1 00:00:02,990 --> 00:00:05,469 Speaker 1: My brother, he was playing Final Fantasy and it was 2 00:00:05,469 --> 00:00:08,989 Speaker 1: like the last bit of the whole game. I override 3 00:00:08,989 --> 00:00:09,709 Speaker 1: his memory card. 4 00:00:17,819 --> 00:00:20,770 Speaker 1: Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Hot Pod 5 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:23,399 Speaker 1: where we hop into different transitions in life. I'm Nick. 6 00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:25,930 Speaker 1: I'm Joey, I'm Q and today we are joined by 7 00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:28,239 Speaker 1: a really special guest, Nancy. 8 00:00:30,469 --> 00:00:30,879 Speaker 1: Please 9 00:00:30,879 --> 00:00:40,310 Speaker 2: introduce yourself. I'm Nancy. I'm pretty old. Are you, what's 10 00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:41,059 Speaker 2: the 1st 997. 11 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:42,689 Speaker 1: Don't you ever 12 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:42,889 Speaker 2: just 13 00:00:42,889 --> 00:00:43,099 Speaker 1: kidding. 14 00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,409 Speaker 2: Thank you so much thank you for joining us. I 15 00:00:45,409 --> 00:00:48,689 Speaker 2: think this is my first and last time. I create 16 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:50,888 Speaker 2: content about my life growing up in Singapore. I'm not 17 00:00:50,889 --> 00:00:54,209 Speaker 2: Singaporean and like Singlish, code switching. 18 00:00:54,729 --> 00:00:56,610 Speaker 2: All that fun stuff. So if I'm very passionate, my 19 00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:57,529 Speaker 2: Singlish accent might come 20 00:00:57,529 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 2: out. 21 00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: So when you say you're not Singaporean, right, where, where 22 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: are you originally from? 23 00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:04,660 Speaker 2: I'm from Tanzania, which is in East Africa. So I 24 00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 2: grew up here since I was like 2 months old. 25 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 2: So I'm like basically Singaporean. You are most Singaporean than 26 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,849 Speaker 2: a lot of people. I can't say that myself. I 27 00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:14,529 Speaker 2: can say for you. 28 00:01:14,669 --> 00:01:17,220 Speaker 2: So today we're gonna be talking about birth orders and 29 00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:20,300 Speaker 2: how our birth order might determine the person we are, 30 00:01:20,389 --> 00:01:23,540 Speaker 2: like our personalities. I highly relate to this because I'm 31 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:25,699 Speaker 2: an only child. Then what is your birth order? Like 32 00:01:25,699 --> 00:01:29,089 Speaker 2: first off, I'm first one and only, first and last. No. 33 00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:30,370 Speaker 2: She said what she said. 34 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:33,059 Speaker 1: Let's go down the couch to share about our birth 35 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,779 Speaker 1: orders and also how many siblings we have. I'm gonna 36 00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:38,660 Speaker 1: go first. I'm the youngest. I have an older sister 37 00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:39,610 Speaker 1: and an older brother. 38 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,500 Speaker 1: I am the oldest. I have a younger sister and 39 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,089 Speaker 1: then a youngest brother. 40 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,419 Speaker 2: I'm a middle child. I have an older sister and 41 00:01:48,419 --> 00:01:50,809 Speaker 2: a younger brother. Are you close to your siblings? 42 00:01:51,019 --> 00:01:51,139 Speaker 1: I 43 00:01:51,139 --> 00:01:54,180 Speaker 1: think I'm OK. I see them quite regularly together with 44 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,980 Speaker 1: my parents. So my younger sister and I, we are 45 00:01:56,980 --> 00:01:59,250 Speaker 1: 1 year apart. Growing up, we hung out a lot. 46 00:01:59,459 --> 00:02:02,300 Speaker 1: Like we are like partners in crime, play video games 47 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:05,150 Speaker 1: together during school, that kind of thing. But then, um, 48 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,620 Speaker 1: my younger brother, he's 10 years younger than me. 49 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,190 Speaker 1: So the dynamic is quite different where like when he 50 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:14,479 Speaker 1: was growing up I was already quite old. So then I, 51 00:02:14,538 --> 00:02:18,270 Speaker 1: I felt like third parent, you know, like that's my mother, 52 00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: my dad, and then me taking care of my 53 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:21,538 Speaker 1: brother. 54 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:24,029 Speaker 2: But do you feel like that because you like they 55 00:02:24,029 --> 00:02:25,309 Speaker 2: told you to take care of him or you 56 00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:26,288 Speaker 2: just like, 57 00:02:26,710 --> 00:02:27,820 Speaker 1: yeah, I feel like it's quite yeah. 58 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,820 Speaker 1: So I'm the youngest, right? My, whatever you just described 59 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,979 Speaker 1: with your sister is the exact same thing that happened 60 00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:38,259 Speaker 1: between my sister and my brother. So they were very close, 61 00:02:38,339 --> 00:02:40,660 Speaker 1: they played video games together and then I felt like 62 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:44,190 Speaker 1: a little outcast for a while. Um, yeah, for a while. 63 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,820 Speaker 1: And honestly, I grew up age gap, uh, 3 and 5. 64 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,830 Speaker 1: Means your oldest sibling is 5 years 5 years. But 65 00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:54,460 Speaker 1: I think generally they have always taken care of me. 66 00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:56,678 Speaker 1: It's just that I grew up a bit spoiled lah, 67 00:02:56,750 --> 00:03:00,610 Speaker 1: which we will dive into it later on. Um, but 68 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:04,470 Speaker 1: I find our relationship a lot more closer now, 69 00:03:04,589 --> 00:03:05,169 Speaker 2: like as an 70 00:03:05,169 --> 00:03:06,389 Speaker 1: adult, as an adult. Yeah, 71 00:03:06,508 --> 00:03:10,990 Speaker 2: it's interesting. I'm a middle child, so my sister, older 72 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,990 Speaker 2: sister is like 3 years gap, my younger brother is 73 00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:15,429 Speaker 2: a 2 year gap. I was closer to my younger 74 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,109 Speaker 2: brother growing up. 75 00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:18,710 Speaker 2: But now as an adult I'm closer to my sister 76 00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: because I feel like when you grow up there like 77 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 2: girl things, there's like it's just different to talk about 78 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,039 Speaker 2: girl things, but when you're young you're just playing. So 79 00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:28,839 Speaker 2: he was just like closer in age and like humor 80 00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:33,309 Speaker 2: everything like we got it like it was just like instant, um, 81 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,039 Speaker 2: whereas with my sister, I feel like because she was older, 82 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,119 Speaker 2: she was like out a lot, like had her own 83 00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 2: friends doing her own thing and then my brother also 84 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,119 Speaker 2: was spoiled. 