1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,350 Speaker 1: money talks is brought to you by OCBC Bank. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,740 Speaker 1: Can you give us your quick thoughts on the following 3 00:00:08,789 --> 00:00:11,710 Speaker 1: marriage and money? Trust. 4 00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:15,410 Speaker 1: Joint account versus individual accounts, 5 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:16,370 Speaker 2: flexible 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:21,669 Speaker 1: financial togetherness versus financial independence. 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 2: Togetherness 8 00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: sources of money conflict 9 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 2: transparency. 10 00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:31,390 Speaker 1: Financial compatibility. 11 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 2: Equality. Thank 12 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,849 Speaker 1: you so much julie. 13 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Sarah al Khaldi. Thanks for joining us on 14 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:01,130 Speaker 1: money talks. It's no surprise that financial matters can cause 15 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:05,250 Speaker 1: enormous stress in the marriage. Think about it. Two very 16 00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:09,929 Speaker 1: different people from different backgrounds merge their lives and that 17 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:15,420 Speaker 1: includes bringing together earnings expenses and future goals for you. 18 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: Money might not just be about the amount in your 19 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,170 Speaker 1: bank account. 20 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:23,170 Speaker 1: It's also a reflection of your hard work, diligent planning 21 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:27,580 Speaker 1: and even sacrifices. There's no guarantee though, that your spouse 22 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 1: would see money the same way throw in added responsibilities 23 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,610 Speaker 1: like having kids, caring for elderly parents and paying down debt. 24 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:40,700 Speaker 1: But this doesn't have to be a costly conflict like 25 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:43,710 Speaker 1: everything else in a marriage. The topic of money can 26 00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: bring you both together rather than tear you apart 27 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: and to help us with that. Let's get insights from 28 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:55,510 Speaker 1: Tanzania li head of wealth management. Singapore at OCBC Bank julie. 29 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us today on the podcast. 30 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,670 Speaker 2: Thank you for inviting me Sarah. It's 31 00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: such an exciting and very important topic, couples and money. 32 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:09,470 Speaker 1: So many ways. You can manage your finances with your spouse. 33 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,780 Speaker 1: What would you say is your way of doing things 34 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,590 Speaker 1: in your personal life. 35 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 2: Different couples have different dynamics similar for myself and for 36 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,950 Speaker 2: us well. So there's no one size fits all guidelines 37 00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:25,370 Speaker 2: on how couples should be managing their finances. Take me, 38 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:28,730 Speaker 2: for example, my husband and I, we maintain separate accounts. 39 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:31,260 Speaker 2: We do not even have joint accounts. I know him 40 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:34,570 Speaker 2: since I was in junior college, so we understand each 41 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 2: other very 42 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:38,325 Speaker 2: well. It's just about being comfortable with each other, being 43 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,125 Speaker 2: comfortable with the arrangement, we got to trust each other. 44 00:02:41,135 --> 00:02:43,505 Speaker 2: We got to communicate as we grew older and we 45 00:02:43,505 --> 00:02:46,035 Speaker 2: got into buying our first home and things like that. 46 00:02:46,044 --> 00:02:48,385 Speaker 2: That's when we started discussing, how should we be paying 47 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,945 Speaker 2: our monthly expenses and things like that for the monthly 48 00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:53,855 Speaker 2: housing loan. We just didn't thought of opening a joint account. 