1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:00,560 Speaker 1: Hi Seo. 2 00:00:00,568 --> 00:00:00,809 Speaker 2: Hey 3 00:00:00,949 --> 00:00:01,039 Speaker 1: Cesar 4 00:00:01,279 --> 00:00:01,909 Speaker 2: and I'm Jermaine 5 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:03,970 Speaker 1: and welcome back to another episode of Cla 6 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 2: Hush. 7 00:00:07,019 --> 00:00:07,539 Speaker 2: You can't 8 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: tell our 9 00:00:08,079 --> 00:00:12,369 Speaker 1: outfit go with the theme of the episode today because 10 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: we are sitting, come over to youtube to see us. Ok. 11 00:00:15,159 --> 00:00:17,610 Speaker 1: But if you are on podcast Drive safe and then 12 00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:20,069 Speaker 1: like watch us later. Ok, Jimmy, you want to describe 13 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:20,170 Speaker 1: your 14 00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:20,790 Speaker 1: outfit? 15 00:00:20,799 --> 00:00:24,059 Speaker 2: So today we are talking about love across generations. Ok. 16 00:00:24,069 --> 00:00:24,459 Speaker 2: I don't know why 17 00:00:24,545 --> 00:00:27,754 Speaker 2: it's so dramatic. We're basically talking about dating people who 18 00:00:27,764 --> 00:00:30,145 Speaker 2: are much older and much younger than you. So we 19 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,223 Speaker 2: decided to come in like boyfriend vibes. So I'm wearing 20 00:00:33,235 --> 00:00:37,223 Speaker 2: my boyfriend's t shirt. I'm wearing oversized T or like, 21 00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:41,915 Speaker 1: yeah. And this is a men's collection, 22 00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:46,860 Speaker 1: Braven collab with a for arcade. And he sent me 23 00:00:46,869 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: a set and I thought, wow, how timely, 24 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,150 Speaker 2: very cute 25 00:00:50,229 --> 00:00:51,900 Speaker 1: and it's very oversized as well. 26 00:00:51,909 --> 00:00:52,330 Speaker 2: This 27 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:55,180 Speaker 2: is the age old question. How age old? Because does 28 00:00:55,209 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: age matter in a relationship? Yes or no? 123, yes. Ok. 29 00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:05,919 Speaker 2: I think the age difference doesn't matter. I think the 30 00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:07,268 Speaker 2: age matters. 31 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:11,500 Speaker 2: So like the number of years doesn't matter. But what 32 00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 2: age you are when you're in that relationship matters. Correct. So, 33 00:01:14,489 --> 00:01:18,779 Speaker 2: you're 29 this year and just 41. Yes. Correct. 12 34 00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:21,309 Speaker 2: years difference. That's correct. If you were 18 and he 35 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:21,910 Speaker 2: was 30 36 00:01:23,019 --> 00:01:23,470 Speaker 1: see, 37 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,470 Speaker 2: you know, I mean, that makes sense. Ok. 38 00:01:26,489 --> 00:01:30,128 Speaker 1: I think the number does not matter, but your mind 39 00:01:30,139 --> 00:01:33,300 Speaker 1: set and your mental at that age matters. So let 40 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:37,389 Speaker 1: at 18 and he's 30. But if you're both, your 41 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: mindsets are aligned, why not? I've mentioned this a harsh 42 00:01:40,089 --> 00:01:43,379 Speaker 1: podcast before. I have a friend who was 22 when 43 00:01:43,389 --> 00:01:47,029 Speaker 1: she met her boyfriend, five years younger than her. So 44 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: the boy was 1617, something about that. They met each 45 00:01:51,169 --> 00:01:54,169 Speaker 1: other when they were working part time at this movie place. 46 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,220 Speaker 1: This cinema so sweet. Now they're almost getting married, they're 47 00:01:57,230 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: getting married in a few months 48 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: time. Like how incredible is that she's my age now. 49 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: So they've been together for solid like 78 years 50 00:02:04,129 --> 00:02:04,860 Speaker 2: mindset 51 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 2: matters. That's why I actually agree with the both of you. 52 00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:11,149 Speaker 2: But I think age matters in the sense that Azura 53 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,149 Speaker 2: said it the age you are when you go into 54 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,309 Speaker 2: the relationship. So obviously I have a 12 year age gap, 55 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,508 Speaker 2: but I'm much older now. I was 28 when I 56 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,460 Speaker 2: got into this relationship, right? I have a best friend. She, 57 00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: when she was, 58 00:02:24,429 --> 00:02:28,470 Speaker 2: when she was 18, she was dating someone 18 years 59 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:32,418 Speaker 2: older than her. So she was 36 and this is 60 00:02:32,429 --> 00:02:34,490 Speaker 2: where mindset comes in. He was at a very different 61 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:38,100 Speaker 2: stage of his life. She had just graduated from Polly. 62 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:41,470 Speaker 2: He wanted to marry her and have babies with her 63 00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:43,429 Speaker 2: and she was like, bro. Yeah, 64 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 2: I just got my diploma, like, calm down, right. The mindset. 65 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,449 Speaker 2: The age everything was wrong. But 66 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,970 Speaker 1: actually some women prefer that after graduation, they want to 67 00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:55,788 Speaker 1: settle down. Start a family. That's true. 68 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 2: But I think she was more career oriented and ambitious. 69 00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:01,428 Speaker 2: It was not for her at that stage in her life. Yeah. 70 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 1: So 71 00:03:01,929 --> 00:03:04,549 Speaker 1: share with us about your relationship journey. When you just 72 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,350 Speaker 1: told your family and your friends, you're dating someone 12 73 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: years older than you. What were your reactions? 74 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:09,779 Speaker 2: Like one 75 00:03:09,788 --> 00:03:10,839 Speaker 2: of my younger friends 76 00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:15,095 Speaker 2: when she, she's much younger. Her starts with t see 77 00:03:15,106 --> 00:03:17,856 Speaker 2: how young she is when she first met him. She 78 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,725 Speaker 2: referred to him in our private conversations as uncle, as uncle. Oh, 79 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:26,576 Speaker 2: I guess it so yikes, right. The guy. But she's 80 00:03:26,585 --> 00:03:28,606 Speaker 2: much younger than me. To be fair. I never told 81 00:03:28,615 --> 00:03:31,954 Speaker 2: him that. Don't listen to this anyways. My older friends, 82 00:03:31,966 --> 00:03:33,966 Speaker 2: like you guys, I don't really think you guys. What, 83 00:03:33,975 --> 00:03:36,166 Speaker 2: what do you guys know? We have, we first heard 84 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:36,555 Speaker 1: about it. 85 00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:38,016 Speaker 2: Yeah. Didn't matter to us. 86 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,201 Speaker 2: Didn't matter. All. Of course 87 00:03:40,212 --> 00:03:42,052 Speaker 1: not if it makes you happy. That's the most 88 00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:42,501 Speaker 1: important thing. 