1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:03,049 Speaker 1: Hi, Tao. Heys and I'm Jermaine and welcome back to 2 00:00:03,059 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: another episode of CLA. 3 00:00:06,409 --> 00:00:09,060 Speaker 1: So today we are all dressed in pink because I 4 00:00:09,069 --> 00:00:11,770 Speaker 1: think pink represents romance. 5 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:16,750 Speaker 2: Your favorite topic? Who's a hopeless romantic here, 6 00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,500 Speaker 1: Jermaine? Who else? Excuse me? 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,290 Speaker 2: I think Azora is a hopeless romantic. I think me 8 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,979 Speaker 1: define hopeless romantic. 9 00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:29,219 Speaker 2: Like you're always chasing after love. You love love. You 10 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,579 Speaker 2: always want to be like in some sort of a 11 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:31,829 Speaker 2: situation with love. 12 00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:33,909 Speaker 1: I don't know, 13 00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:36,930 Speaker 2: like she's always caught up in something. Basically. That's what 14 00:00:36,939 --> 00:00:39,689 Speaker 2: I'm saying. I even offended just now. Now I am. 15 00:00:41,848 --> 00:00:44,009 Speaker 1: So, what are you caught up in? Nothing? 16 00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:48,958 Speaker 2: I love myself and I love my friends. Ok. That's 17 00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 2: what we're talking about. But I do, I didn't want 18 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:55,029 Speaker 2: to ask you guys. Right. Do you remember when? At 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 2: what age do you have your first boyfriend? 20 00:00:57,729 --> 00:01:01,099 Speaker 1: Oh, my God. I don't even know my parents know 21 00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: about this. You know, it's ok. They don't listen. No, no, no. 22 00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:05,690 Speaker 1: That was after not 23 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:06,470 Speaker 2: the Haran 24 00:01:07,989 --> 00:01:12,250 Speaker 1: refer to episode. What was it like 30 long time ago. 25 00:01:12,379 --> 00:01:14,970 Speaker 1: But 14, I guess. 1414. 26 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 2: How long did that relationship? I put air codes last 27 00:01:18,769 --> 00:01:18,879 Speaker 2: one 28 00:01:18,889 --> 00:01:20,018 Speaker 1: month and four weeks, 29 00:01:20,029 --> 00:01:20,970 Speaker 2: that's two months 30 00:01:23,739 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: was trying to make like a 14 reference, you know, 31 00:01:26,139 --> 00:01:29,029 Speaker 1: but I don't know how long it lasted. Probably not 32 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,010 Speaker 1: that long. It's like puppy love kind of thing, you know. 33 00:01:31,019 --> 00:01:31,690 Speaker 1: But you call 34 00:01:31,699 --> 00:01:32,569 Speaker 2: him your boyfriend 35 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:35,239 Speaker 2: each 36 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,349 Speaker 1: other one. I think so. I think so. Ok. 37 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,569 Speaker 2: Do you date, like go on dates? I don't know, 38 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,089 Speaker 2: at 14, 39 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,110 Speaker 1: I guess like two bus rides together, you say 40 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,059 Speaker 2: mcdonald's 41 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,239 Speaker 1: mcdonald's, you take bus rides, go to mcdonald's and then 42 00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:51,050 Speaker 1: sit down have lunch then 43 00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:54,069 Speaker 2: dating at 14 0. What about you? When was late? Ok. 44 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,970 Speaker 2: What was your first boyfriend? Late? So defensive. At what age? 45 00:02:01,849 --> 00:02:07,839 Speaker 2: 90? Wow. But were you dating before? That means dating 46 00:02:07,849 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: means like going out, going on dates, meeting new people 47 00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:15,559 Speaker 2: in a, with hopes of a romantic relationship blossoming. I 48 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 2: think I was seeing people but without hopes of it 49 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,820 Speaker 2: being anything. Ok. 50 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,470 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's very great. Like what constitutes a 51 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:30,690 Speaker 1: relationship and what is dating? So a relationship is ok. 52 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,300 Speaker 1: If I ask this person or like a guy as 53 00:02:33,309 --> 00:02:35,110 Speaker 1: a girl, I want to be my girlfriend, then that 54 00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:36,550 Speaker 1: blossoms into a relationship 55 00:02:36,559 --> 00:02:39,788 Speaker 2: that is a relationship. Yes. But dating can just be 56 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,869 Speaker 2: not necessarily having any goals for it. Like you can 57 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,119 Speaker 2: just go out and meet people not saying I want 58 00:02:46,130 --> 00:02:47,350 Speaker 2: to eventually marry someone. 59 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: I want to settle down have kids. It's not that serious. Right. 60 00:02:49,889 --> 00:02:52,418 Speaker 2: It's just meeting people. Ok. It sounds a 61 00:02:52,508 --> 00:02:54,660 Speaker 1: bit like a situationship. 62 00:02:54,809 --> 00:02:58,820 Speaker 2: No, I think that there's a difference. It's usually you 63 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,758 Speaker 2: hope for it to go somewhere. But it's the early 64 00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:05,350 Speaker 2: days before you sit down and talk about it being 65 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:10,258 Speaker 2: a relationship, I guess my first boyfriend, official boyfriend actually, 66 00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,179 Speaker 2: same as hazy 14. 67 00:03:12,538 --> 00:03:13,020 Speaker 1: But I don't even 68 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: know if we can call that like a boyfriend boyfriend. 69 00:03:16,538 --> 00:03:20,970 Speaker 2: It lasted like a month then after this is what happened. 70 00:03:20,979 --> 00:03:23,690 Speaker 2: So I dated this guy for a month at 14. Right. 71 00:03:23,699 --> 00:03:26,029 Speaker 2: Then we don't know, held the door open for you. No, no, no, 72 00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:29,100 Speaker 2: we never dated. That guy is an asshole. So I, 73 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,209 Speaker 2: this guy for one month and then I broke up, 74 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:33,949 Speaker 2: we broke up and then a month later I dated 75 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,050 Speaker 2: another guy with the same name for one more 76 00:03:37,059 --> 00:03:38,479 Speaker 1: month. Sounds like a Jonathan. 77 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,419 Speaker 2: It was a Christopher 78 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,130 Speaker 2: but that wasn't really dating. Like obviously when you're 14, 79 00:03:46,139 --> 00:03:49,149 Speaker 2: maybe even up to your early twenties when you date, right? 80 00:03:49,289 --> 00:03:50,928 Speaker 2: What do you expect out of dating? 81 00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:52,419 Speaker 1: You know, last time when you used to watch a 82 00:03:52,429 --> 00:03:55,419 Speaker 1: lot of dramas or? Sure you would expect your boyfriend 83 00:03:55,429 --> 00:03:57,889 Speaker 1: to do a lot of things for you. Like sweet things. 84 00:03:57,899 --> 00:03:58,789 Speaker 1: Get you flowers. 85 00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:02,895 Speaker 2: Me stars with star paper. Exactly. Yeah. 86 00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:07,375 Speaker 1: Yeah. Walk you home, hold your hands, do homework with you, 87 00:04:07,384 --> 00:04:10,494 Speaker 1: things like this. Ok. Ok. Yeah, I feel like it's 88 00:04:10,505 --> 00:04:11,845 Speaker 1: the thought that counts. 89 00:04:11,925 --> 00:04:14,535 Speaker 2: So you think in the early stages of dating. 90 00:04:14,869 --> 00:04:16,649 Speaker 2: That's what you were looking out for. 91 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. At that age, at that time, at that age, 92 00:04:18,928 --> 00:04:19,890 Speaker 1: at that time I think 93 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:23,239 Speaker 2: I just wanted to have fun. I like companionship. I 94 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,010 Speaker 2: like having someone to go to the movies with Celebrate 95 00:04:26,019 --> 00:04:29,519 Speaker 2: Valentine's Day with Hold Hands on the escalator PD. Like, 96 00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:33,130 Speaker 2: it's true when you're young. That's all you think about. Right. 