49 00:02:53,865 --> 00:02:56,035 Speaker 2: What we'll do is that our pay the housing loan 50 00:02:56,035 --> 00:02:58,595 Speaker 2: from his account and I will do a monthly standing 51 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,855 Speaker 2: instruction to transfer my share of the housing loan amount 52 00:03:01,855 --> 00:03:03,865 Speaker 2: to his account that he will end up paying for 53 00:03:03,865 --> 00:03:04,994 Speaker 2: it so that 54 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:08,609 Speaker 2: my life. But I do have the majority of my 55 00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: friends and my colleagues who will always maintain a joint 56 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:16,179 Speaker 2: account with their spouses right? For general expenses like housing loan, kids, 57 00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:20,019 Speaker 2: education groceries and things like that. But majority of them 58 00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:22,900 Speaker 2: also have their own separate accounts. Why? So that you 59 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:25,050 Speaker 2: can spend on things that you like. You do not 60 00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:27,590 Speaker 2: need to account right to the other party while I'm 61 00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:30,810 Speaker 2: buying a five figure coffee machine, like one of my colleagues. 62 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,139 Speaker 2: But your husband don't have to explain to her why 63 00:03:33,139 --> 00:03:34,900 Speaker 2: this is so really there's no one size, 64 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,515 Speaker 2: it's all it's about what's comfortable with the both of you. 65 00:03:37,525 --> 00:03:37,715 Speaker 2: It's 66 00:03:37,715 --> 00:03:41,214 Speaker 1: true. It really depends on different people, different couples and 67 00:03:41,215 --> 00:03:44,535 Speaker 1: different setups. You meet a lot of people talking about 68 00:03:44,545 --> 00:03:49,235 Speaker 1: people's finances at what point does it become a big problem? 69 00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:53,105 Speaker 1: Have you seen financial issues blow up to become a 70 00:03:53,105 --> 00:03:55,835 Speaker 1: major conflict among couples? 71 00:03:55,845 --> 00:04:00,305 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. The crunch time will come when one party 72 00:04:00,305 --> 00:04:00,725 Speaker 2: loses the 73 00:04:00,725 --> 00:04:01,705 Speaker 1: job 74 00:04:01,715 --> 00:04:04,905 Speaker 2: and when the crisis hit for the joint investment 75 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 2: and then after that for example the stock market falls 76 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,110 Speaker 2: like 40% and their losses, then they will start talking about, 77 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,190 Speaker 2: oh you made the wrong decision. No, I wasn't the 78 00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:15,339 Speaker 2: one who wanted to buy that particular star and things 79 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:18,630 Speaker 2: like that. That's where quarrels will happen and then from 80 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,630 Speaker 2: then on the relationship will go down here. So that's 81 00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:24,330 Speaker 2: why it's always advisable that if we want to do 82 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,339 Speaker 2: joint planning or joint financial planning for that matter or 83 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,710 Speaker 2: joint investment is better to list down the roles and 84 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:31,549 Speaker 2: responsibilities 85 00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:34,267 Speaker 2: each other who is coming out with a larger portion 86 00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:36,787 Speaker 2: of the monies and all of us got to go 87 00:04:36,787 --> 00:04:38,807 Speaker 2: in with the understanding that if you do an investment 88 00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:41,047 Speaker 2: there will be losses and is the loss is going 89 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,697 Speaker 2: to be apportioned equally or we both take the loss 90 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:45,807 Speaker 2: at the same time. So these are things that has 91 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:49,897 Speaker 2: to be communicated upfront when you enter into a bigger 92 00:04:49,897 --> 00:04:52,606 Speaker 2: financial decision like for example housing loan for that matter 93 00:04:52,617 --> 00:04:54,817 Speaker 2: when a couple decides to buy a house, we take 94 00:04:54,817 --> 00:04:57,297 Speaker 2: up a particular loan, we have to discuss how much 95 00:04:57,307 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 2: loans do we want to 96 00:04:58,053 --> 00:05:01,564 Speaker 2: Take up? Is it 50%, is it 60%? And are 97 00:05:01,564 --> 00:05:03,874 Speaker 2: we able to pay for it? I would think major 98 00:05:03,874 --> 00:05:08,094 Speaker 2: financial decisions need to be discussed, communicated and at least 99 00:05:08,094 --> 00:05:10,693 Speaker 2: have an understanding smaller things like if I want to 100 00:05:10,694 --> 00:05:12,734 Speaker 2: buy that particular bag that I see, I don't have 101 00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:16,464 Speaker 2: to tell my husband about that. That would be my recommendation. 102 00:05:16,474 --> 00:05:20,104 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point about talking about big financial 103 00:05:20,104 --> 00:05:24,394 Speaker 1: decisions and the roles and responsibility of each person in 104 00:05:24,394 --> 00:05:24,500 Speaker 1: the 105 00:05:24,571 --> 00:05:29,781 Speaker 1: major financial decisions and I've talked to different couples about 106 00:05:29,781 --> 00:05:34,141 Speaker 1: how they work their finances like yourself, they manage it separately. 107 00:05:34,141 --> 00:05:38,741 Speaker 1: There are others who are very transparent and everything is 108 00:05:38,741 --> 00:05:42,371 Speaker 1: combined than other countries in Japan for example, it's also 109 00:05:42,371 --> 00:05:46,111 Speaker 1: quite common for the men to hand over their salaries 110 00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:49,461 Speaker 1: to the wife, for the wife to manage the household expenses. 