Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Men explain. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure you'll be quite excited about today's guest because I
Speaker 1: heard he's been voted one of the handsomest faces at
Speaker 1: this point in time?
Speaker 1: Please welcome Sean Tia. What's up?
Speaker 2: Hello? Thanks sonia. Hello everyone. My name is Sean, I'm
Speaker 2: an actor and I'm also a content creator um and
Speaker 2: a full time dot parent
Speaker 1: Lawrence. Okay, Okay. And you are what, Top 100 most
Speaker 1: handsome faces or something
Speaker 2: who
Speaker 1: did that research?
Speaker 2: No, So like there was this day, I just got
Speaker 2: like a notification on my social media there. Like, so
Speaker 2: I think this competition called TC candler Okay, and
Speaker 1: you got voted in? Great congrats, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Have a very symmetrical phase.
Speaker 2: I don't every do you look at my eyes like,
Speaker 2: you know,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't think it's pretty much the same,
Speaker 1: but today's topic is going to be quite interesting because
Speaker 1: I feel like we don't really talk about this that much.
Speaker 1: Us girls, we have a lot. We chat a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, we're always gossiping,
Speaker 1: telling each other our deepest darkest secrets. And I've always
Speaker 1: wondered at the back of my mind whether men have
Speaker 1: similar conversations in there bro groups, you know? And more
Speaker 1: often than not, I met with this sentence, like it's
Speaker 1: the bro code, I won't tell like, you know, like
Speaker 1: we won't tell on our bros and all that. So
Speaker 1: I wanted to sort of unpack the whole concept of
Speaker 1: male friendships and the bro code.
Speaker 1: How do guys maintain their friendships? You know, so that
Speaker 1: exist for you though. right? It
Speaker 2: does it does but like maybe a bit of disclaimer
Speaker 2: out there is that I I so this bro code
Speaker 2: thing I mean is there we all know about it
Speaker 2: but like I don't know if I'm the best person
Speaker 2: to talk about it also because I feel like I
Speaker 2: tread between like it's important and it's not important at
Speaker 2: the same time. So I come from a very neutral
Speaker 2: point of view if that makes sense. Yeah but like
Speaker 2: the bro code,
Speaker 2: I mean do we have examples?
Speaker 1: Okay I'll give you an example, let's just say you
Speaker 1: and your best friend, your best guy friend okay he's
Speaker 1: in a relationship and you also know his partner
Speaker 2: okay
Speaker 1: and you guys hang on the same group all that.
Speaker 1: But because he was your best friend first, he confided
Speaker 1: in you and he told you he's so you know
Speaker 1: I've been cheating on so and so
Speaker 2: that's a very heavy
Speaker 1: and yeah let's do
Speaker 2: it. Let's do it.
Speaker 1: So so then in that case it's a bit of
Speaker 1: a moral dilemma.
Speaker 2: What
Speaker 1: would you do in that?
Speaker 1: Because you have to keep this friendship? I don't know
Speaker 1: bro code with him, you won't just go and tell
Speaker 1: his partner about it even though you're friends with with
Speaker 1: her right? So what would you do in such a
Speaker 2: situation? I have a similar like a group of friends
Speaker 2: that I hang out. So I have like different group
Speaker 2: of friends and I actually my my circle of friends
Speaker 2: are very small maybe because I'm just very selective that well.
Speaker 2: Yeah and
Speaker 2: I have seasonal bros,
Speaker 1: seasonal bros, I've never heard of this,
Speaker 2: know like okay, so like let's say you're working on
Speaker 2: a project that is like six months long and of
Speaker 2: course like you for certain relationships right, that maybe this
Speaker 2: bro is like okay at this point of time you
Speaker 2: guys are very close and that's fine, you know?
Speaker 2: But I also have like life long bruise kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah and I have, so I have this group of friends,
Speaker 2: it is, it is me and two other guys and
Speaker 2: one of the guys partner also, so four of us
Speaker 2: and
Speaker 2: I know the girl and the guy equally
Speaker 1: very well very well
Speaker 2: if he were to come and tell me that like
Speaker 2: he's been cheating and all that, I think
Speaker 2: okay, the bro code obviously is like oh you know,
Speaker 2: they always say like bros over hos what have you
Speaker 1: heard that? Because
Speaker 2: I don't subscribe fully to that I think like there's
Speaker 2: certain value in that like certain sense of what you
Speaker 2: call that camaraderie that but not not fully la um
Speaker 2: if let's say this bro, come and tell me like
Speaker 2: yeah I have been,
Speaker 1: you know, I
Speaker 2: think I'll ask him maybe where is he, where is
Speaker 2: his heart adverse,
Speaker 2: you know, like is he like remorseful, he wants to
Speaker 2: change or whatever but like the fact that I know
Speaker 2: about this thing I would advise him to like really
Speaker 2: just come clean because I don't believe in sweeping things
Speaker 2: under the
Speaker 1: rug. I
Speaker 2: don't believe in that
Speaker 2: I believe in like settling like at least 99% of
Speaker 2: things you have to at least like voice it out
Speaker 2: and settle it
Speaker 1: as soon as you can.
Speaker 2: Yeah and if he comes from a place that like
Speaker 2: okay like you know like we don't want to like
Speaker 2: you got to help me and I'll tell him like
Speaker 2: dude you better get your ship right now you have
Speaker 2: to
Speaker 2: I want to confess but at least you know really
Speaker 2: just check yourself and kind of come clean but when
Speaker 2: he's ready of course but I won't you know step
Speaker 2: over my boundary and then it
Speaker 1: may not feel like it's in your place to go
Speaker 1: and tell. Yeah
Speaker 2: I think that is the bro code that's the limit
Speaker 2: where I can put myself at that. I would tell
Speaker 2: him that
Speaker 2: you know you need to wake the hell up but
Speaker 2: not overstep that boundary
Speaker 1: so so then then let's just say we switch the positions,
Speaker 1: what do you look for in a bro for example
Speaker 1: because for us girls right like we can sit down
Speaker 1: and talk about the same thing or the same guy
Speaker 1: problem for like six hours and I don't know whether
Speaker 1: it's the same for you guys but what do you
Speaker 1: look for in a good bro,
Speaker 2: in a good bro.
Speaker 1: Er
Speaker 2: you know like maybe at my maybe in this season
Speaker 2: of life right? I feel like I have already seen
Speaker 2: enough people, most types of people, most of us and
Speaker 2: I feel like my friends, the friendship circle is already
Speaker 2: like kind of fixed, so if I were to meet
Speaker 2: a new guy, I'm assuming it's like a new person
Speaker 2: and like how would I induct him into my world? Right?