85 00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:42,648 Speaker 2: You were spoiled. 86 00:03:42,929 --> 00:03:45,850 Speaker 1: Joey, how about you? Growing up as an only 87 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: child, 88 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:48,970 Speaker 2: when I used to meet people, right, and then they 89 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:50,699 Speaker 2: find out I'm an only child, some people be like, 90 00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:52,300 Speaker 2: oh really? And then some people be like, oh I 91 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,199 Speaker 2: can tell. And I never understand what any of that means. 92 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 2: It's like main character energy, you know, 93 00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:58,649 Speaker 1: don't say 94 00:03:58,649 --> 00:03:59,330 Speaker 2: yes. OK, 95 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:01,889 Speaker 1: stereotype for 96 00:04:01,889 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 2: character was like a nice one. 97 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:08,399 Speaker 1: It's a stereotype for only like only children. 98 00:04:08,809 --> 00:04:10,850 Speaker 2: It is quite like like you're a bit unaware of 99 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: how your decisions might affect other people in the room, 100 00:04:14,399 --> 00:04:16,079 Speaker 2: but yeah, but because I grew up with a lot 101 00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:20,529 Speaker 2: of friends and like hanging out with their siblings, I 102 00:04:20,529 --> 00:04:21,260 Speaker 2: end up like 103 00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:25,428 Speaker 2: Adapting. Yeah, adapting. So then I I'm always very scared 104 00:04:25,428 --> 00:04:28,078 Speaker 2: to be an obvious only child. So as a result 105 00:04:28,079 --> 00:04:30,519 Speaker 2: I always act like as much as I can try 106 00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 2: not to be, but I definitely think that because at 107 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:37,049 Speaker 2: home there's no one to compete with for attention or 108 00:04:37,049 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 2: like 109 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,269 Speaker 2: Material goods. I don't have to like share anything. 110 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,730 Speaker 1: OK, so actually, right, does the age gap between you 111 00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,390 Speaker 1: and your siblings matter? 112 00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:46,119 Speaker 2: I feel it 113 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,799 Speaker 2: does matter because like you said, you have a 10 114 00:04:49,799 --> 00:04:52,250 Speaker 2: year age gap with like your youngest brother. He angus 115 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:52,329 Speaker 2: primary 4 yeah 116 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,799 Speaker 1: yeah yeah you're getting ready for PSLE I can't remember 117 00:05:01,799 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: what the dynamic was like because we obviously were like 118 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,709 Speaker 1: playing very different things, right. 119 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:11,329 Speaker 1: Um, but then now that like he's in poly and 120 00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:14,149 Speaker 1: then I'm an adult, then we talk about things like 121 00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:18,789 Speaker 1: movies and like pop culture. I never felt like it 122 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:21,910 Speaker 1: really mattered because I kind of feel like 5 years 123 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:24,429 Speaker 1: is quite a, quite a, quite a big gap. But 124 00:05:24,428 --> 00:05:26,869 Speaker 1: at the same time, because I have my sister in between, right, 125 00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:28,190 Speaker 1: it didn't feel like a big gap. 126 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:31,010 Speaker 1: Because we are always like a trio. There's someone that 127 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:35,170 Speaker 1: bridges the gap la. Yeah, yeah, but I mean maybe 128 00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:38,649 Speaker 1: in my teenage years, then there were moments I felt 129 00:05:38,649 --> 00:05:41,549 Speaker 1: like I was a dumb kid because my brother was 130 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,170 Speaker 1: already like in JC. Then he's like, you don't want, 131 00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:46,849 Speaker 1: you don't wanna, you know. But I mean it's a 132 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:50,230 Speaker 1: typical thing that people say to their younger siblings. So actually, 133 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,049 Speaker 1: what are some birth order stereotypes. 134 00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:53,885 Speaker 1: Do we fit into them? 135 00:05:54,095 --> 00:05:55,894 Speaker 2: I feel like in recent years with TikTok, we are 136 00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:59,695 Speaker 2: like analyzing everything like, oh yeah, you're the oldest sibling 137 00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:03,174 Speaker 2: or the thought or you're the eldest daughter, you know, 138 00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:06,934 Speaker 2: there's so many like little things now. I'm like, but 139 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,045 Speaker 2: I relate to everything because 140 00:06:08,045 --> 00:06:10,734 Speaker 1: I feel like it's confirmation bias. I feel like I 141 00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:15,015 Speaker 1: can explain and link right a personality, right, to any 142 00:06:15,015 --> 00:06:15,575 Speaker 1: birth order. 143 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,988 Speaker 1: So for example, if like someone is spot right, then 144 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,829 Speaker 1: they don't get their way and they like cannot process properly, right? 145 00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,510 Speaker 1: I can link it to like, oh, this person must 146 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,859 Speaker 1: have been the oldest child because like when they were young, 147 00:06:29,029 --> 00:06:32,470 Speaker 1: they are the oldest, right? So like their parents always 148 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,869 Speaker 1: give you everything. But then I can also link it 149 00:06:34,869 --> 00:06:36,959 Speaker 1: to like, oh, this person must have been the youngest 150 00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:40,019 Speaker 1: child because like the siblings take care of them and like. 151 00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:43,789 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I've never heard about spoil being linked to 152 00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: oldest though. It's like really quite far-fetched. But I think 153 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,510 Speaker 1: our grandparents' time, right, they favored or were more biased 154 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 1: towards the oldest, he's a boy. Yeah. Oh, and my 155 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 1: brother is the first born in the Chang Sun, which 156 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 1: is the oldest grandson. That's right. He is like the king. 157 00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: Hm yeah yeah so like the from your grandparents, he 158 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,420 Speaker 1: will end up got more that kind of thing, yeah. 159 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: Oh my God, because I'm my dad's Malaysian. Every time 160 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,980 Speaker 1: we come back from Malaysia, we unpack the angpa together, right? 