111 00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:50,970 Speaker 1: So it's really different 112 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,610 Speaker 1: aside from the different roles and responsibilities that we have 113 00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:58,460 Speaker 1: to think about. What factors do you think should we 114 00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:01,900 Speaker 1: consider when deciding how to go about this? We 115 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:05,090 Speaker 2: have to consider each other's earnings ability. There are some 116 00:06:05,089 --> 00:06:08,179 Speaker 2: of my colleagues and friends who are the sole breadwinner, 117 00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:10,650 Speaker 2: whether it's the husband or the wife, one would be 118 00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:13,050 Speaker 2: at home looking after the kids and other things. So 119 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 2: in that situation, he has to be very clear that 120 00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:18,140 Speaker 2: the one who brings back the bacon will have the 121 00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: more say in how the money is going to be 122 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,603 Speaker 2: used. But of course when it comes to financial planning, 123 00:06:23,613 --> 00:06:26,513 Speaker 2: for example, things like retirement, things like planning for your 124 00:06:26,513 --> 00:06:30,423 Speaker 2: Children's education, this has to be a joint decision because 125 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,023 Speaker 2: the child belongs to the both of you retirement. When 126 00:06:33,023 --> 00:06:35,063 Speaker 2: we are into our golden years, we only have each other. 127 00:06:35,073 --> 00:06:38,633 Speaker 2: So these major financial decisions need to be discussed. But 128 00:06:38,642 --> 00:06:40,583 Speaker 2: in the normal scheme of things, bigger scheme of things, 129 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:43,383 Speaker 2: the day to day expenses that will have to be 130 00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:45,952 Speaker 2: decided by the sole breadwinner. The best thing for the 131 00:06:45,952 --> 00:06:48,063 Speaker 2: couple to do is to actually list down what are 132 00:06:48,063 --> 00:06:49,092 Speaker 2: the daily 133 00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:53,126 Speaker 2: monthly expenses so that everyone knows what the spending patterns 134 00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:55,445 Speaker 2: be like on a monthly basis. And of course when 135 00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:58,116 Speaker 2: it comes to christmas, chinese new year, there will be 136 00:06:58,116 --> 00:06:59,706 Speaker 2: a bump out expenses. How are we going to find 137 00:06:59,706 --> 00:07:03,366 Speaker 2: all those expenses? Who has the most? I guess if 138 00:07:03,376 --> 00:07:05,666 Speaker 2: I would say that the one who is like holding 139 00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:07,666 Speaker 2: the purse strings, we have the most day. But ultimately 140 00:07:07,676 --> 00:07:10,496 Speaker 2: at the end of the day it boils down to communications, 141 00:07:10,506 --> 00:07:13,256 Speaker 2: the couples have to discuss is about the trust with 142 00:07:13,256 --> 00:07:16,496 Speaker 2: each other is about understanding and once that is confirmed, 143 00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:18,426 Speaker 2: there should be no squabbles down the road, 144 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:21,330 Speaker 1: it's interesting too, there are couples where let's say at 145 00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:25,170 Speaker 1: the beginning, the husband earns more than the wife. Then 146 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:29,470 Speaker 1: you fast forward 56 years, then the wife might earn 147 00:07:29,470 --> 00:07:33,050 Speaker 1: more than the husband. So it can be an ongoing 148 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,929 Speaker 1: change really when it comes to finances and who brings 149 00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:37,370 Speaker 1: in more 150 00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: more in the family. 151 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 2: Um, akin this to how we have been advising clients 152 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,750 Speaker 2: that you should do an annual review of your financial 153 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 2: portfolios because your earning circumstances may change, which means your 154 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 2: lifestyle may change as you age as you progress throughout 155 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,070 Speaker 2: your life, all these things will have to be reviewed 156 00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,790 Speaker 2: annually. I mean that's for financial planning, but I would 157 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:02,370 Speaker 2: also advise couples that as we progress through our lives together, 158 00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:05,010 Speaker 2: probably in one of your date nights, some time to 159 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 2: just talk about how have our lives changed over the 160 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,790 Speaker 2: past five years and then we have kids along the way. 161 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,260 Speaker 2: So how we're going to re prioritize our finances all 162 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:14,980 Speaker 2: over again, I guess that has to be constantly talked 163 00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 2: about and not like sweep it underneath the carpet. 