WEBVTT - Does Age Matter? Dating way older and way younger 0:00:00.009 --> 0:00:00.560 Hi Seo. 0:00:00.568 --> 0:00:00.809 Hey 0:00:00.949 --> 0:00:01.039 Cesar 0:00:01.279 --> 0:00:01.909 and I'm Jermaine 0:00:01.919 --> 0:00:03.970 and welcome back to another episode of Cla 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:04.800 Hush. 0:00:07.019 --> 0:00:07.539 You can't 0:00:07.550 --> 0:00:08.039 tell our 0:00:08.079 --> 0:00:12.369 outfit go with the theme of the episode today because 0:00:12.380 --> 0:00:14.760 we are sitting, come over to youtube to see us. Ok. 0:00:15.159 --> 0:00:17.610 But if you are on podcast Drive safe and then 0:00:17.620 --> 0:00:20.069 like watch us later. Ok, Jimmy, you want to describe 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:20.170 your 0:00:20.180 --> 0:00:20.790 outfit? 0:00:20.799 --> 0:00:24.059 So today we are talking about love across generations. Ok. 0:00:24.069 --> 0:00:24.459 I don't know why 0:00:24.545 --> 0:00:27.754 it's so dramatic. We're basically talking about dating people who 0:00:27.764 --> 0:00:30.145 are much older and much younger than you. So we 0:00:30.155 --> 0:00:33.223 decided to come in like boyfriend vibes. So I'm wearing 0:00:33.235 --> 0:00:37.223 my boyfriend's t shirt. I'm wearing oversized T or like, 0:00:38.645 --> 0:00:41.915 yeah. And this is a men's collection, 0:00:43.250 --> 0:00:46.860 Braven collab with a for arcade. And he sent me 0:00:46.869 --> 0:00:49.479 a set and I thought, wow, how timely, 0:00:49.549 --> 0:00:50.150 very cute 0:00:50.229 --> 0:00:51.900 and it's very oversized as well. 0:00:51.909 --> 0:00:52.330 This 0:00:52.340 --> 0:00:55.180 is the age old question. How age old? Because does 0:00:55.209 --> 0:01:02.080 age matter in a relationship? Yes or no? 123, yes. Ok. 0:01:02.090 --> 0:01:05.919 I think the age difference doesn't matter. I think the 0:01:05.930 --> 0:01:07.268 age matters. 0:01:08.300 --> 0:01:11.500 So like the number of years doesn't matter. But what 0:01:11.510 --> 0:01:14.480 age you are when you're in that relationship matters. Correct. So, 0:01:14.489 --> 0:01:18.779 you're 29 this year and just 41. Yes. Correct. 12 0:01:18.790 --> 0:01:21.309 years difference. That's correct. If you were 18 and he 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:21.910 was 30 0:01:23.019 --> 0:01:23.470 see, 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.470 you know, I mean, that makes sense. Ok. 0:01:26.489 --> 0:01:30.128 I think the number does not matter, but your mind 0:01:30.139 --> 0:01:33.300 set and your mental at that age matters. So let 0:01:33.510 --> 0:01:37.389 at 18 and he's 30. But if you're both, your 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.080 mindsets are aligned, why not? I've mentioned this a harsh 0:01:40.089 --> 0:01:43.379 podcast before. I have a friend who was 22 when 0:01:43.389 --> 0:01:47.029 she met her boyfriend, five years younger than her. So 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:51.160 the boy was 1617, something about that. They met each 0:01:51.169 --> 0:01:54.169 other when they were working part time at this movie place. 