Speaker 1: Hi Seo.
Speaker 2: Hey
Speaker 1: Cesar
Speaker 2: and I'm Jermaine
Speaker 1: and welcome back to another episode of Cla
Speaker 2: Hush.
Speaker 2: You can't
Speaker 2: tell our
Speaker 1: outfit go with the theme of the episode today because
Speaker 1: we are sitting, come over to youtube to see us. Ok.
Speaker 1: But if you are on podcast Drive safe and then
Speaker 1: like watch us later. Ok, Jimmy, you want to describe
Speaker 1: your
Speaker 1: outfit?
Speaker 2: So today we are talking about love across generations. Ok.
Speaker 2: I don't know why
Speaker 2: it's so dramatic. We're basically talking about dating people who
Speaker 2: are much older and much younger than you. So we
Speaker 2: decided to come in like boyfriend vibes. So I'm wearing
Speaker 2: my boyfriend's t shirt. I'm wearing oversized T or like,
Speaker 1: yeah. And this is a men's collection,
Speaker 1: Braven collab with a for arcade. And he sent me
Speaker 1: a set and I thought, wow, how timely,
Speaker 2: very cute
Speaker 1: and it's very oversized as well.
Speaker 2: This
Speaker 2: is the age old question. How age old? Because does
Speaker 2: age matter in a relationship? Yes or no? 123, yes. Ok.
Speaker 2: I think the age difference doesn't matter. I think the
Speaker 2: age matters.
Speaker 2: So like the number of years doesn't matter. But what
Speaker 2: age you are when you're in that relationship matters. Correct. So,
Speaker 2: you're 29 this year and just 41. Yes. Correct. 12
Speaker 2: years difference. That's correct. If you were 18 and he
Speaker 2: was 30
Speaker 1: see,
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, that makes sense. Ok.
Speaker 1: I think the number does not matter, but your mind
Speaker 1: set and your mental at that age matters. So let
Speaker 1: at 18 and he's 30. But if you're both, your
Speaker 1: mindsets are aligned, why not? I've mentioned this a harsh
Speaker 1: podcast before. I have a friend who was 22 when
Speaker 1: she met her boyfriend, five years younger than her. So
Speaker 1: the boy was 1617, something about that. They met each
Speaker 1: other when they were working part time at this movie place.
Speaker 1: This cinema so sweet. Now they're almost getting married, they're
Speaker 1: getting married in a few months
Speaker 1: time. Like how incredible is that she's my age now.
Speaker 1: So they've been together for solid like 78 years
Speaker 2: mindset
Speaker 2: matters. That's why I actually agree with the both of you.
Speaker 2: But I think age matters in the sense that Azura
Speaker 2: said it the age you are when you go into
Speaker 2: the relationship. So obviously I have a 12 year age gap,
Speaker 2: but I'm much older now. I was 28 when I
Speaker 2: got into this relationship, right? I have a best friend. She,
Speaker 2: when she was,
Speaker 2: when she was 18, she was dating someone 18 years
Speaker 2: older than her. So she was 36 and this is
Speaker 2: where mindset comes in. He was at a very different
Speaker 2: stage of his life. She had just graduated from Polly.
Speaker 2: He wanted to marry her and have babies with her
Speaker 2: and she was like, bro. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just got my diploma, like, calm down, right. The mindset.
Speaker 2: The age everything was wrong. But
Speaker 1: actually some women prefer that after graduation, they want to
Speaker 1: settle down. Start a family. That's true.
Speaker 2: But I think she was more career oriented and ambitious.
Speaker 2: It was not for her at that stage in her life. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So
Speaker 1: share with us about your relationship journey. When you just
Speaker 1: told your family and your friends, you're dating someone 12
Speaker 1: years older than you. What were your reactions?
Speaker 2: Like one
Speaker 2: of my younger friends
Speaker 2: when she, she's much younger. Her starts with t see
Speaker 2: how young she is when she first met him. She
Speaker 2: referred to him in our private conversations as uncle, as uncle. Oh,
Speaker 2: I guess it so yikes, right. The guy. But she's
Speaker 2: much younger than me. To be fair. I never told
Speaker 2: him that. Don't listen to this anyways. My older friends,
Speaker 2: like you guys, I don't really think you guys. What,
Speaker 2: what do you guys know? We have, we first heard
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Didn't matter to us.
Speaker 2: Didn't matter. All. Of course
Speaker 1: not if it makes you happy. That's the most
Speaker 1: important thing.
Speaker 2: See, I think a lot of my friends felt that
Speaker 2: way with my parents. I think before you told them?