97 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,079 Speaker 2: It's true. And so in love, things like that. Yeah. 98 00:04:36,613 --> 00:04:40,284 Speaker 2: And then when you get older, that's when reality hits. 99 00:04:40,575 --> 00:04:43,144 Speaker 2: Like I saw this meme that said, like dating in 100 00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:46,684 Speaker 2: your teens versus your twenties, right? In your teens is 101 00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:49,243 Speaker 2: like having fun, having fun. Let's go out in your twenties. 102 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,803 Speaker 2: It's like, what past traumas have you had? Oh, yes. 103 00:04:51,815 --> 00:04:55,255 Speaker 2: And what have you done to resolve them? Resolve them? Yes. 104 00:04:55,265 --> 00:04:56,885 Speaker 2: How far along your healing journey? 105 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:01,109 Speaker 2: Shit gets real in your late twenties and thirties? 106 00:05:01,119 --> 00:05:02,929 Speaker 1: I don't know. What was it like when you just 107 00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,779 Speaker 1: started dating at 19? Because I would expect for someone 108 00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:08,450 Speaker 1: at the age of 19, you are more sensible. You 109 00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:09,868 Speaker 1: are more mature. Is it? 110 00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:17,769 Speaker 2: She's 29. Ok. Here's what I think. I think a 111 00:05:17,779 --> 00:05:18,549 Speaker 2: lot of us when we, 112 00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:21,363 Speaker 2: the early twenties we wanted that one. Love that. Oh, 113 00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:24,773 Speaker 2: must last remember we spoke about this before we, before 114 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:28,001 Speaker 2: that this is the last like you just have this 115 00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:32,713 Speaker 2: idea that the fewer ex boyfriends you have, the better, 116 00:05:32,812 --> 00:05:35,381 Speaker 2: the fewer people you date the better you want to 117 00:05:35,392 --> 00:05:38,282 Speaker 2: stick to one person. And then eventually, I think sometimes 118 00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:39,263 Speaker 2: we try that out 119 00:05:39,385 --> 00:05:43,255 Speaker 2: and then we realize why, because when you date, when 120 00:05:43,265 --> 00:05:45,436 Speaker 2: you're younger, as opposed to when you did, when you're 121 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,216 Speaker 2: a bit older, when you're older, you're more mature as well, 122 00:05:48,226 --> 00:05:50,716 Speaker 2: you know how to navigate the thing. So obviously you 123 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:51,854 Speaker 2: want different things, right? 124 00:05:52,325 --> 00:05:54,776 Speaker 1: But this is not to say that this didn't work 125 00:05:54,786 --> 00:05:57,484 Speaker 1: out for everybody. Like my brother and my sister in law, 126 00:05:57,496 --> 00:05:59,664 Speaker 1: they met when they were like, what 14 127 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:02,940 Speaker 1: together since then. And now they have a daughter. Cute 128 00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:03,469 Speaker 1: little Kira. 129 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,678 Speaker 2: He was like her Christopher, but it worked out exactly 130 00:06:08,029 --> 00:06:12,089 Speaker 1: recently I saw on social media, this local singer in Singapore. 131 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,070 Speaker 1: She just got married and she was recapping on her 132 00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:18,010 Speaker 1: love life. Right? Turns out she and her then boyfriend, 133 00:06:18,019 --> 00:06:21,410 Speaker 1: now husband also met when they were in secondary school. 134 00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: They studied together, they progressed to poly together, went through 135 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,299 Speaker 1: the end 136 00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:28,969 Speaker 1: stage together, step into society together. Sure. They face the 137 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,549 Speaker 1: breakup in between like one time, but they found their 138 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,369 Speaker 1: way back to each other and now they're happily married 139 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,890 Speaker 1: and her caption was, I've been waiting for this day. 140 00:06:35,899 --> 00:06:38,140 Speaker 1: Half my life. That's so sweet, 141 00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:42,170 Speaker 2: isn't it? So, sweetheart. I don't think there is necessarily 142 00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:45,450 Speaker 2: a perfect time to date or I love, you can 143 00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:48,010 Speaker 2: find love at any time in your life in any corner. Right? 144 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,290 Speaker 2: But there are certain things you have to 145 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 2: consider, I think. But when it comes to, like, when 146 00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,609 Speaker 2: do I start dating? Like, for example, let's say you're 147 00:06:55,619 --> 00:06:58,820 Speaker 2: talking to a younger sister or, you know, eventually your 148 00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:01,950 Speaker 2: daughter in the future. If we ever have daughters, when 149 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,238 Speaker 2: would you think it would be appropriate for them to 150 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,910 Speaker 2: start dating? You think? 14? If your daughter came to 151 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,959 Speaker 2: you hazy and said mommy, mommy, I'm 14. Mommy. Mommy. 152 00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,299 Speaker 2: I have a boyfriend. Would you freak? Yeah. 153 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,299 Speaker 1: No, go lie. I would you freak out? 154 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:18,190 Speaker 1: 14 is a bit too young? Ok. Just my personal 155 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,850 Speaker 1: opinion because I've been there, done that. Right. Right. And 156 00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: it didn't turn out well and it hurt my feelings 157 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,929 Speaker 1: which is why I feel like maybe you should wait 158 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:28,269 Speaker 1: till a bit more mature. Of course, I wouldn't mind 159 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:32,510 Speaker 1: my daughter stepping out having fun with friends, knowing more people, 160 00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:34,709 Speaker 1: but I would love for her to know what she's 161 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,269 Speaker 1: getting herself into. Basically. 162 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: What do you mean by know what she's getting herself into? 163 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,269 Speaker 2: What is she getting herself in? 164 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:45,109 Speaker 1: Like should she choose to further her conversations, for example, 165 00:07:45,119 --> 00:07:48,260 Speaker 1: or like her interactions with this particular guy? Then she 166 00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:50,980 Speaker 1: must know that she will have to face the consequences 167 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:52,390 Speaker 1: if things don't work out if 168 00:07:52,399 --> 00:07:54,769 Speaker 2: she gets her. Yeah, she gets her if the guy 169 00:07:54,989 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 2: doesn't treat her well. 170 00:07:56,579 --> 00:07:59,829 Speaker 1: So fun story. A veteran DJ in the industry once 171 00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: told me that she has two daughters and she once 172 00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:04,940 Speaker 1: said that if her daughters want to go out and 173 00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:05,220 Speaker 1: date 174 00:08:05,690 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: at the age of 16 to 18, she would say 175 00:08:07,649 --> 00:08:12,369 Speaker 1: yes because she wants her daughter to know or like, yeah, 176 00:08:12,549 --> 00:08:16,029 Speaker 1: to experience and understand what kind of guys suit her 177 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,239 Speaker 1: or she needs. So she feels like knowing more people 178 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,609 Speaker 1: at a young age is good. But on the other hand, 179 00:08:21,619 --> 00:08:23,859 Speaker 1: I was speaking with this other person in the industry, 180 00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: she said if she had a daughter, 20 plus years 181 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:28,959 Speaker 1: old would be a good time for her to start 182 00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:29,489 Speaker 1: dating 183 00:08:29,739 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: to which I was like, yo, that's quite late. No, 184 00:08:34,219 --> 00:08:36,219 Speaker 1: but yeah, that's why. But she feels like then her 185 00:08:36,229 --> 00:08:37,479 Speaker 1: daughter will be more mature. 