.140 like that and have a very 0:15:50.470 --> 0:15:52.980 powerful relationship, I can never do that. 0:15:52.990 --> 0:15:56.340 We're very opposite in that sense. Like a lot of 0:15:56.340 --> 0:16:01.300 my ex boyfriends were from like parties, clubs and it 0:16:01.300 --> 0:16:05.150 was all like literally like that, like 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:06.190 you carry on after 0:16:06.190 --> 0:16:08.800 that we just like we exchanged numbers and then maybe 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.480 we could text for a while and then maybe we'll 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.330 see each other again at the next thing. Then they 0:16:13.330 --> 0:16:15.910 asked me out or they asked me already, I don't know. Okay, 0:16:15.910 --> 0:16:16.600 the next one. 0:16:16.790 --> 0:16:20.690 Next one is example another example of a brokered ex 0:16:20.690 --> 0:16:23.260 girlfriends or sisters are off limits. 0:16:23.270 --> 0:16:26.680 Yeah, okay so this I agree. I feel like I 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:29.310 feel like there is a certain boundary to that if 0:16:29.310 --> 0:16:31.580 let's say bro to come and tell me like oh 0:16:31.580 --> 0:16:33.290 you know I just broke up with this girl, 0:16:33.310 --> 0:16:38.080 then I then let's say three months later I come 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:39.830 into the picture and I'm dating this girl isn't a 0:16:39.830 --> 0:16:40.220 little bit so 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:41.260 it is weird 0:16:41.270 --> 0:16:43.480 like that then then the question is that how long 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:45.690 have I like this girl before already? So 0:16:45.690 --> 0:16:46.580 many questions 0:16:46.590 --> 0:16:49.830 so I think like that has 0:16:50.380 --> 0:16:53.790 Okay, I have another story, right? That it's kind of 0:16:53.790 --> 0:16:57.960 similar but it's also not fully but this this one 0:16:57.970 --> 0:17:00.460 I mean I was very young, right? I was like 0:17:00.470 --> 0:17:02.730 15 I think. I don't even know, you can count 0:17:02.730 --> 0:17:04.560 this as a like relationship things, 0:17:04.570 --> 0:17:07.149 I'm ready to hear it regardless. So 0:17:07.150 --> 0:17:09.850 When I was like around 15 I met this, I 0:17:09.850 --> 0:17:12.800 met this girl through my best friend and then we 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.750 were kind of like talking texting each other last time, right? 0:17:15.750 --> 0:17:17.260 Like just like sms each other 0:17:17.700 --> 0:17:22.330 and then um she was giving me this signal like 0:17:22.340 --> 0:17:24.440 I mean like text me right? Like of course 0:17:24.450 --> 0:17:26.389 you want to feeling a vibe from her. 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.000 Yeah, and I'm a little bit slow at it but 0:17:29.010 --> 0:17:31.830 I could catch, they're like yeah, 0:17:32.100 --> 0:17:32.830 yeah 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:34.649 And then we're talking well you know we're just texting 0:17:34.650 --> 0:17:36.709 you know everything class four you're 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:38.730 looking waiting for. Yeah, 0:17:38.740 --> 0:17:40.810 and I feel like maybe there's something going on right? 0:17:40.810 --> 0:17:43.840 And so that went on for like a good, I 0:17:43.850 --> 0:17:46.090 don't know, maybe like half a year or something, right? 0:17:46.100 --> 0:17:46.580 And 0:17:47.140 --> 0:17:48.240 all this time, 0:17:48.980 --> 0:17:53.109 my bro, my best friend like never say anything also, 0:17:53.109 --> 0:17:55.790 maybe because we don't confide in each other about these 0:17:55.790 --> 0:17:58.970 kind of things, right? So there was this time right 0:17:58.970 --> 0:18:01.850 when it was valentine's day, then last time there's this 0:18:01.859 --> 0:18:02.300 um 0:18:02.450 --> 0:18:03.810 there's this shop rite called 0:18:03.810 --> 0:18:05.080 like tiny 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:08.790 Toon you 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:10.410 know 0:18:10.420 --> 0:18:11.330 those big flashes, you 0:18:11.330 --> 0:18:12.380 know? Yeah, 0:18:12.390 --> 0:18:16.790 so she was saying oh I love this, this your 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:17.639 you know we 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:19.970 need to put in now, okay by that and it's 0:18:20.050 --> 0:18:23.070 kind of like gigantic size. So I brought it over 0:18:23.070 --> 0:18:26.690 then I I went to a house valentine's day, surprise 0:18:26.690 --> 0:18:26.820 her 0:18:26.820 --> 0:18:27.609 right, 0:18:27.619 --> 0:18:29.600 showed up. I waited for like an hour I showed 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:29.899 up 0:18:30.100 --> 0:18:33.800 and she was walking towards me but then right beside 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:34.950 her it was my best friend, 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:36.060 oh my gosh 0:18:36.070 --> 0:18:37.440 and then they were holding hands, they 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:38.510 were holding hands, 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:41.050 they were just like very close proximity, I cannot remember 0:18:41.050 --> 0:18:42.600 they were holding hands just coming 0:18:42.950 --> 0:18:45.490 or when I'm and I'm like happy valentine's day but 0:18:45.490 --> 0:18:48.510 then like while doing that I'm just like I look 0:18:48.510 --> 0:18:52.770 at my friend, I'm like what's up? What's up? And then, okay, 0:18:52.770 --> 0:18:55.389 I cut a long story short, I only found out, right? Actually, 0:18:55.390 --> 0:18:57.750 my best friend has been dating her for like a 0:18:57.750 --> 0:18:58.600 year 0:18:58.609 --> 0:19:00.180 And No one said anything. 