Speaker 2: I think
Speaker 2: wow, I don't know how would it go? Like is
Speaker 2: it easier for girls? Like to
Speaker 1: know actually I think for girls is harder, so if
Speaker 1: we've already formed I can cite I am seeing all
Speaker 1: the producers like laughing behind the seats because it's true,
Speaker 1: you girls know it it's like if you've already formed
Speaker 1: this group, I'm not talking like mean girls, but it's
Speaker 1: quite like mean girls. So you already like in a
Speaker 1: group right? And if there's a new chick that's going
Speaker 1: to be introduced in, I think you have to do
Speaker 1: a lot of boxes first before joining that group, like
Speaker 1: there's so many things and dynamic within the group and
Speaker 1: you've already sort of set that in stone with your
Speaker 1: friends which you've had for a long time that sometimes
Speaker 1: it introduced new people too quickly, it could cause a
Speaker 1: bit of friction amongst people, you know like why you
Speaker 1: hang out with her more than me. Like I thought
Speaker 1: I was your only friend.
Speaker 2: I mean
Speaker 1: yes,
Speaker 1: at least for my girl group. I don't know. Okay,
Speaker 2: okay. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe, I don't know if it's the same for every
Speaker 1: girl group, but I see like in my own partner, um,
Speaker 1: they make friends with super easily. They're like, they come
Speaker 1: from poker game or something. There's like three new guys
Speaker 1: are like, so okay. Maybe they've got these activities that
Speaker 1: are easier to invite friends or friends and then they
Speaker 1: eventually become part of a bigger group,
Speaker 2: but that is like surface
Speaker 2: level bruise, right?
Speaker 1: Right? Not like not like decisions.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's very easy, especially nowadays like we
Speaker 2: just like, you know, especially if you like forget someone's
Speaker 2: name and hey bro,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what the girls say?
Speaker 2: Hey sis
Speaker 1: it's your,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just be like, hey friend and then trail off.
Speaker 1: Just be like, hey, long time I just saw you
Speaker 1: last week.
Speaker 1: That's a long time. Right
Speaker 2: Guys, we have a lot of this kind of like
Speaker 2: surface bruise. Like when we meet them for the first time,
Speaker 1: you know,
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't do that. But
Speaker 1: you guys do like the,
Speaker 2: the, okay, there is a brew gesture.
Speaker 1: But I mean I have another burning question like
Speaker 1: with us girls, you know, like I mentioned earlier, we
Speaker 1: are so open about a lot of our feelings. We
Speaker 1: pitch about people, our partners, whatever something went wrong or whatever, right?
Speaker 1: And sometimes we also cry like in front of each other.
Speaker 1: Like if things went wrong or we
Speaker 1: break up or we're going through a tough time. I
Speaker 1: think it's, it's only natural, you know, like your friends
Speaker 1: are there for you and that's common. Feel free. So
Speaker 1: amongst a broad group, like, do you guys ever get
Speaker 1: to that vulnerable point where you physically actually break down
Speaker 1: or has that hardly happened?
Speaker 2: Okay. So I only speak for like my group of friends,
Speaker 2: la and I think that I have a few lifelong
Speaker 2: bros that we grew up together, I think like we
Speaker 2: knew each other since we were 12 and we've just
Speaker 2: been
Speaker 2: just been playing the same game. Just been like talking
Speaker 2: about the same nonsense. Yeah. For like the past, how
Speaker 2: am I this year? 27 2015 years old for the
Speaker 2: past 15 years, we've just been like, just closed. Right?
Speaker 2: And it's a very low maintenance friendship. What I mean
Speaker 2: by that is like, we don't, we don't have to
Speaker 2: like meet each other, you know, once we don't, in fact,
Speaker 2: most of the time, right? I would say we are
Speaker 2: close
Speaker 2: to a point where we don't have to
Speaker 1: meet up constantly be a part of each other's
Speaker 2: life. In fact, sometimes I look at their face. I
Speaker 2: know what they're gonna say. We're in sync
Speaker 1: that way,
Speaker 2: right? But then it's a very low maintenance thing that
Speaker 2: we don't, we don't have to like do a heart
Speaker 2: to heart talk. I think girls do that, right? And
Speaker 2: I think it's very nice. I think it's nice for
Speaker 2: guys too
Speaker 2: to to try to do more of these. Just like,
Speaker 2: maybe it's just harder for our walls to come down.
Speaker 1: I agree. So it's so funny because I remember this
Speaker 1: quite clearly, um my partner and I had a fight
Speaker 1: and it was quite like a big fight. But now
Speaker 1: you ask,
Speaker 1: I forgot what it's about as with most fights. So
Speaker 1: we spent the day like not speaking to each other.
Speaker 1: And I went off to like, whine about it with
Speaker 1: friends over wine no less. And then he said, okay,
Speaker 1: like he's going to go meet a buddy, right? And
Speaker 1: we were still kind of just updating each other, like
Speaker 1: what's going on in 45 minutes inside. Okay. I'm done.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what? I just, I was sitting
Speaker 1: there from lunch to dinner
Speaker 1: and I'm still not done talking about my feelings, but
Speaker 1: he was done.
Speaker 2: It sounds about right, Less
Speaker 1: than an hour. So after the dust settled and we,
Speaker 1: you know, stop fighting, was like, so what do you
Speaker 1: share with your buddy? Just 0.1 point 2.3 and then
Speaker 1: his body goes, okay, you should do this this and
Speaker 1: then that, and then, okay, let's go get coffee.
Speaker 2: I really, really,
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: I think maybe
Speaker 1: females are more expressive. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a little bit of a double agent sort right?
Speaker 2: Like guys we um I don't know this sexist or not.
Speaker 2: But most guys we really okay we want to settle things.
Speaker 1: We get to the point,
Speaker 2: we get to the point, we settle things. But maybe
Speaker 2: girls like to
Speaker 1: share. Yeah. What about the context and the story behind it.
Speaker 1: Like, you know, and then like three days before this happened,
Speaker 1: you know like what happened? Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like you said the contact. I get it. I get it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think like in 45 minutes that
Speaker 2: is sufficient to cover everything. Okay, so maybe like with
Speaker 2: my guy friends, right? We be my brothers. Are we
Speaker 2: really cut straight to the point.
Speaker 1: Okay, so then my question is if you guys are
Speaker 1: not talking about love, relationships, feelings, life stuff. Like what
Speaker 1: are you talking about most of the time?