0:01:54.180 --> 0:01:57.220 This cinema so sweet. Now they're almost getting married, they're 0:01:57.230 --> 0:01:58.440 getting married in a few months 0:01:58.540 --> 0:02:01.680 time. Like how incredible is that she's my age now. 0:02:01.690 --> 0:02:04.120 So they've been together for solid like 78 years 0:02:04.129 --> 0:02:04.860 mindset 0:02:04.870 --> 0:02:08.440 matters. That's why I actually agree with the both of you. 0:02:08.508 --> 0:02:11.149 But I think age matters in the sense that Azura 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.149 said it the age you are when you go into 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.309 the relationship. So obviously I have a 12 year age gap, 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.508 but I'm much older now. I was 28 when I 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:22.460 got into this relationship, right? I have a best friend. She, 0:02:22.470 --> 0:02:23.520 when she was, 0:02:24.429 --> 0:02:28.470 when she was 18, she was dating someone 18 years 0:02:28.479 --> 0:02:32.418 older than her. So she was 36 and this is 0:02:32.429 --> 0:02:34.490 where mindset comes in. He was at a very different 0:02:34.500 --> 0:02:38.100 stage of his life. She had just graduated from Polly. 0:02:38.110 --> 0:02:41.470 He wanted to marry her and have babies with her 0:02:41.649 --> 0:02:43.429 and she was like, bro. Yeah, 0:02:43.830 --> 0:02:48.360 I just got my diploma, like, calm down, right. The mindset. 0:02:48.369 --> 0:02:50.449 The age everything was wrong. But 0:02:50.460 --> 0:02:53.970 actually some women prefer that after graduation, they want to 0:02:53.979 --> 0:02:55.788 settle down. Start a family. That's true. 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:58.639 But I think she was more career oriented and ambitious. 0:02:58.649 --> 0:03:01.428 It was not for her at that stage in her life. Yeah. 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:01.919 So 0:03:01.929 --> 0:03:04.549 share with us about your relationship journey. When you just 0:03:04.559 --> 0:03:07.350 told your family and your friends, you're dating someone 12 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:08.960 years older than you. What were your reactions? 0:03:08.970 --> 0:03:09.779 Like one 0:03:09.788 --> 0:03:10.839 of my younger friends 0:03:11.255 --> 0:03:15.095 when she, she's much younger. Her starts with t see 0:03:15.106 --> 0:03:17.856 how young she is when she first met him. She 0:03:17.865 --> 0:03:21.725 referred to him in our private conversations as uncle, as uncle. Oh, 0:03:21.936 --> 0:03:26.576 I guess it so yikes, right. The guy. But she's 0:03:26.585 --> 0:03:28.606 much younger than me. To be fair. I never told 0:03:28.615 --> 0:03:31.954 him that. Don't listen to this anyways. My older friends, 0:03:31.966 --> 0:03:33.966 like you guys, I don't really think you guys. What, 0:03:33.975 --> 0:03:36.166 what do you guys know? We have, we first heard 0:03:36.175 --> 0:03:36.555 about it. 0:03:36.565 --> 0:03:38.016 Yeah. Didn't matter to us. 0:03:38.852 --> 0:03:40.201 Didn't matter. All. Of course 0:03:40.212 --> 0:03:42.052 not if it makes you happy. That's the most 0:03:42.061 --> 0:03:42.501 important thing. 0:03:42.701 --> 0:03:44.832 See, I think a lot of my friends felt that 0:03:44.841 --> 0:03:49.442 way with my parents. I think before you told them? 0:03:49.472 --> 0:03:53.472 What were your expectations going into it? Did you ever think? Like, wow, 0:03:53.832 --> 0:03:56.011 they're gonna say something about the age. I was very 0:03:56.022 --> 0:03:58.332 nervous to tell them because I felt like they would say, oh, 0:03:58.341 --> 0:04:00.712 this guy is too old for you. Like, why such 0:04:00.722 --> 0:04:02.522 a big age gap? Because in the past I only 0:04:02.531 --> 0:04:05.151 dated like, maybe two years my senior and stuff like that. 0:04:05.619 --> 0:04:07.990 So I was very, very nervous about that. But I 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:10.960 think when I told my parents what mattered more to 0:04:10.970 --> 0:04:13.460 my dad, he totally, like he had 12 years. Right. 