0:19:00.190 --> 0:19:02.140 No, no one said anything. Like I I never because 0:19:02.140 --> 0:19:03.899 I never actually spoke to my best friend about discount 0:19:03.900 --> 0:19:04.580 things 0:19:04.590 --> 0:19:05.870 and like, but 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:09.669 you're dating someone I should know about it, but only 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:10.859 apparently guys don't talk about 0:19:11.150 --> 0:19:16.320 maybe until it's like serious or something. But yeah, it 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:18.520 is, it is. And I realized that like this where 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:20.540 things get a little bit more complicated. I realized that 0:19:20.540 --> 0:19:23.070 I'm not even a third party. No. Yeah, so my 0:19:23.070 --> 0:19:25.590 best friend was dating this girl, 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:26.550 okay. But 0:19:26.550 --> 0:19:28.600 then this girl right, was also talking to my best 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:30.080 friend's best friend, 0:19:30.090 --> 0:19:30.909 which is, you 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.530 know, it's not me, like I'm not even the party, 0:19:33.530 --> 0:19:34.649 I'm the fourth party, you know, 0:19:34.670 --> 0:19:35.840 best friends, best friend, 0:19:35.850 --> 0:19:36.260 Yeah, 0:19:36.410 --> 0:19:37.300 best friends, But I mean 0:19:37.310 --> 0:19:38.939 you're not your best friend's best friend. 0:19:38.950 --> 0:19:41.690 I know him from church, right? And his best friends 0:19:41.690 --> 0:19:42.830 from school for example. 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.920 So you are the other best friend 0:19:44.930 --> 0:19:47.680 and the other best friend. Yeah. And then like, so 0:19:47.690 --> 0:19:50.390 so that that's the girl, my best friend, my best 0:19:50.390 --> 0:19:52.450 friend's best friend, and I'm the fourth party, 0:19:52.460 --> 0:19:55.390 wow, this girl we need to give her an award, 0:19:55.390 --> 0:20:00.199 like this normalizing it not, you 0:20:00.210 --> 0:20:02.680 were just like, you know, puppets man dance 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:03.129 for us. 0:20:03.140 --> 0:20:04.080 I 0:20:04.090 --> 0:20:07.800 think like from that day onwards, right? I realized that like, actually, 0:20:07.810 --> 0:20:11.010 oh my goodness, guys really don't talk about things like 0:20:11.020 --> 0:20:12.730 as openly as a girl would 0:20:12.740 --> 0:20:16.510 see that's the thing, you know, within the first few 0:20:16.510 --> 0:20:19.640 weeks even, or even the first time we met, we 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.280 meet someone that maybe we find cute or whatever. I'm 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:23.669 immediately telling my friend about it, 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:24.710 like immediately 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:27.140 immediately. And like by the way, I met this guy, 0:20:27.150 --> 0:20:29.870 you know, like we might be going out. Maybe, maybe not. 0:20:30.060 --> 0:20:32.780 We just update each other and every time we meet 0:20:32.790 --> 0:20:34.630 or like have drinks or whatever, they'll be like, so 0:20:34.630 --> 0:20:36.179 what's the update? Even though it was just like two 0:20:36.180 --> 0:20:38.530 days ago, right? That we spoke to each other. 0:20:38.540 --> 0:20:42.180 Yeah. What's funny about like this right? Is I can 0:20:42.180 --> 0:20:44.960 relate and like, okay, I like that. Right? But my 0:20:44.970 --> 0:20:48.480 best friends, right? We usually tell each other very, very 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.200 surface stuff and my brothers are like three of us. 0:20:51.210 --> 0:20:53.460 We would just say like, wow, chills here. 0:20:53.780 --> 0:20:59.600 Yeah, you chose. Yeah. Or like, wow, very big something, right? 0:20:59.609 --> 0:21:01.360 But we won't go into details, you know, we don't 0:21:01.470 --> 0:21:01.620 think 0:21:01.619 --> 0:21:02.840 about her hair obviously, 0:21:02.850 --> 0:21:03.640 of course, you know, 0:21:03.650 --> 0:21:05.139 like hair. Lots of secrets. 0:21:05.150 --> 0:21:07.440 Yeah, her palm. 0:21:07.650 --> 0:21:08.800 Yeah. 0:21:08.810 --> 0:21:11.909 Like, wow, so, so hot. You know that 0:21:11.910 --> 0:21:13.040 kind of thing. And 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:14.810 then maybe we don't meet each other for like maybe 0:21:14.820 --> 0:21:17.550 like four months because it's a low maintenance, right? And 0:21:17.550 --> 0:21:20.530 the next thing I know that together. And then I'll 0:21:20.530 --> 0:21:20.850 be like 0:21:20.859 --> 0:21:22.220 you the in between. 0:21:22.470 --> 0:21:22.930 Yeah, 0:21:22.940 --> 0:21:25.400 It just goes from 0-00. And by the way, this 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:27.670 is a summary. I'm getting married. I 0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:30.000 won't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised because that, that's 0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:32.410 what happened for me and like me and senior as well. 0:21:32.420 --> 0:21:32.630 Did 0:21:32.630 --> 0:21:34.470 you tell your bros that you were going to? 0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:37.790 Okay. So like over the span of, let's say over 0:21:37.790 --> 0:21:42.240 the span of, let's say, a year, I think I 0:21:42.250 --> 0:21:45.670 so maybe the first time before me and senior we 0:21:45.670 --> 0:21:47.190 got together, right? I said like, 0:21:48.020 --> 0:21:50.720 maybe I told them like, of course or 0:21:50.730 --> 0:21:51.669 less, no less. 0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:55.440 I think this girl is very suitable for me. Yeah. 0:21:55.450 --> 0:21:56.270 And suitable 0:21:56.270 --> 0:21:57.060 for me? Also, 0:21:57.070 --> 0:22:00.620 she is right for me. She's good for me. And 0:22:00.619 --> 0:22:02.619 then maybe like a couple of months later, it's like, okay, 0:22:02.619 --> 0:22:05.290 I really like this girl. Yeah. And next time it's like, okay, 0:22:05.290 --> 0:22:07.970 we're getting married. What? 0:22:07.980 --> 0:22:10.659 I don't get it for us. I can send a 0:22:10.660 --> 0:22:12.660 five minute voice note. 0:22:14.460 --> 0:22:17.050 Okay, you're watching right now? You don't get to judge. Okay. 0:22:17.050 --> 0:22:19.790 I know you're nodding away and you're probably agreeing with 0:22:19.790 --> 0:22:23.050 me on this. We can send each other like voice notes. 0:22:23.050 --> 0:22:25.400 And we're like analyzing it. And then we're like, so 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.640 what are your thoughts? Then they'll send back another five 0:22:27.650 --> 0:22:32.860 minute voice note and you want to meet later and 0:22:32.869 --> 0:22:35.100 we start all over again from the top, you know? 