Speaker 1: I'm very curious to know this in bro settings. What
Speaker 1: do guys talk about?
Speaker 2: I think guys, okay. I mean say for my girlfriends, right?
Speaker 2: Like football, okay. Something like really lame to you. But
Speaker 2: like maybe you guys talk about like what manicure pedicure
Speaker 1: similar
Speaker 2: line, right?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And most of my guy friends, like why also say
Speaker 2: it's low maintenance friendship because we can literally just sit
Speaker 2: down
Speaker 2: and play FIFA for maybe like from like nine p.m.
Speaker 2: All the way into like five a.m. And we can
Speaker 2: just don't talk about it. Like
Speaker 1: just just don't yeah
Speaker 2: ha ha loser, you know that our next game?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: I don't know, I think maybe it is, maybe there's
Speaker 2: like a culture that my girlfriends have you. No,
Speaker 1: no, it's not the first time I think I've heard
Speaker 1: some other stories or
Speaker 2: you know, maybe
Speaker 1: you
Speaker 2: don't talk about stuff, you know, you're trying to
Speaker 2: win some money, right,
Speaker 1: okay, so on that note, I'm going to list out
Speaker 1: some would say assumptions about bro code, okay, And you
Speaker 1: tell me whether you think it's real or not, whether
Speaker 1: it's applicable
Speaker 2: disclaimer? I mean, I speak for myself and myself only
Speaker 2: right now for all the guys in the world.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, there's a lot of disclaimers, you
Speaker 2: gotta be safe.
Speaker 1: Okay, here are some examples of a bro code. Okay,
Speaker 1: being a good wingman,
Speaker 2: do
Speaker 1: you agree with that? Have you been a wingman before?
Speaker 1: I'm
Speaker 2: a horrible wingman.
Speaker 1: You're horrible wingman. Why
Speaker 2: I'm so horrible because I have never approached, I think
Speaker 2: like wingman, right? Like that doesn't have to be a
Speaker 2: he
Speaker 1: clearly hasn't had much experience in being a wing man.
Speaker 2: No, heaven. Like can you give me an example?
Speaker 1: Like, okay, like you guys are partying you and your
Speaker 1: bro walking around and he goes, hey that goes cute
Speaker 1: and
Speaker 2: like what
Speaker 1: should I do? I'm sure
Speaker 2: he doesn't think I'm the worst person to talk about
Speaker 2: this because I don't like to like party and all that.
Speaker 2: I've been to a club less than five times,
Speaker 1: I think. Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have never. And every time I go to
Speaker 2: the club is to is for a reason for either
Speaker 2: work or live to drag my friend out.
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so what if you're trying to set your friend
Speaker 1: up with someone? You've never actually done that?
Speaker 2: I've never done that. Let's say my friend asked me
Speaker 2: to do something for him so that he can approach
Speaker 2: the girl easier. I think I can do that. Just
Speaker 2: nobody has ever asked me for
Speaker 1: that. You get that the goal like you instead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to maybe, you know, honestly, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe think, okay, we're going to clip this out and
Speaker 1: send your guy friends not to ship anything. But wait,
Speaker 1: I never asked you this then. How did sidetrack, How
Speaker 1: did you meet Senior?
Speaker 2: I met Senior. True, true.
Speaker 1: Someone okay to work
Speaker 2: through projects. And yeah, it was like, I mean, we
Speaker 2: met at work and then
Speaker 2: I just spoke to her and that's the thing that
Speaker 2: I I find it very hard to approach girls to like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll give you a scenario, okay, just like, let's say
Speaker 2: you're at a bar drinking and all that, which don't
Speaker 2: really happen for me because I don't like to drink, right?
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 1: so if
Speaker 2: let's say I see a pretty girl and I want
Speaker 2: to approach her, right? I cannot. I just don't know
Speaker 2: how So, so
Speaker 1: you've never actually approached a person? I
Speaker 2: tried once La I think I was in a club
Speaker 2: last time with my friends and then like,
Speaker 1: did it work?
Speaker 2: I felt a little bit of formal because like, my
Speaker 2: friends were like, you know, talk to that girl for me,
Speaker 2: I'm just like okay for more, I got to do
Speaker 2: something so I tried and
Speaker 1: then
Speaker 1: I want to know the result
Speaker 2: absolutely trash.
Speaker 1: You faded out into the darkness behind you, like, just
Speaker 2: remember it was it was so that that 30 seconds
Speaker 2: felt like, like 30 days are so awkward, you know, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, she looked at me, I look at
Speaker 2: her and then like shouting very loud,
Speaker 1: I what's your name?
Speaker 2: I just cannot. Yeah, I feel like we if ever
Speaker 2: let's I I meet someone like was a senior, right?
Speaker 2: We are friends first and then we grow we grow
Speaker 2: from there, but I can never just like, meet someone
Speaker 2: like that and have a very
Speaker 2: powerful relationship, I can never do that.
Speaker 1: We're very opposite in that sense. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriends were from like parties, clubs and it
Speaker 1: was all like literally like that, like
Speaker 2: you carry on after
Speaker 1: that we just like we exchanged numbers and then maybe
Speaker 1: we could text for a while and then maybe we'll
Speaker 1: see each other again at the next thing. Then they
Speaker 1: asked me out or they asked me already, I don't know. Okay,
Speaker 1: the next one.
Speaker 1: Next one is example another example of a brokered ex
Speaker 1: girlfriends or sisters are off limits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay so this I agree. I feel like I
Speaker 2: feel like there is a certain boundary to that if
Speaker 2: let's say bro to come and tell me like oh
Speaker 2: you know I just broke up with this girl,
Speaker 2: then I then let's say three months later I come
Speaker 2: into the picture and I'm dating this girl isn't a
Speaker 2: little bit so
Speaker 1: it is weird
Speaker 2: like that then then the question is that how long
Speaker 2: have I like this girl before already? So
Speaker 1: many questions
Speaker 2: so I think like that has
Speaker 2: Okay, I have another story, right? That it's kind of
Speaker 2: similar but it's also not fully but this this one
Speaker 2: I mean I was very young, right? I was like
Speaker 2: 15 I think. I don't even know, you can count
Speaker 2: this as a like relationship things,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to hear it regardless. So
Speaker 2: When I was like around 15 I met this, I
Speaker 2: met this girl through my best friend and then we
Speaker 2: were kind of like talking texting each other last time, right?