89 00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:44,832 Speaker 2: See, I think a lot of my friends felt that 90 00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:49,442 Speaker 2: way with my parents. I think before you told them? 91 00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:53,472 Speaker 2: What were your expectations going into it? Did you ever think? Like, wow, 92 00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:56,011 Speaker 2: they're gonna say something about the age. I was very 93 00:03:56,022 --> 00:03:58,332 Speaker 2: nervous to tell them because I felt like they would say, oh, 94 00:03:58,341 --> 00:04:00,712 Speaker 2: this guy is too old for you. Like, why such 95 00:04:00,722 --> 00:04:02,522 Speaker 2: a big age gap? Because in the past I only 96 00:04:02,531 --> 00:04:05,151 Speaker 2: dated like, maybe two years my senior and stuff like that. 97 00:04:05,619 --> 00:04:07,990 Speaker 2: So I was very, very nervous about that. But I 98 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 2: think when I told my parents what mattered more to 99 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,460 Speaker 2: my dad, he totally, like he had 12 years. Right. 100 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:16,368 Speaker 2: He didn't even, like, it wasn't even an issue for him. 101 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,769 Speaker 2: He wanted to know what does this guy do? Has 102 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,170 Speaker 2: this guy made a life for himself? Can this guy 103 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,260 Speaker 2: take care of my daughter? Right. Not that my daughter 104 00:04:23,269 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 2: needs taking care of, but it's that father, daughter kind 105 00:04:25,928 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 2: of worry. That was where his mind went to straight 106 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:31,750 Speaker 2: away and I didn't actually have that much worry about. 107 00:04:31,859 --> 00:04:34,329 Speaker 2: But I do think that my 108 00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:38,665 Speaker 2: relatives do talk about it not to my face, but 109 00:04:38,674 --> 00:04:39,625 Speaker 2: I do think they talk about 110 00:04:40,394 --> 00:04:43,095 Speaker 1: time gossip when they need some things to chat about. 111 00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:43,974 Speaker 1: That kind of thing. 112 00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:47,494 Speaker 2: She's dating, like, you know, someone who's 12 years old. 113 00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:49,815 Speaker 1: These are pretty much harmless conversations. 114 00:04:49,825 --> 00:04:50,493 Speaker 2: It's harmless, 115 00:04:50,505 --> 00:04:53,225 Speaker 2: it's harmless. But being 12 years older, one of the 116 00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:55,885 Speaker 2: challenges is that he is at a different stage of 117 00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:58,875 Speaker 2: his life. Thankfully for me, I think his industry keeps 118 00:04:58,885 --> 00:05:01,174 Speaker 2: him young. So he does listen to the same music 119 00:05:01,184 --> 00:05:03,214 Speaker 2: that I do. Yeah. Sometimes he kicks in a bit. 120 00:05:03,309 --> 00:05:07,609 Speaker 2: Celine Dion. I'm like, ok, just, just listen. But my 121 00:05:07,619 --> 00:05:11,419 Speaker 2: dad's concern is because he is older, settling down and 122 00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:14,769 Speaker 2: starting a family that has to be pretty soon. Right. 123 00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 2: Because you don't want to be like a 60 year 124 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:21,238 Speaker 2: old dad. That's your dad's concern. But for him, is 125 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,649 Speaker 2: that a concern? Does he ever feel like he needs 126 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,179 Speaker 2: to move a little bit quicker because he's at that 127 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:28,969 Speaker 2: age already or he doesn't mind before we started dating, 128 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,690 Speaker 2: he had come to terms with the fact that he 129 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,029 Speaker 2: may never have a family 130 00:05:32,195 --> 00:05:33,844 Speaker 2: because he didn't want to start a family with the 131 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:37,125 Speaker 2: wrong person. Right? And he, he, he came to terms 132 00:05:37,135 --> 00:05:39,404 Speaker 2: with the fact he may never have Children, but now 133 00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:45,325 Speaker 2: that we're seriously dating, definitely future planning is in the works, right? 134 00:05:45,334 --> 00:05:46,924 Speaker 2: But we're not trying to put a timeline on it. 135 00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:49,363 Speaker 2: It happens when it happens. But then again, you don't 136 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:51,174 Speaker 2: want to be a 50 year old that running after 137 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,744 Speaker 2: a three year old toddler. So 138 00:05:52,755 --> 00:05:53,075 Speaker 1: if he 139 00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:54,144 Speaker 1: proposes this year, would 140 00:05:54,255 --> 00:05:54,385 Speaker 2: you say 141 00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:57,144 Speaker 2: you 142 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:57,434 Speaker 2: say 143 00:05:57,674 --> 00:05:57,703 Speaker 1: yes. 144 00:05:58,744 --> 00:06:00,904 Speaker 2: So anyways moving on. 145 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:04,869 Speaker 1: Ok. Ok. Seriously, what are some of the benefits of 146 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,229 Speaker 1: dating older men? There's gotta be some like perks in there. 147 00:06:07,238 --> 00:06:13,230 Speaker 2: Definitely. I mean, he's got his shit figured out, ok. Right. Financially, emotionally, 148 00:06:13,238 --> 00:06:16,299 Speaker 2: past traumas, everything's been figured out and he's done a 149 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,339 Speaker 2: lot of work on himself. I'm not saying every 40 150 00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:20,470 Speaker 2: year old has their shit figured out, 151 00:06:20,665 --> 00:06:23,613 Speaker 2: but he in particular did a lot of that in 152 00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,015 Speaker 2: the years leading up to us meeting each other. So 153 00:06:26,024 --> 00:06:28,375 Speaker 2: thankfully for that, and he's actually very good at giving 154 00:06:28,385 --> 00:06:30,825 Speaker 2: advice because a lot of things that I experienced at 155 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,804 Speaker 2: work on my personal life he has been through in 156 00:06:33,815 --> 00:06:36,475 Speaker 2: one way or another. So, and I really trust his 157 00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:38,475 Speaker 2: advice and 158 00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:42,058 Speaker 2: I think that comes, it's like wisdom with age. Like 159 00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:44,420 Speaker 2: us giving advice to a 19 year old is the 160 00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:46,099 Speaker 2: same kind of advice for 161 00:06:46,109 --> 00:06:46,299 Speaker 2: me. 162 00:06:46,309 --> 00:06:50,339 Speaker 1: Really? I do, I actually give really good advice. Actually, 163 00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:53,170 Speaker 2: I think the people that give good advice, usually their 164 00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:54,428 Speaker 2: life a bit messy. 165 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,190 Speaker 1: Correct. 166 00:06:56,488 --> 00:06:58,130 Speaker 2: No, but I got to. Right. I just want to 167 00:06:58,140 --> 00:07:00,618 Speaker 2: say that it's really true when they say you grow 168 00:07:00,649 --> 00:07:04,750 Speaker 2: old is mandatory, but like growing up is optional. True. 169 00:07:05,029 --> 00:07:06,458 Speaker 2: Have you girls ever dated someone else 170 00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 2: older than you 171 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:09,500 Speaker 1: all my life? I've dated older man. How 172 00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:10,619 Speaker 2: much was the oldest 173 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,399 Speaker 1: five years older than me? 174 00:07:12,619 --> 00:07:13,679 Speaker 2: How was that? 175 00:07:13,690 --> 00:07:16,209 Speaker 1: That was good. Like he was, he was mature, he 176 00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: was stable and he made me feel very emotionally secure 177 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:23,290 Speaker 1: and like what you mentioned, financially stable and has everything 178 00:07:23,299 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: figured out. Basically, he knows what he wants and our 179 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: timeline is all planned out, but unfortunately, that didn't work out. 180 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:30,589 Speaker 1: So 181 00:07:30,989 --> 00:07:32,929 Speaker 1: I hope he's in a better place now. But there 182 00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:36,619 Speaker 1: was a very, very loving relationship. I would say. What 183 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,089 Speaker 1: about you? 184 00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 2: 1010 years, 10 185 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:40,829 Speaker 1: years older than you? 186 00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:44,119 Speaker 2: 10, how was that? I did not think the age 187 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,989 Speaker 2: was a problem. Yeah. In fact, all the problems we 188 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,779 Speaker 2: had were nothing age related. 