164 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,980 Speaker 1: Right. And 165 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:23,630 Speaker 1: you mentioned about having your own account. How important is 166 00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:28,130 Speaker 1: that in today's world? Because it's true that you're a 167 00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: couple of your family together, then you have joint expenses. 168 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: But how important is it for men and women to 169 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:40,470 Speaker 1: have their own part of money, so to speak. 170 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,990 Speaker 2: Some may not want to have their own part of money, 171 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 2: but for me, I would like to have my own 172 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,010 Speaker 2: part of money because like I mentioned earlier, 173 00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:51,949 Speaker 2: when I see something and I want to get it, 174 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,130 Speaker 2: I can make my own decision without having to seek 175 00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:57,450 Speaker 2: consent from the other party that gives you the flexibility. 176 00:08:57,450 --> 00:09:00,420 Speaker 2: I would say to make decisions on your own rather 177 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 2: than always having to rely on someone and getting that 178 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,709 Speaker 2: permission in our lives, we need to have some flexibility 179 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,949 Speaker 2: and not be tied down with rules, especially when it's 180 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:12,030 Speaker 2: pertaining to your own personal finance and what you want 181 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 2: to do. 182 00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:15,329 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so important. I want to be able to 183 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,199 Speaker 1: buy what I want 184 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:20,250 Speaker 2: to a certain extent, to a certain extent. But of 185 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:23,630 Speaker 2: course when it comes to major purchases, maybe you should 186 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,630 Speaker 2: discuss with your other half 187 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: and get his finance 188 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,230 Speaker 2: and the final decision. 189 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,780 Speaker 1: Yeah. So there's really no one way to do it. 190 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,900 Speaker 1: It's hard to say One way is right in the 191 00:09:34,915 --> 00:09:38,175 Speaker 1: other way is wrong. There are different factors. But for everybody, 192 00:09:38,184 --> 00:09:41,535 Speaker 1: if you're together, if you're married, you have family, what 193 00:09:41,535 --> 00:09:45,655 Speaker 1: is the goal when it comes to managing your finances together? 194 00:09:45,665 --> 00:09:50,444 Speaker 2: The goal is definitely to have enough to cater for 195 00:09:50,445 --> 00:09:52,775 Speaker 2: your day to day living to have enough for your 196 00:09:52,775 --> 00:09:56,105 Speaker 2: Children's education to have enough very importantly to have enough 197 00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:57,055 Speaker 2: for the retirement. 198 00:09:57,179 --> 00:10:00,590 Speaker 2: Because as a couple, we walk through this journey together 199 00:10:00,590 --> 00:10:03,340 Speaker 2: and we grow all together. So that's important that when 200 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:05,740 Speaker 2: we grow old, we have enough for ourselves. We still 201 00:10:05,740 --> 00:10:08,870 Speaker 2: live amicably we have that trust. We have that communication, 202 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:12,949 Speaker 2: we have that transparency. Ultimately at the end of the day, 203 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,099 Speaker 2: everything is about open communication, everything is about trust. 204 00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, communication is so important. Trust as well and that 205 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: can be equally challenging. Not just the financial decisions are 206 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: not just trying to figure out financial solutions for your family, 207 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: but communication can be equally challenging for many couples. So 208 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 1: how should we go about that? How should we approach 209 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:38,780 Speaker 1: the topic with 210 00:10:38,815 --> 00:10:42,744 Speaker 1: spouse? Especially when there are points of disagreements and there 211 00:10:42,755 --> 00:10:46,324 Speaker 1: is unhappiness in the picture. I 212 00:10:46,325 --> 00:10:49,215 Speaker 2: would recommend that everyone just talked about it, address the 213 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:52,055 Speaker 2: elephant in the room. If none wants to address the 214 00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:54,415 Speaker 2: elephant in the room, nothing will happen. And then this 215 00:10:54,425 --> 00:10:57,385 Speaker 2: animosity between the couples will start to build up. It 216 00:10:57,385 --> 00:11:00,115 Speaker 2: has to take courage to be able to address the 217 00:11:00,115 --> 00:11:01,370 Speaker 2: elephant in the room and 218 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,430 Speaker 2: someone just got to do it. If you really believe 219 00:11:04,429 --> 00:11:06,430 Speaker 2: that that is a problem that needs to be solved. 