Speaker 2: Like just like sms each other
Speaker 2: and then um she was giving me this signal like
Speaker 2: I mean like text me right? Like of course
Speaker 1: you want to feeling a vibe from her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm a little bit slow at it but
Speaker 2: I could catch, they're like yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah
Speaker 2: And then we're talking well you know we're just texting
Speaker 2: you know everything class four you're
Speaker 1: looking waiting for. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I feel like maybe there's something going on right?
Speaker 2: And so that went on for like a good, I
Speaker 2: don't know, maybe like half a year or something, right?
Speaker 2: And
Speaker 2: all this time,
Speaker 2: my bro, my best friend like never say anything also,
Speaker 2: maybe because we don't confide in each other about these
Speaker 2: kind of things, right? So there was this time right
Speaker 2: when it was valentine's day, then last time there's this
Speaker 2: um
Speaker 2: there's this shop rite called
Speaker 1: like tiny
Speaker 2: Toon you
Speaker 1: know
Speaker 2: those big flashes, you
Speaker 1: know? Yeah,
Speaker 2: so she was saying oh I love this, this your
Speaker 1: you know we
Speaker 2: need to put in now, okay by that and it's
Speaker 2: kind of like gigantic size. So I brought it over
Speaker 2: then I I went to a house valentine's day, surprise
Speaker 2: her
Speaker 1: right,
Speaker 2: showed up. I waited for like an hour I showed
Speaker 2: up
Speaker 2: and she was walking towards me but then right beside
Speaker 2: her it was my best friend,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh
Speaker 2: and then they were holding hands, they
Speaker 1: were holding hands,
Speaker 2: they were just like very close proximity, I cannot remember
Speaker 2: they were holding hands just coming
Speaker 2: or when I'm and I'm like happy valentine's day but
Speaker 2: then like while doing that I'm just like I look
Speaker 2: at my friend, I'm like what's up? What's up? And then, okay,
Speaker 2: I cut a long story short, I only found out, right? Actually,
Speaker 2: my best friend has been dating her for like a
Speaker 2: year
Speaker 1: And No one said anything.
Speaker 2: No, no one said anything. Like I I never because
Speaker 2: I never actually spoke to my best friend about discount
Speaker 2: things
Speaker 1: and like, but
Speaker 2: you're dating someone I should know about it, but only
Speaker 2: apparently guys don't talk about
Speaker 1: maybe until it's like serious or something. But yeah, it
Speaker 2: is, it is. And I realized that like this where
Speaker 2: things get a little bit more complicated. I realized that
Speaker 2: I'm not even a third party. No. Yeah, so my
Speaker 2: best friend was dating this girl,
Speaker 1: okay. But
Speaker 2: then this girl right, was also talking to my best
Speaker 2: friend's best friend,
Speaker 1: which is, you
Speaker 2: know, it's not me, like I'm not even the party,
Speaker 2: I'm the fourth party, you know,
Speaker 1: best friends, best friend,
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker 2: best friends, But I mean
Speaker 1: you're not your best friend's best friend.
Speaker 2: I know him from church, right? And his best friends
Speaker 2: from school for example.
Speaker 1: So you are the other best friend
Speaker 2: and the other best friend. Yeah. And then like, so
Speaker 2: so that that's the girl, my best friend, my best
Speaker 2: friend's best friend, and I'm the fourth party,
Speaker 1: wow, this girl we need to give her an award,
Speaker 1: like this normalizing it not, you
Speaker 2: were just like, you know, puppets man dance
Speaker 1: for us.
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: think like from that day onwards, right? I realized that like, actually,
Speaker 2: oh my goodness, guys really don't talk about things like
Speaker 2: as openly as a girl would
Speaker 1: see that's the thing, you know, within the first few
Speaker 1: weeks even, or even the first time we met, we
Speaker 1: meet someone that maybe we find cute or whatever. I'm
Speaker 1: immediately telling my friend about it,
Speaker 2: like immediately
Speaker 1: immediately. And like by the way, I met this guy,
Speaker 1: you know, like we might be going out. Maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 1: We just update each other and every time we meet
Speaker 1: or like have drinks or whatever, they'll be like, so
Speaker 1: what's the update? Even though it was just like two
Speaker 1: days ago, right? That we spoke to each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah. What's funny about like this right? Is I can
Speaker 2: relate and like, okay, I like that. Right? But my
Speaker 2: best friends, right? We usually tell each other very, very
Speaker 2: surface stuff and my brothers are like three of us.
Speaker 2: We would just say like, wow, chills here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you chose. Yeah. Or like, wow, very big something, right?
Speaker 2: But we won't go into details, you know, we don't
Speaker 2: think
Speaker 1: about her hair obviously,
Speaker 2: of course, you know,
Speaker 1: like hair. Lots of secrets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, her palm.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like, wow, so, so hot. You know that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. And
Speaker 2: then maybe we don't meet each other for like maybe
Speaker 2: like four months because it's a low maintenance, right? And
Speaker 2: the next thing I know that together. And then I'll
Speaker 2: be like
Speaker 1: you the in between.
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker 1: It just goes from 0-00. And by the way, this
Speaker 1: is a summary. I'm getting married. I
Speaker 2: won't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised because that, that's
Speaker 2: what happened for me and like me and senior as well.
Speaker 2: Did
Speaker 1: you tell your bros that you were going to?
Speaker 2: Okay. So like over the span of, let's say over
Speaker 2: the span of, let's say, a year, I think I
Speaker 2: so maybe the first time before me and senior we
Speaker 2: got together, right? I said like,
Speaker 2: maybe I told them like, of course or
Speaker 1: less, no less.
Speaker 2: I think this girl is very suitable for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And suitable
Speaker 1: for me? Also,
Speaker 2: she is right for me. She's good for me. And
Speaker 2: then maybe like a couple of months later, it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: I really like this girl. Yeah. And next time it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: we're getting married. What?
Speaker 1: I don't get it for us. I can send a
Speaker 1: five minute voice note.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're watching right now? You don't get to judge. Okay.
Speaker 1: I know you're nodding away and you're probably agreeing with
Speaker 1: me on this. We can send each other like voice notes.
Speaker 1: And we're like analyzing it. And then we're like, so
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts? Then they'll send back another five
Speaker 1: minute voice note and you want to meet later and
Speaker 1: we start all over again from the top, you know?
Speaker 1: So that's just the way that some of our groups
Speaker 1: work I guess.
