WEBVTT - How to Deal with EXISTENTIAL CRISIS? (Our Career & Relationships Struggles) 0:00:00.379 --> 0:00:03.880 Welcome to another episode of Men. Explain. I'm Sonia. And 0:00:03.890 --> 0:00:06.320 today joining me to chat about something that I'm very 0:00:06.329 --> 0:00:09.569 curious about because we are constantly moving into different stages 0:00:09.579 --> 0:00:10.159 of life. 0:00:18.530 --> 0:00:21.569 He's gonna help us better understand how to deal with 0:00:21.579 --> 0:00:23.799 life crisis. And I feel like I'm talking to a 0:00:23.809 --> 0:00:26.649 therapist right now. Please welcome Paul Foster. 0:00:27.409 --> 0:00:30.239 So thank you for having me. Well, I, OK, I 0:00:30.250 --> 0:00:32.369 gotta put my therapist hat on today. Is that right? 0:00:32.380 --> 0:00:32.900 I feel. 0:00:32.918 --> 0:00:35.270 So you've got, you've got a lot of experience. I 0:00:35.279 --> 0:00:38.049 think that's what it is, right? And Paul, please let 0:00:38.060 --> 0:00:41.290 our listeners and viewers know what you're up to recently 0:00:41.299 --> 0:00:45.168 because you need no introduction, you're everywhere you act, you host, 0:00:45.180 --> 0:00:48.200 you do crazy adventurous things. So maybe you can fill 0:00:48.209 --> 0:00:48.959 them in on what you've 0:00:48.970 --> 0:00:51.349 been up to. Ok. Well, I guess the most recent 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:55.849 project is Kamoi, which we took almost 0:00:55.924 --> 0:00:59.294 two years to shoot. Yeah, it was like, I was 0:00:59.305 --> 0:01:01.724 serving national service again. That was a pretty 0:01:01.735 --> 0:01:02.845 adventurous one. It was 0:01:02.854 --> 0:01:04.294 great. It was great. I was trying to pull you 0:01:04.305 --> 0:01:06.805 in there. One of my, one of my guests, for 0:01:06.815 --> 0:01:07.845 one of my episodes I 0:01:07.855 --> 0:01:10.764 don't think I'll ever survive. Not even a single, be 0:01:10.775 --> 0:01:11.625 surprised. 0:01:13.264 --> 0:01:15.684 I think you have too much faith in me. Truly, 0:01:15.694 --> 0:01:17.753 too much faith in me. But of course, I haven't 0:01:17.764 --> 0:01:20.824 seen you in a while. Yeah. And how has life 0:01:20.834 --> 0:01:21.735 been for you? Just in 0:01:21.745 --> 0:01:24.705 general? I'm always the optimist. I'm always the, 0:01:25.610 --> 0:01:28.949 the glass is half full, rather than half empty. So, 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:30.629 for me, life is good. I think 0:01:30.639 --> 0:01:33.190 that's what we love about you. Because every single time 0:01:33.199 --> 0:01:36.800 I've met you in any occasion, you've been like a 0:01:36.809 --> 0:01:40.169 ball of energy. You're always fun. You're always laughing and smiling. 0:01:40.239 --> 0:01:42.160 But of course, we also have our own moments where 0:01:42.169 --> 0:01:45.110 we reflect about life and we think and we worry 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:47.930 and overthink sometimes. Absolutely. In fact, the funny thing was 0:01:47.940 --> 0:01:50.110 the last time I filmed with you was for Let's 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:52.379 talk about health season one. 0:01:53.190 --> 0:01:55.650 Let's go back there for a little bit. Ok. So 0:01:55.660 --> 0:01:58.480 the episode that we did was actually about the heart 0:01:59.029 --> 0:02:01.290 and you were sharing with me a very personal story 0:02:01.300 --> 0:02:06.730 which then became public information about your own incident and 0:02:06.739 --> 0:02:09.899 your own brushes with health scares. Again. 0:02:09.910 --> 0:02:12.360 Ironically, I was invited onto the show with you guys 0:02:12.369 --> 0:02:14.970 to talk about heart health. But I had happened to 0:02:14.979 --> 0:02:19.609 go through a few kind of early health prescreening prior 0:02:19.619 --> 0:02:21.210 to the to the filming. 