189 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:49,980 Speaker 1: Nice. Neither was 190 00:07:49,989 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 2: it like a different place in life related? 191 00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: So, this is like a younger girl, older guy, kind 192 00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:58,609 Speaker 1: of story, right? I have this story from online. 193 00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:01,790 Speaker 1: The girlfriend is the older one and the boyfriend is 194 00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:02,970 Speaker 1: the younger one. Do you 195 00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 2: think when the woman is the older one, people tend 196 00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:10,070 Speaker 2: to like a bit, it's less common, right? But either 197 00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:13,329 Speaker 2: way invites comments. So I think, but, but this girl, 198 00:08:13,339 --> 00:08:16,869 Speaker 2: I mean that he is talking about is 19 years 199 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: older than the boyfriend that is quite a significant age 200 00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:20,239 Speaker 2: gap, 201 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,019 Speaker 1: correct? And this story is from the boyfriend's point of view. 202 00:08:23,239 --> 00:08:25,820 Speaker 1: He says my girlfriend was 19 years older than me 203 00:08:25,829 --> 00:08:27,859 Speaker 1: and we were together for over a decade 204 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,910 Speaker 1: when we met, I was 30 she was 49 with 205 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: two teenage daughters from previous marriages. Despite my commitment and 206 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,859 Speaker 1: love for her and her kids, she still couldn't get 207 00:08:36,869 --> 00:08:39,968 Speaker 1: past the age difference and was constantly worried I might 208 00:08:39,979 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: leave her for a younger woman or one Children because 209 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,799 Speaker 1: that might be not possible for the girl. She's already 210 00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:48,348 Speaker 1: 49 right? The guy says we broke up five years 211 00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:50,729 Speaker 1: ago and I still miss her and haven't been interested 212 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,340 Speaker 1: in meeting anyone new since 213 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:57,539 Speaker 2: I think it's very tough being a woman at that age. 214 00:08:57,659 --> 00:09:00,098 Speaker 2: You tend to have a lot of insecurities and it's 215 00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:02,330 Speaker 2: very normal as well. Right. You always think like, there's 216 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,299 Speaker 2: so many young, like, pretty women out there, like he 217 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:06,348 Speaker 2: could just go off any one of them. But sometimes 218 00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:08,419 Speaker 2: it's about love and this is where you get in 219 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:11,020 Speaker 2: your own way, but you are your own worst enemy. 220 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 2: There are a lot of situations where it doesn't work 221 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: out and this is where mindset comes in. So this 222 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:16,770 Speaker 2: is actually a 223 00:09:16,854 --> 00:09:20,755 Speaker 2: PD story. She says I dated a man 11 years. 224 00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:24,674 Speaker 2: My senior, I was 24 he was 35. We're both 225 00:09:24,684 --> 00:09:28,244 Speaker 2: Singaporeans who matched on an app while I was in 226 00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:30,674 Speaker 2: transit in the country that he was working in. So 227 00:09:30,684 --> 00:09:33,304 Speaker 2: whenever we met in Singapore, we went on a couple 228 00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:37,575 Speaker 2: of dates, we like each other, but we had some 229 00:09:37,585 --> 00:09:40,594 Speaker 2: things that we just couldn't really work out some differences, right? 230 00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:44,359 Speaker 2: The age gap was quite obvious he had an established career. 231 00:09:44,369 --> 00:09:47,119 Speaker 2: I just started my career. He drove a nice car. 232 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:50,309 Speaker 2: I travel on public transport. His favorite hangout was like 233 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,979 Speaker 2: a fancy swan, like bar in the CBD area. And 234 00:09:53,989 --> 00:09:56,229 Speaker 2: I like going to like, you know, I don't know, 235 00:09:56,299 --> 00:09:58,599 Speaker 2: this days are but place what is this? But 236 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,270 Speaker 2: like the 237 00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:02,179 Speaker 2: AC 238 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:06,780 Speaker 2: on B street, OK. Very specific. He talked about finance 239 00:10:06,789 --> 00:10:10,289 Speaker 2: and investing, but I hustled like crazy for money and 240 00:10:10,299 --> 00:10:12,179 Speaker 2: all I could think about was saving money for my 241 00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:16,150 Speaker 2: next backpacking trip. Very different places in life. And I 242 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 2: think that's what happens when you're in your mid twenties 243 00:10:18,849 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 2: and they're in their mid thirties. But it also really 244 00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:24,369 Speaker 2: depends on the person. Yeah, like Andrew talks about investing 245 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:27,059 Speaker 2: all the time. Was the news like, you know, 246 00:10:28,309 --> 00:10:29,299 Speaker 2: is it boring 247 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:29,659 Speaker 2: you? 248 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:32,630 Speaker 1: But do you actually like take his advice? Did I 249 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,549 Speaker 1: actually help you about what all is sharing about investments 250 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:36,260 Speaker 1: and stuff like that? 251 00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,700 Speaker 2: No, I like hearing about world news because I don't 252 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,500 Speaker 2: like reading about it. So he is like my newspaper 253 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,750 Speaker 2: but he tells me to my face. So in a 254 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,140 Speaker 2: way I'm learning. 255 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,809 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm learning about the world insightful conversations. Yeah, I mean, 256 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:52,549 Speaker 2: obviously we have very different interests. Like there are certain 257 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,559 Speaker 2: songs that he listens to that I've never heard of 258 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,710 Speaker 2: in my life kind of thing. It's normal. There was 259 00:10:57,719 --> 00:11:01,119 Speaker 2: once we went karaoke and I cute, like a old song, 260 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,130 Speaker 2: like from the eighties. And I said this off for 261 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 2: my eighties friends 262 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,989 Speaker 2: know I was shocked he didn't know the song. That song. 263 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,619 Speaker 2: What's all that? I can't remember? Mark Anthony, I think, 264 00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:15,939 Speaker 2: I also don't know. So that's when a female dates 265 00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,539 Speaker 2: someone that's older, right? 