1 00:00:02,109 --> 00:00:06,210 Speaker 1: It's us again, Tiffany and Gerald, we're back with our 2 00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:10,170 Speaker 1: ask me anything segment where Gerald answers a question you 3 00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:13,279 Speaker 1: have sent to us. So today's one was sent to 4 00:00:13,289 --> 00:00:16,569 Speaker 1: our producer and I'll read it out. What should I 5 00:00:16,579 --> 00:00:20,100 Speaker 1: do if my boss is having a crisis of confidence 6 00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:23,378 Speaker 1: and is second guessing him or herself? It's gone as 7 00:00:23,389 --> 00:00:27,649 Speaker 1: far as them asking me a subordinate to send off 8 00:00:27,659 --> 00:00:29,690 Speaker 1: an email to upper management 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,619 Speaker 1: because he or she feels that the upper management might 10 00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:37,779 Speaker 1: be more receptive to me sending the email. Is it 11 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:41,299 Speaker 1: considered unprofessional? If my boss lets on to the team 12 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:44,860 Speaker 1: that they are not confident of their abilities, how should 13 00:00:44,869 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: I navigate this situation? They are hoping that maybe their 14 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:52,220 Speaker 1: boss can regain some confidence to take charge of the 15 00:00:52,229 --> 00:00:53,098 Speaker 1: situation 16 00:00:53,369 --> 00:00:55,389 Speaker 1: and there could be a lot of reasons, I guess 17 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,619 Speaker 1: that led to this. Why do bosses? I guess in 18 00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:01,919 Speaker 1: general suddenly become so not confident about their own 19 00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:02,830 Speaker 1: abilities? 20 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,910 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is definitely interesting. Tiffany, 21 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,010 Speaker 2: usually we hear the situation the other way around, right? 22 00:01:08,029 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 2: The employee who show of confidence in the boss to 23 00:01:10,169 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 2: step in. But this time we have a boss who 24 00:01:12,169 --> 00:01:14,790 Speaker 2: show of confidence and is dependent on employees to do 25 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,139 Speaker 2: his or her job. So maybe if we step into 26 00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:19,489 Speaker 2: the bosses world for a moment, maybe we can think 27 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,919 Speaker 2: about what could cause the boss to have low confidence. 28 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,509 Speaker 2: Some of the reasons I've heard from people I've met before, 29 00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:27,849 Speaker 2: I've heard from bosses who have been affected by senior management. 30 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,660 Speaker 2: Something happened between them and senior management and they had 31 00:01:30,669 --> 00:01:31,518 Speaker 2: a confidence, 32 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,599 Speaker 2: right? I see. And the boss just ends up sidestepping 33 00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:36,919 Speaker 2: all the work and asking the staff to directly work 34 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,830 Speaker 2: with the senior management. I've seen that I've seen how 35 00:01:39,839 --> 00:01:43,839 Speaker 2: bosses who are unfamiliar with the subject matter of the work. Basically, 36 00:01:43,849 --> 00:01:46,089 Speaker 2: the boss cannot perform can do the job. This is 37 00:01:46,099 --> 00:01:48,860 Speaker 2: from a young employee because the person, the employee has 38 00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:51,989 Speaker 2: to attend all the leadership meetings with his boss because 39 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,529 Speaker 2: the boss doesn't understand the technicalities of the work and 40 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,940 Speaker 2: always needs him to be around, ok? And then to 41 00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:57,959 Speaker 2: draft out the points for 42 00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,139 Speaker 2: him so that he understands and then draft the email 43 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:03,150 Speaker 2: and then let the boss sent on one perspective. Of course, 44 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,169 Speaker 2: we've got bosses who don't want to be bosses in 45 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:08,448 Speaker 2: the first place. The reluctant manager. That's right for a 46 00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,630 Speaker 2: person who was leading a team that never really wanted 47 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,339 Speaker 2: to lead person was asked to lead because he was 48 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,990 Speaker 2: a good performer at work. But he didn't like leading 49 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,550 Speaker 2: people as he knew, he couldn't manage the people management 50 00:02:19,649 --> 00:02:22,270 Speaker 2: area as well. He didn't have the finesse to deal 51 00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:24,369 Speaker 2: with the leadership politics, but 52 00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:26,619 Speaker 2: he took the road anyway because most of us would, 53 00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:29,500 Speaker 2: and months down the regrets kick in. So I think 54 00:02:29,508 --> 00:02:32,198 Speaker 2: it's important to understand your boss situation so that you 55 00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:34,979 Speaker 2: also know how dire the situation is. It could be 56 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,410 Speaker 2: a one off that maybe will resolve itself or could 57 00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:39,538 Speaker 2: be very prolonged if it's caused by one of the 58 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 2: reasons I shared 59 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:40,699 Speaker 2: earlier. 