186 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,119 Speaker 2: But the thing is what you're looking for at 14 187 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:42,219 Speaker 2: and what you're looking for at 24 what you're looking 188 00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:44,900 Speaker 2: for is 34 is very different. Correct? So who's to 189 00:08:44,909 --> 00:08:48,270 Speaker 2: say that you shouldn't experience one sort of love or 190 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,250 Speaker 2: the other sort of love? You know what I mean? 191 00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:54,010 Speaker 2: Because if you think that 14 is too young to 192 00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:56,079 Speaker 2: date because you want to protect her from being hard. 193 00:08:56,155 --> 00:08:58,266 Speaker 2: 24. That's 194 00:08:58,276 --> 00:09:00,795 Speaker 1: true. As long as your first relationship, I feel like 195 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,557 Speaker 1: you're prone to getting hurt because you haven't been in 196 00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:06,057 Speaker 1: this before. Right. Right. 197 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:11,046 Speaker 2: I think a lot of experts agree that minimally you 198 00:09:11,057 --> 00:09:15,506 Speaker 2: should be 16 before you start. Really? Because there's a 199 00:09:15,517 --> 00:09:19,577 Speaker 2: bit more of emotional maturity, right. Obviously some kids are 200 00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:22,307 Speaker 2: more emotionally mature when they're younger than 16. Some take 201 00:09:22,317 --> 00:09:22,476 Speaker 2: a bit 202 00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:26,794 Speaker 2: longer. But around the average of 16. Right is when 203 00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:29,103 Speaker 2: you are able to, I guess, think for yourself a 204 00:09:29,114 --> 00:09:32,314 Speaker 2: bit more. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's why I'm the 205 00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:37,113 Speaker 2: only one here. You are late bloomer, which very well 206 00:09:37,973 --> 00:09:41,893 Speaker 2: like a flower here. Yeah. But also I think dating 207 00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:44,164 Speaker 2: you don't really have to, let's say, like, put so 208 00:09:44,174 --> 00:09:46,353 Speaker 2: much pressure on it. It's not like, OK, we did 209 00:09:46,364 --> 00:09:47,984 Speaker 2: for two months and then we start holding hands and 210 00:09:47,994 --> 00:09:48,833 Speaker 2: then after that, we kiss 211 00:09:48,991 --> 00:09:50,851 Speaker 2: and then after that we, and then we end up 212 00:09:50,861 --> 00:09:52,741 Speaker 2: married and then within five years we have to have 213 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:54,651 Speaker 2: a kid and have a home and you don't have 214 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,851 Speaker 2: to put so much pressure. Like as I said, the 215 00:09:56,861 --> 00:10:00,250 Speaker 2: time line need not be so strict. 216 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,851 Speaker 1: And I think love is all about having fun. If 217 00:10:02,861 --> 00:10:05,690 Speaker 1: you ask me, finding a partner for yourself is all 218 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,731 Speaker 1: about understanding each other, communicating, turning to each other when 219 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:11,161 Speaker 1: you need each other. And then eventually, if it works out, 220 00:10:11,171 --> 00:10:13,091 Speaker 1: you start a family. That's how you can walk the 221 00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:14,901 Speaker 1: rest of your life together. No. Yeah. It's 222 00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:15,290 Speaker 2: true. 223 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 2: I think relationships are a lot more than for me, 224 00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,250 Speaker 2: I think, especially in my twenties, a lot more than 225 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:24,718 Speaker 2: just having fun. Relationships actually show you a side of 226 00:10:24,729 --> 00:10:27,239 Speaker 2: yourself that you don't necessarily want to see because you 227 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:30,500 Speaker 2: spend so much time with this person, your ugly side 228 00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:32,929 Speaker 2: is gonna come up. You can't hide it forever. You 229 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,729 Speaker 2: can't hide your skeletons forever. Then it's like shit. Am 230 00:10:35,739 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 2: I ready to acknowledge my flaws and my traumas and 231 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:44,049 Speaker 2: you know, work on them so that I can be 232 00:10:44,059 --> 00:10:46,849 Speaker 2: better for this person and it's an ugly process. It's 233 00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:49,729 Speaker 2: like not a very nice process but, but you grow 234 00:10:49,739 --> 00:10:52,289 Speaker 2: because of that, but only if you want to, if 235 00:10:52,299 --> 00:10:53,750 Speaker 2: you don't want to, then you're always going to be 236 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,030 Speaker 1: stuck. But that also proves something that you are so 237 00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:59,950 Speaker 1: comfortable with this person that you allow him to see 238 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,690 Speaker 1: that side of you. It's scary 239 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 2: too though. Eventually. No, 240 00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:08,109 Speaker 2: how guarded you are, you will fall into a comfortable 241 00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:11,710 Speaker 2: place and once you start getting comfortable, you can try 242 00:11:11,719 --> 00:11:13,909 Speaker 2: and hide but I think you will come out in 243 00:11:13,919 --> 00:11:17,070 Speaker 2: some shape and form. Yeah. I mean, as much as 244 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,650 Speaker 2: you don't want to show them that side of you 245 00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:22,049 Speaker 2: and it may be scary, but it is important to 246 00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:24,968 Speaker 2: be honest. Right. Right. And you also see that side 247 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:27,119 Speaker 2: of them and you also have to help them grow 248 00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:30,390 Speaker 2: to be the best version of themselves. So relationships, they 249 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 2: do help you grow at different stages of your life. 250 00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:35,218 Speaker 2: Not just waiting till like I'm 30 I'm ready to 251 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:36,599 Speaker 2: get married. Then I start dating. 252 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,020 Speaker 1: Yeah. And a lot of people have ideas in their minds. 253 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:42,570 Speaker 1: My ideal boyfriend must be handsome, tall, must make this 254 00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:45,460 Speaker 1: amount of money must come from what kind of family background. 255 00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: But you know what a girlfriend was recently telling me, 256 00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: have you realized that your ideal boyfriend may not be 257 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:53,369 Speaker 1: the most suitable for you? I got 258 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,929 Speaker 2: 7 billion people in the world 259 00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:57,789 Speaker 2: you met. All of them haven't 260 00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:01,260 Speaker 1: hopeful is the, 261 00:12:03,349 --> 00:12:06,098 Speaker 2: it's ok. You wait, you wait, we wait with you. 262 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:07,330 Speaker 2: But 263 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: yes, she has been chasing her ideals for so long, 264 00:12:12,119 --> 00:12:15,119 Speaker 1: but none of them worked out. So that's why as 265 00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: she aged she told herself something is wrong here. She 266 00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: needs to adjust her idea and strike a balance with 267 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: what is suitable for her. 268 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:25,900 Speaker 2: Ok? I think it's not wrong to have ideals, but 269 00:12:25,909 --> 00:12:29,890 Speaker 2: that doesn't mean that this person comes, doesn't, doesn't check, 270 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,950 Speaker 2: doesn't check, ok? You don't give it a chance at all. 271 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,909 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like it's ok to have 272 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,119 Speaker 2: ideals but maybe 273 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,819 Speaker 2: you also gonna stay open because you never know. It 274 00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:41,799 Speaker 2: surprises you, right. That is true because like to be honest, right? 