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:37.470 So that's just the way that some of our groups 0:22:37.470 --> 0:22:38.480 work I guess. 0:22:38.490 --> 0:22:41.609 That's nice love. But like also 0:22:41.609 --> 0:22:43.080 a waste of time is it? No, 0:22:43.080 --> 0:22:45.200 no, no definitely, definitely not a waste of time. I 0:22:45.200 --> 0:22:48.620 think it's like really sweet but I just find like 0:22:48.619 --> 0:22:50.370 there is a barrier like in 0:22:50.580 --> 0:22:52.530 in the world like the guys 0:22:52.540 --> 0:22:57.609 break that you only very few straight men that are 0:22:57.609 --> 0:23:01.389 in my group of friends have been able to really 0:23:01.400 --> 0:23:03.720 talk about this and yet at the same time they're 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.399 talking about it to us like to the girls. So 0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.230 I don't actually know whether he's talking about it this 0:23:08.230 --> 0:23:10.820 way to his bros. You know what I mean? 0:23:10.830 --> 0:23:12.949 I get it, I get it. Maybe maybe guys are 0:23:12.950 --> 0:23:17.510 just not in general are not great listeners to begin 0:23:17.510 --> 0:23:18.419 with is it? 0:23:18.430 --> 0:23:18.720 I 0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:21.060 don't know like maybe when you speak your partner about 0:23:21.070 --> 0:23:24.810 work issue like I think that the natural kind of 0:23:24.810 --> 0:23:27.129 like response for them is like okay do you do this? 0:23:27.140 --> 0:23:28.710 Have you done that? You know they want to solve 0:23:28.710 --> 0:23:29.810 things right, Right. 0:23:29.820 --> 0:23:30.960 But I think for girls 0:23:30.970 --> 0:23:34.970 right? You know what jerry is always like here's the solution. 0:23:34.970 --> 0:23:37.300 0.1 point 2.3 and I'm not looking for a solution. 0:23:37.300 --> 0:23:40.419 I just want you to hear me bitch. Like I understand, 0:23:40.430 --> 0:23:40.640 I 0:23:40.650 --> 0:23:43.490 understand. I think like for guys really that is the 0:23:43.490 --> 0:23:45.860 first thing that comes to our mind like 0:23:45.869 --> 0:23:46.159 you 0:23:46.290 --> 0:23:47.860 I want to try and fix the problem. 0:23:47.869 --> 0:23:49.890 I mean if you were to ever come to you 0:23:49.890 --> 0:23:52.940 know come okay But I mean I have learned how 0:23:52.940 --> 0:23:54.619 to try 0:23:54.619 --> 0:23:56.990 my best to endeavor to do my best to be 0:23:56.990 --> 0:23:59.630 a little bit more sensitive. Okay. Yeah at least listen. 0:23:59.630 --> 0:24:00.840 And then like maybe I'll ask her like do you 0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:03.290 want my advice or do you just want to like 0:24:03.310 --> 0:24:06.990 it here? Yeah but like in the world guys you 0:24:06.990 --> 0:24:10.740 don't do that one right? You don't like no usually 0:24:10.740 --> 0:24:14.130 just stripped like just 0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:15.230 quit the job. 0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:18.409 It's so simple. There's a solution to everything summarize 0:24:18.410 --> 0:24:20.180 lovely. Just summarize everything. Yeah. 0:24:20.190 --> 0:24:23.240 Okay I feel you on that. I don't disagree. Okay. 0:24:23.250 --> 0:24:26.909 The next one is it's quite similar to 0:24:27.220 --> 0:24:27.530 what 0:24:27.530 --> 0:24:30.889 I mentioned earlier but the other way. So if you 0:24:30.890 --> 0:24:35.130 catch a bro's wife or girlfriend or partner cheating, would 0:24:35.130 --> 0:24:37.290 you inform him straight away? 0:24:37.300 --> 0:24:38.760 Am I close to my bro 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:39.720 bro? Yeah 0:24:39.730 --> 0:24:40.420 partner. 0:24:40.430 --> 0:24:44.080 Oh okay that makes a difference. Also. Right okay. Let's 0:24:44.080 --> 0:24:47.440 say you just you just know her because you know 0:24:47.450 --> 0:24:50.280 she is your partner. You just know her through your 0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:51.750 bro. 0:24:52.670 --> 0:24:56.470 Okay then I'll see like where my bro is at 0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:59.639 in terms of like say um my mental 0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:01.640 health. Okay. See if you can handle it 0:25:01.650 --> 0:25:04.869 you know like because it's like with my usual rose right? 0:25:04.880 --> 0:25:08.550 Yeah I'll just I'll just tell him like 0:25:08.550 --> 0:25:09.550 maybe the 0:25:09.550 --> 0:25:11.930 most I do sit him down and and really give 0:25:11.930 --> 0:25:14.250 him some context and then tell him what I feel 0:25:14.250 --> 0:25:16.609 about it, what I saw. 0:25:17.140 --> 0:25:20.550 Um But I will never understand the boundary to tell, 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:22.990 tell him like why you gotta break out. You know, 0:25:23.000 --> 0:25:24.980 like you must break out. I would tell him like 0:25:24.980 --> 0:25:28.310 what I think he should do, maybe maybe what I 0:25:28.420 --> 0:25:31.370 should do. But more like if you don't do this right, 0:25:31.369 --> 0:25:33.460 what's gonna happen if you do that, what's gonna happen? 0:25:33.470 --> 0:25:34.750 And then let him decide for himself? 0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:37.790 And I think also that we mustn't forget a lot 0:25:37.790 --> 0:25:40.720 of couples have gone through situations like that partners cheating 0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:41.050 on each other, 0:25:41.060 --> 0:25:44.510 whether they try to mend it and they try to 0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:48.140 move forward. And sometimes it's successful in certain situations as well, 0:25:48.140 --> 0:25:50.060 like you never know what they're going through in their 0:25:50.060 --> 0:25:53.930 own personal life in that sense. Yeah. So it's very 0:25:53.930 --> 0:25:57.390 difficult to judge in these moments, right? But if you 0:25:57.390 --> 0:25:59.430 were in your shoes, would you want to know if 0:25:59.430 --> 0:26:02.870 your partner was spotted outside holding hands with someone or 0:26:02.880 --> 0:26:03.770 getting a bit too 0:26:03.770 --> 0:26:04.969 close to someone out there? 0:26:05.600 --> 0:26:10.260 I think well sometimes, you know, like ignorance is bliss, 0:26:10.260 --> 0:26:12.020 right? But that's the thing. 0:26:12.030 --> 0:26:17.160 Um I'd rather not hear from anyone else other than 0:26:17.160 --> 0:26:18.910 my partner, even if it's my brew, 0:26:18.920 --> 0:26:19.630 honestly. 