60 00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:44,210 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's quite unprofessional. I feel to ask your 61 00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:48,699 Speaker 1: subordinate to speak on behalf to senior management. So how 62 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,820 Speaker 1: do we navigate this situation? 63 00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:54,168 Speaker 1: And if you don't feel comfortable doing this on behalf 64 00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:54,929 Speaker 1: of your boss, 65 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:58,190 Speaker 2: I think definitely there is the effect on the team. 66 00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:00,460 Speaker 2: This sounds like your boss's problem, but the team is 67 00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 2: bearing the brunt of it. Of course. Yeah, I think 68 00:03:03,169 --> 00:03:05,889 Speaker 2: of course, the team also feels less confident in the boss, 69 00:03:05,979 --> 00:03:08,630 Speaker 2: less trust in the decisions that are made. Overall, the 70 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 2: team morale is just going to suffer in such situations. 71 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:14,529 Speaker 2: Usually I would say the boss may not last for long. 72 00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:17,020 Speaker 2: They will know of their own struggle. They can sense 73 00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:17,210 Speaker 2: it 74 00:03:17,559 --> 00:03:19,619 Speaker 2: and it's just a matter of how long they can 75 00:03:19,669 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 2: stand before they eventually transit out or redesign it to 76 00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:26,279 Speaker 2: another position on their own, right? But as long as 77 00:03:26,288 --> 00:03:28,449 Speaker 2: they are there, then the team has to support the boss. 78 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:31,309 Speaker 2: So some ideas maybe for you as the employee to 79 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,970 Speaker 2: navigate the situation. I think a really big one is 80 00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:36,820 Speaker 2: about communicating to your boss, right? OK. First thing you 81 00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:38,509 Speaker 2: got to do is perhaps you got to give the 82 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: direct feedback to your boss. If you have a good 83 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,809 Speaker 2: relationship with your boss or your trusted peer, somehow you 84 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:45,699 Speaker 2: have that very close relationship there, 85 00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 2: please bring up the situation to them, one on one 86 00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:50,398 Speaker 2: and maybe you want to highlight to them that you're 87 00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:52,479 Speaker 2: speaking to them as a friend and then raise your 88 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:55,279 Speaker 2: points objectively, don't make it sound like it's blame or 89 00:03:55,289 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 2: reprimand and to include the encouragement and support as well. 90 00:03:58,759 --> 00:04:01,479 Speaker 2: But if you don't have that kind of good relationship 91 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,449 Speaker 2: and there's that distance between you and your boss, but 92 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,669 Speaker 2: you still want to get it through to him or her, 93 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,139 Speaker 2: then maybe you want to use things like 360 feedbacks. 94 00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:11,410 Speaker 2: If there is that being done in the organization, many companies, 95 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,759 Speaker 2: they do have annual 96 00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:16,027 Speaker 2: or half yearly 360 leadership feedback or your boss may 97 00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:18,755 Speaker 2: attend the leadership course requires the direct reports to the 98 00:04:18,777 --> 00:04:19,837 Speaker 2: feedback as well. But 99 00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:21,596 Speaker 1: what if I don't want to burn my bridges? What 100 00:04:21,606 --> 00:04:23,796 Speaker 1: if I feel that this is an awkward situation and 101 00:04:23,807 --> 00:04:26,367 Speaker 1: I don't want to be identified? Then what can I do? 102 00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:27,106 Speaker 2: I think 103 00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:29,606 Speaker 2: you could give your feedback anonymously. I have heard of 104 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,236 Speaker 2: a case, but this is a bit unorthodox, right? But 105 00:04:32,247 --> 00:04:34,606 Speaker 2: this is what really happened. I heard someone who created 106 00:04:34,617 --> 00:04:36,967 Speaker 2: a new email account, of course, maybe a gmail or 107 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,606 Speaker 2: Outlook email account with a pseudo name, send the 108 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:43,204 Speaker 2: feedback plus encouragement to the boss. OK. So the boss 109 00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:45,903 Speaker 2: read it, acknowledged it with a thank you and things 110 00:04:45,914 --> 00:04:47,713 Speaker 2: became better from there. So the boss, you don't know 111 00:04:47,723 --> 00:04:49,954 Speaker 2: who sent it. But the whole point of this is 112 00:04:49,963 --> 00:04:52,272 Speaker 2: to get the feedback or rather the situation to raise 113 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:54,553 Speaker 2: it up for awareness, to let the boss know that 114 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:57,114 Speaker 2: this is really affecting the team, regardless of what method 115 00:04:57,123 --> 00:04:59,623 Speaker 2: we use. It. Just more important for the boss alone. 116 00:04:59,854 --> 00:05:02,563 Speaker 2: And of course, dealing with this situation, the culture of 117 00:05:02,574 --> 00:05:05,294 Speaker 2: the climate within the team will likely be something like 118 00:05:05,303 --> 00:05:06,443 Speaker 2: perhaps a little bit gossip 119 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 2: because your boss's behavior is becoming the talk of the lunchtime, right? 