275 00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:44,380 Speaker 2: A lot of I know a lot of friends, especially 276 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,729 Speaker 2: in our age of industry I think are still very 277 00:12:46,739 --> 00:12:49,700 Speaker 2: career focused, right? Like for example, Hazy, I think you 278 00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:52,580 Speaker 2: are more focused on yourself and your career as opposed 279 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:55,380 Speaker 2: to looking for love. Like let me ask you, are 280 00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:56,219 Speaker 2: you looking for love? 281 00:12:56,229 --> 00:12:59,510 Speaker 1: No, honestly and all it scares me a little because 282 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:02,469 Speaker 1: when I was for example, 20 love was all I 283 00:13:02,479 --> 00:13:03,270 Speaker 1: was looking for, 284 00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:06,849 Speaker 1: I needed a boyfriend in every phase of my life 285 00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:11,069 Speaker 1: back then. But now I feel like, hey, actually it's 286 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,859 Speaker 1: quite comfortable to be alone and deep down, I'm a 287 00:13:14,869 --> 00:13:17,449 Speaker 1: bit worried that I would be accustomed to this state 288 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:20,010 Speaker 1: for long and then I would just give up looking 289 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,119 Speaker 1: for love. Has a 290 00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:24,469 Speaker 2: friend like that. Yes. Who said that she's become so 291 00:13:24,479 --> 00:13:26,709 Speaker 2: used to being single that she's worried that she 292 00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:28,724 Speaker 2: can't ever be in a relationship again. I 293 00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,724 Speaker 1: can just my mindset. You know what I mean? 294 00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:36,075 Speaker 2: Regardless for Hazy, right? Keep yourself open. I'm trying to, to, 295 00:13:36,085 --> 00:13:38,814 Speaker 2: you know, to love because you never know like honestly, 296 00:13:38,825 --> 00:13:40,784 Speaker 2: you're not looking for it, you're not searching for it 297 00:13:40,794 --> 00:13:43,664 Speaker 2: and that's fine but be open to the possibility that 298 00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:47,255 Speaker 2: love will just fall in your lap. Yes. Who knows 299 00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:48,664 Speaker 2: I attract? I don't 300 00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:51,125 Speaker 1: chase. OK. OK. I reply that guy. I blue ticked 301 00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:54,025 Speaker 1: five days ago. 302 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 1: OK. Tell you later. OK. 303 00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:00,239 Speaker 2: But yeah, so this is the thing, right? Like, have 304 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,770 Speaker 2: you ever heard of the whole trope where it's like 305 00:14:02,859 --> 00:14:05,789 Speaker 2: I found love when I was least expecting it. I 306 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,789 Speaker 2: feel like this the story every single time that me 307 00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:09,689 Speaker 1: all the time. Really? 308 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:13,030 Speaker 2: That's always the story. You just said that you were 309 00:14:13,114 --> 00:14:13,954 Speaker 2: always looking for 310 00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:18,294 Speaker 1: love, not in the sense where I join platforms or 311 00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:21,835 Speaker 1: like apps or like clubs to look for love. I 312 00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:24,804 Speaker 1: was just hoping that you would come, someone would come along. 313 00:14:24,815 --> 00:14:27,914 Speaker 1: I was looking up in that sense, then I stumbled 314 00:14:27,924 --> 00:14:28,375 Speaker 1: upon it 315 00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:30,859 Speaker 1: and they'll be like, hey, actually we make quite a 316 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:35,799 Speaker 1: good pair together. Yeah. But I've always believed in stumbling 317 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:39,390 Speaker 1: upon the, I mean, for people who go on apps, 318 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,770 Speaker 1: I feel like that's fully ok. That also 319 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:42,630 Speaker 2: sort of stumbling. 320 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:47,390 Speaker 1: No, that's true. It's like through, like, correct, correct, correct, correct. 321 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,570 Speaker 1: But it's the kind of like emotional commitment that you 322 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,710 Speaker 1: have to be ready to put yourself to. 323 00:14:52,770 --> 00:14:55,169 Speaker 2: If you go on to the app with the hopes 324 00:14:55,179 --> 00:14:59,179 Speaker 2: of finding a partner, then it's not really stumbling. But 325 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 2: I would say, like, if you meet someone, like, on 326 00:15:01,409 --> 00:15:03,380 Speaker 2: a night out or you meet someone at a party 327 00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:06,900 Speaker 2: or at a whatever it is. Right. And then you 328 00:15:06,909 --> 00:15:09,919 Speaker 2: strike up a conversation from that. That's really like, I'm 329 00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:12,409 Speaker 2: really stumbling. Right. I mean, I've never been 330 00:15:12,484 --> 00:15:15,195 Speaker 2: on apps. Have you? No, I've never been on a 331 00:15:15,234 --> 00:15:20,405 Speaker 2: first date. Should I, I've never been on a first date. Ok. 332 00:15:21,784 --> 00:15:23,474 Speaker 1: What do you mean? You've never been on a first date? 333 00:15:23,484 --> 00:15:26,094 Speaker 2: I've never been on an intentional first date. Like, let's 334 00:15:26,104 --> 00:15:27,635 Speaker 2: go on a date. Would you like to go on 335 00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:28,554 Speaker 2: a date also? 336 00:15:28,565 --> 00:15:30,744 Speaker 1: It's always like a friend, friend kind of thing. And 337 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:33,554 Speaker 1: then it blossomed is something else. J 338 00:15:36,585 --> 00:15:36,604 Speaker 2: lo 339 00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:41,119 Speaker 2: it's always been a bit more of a reverse situation, 340 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 2: I think. Yeah. Ok. 341 00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: I get it. Ok. So here's a story from a 342 00:15:45,409 --> 00:15:49,169 Speaker 1: producer PDN. She says, I truly believe I stumbled into 343 00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:51,369 Speaker 1: love when I least expected it. But I would be 344 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:53,429 Speaker 1: lying if I said I wasn't looking for it up 345 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,700 Speaker 1: to my mid twenties. I had never been on a date. 346 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,929 Speaker 1: I was and still am comfortable being alone. But then 347 00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:01,130 Speaker 1: I had a desire to form a family and have Children. 348 00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:03,659 Speaker 1: So I venture on to dating apps and started putting 349 00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: myself out there. Honestly, my goal wasn't to look for 350 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:09,039 Speaker 1: a life partner, but rather to experience dating and figure 351 00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: out what I like and what I didn't like. So 352 00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:15,390 Speaker 1: our producer basically set a due date for herself, like her, 353 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,710 Speaker 1: like a dating internship kind of thing. She was basically 354 00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:22,630 Speaker 1: manifesting it. I don't talk about manifesting. So as the 355 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,830 Speaker 1: due date approach, she deleted all the dating apps to 356 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,789 Speaker 1: shift her focus on something else. Basically, at this point, 357 00:16:28,882 --> 00:16:31,333 Speaker 1: I got a new job and the last person she 358 00:16:31,343 --> 00:16:33,032 Speaker 1: met before the due date was up. They fell in 359 00:16:33,043 --> 00:16:36,562 Speaker 1: love just like that and they were both people who 360 00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:39,192 Speaker 1: were just like dabbling and messing around with dating apps. 361 00:16:39,203 --> 00:16:41,482 Speaker 1: So I guess we could say that they both stumbled 362 00:16:41,492 --> 00:16:45,583 Speaker 1: into love during the whole no self exploration journey. That's 363 00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,882 Speaker 1: so sweet though. See, a lot of my friends get 364 00:16:47,893 --> 00:16:52,822 Speaker 1: married to dating apps actually, really actually and alarming a lot, 365 00:16:53,043 --> 00:16:55,833 Speaker 2: a lot. Yeah, I do know a lot. I like 366 00:16:55,843 --> 00:16:56,223 Speaker 2: the new 367 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,796 Speaker 2: dating apps like hinge as I've never been on it. 368 00:16:58,806 --> 00:17:01,635 Speaker 2: But obviously my single friends send me all those screenshots 369 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:04,296 Speaker 2: and stuff. It's very funny. Like, the newer dating apps 370 00:17:04,306 --> 00:17:07,416 Speaker 2: have like, prompts where you really get to understand the 371 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:11,344 Speaker 2: person before you even choose them. Choose, select them. I, 372 00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:12,446 Speaker 2: do you 373 00:17:12,455 --> 00:17:15,705 Speaker 1: saw, you saw what to select, you can buy a, 374 00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:17,326 Speaker 1: from a question. 