0:26:19.640 --> 0:26:23.720 But I also understand that actually, 0:26:23.940 --> 0:26:25.300 I mean if your partner is never going to come 0:26:25.300 --> 0:26:28.220 clean to you and then your Bruno's about it. Actually, 0:26:28.220 --> 0:26:31.370 he kind of has a duty to break the news 0:26:31.369 --> 0:26:35.020 to you la but for me, my personal preferences that 0:26:35.020 --> 0:26:37.660 I'd rather not know about it. But if let's say 0:26:37.660 --> 0:26:40.409 like a friend, okay I'm just going to throw your example. 0:26:40.440 --> 0:26:42.870 My friend is with this girl, this girl is treating 0:26:42.869 --> 0:26:45.490 my friend and like he's let's say she's using him 0:26:45.490 --> 0:26:49.890 for like maybe personal gains like oh money or whatever. 0:26:49.900 --> 0:26:50.239 Then I'll 0:26:50.240 --> 0:26:52.500 just go straight, I'll 0:26:52.500 --> 0:26:55.190 go straight. I think I've told my, yeah my best 0:26:55.190 --> 0:26:56.930 friend a few times like wow this is 0:26:57.400 --> 0:26:58.310 I mean this girl is 0:26:58.320 --> 0:27:00.100 just like 0:27:00.109 --> 0:27:01.040 super reflect 0:27:01.050 --> 0:27:01.909 what was the result of 0:27:01.910 --> 0:27:03.580 that. You know guys like 0:27:05.950 --> 0:27:06.480 oh 0:27:06.490 --> 0:27:07.610 bro you're right. 0:27:07.619 --> 0:27:10.930 Oh my God that's it. I 0:27:10.940 --> 0:27:14.440 think I think guys especially like the bruises go like 0:27:14.450 --> 0:27:18.000 we don't ever force each other to make a decision 0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:20.590 or do something but we will just 0:27:21.250 --> 0:27:25.960 just be them like very copy bro. You should not, 0:27:25.960 --> 0:27:28.919 you should not know what really, you should, you should regret. 0:27:28.930 --> 0:27:29.030 You 0:27:29.030 --> 0:27:30.420 know that's 0:27:30.420 --> 0:27:32.440 how we pressure. I feel like girls are just 0:27:33.230 --> 0:27:35.210 You think of like one thing but you can say 0:27:35.210 --> 0:27:35.550 like 10 0:27:35.550 --> 0:27:36.750 things but we 0:27:36.750 --> 0:27:38.100 think of 10 things but we can 0:27:38.109 --> 0:27:39.550 say one thing, 0:27:39.800 --> 0:27:42.939 I think that is the hour where we kind of 0:27:42.940 --> 0:27:44.340 like four short life you 0:27:44.350 --> 0:27:48.030 know, But I think on the flip side we sometimes 0:27:48.030 --> 0:27:51.800 over analyze also you know for sometimes when we talk 0:27:51.800 --> 0:27:53.640 a bit too much about one thing, we might be 0:27:53.640 --> 0:27:55.550 breaking it down too much, we might over analyze and 0:27:55.550 --> 0:27:59.470 then cause other questions and other issues and then overthink 0:27:59.480 --> 0:28:02.399 and then spiral and then at the end, you know 0:28:02.410 --> 0:28:05.420 like your two wine bottles down and no solution. 0:28:06.080 --> 0:28:10.750 That sounds familiar. Yes. Okay. The next one is actually 0:28:10.750 --> 0:28:12.869 examples of girl quotes. 0:28:12.880 --> 0:28:13.500 Okay. I 0:28:13.500 --> 0:28:15.679 don't know if you will, maybe I'll have more to 0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:17.619 say about this, but see if you have anything you 0:28:17.619 --> 0:28:20.929 can contribute to this one. Okay, so unspoken girl code 0:28:20.940 --> 0:28:23.530 rules always check in when your girl is on a 0:28:23.530 --> 0:28:26.730 date with a new guy. Yes, I agree with that. 0:28:26.740 --> 0:28:27.790 Okay. Yeah. 0:28:27.800 --> 0:28:31.350 Um Never let your girlfriend go to the bathroom alone 0:28:31.350 --> 0:28:34.020 especially when she's drunk. It's true. I think all my 0:28:34.020 --> 0:28:35.690 girlfriends take good care of each other, 0:28:35.830 --> 0:28:37.890 especially at clubs and all that kind of stuff 0:28:37.900 --> 0:28:38.750 agree. 0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:41.410 Never flirt with your friends crush or boyfriend. 0:28:41.420 --> 0:28:42.340 Yeah, for 0:28:42.340 --> 0:28:46.010 sure. For sure. Have you ever experienced this before? 0:28:46.020 --> 0:28:49.810 I think I did like like and it's just so 0:28:49.810 --> 0:28:51.550 awkward because 0:28:52.080 --> 0:28:54.470 no. Okay. There's a girl called. 0:28:54.510 --> 0:28:55.080 Yeah, 0:28:55.360 --> 0:28:56.350 but it can be, 0:28:56.360 --> 0:28:58.210 can be the other way. Can be the other way. Yes, 0:28:58.220 --> 0:29:00.830 for sure. What if the tables were turned, How would 0:29:00.830 --> 0:29:01.240 you feel about 0:29:01.240 --> 0:29:02.550 that? Have you experienced this? 0:29:02.560 --> 0:29:04.410 You mean like someone else's partner? 0:29:04.420 --> 0:29:06.160 Let me be like you're interested in someone then like 0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:08.060 your your girlfriend just 0:29:08.070 --> 0:29:09.320 like 0:29:09.320 --> 0:29:11.250 she overzealous wing woman. 0:29:11.260 --> 0:29:16.710 No, no, not exactly, but a friend's boyfriend has flirted 0:29:16.710 --> 0:29:18.090 before. 0:29:18.240 --> 0:29:19.900 Yeah. Which was quite messed 0:29:19.900 --> 0:29:23.870 up. Like overly friendly or kind of like 0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:27.970 it was kind of borderline with like borderline anyway. Like 0:29:27.970 --> 0:29:30.520 they're not together anymore. Not because of me though. Like 0:29:30.520 --> 0:29:32.850 I think it's just his own, their own problems or whatever. 0:29:32.860 --> 0:29:35.790 So how how can you tell if someone is like flirting? 0:29:36.100 --> 0:29:39.090 I think it was also under the influence of alcohol, right? 0:29:39.100 --> 0:29:43.060 People tend to get very, you know? Yeah, you kind 0:29:43.060 --> 0:29:46.690 of like lose control of, I don't know, thinking yourself 0:29:46.700 --> 0:29:49.330 and you don't think too much. But he was saying 0:29:49.340 --> 0:29:51.970 like some suggestive things 0:29:51.980 --> 0:29:52.880 like sexual stuff 0:29:52.890 --> 0:29:55.800 in a more private setting, like, hey, do you 0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:57.590 wanna um 0:29:57.990 --> 0:30:01.510 Yes, so apparently like I wasn't the only person that 0:30:01.510 --> 0:30:04.410 he was talking like this to like other girlfriends also 0:30:04.410 --> 0:30:04.900 said 0:30:05.100 --> 0:30:07.730 that he will be like that. But maybe 0:30:08.650 --> 0:30:11.090 no, but like if the person is drunk and he 0:30:11.090 --> 0:30:12.190 does that right then. 0:30:12.200 --> 0:30:13.420 But it's not an excuse though, right? 