0:04:13.470 --> 0:04:16.368 He didn't even, like, it wasn't even an issue for him. 0:04:16.380 --> 0:04:18.769 He wanted to know what does this guy do? Has 0:04:18.779 --> 0:04:21.170 this guy made a life for himself? Can this guy 0:04:21.178 --> 0:04:23.260 take care of my daughter? Right. Not that my daughter 0:04:23.269 --> 0:04:25.920 needs taking care of, but it's that father, daughter kind 0:04:25.928 --> 0:04:28.719 of worry. That was where his mind went to straight 0:04:28.730 --> 0:04:31.750 away and I didn't actually have that much worry about. 0:04:31.859 --> 0:04:34.329 But I do think that my 0:04:34.434 --> 0:04:38.665 relatives do talk about it not to my face, but 0:04:38.674 --> 0:04:39.625 I do think they talk about 0:04:40.394 --> 0:04:43.095 time gossip when they need some things to chat about. 0:04:43.303 --> 0:04:43.974 That kind of thing. 0:04:44.204 --> 0:04:47.494 She's dating, like, you know, someone who's 12 years old. 0:04:47.505 --> 0:04:49.815 These are pretty much harmless conversations. 0:04:49.825 --> 0:04:50.493 It's harmless, 0:04:50.505 --> 0:04:53.225 it's harmless. But being 12 years older, one of the 0:04:53.234 --> 0:04:55.885 challenges is that he is at a different stage of 0:04:55.894 --> 0:04:58.875 his life. Thankfully for me, I think his industry keeps 0:04:58.885 --> 0:05:01.174 him young. So he does listen to the same music 0:05:01.184 --> 0:05:03.214 that I do. Yeah. Sometimes he kicks in a bit. 0:05:03.309 --> 0:05:07.609 Celine Dion. I'm like, ok, just, just listen. But my 0:05:07.619 --> 0:05:11.419 dad's concern is because he is older, settling down and 0:05:11.428 --> 0:05:14.769 starting a family that has to be pretty soon. Right. 0:05:14.779 --> 0:05:16.640 Because you don't want to be like a 60 year 0:05:16.649 --> 0:05:21.238 old dad. That's your dad's concern. But for him, is 0:05:21.250 --> 0:05:23.649 that a concern? Does he ever feel like he needs 0:05:23.660 --> 0:05:26.179 to move a little bit quicker because he's at that 0:05:26.190 --> 0:05:28.969 age already or he doesn't mind before we started dating, 0:05:28.980 --> 0:05:30.690 he had come to terms with the fact that he 0:05:30.700 --> 0:05:32.029 may never have a family 0:05:32.195 --> 0:05:33.844 because he didn't want to start a family with the 0:05:33.855 --> 0:05:37.125 wrong person. Right? And he, he, he came to terms 0:05:37.135 --> 0:05:39.404 with the fact he may never have Children, but now 0:05:39.415 --> 0:05:45.325 that we're seriously dating, definitely future planning is in the works, right? 0:05:45.334 --> 0:05:46.924 But we're not trying to put a timeline on it. 0:05:46.934 --> 0:05:49.363 It happens when it happens. But then again, you don't 0:05:49.375 --> 0:05:51.174 want to be a 50 year old that running after 0:05:51.184 --> 0:05:52.744 a three year old toddler. So 0:05:52.755 --> 0:05:53.075 if he 0:05:53.084 --> 0:05:54.144 proposes this year, would 0:05:54.255 --> 0:05:54.385 you say 0:05:57.125 --> 0:05:57.144 you 0:05:57.315 --> 0:05:57.434 say 0:05:57.674 --> 0:05:57.703 yes. 0:05:58.744 --> 0:06:00.904 So anyways moving on. 0:06:02.660 --> 0:06:04.869 Ok. Ok. Seriously, what are some of the benefits of 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.229 dating older men? There's gotta be some like perks in there. 