266 00:11:18,239 --> 00:11:21,390 Speaker 2: But like we said, the less common is when a 267 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 2: female date someone younger than you. I don't know about 268 00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,989 Speaker 2: you guys. I've never dated anyone younger than me. 269 00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:29,710 Speaker 1: So this is the funny thing all my life I 270 00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:33,489 Speaker 1: thought I would only date older men, right? Men who 271 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: are more mature, same age. Ok. Ok. You know how 272 00:11:36,849 --> 00:11:39,799 Speaker 1: they say like girls in terms of age faster. Yeah, 273 00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:42,260 Speaker 1: two years more mature than guys of your own age. Mental, 274 00:11:42,719 --> 00:11:45,340 Speaker 1: mental maturity. That's right. So all my life I, I 275 00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: knew I needed someone mature. So I've always been looking 276 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: for men older than me, right? But I have had 277 00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:53,349 Speaker 1: experiences dating someone younger than me and there's not like 278 00:11:53,359 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: 12 years younger but six years younger. Yeah. And that 279 00:11:58,289 --> 00:12:02,579 Speaker 1: turned out so well, really, really, I'm very surprised myself. 280 00:12:02,739 --> 00:12:05,770 Speaker 1: He turned out to be a very mature person. He's 281 00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:06,530 Speaker 1: I think to start with 282 00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: and when I finally told my parents about it, I 283 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 1: was also nervous that what you mentioned just now my 284 00:12:14,849 --> 00:12:17,340 Speaker 1: dad was very hesitant like he couldn't get over the 285 00:12:17,349 --> 00:12:22,010 Speaker 1: fact that this person born in the year 2000 cannot 286 00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:23,989 Speaker 1: not because he's not so common, 287 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 2: right? 288 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,630 Speaker 1: The father, daughter kind of worried about it. 289 00:12:25,659 --> 00:12:26,590 Speaker 2: Sorry, what's your 290 00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:28,189 Speaker 2: parents age difference? 291 00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:32,176 Speaker 1: Four years. My dad is older than my mom by 292 00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:35,245 Speaker 1: four years. Ok. So naturally he will be worried for me, 293 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,356 Speaker 1: especially my dad sees that I'm very independent. He feels 294 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:41,276 Speaker 1: like I need someone older than me. But this person 295 00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:44,346 Speaker 1: that who is six years younger than me he takes 296 00:12:44,356 --> 00:12:46,875 Speaker 1: care of me in ways that I never expected a 297 00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:50,915 Speaker 1: 24 year old could or what? Ok. And he gives 298 00:12:50,926 --> 00:12:51,065 Speaker 1: to 299 00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:55,801 Speaker 1: a lot in the healthy way and he gives me 300 00:12:55,812 --> 00:12:59,052 Speaker 1: very sound advice as well. And I realize this is 301 00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:03,062 Speaker 1: something I really need in a partner, sound advice. Someone 302 00:13:03,072 --> 00:13:08,291 Speaker 1: who is disciplined, also looking to achieve the next milestone 303 00:13:08,302 --> 00:13:09,410 Speaker 1: in his life. 304 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:12,262 Speaker 2: They always say younger men are more immature Like, 305 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:13,539 Speaker 2: is that true? 306 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:16,130 Speaker 1: Well, there are instances where I still see the little 307 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 1: boy in him where maybe we play a game and 308 00:13:18,849 --> 00:13:20,890 Speaker 1: I lose and he ha ha loser 309 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,030 Speaker 1: don't make it. I'm like, oh, that's quite boyish. But 310 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,118 Speaker 1: other than that, I feel like I'm the girl in 311 00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:30,979 Speaker 1: the relationship. Like I'm the younger one in the ways 312 00:13:30,989 --> 00:13:33,179 Speaker 2: that count, he is mature. 313 00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,219 Speaker 1: For 314 00:13:34,229 --> 00:13:38,059 Speaker 1: example, he's a better cook. He is a better driver. 315 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,890 Speaker 1: He is better with his emotions and how he deals 316 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,218 Speaker 1: with his time and finances. 317 00:13:43,229 --> 00:13:43,929 Speaker 2: I'm usually a 318 00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:49,159 Speaker 2: bit not skeptical, but I think that people in the 319 00:13:49,349 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 2: early to mid twenties, your prefrontal cortex, we speak about 320 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,190 Speaker 2: all the time has not fully developed at that point. 321 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,319 Speaker 2: The problem is you think you're an adult, but actually 322 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:03,179 Speaker 2: you would learn a lot later on that you don't 323 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:06,228 Speaker 2: know shit. So has that ever come up? Like, do 324 00:14:06,239 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 2: you feel like because I feel like there's nothing wrong 325 00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:09,699 Speaker 2: with the person I just feel at 326 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:10,270 Speaker 1: that age 327 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,039 Speaker 2: a lot of people are struggling with who they are. 328 00:14:12,049 --> 00:14:14,169 Speaker 2: They're searching for a lot of things. They haven't lived. 329 00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:15,419 Speaker 1: Yeah. Enough. 330 00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:16,549 Speaker 2: Right. I mean, we have 331 00:14:16,659 --> 00:14:18,799 Speaker 2: lived enough to be honest. That's true. 332 00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:21,979 Speaker 1: Do you see that? Maybe in my case, not so 333 00:14:21,989 --> 00:14:25,299 Speaker 1: much because after he got his diploma he decided that 334 00:14:25,309 --> 00:14:27,679 Speaker 1: he doesn't want to go to uni route, stuff like that, 335 00:14:27,690 --> 00:14:30,359 Speaker 1: he came out and started working. So he has had 336 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,599 Speaker 1: years of experience in society. And I think that really, 337 00:14:33,609 --> 00:14:37,169 Speaker 1: really plays a big, big part. So not so much 338 00:14:37,179 --> 00:14:39,799 Speaker 1: for that. There was one time he had this like 339 00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:42,630 Speaker 1: deep conversation with me about how he feels a bit 340 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: pressurized to be 341 00:14:44,369 --> 00:14:46,849 Speaker 1: older in terms of his mentality in order to match 342 00:14:46,859 --> 00:14:48,549 Speaker 1: up to me to which I saw that as an 343 00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:49,429 Speaker 1: issue in our 344 00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:53,450 Speaker 1: like our relationship because I told him I didn't want 345 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,539 Speaker 1: you to be stressed about being as mature as I 346 00:14:56,549 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: am because the fact is we are six years apart. 