Speaker 2: That's nice love. But like also
Speaker 1: a waste of time is it? No,
Speaker 2: no, no definitely, definitely not a waste of time. I
Speaker 2: think it's like really sweet but I just find like
Speaker 2: there is a barrier like in
Speaker 2: in the world like the guys
Speaker 1: break that you only very few straight men that are
Speaker 1: in my group of friends have been able to really
Speaker 1: talk about this and yet at the same time they're
Speaker 1: talking about it to us like to the girls. So
Speaker 1: I don't actually know whether he's talking about it this
Speaker 1: way to his bros. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I get it, I get it. Maybe maybe guys are
Speaker 2: just not in general are not great listeners to begin
Speaker 1: with is it?
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: don't know like maybe when you speak your partner about
Speaker 2: work issue like I think that the natural kind of
Speaker 2: like response for them is like okay do you do this?
Speaker 2: Have you done that? You know they want to solve
Speaker 1: things right, Right.
Speaker 2: But I think for girls
Speaker 1: right? You know what jerry is always like here's the solution.
Speaker 1: 0.1 point 2.3 and I'm not looking for a solution.
Speaker 1: I just want you to hear me bitch. Like I understand,
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: understand. I think like for guys really that is the
Speaker 2: first thing that comes to our mind like
Speaker 1: you
Speaker 1: I want to try and fix the problem.
Speaker 2: I mean if you were to ever come to you
Speaker 2: know come okay But I mean I have learned how
Speaker 1: to try
Speaker 2: my best to endeavor to do my best to be
Speaker 2: a little bit more sensitive. Okay. Yeah at least listen.
Speaker 2: And then like maybe I'll ask her like do you
Speaker 2: want my advice or do you just want to like
Speaker 2: it here? Yeah but like in the world guys you
Speaker 2: don't do that one right? You don't like no usually
Speaker 2: just stripped like just
Speaker 2: quit the job.
Speaker 1: It's so simple. There's a solution to everything summarize
Speaker 2: lovely. Just summarize everything. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay I feel you on that. I don't disagree. Okay.
Speaker 1: The next one is it's quite similar to
Speaker 2: what
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier but the other way. So if you
Speaker 1: catch a bro's wife or girlfriend or partner cheating, would
Speaker 1: you inform him straight away?
Speaker 2: Am I close to my bro
Speaker 1: bro? Yeah
Speaker 2: partner.
Speaker 1: Oh okay that makes a difference. Also. Right okay. Let's
Speaker 1: say you just you just know her because you know
Speaker 1: she is your partner. You just know her through your
Speaker 2: bro.
Speaker 2: Okay then I'll see like where my bro is at
Speaker 2: in terms of like say um my mental
Speaker 1: health. Okay. See if you can handle it
Speaker 2: you know like because it's like with my usual rose right?
Speaker 2: Yeah I'll just I'll just tell him like
Speaker 1: maybe the
Speaker 2: most I do sit him down and and really give
Speaker 2: him some context and then tell him what I feel
Speaker 2: about it, what I saw.
Speaker 2: Um But I will never understand the boundary to tell,
Speaker 2: tell him like why you gotta break out. You know,
Speaker 2: like you must break out. I would tell him like
Speaker 2: what I think he should do, maybe maybe what I
Speaker 2: should do. But more like if you don't do this right,
Speaker 2: what's gonna happen if you do that, what's gonna happen?
Speaker 2: And then let him decide for himself?
Speaker 1: And I think also that we mustn't forget a lot
Speaker 1: of couples have gone through situations like that partners cheating
Speaker 1: on each other,
Speaker 1: whether they try to mend it and they try to
Speaker 1: move forward. And sometimes it's successful in certain situations as well,
Speaker 1: like you never know what they're going through in their
Speaker 1: own personal life in that sense. Yeah. So it's very
Speaker 1: difficult to judge in these moments, right? But if you
Speaker 1: were in your shoes, would you want to know if
Speaker 1: your partner was spotted outside holding hands with someone or
Speaker 2: getting a bit too
Speaker 1: close to someone out there?
Speaker 2: I think well sometimes, you know, like ignorance is bliss,
Speaker 1: right? But that's the thing.
Speaker 2: Um I'd rather not hear from anyone else other than
Speaker 2: my partner, even if it's my brew,
Speaker 1: honestly.
Speaker 2: But I also understand that actually,
Speaker 2: I mean if your partner is never going to come
Speaker 2: clean to you and then your Bruno's about it. Actually,
Speaker 2: he kind of has a duty to break the news
Speaker 2: to you la but for me, my personal preferences that
Speaker 2: I'd rather not know about it. But if let's say
Speaker 2: like a friend, okay I'm just going to throw your example.
Speaker 2: My friend is with this girl, this girl is treating
Speaker 2: my friend and like he's let's say she's using him
Speaker 2: for like maybe personal gains like oh money or whatever.
Speaker 2: Then I'll
Speaker 1: just go straight, I'll
Speaker 2: go straight. I think I've told my, yeah my best
Speaker 2: friend a few times like wow this is
Speaker 2: I mean this girl is
Speaker 1: just like
Speaker 2: super reflect
Speaker 1: what was the result of
Speaker 2: that. You know guys like
Speaker 1: oh
Speaker 2: bro you're right.
Speaker 1: Oh my God that's it. I
Speaker 2: think I think guys especially like the bruises go like
Speaker 2: we don't ever force each other to make a decision
Speaker 2: or do something but we will just
Speaker 2: just be them like very copy bro. You should not,
Speaker 2: you should not know what really, you should, you should regret.
Speaker 2: You
Speaker 1: know that's
Speaker 2: how we pressure. I feel like girls are just
Speaker 2: You think of like one thing but you can say
Speaker 2: like 10
Speaker 1: things but we
Speaker 2: think of 10 things but we can
Speaker 1: say one thing,
Speaker 2: I think that is the hour where we kind of
Speaker 2: like four short life you
Speaker 1: know, But I think on the flip side we sometimes
Speaker 1: over analyze also you know for sometimes when we talk
Speaker 1: a bit too much about one thing, we might be
Speaker 1: breaking it down too much, we might over analyze and
Speaker 1: then cause other questions and other issues and then overthink
Speaker 1: and then spiral and then at the end, you know
Speaker 1: like your two wine bottles down and no solution.
Speaker 1: That sounds familiar. Yes. Okay. The next one is actually
Speaker 1: examples of girl quotes.
Speaker 2: Okay. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you will, maybe I'll have more to
Speaker 1: say about this, but see if you have anything you
Speaker 1: can contribute to this one. Okay, so unspoken girl code
Speaker 1: rules always check in when your girl is on a
Speaker 1: date with a new guy. Yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Um Never let your girlfriend go to the bathroom alone
Speaker 1: especially when she's drunk. It's true. I think all my
Speaker 1: girlfriends take good care of each other,
Speaker 1: especially at clubs and all that kind of stuff
Speaker 2: agree.