220 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,790 Speaker 2: And if you still love each other, you want to 221 00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:11,189 Speaker 2: spend your life with each other. Someone has to address 222 00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:13,790 Speaker 2: the elephant in the room. That's what I do. Whenever 223 00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 2: I want to say something about finances, I'm always the 224 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,090 Speaker 2: one probably because I'm more outspoken, I will always be 225 00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:22,510 Speaker 2: the one to address the elephant in the room. If not, 226 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,410 Speaker 2: this whole thing will start brewing and then it's not healthy. 227 00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:30,740 Speaker 1: Hi, my name is steve lie and I'm Teresa Tang 228 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,329 Speaker 1: and we are the hosts of the new podcast CNN 229 00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: correspondent from new york to Bangkok join us as we 230 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,950 Speaker 1: kick back and chat with our colleagues across the globe 231 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,010 Speaker 1: about the latest news developments. Look out for our weekly 232 00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:45,270 Speaker 1: episodes wherever you get your podcasts. 233 00:11:48,429 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: What are some of the common disagreements that you've encountered 234 00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:57,090 Speaker 1: when it comes to couples talking about money and trying 235 00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: to handle money together? 236 00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:01,340 Speaker 2: My understanding is always with the kids, whether I should 237 00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:04,900 Speaker 2: be spending the kind of money to send them to 238 00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:07,930 Speaker 2: a certain place school that cost like $3, or I 239 00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 2: think sending into another place school that is good enough. 240 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,340 Speaker 2: But we save some money. 241 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 2: I think that most of the time the disagreement will 242 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 2: be more on the Children. We come with different notion 243 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,770 Speaker 2: on how we want to manage our Children. So that's 244 00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:24,990 Speaker 2: something that I see more disagreement than any other things. 245 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,210 Speaker 1: When you encounter these issues and this kind of conflict 246 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: with other couples, what do you say to them? 247 00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:35,410 Speaker 1: Because you can have different perspectives when it comes to 248 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: these things. 249 00:12:36,370 --> 00:12:38,750 Speaker 2: If you can manage to convince each other to get 250 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 2: your views, that's fine. If not, I guess it has 251 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 2: to come to a compromise. If not there will be 252 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 2: no end to it. Unlike work where between colleagues, we 253 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 2: cannot agree, we can escalate to the boss. Yeah, exactly. Right. 254 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,590 Speaker 2: But when it comes to couples, there's no one to 255 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,220 Speaker 2: escalate this to if we really love each other and 256 00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,910 Speaker 2: care for the kids and care for the family, both 257 00:12:56,910 --> 00:13:00,070 Speaker 2: couples have to compromise. There's no two way about the, 258 00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:03,359 Speaker 1: I mean kids are one thing and when we talk 259 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:08,980 Speaker 1: about family finance usually discovers spending earnings. But another thing 260 00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:12,910 Speaker 1: we have to talk about too is debt and insurance. 261 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,490 Speaker 1: These are other things that usually are not the most 262 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:20,330 Speaker 1: common things that we talk about. How do we make 263 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:24,900 Speaker 1: sure that we have a holistic view of our finances together? 264 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,090 Speaker 1: What other things should we bring 265 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:27,750 Speaker 2: up? 266 00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:32,599 Speaker 2: So that's a very good question. Sarah its communications and transparency. 