375 00:17:17,395 --> 00:17:20,556 Speaker 2: Yeah. Interesting. I would say, like, do you have a dog? 376 00:17:20,635 --> 00:17:23,615 Speaker 2: How many dogs can I pet them? 377 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:29,238 Speaker 2: So the modern, but can I be you? Oh my God. Ok. 378 00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:29,739 Speaker 2: So like 379 00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 2: if I can pet your dog? 380 00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:38,169 Speaker 2: Ok. We're in our twenties now but we're approaching our thirties. 381 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,550 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I turned 30 this, we turn 30 382 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,380 Speaker 1: this year. Oh my God, it's 2020 383 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 2: four. 384 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:46,010 Speaker 2: Ok. They are in their thirties, 1994. I'm in my 385 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:49,579 Speaker 2: late twenties. About to enter here. You're in your thirties. 386 00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,540 Speaker 1: Where about your birth? 387 00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:55,780 Speaker 2: It's not fair. Why at 30? You can't call it thirties. 388 00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,709 Speaker 1: Ok. You see, so the 389 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:03,430 Speaker 2: is the solu, so you guys are approaching your thirties, right? 390 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:07,390 Speaker 2: I'm in my late twenties. So in your early twenties, 391 00:18:07,474 --> 00:18:11,025 Speaker 2: right? Just take it back like maybe 10 years. Uni 392 00:18:11,094 --> 00:18:14,655 Speaker 2: what do you think was good part of dating in 393 00:18:14,665 --> 00:18:15,694 Speaker 2: your early twenties? 394 00:18:15,704 --> 00:18:19,905 Speaker 1: Stress free. All you gotta do is do homework together. 395 00:18:19,944 --> 00:18:22,544 Speaker 1: I danced with him like because we are part of 396 00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:24,765 Speaker 1: a hip hop club. You do homework together. You don't 397 00:18:24,814 --> 00:18:31,444 Speaker 1: be studying together. My uni boyfriend who's happily married now. Congratulations. Congrats. 398 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,629 Speaker 2: Happy for him. They do homework together. You do home for? 399 00:18:40,569 --> 00:18:44,270 Speaker 2: That's true. That's true. That's true. It works too. I mean, yeah, 400 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,339 Speaker 2: stress free. That is why stress 401 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,810 Speaker 1: free and I feel like you don't really have to 402 00:18:48,819 --> 00:18:50,208 Speaker 1: worry about the future. No 403 00:18:50,219 --> 00:18:53,660 Speaker 2: one's pressuring you at 20 to get married and be here. 404 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,930 Speaker 2: Can I tell you something? My experience is quite 405 00:18:58,209 --> 00:19:02,739 Speaker 2: different. Why I think in my early twenties, I felt 406 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,910 Speaker 2: a little bit more pressure in dating than I do now. 407 00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:07,869 Speaker 2: So you, why 408 00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:11,670 Speaker 2: I think in your early twenties, you haven't fully learned 409 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,489 Speaker 2: that you're not on society's timeline. So you still have 410 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,329 Speaker 2: this idea because you grow up a certain idea that 411 00:19:18,339 --> 00:19:20,849 Speaker 2: you've seen this, this, this happen at this age at 412 00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:23,189 Speaker 2: this age. You have this idea that at this age, 413 00:19:23,199 --> 00:19:25,910 Speaker 2: this is what people do at this age. It's what 414 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,719 Speaker 2: people do and you haven't figured out for yourself at 415 00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:31,869 Speaker 2: that point that I don't have to be on that timeline. 416 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,420 Speaker 2: But actually why? 417 00:19:33,682 --> 00:19:36,613 Speaker 2: And who says that this has to happen at this age? 418 00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:41,912 Speaker 2: This milestone has done? Actually, I agree because I've seen 419 00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:45,873 Speaker 2: a lot of my friends at 22 having been dating 420 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:49,113 Speaker 2: for like four or five years and then around 28 421 00:19:49,402 --> 00:19:54,302 Speaker 2: they've been dating like probably seven years by now. They're like, actually, 422 00:19:54,522 --> 00:19:57,652 Speaker 2: I don't, this relationship is not that right for me anymore. 423 00:19:57,662 --> 00:19:58,833 Speaker 2: So sometimes when you're young, 424 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:00,885 Speaker 2: you don't realize just how much of the world that 425 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,406 Speaker 2: is out there. I remember when I first, when I 426 00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,135 Speaker 2: first had my first boyfriend at 16. Right. Obviously, I 427 00:20:06,145 --> 00:20:08,076 Speaker 2: told my parents about it after a while. We had 428 00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,906 Speaker 2: been dating for a few months. The first thing that 429 00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:11,936 Speaker 2: my mom said to me was, but why do you 430 00:20:11,946 --> 00:20:13,796 Speaker 2: want to date when you're so young? There's so much 431 00:20:13,806 --> 00:20:15,936 Speaker 2: of the world out there and so much more people 432 00:20:15,946 --> 00:20:18,265 Speaker 2: to meet. And at that time, I did not understand 433 00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:19,815 Speaker 2: what she meant. I was like, but I like this guy. 434 00:20:19,826 --> 00:20:22,475 Speaker 2: I just want to see him but now it's like, ok, 435 00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:24,235 Speaker 2: I understand what you mean. Right. 436 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,978 Speaker 2: There were a lot more people see and date but 437 00:20:26,989 --> 00:20:29,339 Speaker 2: it doesn't mean that you don't date when you're 16. 438 00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:32,958 Speaker 2: I will eventually find that out for myself. But as 439 00:20:32,969 --> 00:20:35,250 Speaker 2: a parent, there are some things that your kids will 440 00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:36,659 Speaker 2: not understand at the age, 441 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:40,859 Speaker 1: especially after we have seen our parents going through their phase. 442 00:20:40,869 --> 00:20:42,939 Speaker 1: Like my mom gave birth to my sister at the 443 00:20:42,949 --> 00:20:45,579 Speaker 1: age of 26. Ok. Gave birth to me at the 444 00:20:45,589 --> 00:20:46,619 Speaker 1: age of 29. 445 00:20:47,099 --> 00:20:49,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, and gave birth to my brother at the age 446 00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:51,709 Speaker 1: of 30. So by 30 years old, which is me 447 00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,099 Speaker 1: this year, she already had three 448 00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:54,839 Speaker 2: kids. She had her whole family. Yeah. 449 00:20:54,849 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: Why? My goodness. That's so early, isn't it? Which is 450 00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 1: why when I was younger my goal was to have 451 00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 1: my first kid at the age of 28. Yeah, I 452 00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:06,609 Speaker 1: guess because growing up and I'm influenced by my parents. Yeah, 453 00:21:06,619 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 1: I feel like, hey, I want a family like that 454 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:11,579 Speaker 1: as well and I think it's totally ok to put 455 00:21:11,589 --> 00:21:13,839 Speaker 1: yourself out there and experience the world. Even if it 456 00:21:13,849 --> 00:21:14,270 Speaker 1: doesn't work 457 00:21:14,446 --> 00:21:16,105 Speaker 1: for you, they just push by the time a bit. 458 00:21:16,436 --> 00:21:18,426 Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with that. Right. True. 459 00:21:18,436 --> 00:21:20,615 Speaker 2: Here's the thing, I don't know about the current generation. 460 00:21:20,625 --> 00:21:22,504 Speaker 2: But I think at that time when we were growing up, 461 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,275 Speaker 2: there was sort of like a Greg if I'm wrong. 