161 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,279 Speaker 1: Co count. My brother got $100 more for some reason. 162 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,959 Speaker 1: Then we're like, why? Why? Or Akong ah give you more. 163 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,359 Speaker 1: The only one that cannot be explained is the middle child. 164 00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:24,660 Speaker 1: Yeah, 165 00:07:24,799 --> 00:07:25,500 Speaker 2: for some reason 166 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,510 Speaker 2: no one knows where the child is 167 00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:34,450 Speaker 1: the stereotype is no personality that's the stereotype, right? 168 00:07:34,459 --> 00:07:35,459 Speaker 2: Yeah, like 169 00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:39,010 Speaker 2: no one cares about us. We're just not attended attended to, 170 00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:43,049 Speaker 2: but I would say that at least for me, um, 171 00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:46,339 Speaker 2: because my older sister was like out having her own friends, 172 00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:49,010 Speaker 2: doing her own thing, and my younger brother was also like, 173 00:07:49,019 --> 00:07:51,299 Speaker 2: I mean just spoiled and loved and doing his own thing. 174 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:54,940 Speaker 2: Then I'm alone a lot, so I grew to be 175 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:58,929 Speaker 2: very independent. I can relate to like being an only 176 00:07:58,929 --> 00:08:01,290 Speaker 2: child because it felt like that, but then it was 177 00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:03,690 Speaker 2: like an only child where like no one was really 178 00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,730 Speaker 2: paying attention to what you're doing, that kind of vibe. Yeah. 179 00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:08,959 Speaker 2: So you're forced to like develop your own personality. 180 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:11,690 Speaker 1: When we talk about being the youngest, it's always spoiled 181 00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:18,519 Speaker 1: a bit more feisty, um, I think attention seeking, yeah. 182 00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,369 Speaker 1: You think you read it? 183 00:08:19,769 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: I would say the feistiness still lives in me. But 184 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,399 Speaker 1: I think um the spoiled part and also being attention 185 00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: seeking like oh listen to me, I want everyone to 186 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: pay attention to me. Happen mainly in the 1st 10 187 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,598 Speaker 1: years or like 12 years of my life. But 188 00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 2: was 189 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,150 Speaker 2: it something that like you realized like oh wait. 190 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,369 Speaker 2: I'm like that and I don't want to be like 191 00:08:38,369 --> 00:08:38,650 Speaker 2: that anymore. 192 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, actually there was a phase where my siblings were 193 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,010 Speaker 1: always scolding me for being spoiled and then it made 194 00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:46,289 Speaker 1: me feel a bit like it was a mistake that 195 00:08:46,289 --> 00:08:48,650 Speaker 1: my parents made. Also, I'm a mistake by the way, 196 00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:51,699 Speaker 1: like I'm I'm not mistake sorry. I'm I'm not mistaken. 197 00:08:51,849 --> 00:08:54,130 Speaker 1: I'm in an accident. So for a point in time 198 00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:58,150 Speaker 1: I actually really thought that I really was not wanted. Yeah. 199 00:08:58,409 --> 00:09:00,909 Speaker 1: And then that made me even angrier, right, when people 200 00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: were to just keep telling me that I'm spoiled. Then 201 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: one day. 202 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,559 Speaker 1: No, but I get angry a lot when I was younger. 203 00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:13,079 Speaker 1: My youngest brother, right, I don't think I will call 204 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: him spoiled because I don't think he's spoiled, but I 205 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,239 Speaker 1: feel like the upbringing, the parenting style was very different. 206 00:09:18,369 --> 00:09:20,718 Speaker 1: I feel like from a discipline point of view, my 207 00:09:20,719 --> 00:09:23,968 Speaker 1: parents also were like at the age where they like, 208 00:09:24,359 --> 00:09:26,159 Speaker 1: a bit tired to to parent. 209 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,489 Speaker 1: Like they, they were like more in like chill parent 210 00:09:30,489 --> 00:09:31,369 Speaker 1: kind of mood really. 211 00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I see a lot in my older sibling friends, right? 212 00:09:35,049 --> 00:09:38,559 Speaker 2: They almost have this like resentment because they never got 213 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:39,250 Speaker 2: that parent. 214 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:43,059 Speaker 2: Like they see their younger siblings have a lot more 215 00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:46,070 Speaker 2: like a lenient childhood with more color. You get so 216 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:49,830 Speaker 2: many passes that this would never have been able to like, 217 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,919 Speaker 2: you can talk back to your parents and you know scold. 218 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,429 Speaker 2: Last time I say something and then they would like 219 00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:54,909 Speaker 2: yell at 220 00:09:54,909 --> 00:09:54,950 Speaker 2: me. 221 00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:58,390 Speaker 1: So my sister and I have been like we got 222 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,869 Speaker 1: like cane before, but my younger. 223 00:09:59,963 --> 00:10:03,192 Speaker 1: My brother had never been hit by anything before. Like 224 00:10:03,192 --> 00:10:06,922 Speaker 1: he has never been like punished with physical pain, which 225 00:10:06,922 --> 00:10:08,312 Speaker 1: is not to say that he should have been. 226 00:10:08,352 --> 00:10:09,112 Speaker 2: I think mine's 227 00:10:09,112 --> 00:10:11,672 Speaker 2: kind of like a bit different. Maybe it's like an 228 00:10:11,672 --> 00:10:13,872 Speaker 2: African parenting style. My parents were like generally quite chill 229 00:10:13,872 --> 00:10:17,473 Speaker 2: with us, um, but then I think because they realized 230 00:10:17,473 --> 00:10:19,992 Speaker 2: that they were so chill that like my sister. 