Speaker 2: What were your expectations going into it? Did you ever think? Like, wow,
Speaker 2: they're gonna say something about the age. I was very
Speaker 2: nervous to tell them because I felt like they would say, oh,
Speaker 2: this guy is too old for you. Like, why such
Speaker 2: a big age gap? Because in the past I only
Speaker 2: dated like, maybe two years my senior and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: So I was very, very nervous about that. But I
Speaker 2: think when I told my parents what mattered more to
Speaker 2: my dad, he totally, like he had 12 years. Right.
Speaker 2: He didn't even, like, it wasn't even an issue for him.
Speaker 2: He wanted to know what does this guy do? Has
Speaker 2: this guy made a life for himself? Can this guy
Speaker 2: take care of my daughter? Right. Not that my daughter
Speaker 2: needs taking care of, but it's that father, daughter kind
Speaker 2: of worry. That was where his mind went to straight
Speaker 2: away and I didn't actually have that much worry about.
Speaker 2: But I do think that my
Speaker 2: relatives do talk about it not to my face, but
Speaker 2: I do think they talk about
Speaker 1: time gossip when they need some things to chat about.
Speaker 1: That kind of thing.
Speaker 2: She's dating, like, you know, someone who's 12 years old.
Speaker 1: These are pretty much harmless conversations.
Speaker 2: It's harmless,
Speaker 2: it's harmless. But being 12 years older, one of the
Speaker 2: challenges is that he is at a different stage of
Speaker 2: his life. Thankfully for me, I think his industry keeps
Speaker 2: him young. So he does listen to the same music
Speaker 2: that I do. Yeah. Sometimes he kicks in a bit.
Speaker 2: Celine Dion. I'm like, ok, just, just listen. But my
Speaker 2: dad's concern is because he is older, settling down and
Speaker 2: starting a family that has to be pretty soon. Right.
Speaker 2: Because you don't want to be like a 60 year
Speaker 2: old dad. That's your dad's concern. But for him, is
Speaker 2: that a concern? Does he ever feel like he needs
Speaker 2: to move a little bit quicker because he's at that
Speaker 2: age already or he doesn't mind before we started dating,
Speaker 2: he had come to terms with the fact that he
Speaker 2: may never have a family
Speaker 2: because he didn't want to start a family with the
Speaker 2: wrong person. Right? And he, he, he came to terms
Speaker 2: with the fact he may never have Children, but now
Speaker 2: that we're seriously dating, definitely future planning is in the works, right?
Speaker 2: But we're not trying to put a timeline on it.
Speaker 2: It happens when it happens. But then again, you don't
Speaker 2: want to be a 50 year old that running after
Speaker 2: a three year old toddler. So
Speaker 1: if he
Speaker 1: proposes this year, would
Speaker 2: you say
Speaker 2: you
Speaker 2: say
Speaker 1: yes.
Speaker 2: So anyways moving on.
Speaker 1: Ok. Ok. Seriously, what are some of the benefits of
Speaker 1: dating older men? There's gotta be some like perks in there.
Speaker 2: Definitely. I mean, he's got his shit figured out, ok. Right. Financially, emotionally,
Speaker 2: past traumas, everything's been figured out and he's done a
Speaker 2: lot of work on himself. I'm not saying every 40
Speaker 2: year old has their shit figured out,
Speaker 2: but he in particular did a lot of that in
Speaker 2: the years leading up to us meeting each other. So
Speaker 2: thankfully for that, and he's actually very good at giving
Speaker 2: advice because a lot of things that I experienced at
Speaker 2: work on my personal life he has been through in
Speaker 2: one way or another. So, and I really trust his
Speaker 2: advice and
Speaker 2: I think that comes, it's like wisdom with age. Like
Speaker 2: us giving advice to a 19 year old is the
Speaker 2: same kind of advice for
Speaker 2: me.
Speaker 1: Really? I do, I actually give really good advice. Actually,
Speaker 2: I think the people that give good advice, usually their
Speaker 2: life a bit messy.
Speaker 1: Correct.
Speaker 2: No, but I got to. Right. I just want to
Speaker 2: say that it's really true when they say you grow
Speaker 2: old is mandatory, but like growing up is optional. True.
Speaker 2: Have you girls ever dated someone else
Speaker 2: older than you
Speaker 1: all my life? I've dated older man. How
Speaker 2: much was the oldest
Speaker 1: five years older than me?
Speaker 2: How was that?