0:06:07.238 --> 0:06:13.230 Definitely. I mean, he's got his shit figured out, ok. Right. Financially, emotionally, 0:06:13.238 --> 0:06:16.299 past traumas, everything's been figured out and he's done a 0:06:16.309 --> 0:06:18.339 lot of work on himself. I'm not saying every 40 0:06:18.350 --> 0:06:20.470 year old has their shit figured out, 0:06:20.665 --> 0:06:23.613 but he in particular did a lot of that in 0:06:23.625 --> 0:06:26.015 the years leading up to us meeting each other. So 0:06:26.024 --> 0:06:28.375 thankfully for that, and he's actually very good at giving 0:06:28.385 --> 0:06:30.825 advice because a lot of things that I experienced at 0:06:30.834 --> 0:06:33.804 work on my personal life he has been through in 0:06:33.815 --> 0:06:36.475 one way or another. So, and I really trust his 0:06:36.484 --> 0:06:38.475 advice and 0:06:39.209 --> 0:06:42.058 I think that comes, it's like wisdom with age. Like 0:06:42.070 --> 0:06:44.420 us giving advice to a 19 year old is the 0:06:44.428 --> 0:06:46.099 same kind of advice for 0:06:46.109 --> 0:06:46.299 me. 0:06:46.309 --> 0:06:50.339 Really? I do, I actually give really good advice. Actually, 0:06:50.899 --> 0:06:53.170 I think the people that give good advice, usually their 0:06:53.178 --> 0:06:54.428 life a bit messy. 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:56.190 Correct. 0:06:56.488 --> 0:06:58.130 No, but I got to. Right. I just want to 0:06:58.140 --> 0:07:00.618 say that it's really true when they say you grow 0:07:00.649 --> 0:07:04.750 old is mandatory, but like growing up is optional. True. 0:07:05.029 --> 0:07:06.458 Have you girls ever dated someone else 0:07:06.540 --> 0:07:07.440 older than you 0:07:07.450 --> 0:07:09.500 all my life? I've dated older man. How 0:07:09.510 --> 0:07:10.619 much was the oldest 0:07:10.630 --> 0:07:12.399 five years older than me? 0:07:12.619 --> 0:07:13.679 How was that? 0:07:13.690 --> 0:07:16.209 That was good. Like he was, he was mature, he 0:07:16.220 --> 0:07:20.040 was stable and he made me feel very emotionally secure 0:07:20.049 --> 0:07:23.290 and like what you mentioned, financially stable and has everything 0:07:23.299 --> 0:07:26.480 figured out. Basically, he knows what he wants and our 0:07:26.489 --> 0:07:30.040 timeline is all planned out, but unfortunately, that didn't work out. 0:07:30.049 --> 0:07:30.589 So 0:07:30.989 --> 0:07:32.929 I hope he's in a better place now. But there 0:07:32.940 --> 0:07:36.619 was a very, very loving relationship. I would say. What 0:07:36.630 --> 0:07:37.089 about you? 0:07:37.589 --> 0:07:40.000 1010 years, 10 0:07:40.010 --> 0:07:40.829 years older than you? 0:07:40.839 --> 0:07:44.119 10, how was that? I did not think the age 0:07:44.130 --> 0:07:46.989 was a problem. Yeah. In fact, all the problems we 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:48.779 had were nothing age related. 0:07:48.859 --> 0:07:49.980 Nice. Neither was 0:07:49.989 --> 0:07:53.480 it like a different place in life related? 0:07:54.059 --> 0:07:56.320 So, this is like a younger girl, older guy, kind 0:07:56.329 --> 0:07:58.609 of story, right? I have this story from online. 0:07:58.970 --> 0:08:01.790 The girlfriend is the older one and the boyfriend is 0:08:01.799 --> 0:08:02.970 the younger one. Do you 0:08:02.980 --> 0:08:05.320 think when the woman is the older one, people tend 0:08:05.329 --> 0:08:10.070 to like a bit, it's less common, right? But either 0:08:10.079 --> 0:08:13.329 way invites comments. So I think, but, but this girl, 0:08:13.339 --> 0:08:16.869 I mean that he is talking about is 19 years 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:20.040 older than the boyfriend that is quite a significant age 0:08:20.049 --> 0:08:20.239 gap, 0:08:20.250 --> 0:08:23.019 correct? And this story is from the boyfriend's point of view. 0:08:23.239 --> 0:08:25.820 He says my girlfriend was 19 years older than me 0:08:25.829 --> 0:08:27.859 and we were together for over a decade 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.910 when we met, I was 30 she was 49 with 