231 00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:23,116 Speaker 2: She had her own rebellious ways and then my younger 232 00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:27,515 Speaker 2: brother had his like adventurous spontaneous ways and then it 233 00:10:27,515 --> 00:10:29,335 Speaker 2: was kind of put upon me to be the good kid. 234 00:10:29,434 --> 00:10:31,314 Speaker 2: It was like, OK, the teachers are saying good things 235 00:10:31,315 --> 00:10:34,156 Speaker 2: about you. Great job, Nancy, but like when in Evin 236 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,116 Speaker 2: you're better buck up, that kind of thing. So I 237 00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:38,966 Speaker 2: felt like I had this pressure to like maintain that 238 00:10:39,195 --> 00:10:42,556 Speaker 2: like good kid image that so I felt like I 239 00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:45,276 Speaker 2: didn't get to have fun like growing up, bro, I 240 00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:46,726 Speaker 2: was like made to 241 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,780 Speaker 2: Um, iron my own uniform at like since like primary 242 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 2: 1 or something, 7 years 243 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:52,130 Speaker 2: old 244 00:10:52,130 --> 00:10:53,630 Speaker 1: iron her own uniform, 245 00:10:54,419 --> 00:10:56,820 Speaker 2: but my brother, like my mother would iron for him. 246 00:10:57,359 --> 00:10:58,270 Speaker 2: Yes, you 247 00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:58,619 Speaker 2: know, 248 00:10:58,869 --> 00:10:59,270 Speaker 1: and I'm just 249 00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:00,270 Speaker 2: like, oh, where the 250 00:11:00,789 --> 00:11:01,390 Speaker 1: pissed off right 251 00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:02,359 Speaker 2: now. That's not cool. 252 00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:06,549 Speaker 1: Yeah, so my brother didn't have to wash his own 253 00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:09,630 Speaker 1: Maggie bowl last time. OK, that one a bit like. No, 254 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,229 Speaker 1: he would like leave it in the sink, right? OK, sorry, God, 255 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,030 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna expose this, but like he will leave 256 00:11:14,030 --> 00:11:16,549 Speaker 1: it in the sink and then my sister and I 257 00:11:16,549 --> 00:11:20,349 Speaker 1: are expected to wash up for everyone. It's always like 258 00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:22,919 Speaker 1: the girl in the family needs to be 259 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:27,489 Speaker 1: The caretaker you think if your brother was like youngest 260 00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:28,250 Speaker 1: or middle, right? 261 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,729 Speaker 1: Would that be it would be even worse. So if 262 00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:34,409 Speaker 1: he was the youngest, then you think that like it 263 00:11:34,409 --> 00:11:39,809 Speaker 1: would be like extra sport because of your youngest, uh, siblings. Oh, 264 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:43,369 Speaker 1: imagine if he's the youngest, then his son, but he's 265 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,530 Speaker 1: still the oldest grandson. That would be the ultimate. 266 00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:47,848 Speaker 2: That's 267 00:11:47,849 --> 00:11:48,210 Speaker 1: scary. 268 00:11:48,289 --> 00:11:48,530 Speaker 2: That's 269 00:11:48,530 --> 00:11:51,010 Speaker 2: really scary. This is the final boss. OK, we have 270 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,169 Speaker 2: a little table here, OK. Only child. 271 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:57,598 Speaker 2: It says spoiled, um, but they could be leaders or 272 00:11:57,599 --> 00:12:01,250 Speaker 2: mature for their age. They could also be perfectionists, conscientious, 273 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,530 Speaker 2: and diligent. I don't know. I feel like this is 274 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:08,390 Speaker 2: not really the common stereotype. The common stereotype that I 275 00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:11,799 Speaker 2: witnessed now that is very obvious in an only child 276 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 2: is like if they want to eat here, right, they 277 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 2: don't ask the rest of the group what they want 278 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 2: to eat. Or they just decide. I want to eat here. 279 00:12:18,099 --> 00:12:21,380 Speaker 2: But it could also be the older sibling who is 280 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:23,750 Speaker 2: tired of letting the youngest one decide. They are like, no, 281 00:12:23,789 --> 00:12:25,190 Speaker 2: I want to eat this now. Like I'm old enough 282 00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,469 Speaker 2: I can decide. So again, I feel like the the 283 00:12:28,469 --> 00:12:32,349 Speaker 2: roles are not fixed per se, but they do have 284 00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:35,869 Speaker 2: some truth to it on a very general like generic scale. 285 00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:39,340 Speaker 1: Your birth order might have influenced the decision that you make, 286 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,950 Speaker 1: but then that same decision can be made by any 287 00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:42,510 Speaker 1: birth order. 288 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:46,608 Speaker 2: Yeah la, correct, for sure, but definitely as an only child, 289 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,099 Speaker 2: my friends have said that last time my only child 290 00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:52,630 Speaker 2: syndrome was more obvious. Now as I've gotten older, like 291 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,929 Speaker 2: I've grown a lot apparently. 292 00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:57,299 Speaker 1: So actually as a middle child, right, have you ever 293 00:12:57,299 --> 00:12:59,218 Speaker 1: had the experience where you need to kind of like 294 00:12:59,219 --> 00:13:02,869 Speaker 1: be peacemaker either between your siblings and your parents or 295 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,010 Speaker 1: between the siblings? 296 00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:07,140 Speaker 2: I find myself more of a peacemaker like with 297 00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:10,070 Speaker 2: Friends or like in general, I feel like that leaked 298 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:13,630 Speaker 2: out into like my personal life for my specific family dynamic, 299 00:13:13,809 --> 00:13:17,109 Speaker 2: my siblings didn't like act out like rebelliously that I 300 00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:19,530 Speaker 2: had to be like stop. 301 00:13:21,859 --> 00:13:22,299 Speaker 2: I 302 00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:26,270 Speaker 2: couldn't get him like that did not happen thankfully. Do 303 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:26,909 Speaker 2: you think? 304 00:13:27,619 --> 00:13:30,530 Speaker 2: The birth orders can affect your life trajectory and how 305 00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:33,890 Speaker 2: it turns out. I think for myself, it wasn't so 306 00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:38,530 Speaker 2: much about like my career or like education that it affected, 307 00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:42,809 Speaker 2: I think it affected my relationship. So I think as 308 00:13:42,809 --> 00:13:46,159 Speaker 2: a middle child, you, I mean you grow up feeling neglected, right? 