267 00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:34,890 Speaker 2: There is a situation of a debt. Someone has to 268 00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,980 Speaker 2: bring it up and discuss. I do have a friend 269 00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:42,140 Speaker 2: who suddenly discovered that the husband actually had huge debt. 270 00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,580 Speaker 2: It's like some random day where she just discovered it 271 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,890 Speaker 2: and then she just approached her husband and talk about it. 272 00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,870 Speaker 2: And in the end it's like happily resolved. Someone must 273 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,540 Speaker 2: step up and address the elephant in the room. If 274 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,429 Speaker 2: not right. This thing would just spiral 275 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: down here. Another one. I'm glad you bring up insurance. 276 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,329 Speaker 2: I have colleagues. They will just buy insurance on behalf 277 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:03,110 Speaker 2: of the spouse. Why? Because they believe in insurance and 278 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 2: they want their spouses to be insured as well. They 279 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,030 Speaker 2: would see themselves spending the rest of their life with 280 00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:10,700 Speaker 2: their spouse and they would want each other to be insured. 281 00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:13,710 Speaker 2: So in our financial planning journey, we also do ask 282 00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:16,630 Speaker 2: our clients to ensure themselves adequately so that they are 283 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 2: prepared for retirement. So I don't have to worry about 284 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,570 Speaker 2: hospital bills, I don't have to worry about the rising 285 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 2: medical costs insure 286 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:25,810 Speaker 2: is one step that we will get clients to go 287 00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:29,860 Speaker 2: into first before thinking about spending the money on investments. 288 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 2: So most of the time when we talk about insurance, 289 00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:34,820 Speaker 2: I do see couples coming together to plan for insurance, 290 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:38,470 Speaker 2: not so much planning for investments because investment is like 291 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 2: there will be losses and things like that. So insurance 292 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:43,530 Speaker 2: is good to plan together as a family so that 293 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,390 Speaker 2: the financial advisor will be able to give you a 294 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:48,450 Speaker 2: holistic plan on how much each of us needs to 295 00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,810 Speaker 2: be insured to be adequate for retirement. 296 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,470 Speaker 1: You mentioned how we have to plan for insurance together 297 00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:58,150 Speaker 1: as a family. But what about retirement? Because when you're 298 00:14:58,150 --> 00:15:02,790 Speaker 1: raising kids, you have household expenses, it involves everybody. It 299 00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:06,580 Speaker 1: involves the whole family unit, But should couples plan for 300 00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:11,220 Speaker 1: retirement together or should it be seen as separate expenses, 301 00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:14,340 Speaker 2: it's always advisable to do retirement planning together because you 302 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,790 Speaker 2: guys are going to grow old together again, depends on 303 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,190 Speaker 2: the comfort level of each couple because the dynamics are 304 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:19,970 Speaker 2: very different 305 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,820 Speaker 2: because we go into planning for retirement, there will definitely 306 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 2: be some investments that will be involved into products so 307 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,860 Speaker 2: that you can grow your retirement funds. But when it 308 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 2: comes to investment, that's where the dicey topic about losses 309 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:35,050 Speaker 2: would surface and that's the reason why when, when a 310 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,940 Speaker 2: plan together in financial planning, both couples must be clear 311 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:41,290 Speaker 2: when trouble hits, we've got to be in this together 312 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,210 Speaker 2: and do not point fingers at each other. 