347 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:01,450 Speaker 1: So you just be you. But he feels like he 348 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,479 Speaker 1: wants to work harder for the relationship. 349 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,330 Speaker 1: So I appreciate him for that. Actually, 350 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,719 Speaker 2: I love that. I think it could work out very 351 00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:12,489 Speaker 2: well depending on the person and the person's mindset how 352 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,869 Speaker 2: they grew up. The environment they're in is not really 353 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,469 Speaker 2: about the age, right? Because they are good experiences. There's 354 00:15:18,479 --> 00:15:21,929 Speaker 2: this one lady on Reddit who always dated older like 355 00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:25,289 Speaker 2: ha and then dated someone younger who's like nine years 356 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,789 Speaker 2: younger than her. She was 36 and she's 27 and 357 00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:29,289 Speaker 2: she says 358 00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:33,559 Speaker 2: nine months going strong, he's so supportive. He's so caring. Sometimes. 359 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,140 Speaker 2: It's like they always say, right when it's like a 360 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 2: younger guy, right, they try even harder for the girl 361 00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:39,460 Speaker 2: because it's like, 362 00:15:40,169 --> 00:15:40,559 Speaker 1: that is 363 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:41,179 Speaker 1: so true. 364 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:41,590 Speaker 2: I have a 365 00:15:41,599 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 2: friend who is married to someone who is also six 366 00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:49,909 Speaker 2: years younger than her. Ok. So one is early thirties, 367 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:53,580 Speaker 2: one is late thirties and I think it's fine. I 368 00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:54,890 Speaker 2: look at them and I think 369 00:15:55,349 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 2: they've got it worked out. You know, there's this other story, 370 00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 2: a 38 year old woman, she tried dating younger, a 371 00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:07,770 Speaker 2: 26 year old man. So that's about 1012 years and 372 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:13,049 Speaker 2: she recently ended the relationship. She says that her experience 373 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,969 Speaker 2: with dating younger men, they in their late twenties are 374 00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,130 Speaker 2: going through a lot of shit. 375 00:16:17,469 --> 00:16:21,969 Speaker 2: They are like alcoholics, some of them are abusive. They're 376 00:16:21,979 --> 00:16:25,289 Speaker 2: going through a lot of unresolved trauma. But I feel 377 00:16:25,299 --> 00:16:28,020 Speaker 2: like that's more of a person thing than the age thing. 378 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:31,289 Speaker 2: I agree. Alcoholism can affect you at any age, right? 379 00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:34,380 Speaker 2: This is not a PSA, but I'm just saying it 380 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:36,890 Speaker 2: could affect you at any age for me. Right? What's 381 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:40,919 Speaker 2: more important than the age is that you've 382 00:16:41,719 --> 00:16:45,349 Speaker 2: been through stuff? I think that we grows a person 383 00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:47,510 Speaker 2: and that shapes a person. It doesn't matter what age 384 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,309 Speaker 2: it is like someone could very well, be 40 be 385 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,090 Speaker 2: extremely sheltered and have not seen anything. You know what 386 00:16:54,099 --> 00:16:58,059 Speaker 2: I mean? You gotta go through stuff and work on yourself, correct, 387 00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:58,469 Speaker 2: through that 388 00:16:58,479 --> 00:16:59,010 Speaker 2: stuff. 389 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:02,119 Speaker 1: I've had a girlfriend, she used to date someone nine 390 00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:04,010 Speaker 1: years younger than her and she told me if she 391 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 1: could turn time back, she would reverse everything she's done 392 00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:10,650 Speaker 1: because that was the worst decision of her life. She 393 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: just felt like 394 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:14,979 Speaker 1: that man was not mature enough and he was very 395 00:17:14,989 --> 00:17:18,619 Speaker 1: selfish in a sense, constantly thinking about himself. It was 396 00:17:18,630 --> 00:17:21,619 Speaker 1: not a give and take relationship. It was a one 397 00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:21,819 Speaker 1: way 398 00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:22,229 Speaker 1: street. 399 00:17:22,239 --> 00:17:24,469 Speaker 2: Do you think it's a person thing rather than? Definitely. 400 00:17:24,719 --> 00:17:26,869 Speaker 1: And I feel like the man definitely has not seen 401 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,770 Speaker 1: enough of the world, not saying he's a bad person. 402 00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:32,718 Speaker 1: It's just that wrong time, wrong person, wrong place. 403 00:17:32,729 --> 00:17:33,069 Speaker 2: Do you 404 00:17:33,244 --> 00:17:37,073 Speaker 2: girls know any gold diggers? I've heard of some, but 405 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:41,514 Speaker 2: I personally, I find it hard to form a relationship 406 00:17:41,525 --> 00:17:45,514 Speaker 2: with such people. Interesting, why there's nothing wrong with it? 407 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:48,734 Speaker 2: I mean, you do you honestly? Right. But I think 408 00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:52,875 Speaker 2: when you're focused on something like that or when that's 409 00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:54,484 Speaker 2: the first thing you look at, 410 00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:58,020 Speaker 2: you tend to be a little bit more surface on 411 00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,699 Speaker 2: the things that matter more to me. And hence I 412 00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:03,050 Speaker 2: find it hard for us to build a relationship that way. 413 00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:03,589 Speaker 2: What about you 414 00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:07,979 Speaker 1: hazy? Not really, not in my close friends circle, at least. 415 00:18:07,989 --> 00:18:08,689 Speaker 1: What about you? 416 00:18:08,699 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 2: I 417 00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:11,250 Speaker 2: mean, I know of a few. Right? 418 00:18:11,354 --> 00:18:14,224 Speaker 2: And one thing that someone told me right is that 419 00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:17,314 Speaker 2: it is not a crime to want nice things in 420 00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:19,675 Speaker 2: your life. Right? It's not a crime as a girl 421 00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:22,494 Speaker 2: to want someone who is financially stable. Take care of you. 422 00:18:22,505 --> 00:18:25,594 Speaker 2: You don't ever have to lift a finger and work 423 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,454 Speaker 2: in your life. That is not a crime. I think 424 00:18:28,464 --> 00:18:32,994 Speaker 2: the crime here is when you don't treat the guy 425 00:18:33,005 --> 00:18:36,775 Speaker 2: that you're digging gold from in a good and respectful manner, 426 00:18:37,094 --> 00:18:40,074 Speaker 2: if you are a gold digger, but you treat your 427 00:18:40,084 --> 00:18:41,135 Speaker 2: partner like 428 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 2: incredibly well. I don't see what's wrong with that. 429 00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:44,500 Speaker 1: I don't 430 00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: see anything wrong with that honestly, because if the two 431 00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:50,599 Speaker 1: people who are in this transactional relationship are willing and 432 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: they're able to, nobody can say nothing 433 00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:52,829 Speaker 1: else 434 00:18:52,859 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 2: because I was having this conversation with my partner, right? 