462 00:21:25,436 --> 00:21:28,585 Speaker 2: And if this was your experience, I think there's always 463 00:21:28,595 --> 00:21:31,906 Speaker 2: been like a fairy tale idea planted in your head. 464 00:21:32,296 --> 00:21:35,364 Speaker 2: You know, there's always like, oh, you should be dating 465 00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:37,105 Speaker 2: for a long time, you know, that sort of thing. 466 00:21:37,115 --> 00:21:39,166 Speaker 2: I think it was more of like a, oh, you 467 00:21:39,176 --> 00:21:41,465 Speaker 2: will meet the right person when the right person comes along. 468 00:21:41,832 --> 00:21:44,531 Speaker 2: But they don't tell you actually sometimes how much work 469 00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:48,182 Speaker 2: it takes how much trash you sift through to find 470 00:21:48,202 --> 00:21:49,182 Speaker 2: the treasure 471 00:21:49,472 --> 00:21:53,531 Speaker 1: to be fair. Different people have different personalities at different ages. 472 00:21:53,692 --> 00:21:58,001 Speaker 1: So this Christopher guy at the age of 16, there's 473 00:21:58,011 --> 00:22:02,821 Speaker 1: no 14 for both at their age back then versus 474 00:22:02,832 --> 00:22:05,352 Speaker 1: now I believe they are two completely different people. 475 00:22:05,362 --> 00:22:07,482 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Probably. I don't know them anymore, but I do 476 00:22:07,491 --> 00:22:08,571 Speaker 2: follow them on Instagram 477 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:11,729 Speaker 1: like me back when I was 15. And me now, 478 00:22:11,739 --> 00:22:14,589 Speaker 1: I think I'm completely two different people for sure. You 479 00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,770 Speaker 2: know, when we were young, right? When you used to date. Right. 480 00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 2: And it was all about like, clean mind games and like, like, 481 00:22:20,369 --> 00:22:22,510 Speaker 2: you know why he text me that? I send it 482 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,310 Speaker 2: to my friend. Like, what does he mean by that? Da, 483 00:22:24,439 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 2: da da? I think that's, that's the fun and also 484 00:22:27,170 --> 00:22:29,229 Speaker 2: stressful part of dating when you're young is a bit 485 00:22:29,239 --> 00:22:31,469 Speaker 2: more of the emotional immaturity. It's 486 00:22:31,569 --> 00:22:34,670 Speaker 2: fun, but it's only fun then, right? Once you grow older, 487 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,109 Speaker 2: you're like, I don't have time for these games. I'm 488 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,489 Speaker 2: busy with work. I'm busy trying to have a social 489 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,540 Speaker 2: life and enough sleep and make money. I just want 490 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:45,829 Speaker 2: to find someone that is willing to grow with me. Correct. 491 00:22:45,839 --> 00:22:49,429 Speaker 1: Yeah, like for me, my first criteria, ok, after I 492 00:22:49,439 --> 00:22:52,469 Speaker 1: see you like, you must be disciplined, you must work hard, 493 00:22:52,479 --> 00:22:53,469 Speaker 1: all this kind of thing. 494 00:22:53,819 --> 00:22:56,750 Speaker 1: My first criteria must make me feel secure, ok? If 495 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,839 Speaker 1: this criteria isn't even matched, then I'll just let go 496 00:22:59,849 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: of this completely before it turns into something else or 497 00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:03,729 Speaker 1: goes deeper. I think 498 00:23:03,739 --> 00:23:06,329 Speaker 2: Hazy is a very secure person already to begin with. 499 00:23:06,339 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: I am. Yeah, she already is. So it's not that 500 00:23:08,770 --> 00:23:11,129 Speaker 2: she's asking that from the person, but she wants the 501 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:14,869 Speaker 2: person to be this back to me. Correct. And then 502 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,069 Speaker 2: I think it's also with experience that you learn, you 503 00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:20,468 Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like you think that this is 504 00:23:20,479 --> 00:23:22,219 Speaker 2: what you like or this is what you want, 505 00:23:22,619 --> 00:23:26,459 Speaker 2: but it's only through experience that you learn, OK, this 506 00:23:26,469 --> 00:23:28,469 Speaker 2: is actually what I want or, you know, maybe this 507 00:23:28,479 --> 00:23:30,670 Speaker 2: is not so important to me anymore at this point 508 00:23:30,939 --> 00:23:32,938 Speaker 2: and then you grow from there as well, right? Because 509 00:23:32,949 --> 00:23:35,770 Speaker 2: I think we've mentioned before, like love is a practice 510 00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:37,670 Speaker 2: with a lot of things in life. Like you don't 511 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,650 Speaker 2: get it right the first time. So what makes you 512 00:23:39,660 --> 00:23:41,300 Speaker 2: think that you're gonna get it? Right? This is the 513 00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:44,400 Speaker 2: first time. It's true. Yeah. So correct you, the more 514 00:23:44,410 --> 00:23:46,689 Speaker 2: people you see, the more people you date, the more 515 00:23:46,699 --> 00:23:46,969 Speaker 2: you know 516 00:23:47,045 --> 00:23:50,114 Speaker 2: what you really want in a partner. I've 517 00:23:50,125 --> 00:23:53,385 Speaker 1: always believed in this. There are quizzes online for example, 518 00:23:53,395 --> 00:23:56,625 Speaker 1: to test your love language or like to help you 519 00:23:56,635 --> 00:24:00,324 Speaker 1: clarify or understand better, what kind of a partner suits 520 00:24:00,334 --> 00:24:03,045 Speaker 1: you or you're looking for. I believe in those. 521 00:24:03,430 --> 00:24:05,719 Speaker 1: Like I feel like after the test, it helps you 522 00:24:05,729 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 1: understand yourself better and your dating life would just be 523 00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:09,270 Speaker 1: much easier. It's 524 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,719 Speaker 2: true. It's true. I think knowing how someone likes to 525 00:24:12,729 --> 00:24:15,869 Speaker 2: receive love and knowing how you can show them love. 526 00:24:15,979 --> 00:24:19,169 Speaker 2: It really makes it. Yeah, it gives you a higher 527 00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:21,119 Speaker 2: success rate. Even in the dating stage, 528 00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 2: find out their love language and then try to give 529 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 2: them love in that way. Correct. 530 00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:27,489 Speaker 1: So there's this Instagram account that you can follow, they 531 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: provide a lot of, like, dating tips advice and I 532 00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:33,500 Speaker 1: found it quite useful. It's called Hello, Love, Singapore. Hello. 533 00:24:33,510 --> 00:24:36,739 Speaker 2: Hello, love Love. Oh, that's what you say all the time. 534 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 2: But that's what I say. 535 00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:42,889 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like for singles out there, if you're 536 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,889 Speaker 1: looking to find a partner, like you just want to 537 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:48,219 Speaker 1: date around, but you're not too sure exactly how to 538 00:24:48,229 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: go about doing it. Maybe seek some advice. Look at 539 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:54,349 Speaker 1: some tips. The tip is very cute. Very bite size, 540 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:55,030 Speaker 1: easy for you to 541 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,650 Speaker 2: digest. I love that. That's the kind of information I 542 00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:00,989 Speaker 2: like to read. Not the very long one. The 543 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,969 Speaker 1: quick little and so nice and colorful. Hello. 544 00:25:03,979 --> 00:25:05,379 Speaker 2: Love. Yeah. Go and check it out. 545 00:25:05,849 --> 00:25:08,339 Speaker 2: I think there are a lot of things about dating 546 00:25:08,349 --> 00:25:11,369 Speaker 2: and navigating dating, correct that you at any age may 547 00:25:11,380 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 2: be confused about. Maybe you think, you know it all 548 00:25:13,170 --> 00:25:14,869 Speaker 2: in your twenties and then you come to your thirties, 549 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,390 Speaker 2: you're single and you're like, oh my God, what am 550 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: I doing? 551 00:25:17,810 --> 00:25:22,189 Speaker 1: Exactly how I'm feeling now. Exactly. Yeah. But I'm ok. Ok. 552 00:25:22,199 --> 00:25:25,030 Speaker 1: To wrap up this episode. How about we just quickly 553 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: talk about a dating lives a bit. 554 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,819 Speaker 1: So, come, Jimmy, you're the happiest of all the three 555 00:25:29,829 --> 00:25:32,810 Speaker 1: of us. How's your dating life been now? My 556 00:25:32,819 --> 00:25:39,300 Speaker 2: dating life is, it is becoming more stable but there 557 00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:43,540 Speaker 2: is still a foundation to be built to have a 558 00:25:43,550 --> 00:25:45,688 Speaker 2: strong relationship. Yeah, I think there's still things that we 559 00:25:45,699 --> 00:25:47,579 Speaker 2: need to learn about each other and, 560 00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:51,969 Speaker 2: and work on together and, yeah, who knows? Maybe I 561 00:25:51,979 --> 00:25:56,369 Speaker 2: don't think that couples should only go see a therapist 562 00:25:56,380 --> 00:26:00,810 Speaker 2: when there's something wrong. I think all couples can benefit 563 00:26:00,819 --> 00:26:04,449 Speaker 2: from seeing someone, especially if you intend to get married. 