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:25.380 So I did find out obviously that I had some 0:02:25.389 --> 0:02:28.539 blockages in my arteries. We were in the process of 0:02:28.550 --> 0:02:32.020 dealing with that. Although at that point, the cardiologist was like, no, 0:02:32.029 --> 0:02:35.750 it's nothing we have to really worry about yet because 0:02:35.758 --> 0:02:37.830 we need to get your cholesterol down. The main problem 0:02:37.839 --> 0:02:39.859 is cholesterol which is genetic and 0:02:39.869 --> 0:02:41.690 you in your late thirties, right. At that 0:02:41.979 --> 0:02:45.389 point, my early forties. So that when I was 40 0:02:46.529 --> 0:02:47.759 I thought like 39 or 0:02:47.770 --> 0:02:51.240 something, 41 going to 42. I mean, long story short, 0:02:51.779 --> 0:02:53.660 I had to do my invasive angiogram. I had to 0:02:53.669 --> 0:02:57.770 put four stents in two balloons and get my cholesterol 0:02:57.779 --> 0:03:02.660 down in order to, to really resolve this issue. Now 0:03:02.869 --> 0:03:04.600 that I'm younger, healthier 0:03:06.070 --> 0:03:08.919 and that can deal with the recovery now rather than 0:03:08.929 --> 0:03:12.109 doing it post heart attack or when I'm older and 0:03:12.119 --> 0:03:14.309 it takes longer to recover. So, 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:17.389 yeah, I mean, I did see your stories and you 0:03:17.399 --> 0:03:20.869 did a very detailed breakdown on what happened. We're very 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:22.279 glad you're all good now and 0:03:22.589 --> 0:03:26.369 I'm sure getting back on track 100% slowly. But it 0:03:26.380 --> 0:03:29.820 also makes you think and wonder the kind of problems 0:03:29.830 --> 0:03:32.190 that you deal with in the different phases of your life. 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.190 I mean, now that you're in your early forties, you 0:03:34.199 --> 0:03:38.360 look back sometimes, I'm sure at your thirties and your twenties, 0:03:38.899 --> 0:03:40.580 the problems are all very different. 0:03:40.589 --> 0:03:43.669 Right. Absolutely. And you know, when we're kids, right, when 0:03:43.679 --> 0:03:45.500 we're in school, you worry 0:03:45.809 --> 0:03:47.589 about what do you worry about your kids? 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.580 Small stuff now that we're older, but when we were 0:03:51.589 --> 0:03:55.460 a kid, they were massive because problems then I know 0:03:55.759 --> 0:03:59.610 you were mediocre and that's why it's so cliche. You 0:03:59.619 --> 0:04:02.380 always see your parents always telling you like, don't worry, 0:04:02.389 --> 0:04:05.649 it's ok. You know, because as a kid you don't 0:04:05.660 --> 0:04:07.300 have to worry about much. To be honest. I 0:04:07.839 --> 0:04:11.449 honestly, I'm ashamed to admit this. But when I was 0:04:11.460 --> 0:04:15.229 in secondary school I wasn't the most academically inclined. Ok? 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.250 I only bucked up like in sector three or something. 0:04:17.569 --> 0:04:20.479 And every time I get back a really bad result, 0:04:20.799 --> 0:04:25.157 I will number one, this is very bad example. But 0:04:25.169 --> 0:04:26.968 back then you always think like, oh my God, I 0:04:26.979 --> 0:04:29.818 could kill myself like I could really. But back then 0:04:29.829 --> 0:04:31.299 when we were experiencing it, 0:04:31.589 --> 0:04:33.349 it almost seems the end of the world, 0:04:33.809 --> 0:04:39.019 it's relative. Our problems in life are relative to what 0:04:39.029 --> 0:04:41.260 phase we are in our life, of course, right? How 0:04:41.269 --> 0:04:45.729 we are living, what's our support network? Like general stuff? 