435 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,790 Speaker 2: And I was saying like you guys can really just 436 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,649 Speaker 2: date just for looks and not for love or whatever. 437 00:19:00,699 --> 00:19:02,728 Speaker 2: And he said I just as girls can do the 438 00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 2: same thing, right? They can just date for money. I 439 00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:08,569 Speaker 2: think guys can just date for looks. They just want 440 00:19:08,579 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 2: a trophy wife, 441 00:19:09,989 --> 00:19:12,349 Speaker 2: but they don't need romantic love. And that's one of 442 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,629 Speaker 2: the biggest stereotypes. It's like younger woman, older men. And then, 443 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,569 Speaker 2: and then the man is very rich and 444 00:19:17,579 --> 00:19:18,020 Speaker 1: it brings me 445 00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:20,510 Speaker 1: to my next point. Have you heard of men who 446 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,899 Speaker 1: are in their midlife? Crisis. They are just trying to 447 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:26,829 Speaker 1: figure themselves out, find their identity by trying to date 448 00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:27,510 Speaker 1: younger women. 449 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:28,829 Speaker 2: Try to stay 450 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:32,030 Speaker 2: down. Yes. Correct. So, like they don't want or something. 451 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Ok. I've heard of this, you know, like this 452 00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 1: is a friend of a friend 453 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:39,069 Speaker 1: and she was in this office where her boss would, like, 454 00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:41,750 Speaker 1: hit on her and the boss is like, 20 something 455 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:46,140 Speaker 1: years older than she. The boss has basically a whole family. 456 00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 1: But why is he doing that? Maybe he's trying to 457 00:19:48,209 --> 00:19:48,900 Speaker 1: stay young at heart. 458 00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:49,140 Speaker 2: Do 459 00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:53,170 Speaker 2: you think it's like validation as well? Like a value 460 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:53,699 Speaker 1: to the young? 461 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:58,310 Speaker 2: I'm still, I'm still relevant in this. Well, I think 462 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,938 Speaker 2: it's just fear of aging. I think that's what it is. 463 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,430 Speaker 2: I think sometimes when you're in a relationship with a 464 00:20:04,439 --> 00:20:05,300 Speaker 2: big age gap, 465 00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 2: it could be that there feels like almost like a 466 00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:12,099 Speaker 2: power imbalance. I think I talked about this before with 467 00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 2: this current partner. Like, there was some financial imbalance, right? 468 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,839 Speaker 2: And I felt some type of way about it because 469 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,310 Speaker 2: it was the first time it ever happened to me 470 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 2: in my life. Right. And that can happen. But I 471 00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:25,140 Speaker 2: think you need to be able to treat each other 472 00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,719 Speaker 2: in a respectful way. Yeah. 473 00:20:26,739 --> 00:20:26,989 Speaker 1: And 474 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:27,790 Speaker 1: I'm sure that's the case for a 475 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,379 Speaker 1: relationship. 476 00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:33,189 Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. With the whole trope of the older women 477 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 2: and younger men, 478 00:20:34,569 --> 00:20:37,589 Speaker 2: I think a lot of people sometimes think that, you know, 479 00:20:37,599 --> 00:20:42,859 Speaker 2: the older woman is kind of like mothering, the younger man, 480 00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:45,909 Speaker 2: like taking care of him like a mother because they 481 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,650 Speaker 2: are older and they're more nurturing in your experience having 482 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:53,750 Speaker 2: dated younger men that whole like mother son, like mothering. No, no. 483 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,020 Speaker 1: In fact, sometimes I feel like it's a father daughter. 484 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,419 Speaker 1: You know, you know what I mean? It's so mature. 485 00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:03,900 Speaker 1: It's a very different dynamics that I cannot explain. And 486 00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:05,270 Speaker 1: sometimes I think is luck, luck 487 00:21:06,719 --> 00:21:09,839 Speaker 2: luck. There are also some situations where younger men date 488 00:21:09,849 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 2: older women or Cougars as they call them. You're not 489 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 2: a Cougar hazel, you're very young. What 490 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: is a cougar in the 491 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 1: forties or fif 492 00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:20,979 Speaker 2: don't know. What do you think Cougar? At least how old? 493 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:25,020 Speaker 2: 56 I think anything, 20 years, age gap and over 494 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:27,660 Speaker 2: is like Cougar. So a lot of younger men 495 00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:32,129 Speaker 2: apparently through movies and stuff like that, date these Cougars 496 00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 2: for like sexual experimentation. It's like a fantasy thing. It's 497 00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:40,189 Speaker 2: like when like when a Cougar sleeps with a virgin 498 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,790 Speaker 2: kind of thing, like teaches him about sex and all 499 00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:47,489 Speaker 2: I'm saying this is in movies. I'm not saying it's 500 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:48,079 Speaker 2: really a movie 501 00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:48,949 Speaker 2: he watching actually. 502 00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:51,380 Speaker 2: Ok. 503 00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:55,430 Speaker 1: But there's some studies found on age gap relationships and 504 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,909 Speaker 1: whether they can work out or not. So this is 505 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,530 Speaker 1: very interesting. A 2014 US study found that the average 506 00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:05,250 Speaker 1: age gap in relationships was 2.3 years. Ok. So she 507 00:22:06,435 --> 00:22:12,094 Speaker 1: plus minus and across Western countries 8% of heterosexual couples 508 00:22:12,104 --> 00:22:15,375 Speaker 1: have an age gap of 10 years or more. These 509 00:22:15,385 --> 00:22:19,244 Speaker 1: generally involve older men with younger women. About 1% of 510 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,885 Speaker 1: age gap couples involve an older women 511 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,469 Speaker 1: with younger men. Oh, interesting. 