564 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 2: Have kids. You don't want to pass generational trauma down 565 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:08,489 Speaker 2: and everybody has trauma. 566 00:26:08,810 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. That's very good advice. So, yeah, we are 567 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:13,770 Speaker 2: working on having the most healthy relationship possible. But 568 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 1: for the record, I feel like Jermaine over the past 569 00:26:16,530 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: year you have glowed up like you have been so happy. Oh, 570 00:26:20,849 --> 00:26:21,290 Speaker 1: look at it. 571 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,639 Speaker 1: She's been happy and I'm happy for 572 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:30,709 Speaker 2: you. It's healthy and secure. It's the year. She's been 573 00:26:30,719 --> 00:26:37,829 Speaker 2: least crazy. Don't you think so? It's true. It's true. 574 00:26:37,994 --> 00:26:40,125 Speaker 2: True. I feel like, yeah, I'm getting into a new 575 00:26:40,135 --> 00:26:44,155 Speaker 2: era of things don't trigger as much anymore because it 576 00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:45,104 Speaker 2: don't matter anymore. 577 00:26:45,114 --> 00:26:46,784 Speaker 1: Correct. Ok. Your turn. 578 00:26:46,795 --> 00:26:52,625 Speaker 2: You. I am sorry. The question is, how's your dating life? Exciting. 579 00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:56,250 Speaker 2: I second that. 580 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,910 Speaker 2: Ok. The goal here is to understand myself and to 581 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,469 Speaker 2: be a better version of myself every day. And I 582 00:27:04,479 --> 00:27:08,629 Speaker 2: feel like anyone who comes in. I see it as 583 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,599 Speaker 2: in this part of my life. They dare to teach 584 00:27:10,609 --> 00:27:15,079 Speaker 2: me something. Oh, well, the situation is that teach me something. 585 00:27:15,089 --> 00:27:19,839 Speaker 2: We stop pushing people away. Yes. Oh, I love that. 586 00:27:19,849 --> 00:27:21,959 Speaker 2: I can feel that too. I feel like your heart 587 00:27:21,969 --> 00:27:25,479 Speaker 2: is more open your heart is more ready and you, 588 00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:26,452 Speaker 2: you are willing. 589 00:27:27,612 --> 00:27:29,602 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm happy for you. Proud of 590 00:27:29,612 --> 00:27:36,202 Speaker 2: you grow so uncomfortable guys. I tell you, but you'll 591 00:27:36,212 --> 00:27:37,491 Speaker 2: be all the more better for it. 592 00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:40,432 Speaker 1: Yes. Yes. Ok. My dating life, this 593 00:27:40,442 --> 00:27:43,802 Speaker 2: guy that you ghosted five days ago. Is it something serious? 594 00:27:43,811 --> 00:27:44,141 Speaker 2: Is it? 595 00:27:44,852 --> 00:27:47,421 Speaker 1: He reached out like after what eight years of us 596 00:27:47,432 --> 00:27:51,380 Speaker 1: graduating from uni OK, your friends back in 597 00:27:51,391 --> 00:27:53,342 Speaker 2: UNI he probably heard that you 598 00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:57,433 Speaker 2: single. He could sniff it. I tell you single. Did 599 00:27:57,443 --> 00:28:01,562 Speaker 2: this happen in December? It did Comic Moon. What 600 00:28:01,583 --> 00:28:02,364 Speaker 1: is that? 601 00:28:02,374 --> 00:28:05,663 Speaker 2: Even? I promise you. Oh my gosh, let me tell 602 00:28:05,673 --> 00:28:09,484 Speaker 2: you right. I go on and on about these things. No, please. 603 00:28:09,713 --> 00:28:13,463 Speaker 2: And then I mentioned in passing to two friends apparently 604 00:28:13,473 --> 00:28:16,654 Speaker 2: in December which I forgot about. I was like, oh, 605 00:28:16,663 --> 00:28:19,443 Speaker 2: you know, it's a time where exes will come back. 606 00:28:19,453 --> 00:28:21,104 Speaker 2: It's a time where people from your pass 607 00:28:21,286 --> 00:28:24,446 Speaker 2: come back yesterday. They came to me. No, 608 00:28:24,455 --> 00:28:25,594 Speaker 1: no, no, no, no, no, no. The friends, 609 00:28:27,135 --> 00:28:30,015 Speaker 2: my friends, my friends and they were like, did you 610 00:28:30,026 --> 00:28:32,026 Speaker 2: see this? I said yes. And they were like, oh 611 00:28:32,036 --> 00:28:35,344 Speaker 2: my God, it's like things that they never imagined two 612 00:28:35,355 --> 00:28:37,875 Speaker 2: weeks in a row bumping into an ex like back 613 00:28:37,885 --> 00:28:41,345 Speaker 2: to back people they haven't seen years or like just 614 00:28:41,605 --> 00:28:43,365 Speaker 2: a is appearing out of nowhere and I was like, 615 00:28:43,375 --> 00:28:44,556 Speaker 2: you see but 616 00:28:44,666 --> 00:28:49,026 Speaker 1: sorry, what, what movie? Ok. 617 00:28:49,369 --> 00:28:54,550 Speaker 1: Yeah. Ex schoolmate. But honestly I don't really feel too 618 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:55,989 Speaker 1: much about it. Oh, my God. I hope he's not 619 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,969 Speaker 1: listening to this. Oh, God. But my dating life is 620 00:28:59,979 --> 00:29:02,369 Speaker 1: non existent for now. But that's ok because like Zora, 621 00:29:02,469 --> 00:29:04,630 Speaker 1: I feel like I should work on myself as be 622 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:05,369 Speaker 1: open 623 00:29:05,859 --> 00:29:06,170 Speaker 2: to the 624 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: possibility. I always am. I always am. I want to 625 00:29:08,770 --> 00:29:12,530 Speaker 1: work hard on my career and in my journey, hopefully 626 00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:14,369 Speaker 1: meet someone like minded 627 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,900 Speaker 1: who was to grow with me. Yeah, I think that 628 00:29:16,910 --> 00:29:18,619 Speaker 1: would be very, very ideal for me. 629 00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 2: I do think that things will happen right when they 630 00:29:22,050 --> 00:29:24,939 Speaker 2: are supposed to happen. Yes. But at the same time, 631 00:29:24,949 --> 00:29:27,609 Speaker 2: I think a lot of people also because people tell 632 00:29:27,619 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 2: them that you don't have to go looking for it. 633 00:29:30,810 --> 00:29:32,699 Speaker 2: You know, it will come to you at the right time. 634 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:36,020 Speaker 2: That does not mean that they will fall into your lap. No. 635 00:29:36,030 --> 00:29:39,219 Speaker 2: If you are looking to date, for example, if you 636 00:29:39,229 --> 00:29:39,709 Speaker 2: do want 637 00:29:39,854 --> 00:29:43,145 Speaker 2: to find this connection with someone or just be out there, 638 00:29:43,155 --> 00:29:46,074 Speaker 2: put yourself out there, you also gonna do a yourself, 639 00:29:46,704 --> 00:29:50,084 Speaker 2: you gotta put yourself out there. Can't be like, I mean, it's, 640 00:29:50,094 --> 00:29:54,525 Speaker 2: it's about actively seizing that opportunity. You can, right? Like 641 00:29:54,535 --> 00:29:56,214 Speaker 2: let's say if a really cute guy asked you out, 642 00:29:56,224 --> 00:29:57,744 Speaker 2: but you're like, I'm focused on work right now. I 643 00:29:57,755 --> 00:29:59,614 Speaker 2: don't want to do it. So I say no, then 644 00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:02,344 Speaker 2: you're never gonna, you know, putting yourself in that 645 00:30:02,354 --> 00:30:04,094 Speaker 1: opportunity. OK. Point not J 646 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:09,089 Speaker 2: for three months straight every night you spend at home 647 00:30:09,239 --> 00:30:10,180 Speaker 2: from where 648 00:30:10,430 --> 00:30:11,689 Speaker 1: true. Point out that 649 00:30:13,650 --> 00:30:16,949 Speaker 2: no. But it's true. It's true. Sometimes you don't go out, 650 00:30:16,959 --> 00:30:19,489 Speaker 2: sometimes say yes to a friend gathering every once in 651 00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:22,829 Speaker 2: a while, you never know what might happen. The more 652 00:30:22,839 --> 00:30:26,209 Speaker 2: chances you give yourself the more opportunity to perhaps meet 653 00:30:26,219 --> 00:30:29,199 Speaker 2: someone like a said, that may teach you something in 654 00:30:29,209 --> 00:30:32,079 Speaker 2: this season of your life or it may be your 655 00:30:32,089 --> 00:30:34,959 Speaker 2: step to finding someone even more compatible for you. Maybe 656 00:30:34,969 --> 00:30:40,089 Speaker 2: their friend, not them, but their stories that are. 657 00:30:40,245 --> 00:30:42,206 Speaker 2: But I think one thing to keep in mind is 658 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:46,186 Speaker 2: that dating doesn't necessarily have to be like sequential. It 659 00:30:46,196 --> 00:30:48,745 Speaker 2: doesn't have to be like, oh, I have to have 660 00:30:48,755 --> 00:30:51,206 Speaker 2: ticked certain boxes in my life before I can start 661 00:30:51,215 --> 00:30:53,436 Speaker 2: dating or before I can start opening my heart. Like, 662 00:30:53,446 --> 00:30:56,816 Speaker 2: like let's say I would be done with school first. Yes, 663 00:30:56,826 --> 00:30:59,526 Speaker 2: I'll graduate first before I even start dating because I 664 00:30:59,536 --> 00:31:02,005 Speaker 2: want to focus on school. Then after you graduate, you're like, 665 00:31:02,186 --> 00:31:03,885 Speaker 2: but I just started a new job. I will give 666 00:31:03,895 --> 00:31:06,725 Speaker 2: myself one year in this job before I start even seriously. 