0:04:45.738 --> 0:04:47.359 So like I said as a kid, actually, your parents 0:04:47.369 --> 0:04:49.380 did most of the worrying for you, right? They took 0:04:49.390 --> 0:04:51.709 care of everything you had nothing to really worry about 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:52.089 except like 0:04:52.312 --> 0:04:54.733 passing school, which is also why this way when you 0:04:56.803 --> 0:04:59.202 literally the end of the world. Oh my goodness. If 0:04:59.213 --> 0:05:02.351 I fail this, I cannot go to uni I can't 0:05:02.363 --> 0:05:05.162 get a good degree, I can't get, it can get 0:05:05.173 --> 0:05:06.791 a good job. No career. Oh my God. And you're 0:05:06.803 --> 0:05:09.912 already thinking over 30 years ahead when actually it's 0:05:09.923 --> 0:05:12.311 OK. Yeah, but of course you move in into your 0:05:12.322 --> 0:05:12.662 twin 0:05:12.996 --> 0:05:14.976 and then things start to evolve a little bit. Right. 0:05:15.395 --> 0:05:17.436 So I think for most of our audience watching this 0:05:17.446 --> 0:05:19.265 right now, you may be in different phases of life. 0:05:19.276 --> 0:05:21.786 I don't know, we get comments coming through and we 0:05:21.795 --> 0:05:24.065 understand that you go through different things sometimes. So in 0:05:24.075 --> 0:05:26.946 your twenties, take us through. What were you worrying about? 0:05:26.955 --> 0:05:29.455 I want to know Paul Foster, by the way, was 0:05:29.466 --> 0:05:31.865 a crazy party guy. I used to see him all 0:05:31.876 --> 0:05:33.265 the time out and about, 0:05:33.540 --> 0:05:36.078 I was, I was, I still can be but I'm 0:05:36.089 --> 0:05:40.380 very selective now. Wow. Twenties. So what was twenties? Twenties 0:05:40.390 --> 0:05:48.178 was just finishing national service going into university trying to 0:05:48.190 --> 0:05:52.700 get my uni degree and then deciding what career am 0:05:52.709 --> 0:05:54.559 I going to get into? What am I going to do? 0:05:54.570 --> 0:05:58.559 And then coming back to Singapore and life for me 0:05:58.570 --> 0:05:59.609 kind of 0:06:02.140 --> 0:06:05.029 played my hand early, right? With the passing of my 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.829 father when I was younger. So that was 1999 I 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:14.049 was 18 trying to graduate high school. So at one 0:06:14.059 --> 0:06:18.880 phase in my life during high school, it's exams to 0:06:18.890 --> 0:06:23.450 pass my A levels. It's dealing with my father being 0:06:23.459 --> 0:06:25.279 sick and his eventual passing, 0:06:25.988 --> 0:06:30.268 moving house and then preparing to go to national service. 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:35.010 That's so much five changes at 18 years old. So 0:06:35.019 --> 0:06:38.250 for me, I grew up overnight, I grew up. You 0:06:38.260 --> 0:06:41.130 had to, instantly, I had no choice. I had no choice. 0:06:41.140 --> 0:06:43.570 I had to be there for my mom and my family. 0:06:44.049 --> 0:06:47.500 But I also had to make sure I pass my, 0:06:47.510 --> 0:06:50.329 my exams or else I couldn't get into uni I 0:06:50.339 --> 0:06:55.140 could write. That was my fear. That's right. So, in 0:06:55.149 --> 0:06:59.149 a way, it's again, ironic, I had no choice. Just 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.339 deal with it and just do it, push through now, 0:07:01.809 --> 0:07:04.929 you know, hopefully everything will come good as it goes. 0:07:04.940 --> 0:07:05.380 So 0:07:07.928 --> 0:07:10.000 I always look for the blessings. I always look for 0:07:10.010 --> 0:07:11.149 the silver linings. 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:14.260 But maybe that's why you have developed this mindset. 