0:30:13.430 --> 0:30:15.860 No, it's not. It's like, it just amplifies what he's 0:30:15.860 --> 0:30:16.560 been hiding, right? 0:30:16.560 --> 0:30:17.570 What he's really thinking, 0:30:17.580 --> 0:30:19.830 isn't it? I don't know like when you're drunk, usually 0:30:19.830 --> 0:30:21.290 you will be a little bit more truthful. 0:30:21.300 --> 0:30:23.670 It's true in a way, in a way, but you're 0:30:23.670 --> 0:30:26.960 also unconscious, right? So I don't know whether you mean it, 0:30:26.970 --> 0:30:30.420 I feel like whatever. There's sit when the person is drunk, right? 0:30:30.420 --> 0:30:30.690 There's 0:30:30.700 --> 0:30:31.640 always 0:30:31.820 --> 0:30:32.390 something 0:30:32.490 --> 0:30:35.500 truth. Maybe he's already been thinking of some things. Is 0:30:35.500 --> 0:30:36.490 that why you don't drink so 0:30:36.490 --> 0:30:38.460 much. I don't like to lose control myself. 0:30:38.470 --> 0:30:40.610 That's really good actually. I really like that. 0:30:40.620 --> 0:30:43.830 I mean, because I never know like what I'm going 0:30:43.830 --> 0:30:47.020 to do and I don't like that feeling. Yeah, I 0:30:47.020 --> 0:30:49.350 want to be in control myself. I just, but of 0:30:49.350 --> 0:30:51.170 course I have been like drunk, but in the setting 0:30:51.170 --> 0:30:51.890 of my own house 0:30:52.020 --> 0:30:54.420 amongst people that you trust and 0:30:54.430 --> 0:30:56.100 just like myself. 0:30:56.110 --> 0:30:57.200 Okay. I want to 0:30:57.200 --> 0:30:59.140 see how I react when I'm drunk. 0:30:59.150 --> 0:30:59.690 Okay, 0:30:59.700 --> 0:31:02.720 video, video, video. We need 0:31:02.730 --> 0:31:06.310 long deleted. Okay, I'll say this kind of thing. So 0:31:06.870 --> 0:31:09.310 I don't know anyone who has done that ever 0:31:09.320 --> 0:31:11.700 because I want to know how I am like when 0:31:11.700 --> 0:31:13.740 I'm drunk, but okay, of course it would be different 0:31:13.740 --> 0:31:15.620 if my friends are around. I'm sure 0:31:15.630 --> 0:31:17.900 that's very interesting. I'm going to do that some day, 0:31:17.910 --> 0:31:19.120 but I have a feeling I don't want to watch 0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:19.940 that footage. 0:31:19.950 --> 0:31:21.140 I'm sure you wouldn't 0:31:21.150 --> 0:31:24.460 go to clown after you watch it. You're like, goodbye 0:31:24.460 --> 0:31:25.740 alcohol forever, is it? 0:31:25.750 --> 0:31:27.000 Yeah, for sure. 0:31:27.210 --> 0:31:29.410 Yeah. But you know what, going back to that question, 0:31:29.420 --> 0:31:32.190 Maybe a bro, Okay, let's exclude alcoholic. He's a little 0:31:32.190 --> 0:31:36.410 bit more like, um, showing signs to my partner. 0:31:36.420 --> 0:31:37.950 Okay, Like being a little too, 0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:40.860 you know, and then I'm a very straightforward person. Okay, 0:31:40.870 --> 0:31:43.660 I will call him out, but maybe not in front 0:31:43.660 --> 0:31:45.870 of everyone like him aside, 0:31:45.870 --> 0:31:47.229 like, like 0:31:47.240 --> 0:31:50.390 what's going on? You, you know, 0:31:50.550 --> 0:31:52.729 once again, very direct, 0:31:52.740 --> 0:31:55.740 like what you're trying to do. Yeah, but I have 0:31:55.740 --> 0:31:59.860 met with situations like that. but I think most of 0:31:59.870 --> 0:32:03.260 my friends in my growth like friend circles, like they 0:32:03.260 --> 0:32:04.740 are very well controlled people 0:32:04.960 --> 0:32:07.500 and you guys respect each other I'm sure. 0:32:07.510 --> 0:32:10.050 Yeah. If like I mean one were to step out 0:32:10.050 --> 0:32:13.440 of line or then bye bye wow. Yeah, I think 0:32:13.440 --> 0:32:14.870 I'm very, yeah, 0:32:14.880 --> 0:32:16.450 straight to the point. 0:32:16.780 --> 0:32:19.060 That's yeah, that's a good and bad thing. Yeah. 0:32:19.070 --> 0:32:22.780 Okay. The next question is you're not allowed to have 0:32:22.780 --> 0:32:25.350 sex with someone your friend has had sex with before, 0:32:25.360 --> 0:32:26.930 you're not allowed to have sex with 0:32:26.930 --> 0:32:29.469 someone that your friend has banked before, 0:32:29.480 --> 0:32:31.060 wow. 0:32:31.070 --> 0:32:33.660 In your friend group. No, this has never happened. Okay, 0:32:33.660 --> 0:32:36.680 so I'll give you an example. Sure not me, not me, 0:32:36.680 --> 0:32:39.420 but another group of friends like. Yeah, 0:32:39.670 --> 0:32:40.530 so it's just a group of 0:32:40.530 --> 0:32:41.530 guys 0:32:41.540 --> 0:32:46.220 um And one of the girls that was introduced to 0:32:46.230 --> 0:32:49.790 this group was actually dating one of them initially and 0:32:49.790 --> 0:32:52.700 then she got introduced to this group um Obviously she's 0:32:52.700 --> 0:32:53.320 already bang this 0:32:53.320 --> 0:32:54.790 guy, but 0:32:54.790 --> 0:32:57.540 she ended up getting together with another guy in the 0:32:57.540 --> 0:32:59.890 same group and 0:32:59.900 --> 0:33:02.880 also start with him. So then the two guys are 0:33:02.880 --> 0:33:03.490 still bros 0:33:03.490 --> 0:33:04.810 though, They're 0:33:04.810 --> 0:33:07.240 still friends. Is that weird? 0:33:07.250 --> 0:33:08.140 I think so 0:33:08.150 --> 0:33:10.930 it's weird. Is it I found it a little strange 0:33:10.930 --> 0:33:13.940 but was there a relationship that kind of blossomed after 0:33:13.940 --> 0:33:16.370 that or was it? What? What? I 0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:20.110 Know, so she actually got together with the 2nd guy. 0:33:20.120 --> 0:33:23.380 Yeah after that, so the guy that actually introduced her 0:33:23.380 --> 0:33:26.090 to the group didn't end up with her, but he 0:33:26.090 --> 0:33:27.360 did say that they hooked 0:33:27.360 --> 0:33:28.830 up and 0:33:28.970 --> 0:33:31.610 the other books like, okay, he got over in like 0:33:31.610 --> 0:33:35.250 five seconds. I don't know what the mentality is behind 0:33:35.250 --> 0:33:37.670 it or whether that's something you might keep in your 0:33:37.670 --> 0:33:38.320 mind for a long 0:33:38.320 --> 0:33:40.340 time. I 0:33:40.530 --> 0:33:45.030 okay, I'm not the best person to talk about this 0:33:45.040 --> 0:33:48.580 because like, I I feel like, okay, no more. I 0:33:48.580 --> 0:33:52.990 don't believe in that one extent. I just cannot get 0:33:52.990 --> 0:33:53.830 that concept. 