Speaker 1: Never flirt with your friends crush or boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for
Speaker 1: sure. For sure. Have you ever experienced this before?
Speaker 2: I think I did like like and it's just so
Speaker 2: awkward because
Speaker 2: no. Okay. There's a girl called.
Speaker 1: Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it can be,
Speaker 1: can be the other way. Can be the other way. Yes,
Speaker 1: for sure. What if the tables were turned, How would
Speaker 1: you feel about
Speaker 2: that? Have you experienced this?
Speaker 1: You mean like someone else's partner?
Speaker 2: Let me be like you're interested in someone then like
Speaker 2: your your girlfriend just
Speaker 1: like
Speaker 2: she overzealous wing woman.
Speaker 1: No, no, not exactly, but a friend's boyfriend has flirted
Speaker 2: before.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Which was quite messed
Speaker 2: up. Like overly friendly or kind of like
Speaker 1: it was kind of borderline with like borderline anyway. Like
Speaker 1: they're not together anymore. Not because of me though. Like
Speaker 1: I think it's just his own, their own problems or whatever.
Speaker 2: So how how can you tell if someone is like flirting?
Speaker 1: I think it was also under the influence of alcohol, right?
Speaker 1: People tend to get very, you know? Yeah, you kind
Speaker 1: of like lose control of, I don't know, thinking yourself
Speaker 1: and you don't think too much. But he was saying
Speaker 1: like some suggestive things
Speaker 2: like sexual stuff
Speaker 1: in a more private setting, like, hey, do you
Speaker 2: wanna um
Speaker 1: Yes, so apparently like I wasn't the only person that
Speaker 1: he was talking like this to like other girlfriends also
Speaker 1: said
Speaker 1: that he will be like that. But maybe
Speaker 2: no, but like if the person is drunk and he
Speaker 2: does that right then.
Speaker 1: But it's not an excuse though, right?
Speaker 2: No, it's not. It's like, it just amplifies what he's
Speaker 2: been hiding, right?
Speaker 1: What he's really thinking,
Speaker 2: isn't it? I don't know like when you're drunk, usually
Speaker 2: you will be a little bit more truthful.
Speaker 1: It's true in a way, in a way, but you're
Speaker 1: also unconscious, right? So I don't know whether you mean it,
Speaker 2: I feel like whatever. There's sit when the person is drunk, right?
Speaker 2: There's
Speaker 1: always
Speaker 2: something
Speaker 2: truth. Maybe he's already been thinking of some things. Is
Speaker 1: that why you don't drink so
Speaker 2: much. I don't like to lose control myself.
Speaker 1: That's really good actually. I really like that.
Speaker 2: I mean, because I never know like what I'm going
Speaker 2: to do and I don't like that feeling. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: want to be in control myself. I just, but of
Speaker 2: course I have been like drunk, but in the setting
Speaker 2: of my own house
Speaker 1: amongst people that you trust and
Speaker 2: just like myself.
Speaker 1: Okay. I want to
Speaker 2: see how I react when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: Okay,
Speaker 1: video, video, video. We need
Speaker 2: long deleted. Okay, I'll say this kind of thing. So
Speaker 1: I don't know anyone who has done that ever
Speaker 2: because I want to know how I am like when
Speaker 2: I'm drunk, but okay, of course it would be different
Speaker 2: if my friends are around. I'm sure
Speaker 1: that's very interesting. I'm going to do that some day,
Speaker 1: but I have a feeling I don't want to watch
Speaker 1: that footage.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you wouldn't
Speaker 1: go to clown after you watch it. You're like, goodbye
Speaker 1: alcohol forever, is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But you know what, going back to that question,
Speaker 2: Maybe a bro, Okay, let's exclude alcoholic. He's a little
Speaker 2: bit more like, um, showing signs to my partner.
Speaker 1: Okay, Like being a little too,
Speaker 2: you know, and then I'm a very straightforward person. Okay,
Speaker 2: I will call him out, but maybe not in front
Speaker 2: of everyone like him aside,
Speaker 1: like, like
Speaker 2: what's going on? You, you know,
Speaker 1: once again, very direct,
Speaker 2: like what you're trying to do. Yeah, but I have
Speaker 2: met with situations like that. but I think most of
Speaker 2: my friends in my growth like friend circles, like they
Speaker 2: are very well controlled people
Speaker 1: and you guys respect each other I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If like I mean one were to step out
Speaker 2: of line or then bye bye wow. Yeah, I think
Speaker 2: I'm very, yeah,
Speaker 1: straight to the point.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's a good and bad thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay. The next question is you're not allowed to have
Speaker 1: sex with someone your friend has had sex with before,
Speaker 2: you're not allowed to have sex with
Speaker 1: someone that your friend has banked before,
Speaker 2: wow.
Speaker 1: In your friend group. No, this has never happened. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I'll give you an example. Sure not me, not me,
Speaker 1: but another group of friends like. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's just a group of
Speaker 2: guys
Speaker 1: um And one of the girls that was introduced to
Speaker 1: this group was actually dating one of them initially and
Speaker 1: then she got introduced to this group um Obviously she's
Speaker 1: already bang this
Speaker 2: guy, but
Speaker 1: she ended up getting together with another guy in the
Speaker 1: same group and
Speaker 1: also start with him. So then the two guys are
Speaker 1: still bros
Speaker 2: though, They're
Speaker 1: still friends. Is that weird?
Speaker 2: I think so
Speaker 1: it's weird. Is it I found it a little strange
Speaker 2: but was there a relationship that kind of blossomed after
Speaker 2: that or was it? What? What? I
Speaker 1: Know, so she actually got together with the 2nd guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah after that, so the guy that actually introduced her
Speaker 1: to the group didn't end up with her, but he
Speaker 1: did say that they hooked
Speaker 2: up and
Speaker 1: the other books like, okay, he got over in like
Speaker 1: five seconds. I don't know what the mentality is behind
Speaker 1: it or whether that's something you might keep in your
Speaker 1: mind for a long
Speaker 2: time. I
Speaker 2: okay, I'm not the best person to talk about this
Speaker 2: because like, I I feel like, okay, no more. I
Speaker 2: don't believe in that one extent. I just cannot get
Speaker 2: that concept.
Speaker 1: Okay,
Speaker 2: you have to be like, really drunk. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I really don't know.