0:07:14.269 --> 0:07:17.459 I mean, everyone always ask me like, what would you 0:07:17.470 --> 0:07:20.140 change or would you change anything in life or what 0:07:20.149 --> 0:07:23.059 would happen? That's a tough question because it's like if 0:07:23.070 --> 0:07:25.190 it makes you the person you are, would you really 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.510 change anything? But then if I was like, of course, 0:07:27.519 --> 0:07:29.720 I wouldn't have one of my father to pass away 0:07:29.730 --> 0:07:32.179 so early. So I had more time with him and 0:07:32.190 --> 0:07:33.600 to learn from him and to, 0:07:33.950 --> 0:07:36.480 to live with him, would I also be the same 0:07:36.489 --> 0:07:40.380 person I am today if that was the case. So 0:07:40.390 --> 0:07:44.859 it's a very tough debate in that sense because I 0:07:44.869 --> 0:07:49.739 think throughout life. So by the way, also throughout life, 0:07:49.750 --> 0:07:51.220 there will always be a crisis. 0:07:52.230 --> 0:07:55.929 It doesn't matter whether it's early in the middle or 0:07:55.940 --> 0:07:59.299 at the end, there's always going to be, it's gonna 0:07:59.350 --> 0:08:01.859 be stuff to deal with it, how you deal with it, 0:08:02.059 --> 0:08:06.470 which is the most important thing. So I guess having 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.420 said that navigating through the twenties, 0:08:09.570 --> 0:08:12.380 I was kind of ok already because I already dealt 0:08:12.390 --> 0:08:12.920 with a lot 0:08:13.450 --> 0:08:15.760 early. And don't mind me asking this. Did your friends 0:08:15.769 --> 0:08:18.489 understand or did they not quite get it at 0:08:18.500 --> 0:08:23.299 all? Yes and no, actually, yes and no. Again, great question. It, 0:08:23.989 --> 0:08:25.049 it was kind of like 0:08:26.230 --> 0:08:29.190 Paul gets it right because he's already been there and 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:32.929 done that. So, for example, I think out of my, 0:08:32.940 --> 0:08:37.039 my friend group, I was the only the second friend 0:08:37.049 --> 0:08:40.330 that had lost a parent early. I had one friend 0:08:40.570 --> 0:08:41.530 earlier than me. 0:08:42.250 --> 0:08:42.909 So 0:08:43.710 --> 0:08:46.760 in a way as life has gone on, I've become 0:08:46.770 --> 0:08:49.868 that person that when a parent does pass away, yes, 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.109 people come to me or people ask me to talk 0:08:52.119 --> 0:08:56.859 to another friend, everyone deals with everything differently. But the 0:08:56.869 --> 0:08:58.869 moment someone can come to you and talk to you 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.549 from real life experience, personal experience, 0:09:02.650 --> 0:09:07.449 they have to and listen. Right. OK. Yeah. He, he 0:09:07.460 --> 0:09:10.530 knows what he's talking about, you know, and I get 0:09:10.539 --> 0:09:12.679 it when other friends are trying to help. But for me, 0:09:12.690 --> 0:09:16.478 I think I became that person, that counselor therapist in 0:09:16.500 --> 0:09:19.409 a way, some in your group of friends, right? And 0:09:19.419 --> 0:09:22.719 that spilled across every sphere of life. So I think 0:09:22.729 --> 0:09:26.919 friends did get it. I think I became that really 0:09:26.929 --> 0:09:30.559 grounded friend, that person that would, 0:09:30.929 --> 0:09:35.709 you know, be able to be the light and the dark, 0:09:35.719 --> 0:09:37.650 the black and the white. I was very in the 0:09:37.659 --> 0:09:41.909 middle and able to manage both sides and everything. So 0:09:41.919 --> 0:09:45.109 the thing is having experienced all that at such an 0:09:45.119 --> 0:09:48.728 early age, did your entire phase of your twenties? Did 0:09:48.739 --> 0:09:51.719 you see yourself as someone who could enjoy life a 0:09:51.729 --> 0:09:55.789 lot more or you would enjoy the smaller things in life? 0:09:56.164 --> 0:09:56.914 Oh, I like 0:09:56.924 --> 0:09:58.734 that question too. You know what I mean? I think 0:09:58.744 --> 0:10:00.875 I give you the, the thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 0:10:01.695 --> 0:10:04.684 I'm not qualified. I have my own 0:10:04.695 --> 0:10:08.994 problems but we all do, we all do, we all do. No, 