512 00:22:24,479 --> 00:22:28,389 Speaker 2: I think some research has also pointed to the fact 513 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,979 Speaker 2: that if you are closer in age, it's more likely 514 00:22:31,989 --> 00:22:34,349 Speaker 2: that you will have a long lasting relationship because 515 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: your interest are more alignment, 516 00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:38,718 Speaker 2: correct because you are experiencing life challenges and stages at 517 00:22:38,729 --> 00:22:42,530 Speaker 2: the same time, you're more aligned. However, historically, if you 518 00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:45,030 Speaker 2: are in the middle or upper class, basically like higher 519 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,708 Speaker 2: high says, OK, you are more likely to date with 520 00:22:47,719 --> 00:22:48,390 Speaker 2: a bigger age 521 00:22:48,494 --> 00:22:51,864 Speaker 2: gap. For example, a man with more economic power like 522 00:22:51,964 --> 00:22:55,614 Speaker 2: Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, sure, they are less likely to 523 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,353 Speaker 2: date someone their age. OK. 524 00:22:57,364 --> 00:23:00,774 Speaker 1: Some studies find that the relationship satisfaction reported by age 525 00:23:00,785 --> 00:23:02,704 Speaker 1: gap couples is higher, 526 00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:04,484 Speaker 2: good news 527 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:05,563 Speaker 1: and these couples 528 00:23:05,574 --> 00:23:09,694 Speaker 1: also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower 529 00:23:09,704 --> 00:23:12,635 Speaker 1: jealousy compared to similar age couples 530 00:23:12,645 --> 00:23:16,444 Speaker 2: is a personality problem. The person is me. 531 00:23:17,569 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 2: I'm working on it. You're never a problem. It's not 532 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 2: a problem. Thank you very much, but it's a little setback. 533 00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 2: It's a work in progress. Thank you. Thank you. The 534 00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:26,869 Speaker 1: next point over three quarters of couples where younger women 535 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,429 Speaker 1: are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships. 536 00:23:30,439 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 2: OK? 537 00:23:32,209 --> 00:23:35,589 Speaker 2: OK. I think one of the biggest things that for 538 00:23:35,599 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 2: a lot of these relationships, according to research and statistics 539 00:23:39,099 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 2: is social disapproval. If you believe that people, 540 00:23:43,156 --> 00:23:46,076 Speaker 2: the proof of your relationship, you are bound to break 541 00:23:46,086 --> 00:23:49,576 Speaker 2: up because you are like fighting against yourself. Correct. Once 542 00:23:49,586 --> 00:23:53,275 Speaker 2: you let people's words get to you, opinions and thoughts 543 00:23:53,286 --> 00:23:56,855 Speaker 2: and judgment, get to you like you will, it affects 544 00:23:56,865 --> 00:24:00,735 Speaker 2: your relationship. My question is why are you allowing people 545 00:24:00,744 --> 00:24:03,456 Speaker 2: on the outside? It could affect your relationship. 546 00:24:03,465 --> 00:24:04,215 Speaker 1: It's not common. 547 00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:07,515 Speaker 2: No, I tell you like example, I give hazy an example. 548 00:24:07,526 --> 00:24:08,725 Speaker 2: Let's say your father said 549 00:24:08,811 --> 00:24:11,452 Speaker 2: to you. I don't approve of you dating someone younger 550 00:24:11,462 --> 00:24:13,420 Speaker 2: than you. You break up. I'm going to disown you 551 00:24:13,432 --> 00:24:14,031 Speaker 2: as a daughter. 552 00:24:14,041 --> 00:24:16,052 Speaker 1: I would sit down and speak to him about it 553 00:24:16,061 --> 00:24:18,021 Speaker 1: and I'm very sure he will be won over by 554 00:24:18,031 --> 00:24:21,561 Speaker 1: my words. If not, I would have been a host 555 00:24:21,571 --> 00:24:22,712 Speaker 1: for nothing for seven years. 556 00:24:22,722 --> 00:24:23,541 Speaker 2: Correct. Right. 557 00:24:23,991 --> 00:24:27,120 Speaker 2: I'm saying this is the stuff that really happens in 558 00:24:27,131 --> 00:24:30,932 Speaker 2: the world in basically more serious situations where it's like 559 00:24:30,942 --> 00:24:33,802 Speaker 2: you feel like you're bring back to a corner. Exactly. Yeah. 560 00:24:33,991 --> 00:24:34,391 Speaker 2: So 561 00:24:34,478 --> 00:24:37,378 Speaker 2: anyways, I think when it comes down to it all 562 00:24:37,387 --> 00:24:40,628 Speaker 2: in all the success of a relationship doesn't really have 563 00:24:40,637 --> 00:24:43,258 Speaker 2: to do with age or age gap that does come 564 00:24:43,267 --> 00:24:45,887 Speaker 2: into play. But it's a lot more about your beliefs, 565 00:24:45,897 --> 00:24:48,348 Speaker 2: your values, right? Where you're headed to in life, you 566 00:24:48,358 --> 00:24:51,446 Speaker 2: have the same ambitions. It's more aligned with that. 567 00:24:51,458 --> 00:24:54,307 Speaker 1: I agree. So for now let's play a little game 568 00:24:54,498 --> 00:24:58,057 Speaker 1: our producers have actually prepare some questions for us where 569 00:24:58,067 --> 00:24:59,696 Speaker 1: we have to guess the 570 00:25:00,273 --> 00:25:02,103 Speaker 1: amongst celebrity couples. 571 00:25:02,114 --> 00:25:08,634 Speaker 2: Let's sing, let's sing. First up. We have Blake Lively 572 00:25:08,644 --> 00:25:12,754 Speaker 2: and Ryan Reynolds. Yes. Age gap. I don't actually know this. Yes, 573 00:25:12,904 --> 00:25:16,423 Speaker 2: that's the game. Right. Thanks. I've never thought it was big. 574 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:18,093 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say 12. 575 00:25:18,104 --> 00:25:21,223 Speaker 1: Who's older, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy 576 00:25:21,234 --> 00:25:23,583 Speaker 2: who was big. I just read about it. What's the answer? 577 00:25:28,579 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 2: But I did so fun. But I don't think men 578 00:25:30,810 --> 00:25:33,169 Speaker 2: in Hollywood take care of themselves, like, maybe begging 579 00:25:33,180 --> 00:25:34,270 Speaker 2: people to take care of them 580 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,209 Speaker 1: in this photo. He looks a lot older than Blake. 581 00:25:36,219 --> 00:25:37,030 Speaker 2: Lively. Yeah, it's 582 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:42,139 Speaker 2: just the same my notes. Ok. This is, ah, Priyanka 583 00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,180 Speaker 2: Chopra and Nick Jonas, she's older than 584 00:25:45,189 --> 00:25:45,930 Speaker 2: he is. 585 00:25:45,939 --> 00:25:47,949 Speaker 2: She's a Cougar. 10 years. 586 00:25:48,145 --> 00:25:51,145 Speaker 2: No, I say 20 my God. Really? 587 00:25:51,364 --> 00:25:52,055 Speaker 1: Really? What do you 588 00:25:52,064 --> 00:25:58,155 Speaker 2: say? 8, 10 years? But he looks like a boy. 589 00:25:58,165 --> 00:25:58,935 Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, 590 00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:00,084 Speaker 2: now it's 591 00:26:00,094 --> 00:26:02,895 Speaker 1: the way he takes care of himself. Ok. Moving on. 592 00:26:02,905 --> 00:26:05,834 Speaker 2: Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington 593 00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:09,114 Speaker 1: 16 looks like 25. 594 00:26:09,125 --> 00:26:09,785 Speaker 2: 30 595 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,689 Speaker 2: 20 years. 596 00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:26,459 Speaker 2: Some people like bald man. Ok. Kris Jenner and Corey gamble. 597 00:26:26,469 --> 00:26:27,729 Speaker 2: 30 598 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,569 Speaker 1: 30 years. Like the female is older 599 00:26:30,579 --> 00:26:30,869 Speaker 1: than the. 600 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,369 Speaker 2: Yes. Chris Jenner is the ultimate cougar. You go girl. 601 00:26:34,380 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 2: 20 602 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:35,910 Speaker 2: six. Wow. 603 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,849 Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna guess 24 604 00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 2: 25. 605 00:26:44,609 --> 00:26:46,069 Speaker 2: Ok. Could you ever do hazy? 20 606 00:26:46,079 --> 00:26:49,849 Speaker 1: five years? Five years. I'm 50 let's say I'm 50. 