309 00:13:46,229 --> 00:13:49,809 Speaker 2: So you run through like relationships for like validation. So 310 00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:53,130 Speaker 2: I felt like when I entered a relationship, I wanted validation, 311 00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:54,449 Speaker 2: but I would not speak up about it. 312 00:13:55,119 --> 00:13:57,799 Speaker 2: Because I'm so used to being ignored, so then I 313 00:13:57,799 --> 00:13:59,909 Speaker 2: just keep everything in and I just like bottle everything 314 00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:03,190 Speaker 2: in and then also because I grew up a certain way, 315 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 2: I was very independent, so I would not lean on 316 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,590 Speaker 2: my partner for like anything. I'm like I got here 317 00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 2: by myself, I'm going to go through life by myself 318 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,799 Speaker 2: kind of like thing which was 319 00:14:14,799 --> 00:14:19,219 Speaker 1: not good lah. I think mine affected my personality because 320 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: my whole family and my siblings always mentioned that. 321 00:14:23,299 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 1: I'm more of a free spirit compared to them. So 322 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: my decisions in life is always like. 323 00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:31,299 Speaker 1: A bit more adventurous compared to them. As I mentioned 324 00:14:31,299 --> 00:14:33,059 Speaker 1: about my brother as well, he was kind of like 325 00:14:33,059 --> 00:14:37,140 Speaker 1: pressured to go to that typical, the typical Singaporean route, right? 326 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,940 Speaker 1: Like JC, Uni. So he's an engineer and he ended 327 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:46,140 Speaker 1: up being in a more corporate-ish job as compared to 328 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:48,099 Speaker 1: my sister and I who are both creatives. My sister 329 00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:50,619 Speaker 1: is a designer. I think it definitely played a part 330 00:14:50,619 --> 00:14:53,900 Speaker 1: in terms of our life choices. Or Joey, for example, 331 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: like as an only child, did you feel like 332 00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,750 Speaker 1: You had all the decisions in the world to make 333 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,750 Speaker 1: for yourself. No comparisons. 334 00:15:02,429 --> 00:15:04,030 Speaker 2: I feel like I could go both ways like on 335 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:07,380 Speaker 2: one hand, you are the only person that can carry 336 00:15:07,669 --> 00:15:10,380 Speaker 2: any legacies or any form of legacies for the family. 337 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,669 Speaker 2: So everything you do needs to be perfect. It could 338 00:15:12,669 --> 00:15:14,669 Speaker 2: be that way or it could be a, there is 339 00:15:14,669 --> 00:15:18,390 Speaker 2: no one else to compare to, so you can choose 340 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,229 Speaker 2: whatever you want. Like if I let you do whatever 341 00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:22,900 Speaker 2: you want, there is no other sibling to worry about 342 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,190 Speaker 2: like wanting to do whatever they want or so. For 343 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,599 Speaker 2: my case, specifically my 344 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:29,849 Speaker 2: Parents were just very aware of where my skills lie. 345 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 2: So they were very OK with letting me do what 346 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 2: I want. Of course they would express like you know 347 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: my dad would say, are you sure this path? I 348 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 2: am just worried that you know if you choose this 349 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,039 Speaker 2: unconventional path, you might have trouble securing a financial like 350 00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,869 Speaker 2: financial stability or any form of a paycheck in the future, 351 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 2: but I think they saw that it was what I 352 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 2: was passionate about because like doing exams and all that 353 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,479 Speaker 2: was really not my thing and they did not blame 354 00:15:55,479 --> 00:15:56,039 Speaker 2: me for that. 355 00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:59,289 Speaker 2: They even you know like paid for a school that 356 00:15:59,289 --> 00:16:00,969 Speaker 2: I didn't end up going to because I got into 357 00:16:00,969 --> 00:16:03,919 Speaker 2: La Salle. I feel like because I am the only child, 358 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:07,500 Speaker 2: I definitely had the privilege of making mistakes like this, 359 00:16:07,809 --> 00:16:10,130 Speaker 2: you know, that if I had siblings, that money could 360 00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:13,489 Speaker 2: have gone to another kid's education, but also I have 361 00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:15,090 Speaker 2: no one else to learn from. I have no one 362 00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:17,859 Speaker 2: else to depend on. At night if I am like 363 00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,609 Speaker 2: sad about something in school, I can't tell anybody and 364 00:16:20,609 --> 00:16:21,770 Speaker 2: sometimes you do not want to tell our parents because 365 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:23,630 Speaker 2: they will make it like such a big deal, but 366 00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:25,580 Speaker 2: you just want to vent. So I did feel 367 00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:28,659 Speaker 2: lonely a lot um and I end up like talking 368 00:16:28,659 --> 00:16:30,609 Speaker 2: to myself or making friends online 369 00:16:30,609 --> 00:16:33,059 Speaker 1: but then I feel like actually what you described, I 370 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: also experienced as an oldest child because I feel like my, 371 00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:41,239 Speaker 1: I don't go to my younger siblings for to like 372 00:16:41,239 --> 00:16:43,260 Speaker 1: to like these are my issues, how do I solve 373 00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:46,140 Speaker 1: the age gap yeah because like I'm the oldest. I'm 374 00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,780 Speaker 1: supposed to have my shit together. To answer your question, right, 375 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:52,460 Speaker 1: does it affect your life trajectory? There are two factors. 376 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,979 Speaker 1: The first is was the parenting consistent. 377 00:16:55,489 --> 00:16:58,820 Speaker 1: So like for my grandfather, for example, he was super 378 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:03,299 Speaker 1: biased towards my oldest uncle, my 1st, 1st son, so 379 00:17:03,299 --> 00:17:07,060 Speaker 1: he paid for my oldest uncle's university, but my dad 380 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,139 Speaker 1: also got into university, uh, but he didn't, he had 381 00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,698 Speaker 1: to pay himself. So there were, there could have been 382 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,579 Speaker 1: if my dad wasn't like driven enough, right, he would 383 00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:19,689 Speaker 1: have not gone to university because nobody pay him, um, 384 00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:23,179 Speaker 1: so that could have really like affected like how life 385 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:23,699 Speaker 1: turned out lah. 386 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:27,900 Speaker 1: Um, but if the parenting was consistent in terms of like, OK, 387 00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:31,109 Speaker 1: whatever I give the opportunities I give to one, I 388 00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:33,900 Speaker 1: give to another, like the standards I set for one, 389 00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:37,790 Speaker 1: I set for the other, like if that parenting is consistent, 390 00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:39,989 Speaker 1: then I feel like you only have yourself to blame 391 00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,909 Speaker 1: if like your life turns out a certain way. Like 392 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:43,429 Speaker 1: you need to take ownership of it, lah. You know, 393 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,389 Speaker 1: if I make being an older sibling and like the 394 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,750 Speaker 1: trauma from being an older child, right? 