0:10:09.005 --> 0:10:12.655 I still think I enjoyed life and I think you 0:10:12.664 --> 0:10:14.734 kind of hit on the head. Exactly. I think I 0:10:14.744 --> 0:10:17.854 enjoyed it even more because I knew how fragile it was. 0:10:18.034 --> 0:10:21.684 I knew that I knew that something could disappear. Not 0:10:21.695 --> 0:10:24.554 just tomorrow. Like today, I 0:10:25.010 --> 0:10:28.369 again, look for all the silver linings and the positives 0:10:28.380 --> 0:10:31.469 and the goods. And I use that as my, as 0:10:31.479 --> 0:10:36.909 my compass to go out and enjoy things and, and again, 0:10:36.919 --> 0:10:37.929 embrace life. 0:10:37.940 --> 0:10:39.969 Paul. Thank you so much for opening up so early 0:10:39.979 --> 0:10:42.679 on in the podcast. I was not expecting that, but 0:10:42.690 --> 0:10:44.989 thank you for digging deep and sharing such a personal 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:47.500 story because when I look back at my twenties, suddenly 0:10:47.510 --> 0:10:48.689 everything seems so 0:10:49.570 --> 0:10:51.199 redundant to some 0:10:51.210 --> 0:10:54.690 extent. There's never a comparison. Of course, of course, we're 0:10:54.700 --> 0:10:57.369 all different. We all live different lives. But I would 0:10:57.380 --> 0:10:59.799 say on a life journey, we're trying to find out 0:10:59.890 --> 0:11:02.760 who we are, right. We're trying to find out ourselves. 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.840 It happens at different times. So 0:11:06.159 --> 0:11:07.890 actually, it could constantly happen as well. 0:11:08.330 --> 0:11:12.010 We are evolving, right? We're growing, we're learning, but some 0:11:12.020 --> 0:11:15.390 people find our core cells early on, right? Some in 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.000 the middle, some at the end and unfortunately, some 0:11:18.669 --> 0:11:22.390 never really find themselves, but maybe because they're constantly evolving 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:25.159 and growing. So my question to you was beside you 0:11:25.169 --> 0:11:28.000 thinking your twenties was very redundant now compared to me. 0:11:28.109 --> 0:11:32.059 But how was your twenties? And do you think you 0:11:32.070 --> 0:11:33.640 have found yourself yet? 0:11:34.250 --> 0:11:37.780 Yeah. You know, now that you asked me that question, 0:11:38.150 --> 0:11:41.530 I was still in UNI, right? And I was just 0:11:41.539 --> 0:11:43.909 getting started in this industry. So I did uni and 0:11:43.919 --> 0:11:45.729 I think that's actually around about the time that you 0:11:45.739 --> 0:11:49.500 are correct to be honest. So I, wow, ages ago. 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.929 So I was just getting into the media. 0:11:53.590 --> 0:11:55.609 Trust me. I did not know what the heck I 0:11:55.619 --> 0:11:58.619 was doing because in my mind, I wanted to be 0:11:58.630 --> 0:12:01.479 a journalist and I was very sure I was going 0:12:01.489 --> 0:12:04.849 to go back and I was gonna do writing, you know, 0:12:04.859 --> 0:12:07.500 I wanted to maybe be a news journalist at some point. 0:12:07.510 --> 0:12:10.130 It is an industry where you have to figure out 0:12:10.140 --> 0:12:14.289 who you are as soon as possible. And I, I 0:12:14.299 --> 0:12:18.030 do pride myself in that because I think that especially 0:12:18.039 --> 0:12:19.090 as a host and 0:12:19.450 --> 0:12:22.340 a presenter, it's not so much about acting. I suck 0:12:22.349 --> 0:12:24.699 at acting. So it's definitely not one of my strong 0:12:24.710 --> 0:12:28.210 suits just gonna admit it right there. I think that 0:12:28.219 --> 0:12:31.690 essentially in the line that I am in specifically growing 0:12:31.700 --> 0:12:34.549 with me at the same time and that in itself 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:38.510 is a gift that I get to experience with, with everyone. Yeah, everyone. 