Speaker 2: But like, if, let's say, my friend has an ex
Speaker 2: partner that like, of course they had like, maybe like
Speaker 2: intimacy with before and I were to be with that
Speaker 2: partner after they like, broken up. Right? I will find
Speaker 2: it weird. Or so
Speaker 1: it would be strange.
Speaker 2: It would be really strange, but I don't think it is.
Speaker 2: It's like a no, no, nothing. It's just it would
Speaker 2: be weird. Like there will there will
Speaker 2: be
Speaker 1: images of not just so you know what we're going
Speaker 1: to say,
Speaker 2: like, you know, when we're hanging out together, then there
Speaker 2: will always be this attention
Speaker 1: is doing
Speaker 2: a flash kind of thing. Like yeah,
Speaker 1: like some tension that you can't get rid of you.
Speaker 2: Maybe you think like, wow, am I better sex or
Speaker 2: you better?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: I mean, these are possible. Never happened to me before.
Speaker 1: Disclaimer. I really
Speaker 2: I really don't know,
Speaker 1: But the 10th disclaimer, Sean has done, you
Speaker 2: know, just
Speaker 2: disclaiming, but I mean like, I think guys will over
Speaker 2: kind of like think about these kind of things also
Speaker 2: like
Speaker 1: it would definitely put a strain on the relations of
Speaker 1: friendship
Speaker 2: for
Speaker 1: sure.
Speaker 2: Um but this will be very unspoken, Yeah, in fact
Speaker 2: we might not even bring it up, but it's just
Speaker 1: this, this reminded me of a situation in the past,
Speaker 1: so it's in the same group of in the group
Speaker 1: of girlfriends
Speaker 1: and one of the girls was actually quite crazy about
Speaker 1: this guy that she met at a party and they
Speaker 1: seemed like they were getting on well they were meeting
Speaker 1: quite a lot, you know, sometimes he would come and
Speaker 1: join us and all that, but they were never exclusively dating,
Speaker 1: they never said that they were dating, it was just
Speaker 1: casual and then we came out as a group again
Speaker 1: the next time where this guy was introduced to r
Speaker 1: bigger group of friends and he started hitting on another
Speaker 1: girl in the
Speaker 2: group.
Speaker 2: Oh, alright, yeah,
Speaker 1: like he was quite open about it, so he didn't,
Speaker 1: he didn't talk about the exclusivity with the other girl
Speaker 1: or anything. But anyway, instead of girl getting angry with him,
Speaker 1: she actually got angry with her friend,
Speaker 2: so
Speaker 1: she actually turned around and said like you already knew
Speaker 1: that I am into this guy, so why did you
Speaker 1: go ahead and talk to
Speaker 2: him? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? So instead of directing her anger
Speaker 1: at the
Speaker 1: she's like directing at a friend instead and their relationship
Speaker 1: was like never the same again after that, but
Speaker 2: I agree. Do
Speaker 1: you agree? So
Speaker 2: the new girl like she knows about like
Speaker 1: she doesn't really I mean she kind of knows yet
Speaker 1: doesn't really know, but nothing really happened. He was just
Speaker 1: being very friendly with her and ask her for her
Speaker 1: phone number and I think she didn't realize that they
Speaker 1: were dating or something.
Speaker 2: I feel like a girl and guy, right? Like they
Speaker 2: had something exclusive and they talked about
Speaker 2: and if the third party knew about it right, then
Speaker 2: I think it's wrong for her
Speaker 1: to
Speaker 2: like she is not wrong, but it's like breaking the
Speaker 2: girl code, you know,
Speaker 1: okay, but then the guy is not in the wrong
Speaker 1: guy
Speaker 2: is I mean, so I think it comes down to
Speaker 2: like have they established this exclusivity because if they haven't
Speaker 2: then I feel like everyone is free to do what
Speaker 1: they want your shot with anyone
Speaker 2: because like you know maybe less I go on a
Speaker 2: date with you right? And for me, I want to
Speaker 2: get to
Speaker 2: no you before you, wow, I want to marry
Speaker 1: this guy. I
Speaker 2: think that's where we start off is wrong and whatever
Speaker 2: happens next after that like I shouldn't be accountable for
Speaker 2: what your thoughts are
Speaker 1: true, true.
Speaker 2: So I feel all these things must be kind of
Speaker 2: like communicated well
Speaker 1: and also
Speaker 2: if the girl and I mean the two girls are friends,
Speaker 2: you guys should talk about that right? But if it
Speaker 2: is already communicated like wow this girl, I really like
Speaker 2: that guy,
Speaker 2: but then that goes to reciprocate
Speaker 1: again, then
Speaker 2: I think it's pretty messy. I think that's wrong.
Speaker 1: Okay, well I mean you know talking about friendship and
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff also, you know before we
Speaker 1: wrap it up brings me to the question of morals, right?
Speaker 1: So if you are in a friend group and you
Speaker 1: know you guys talk about everything, is it very important
Speaker 1: to you that everyone shares the same or similar moral values.
Speaker 1: You know like if you had a really close friend
Speaker 2: but he's
Speaker 1: like a player like that doesn't really sit with sit
Speaker 1: well with your own values and morals, would you continue
Speaker 1: being friends with him? You know?
Speaker 2: Okay, so like I feel like if there are any
Speaker 2: um any new group of friends or new group of
Speaker 2: bros that I were to meet and all that, I
Speaker 2: feel like that is a must
Speaker 1: to be on the same page
Speaker 2: to be on the same page. Like
Speaker 2: um like the way we think about money, the way
Speaker 2: we think about relationships, I feel like we should be
Speaker 2: yellow on the same page because I feel like you
Speaker 2: are who you hang out
Speaker 1: with, yeah you're the average of the five people to
Speaker 1: hang out with, correct
Speaker 2: and like the books you read and the people you meet,
Speaker 2: you turn you to become that person. And I feel
Speaker 2: like if there is a group of friends that is new,
Speaker 2: we have to be on the same page. Yeah. Like
Speaker 2: for example, I don't
Speaker 2: I don't condone. For example, like great example. I I
Speaker 2: don't know
Speaker 2: like maybe in their group of friends, I will look
Speaker 2: for the same things. But if it's like my friends
Speaker 2: from like childhood, right? Obviously we grow up a little
Speaker 2: bit different, have different lives
Speaker 1: and all that. I
Speaker 2: can condone like whatever new thoughts that they may have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like maybe not to the point where by
Speaker 2: I really, really like object um let's say like my
Speaker 2: friends would come and tell me like, well I like
Speaker 2: what's morally wrong? I enjoy cheating.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't think has anyone ever said, I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone has rightly said that.