Speaker 1: That was good. Like he was, he was mature, he
Speaker 1: was stable and he made me feel very emotionally secure
Speaker 1: and like what you mentioned, financially stable and has everything
Speaker 1: figured out. Basically, he knows what he wants and our
Speaker 1: timeline is all planned out, but unfortunately, that didn't work out.
Speaker 1: So
Speaker 1: I hope he's in a better place now. But there
Speaker 1: was a very, very loving relationship. I would say. What
Speaker 1: about you?
Speaker 2: 1010 years, 10
Speaker 1: years older than you?
Speaker 2: 10, how was that? I did not think the age
Speaker 2: was a problem. Yeah. In fact, all the problems we
Speaker 2: had were nothing age related.
Speaker 1: Nice. Neither was
Speaker 2: it like a different place in life related?
Speaker 1: So, this is like a younger girl, older guy, kind
Speaker 1: of story, right? I have this story from online.
Speaker 1: The girlfriend is the older one and the boyfriend is
Speaker 1: the younger one. Do you
Speaker 2: think when the woman is the older one, people tend
Speaker 2: to like a bit, it's less common, right? But either
Speaker 2: way invites comments. So I think, but, but this girl,
Speaker 2: I mean that he is talking about is 19 years
Speaker 2: older than the boyfriend that is quite a significant age
Speaker 2: gap,
Speaker 1: correct? And this story is from the boyfriend's point of view.
Speaker 1: He says my girlfriend was 19 years older than me
Speaker 1: and we were together for over a decade
Speaker 1: when we met, I was 30 she was 49 with
Speaker 1: two teenage daughters from previous marriages. Despite my commitment and
Speaker 1: love for her and her kids, she still couldn't get
Speaker 1: past the age difference and was constantly worried I might
Speaker 1: leave her for a younger woman or one Children because
Speaker 1: that might be not possible for the girl. She's already
Speaker 1: 49 right? The guy says we broke up five years
Speaker 1: ago and I still miss her and haven't been interested
Speaker 1: in meeting anyone new since
Speaker 2: I think it's very tough being a woman at that age.
Speaker 2: You tend to have a lot of insecurities and it's
Speaker 2: very normal as well. Right. You always think like, there's
Speaker 2: so many young, like, pretty women out there, like he
Speaker 2: could just go off any one of them. But sometimes
Speaker 2: it's about love and this is where you get in
Speaker 2: your own way, but you are your own worst enemy.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of situations where it doesn't work
Speaker 2: out and this is where mindset comes in. So this
Speaker 2: is actually a
Speaker 2: PD story. She says I dated a man 11 years.
Speaker 2: My senior, I was 24 he was 35. We're both
Speaker 2: Singaporeans who matched on an app while I was in
Speaker 2: transit in the country that he was working in. So
Speaker 2: whenever we met in Singapore, we went on a couple
Speaker 2: of dates, we like each other, but we had some
Speaker 2: things that we just couldn't really work out some differences, right?
Speaker 2: The age gap was quite obvious he had an established career.
Speaker 2: I just started my career. He drove a nice car.
Speaker 2: I travel on public transport. His favorite hangout was like
Speaker 2: a fancy swan, like bar in the CBD area. And
Speaker 2: I like going to like, you know, I don't know,
Speaker 2: this days are but place what is this? But
Speaker 2: like the
Speaker 2: AC
Speaker 2: on B street, OK. Very specific. He talked about finance
Speaker 2: and investing, but I hustled like crazy for money and
Speaker 2: all I could think about was saving money for my
Speaker 2: next backpacking trip. Very different places in life. And I
Speaker 2: think that's what happens when you're in your mid twenties
Speaker 2: and they're in their mid thirties. But it also really
Speaker 2: depends on the person. Yeah, like Andrew talks about investing
Speaker 2: all the time. Was the news like, you know,
Speaker 2: is it boring
Speaker 2: you?
Speaker 1: But do you actually like take his advice? Did I
Speaker 1: actually help you about what all is sharing about investments
Speaker 1: and stuff like that?
Speaker 2: No, I like hearing about world news because I don't
Speaker 2: like reading about it. So he is like my newspaper
Speaker 2: but he tells me to my face. So in a
Speaker 2: way I'm learning.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm learning about the world insightful conversations. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: obviously we have very different interests. Like there are certain
Speaker 2: songs that he listens to that I've never heard of
Speaker 2: in my life kind of thing. It's normal. There was
Speaker 2: once we went karaoke and I cute, like a old song,
Speaker 2: like from the eighties. And I said this off for
Speaker 2: my eighties friends
Speaker 2: know I was shocked he didn't know the song. That song.