313 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:48,210 Speaker 2: So joint financial planning is always welcome. However, things have 314 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:50,270 Speaker 2: to be stated upfront when it's not a bit of 315 00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:51,470 Speaker 2: roses down the road. 316 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: So it means as a couple, you shouldn't 317 00:15:54,520 --> 00:16:00,420 Speaker 1: take any investment products or make any investments that the 318 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: other person is not comfortable in and it's not ready 319 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: to lose out. 320 00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:08,690 Speaker 2: Exactly, yes. So when you get into an investment product, 321 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,990 Speaker 2: you have to be very comfortable to know that this 322 00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 2: will result in losses and things like that. But if 323 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,710 Speaker 2: one party is not comfortable, I would suggest that we 324 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 2: just walked away things through it again, sleep over it 325 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,790 Speaker 2: before you come back to the back 326 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,115 Speaker 2: or to any financial advice and say, hey, now look, 327 00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,055 Speaker 2: I'm ready. 328 00:16:25,065 --> 00:16:29,955 Speaker 1: I see. So if someone along that investment journey starts 329 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:33,815 Speaker 1: getting nervous or starts doubting maybe it's a good time 330 00:16:33,815 --> 00:16:35,465 Speaker 1: to just take a step back and 331 00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:36,865 Speaker 2: and talk about it. Yeah. 332 00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. What's interesting that I've noticed is usually women are 333 00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:46,210 Speaker 1: involved in like the household expenses, monthly expenses, they know 334 00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:49,110 Speaker 1: how much they're spending when it comes to groceries, education. 335 00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:52,860 Speaker 1: But personally I've met a lot of women who get 336 00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: their husbands to do the long term planning. The big 337 00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: picture planning like retirement and insurance in particular. And what's 338 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 1: surprising for me is when the women don't know what 339 00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:08,780 Speaker 1: their husbands are investing in or what kind of insurance 340 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:12,140 Speaker 1: products they already have. Is that something you've noticed too? 341 00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:14,230 Speaker 1: And does this concern you? 342 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,880 Speaker 2: Ah Yes that's something I've noticed and yes that concerns 343 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,430 Speaker 2: me greatly because 344 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 2: if you do not know what each other your husband 345 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,390 Speaker 2: for example has invested in especially if it comes from 346 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:28,260 Speaker 2: a joint account the joint monies. And that's when you 347 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,510 Speaker 2: get your surprise if let's say things don't turn out 348 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,300 Speaker 2: the way it should be if you do not know 349 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:36,350 Speaker 2: what insurance policies your husband has or has not for you. 350 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 2: It will be a problem if one day either one 351 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,500 Speaker 2: passes on that's where you have a huge problem trying 352 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:45,060 Speaker 2: to find out how I can claim or rather what 353 00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:45,780 Speaker 2: the first place, 354 00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:48,409 Speaker 2: how much am I covered. How much am I supposed 355 00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:50,860 Speaker 2: to get back? We do see a lot of cases 356 00:17:50,859 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 2: like this where after a couple passed on they will 357 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,160 Speaker 2: have to go to various insurance companies to say. I 358 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,180 Speaker 2: think my husband said I bought this policy from this 359 00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,260 Speaker 2: insurance agency I think in this so they have to 360 00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:04,260 Speaker 2: go around. I mean in the period where you're grieving 361 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,450 Speaker 2: and yet you have to think of expenses I guess 362 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:08,550 Speaker 2: that is very sad. So it's always good to know 363 00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:10,780 Speaker 2: what each other what your husband or your wife has 364 00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,270 Speaker 2: helped you to invest and ensure 365 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:15,180 Speaker 2: and so that you you under. No and then especially 366 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:17,790 Speaker 2: now I think this problem has been kind of notice 367 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,629 Speaker 2: and therefore with the sdf index now we can consolidate 368 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,290 Speaker 2: all our investment plans as well as an insurance policy 369 00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:27,380 Speaker 2: into one. I think that is a very good move 370 00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:30,230 Speaker 2: by the industry so that everyone has a clear view 371 00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,880 Speaker 2: of what are the various insurance policies and investments that 372 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:33,610 Speaker 2: I have. 373 00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:37,700 Speaker 1: And this really goes to show that it is so 374 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:42,869 Speaker 1: important to discuss financial matters. Money matters before you even 375 00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: get married. Do you have any advice to those who 376 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: are maybe dating or who are engaged that can help 377 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:54,890 Speaker 1: them smoothen out financial issues and communication. 