395 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,469 Speaker 1: My entire personality or identity, like, even though I am 396 00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: now like 31, then I have to own, I have 397 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: to own it when like, you know, that trauma manifests 398 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: in like the decisions, decisions I make lah. It cannot 399 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,948 Speaker 1: be like a case when now I'm 31 years already 400 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,669 Speaker 1: and like yeah, last time when I young that time 401 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: 2 years old, then I was the oldest sibling. That's 402 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 1: why now my life is messed up. 403 00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: Right, 404 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:11,310 Speaker 2: yeah, yeah. 405 00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:14,989 Speaker 2: And then again, like with everything in life, don't use 406 00:18:14,989 --> 00:18:18,180 Speaker 2: something small as an excuse. I'm like, no, you're just 407 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:21,579 Speaker 2: a bitch, right? Like don't, don't like use something that 408 00:18:21,579 --> 00:18:23,770 Speaker 2: could maybe relate a little bit as your 409 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,780 Speaker 2: whole. Like 410 00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,780 Speaker 1: yeah, like as in you need to process and deal 411 00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:33,219 Speaker 1: with that. Yeah. Just now Nancy mentioned about how her 412 00:18:33,219 --> 00:18:36,819 Speaker 1: birth order translated into her relationships, right? I think that's 413 00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:38,770 Speaker 1: so interesting. Do you all feel like 414 00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:43,079 Speaker 1: The habits from your childhood was translated. I think a bit. 415 00:18:43,199 --> 00:18:45,079 Speaker 1: The main thing now is that I am a bit 416 00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 1: emotionally avoidant because I think like growing up in my 417 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:53,239 Speaker 1: family setting, I didn't have anybody to like share my 418 00:18:53,239 --> 00:18:56,199 Speaker 1: feelings with because I wouldn't go to my younger siblings 419 00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:58,719 Speaker 1: for that and my parents and I don't have that dynamic. 420 00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: So then now in a relationship, I don't do that lah. 421 00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,449 Speaker 1: Yeah, or I don't see the need to do that. 422 00:19:03,569 --> 00:19:06,859 Speaker 1: So if I'm dealing with like, I'm struggling with something, right, 423 00:19:06,969 --> 00:19:10,489 Speaker 1: my immediate instinct or reaction is, how do I solve 424 00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:14,300 Speaker 1: this myself? Whereas like for Jess, who is the youngest 425 00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,609 Speaker 1: sibling of three kids, she will be like, why do 426 00:19:17,609 --> 00:19:19,629 Speaker 1: you not tell me this? Like why can you, like, 427 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,329 Speaker 1: why don't you confide in me so that I can 428 00:19:21,329 --> 00:19:22,010 Speaker 1: help you solve it? 429 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:23,969 Speaker 1: But I don't need you to help me to solve. 430 00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,869 Speaker 1: Like I am more than capable of dealing with this myself. 431 00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:27,349 Speaker 1: But it's not 432 00:19:27,349 --> 00:19:29,829 Speaker 2: about your capabilities lah. I think it's just like you 433 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,170 Speaker 2: you don't know what it's like to depend on someone. 434 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah, so for Joey, OK, 435 00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:38,909 Speaker 2: maybe not relationships, but in my friendships or like recently 436 00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:41,829 Speaker 2: I went on a trip to Bali with a group 437 00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 2: of my girlfriends and we were just talking about how 438 00:19:44,439 --> 00:19:44,849 Speaker 2: we are all 439 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 2: So different because we all also have very different birth orders. 440 00:19:47,609 --> 00:19:49,170 Speaker 2: Then I asked them, I was like, OK, can you 441 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,810 Speaker 2: please explain to me the only child thing? And they 442 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:54,079 Speaker 2: were telling me like, look, we are here in Bali 443 00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:57,089 Speaker 2: for what? 4 days. You brought a Polaroid, a coloring book, 444 00:19:57,170 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 2: a junk journal, your color pencils, your glue tape, everything 445 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,839 Speaker 2: to entertain yourself and to entertain everybody because to you, 446 00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:06,649 Speaker 2: you are in charge of like making sure you have 447 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:07,329 Speaker 2: a good time. 448 00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:10,458 Speaker 2: But for them, because they have siblings, everywhere they go, 449 00:20:10,469 --> 00:20:12,109 Speaker 2: it's like a oh we'll talk in the car. We 450 00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:14,150 Speaker 2: have someone to talk to. Like I bring so many 451 00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,989 Speaker 2: kinds of wired headphone, Bluetooth headphone in case it's a 452 00:20:15,989 --> 00:20:18,790 Speaker 2: battery die. Like I make sure that I have a 453 00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:21,389 Speaker 2: lot of forms of entertainment to choose from just so 454 00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:24,390 Speaker 2: I never feel bored or alone. And that's when I realized, OK, 455 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:25,229 Speaker 2: I really 456 00:20:25,819 --> 00:20:29,489 Speaker 2: Unconsciously do all these things because I don't have a sibling. 457 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:33,930 Speaker 2: It is like self-entertaining, making sure that I'm self-sufficient in 458 00:20:33,930 --> 00:20:36,389 Speaker 2: the entertainment department. I never thought of it like that 459 00:20:36,699 --> 00:20:38,959 Speaker 2: because I mean, yeah, growing up you always had someone 460 00:20:38,959 --> 00:20:41,859 Speaker 2: else to talk to and like play with and like 461 00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:44,659 Speaker 2: vibe with. That's actually a very interesting perspective. 462 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:46,910 Speaker 1: Question 463 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,790 Speaker 1: Oh, I go first because you guess. 464 00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:50,489 Speaker 2: I 465 00:20:50,489 --> 00:20:54,819 Speaker 2: guess I always wear sunglasses too big for your face 466 00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,198 Speaker 2: or shoes that are too small. 