Speaker 2: What's all that? I can't remember? Mark Anthony, I think,
Speaker 2: I also don't know. So that's when a female dates
Speaker 2: someone that's older, right?
Speaker 2: But like we said, the less common is when a
Speaker 2: female date someone younger than you. I don't know about
Speaker 2: you guys. I've never dated anyone younger than me.
Speaker 1: So this is the funny thing all my life I
Speaker 1: thought I would only date older men, right? Men who
Speaker 1: are more mature, same age. Ok. Ok. You know how
Speaker 1: they say like girls in terms of age faster. Yeah,
Speaker 1: two years more mature than guys of your own age. Mental,
Speaker 1: mental maturity. That's right. So all my life I, I
Speaker 1: knew I needed someone mature. So I've always been looking
Speaker 1: for men older than me, right? But I have had
Speaker 1: experiences dating someone younger than me and there's not like
Speaker 1: 12 years younger but six years younger. Yeah. And that
Speaker 1: turned out so well, really, really, I'm very surprised myself.
Speaker 1: He turned out to be a very mature person. He's
Speaker 1: I think to start with
Speaker 1: and when I finally told my parents about it, I
Speaker 1: was also nervous that what you mentioned just now my
Speaker 1: dad was very hesitant like he couldn't get over the
Speaker 1: fact that this person born in the year 2000 cannot
Speaker 1: not because he's not so common,
Speaker 2: right?
Speaker 1: The father, daughter kind of worried about it.
Speaker 2: Sorry, what's your
Speaker 2: parents age difference?
Speaker 1: Four years. My dad is older than my mom by
Speaker 1: four years. Ok. So naturally he will be worried for me,
Speaker 1: especially my dad sees that I'm very independent. He feels
Speaker 1: like I need someone older than me. But this person
Speaker 1: that who is six years younger than me he takes
Speaker 1: care of me in ways that I never expected a
Speaker 1: 24 year old could or what? Ok. And he gives
Speaker 1: to
Speaker 1: a lot in the healthy way and he gives me
Speaker 1: very sound advice as well. And I realize this is
Speaker 1: something I really need in a partner, sound advice. Someone
Speaker 1: who is disciplined, also looking to achieve the next milestone
Speaker 1: in his life.
Speaker 2: They always say younger men are more immature Like,
Speaker 2: is that true?
Speaker 1: Well, there are instances where I still see the little
Speaker 1: boy in him where maybe we play a game and
Speaker 1: I lose and he ha ha loser
Speaker 1: don't make it. I'm like, oh, that's quite boyish. But
Speaker 1: other than that, I feel like I'm the girl in
Speaker 1: the relationship. Like I'm the younger one in the ways
Speaker 2: that count, he is mature.
Speaker 1: For
Speaker 1: example, he's a better cook. He is a better driver.
Speaker 1: He is better with his emotions and how he deals
Speaker 1: with his time and finances.
Speaker 2: I'm usually a
Speaker 2: bit not skeptical, but I think that people in the
Speaker 2: early to mid twenties, your prefrontal cortex, we speak about
Speaker 2: all the time has not fully developed at that point.
Speaker 2: The problem is you think you're an adult, but actually
Speaker 2: you would learn a lot later on that you don't
Speaker 2: know shit. So has that ever come up? Like, do
Speaker 2: you feel like because I feel like there's nothing wrong
Speaker 2: with the person I just feel at
Speaker 1: that age
Speaker 2: a lot of people are struggling with who they are.
Speaker 2: They're searching for a lot of things. They haven't lived.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Enough.
Speaker 2: Right. I mean, we have
Speaker 2: lived enough to be honest. That's true.
Speaker 1: Do you see that? Maybe in my case, not so
Speaker 1: much because after he got his diploma he decided that
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to go to uni route, stuff like that,
Speaker 1: he came out and started working. So he has had
Speaker 1: years of experience in society. And I think that really,
Speaker 1: really plays a big, big part. So not so much
Speaker 1: for that. There was one time he had this like
Speaker 1: deep conversation with me about how he feels a bit
Speaker 1: pressurized to be
Speaker 1: older in terms of his mentality in order to match
Speaker 1: up to me to which I saw that as an
Speaker 1: issue in our
Speaker 1: like our relationship because I told him I didn't want
Speaker 1: you to be stressed about being as mature as I
Speaker 1: am because the fact is we are six years apart.