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.409 So I was more concerned about my career trajectory because 0:12:42.419 --> 0:12:44.989 I was juggling school and work at the same time. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.250 And I think it's amazing by the way. Thank you. Yeah, 0:12:47.260 --> 0:12:48.909 I wouldn't do it again. But 0:12:49.140 --> 0:12:52.079 my immediate worry was how do I pass my exams? 0:12:52.090 --> 0:12:55.690 Do well in my final project, not disappoint my lecturers, 0:12:55.700 --> 0:12:58.549 my parents and at the same time, start this career. 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:00.280 And I didn't even know whether this career was going 0:13:00.289 --> 0:13:03.270 to take me anywhere because let's be real at that moment. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.559 I was just doing it like for fun, I didn't 0:13:05.570 --> 0:13:08.169 know that it was gonna be a full time thing 0:13:08.179 --> 0:13:10.989 once I graduated, you know, it was just like throw 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:12.880 it out there and see where it takes me kind 0:13:12.890 --> 0:13:15.830 of situation. So those were the things I was concerned 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:17.010 about and I'm a natural 0:13:17.184 --> 0:13:21.565 competitive person. So I definitely want to really grab the 0:13:21.575 --> 0:13:25.934 opportunities that came my way. I was very fortunate to 0:13:25.945 --> 0:13:29.814 have very supportive parents, both my parents came from media. 0:13:30.034 --> 0:13:33.104 So they've always been like, ok, you do, you pursue 0:13:33.114 --> 0:13:35.695 your dreams kind of thing? They've always been so supportive, 0:13:35.705 --> 0:13:38.544 which I'm eternally grateful for because wouldn't be here without 0:13:38.554 --> 0:13:41.085 them as well. So, yeah, those were the things I 0:13:41.094 --> 0:13:42.284 was concerned 0:13:42.294 --> 0:13:44.574 about and I think I like to think of life 0:13:44.585 --> 0:13:44.914 as 0:13:45.450 --> 0:13:50.270 in little bonuses. So when you said, like, you weren't 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:54.339 expecting anything but what a bonus it's become. Exactly because 0:13:54.349 --> 0:13:54.739 it's like, 0:13:55.039 --> 0:13:58.679 I also feel like, have no expectations so that everything 0:13:58.690 --> 0:14:02.369 that you do earn and receive is a bonus. 0:14:02.380 --> 0:14:07.900 Was that a quote from Spiderman? Expect disappointment from our producer? 0:14:07.909 --> 0:14:13.299 Expect disappointed, disappointment. And you won't be disappointed. Wow! Ok. 0:14:13.479 --> 0:14:14.010 That's a little 0:14:14.020 --> 0:14:14.880 dark. But yeah, 0:14:14.900 --> 0:14:20.109 but you get my same similar, similar. And for those 0:14:20.119 --> 0:14:21.950 of you watching, if you don't, if you don't know 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.190 how Sonia started, 0:14:23.950 --> 0:14:28.750 she actually joined the radio DJ contest the competition and 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:32.340 her mentor was Ross and Ross is a very old 0:14:32.349 --> 0:14:33.479 dear friend of mine. 0:14:33.690 --> 0:14:35.460 And so you became one of the first friends in 0:14:35.469 --> 0:14:36.799 the media that I met. 0:14:36.809 --> 0:14:42.299 Yes, because of the mentor mentee relationship. And then I 0:14:42.309 --> 0:14:45.020 voted for Sonia because I was listening, I was listening 0:14:45.030 --> 0:14:46.919 to her when they were, you know, putting them on 0:14:46.929 --> 0:14:48.710 air to, I used to test them, put a 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.900 knife to your head and you better vote for my, 0:14:52.119 --> 0:14:55.549 she offered me a meal, which is also good because yeah, 0:14:55.679 --> 0:15:00.049 but so I, I had recognized