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:34.880 two teenage daughters from previous marriages. Despite my commitment and 0:08:34.890 --> 0:08:36.859 love for her and her kids, she still couldn't get 0:08:36.869 --> 0:08:39.968 past the age difference and was constantly worried I might 0:08:39.979 --> 0:08:43.000 leave her for a younger woman or one Children because 0:08:43.010 --> 0:08:44.799 that might be not possible for the girl. She's already 0:08:44.809 --> 0:08:48.348 49 right? The guy says we broke up five years 0:08:48.359 --> 0:08:50.729 ago and I still miss her and haven't been interested 0:08:50.739 --> 0:08:52.340 in meeting anyone new since 0:08:53.630 --> 0:08:57.539 I think it's very tough being a woman at that age. 0:08:57.659 --> 0:09:00.098 You tend to have a lot of insecurities and it's 0:09:00.109 --> 0:09:02.330 very normal as well. Right. You always think like, there's 0:09:02.340 --> 0:09:04.299 so many young, like, pretty women out there, like he 0:09:04.309 --> 0:09:06.348 could just go off any one of them. But sometimes 0:09:06.359 --> 0:09:08.419 it's about love and this is where you get in 0:09:08.429 --> 0:09:11.020 your own way, but you are your own worst enemy. 0:09:11.150 --> 0:09:13.520 There are a lot of situations where it doesn't work 0:09:13.530 --> 0:09:16.400 out and this is where mindset comes in. So this 0:09:16.409 --> 0:09:16.770 is actually a 0:09:16.854 --> 0:09:20.755 PD story. She says I dated a man 11 years. 0:09:20.765 --> 0:09:24.674 My senior, I was 24 he was 35. We're both 0:09:24.684 --> 0:09:28.244 Singaporeans who matched on an app while I was in 0:09:28.255 --> 0:09:30.674 transit in the country that he was working in. So 0:09:30.684 --> 0:09:33.304 whenever we met in Singapore, we went on a couple 0:09:33.315 --> 0:09:37.575 of dates, we like each other, but we had some 0:09:37.585 --> 0:09:40.594 things that we just couldn't really work out some differences, right? 0:09:40.859 --> 0:09:44.359 The age gap was quite obvious he had an established career. 0:09:44.369 --> 0:09:47.119 I just started my career. He drove a nice car. 0:09:47.130 --> 0:09:50.309 I travel on public transport. His favorite hangout was like 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.979 a fancy swan, like bar in the CBD area. And 0:09:53.989 --> 0:09:56.229 I like going to like, you know, I don't know, 0:09:56.299 --> 0:09:58.599 this days are but place what is this? But 0:09:59.260 --> 0:10:00.270 like the 0:10:00.330 --> 0:10:02.179 AC 0:10:02.650 --> 0:10:06.780 on B street, OK. Very specific. He talked about finance 0:10:06.789 --> 0:10:10.289 and investing, but I hustled like crazy for money and 0:10:10.299 --> 0:10:12.179 all I could think about was saving money for my 0:10:12.190 --> 0:10:16.150 next backpacking trip. Very different places in life. And I 0:10:16.159 --> 0:10:18.839 think that's what happens when you're in your mid twenties 0:10:18.849 --> 0:10:21.280 and they're in their mid thirties. But it also really 0:10:21.289 --> 0:10:24.369 depends on the person. Yeah, like Andrew talks about investing 0:10:24.380 --> 0:10:27.059 all the time. Was the news like, you know, 0:10:28.309 --> 0:10:29.299 is it boring 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:29.659 you? 0:10:30.070 --> 0:10:32.630 But do you actually like take his advice? Did I 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:35.549 actually help you about what all is sharing about investments 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:36.260 and stuff like that? 0:10:36.270 --> 0:10:38.700 No, I like hearing about world news because I don't 0:10:38.710 --> 0:10:41.500 like reading about it. So he is like my newspaper 0:10:41.510 --> 0:10:43.750 but he tells me to my face. So in a 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:45.140 way I'm learning. 