Speaker 1: So you just be you. But he feels like he
Speaker 1: wants to work harder for the relationship.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate him for that. Actually,
Speaker 2: I love that. I think it could work out very
Speaker 2: well depending on the person and the person's mindset how
Speaker 2: they grew up. The environment they're in is not really
Speaker 2: about the age, right? Because they are good experiences. There's
Speaker 2: this one lady on Reddit who always dated older like
Speaker 2: ha and then dated someone younger who's like nine years
Speaker 2: younger than her. She was 36 and she's 27 and
Speaker 2: she says
Speaker 2: nine months going strong, he's so supportive. He's so caring. Sometimes.
Speaker 2: It's like they always say, right when it's like a
Speaker 2: younger guy, right, they try even harder for the girl
Speaker 2: because it's like,
Speaker 1: that is
Speaker 1: so true.
Speaker 2: I have a
Speaker 2: friend who is married to someone who is also six
Speaker 2: years younger than her. Ok. So one is early thirties,
Speaker 2: one is late thirties and I think it's fine. I
Speaker 2: look at them and I think
Speaker 2: they've got it worked out. You know, there's this other story,
Speaker 2: a 38 year old woman, she tried dating younger, a
Speaker 2: 26 year old man. So that's about 1012 years and
Speaker 2: she recently ended the relationship. She says that her experience
Speaker 2: with dating younger men, they in their late twenties are
Speaker 2: going through a lot of shit.
Speaker 2: They are like alcoholics, some of them are abusive. They're
Speaker 2: going through a lot of unresolved trauma. But I feel
Speaker 2: like that's more of a person thing than the age thing.
Speaker 2: I agree. Alcoholism can affect you at any age, right?
Speaker 2: This is not a PSA, but I'm just saying it
Speaker 2: could affect you at any age for me. Right? What's
Speaker 2: more important than the age is that you've
Speaker 2: been through stuff? I think that we grows a person
Speaker 2: and that shapes a person. It doesn't matter what age
Speaker 2: it is like someone could very well, be 40 be
Speaker 2: extremely sheltered and have not seen anything. You know what
Speaker 2: I mean? You gotta go through stuff and work on yourself, correct,
Speaker 2: through that
Speaker 2: stuff.
Speaker 1: I've had a girlfriend, she used to date someone nine
Speaker 1: years younger than her and she told me if she
Speaker 1: could turn time back, she would reverse everything she's done
Speaker 1: because that was the worst decision of her life. She
Speaker 1: just felt like
Speaker 1: that man was not mature enough and he was very
Speaker 1: selfish in a sense, constantly thinking about himself. It was
Speaker 1: not a give and take relationship. It was a one
Speaker 1: way
Speaker 1: street.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's a person thing rather than? Definitely.
Speaker 1: And I feel like the man definitely has not seen
Speaker 1: enough of the world, not saying he's a bad person.
Speaker 1: It's just that wrong time, wrong person, wrong place.
Speaker 2: Do you
Speaker 2: girls know any gold diggers? I've heard of some, but
Speaker 2: I personally, I find it hard to form a relationship
Speaker 2: with such people. Interesting, why there's nothing wrong with it?
Speaker 2: I mean, you do you honestly? Right. But I think
Speaker 2: when you're focused on something like that or when that's
Speaker 2: the first thing you look at,
Speaker 2: you tend to be a little bit more surface on
Speaker 2: the things that matter more to me. And hence I
Speaker 2: find it hard for us to build a relationship that way.
Speaker 2: What about you
Speaker 1: hazy? Not really, not in my close friends circle, at least.
Speaker 1: What about you?
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 2: mean, I know of a few. Right?
Speaker 2: And one thing that someone told me right is that
Speaker 2: it is not a crime to want nice things in
Speaker 2: your life. Right? It's not a crime as a girl
Speaker 2: to want someone who is financially stable. Take care of you.
Speaker 2: You don't ever have to lift a finger and work
Speaker 2: in your life. That is not a crime. I think
Speaker 2: the crime here is when you don't treat the guy
Speaker 2: that you're digging gold from in a good and respectful manner,
Speaker 2: if you are a gold digger, but you treat your
Speaker 2: partner like
Speaker 2: incredibly well. I don't see what's wrong with that.
Speaker 1: I don't
Speaker 1: see anything wrong with that honestly, because if the two
Speaker 1: people who are in this transactional relationship are willing and
Speaker 1: they're able to, nobody can say nothing
Speaker 1: else
Speaker 2: because I was having this conversation with my partner, right?
Speaker 2: And I was saying like you guys can really just
Speaker 2: date just for looks and not for love or whatever.