467 00:20:56,770 --> 00:21:05,020 Speaker 1: Sunglasses. 468 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:05,229 Speaker 2: It's a vibe, it's a really like shoes that are 469 00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:05,339 Speaker 2: too small. blisters. 470 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:07,449 Speaker 1: Only being able to eat food that is frozen or 471 00:21:07,449 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: only eat food that is spicy, spicy lah, really? 472 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 2: Do you just have like constant diarrhea. 473 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:16,890 Speaker 1: No, but you will get like freaking spicy, like you're 474 00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: perspiring every single versus like frozen, 475 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:27,819 Speaker 2: frozen frozen. We just like gas lit him 476 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:31,949 Speaker 1: accidentally laugh loudly in serious conversations or accidentally yawn when 477 00:21:31,949 --> 00:21:32,869 Speaker 1: someone's crying. 478 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: Wow, 479 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 2: I feel like 480 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:35,579 Speaker 2: you've done either one of these. 481 00:21:35,839 --> 00:21:36,319 Speaker 1: No, I've done 482 00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:40,150 Speaker 1: both. Yawn when someone is crying. I've done both for sure. 483 00:21:40,319 --> 00:21:42,479 Speaker 1: I think yawn when someone's crying. I think so. Then 484 00:21:42,479 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: I'll be like, it's not about you crying. It's about 485 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,410 Speaker 1: me being. I'm just very tired. Yeah, I'm just you 486 00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:49,790 Speaker 1: can do the yawning hack, the one that actually, but 487 00:21:49,790 --> 00:21:51,079 Speaker 1: Joey always called me out on it. Yeah, 488 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 2: he 489 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,919 Speaker 1: did it just now. I so. 490 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,250 Speaker 1: Then the eyes will be my eyes will be. 491 00:22:03,430 --> 00:22:09,750 Speaker 1: Anyway, we have a bunch of theories about the best pairings. Oh, like, 492 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:13,270 Speaker 1: you know, dating dating pairings. OK, so some people think 493 00:22:13,270 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: that the youngest son and oldest daughter is the best, 494 00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:18,069 Speaker 1: one of the better combination, what they all feel. 495 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:19,218 Speaker 2: I do not agree. 496 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 2: Because I feel like younger son wants wants to be 497 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 2: mothered and the oldest daughter, she is a mother. No, 498 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:26,718 Speaker 2: that's why 499 00:22:26,719 --> 00:22:27,949 Speaker 1: it's a good combination because 500 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:32,430 Speaker 2: they know I don't think it's set up. Yeah, I 501 00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:34,750 Speaker 2: don't think it's a good combination set up for 502 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:35,089 Speaker 2: success. 503 00:22:35,239 --> 00:22:37,478 Speaker 1: So one point about this is because the son, the 504 00:22:37,479 --> 00:22:40,319 Speaker 1: youngest son will usually show more affection. 505 00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:44,949 Speaker 1: As compared to an elder son. That's the reason. I 506 00:22:44,949 --> 00:22:48,750 Speaker 1: don't agree because there's a third party involved here which 507 00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:49,979 Speaker 1: is the mother-in-law. 508 00:22:50,349 --> 00:22:51,060 Speaker 2: Oh, 509 00:22:51,199 --> 00:22:51,869 Speaker 2: it's true. Oh my 510 00:22:51,869 --> 00:22:52,030 Speaker 2: gosh, 511 00:22:52,469 --> 00:22:55,229 Speaker 1: the youngest son, right? The youngest son, right, is going 512 00:22:55,229 --> 00:22:57,708 Speaker 1: to be a mama's boy. That means very attached to 513 00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:03,699 Speaker 1: the mother and then like the oldest daughter, AKA wife 514 00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:06,589 Speaker 1: will need to go and deal with the mother-in-law. And 515 00:23:06,589 --> 00:23:08,589 Speaker 1: then the worst combination is older son. 516 00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:12,045 Speaker 1: An oldest daughter, too independent, then they just cannot stand 517 00:23:12,045 --> 00:23:12,645 Speaker 1: each other, is it? 518 00:23:12,655 --> 00:23:17,045 Speaker 2: I feel like that could be successful if their prefrontal 519 00:23:17,045 --> 00:23:20,204 Speaker 2: lobes have developed, right? I feel like they will navigate 520 00:23:20,204 --> 00:23:22,474 Speaker 2: their relationship well. They could be power couple. 521 00:23:24,165 --> 00:23:26,804 Speaker 1: They are successful individually and then they come together, then 522 00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:32,525 Speaker 1: they're like strong. Only child should date older siblings. True 523 00:23:32,525 --> 00:23:33,525 Speaker 1: or false for 524 00:23:33,525 --> 00:23:35,875 Speaker 2: Charlie. Charlie is a younger brother, 525 00:23:37,005 --> 00:23:37,564 Speaker 1: youngest. 526 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,540 Speaker 2: He has a younger la. He only has one older brother, 527 00:23:41,890 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 1: then that's OK. 528 00:23:44,729 --> 00:23:47,839 Speaker 1: You're, you're dating, right? Yes. What's his birth order? 529 00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:48,909 Speaker 2: He's a youngest. 530 00:23:49,069 --> 00:23:49,989 Speaker 1: Let me do some calculation. 531 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,300 Speaker 2: Middle and youngest. 532 00:23:51,780 --> 00:23:53,389 Speaker 1: That's the perfect pairing. 533 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 2: 98%. He has two older sisters, so he was very 534 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 2: close to them growing up. So I think they will 535 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 2: share a lot and they talk a lot. So for 536 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 2: me when I entered the relationship, right, I was very 537 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,229 Speaker 2: like I kept to myself when I was going through things, 538 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,050 Speaker 2: I'm just like, you know, I'll figure it out myself. 539 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,589 Speaker 2: My tag line line is I'll figure it out full stop. 540 00:24:14,079 --> 00:24:16,329 Speaker 2: Like it's not a, we're not speaking French, no we, 541 00:24:16,349 --> 00:24:16,489 Speaker 2: you know, 542 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 2: that 543 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:16,719 Speaker 1: kind 544 00:24:16,719 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 2: of thing. 545 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:18,969 Speaker 1: So it seems like the only one that doesn't figure 546 00:24:18,969 --> 00:24:21,270 Speaker 1: things out themselves is the youngest la. Say that again. 547 00:24:22,109 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: It seems like the only one that doesn't figure things 548 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,379 Speaker 1: out themselves is the youngest one. So you're talking about me, right? 