0:10:45.500 --> 0:10:48.809 Yes, I'm learning about the world insightful conversations. Yeah, I mean, 0:10:48.820 --> 0:10:52.549 obviously we have very different interests. Like there are certain 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.559 songs that he listens to that I've never heard of 0:10:54.570 --> 0:10:57.710 in my life kind of thing. It's normal. There was 0:10:57.719 --> 0:11:01.119 once we went karaoke and I cute, like a old song, 0:11:01.130 --> 0:11:03.130 like from the eighties. And I said this off for 0:11:03.140 --> 0:11:04.200 my eighties friends 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.989 know I was shocked he didn't know the song. That song. 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.619 What's all that? I can't remember? Mark Anthony, I think, 0:11:11.710 --> 0:11:15.939 I also don't know. So that's when a female dates 0:11:15.950 --> 0:11:17.539 someone that's older, right? 0:11:18.239 --> 0:11:21.390 But like we said, the less common is when a 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.559 female date someone younger than you. I don't know about 0:11:24.570 --> 0:11:26.989 you guys. I've never dated anyone younger than me. 0:11:27.070 --> 0:11:29.710 So this is the funny thing all my life I 0:11:29.719 --> 0:11:33.489 thought I would only date older men, right? Men who 0:11:33.500 --> 0:11:36.840 are more mature, same age. Ok. Ok. You know how 0:11:36.849 --> 0:11:39.799 they say like girls in terms of age faster. Yeah, 0:11:39.809 --> 0:11:42.260 two years more mature than guys of your own age. Mental, 0:11:42.719 --> 0:11:45.340 mental maturity. That's right. So all my life I, I 0:11:45.349 --> 0:11:47.679 knew I needed someone mature. So I've always been looking 0:11:47.690 --> 0:11:50.520 for men older than me, right? But I have had 0:11:50.530 --> 0:11:53.349 experiences dating someone younger than me and there's not like 0:11:53.359 --> 0:11:58.280 12 years younger but six years younger. Yeah. And that 0:11:58.289 --> 0:12:02.579 turned out so well, really, really, I'm very surprised myself. 0:12:02.739 --> 0:12:05.770 He turned out to be a very mature person. He's 0:12:05.780 --> 0:12:06.530 I think to start with 0:12:08.650 --> 0:12:11.760 and when I finally told my parents about it, I 0:12:11.770 --> 0:12:14.839 was also nervous that what you mentioned just now my 0:12:14.849 --> 0:12:17.340 dad was very hesitant like he couldn't get over the 0:12:17.349 --> 0:12:22.010 fact that this person born in the year 2000 cannot 0:12:22.020 --> 0:12:23.989 not because he's not so common, 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:24.200 right? 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:25.630 The father, daughter kind of worried about it. 0:12:25.659 --> 0:12:26.590 Sorry, what's your 0:12:26.599 --> 0:12:28.189 parents age difference? 0:12:29.866 --> 0:12:32.176 Four years. My dad is older than my mom by 0:12:32.184 --> 0:12:35.245 four years. Ok. So naturally he will be worried for me, 0:12:35.255 --> 0:12:38.356 especially my dad sees that I'm very independent. He feels 0:12:38.366 --> 0:12:41.276 like I need someone older than me. But this person 0:12:41.335 --> 0:12:44.346 that who is six years younger than me he takes 0:12:44.356 --> 0:12:46.875 care of me in ways that I never expected a 0:12:46.885 --> 0:12:50.915 24 year old could or what? Ok. And he gives 0:12:50.926 --> 0:12:51.065 to 0:12:51.552 --> 0:12:55.801 a lot in the healthy way and he gives me 0:12:55.812 --> 0:12:59.052 