Speaker 2: And he said I just as girls can do the
Speaker 2: same thing, right? They can just date for money. I
Speaker 2: think guys can just date for looks. They just want
Speaker 2: a trophy wife,
Speaker 2: but they don't need romantic love. And that's one of
Speaker 2: the biggest stereotypes. It's like younger woman, older men. And then,
Speaker 2: and then the man is very rich and
Speaker 1: it brings me
Speaker 1: to my next point. Have you heard of men who
Speaker 1: are in their midlife? Crisis. They are just trying to
Speaker 1: figure themselves out, find their identity by trying to date
Speaker 1: younger women.
Speaker 2: Try to stay
Speaker 2: down. Yes. Correct. So, like they don't want or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ok. I've heard of this, you know, like this
Speaker 1: is a friend of a friend
Speaker 1: and she was in this office where her boss would, like,
Speaker 1: hit on her and the boss is like, 20 something
Speaker 1: years older than she. The boss has basically a whole family.
Speaker 1: But why is he doing that? Maybe he's trying to
Speaker 1: stay young at heart.
Speaker 2: Do
Speaker 2: you think it's like validation as well? Like a value
Speaker 1: to the young?
Speaker 2: I'm still, I'm still relevant in this. Well, I think
Speaker 2: it's just fear of aging. I think that's what it is.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes when you're in a relationship with a
Speaker 2: big age gap,
Speaker 2: it could be that there feels like almost like a
Speaker 2: power imbalance. I think I talked about this before with
Speaker 2: this current partner. Like, there was some financial imbalance, right?
Speaker 2: And I felt some type of way about it because
Speaker 2: it was the first time it ever happened to me
Speaker 2: in my life. Right. And that can happen. But I
Speaker 2: think you need to be able to treat each other
Speaker 2: in a respectful way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And
Speaker 1: I'm sure that's the case for a
Speaker 1: relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. With the whole trope of the older women
Speaker 2: and younger men,
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people sometimes think that, you know,
Speaker 2: the older woman is kind of like mothering, the younger man,
Speaker 2: like taking care of him like a mother because they
Speaker 2: are older and they're more nurturing in your experience having
Speaker 2: dated younger men that whole like mother son, like mothering. No, no.
Speaker 1: In fact, sometimes I feel like it's a father daughter.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what I mean? It's so mature.
Speaker 1: It's a very different dynamics that I cannot explain. And
Speaker 1: sometimes I think is luck, luck
Speaker 2: luck. There are also some situations where younger men date
Speaker 2: older women or Cougars as they call them. You're not
Speaker 2: a Cougar hazel, you're very young. What
Speaker 1: is a cougar in the
Speaker 1: forties or fif
Speaker 2: don't know. What do you think Cougar? At least how old?
Speaker 2: 56 I think anything, 20 years, age gap and over
Speaker 2: is like Cougar. So a lot of younger men
Speaker 2: apparently through movies and stuff like that, date these Cougars
Speaker 2: for like sexual experimentation. It's like a fantasy thing. It's
Speaker 2: like when like when a Cougar sleeps with a virgin
Speaker 2: kind of thing, like teaches him about sex and all
Speaker 2: I'm saying this is in movies. I'm not saying it's
Speaker 2: really a movie
Speaker 2: he watching actually.
Speaker 2: Ok.
Speaker 1: But there's some studies found on age gap relationships and
Speaker 1: whether they can work out or not. So this is
Speaker 1: very interesting. A 2014 US study found that the average
Speaker 1: age gap in relationships was 2.3 years. Ok. So she
Speaker 1: plus minus and across Western countries 8% of heterosexual couples
Speaker 1: have an age gap of 10 years or more. These
Speaker 1: generally involve older men with younger women. About 1% of
Speaker 1: age gap couples involve an older women
Speaker 1: with younger men. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2: I think some research has also pointed to the fact
Speaker 2: that if you are closer in age, it's more likely
Speaker 2: that you will have a long lasting relationship because
Speaker 1: your interest are more alignment,
Speaker 2: correct because you are experiencing life challenges and stages at
Speaker 2: the same time, you're more aligned. However, historically, if you
Speaker 2: are in the middle or upper class, basically like higher
Speaker 2: high says, OK, you are more likely to date with
Speaker 2: a bigger age
Speaker 2: gap. For example, a man with more economic power like
Speaker 2: Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, sure, they are less likely to
Speaker 2: date someone their age. OK.