you already earlier this 0:15:00.059 --> 0:15:04.239 girl got something. Yeah. So, so you did, she did 0:15:04.250 --> 0:15:05.979 earn her spot. You 0:15:05.989 --> 0:15:08.929 see, without the kind of support that I had with, I, 0:15:10.059 --> 0:15:14.000 with everything, like strangers, people, I didn't even know, wouldn't 0:15:14.010 --> 0:15:15.929 be here. But of course, in my twenties I was 0:15:15.940 --> 0:15:18.179 also thinking about a lot of relationship stuff. I don't 0:15:18.190 --> 0:15:20.229 know about. You. Did you have a, 0:15:20.309 --> 0:15:23.070 a lot of, like, dating sort of situation? 0:15:23.469 --> 0:15:26.520 And I'm a very committed long term relationship guy. So 0:15:26.530 --> 0:15:28.159 I had a lot of long term relationships. So 0:15:28.169 --> 0:15:30.390 you're a serious relationship in a way. 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:35.090 But when I'm single, oh, here we go. Single. So 0:15:35.250 --> 0:15:38.369 I'm not sure that. Right. So let me see when 0:15:38.380 --> 0:15:42.520 I was in my twenties. So during like, during uni 0:15:42.530 --> 0:15:47.030 was like one long term girlfriend and then early to 0:15:47.049 --> 0:15:48.359 mid two thousands 0:15:48.929 --> 0:15:53.570 became single, 2006. And then, yeah. And then I was 0:15:53.580 --> 0:15:55.640 doing all the, so I was modeling back then as 0:15:55.650 --> 0:15:57.739 well and working on my first, we need to 0:15:57.750 --> 0:16:00.909 put in a like modeling days right now. 0:16:01.159 --> 0:16:05.830 Well, long time ago and starting my first business back then. 0:16:06.090 --> 0:16:09.390 Um and then doing the modeling pr stuff like the 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.760 pr at the clubs, taking care of all the models 0:16:11.770 --> 0:16:14.190 that were coming for dinners and parties. 0:16:14.719 --> 0:16:18.900 So that was my life, right? It was like vibrant, yeah, 0:16:18.909 --> 0:16:24.609 partying like 34 times a week hustling like that was 0:16:24.619 --> 0:16:27.659 a real hustle day. You had to go out and 0:16:27.669 --> 0:16:30.200 work you had to do the events you had to 0:16:30.210 --> 0:16:30.289 do 0:16:30.359 --> 0:16:36.299 to take all the jobs, the network. So pre social media, right. 0:16:36.309 --> 0:16:38.710 So I always cut myself very lucky too that I 0:16:38.719 --> 0:16:42.539 came from the analog days, I came from analog transition 0:16:42.549 --> 0:16:44.690 through to the digital. So I kind of had the 0:16:44.700 --> 0:16:47.750 best of both worlds. And you just, you had to 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.700 work there 20 almost 20 years ago. A lot of 0:16:50.710 --> 0:16:52.780 people that we were working with are now in 0:16:53.169 --> 0:16:57.390 positions where they're making the decisions. They're the ones that are. 0:16:57.530 --> 0:17:01.539 You want to book Paul. Ok. Just, just, just hire him. 0:17:01.549 --> 0:17:04.979 Don't need to see the rest because we develop that 0:17:04.989 --> 0:17:07.979 working relationship and a personal relationship from that long ago. 0:17:08.449 --> 0:17:10.739 Like you want to work with someone good. I know 0:17:10.750 --> 0:17:13.869 this guy is good, get him and it's nice. It's, 0:17:13.910 --> 0:17:17.050 it's come full circle. I live in full circle. So 0:17:17.060 --> 0:17:19.300 basically what you're saying is what you experience in 0:17:19.375 --> 0:17:22.005 twenties would have probably paid off in your late twenties 0:17:22.015 --> 0:17:24.344 or early thirties or to your mid 0:17:24.354 --> 0:17:28.185 3100%. Exactly 100%. Yeah. Yes. 0:17:28.194 --> 0:17:31.364 So that is, that is, that's the journey. That's a journey. 0:17:31.474 --> 0:17:35.395 Go out, meet people, you know, establish good relationships, stay 0:17:35.405 --> 0:17:38.194 out and do it while you can survive on two 0:17:38.204 --> 0:17:38.994 hours of sleep. 