0:33:53.840 --> 0:33:54.709 Okay, 0:33:54.720 --> 0:33:56.780 you have to be like, really drunk. I don't know. 0:33:56.780 --> 0:33:57.420 I really don't know. 0:33:57.720 --> 0:34:01.390 But like, if, let's say, my friend has an ex 0:34:01.390 --> 0:34:04.020 partner that like, of course they had like, maybe like 0:34:04.030 --> 0:34:08.650 intimacy with before and I were to be with that 0:34:08.660 --> 0:34:11.460 partner after they like, broken up. Right? I will find 0:34:11.460 --> 0:34:12.330 it weird. Or so 0:34:12.340 --> 0:34:13.190 it would be strange. 0:34:13.190 --> 0:34:15.530 It would be really strange, but I don't think it is. 0:34:15.540 --> 0:34:19.570 It's like a no, no, nothing. It's just it would 0:34:19.570 --> 0:34:23.960 be weird. Like there will there will 0:34:24.100 --> 0:34:24.420 be 0:34:24.420 --> 0:34:28.090 images of not just so you know what we're going 0:34:28.090 --> 0:34:28.400 to say, 0:34:28.410 --> 0:34:30.969 like, you know, when we're hanging out together, then there 0:34:30.969 --> 0:34:32.690 will always be this attention 0:34:33.080 --> 0:34:33.450 is doing 0:34:33.450 --> 0:34:35.270 a flash kind of thing. Like yeah, 0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:37.700 like some tension that you can't get rid of you. 0:34:37.710 --> 0:34:40.290 Maybe you think like, wow, am I better sex or 0:34:40.290 --> 0:34:40.690 you better? 0:34:41.030 --> 0:34:42.280 Right? 0:34:42.280 --> 0:34:44.560 I mean, these are possible. Never happened to me before. 0:34:44.980 --> 0:34:46.840 Disclaimer. I really 0:34:46.840 --> 0:34:47.630 I really don't know, 0:34:47.630 --> 0:34:50.030 But the 10th disclaimer, Sean has done, you 0:34:50.030 --> 0:34:50.460 know, just 0:34:50.469 --> 0:34:55.680 disclaiming, but I mean like, I think guys will over 0:34:55.690 --> 0:34:57.710 kind of like think about these kind of things also 0:34:57.719 --> 0:34:58.200 like 0:34:58.210 --> 0:35:00.930 it would definitely put a strain on the relations of 0:35:00.940 --> 0:35:01.690 friendship 0:35:01.700 --> 0:35:02.410 for 0:35:02.830 --> 0:35:03.450 sure. 0:35:03.460 --> 0:35:07.799 Um but this will be very unspoken, Yeah, in fact 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:09.790 we might not even bring it up, but it's just 0:35:10.500 --> 0:35:13.740 this, this reminded me of a situation in the past, 0:35:13.739 --> 0:35:15.790 so it's in the same group of in the group 0:35:15.790 --> 0:35:16.540 of girlfriends 0:35:17.010 --> 0:35:20.180 and one of the girls was actually quite crazy about 0:35:20.180 --> 0:35:24.300 this guy that she met at a party and they 0:35:24.300 --> 0:35:26.980 seemed like they were getting on well they were meeting 0:35:26.980 --> 0:35:28.890 quite a lot, you know, sometimes he would come and 0:35:28.890 --> 0:35:32.200 join us and all that, but they were never exclusively dating, 0:35:32.210 --> 0:35:34.350 they never said that they were dating, it was just 0:35:34.350 --> 0:35:38.310 casual and then we came out as a group again 0:35:38.320 --> 0:35:40.890 the next time where this guy was introduced to r 0:35:40.890 --> 0:35:44.030 bigger group of friends and he started hitting on another 0:35:44.030 --> 0:35:44.759 girl in the 0:35:44.760 --> 0:35:45.390 group. 0:35:45.410 --> 0:35:47.230 Oh, alright, yeah, 0:35:47.239 --> 0:35:49.960 like he was quite open about it, so he didn't, 0:35:49.969 --> 0:35:53.050 he didn't talk about the exclusivity with the other girl 0:35:53.060 --> 0:35:58.270 or anything. But anyway, instead of girl getting angry with him, 0:35:58.280 --> 0:36:00.339 she actually got angry with her friend, 0:36:00.350 --> 0:36:01.509 so 0:36:01.510 --> 0:36:04.350 she actually turned around and said like you already knew 0:36:04.350 --> 0:36:07.070 that I am into this guy, so why did you 0:36:07.070 --> 0:36:08.500 go ahead and talk to 0:36:08.500 --> 0:36:10.670 him? You 0:36:10.670 --> 0:36:13.270 know what I mean? So instead of directing her anger 0:36:13.270 --> 0:36:13.790 at the 0:36:13.810 --> 0:36:17.690 she's like directing at a friend instead and their relationship 0:36:17.690 --> 0:36:19.880 was like never the same again after that, but 0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:20.850 I agree. Do 0:36:20.860 --> 0:36:22.020 you agree? So 0:36:22.020 --> 0:36:23.940 the new girl like she knows about like 0:36:23.950 --> 0:36:27.410 she doesn't really I mean she kind of knows yet 0:36:27.420 --> 0:36:30.210 doesn't really know, but nothing really happened. He was just 0:36:30.219 --> 0:36:32.270 being very friendly with her and ask her for her 0:36:32.270 --> 0:36:35.250 phone number and I think she didn't realize that they 0:36:35.250 --> 0:36:36.590 were dating or something. 0:36:36.600 --> 0:36:39.120 I feel like a girl and guy, right? Like they 0:36:39.120 --> 0:36:42.190 had something exclusive and they talked about 0:36:42.210 --> 0:36:46.310 and if the third party knew about it right, then 0:36:46.320 --> 0:36:47.390 I think it's wrong for her 0:36:47.390 --> 0:36:48.430 to 0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:50.739 like she is not wrong, but it's like breaking the 0:36:50.739 --> 0:36:52.050 girl code, you know, 0:36:52.060 --> 0:36:54.569 okay, but then the guy is not in the wrong 0:36:54.660 --> 0:36:55.230 guy 0:36:55.239 --> 0:36:58.740 is I mean, so I think it comes down to 0:36:58.739 --> 0:37:02.509 like have they established this exclusivity because if they haven't 0:37:02.510 --> 0:37:04.609 then I feel like everyone is free to do what 0:37:04.610 --> 0:37:06.060 they want your shot with anyone 0:37:06.070 --> 0:37:08.440 because like you know maybe less I go on a 0:37:08.450 --> 0:37:10.370 date with you right? And for me, I want to 0:37:10.370 --> 0:37:10.590 get to 0:37:10.610 --> 0:37:13.239 no you before you, wow, I want to marry 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:14.090 this guy. I 0:37:14.100 --> 0:37:17.650 think that's where we start off is wrong and whatever 0:37:17.650 --> 0:37:20.950 happens next after that like I shouldn't be accountable for 0:37:20.950 --> 0:37:21.799 what your thoughts are 0:37:21.810 --> 0:37:22.760 true, true. 0:37:22.770 --> 0:37:26.430 So I feel all these things must be kind of 0:37:26.430 --> 0:37:27.799 like communicated well 0:37:27.980 --> 0:37:28.799 and also 0:37:28.810 --> 0:37:31.810 if the girl and I mean the two girls are friends, 0:37:31.820 --> 0:37:36.600 you guys should talk about that right? But if it 0:37:36.600 --> 0:37:38.560 is already communicated like wow this girl, I really like 0:37:38.560 --> 0:37:39.010 that guy, 0:37:39.140 --> 0:37:40.580 but then that goes to reciprocate 0:37:40.620 --> 0:37:41.640 again, then 0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:43.650 I think it's pretty messy. I think that's wrong. 