Speaker 1: Some studies find that the relationship satisfaction reported by age
Speaker 1: gap couples is higher,
Speaker 2: good news
Speaker 1: and these couples
Speaker 1: also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower
Speaker 1: jealousy compared to similar age couples
Speaker 2: is a personality problem. The person is me.
Speaker 2: I'm working on it. You're never a problem. It's not
Speaker 2: a problem. Thank you very much, but it's a little setback.
Speaker 2: It's a work in progress. Thank you. Thank you. The
Speaker 1: next point over three quarters of couples where younger women
Speaker 1: are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships.
Speaker 2: OK?
Speaker 2: OK. I think one of the biggest things that for
Speaker 2: a lot of these relationships, according to research and statistics
Speaker 2: is social disapproval. If you believe that people,
Speaker 2: the proof of your relationship, you are bound to break
Speaker 2: up because you are like fighting against yourself. Correct. Once
Speaker 2: you let people's words get to you, opinions and thoughts
Speaker 2: and judgment, get to you like you will, it affects
Speaker 2: your relationship. My question is why are you allowing people
Speaker 2: on the outside? It could affect your relationship.
Speaker 1: It's not common.
Speaker 2: No, I tell you like example, I give hazy an example.
Speaker 2: Let's say your father said
Speaker 2: to you. I don't approve of you dating someone younger
Speaker 2: than you. You break up. I'm going to disown you
Speaker 2: as a daughter.
Speaker 1: I would sit down and speak to him about it
Speaker 1: and I'm very sure he will be won over by
Speaker 1: my words. If not, I would have been a host
Speaker 1: for nothing for seven years.
Speaker 2: Correct. Right.
Speaker 2: I'm saying this is the stuff that really happens in
Speaker 2: the world in basically more serious situations where it's like
Speaker 2: you feel like you're bring back to a corner. Exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So
Speaker 2: anyways, I think when it comes down to it all
Speaker 2: in all the success of a relationship doesn't really have
Speaker 2: to do with age or age gap that does come
Speaker 2: into play. But it's a lot more about your beliefs,
Speaker 2: your values, right? Where you're headed to in life, you
Speaker 2: have the same ambitions. It's more aligned with that.
Speaker 1: I agree. So for now let's play a little game
Speaker 1: our producers have actually prepare some questions for us where
Speaker 1: we have to guess the
Speaker 1: amongst celebrity couples.
Speaker 2: Let's sing, let's sing. First up. We have Blake Lively
Speaker 2: and Ryan Reynolds. Yes. Age gap. I don't actually know this. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's the game. Right. Thanks. I've never thought it was big.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say 12.
Speaker 1: Who's older, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy
Speaker 2: who was big. I just read about it. What's the answer?
Speaker 2: But I did so fun. But I don't think men
Speaker 2: in Hollywood take care of themselves, like, maybe begging
Speaker 2: people to take care of them
Speaker 1: in this photo. He looks a lot older than Blake.
Speaker 2: Lively. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: just the same my notes. Ok. This is, ah, Priyanka
Speaker 2: Chopra and Nick Jonas, she's older than
Speaker 2: he is.
Speaker 2: She's a Cougar. 10 years.
Speaker 2: No, I say 20 my God. Really?
Speaker 1: Really? What do you
Speaker 2: say? 8, 10 years? But he looks like a boy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually,
Speaker 2: now it's
Speaker 1: the way he takes care of himself. Ok. Moving on.
Speaker 2: Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington
Speaker 1: 16 looks like 25.
Speaker 2: 30
Speaker 2: 20 years.
Speaker 2: Some people like bald man. Ok. Kris Jenner and Corey gamble.
Speaker 2: 30
Speaker 1: 30 years. Like the female is older
Speaker 1: than the.
Speaker 2: Yes. Chris Jenner is the ultimate cougar. You go girl.
Speaker 2: 20
Speaker 2: six. Wow.
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna guess 24
Speaker 2: 25.
Speaker 2: Ok. Could you ever do hazy? 20
Speaker 1: five years? Five years. I'm 50 let's say I'm 50.
Speaker 2: She's 29. Now. He be four years old. Yeah. You know,
Speaker 2: like some people who are like 2930 single, maybe they're
Speaker 2: still in kindergarten. Wait, it's ok.
Speaker 1: What the hell?
Speaker 2: Ok. Last one, this one got age gap, Barry Cohen
Speaker 2: and Sabrina Carpenter, I say 54.
Speaker 1: Ok. So 4567.
Speaker 2: Wait, but who's younger? Ok. So, really,
Speaker 1: so young. She's a T
Speaker 2: OK. Very.