very sound advice as well. And I realize this is 0:12:59.062 --> 0:13:03.062 something I really need in a partner, sound advice. Someone 0:13:03.072 --> 0:13:08.291 who is disciplined, also looking to achieve the next milestone 0:13:08.302 --> 0:13:09.410 in his life. 0:13:09.421 --> 0:13:12.262 They always say younger men are more immature Like, 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:13.539 is that true? 0:13:13.590 --> 0:13:16.130 Well, there are instances where I still see the little 0:13:16.140 --> 0:13:18.840 boy in him where maybe we play a game and 0:13:18.849 --> 0:13:20.890 I lose and he ha ha loser 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:26.030 don't make it. I'm like, oh, that's quite boyish. But 0:13:26.039 --> 0:13:28.118 other than that, I feel like I'm the girl in 0:13:28.130 --> 0:13:30.979 the relationship. Like I'm the younger one in the ways 0:13:30.989 --> 0:13:33.179 that count, he is mature. 0:13:33.340 --> 0:13:34.219 For 0:13:34.229 --> 0:13:38.059 example, he's a better cook. He is a better driver. 0:13:38.250 --> 0:13:41.890 He is better with his emotions and how he deals 0:13:41.900 --> 0:13:43.218 with his time and finances. 0:13:43.229 --> 0:13:43.929 I'm usually a 0:13:43.940 --> 0:13:49.159 bit not skeptical, but I think that people in the 0:13:49.349 --> 0:13:54.320 early to mid twenties, your prefrontal cortex, we speak about 0:13:54.450 --> 0:13:57.190 all the time has not fully developed at that point. 0:13:57.200 --> 0:14:00.319 The problem is you think you're an adult, but actually 0:14:00.330 --> 0:14:03.179 you would learn a lot later on that you don't 0:14:03.190 --> 0:14:06.228 know shit. So has that ever come up? Like, do 0:14:06.239 --> 0:14:08.760 you feel like because I feel like there's nothing wrong 0:14:08.770 --> 0:14:09.699 with the person I just feel at 0:14:09.710 --> 0:14:10.270 that age 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.039 a lot of people are struggling with who they are. 0:14:12.049 --> 0:14:14.169 They're searching for a lot of things. They haven't lived. 0:14:14.260 --> 0:14:15.419 Yeah. Enough. 0:14:15.429 --> 0:14:16.549 Right. I mean, we have 0:14:16.659 --> 0:14:18.799 lived enough to be honest. That's true. 0:14:18.809 --> 0:14:21.979 Do you see that? Maybe in my case, not so 0:14:21.989 --> 0:14:25.299 much because after he got his diploma he decided that 0:14:25.309 --> 0:14:27.679 he doesn't want to go to uni route, stuff like that, 0:14:27.690 --> 0:14:30.359 he came out and started working. So he has had 0:14:30.369 --> 0:14:33.599 years of experience in society. And I think that really, 0:14:33.609 --> 0:14:37.169 really plays a big, big part. So not so much 0:14:37.179 --> 0:14:39.799 for that. There was one time he had this like 0:14:39.809 --> 0:14:42.630 deep conversation with me about how he feels a bit 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:43.880 pressurized to be 0:14:44.369 --> 0:14:46.849 older in terms of his mentality in order to match 0:14:46.859 --> 0:14:48.549 up to me to which I saw that as an 0:14:48.559 --> 0:14:49.429 issue in our 0:14:50.349 --> 0:14:53.450 like our relationship because I told him I didn't want 0:14:53.460 --> 0:14:56.539 you to be stressed about being as mature as I 0:14:56.549 --> 0:14:59.200 am because the fact is we are six years apart. 0:14:59.210 --> 0:15:01.450 So you just be you. But he feels like he 0:15:01.460 --> 0:15:03.479 wants to work harder for the relationship. 