667 00:31:06,735 --> 00:31:06,854 Speaker 2: They 668 00:31:07,011 --> 00:31:09,102 Speaker 2: because I don't want to get distracted and after that, 669 00:31:09,112 --> 00:31:09,881 Speaker 2: you're chasing 670 00:31:09,891 --> 00:31:12,962 Speaker 1: a promotion, chasing a pay raise. There will be never 671 00:31:12,972 --> 00:31:14,722 Speaker 1: ending goals to chase. I 672 00:31:14,732 --> 00:31:17,031 Speaker 2: don't know if you've heard this before, but something I 673 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:20,041 Speaker 2: hear this a lot from friends are like, I should 674 00:31:20,052 --> 00:31:23,501 Speaker 2: have dated younger I should have started younger because once 675 00:31:23,511 --> 00:31:26,112 Speaker 2: you enter the workforce, the thing that I always hear 676 00:31:26,121 --> 00:31:29,322 Speaker 2: is where am I gonna meet people now? Correct. 677 00:31:29,332 --> 00:31:33,442 Speaker 1: And where you have the time. Right. So, for me, actually, 678 00:31:34,219 --> 00:31:37,380 Speaker 1: ok, maybe it's a bit pressurizing because this year I'm 679 00:31:37,390 --> 00:31:39,670 Speaker 1: 30 years old. Right. And I'm someone who wants to 680 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: have a family and of course, I will be worried 681 00:31:42,290 --> 00:31:45,199 Speaker 1: about my biological clock. Right. So, of course, I guess 682 00:31:45,449 --> 00:31:48,849 Speaker 1: there will be cons dating in my thirties. The pool 683 00:31:48,859 --> 00:31:49,089 Speaker 1: have 684 00:31:49,180 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 2: taken that. 685 00:31:50,290 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 1: Actually, it's true. It's true. The pool is smaller. It's true. 686 00:31:53,650 --> 00:31:56,380 Speaker 1: I want to look out for my ideal partner. Right. 687 00:31:56,390 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: But now I have like less people 688 00:31:57,665 --> 00:32:00,785 Speaker 1: choose from, but that does not mean that you should settle. Correct. 689 00:32:00,795 --> 00:32:02,805 Speaker 1: That does not mean that you should settle, I think 690 00:32:02,814 --> 00:32:04,484 Speaker 1: all in its right time and place. 691 00:32:04,494 --> 00:32:08,895 Speaker 2: So what we're saying is that maybe just try, you 692 00:32:08,905 --> 00:32:11,875 Speaker 2: never know the earlier is like the more years you 693 00:32:11,885 --> 00:32:15,165 Speaker 2: give yourself the more chances you have. Right. It's statistics 694 00:32:15,175 --> 00:32:16,505 Speaker 2: is like probability. Yeah. 695 00:32:16,515 --> 00:32:19,165 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And I just want to end this with 696 00:32:19,175 --> 00:32:21,084 Speaker 1: have realistic expectations. 697 00:32:21,229 --> 00:32:23,579 Speaker 1: Do I expect your partner to look like who name 698 00:32:23,589 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: me a 699 00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:27,189 Speaker 2: gosling? Ok. Ok. Why cannot I deserve the best? Nothing 700 00:32:27,199 --> 00:32:29,349 Speaker 2: but the best and only the best for myself? Ok. 701 00:32:29,359 --> 00:32:32,369 Speaker 2: But you need to be realistic and have realistic expectations 702 00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:36,849 Speaker 2: as well. Right. Yes, it's true. But one thing I 703 00:32:36,859 --> 00:32:39,060 Speaker 2: know dating can help with and I've seen it help 704 00:32:39,069 --> 00:32:43,160 Speaker 2: a lot of friends with is building self-confidence. Yeah. Like, 705 00:32:43,170 --> 00:32:44,719 Speaker 2: I've seen people come out of a breaker 706 00:32:44,795 --> 00:32:49,285 Speaker 2: and they're absolutely shattered. The guy has broken, stamped, crush 707 00:32:49,295 --> 00:32:53,255 Speaker 2: their heart inside out. And then she started dating again. 708 00:32:53,265 --> 00:32:56,104 Speaker 2: She started seeing guys again on apps and things like 709 00:32:56,114 --> 00:32:58,334 Speaker 2: that and you can see her start to have her 710 00:32:58,344 --> 00:33:02,064 Speaker 2: life come back into her body, lives in herself. She 711 00:33:02,074 --> 00:33:05,685 Speaker 2: believes she's attractive, she believes that she becomes more confident 712 00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:08,255 Speaker 2: so dating can be good too. 713 00:33:08,540 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true. And I think sometimes, especially when we've settled, 714 00:33:13,839 --> 00:33:17,040 Speaker 2: sometimes you're trying to figure out why that happened, why 715 00:33:17,050 --> 00:33:19,739 Speaker 2: you allowed someone to do that to you etc and 716 00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 2: then I think when you date and with every person 717 00:33:22,410 --> 00:33:24,939 Speaker 2: that you date, you realize and you get to see 718 00:33:25,050 --> 00:33:28,430 Speaker 2: like how much people out there are willing to offer you, 719 00:33:28,949 --> 00:33:32,530 Speaker 2: you know, and that also it becomes a building block 720 00:33:32,540 --> 00:33:34,060 Speaker 2: for you on like, ok, 721 00:33:34,150 --> 00:33:36,770 Speaker 2: so this is what I can expect. This is what 722 00:33:36,780 --> 00:33:39,780 Speaker 2: I will not short change myself for and like, hey, 723 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,949 Speaker 2: like they say, right? If what you're asking for, if 724 00:33:42,959 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 2: you're asking for something and that person tells you what 725 00:33:45,050 --> 00:33:47,869 Speaker 2: you're asking for is too much what someone won't do 726 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:52,010 Speaker 2: for you, someone else will. Yeah. If he wanted to, 727 00:33:52,020 --> 00:33:55,329 Speaker 2: he would not, not always, not always. But I think 728 00:33:55,349 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 2: there is trying to say that there may be more 729 00:33:57,770 --> 00:33:59,729 Speaker 2: important attributes to look out 730 00:33:59,810 --> 00:34:03,469 Speaker 2: for then just the surface level ones. Right. And there's 731 00:34:03,479 --> 00:34:05,780 Speaker 2: never going to be a right time for you to date, 732 00:34:05,790 --> 00:34:08,149 Speaker 2: like you may think. Oh, but I'm so busy next 733 00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:09,899 Speaker 2: few months I have a project. Like, I don't want 734 00:34:09,909 --> 00:34:11,879 Speaker 2: to start dating now. There's never gonna be a right 735 00:34:11,889 --> 00:34:15,459 Speaker 2: time to date. My friends. Six year old grandmother has 736 00:34:15,469 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 2: a boyfriend, 60 737 00:34:17,050 --> 00:34:21,260 Speaker 1: year old, 60 years old mother, a grand. What a boyfriend? 738 00:34:22,729 --> 00:34:23,649 Speaker 1: Name me? I 739 00:34:23,659 --> 00:34:24,888 Speaker 2: don't know. I asked. 740 00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:30,189 Speaker 2: That's so cute point is there's never a right time. 741 00:34:30,580 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 2: It's all about seizing the opportunity when you can, right? 742 00:34:34,010 --> 00:34:37,779 Speaker 2: Putting yourself out there learning more about yourself and growing 743 00:34:37,790 --> 00:34:42,989 Speaker 2: together have realistic expectations and clear goal. Make your intentions 744 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,750 Speaker 2: clear and known manifest. If 745 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,049 Speaker 1: anything is holding you back, maybe try to let it go, 746 00:34:48,209 --> 00:34:50,330 Speaker 1: just step out, experience the 747 00:34:50,405 --> 00:34:52,695 Speaker 1: society and have fun. I believe that in the process 748 00:34:52,705 --> 00:34:54,174 Speaker 1: you should definitely have fun. I 749 00:34:54,185 --> 00:34:56,304 Speaker 2: think an open mind and an open 750 00:34:56,314 --> 00:35:02,384 Speaker 1: heart. Yes. Ok. If you are a young eligible likes Azura, 751 00:35:02,395 --> 00:35:03,034 Speaker 1: can you give us ad 752 00:35:03,594 --> 00:35:06,774 Speaker 2: and please DM us and it's clarity. Do on Instagram 753 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:12,033 Speaker 2: with your resume and CV. Yeah. Make sure at least 754 00:35:12,044 --> 00:35:12,884 Speaker 2: your style. 755 00:35:15,129 --> 00:35:15,949 Speaker 2: Wow. 756 00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:22,219 Speaker 2: OK. Yes, that's right. And you can listen to us 757 00:35:22,229 --> 00:35:26,419 Speaker 2: on Spotify, we listen Apple podcast, turn on the notifications 758 00:35:26,429 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 2: and check us out on youtube as well and don't 759 00:35:28,530 --> 00:35:30,959 Speaker 2: forget to go and check out Hello Love Singapore on 760 00:35:30,969 --> 00:35:33,879 Speaker 2: Instagram for more. Dating tips you never know, you know 761 00:35:33,889 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 2: no harm right. No 762 00:35:34,810 --> 00:35:36,678 Speaker 1: harm. Alright we'll see you next time. Bye 763 00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:37,929 Speaker 1: see.