Speaker 2: Yes. Age gap.
Speaker 2: Ok. So we've talked about large age gaps, right? And
Speaker 2: statistically it's proven that smaller or closer age gaps have
Speaker 2: a more successful relationship. Comparing both large and small. I
Speaker 2: think we both have experiences with both. Which do you
Speaker 2: guys prefer and why?
Speaker 1: I think it's nothing to do with the age. It's
Speaker 1: more to do with the person. If I were, to
Speaker 1: be very honest, my most happy relationship in my life
Speaker 1: is the one where I dated someone six years younger
Speaker 1: than me.
Speaker 1: It's just because of him as a person. I think
Speaker 1: I lucked out.
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 2: feel like once now that I've gone older, you never,
Speaker 2: you never go back. It's a bit hard to go back. I,
Speaker 2: I like it. I feel very
Speaker 2: ok. We've established this. Yes, I'm independent. I make my
Speaker 2: own money. I can take care of myself, but it's
Speaker 2: nice to be taken care of, to be young and like,
Speaker 2: I don't care that all of you on social media,
Speaker 2: call my daddy. I know what you're calling him. It's ok.
Speaker 2: I call him the same thing too.
Speaker 2: But it's true. No, they fight with each other on
Speaker 2: our comments. You know, like all my comments, like they'll
Speaker 2: be like, oh, she's just a gold digger. Then someone
Speaker 2: will fight with him and say, ha you calling her
Speaker 2: a gold digger? Are you stupid or what? Then if 55555,
Speaker 2: I'm just reading, I'm like having your own, my own
Speaker 2: fun reading the currents. Anyways, you make me laugh like
Speaker 2: the in between.
Speaker 1: Ok, I like the
Speaker 2: not too big, not too small. What are we talking about?
Speaker 2: Ok. So a couple of years older is a sweet
Speaker 2: spot for you. Great. But can be younger, can, can,
Speaker 1: can do younger but
Speaker 2: she'll be very assertive with a young, wanna be,
Speaker 2: you know, she wants to be a baby.
Speaker 1: My older guy can
Speaker 2: is can but I just want to turn my brain off.
Speaker 2: I think this is also like what Hazy said, where
Speaker 2: you said? Because the guy you dated, who's younger, he
Speaker 2: had been in the workforce already. He been in society already.
Speaker 2: Imagine if he was a 24 year old student. Very different.
Speaker 2: I was still in uni, very
Speaker 2: different.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I remember he once told me he hasn't
Speaker 1: been seeing anyone for like five years and he had
Speaker 1: said that because he was always looking
Speaker 1: at pierce his age, right? He never thought to look
Speaker 1: for someone older than he because it was uncommon, like
Speaker 1: they were a little bit different. He felt like maybe
Speaker 1: in terms of thinking they were a bit different and
Speaker 1: he chose not to step into any relationship. But now
Speaker 1: that he knows that he needs someone more mature, this
Speaker 1: is how we find each other we connected, I guess
Speaker 1: in a sense and it worked out
Speaker 1: perfectly.
Speaker 2: So I think
Speaker 2: what I've got it from today's episode is expand your horizons.
Speaker 2: Not too far, like I said, not like never say
Speaker 1: never within acceptable range.
Speaker 2: Sure. Legal. That's number one, number two, expand your horizons and,
Speaker 2: and don't be afraid to date older or younger. You've
Speaker 2: never tried before. You wouldn't know if you like it
Speaker 2: or not really,
Speaker 1: it's
Speaker 1: not, the age, age is just a number. It is
Speaker 1: the person
Speaker 2: if you
Speaker 2: want to try something, but the age is stopping you.
Speaker 2: Maybe you should try and convince yourself to look past
Speaker 2: it because you never know. Yeah, and try to convince
Speaker 2: yourself to look past the fact that your friend called
Speaker 2: him an uncle.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And, and you never know. You may be rewarded.
Speaker 2: Very Andrew
Speaker 1: is
Speaker 1: going to be so heartbroken after he listens.
Speaker 2: He
Speaker 2: like he knows when I see him, I call him
Speaker 2: that you think. Ok, call him what uncle?
Speaker 1: Well, anyways, if you have any thoughts or comments about
Speaker 1: this episode, we are more than happy to hear them.
Speaker 1: Drop us. A comment on Instagram at a clarity.co.
Speaker 2: That's Right. We hope you had fun. You can listen
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Speaker 2: wait to catch you next time. Go catch up on
Speaker 2: all our latest episodes. Bye, see you. Bye.