120 00:05:10,531 --> 00:05:13,989 Speaker 2: Sometimes people might say demeaning things, it might demoralize the 121 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,411 Speaker 2: team a lot more. So I think today if you're 122 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:19,281 Speaker 2: in that team, perhaps you might want to maybe manage 123 00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:22,110 Speaker 2: that talk a little bit by not adding more negative points, 124 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:22,580 Speaker 1: fuel 125 00:05:22,591 --> 00:05:23,371 Speaker 1: to the fire. 126 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. And maybe if possible to kind of steer the 127 00:05:25,811 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 2: conversation towards more supportive and help oriented direction, it's not 128 00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:31,911 Speaker 2: so much of helping your boss, but it's helping you 129 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,300 Speaker 2: and the team as well because 130 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,470 Speaker 2: nobody wants to go back after talking about your boss 131 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 2: back to your work and then you start to feel like, ah, 132 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 2: you have to struggle and suffer. Yeah, exactly. So we 133 00:05:41,769 --> 00:05:43,670 Speaker 2: got to manage the office, stop there. So 134 00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:46,859 Speaker 1: regardless of the feedback channel, we choose, what should we 135 00:05:46,869 --> 00:05:49,390 Speaker 1: focus on when giving feedback to our 136 00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:50,109 Speaker 1: bosses? 137 00:05:50,119 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: I think if we can keep it objective, perhaps you 138 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,940 Speaker 2: can just mention about the situation, what happened? Exactly if 139 00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:57,829 Speaker 2: today you are writing or 140 00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:00,286 Speaker 2: you are saying it to somebody to your boss, be 141 00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:03,815 Speaker 2: specific about what incident happened, when did it happen? And 142 00:06:03,826 --> 00:06:07,976 Speaker 2: then also mention the behavior, what was observed, what happened 143 00:06:07,986 --> 00:06:10,755 Speaker 2: with your boss. And then lastly the impact, right? What 144 00:06:10,766 --> 00:06:13,765 Speaker 2: happened to you as a result of the behavior in 145 00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:16,307 Speaker 2: that situation? How did it make you feel? What did 146 00:06:16,315 --> 00:06:19,255 Speaker 2: they create? What it cause I think all this is 147 00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:22,096 Speaker 2: important to bring it up and try to use more 148 00:06:22,484 --> 00:06:25,373 Speaker 2: language because you're dealing with your boss. We don't want 149 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:28,273 Speaker 2: to hurt the person's feelings as well, right? And of course, 150 00:06:28,283 --> 00:06:30,213 Speaker 2: we are also so sensitive you are scared talking to, 151 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,433 Speaker 2: of course, so basically just raise this in as objective 152 00:06:33,444 --> 00:06:36,533 Speaker 2: terms as possible. If you could maybe ask someone who 153 00:06:36,544 --> 00:06:38,653 Speaker 2: is not from the company, someone from the outside just 154 00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,563 Speaker 2: to review to see, does it sound OK before you 155 00:06:42,574 --> 00:06:45,152 Speaker 2: send it to your boss? And I suggest doing this 156 00:06:45,164 --> 00:06:46,533 Speaker 2: even if you are sending the another 157 00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 2: so on. Because what you hope for is to get 158 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,710 Speaker 2: the boss to acknowledge, right? That yes, indeed, this is 159 00:06:51,721 --> 00:06:54,479 Speaker 2: the challenge. This is something that I will work on 160 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,289 Speaker 2: instead of defending against. No, this is not right. It 161 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:57,550 Speaker 2: never 162 00:06:57,561 --> 00:06:57,979 Speaker 2: happened. 163 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,390 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think at the end of the day, it 164 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:01,590 Speaker 1: sounds like you want to give as honest a feedback 165 00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:04,539 Speaker 1: as possible, but you need to also do it with 166 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,401 Speaker 1: a calm head, make sure that you are making the 167 00:07:07,411 --> 00:07:10,911 Speaker 1: right decisions, choosing the right words before you talk about it. 168 00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:13,670 Speaker 1: And I hope that for you, the listener, if you 169 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,470 Speaker 1: do decide to do that constructive feedback, 170 00:07:16,799 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: your boss will take it well. And if you've tried 171 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:21,929 Speaker 1: out some of the tips that Gerald has given and 172 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:24,429 Speaker 1: they work, please let us know, write to us at 173 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: CN A podcasts at mediacorp.com dot SG and also send 174 00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: us a work related question. We are happy to answer. 175 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,739 Speaker 1: Put it up on youtube. The team behind the work 176 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:38,170 Speaker 1: it podcast is Christina Robert Joanne Chan, Jaini Johari. Say 177 00:07:38,429 --> 00:07:42,239 Speaker 1: Wind and Ross Le Put sound mixing is by Carrie Lim. 178 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:43,059 Speaker 1: I'm Tiffany 179 00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:45,959 Speaker 2: and I'm Gerald. Wishing you a super work week ahead. 180 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:48,260 Speaker 2: OK?