378 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,930 Speaker 2: A lot of people that aspect too. They said that 379 00:18:57,940 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about it because I want 380 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,020 Speaker 2: to just get married. And then after that I talked 381 00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:02,930 Speaker 2: about it but 382 00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:05,830 Speaker 2: I guess it's better to talk about it first if 383 00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:09,250 Speaker 2: there are any disagreements it can be sorted out before 384 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,350 Speaker 2: you really tired or not. And also after you get 385 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,929 Speaker 2: married that's when your kids will come when your house 386 00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:15,959 Speaker 2: will come and then you got to juggle with your 387 00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:18,180 Speaker 2: work and your family. I think that's like at least 388 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:21,030 Speaker 2: that little room to talk about serious issues like finances. 389 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,540 Speaker 2: So it's always good to talk about it. Even like 390 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:27,460 Speaker 2: discuss lightly, at least you've got some inclination whether we 391 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:29,689 Speaker 2: should have a joint account and whether we should be 392 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,920 Speaker 2: separate or my other half prefers that. I don't know 393 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,139 Speaker 2: anything about this. So sometimes by talking about such things, 394 00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:38,149 Speaker 2: maybe other things. That is not that good with the face. 395 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:38,940 Speaker 2: I would think 396 00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,910 Speaker 1: before we let you go julie, do you have any 397 00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:48,050 Speaker 1: tips for married couples out there who are working on 398 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: their finances together or maybe encountering some disagreements and difficulties 399 00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:55,100 Speaker 1: in this area already? 400 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,859 Speaker 2: Ultimately at the end of the day when you guys 401 00:19:57,859 --> 00:20:00,450 Speaker 2: are a couple you get married. It's all about these 402 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,590 Speaker 2: three things. It's about trust that you get together each other, 403 00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:05,590 Speaker 2: it's about loving each other. And if you want to 404 00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:10,530 Speaker 2: maintain that relationship, it's about communication and transparency. Address the 405 00:20:10,530 --> 00:20:13,250 Speaker 2: elephant in the room. Do not let this brew into 406 00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 2: something that's so big and out of proportion that it's 407 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,260 Speaker 2: too late to recover the relationship. 408 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 1: So there's no one way to handle finances with your spouse. 409 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,109 Speaker 1: But what's important is to get on the same page 410 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,930 Speaker 1: and create open communication when it comes to money matters. 411 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,850 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for your insights julie. Thank 412 00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 2: you Sarah 413 00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:41,250 Speaker 1: and thank you to our listeners. If you've enjoyed money talks, 414 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:44,939 Speaker 1: do follow us on apple podcasts or Spotify, if you 415 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:47,460 Speaker 1: like what you hear do rate us or better sell, 416 00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:50,180 Speaker 1: leave us a review if you have a topic you're 417 00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:53,510 Speaker 1: interested to hear about or have feedback, write to us 418 00:20:53,530 --> 00:20:57,700 Speaker 1: at CNN podcasts at Mediacorp dot com dot SG. The 419 00:20:57,700 --> 00:21:01,739 Speaker 1: team behind money talks is Joanne, chan Jacqueline, chan Danieli 420 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 1: and Christina robert. I'm Sarah called. E. Thanks for listening. 421 00:21:11,210 --> 00:21:15,510 Speaker 1: Money talks is brought to you by OCBc Bank.