0:17:39.405 --> 0:17:41.834 Have fun, you can on two hours of sleep, you 0:17:41.844 --> 0:17:45.395 can work very hard later in life. People. Like, actually 0:17:45.712 --> 0:17:48.491 I remembered what we used to do. So they would 0:17:48.501 --> 0:17:51.251 be good to have to, to, to do a travel show. 0:17:51.932 --> 0:17:52.621 For example, it's 0:17:52.641 --> 0:17:55.071 very demanding, by the way, just letting you all know 0:17:55.082 --> 0:17:56.561 you would know too. Yeah, 0:17:56.802 --> 0:17:59.602 people see 45 minutes of a show that we 0:18:00.651 --> 0:18:01.732 always travel for work. So 0:18:01.741 --> 0:18:05.702 fun, five days straight on pushing 12 to 16 hours 0:18:05.712 --> 0:18:10.552 a day traveling and filming. Not easy but fulfilling. So 0:18:10.561 --> 0:18:11.972 fulfilling and so much fun. 0:18:12.510 --> 0:18:14.899 But yeah, I'd say in the twenties is the time 0:18:14.910 --> 0:18:21.170 you hustle hustle, make those relationships have fun. Enjoy. I 0:18:21.180 --> 0:18:24.589 think that's a really crucial time. Figure out what do 0:18:24.599 --> 0:18:27.829 you like? What don't you like? Develop your moral compass? 0:18:27.839 --> 0:18:31.660 You know, which we've already up until then always developing. 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:34.010 But really, I think that's a time when you're now 0:18:34.020 --> 0:18:38.670 a mature inverted commerce. Hopefully because you know, you're all right. 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:40.229 21 you're an adult. 0:18:40.790 --> 0:18:44.609 You're now in the real world. Yeah. Your real sets 0:18:44.619 --> 0:18:47.589 of problems and life is gonna hit you now you 0:18:47.599 --> 0:18:48.859 need to go out and do you need to go 0:18:48.869 --> 0:18:49.750 and do that shit you 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:52.579 need to do. So hopefully how we are looking at 0:18:52.589 --> 0:18:57.209 it now after this conversation is your twenties, the hustling years, 0:18:57.219 --> 0:19:00.389 hopefully your thirties might be like reaping some rewards in 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.609 some way and you've done some growing up. How 0:19:02.709 --> 0:19:04.010 would you describe your thirties? 0:19:04.109 --> 0:19:07.520 No, I'd say you start to reap the rewards, but 0:19:07.530 --> 0:19:10.329 I still feel in the thirties you still have to still, 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:15.920 that's still that next hustle, I think 30 to 35. So, 0:19:15.939 --> 0:19:16.239 how 0:19:16.250 --> 0:19:19.540 do you get to the next level? What you mean? Right. Yes. Exactly. So, 0:19:19.689 --> 0:19:21.849 and people have the pressure of, like, I need to 0:19:21.859 --> 0:19:24.609 be in a stable relationship or, like, because it's not 0:19:24.619 --> 0:19:27.280 just about career. Yeah. It's also about 0:19:27.430 --> 0:19:30.599 the societal pressures. Like, I know. Ok. So, when I 0:19:30.609 --> 0:19:32.589 was in Singapore, exactly, when I was in my early 0:19:32.599 --> 0:19:34.909 twenties and I had colleagues or friends who were in 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:37.750 their early thirties, they would start to worry because they 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.550 see the rest of their group getting married or getting 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:43.699 engaged or like starting to have their first kid and 0:19:43.709 --> 0:19:46.459 they're like, stressing like, oh, like I should be there again. 0:19:46.469 --> 0:19:49.689 No. Right or wrong, right. Some focus on career, some 0:19:49.699 --> 0:19:54.060 focus on family. The amazing people do both. And I'm like, wow, 0:19:54.069 --> 0:19:56.819 like that's, that's awesome. 0:19:57.589 --> 0:19:59.550 But I still feel there's no right or wrong there 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:01.479