0:37:43.660 --> 0:37:46.230 Okay, well I mean you know talking about friendship and 0:37:46.230 --> 0:37:48.140 all that kind of stuff also, you know before we 0:37:48.140 --> 0:37:51.600 wrap it up brings me to the question of morals, right? 0:37:51.610 --> 0:37:55.210 So if you are in a friend group and you 0:37:55.210 --> 0:37:57.710 know you guys talk about everything, is it very important 0:37:57.710 --> 0:38:02.200 to you that everyone shares the same or similar moral values. 0:38:02.880 --> 0:38:06.750 You know like if you had a really close friend 0:38:06.750 --> 0:38:08.390 but he's 0:38:08.390 --> 0:38:11.140 like a player like that doesn't really sit with sit 0:38:11.140 --> 0:38:14.770 well with your own values and morals, would you continue 0:38:14.780 --> 0:38:16.220 being friends with him? You know? 0:38:16.830 --> 0:38:19.920 Okay, so like I feel like if there are any 0:38:19.930 --> 0:38:23.980 um any new group of friends or new group of 0:38:23.989 --> 0:38:28.879 bros that I were to meet and all that, I 0:38:28.880 --> 0:38:32.200 feel like that is a must 0:38:32.210 --> 0:38:33.290 to be on the same page 0:38:33.290 --> 0:38:34.370 to be on the same page. Like 0:38:34.690 --> 0:38:38.049 um like the way we think about money, the way 0:38:38.050 --> 0:38:41.280 we think about relationships, I feel like we should be 0:38:41.290 --> 0:38:44.100 yellow on the same page because I feel like you 0:38:44.100 --> 0:38:45.190 are who you hang out 0:38:45.190 --> 0:38:47.750 with, yeah you're the average of the five people to 0:38:47.750 --> 0:38:48.600 hang out with, correct 0:38:48.600 --> 0:38:51.050 and like the books you read and the people you meet, 0:38:51.060 --> 0:38:55.560 you turn you to become that person. And I feel 0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:59.640 like if there is a group of friends that is new, 0:38:59.650 --> 0:39:02.569 we have to be on the same page. Yeah. Like 0:39:02.580 --> 0:39:03.719 for example, I don't 0:39:03.850 --> 0:39:09.680 I don't condone. For example, like great example. I I 0:39:09.690 --> 0:39:10.049 don't know 0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:12.440 like maybe in their group of friends, I will look 0:39:12.440 --> 0:39:15.290 for the same things. But if it's like my friends 0:39:15.290 --> 0:39:17.360 from like childhood, right? Obviously we grow up a little 0:39:17.360 --> 0:39:19.000 bit different, have different lives 0:39:19.000 --> 0:39:19.810 and all that. I 0:39:19.820 --> 0:39:24.120 can condone like whatever new thoughts that they may have. 0:39:24.400 --> 0:39:26.770 Yeah, but like maybe not to the point where by 0:39:26.780 --> 0:39:31.080 I really, really like object um let's say like my 0:39:31.080 --> 0:39:33.140 friends would come and tell me like, well I like 0:39:33.150 --> 0:39:34.900 what's morally wrong? I enjoy cheating. 0:39:34.910 --> 0:39:37.609 Okay, I don't think has anyone ever said, I don't 0:39:37.610 --> 0:39:39.279 think anyone has rightly said that. 0:39:39.290 --> 0:39:42.240 I believe that I should have multiple partners. You know, 0:39:42.239 --> 0:39:43.320 I'm like 0:39:43.320 --> 0:39:45.530 mary woman turned me on or something. I don't know. 0:39:45.640 --> 0:39:48.400 Look at it. Look at a pregnant lady. 0:39:48.410 --> 0:39:51.640 Wait, what? We were not pregnant, you 0:39:51.739 --> 0:39:54.420 married woman? You know? And then they get all like, wow, 0:39:54.430 --> 0:39:56.660 you know, pharaoh and horny and all that, right? Then 0:39:56.670 --> 0:39:59.650 maybe you 0:39:59.650 --> 0:40:02.510 might just be like, it's a situational basis sort of thing. 0:40:02.520 --> 0:40:06.879 So on that note, have you ever ended a friendship 0:40:07.230 --> 0:40:12.280 because you don't align with your friend's beliefs, morals or 0:40:12.290 --> 0:40:15.109 you just can't agree with what he's doing. 0:40:15.120 --> 0:40:17.109 You 0:40:17.110 --> 0:40:17.480 have 0:40:17.489 --> 0:40:18.489 I have I have you 0:40:18.489 --> 0:40:19.400 have, how did that go? 0:40:19.410 --> 0:40:21.870 I mean I'm like I said I'm a very straightforward person, 0:40:21.880 --> 0:40:23.279 very direct, very direct 0:40:23.280 --> 0:40:26.880 and when I feel like someone is um 0:40:27.600 --> 0:40:29.859 I don't want you to be toxic but maybe not 0:40:29.870 --> 0:40:32.950 um not just not good for me, you know he 0:40:32.950 --> 0:40:35.210 can be a good bro to another person but maybe 0:40:35.219 --> 0:40:38.870 if it's not for me I will just kind of 0:40:38.870 --> 0:40:39.180 like 0:40:39.380 --> 0:40:40.750 how do you end a friendship? 0:40:40.760 --> 0:40:42.770 I mean if I have to kind of tell him 0:40:42.770 --> 0:40:44.770 that I'll just tell him all that like you know 0:40:44.770 --> 0:40:45.530 what I feel like 0:40:45.810 --> 0:40:46.540 this isn't working. 0:40:46.540 --> 0:40:47.880 Yeah it's 0:40:47.880 --> 0:40:50.560 like a break up break up break up. 0:40:50.570 --> 0:40:55.310 I think I think maybe more like if there if 0:40:55.310 --> 0:40:58.110 nothing happened like there's no trigger but I just feel 0:40:58.110 --> 0:41:00.170 like I want to pull out of it, I would 0:41:00.170 --> 0:41:04.080 just kind of like goes the person, if the person 0:41:04.080 --> 0:41:06.610 would ask me like why we ever hang out bro, 0:41:06.610 --> 0:41:08.400 you know why we go to supper and I'll just 0:41:08.400 --> 0:41:10.410 say like no thank you. Like 0:41:10.700 --> 0:41:13.170 I think it's nice to know you a lot but 0:41:13.170 --> 0:41:15.840 like you know if let's say this period of my 0:41:15.840 --> 0:41:20.790 life I might not wanna hang out too much with 0:41:20.800 --> 0:41:23.280 a person like yourself. Ah I think I've said that 0:41:23.280 --> 0:41:25.080 before but not a lot of times like usually I 0:41:25.080 --> 0:41:26.310 just goes to the person 0:41:26.320 --> 0:41:30.790 I think like the gesture of not really responding or 0:41:30.790 --> 0:41:31.779 ghosting or not 0:41:31.950 --> 0:41:35.819 anticipating in their group gatherings in itself is already a sign, 0:41:35.820 --> 0:41:37.570 right? It's a signal 0:41:37.570 --> 0:41:38.799 like that. 0:41:38.810 --> 0:41:39.810 I just don't 0:41:39.810 --> 0:41:44.160 prioritize this group or this person anymore and perhaps this 0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:47.350 group or this person doesn't make me feel treasured or 0:41:47.360 --> 0:41:50.310 good as a person as a friend, you know? And 0:41:50.320 --> 0:41:52.980 there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong about it. I think 0:41:53.390 --> 0:41:57.400 maybe like as we move into adulthood right? Maybe. 