607 00:26:49,930 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 2: She's 29. Now. He be four years old. Yeah. You know, 608 00:26:53,170 --> 00:26:56,379 Speaker 2: like some people who are like 2930 single, maybe they're 609 00:26:56,390 --> 00:26:58,239 Speaker 2: still in kindergarten. Wait, it's ok. 610 00:26:59,189 --> 00:27:00,719 Speaker 1: What the hell? 611 00:27:01,790 --> 00:27:05,729 Speaker 2: Ok. Last one, this one got age gap, Barry Cohen 612 00:27:05,739 --> 00:27:09,199 Speaker 2: and Sabrina Carpenter, I say 54. 613 00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: Ok. So 4567. 614 00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:16,250 Speaker 2: Wait, but who's younger? Ok. So, really, 615 00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:17,719 Speaker 1: so young. She's a T 616 00:27:17,729 --> 00:27:18,109 Speaker 2: OK. Very. 617 00:27:18,449 --> 00:27:19,438 Speaker 2: Yes. Age gap. 618 00:27:20,109 --> 00:27:24,609 Speaker 2: Ok. So we've talked about large age gaps, right? And 619 00:27:24,670 --> 00:27:29,099 Speaker 2: statistically it's proven that smaller or closer age gaps have 620 00:27:29,109 --> 00:27:32,959 Speaker 2: a more successful relationship. Comparing both large and small. I 621 00:27:32,969 --> 00:27:35,969 Speaker 2: think we both have experiences with both. Which do you 622 00:27:35,979 --> 00:27:37,219 Speaker 2: guys prefer and why? 623 00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,410 Speaker 1: I think it's nothing to do with the age. It's 624 00:27:39,420 --> 00:27:41,369 Speaker 1: more to do with the person. If I were, to 625 00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:44,270 Speaker 1: be very honest, my most happy relationship in my life 626 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,130 Speaker 1: is the one where I dated someone six years younger 627 00:27:47,140 --> 00:27:47,688 Speaker 1: than me. 628 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,079 Speaker 1: It's just because of him as a person. I think 629 00:27:52,089 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: I lucked out. 630 00:27:52,699 --> 00:27:52,810 Speaker 2: I 631 00:27:52,819 --> 00:27:57,109 Speaker 2: feel like once now that I've gone older, you never, 632 00:27:57,369 --> 00:28:01,030 Speaker 2: you never go back. It's a bit hard to go back. I, 633 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,149 Speaker 2: I like it. I feel very 634 00:28:04,415 --> 00:28:07,704 Speaker 2: ok. We've established this. Yes, I'm independent. I make my 635 00:28:07,714 --> 00:28:09,905 Speaker 2: own money. I can take care of myself, but it's 636 00:28:09,915 --> 00:28:12,734 Speaker 2: nice to be taken care of, to be young and like, 637 00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:15,775 Speaker 2: I don't care that all of you on social media, 638 00:28:15,785 --> 00:28:18,395 Speaker 2: call my daddy. I know what you're calling him. It's ok. 639 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:19,515 Speaker 2: I call him the same thing too. 640 00:28:22,089 --> 00:28:24,599 Speaker 2: But it's true. No, they fight with each other on 641 00:28:24,609 --> 00:28:26,979 Speaker 2: our comments. You know, like all my comments, like they'll 642 00:28:26,989 --> 00:28:29,290 Speaker 2: be like, oh, she's just a gold digger. Then someone 643 00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:31,438 Speaker 2: will fight with him and say, ha you calling her 644 00:28:31,449 --> 00:28:34,189 Speaker 2: a gold digger? Are you stupid or what? Then if 55555, 645 00:28:34,319 --> 00:28:37,359 Speaker 2: I'm just reading, I'm like having your own, my own 646 00:28:37,410 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 2: fun reading the currents. Anyways, you make me laugh like 647 00:28:40,530 --> 00:28:41,709 Speaker 2: the in between. 648 00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:42,750 Speaker 1: Ok, I like the 649 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,329 Speaker 2: not too big, not too small. What are we talking about? 650 00:28:48,510 --> 00:28:51,969 Speaker 2: Ok. So a couple of years older is a sweet 651 00:28:52,099 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 2: spot for you. Great. But can be younger, can, can, 652 00:28:55,839 --> 00:28:57,150 Speaker 1: can do younger but 653 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,890 Speaker 2: she'll be very assertive with a young, wanna be, 654 00:29:01,550 --> 00:29:02,900 Speaker 2: you know, she wants to be a baby. 655 00:29:03,369 --> 00:29:05,530 Speaker 1: My older guy can 656 00:29:05,540 --> 00:29:07,900 Speaker 2: is can but I just want to turn my brain off. 657 00:29:07,949 --> 00:29:10,449 Speaker 2: I think this is also like what Hazy said, where 658 00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:13,859 Speaker 2: you said? Because the guy you dated, who's younger, he 659 00:29:13,969 --> 00:29:17,390 Speaker 2: had been in the workforce already. He been in society already. 660 00:29:17,439 --> 00:29:21,420 Speaker 2: Imagine if he was a 24 year old student. Very different. 661 00:29:21,430 --> 00:29:23,119 Speaker 2: I was still in uni, very 662 00:29:23,130 --> 00:29:23,699 Speaker 2: different. 663 00:29:23,969 --> 00:29:26,119 Speaker 1: Yeah. And I remember he once told me he hasn't 664 00:29:26,130 --> 00:29:28,959 Speaker 1: been seeing anyone for like five years and he had 665 00:29:28,969 --> 00:29:30,859 Speaker 1: said that because he was always looking 666 00:29:31,689 --> 00:29:34,300 Speaker 1: at pierce his age, right? He never thought to look 667 00:29:34,310 --> 00:29:36,550 Speaker 1: for someone older than he because it was uncommon, like 668 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: they were a little bit different. He felt like maybe 669 00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:40,709 Speaker 1: in terms of thinking they were a bit different and 670 00:29:40,719 --> 00:29:43,699 Speaker 1: he chose not to step into any relationship. But now 671 00:29:43,709 --> 00:29:47,089 Speaker 1: that he knows that he needs someone more mature, this 672 00:29:47,099 --> 00:29:49,939 Speaker 1: is how we find each other we connected, I guess 673 00:29:49,949 --> 00:29:51,359 Speaker 1: in a sense and it worked out 674 00:29:51,369 --> 00:29:52,069 Speaker 1: perfectly. 675 00:29:52,079 --> 00:29:52,819 Speaker 2: So I think 676 00:29:53,339 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 2: what I've got it from today's episode is expand your horizons. 677 00:29:57,810 --> 00:30:01,079 Speaker 2: Not too far, like I said, not like never say 678 00:30:01,089 --> 00:30:03,410 Speaker 1: never within acceptable range. 679 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 2: Sure. Legal. That's number one, number two, expand your horizons and, 680 00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:12,420 Speaker 2: and don't be afraid to date older or younger. You've 681 00:30:12,430 --> 00:30:14,579 Speaker 2: never tried before. You wouldn't know if you like it 682 00:30:14,589 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 2: or not really, 683 00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:15,500 Speaker 1: it's 684 00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:18,020 Speaker 1: not, the age, age is just a number. It is 685 00:30:18,030 --> 00:30:18,699 Speaker 1: the person 686 00:30:18,709 --> 00:30:19,459 Speaker 2: if you 687 00:30:19,770 --> 00:30:23,050 Speaker 2: want to try something, but the age is stopping you. 688 00:30:23,060 --> 00:30:26,150 Speaker 2: Maybe you should try and convince yourself to look past 689 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 2: it because you never know. Yeah, and try to convince 690 00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:30,439 Speaker 2: yourself to look past the fact that your friend called 691 00:30:30,449 --> 00:30:31,099 Speaker 2: him an uncle. 692 00:30:32,420 --> 00:30:37,410 Speaker 2: Yeah. And, and you never know. You may be rewarded. 693 00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 2: Very Andrew 694 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:38,229 Speaker 1: is 695 00:30:38,239 --> 00:30:40,599 Speaker 1: going to be so heartbroken after he listens. 696 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:41,040 Speaker 2: He 697 00:30:41,390 --> 00:30:44,010 Speaker 2: like he knows when I see him, I call him 698 00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:45,930 Speaker 2: that you think. Ok, call him what uncle? 699 00:30:48,739 --> 00:30:51,209 Speaker 1: Well, anyways, if you have any thoughts or comments about 700 00:30:51,219 --> 00:30:53,719 Speaker 1: this episode, we are more than happy to hear them. 701 00:30:53,739 --> 00:30:56,500 Speaker 1: Drop us. A comment on Instagram at a clarity.co. 702 00:30:56,530 --> 00:30:58,229 Speaker 2: That's Right. We hope you had fun. You can listen 703 00:30:58,239 --> 00:31:00,619 Speaker 2: to us on me, listen, Apple Podcast, Spotify, send out 704 00:31:00,630 --> 00:31:03,479 Speaker 2: a notification and we're on youtube as well. We can't 705 00:31:03,489 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 2: wait to catch you next time. Go catch up on 706 00:31:05,050 --> 00:31:08,790 Speaker 2: all our latest episodes. Bye, see you. Bye.