0:15:04.270 --> 0:15:06.330 So I appreciate him for that. Actually, 0:15:06.340 --> 0:15:08.719 I love that. I think it could work out very 0:15:08.729 --> 0:15:12.489 well depending on the person and the person's mindset how 0:15:12.500 --> 0:15:14.869 they grew up. The environment they're in is not really 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:18.469 about the age, right? Because they are good experiences. There's 0:15:18.479 --> 0:15:21.929 this one lady on Reddit who always dated older like 0:15:21.940 --> 0:15:25.289 ha and then dated someone younger who's like nine years 0:15:25.299 --> 0:15:28.789 younger than her. She was 36 and she's 27 and 0:15:28.799 --> 0:15:29.289 she says 0:15:29.599 --> 0:15:33.559 nine months going strong, he's so supportive. He's so caring. Sometimes. 0:15:33.570 --> 0:15:36.140 It's like they always say, right when it's like a 0:15:36.150 --> 0:15:38.640 younger guy, right, they try even harder for the girl 0:15:38.650 --> 0:15:39.460 because it's like, 0:15:40.169 --> 0:15:40.559 that is 0:15:40.570 --> 0:15:41.179 so true. 0:15:41.190 --> 0:15:41.590 I have a 0:15:41.599 --> 0:15:45.760 friend who is married to someone who is also six 0:15:45.770 --> 0:15:49.909 years younger than her. Ok. So one is early thirties, 0:15:49.919 --> 0:15:53.580 one is late thirties and I think it's fine. I 0:15:53.590 --> 0:15:54.890 look at them and I think 0:15:55.349 --> 0:15:58.200 they've got it worked out. You know, there's this other story, 0:15:58.210 --> 0:16:02.000 a 38 year old woman, she tried dating younger, a 0:16:02.179 --> 0:16:07.770 26 year old man. So that's about 1012 years and 0:16:07.820 --> 0:16:13.049 she recently ended the relationship. She says that her experience 0:16:13.059 --> 0:16:15.969 with dating younger men, they in their late twenties are 0:16:15.979 --> 0:16:17.130 going through a lot of shit. 0:16:17.469 --> 0:16:21.969 They are like alcoholics, some of them are abusive. They're 0:16:21.979 --> 0:16:25.289 going through a lot of unresolved trauma. But I feel 0:16:25.299 --> 0:16:28.020 like that's more of a person thing than the age thing. 0:16:28.030 --> 0:16:31.289 I agree. Alcoholism can affect you at any age, right? 0:16:31.820 --> 0:16:34.380 This is not a PSA, but I'm just saying it 0:16:34.390 --> 0:16:36.890 could affect you at any age for me. Right? What's 0:16:36.900 --> 0:16:40.919 more important than the age is that you've 0:16:41.719 --> 0:16:45.349 been through stuff? I think that we grows a person 0:16:45.359 --> 0:16:47.510 and that shapes a person. It doesn't matter what age 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:51.309 it is like someone could very well, be 40 be 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.090 extremely sheltered and have not seen anything. You know what 0:16:54.099 --> 0:16:58.059 I mean? You gotta go through stuff and work on yourself, correct, 0:16:58.070 --> 0:16:58.469 through that 0:16:58.479 --> 0:16:59.010 stuff. 0:16:59.020 --> 0:17:02.119 I've had a girlfriend, she used to date someone nine 0:17:02.130 --> 0:17:04.010 years younger than her and she told me if she 0:17:04.020 --> 0:17:07.400 could turn time back, she would reverse everything she's done 0:17:07.410 --> 0:17:10.650 because that was the worst decision of her life. She 0:17:10.660 --> 0:17:11.359 just felt like 0:17:11.810 --> 0:17:14.979 that man was not mature enough and he was very 0:17:14.989 --> 0:17:18.619 selfish in a sense, constantly thinking about himself. It was 0:17:18.630 --> 0:17:21.619 not a give and take relationship. It was a one 0:17:21.630 --> 0:17:21.819 way 0:17:21.829 --> 0:17:22.229 street. 0:17:22.239 --> 0:17:24.469 Do you think it's a person thing rather than? Definitely. 0:17:24.719 --> 0:17:26.869 And I feel like the man definitely has not seen 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:29.770