0:41:57.780 --> 0:42:00.880 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I 0:42:00.890 --> 0:42:03.630 know but like you know maybe as 0:42:03.630 --> 0:42:04.489 you mature 0:42:04.610 --> 0:42:07.290 mature or like maybe some younger audience they might still 0:42:07.290 --> 0:42:10.310 have a little bit of issue letting go of friendships, 0:42:10.320 --> 0:42:14.660 certain relationships actually I would say that like it's just 0:42:14.660 --> 0:42:14.870 very 0:42:14.890 --> 0:42:18.600 normal to move on from certain groups of friends. 0:42:18.610 --> 0:42:21.660 It's very true and as you get older as well 0:42:21.670 --> 0:42:25.430 your friend group kind of goes smaller in size slowly 0:42:25.430 --> 0:42:26.870 and gradually. Right? 0:42:26.880 --> 0:42:30.190 Yeah and I think that's absolutely normal but like it 0:42:30.190 --> 0:42:33.250 depends on how much you want to keep hold of 0:42:33.360 --> 0:42:36.370 um certain friendship with my best friends, 0:42:36.390 --> 0:42:37.580 it's the three of us. Right, 0:42:37.590 --> 0:42:39.880 okay, here we go. Yes, give me their names and 0:42:39.890 --> 0:42:40.529 birth dates. 0:42:40.540 --> 0:42:41.340 I 0:42:41.350 --> 0:42:42.719 know 0:42:42.730 --> 0:42:45.910 but for so we don't really talk to each other 0:42:45.910 --> 0:42:50.650 about like very touchy stuff but there was once one 0:42:50.650 --> 0:42:52.779 of them actually asked me outline and then we went 0:42:52.780 --> 0:42:55.400 to a nearby like Petruchio, sit down there in Maggie 0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:57.430 and just talk about life and he was just sharing 0:42:57.430 --> 0:42:57.890 that like 0:42:58.400 --> 0:43:02.000 out of the blue, like I've been facing a little 0:43:02.000 --> 0:43:05.569 bit of trouble and then as a guy, trouble, what 0:43:05.570 --> 0:43:06.220 you need, you come and 0:43:08.410 --> 0:43:08.989 but 0:43:08.989 --> 0:43:12.300 then he started showing me like I've been like, I 0:43:12.310 --> 0:43:15.090 find it very difficult to sleep, you know? And I've 0:43:15.100 --> 0:43:18.000 been through like a very depressive cycle. 0:43:18.010 --> 0:43:18.940 Yeah, 0:43:18.950 --> 0:43:20.569 so that was the 0:43:21.110 --> 0:43:22.730 I have to share this story because I feel like 0:43:22.730 --> 0:43:25.069 that's the first time I ever felt like my friend 0:43:25.070 --> 0:43:27.299 was vulnerable to me, even though I've been his best 0:43:27.300 --> 0:43:30.480 friend for like back then, like maybe like what, 12, 13, 0:43:30.480 --> 0:43:32.779 14 years and 0:43:32.790 --> 0:43:35.120 never feel like incorrect 0:43:35.150 --> 0:43:37.810 and maybe like through the years we drifted apart, we 0:43:37.810 --> 0:43:39.710 close to each other, we drifted apart. We come back 0:43:39.710 --> 0:43:41.820 because we had never like talked about this country. 0:43:42.000 --> 0:43:43.620 So 0:43:43.630 --> 0:43:46.779 that moment was quite special for me as a brewer, right? 0:43:46.780 --> 0:43:48.560 Because he 0:43:48.580 --> 0:43:51.450 kind of like, number one, I've never seen him so vulnerable. 0:43:51.460 --> 0:43:56.200 Number two, I felt like I was partly responsible because 0:43:56.210 --> 0:44:00.359 I drifted away and I never like kind of like 0:44:00.380 --> 0:44:01.030 reached 0:44:01.030 --> 0:44:02.790 out, How are you? You know, I just assume that 0:44:02.790 --> 0:44:05.640 everything is fine if you don't talk about it. But guys, 0:44:05.650 --> 0:44:08.100 you know, I think was very real. 0:44:08.110 --> 0:44:09.220 I 0:44:09.230 --> 0:44:11.460 know like it's very hard to talk to, you know, 0:44:11.460 --> 0:44:14.690 to to another bro about your feelings, your mental health 0:44:14.690 --> 0:44:15.410 and all that. But 0:44:15.880 --> 0:44:18.680 I think we should try to, we should try 0:44:18.680 --> 0:44:19.760 to be more expressive, more 0:44:19.760 --> 0:44:22.670 expressive because the moment I heard about that, right? Actually 0:44:22.680 --> 0:44:26.410 I didn't cry a lot of course because a bit 0:44:26.410 --> 0:44:29.890 pricey but my heartstrings were a little bit like, 0:44:29.900 --> 0:44:30.570 yeah. 0:44:30.580 --> 0:44:33.260 You know, if only I knew, you know, could I 0:44:33.260 --> 0:44:34.540 have done something better? 0:44:34.850 --> 0:44:38.230 Yeah. Why did I drift away for a while? That 0:44:38.230 --> 0:44:41.710 kind of feeling? Yeah. Sorry, I just had to share that. 0:44:41.710 --> 0:44:44.750 That's a great story actually. And I think to summarize 0:44:44.760 --> 0:44:47.980 or rather to wrap that portion up, I think it 0:44:47.980 --> 0:44:50.790 doesn't hurt to just drop someone a message today and 0:44:50.790 --> 0:44:53.219 ask them like how you doing, how's it going or 0:44:53.219 --> 0:44:55.319 even if it's someone that you lost touch with, you know, 0:44:55.320 --> 0:44:57.230 it could be like, hey, just checking in or reaching 0:44:57.230 --> 0:44:57.950 out and 0:44:58.090 --> 0:45:01.270 I think you definitely did that probably moving forward. 0:45:01.300 --> 0:45:02.090 I did 0:45:02.100 --> 0:45:03.830 closer to you now. Like 0:45:03.840 --> 0:45:07.450 I do, I mean like it's still a low maintenance friendship. Yes. 0:45:07.460 --> 0:45:10.319 But I think it makes talking about these things easier. 0:45:10.330 --> 0:45:12.550 It's true. It's like a cactus, right? Like you don't 0:45:12.550 --> 0:45:14.790 really have to water it so much. It's quickly on 0:45:14.790 --> 0:45:18.520 the outside, but like can sustain on its own. Yeah. Okay. 0:45:18.530 --> 0:45:19.000 Got you. 0:45:19.010 --> 0:45:22.069 Just compared your bestie to a cactus but it's all good. 0:45:22.080 --> 0:45:24.510 Thanks so much for joining us on this episode. 0:45:24.790 --> 0:45:25.290 Thank 0:45:25.290 --> 0:45:27.480 you so much for listening to this episode of men 0:45:27.480 --> 0:45:30.630 explain if you enjoyed it, please hit the follow button. 0:45:30.640 --> 0:45:33.310 Were available on Spotify and Apple podcasts. 0:45:33.320 --> 0:45:36.560 Also follow its clarity dot co on instagram and Tiktok 0:45:36.560 --> 0:45:38.689 for more content like this. Okay, so see you guys 0:45:38.690 --> 0:45:39.920 next episode. Bye.