Speaker 2: I believe that I should have multiple partners. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm like
Speaker 1: mary woman turned me on or something. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Look at it. Look at a pregnant lady.
Speaker 1: Wait, what? We were not pregnant, you
Speaker 2: married woman? You know? And then they get all like, wow,
Speaker 2: you know, pharaoh and horny and all that, right? Then
Speaker 2: maybe you
Speaker 1: might just be like, it's a situational basis sort of thing.
Speaker 1: So on that note, have you ever ended a friendship
Speaker 1: because you don't align with your friend's beliefs, morals or
Speaker 1: you just can't agree with what he's doing.
Speaker 2: You
Speaker 1: have
Speaker 2: I have I have you
Speaker 1: have, how did that go?
Speaker 2: I mean I'm like I said I'm a very straightforward person,
Speaker 1: very direct, very direct
Speaker 2: and when I feel like someone is um
Speaker 2: I don't want you to be toxic but maybe not
Speaker 2: um not just not good for me, you know he
Speaker 2: can be a good bro to another person but maybe
Speaker 2: if it's not for me I will just kind of
Speaker 2: like
Speaker 1: how do you end a friendship?
Speaker 2: I mean if I have to kind of tell him
Speaker 2: that I'll just tell him all that like you know
Speaker 2: what I feel like
Speaker 1: this isn't working.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's
Speaker 1: like a break up break up break up.
Speaker 2: I think I think maybe more like if there if
Speaker 2: nothing happened like there's no trigger but I just feel
Speaker 2: like I want to pull out of it, I would
Speaker 2: just kind of like goes the person, if the person
Speaker 2: would ask me like why we ever hang out bro,
Speaker 2: you know why we go to supper and I'll just
Speaker 2: say like no thank you. Like
Speaker 2: I think it's nice to know you a lot but
Speaker 2: like you know if let's say this period of my
Speaker 2: life I might not wanna hang out too much with
Speaker 2: a person like yourself. Ah I think I've said that
Speaker 2: before but not a lot of times like usually I
Speaker 2: just goes to the person
Speaker 1: I think like the gesture of not really responding or
Speaker 1: ghosting or not
Speaker 1: anticipating in their group gatherings in itself is already a sign,
Speaker 2: right? It's a signal
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: I just don't
Speaker 1: prioritize this group or this person anymore and perhaps this
Speaker 1: group or this person doesn't make me feel treasured or
Speaker 1: good as a person as a friend, you know? And
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong about it. I think
Speaker 2: maybe like as we move into adulthood right? Maybe.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I
Speaker 2: know but like you know maybe as
Speaker 1: you mature
Speaker 2: mature or like maybe some younger audience they might still
Speaker 2: have a little bit of issue letting go of friendships,
Speaker 2: certain relationships actually I would say that like it's just
Speaker 2: very
Speaker 2: normal to move on from certain groups of friends.
Speaker 1: It's very true and as you get older as well
Speaker 1: your friend group kind of goes smaller in size slowly
Speaker 1: and gradually. Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah and I think that's absolutely normal but like it
Speaker 2: depends on how much you want to keep hold of
Speaker 2: um certain friendship with my best friends,
Speaker 2: it's the three of us. Right,
Speaker 1: okay, here we go. Yes, give me their names and
Speaker 1: birth dates.
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 1: know
Speaker 2: but for so we don't really talk to each other
Speaker 2: about like very touchy stuff but there was once one
Speaker 2: of them actually asked me outline and then we went
Speaker 2: to a nearby like Petruchio, sit down there in Maggie
Speaker 2: and just talk about life and he was just sharing
Speaker 2: that like
Speaker 2: out of the blue, like I've been facing a little
Speaker 2: bit of trouble and then as a guy, trouble, what
Speaker 2: you need, you come and
Speaker 1: but
Speaker 2: then he started showing me like I've been like, I
Speaker 2: find it very difficult to sleep, you know? And I've
Speaker 2: been through like a very depressive cycle.
Speaker 1: Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that was the
Speaker 2: I have to share this story because I feel like
Speaker 2: that's the first time I ever felt like my friend
Speaker 2: was vulnerable to me, even though I've been his best
Speaker 2: friend for like back then, like maybe like what, 12, 13,
Speaker 2: 14 years and
Speaker 1: never feel like incorrect
Speaker 2: and maybe like through the years we drifted apart, we
Speaker 2: close to each other, we drifted apart. We come back
Speaker 2: because we had never like talked about this country.
Speaker 1: So
Speaker 2: that moment was quite special for me as a brewer, right?
Speaker 2: Because he
Speaker 2: kind of like, number one, I've never seen him so vulnerable.
Speaker 2: Number two, I felt like I was partly responsible because
Speaker 2: I drifted away and I never like kind of like
Speaker 1: reached
Speaker 2: out, How are you? You know, I just assume that
Speaker 2: everything is fine if you don't talk about it. But guys,
Speaker 2: you know, I think was very real.
Speaker 1: I
Speaker 2: know like it's very hard to talk to, you know,
Speaker 2: to to another bro about your feelings, your mental health
Speaker 2: and all that. But
Speaker 2: I think we should try to, we should try
Speaker 1: to be more expressive, more
Speaker 2: expressive because the moment I heard about that, right? Actually
Speaker 2: I didn't cry a lot of course because a bit
Speaker 2: pricey but my heartstrings were a little bit like,
Speaker 1: yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, if only I knew, you know, could I
Speaker 2: have done something better?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Why did I drift away for a while? That
Speaker 2: kind of feeling? Yeah. Sorry, I just had to share that.
Speaker 1: That's a great story actually. And I think to summarize
Speaker 1: or rather to wrap that portion up, I think it
Speaker 1: doesn't hurt to just drop someone a message today and
Speaker 1: ask them like how you doing, how's it going or
Speaker 1: even if it's someone that you lost touch with, you know,
Speaker 1: it could be like, hey, just checking in or reaching
Speaker 1: out and
Speaker 1: I think you definitely did that probably moving forward.
Speaker 2: I did
Speaker 1: closer to you now. Like
Speaker 2: I do, I mean like it's still a low maintenance friendship. Yes.
Speaker 2: But I think it makes talking about these things easier.
Speaker 1: It's true. It's like a cactus, right? Like you don't
Speaker 1: really have to water it so much. It's quickly on
Speaker 1: the outside, but like can sustain on its own. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: Got you.
Speaker 1: Just compared your bestie to a cactus but it's all good.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us on this episode.
Speaker 2: Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening to this episode of men
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Speaker 2: next episode. Bye.