549 00:24:26,819 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: What do you think about me because Joey says like, yeah, 550 00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: I was alone and figure things out myself. Oh, I 551 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,270 Speaker 1: was ignored myself. I'm the oldest one, cannot depend on 552 00:24:33,270 --> 00:24:34,649 Speaker 1: anybody so I need to figure things out myself. 553 00:24:37,630 --> 00:24:39,790 Speaker 1: What's your impression? What I mean, you all know me 554 00:24:39,790 --> 00:24:41,810 Speaker 1: for some time. Do you feel that? No, I don't 555 00:24:41,810 --> 00:24:44,030 Speaker 1: have that tendency. No, I don't believe in birth 556 00:24:44,030 --> 00:24:44,310 Speaker 1: order. 557 00:24:44,430 --> 00:24:48,729 Speaker 2: You give me better vibes, but also it could be 558 00:24:48,729 --> 00:24:53,670 Speaker 2: because you have learned or been made to feel like 559 00:24:53,670 --> 00:24:56,030 Speaker 2: you are a burden, so you never want for that 560 00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:58,669 Speaker 2: to ever come across in social situations. 561 00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:00,332 Speaker 2: And so you've adapted so that was a read. 562 00:25:03,133 --> 00:25:06,811 Speaker 1: another pairing, right? What if both youngest it's like completely 563 00:25:06,811 --> 00:25:10,483 Speaker 1: useless household. I think are you calling me useless right 564 00:25:10,483 --> 00:25:10,613 Speaker 1: now both there like how but the Google is on. 565 00:25:10,662 --> 00:25:19,282 Speaker 1: What time they close man. No, but at the same 566 00:25:19,282 --> 00:25:20,353 Speaker 1: time I feel like it could be a very 567 00:25:20,406 --> 00:25:25,234 Speaker 1: Fun relationship. Yeah, because usually the youngest are more adventurous 568 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:28,075 Speaker 1: and free-spirited. So I think that their dates or the 569 00:25:28,076 --> 00:25:30,676 Speaker 1: things that they do would be more spontaneous. As long 570 00:25:30,676 --> 00:25:34,305 Speaker 1: as they both are like comfortable with like things going wrong. 571 00:25:35,586 --> 00:25:36,755 Speaker 1: I mean because it's like if you are the kind 572 00:25:36,755 --> 00:25:39,345 Speaker 1: that you are the youngest, but then like something goes wrong, right, 573 00:25:39,436 --> 00:25:42,095 Speaker 1: then you like upset that the things go wrong, right? 574 00:25:42,586 --> 00:25:44,645 Speaker 1: And why you never sort this out then cannot lah. 575 00:25:44,796 --> 00:25:47,026 Speaker 1: But if you're the kind that like ha ha yeah, 576 00:25:47,316 --> 00:25:48,436 Speaker 1: the flight never booked. 577 00:25:51,069 --> 00:25:53,390 Speaker 2: OK, then that triggered me so I feel like you're, 578 00:25:53,550 --> 00:25:55,390 Speaker 2: are you a planner? I'm a planner. Yeah, you give 579 00:25:55,390 --> 00:25:57,979 Speaker 2: planner energy. This hypothetical person of like I didn't never mind. 580 00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:58,020 Speaker 2: I feel like, 581 00:25:59,839 --> 00:26:01,909 Speaker 1: yeah, so if like if both like passenger 582 00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 1: princess, 583 00:26:08,890 --> 00:26:08,949 Speaker 2: right, then, then they 584 00:26:08,949 --> 00:26:10,180 Speaker 1: just get Tesla the self-driving, yeah, so if you're both, 585 00:26:10,270 --> 00:26:12,380 Speaker 1: if you're both passenger princess, it's OK as long as 586 00:26:12,380 --> 00:26:15,140 Speaker 1: you are both comfortable with never getting to the destination. 587 00:26:15,969 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: But if like the car not moving, yeah, but if 588 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: you both like want to be passenger princess, but at 589 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: the same time one thing's done right, then. OK 590 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,198 Speaker 2: lah, la, maybe the two youngest because they've been underestimated, 591 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 2: they both end up being like super independent, then they 592 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,550 Speaker 2: can be power couples. Anyone can be a power couple lah. 593 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,079 Speaker 2: Actually I'm very curious. Do you think people with siblings 594 00:26:36,079 --> 00:26:36,958 Speaker 2: manage arguments 595 00:26:36,959 --> 00:26:37,510 Speaker 2: better? 596 00:26:37,839 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 1: Because they argue with each other, is it like you 597 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,060 Speaker 1: got someone to practice with yeah yeah yeah yeah. Practice 598 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:44,750 Speaker 1: makes perfect. So I know of an only child. 599 00:26:45,420 --> 00:26:49,140 Speaker 1: They don't really have social awareness or like very strong 600 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:51,819 Speaker 1: EQ so they can't really read the room whether people 601 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,900 Speaker 1: are unhappy or are they happy. And then this person 602 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:58,089 Speaker 1: is always entitled to want things to go their way. 603 00:26:58,380 --> 00:27:00,739 Speaker 1: So because of that, that's why I would think that 604 00:27:00,739 --> 00:27:04,380 Speaker 1: people with siblings know how to work human relationships better. 605 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: Because there's practice growing up. But then there are people 606 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,599 Speaker 1: that I know with siblings, right? And then they they 607 00:27:11,599 --> 00:27:15,839 Speaker 1: have a very terrible control when it comes to conflicts 608 00:27:15,839 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 1: with their siblings. Like it's always screaming, shouting. They don't 609 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,669 Speaker 1: know how to stay calm and and have a proper 610 00:27:22,010 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: mature conversation. Again, it can go both ways lah. 611 00:27:25,239 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 2: OK, I do agree for like the personality part. 612 00:27:27,949 --> 00:27:32,859 Speaker 2: That having siblings kind of molds your personalities because when 613 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,939 Speaker 2: you have siblings, there's people to bounce jokes off and 614 00:27:35,939 --> 00:27:38,030 Speaker 2: you like you guys are like on the same wavelength 615 00:27:38,030 --> 00:27:40,379 Speaker 2: or like there's certain things that you get, you understand 616 00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:43,099 Speaker 2: the meme together, that sort of thing, whereas I don't 617 00:27:43,099 --> 00:27:45,130 Speaker 2: know how it was for you as an only child, like, 618 00:27:45,459 --> 00:27:46,349 Speaker 2: do you find 619 00:27:46,859 --> 00:27:49,300 Speaker 2: Maybe more so in like a personality sense like you 620 00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:52,380 Speaker 2: had a tough time developing a personality or like was 621 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:54,619 Speaker 2: it more like Maddie knew who she was from a 622 00:27:54,619 --> 00:27:55,780 Speaker 2: young age I 623 00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:58,689 Speaker 1: knew who she was. Yeah, I knew my room. 624 00:27:58,979 --> 00:28:01,880 Speaker 2: Lizzie McGuire. I did groom Lizzie McGuire and groomed 625 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:02,599 Speaker 1: my room. Yeah, 626 00:28:02,979 --> 00:28:06,339 Speaker 2: me too. What was your theme? I was it was 627 00:28:06,339 --> 00:28:09,139 Speaker 2: a music themed room. Oh my God. Wait, was your 628 00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:13,500 Speaker 2: host Melody? No, mine was Kimberly, Kimberly Kim Walkerman 629 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:13,979 Speaker 2: Wakeman 630 00:28:13,979 --> 00:28:14,420 Speaker 1: Walkerman. 631 00:28:14,814 --> 00:28:15,675 Speaker 1: My childhood crush. 632 00:28:16,724 --> 00:28:16,843 Speaker 2: OK, 633 00:28:16,885 --> 00:28:18,685 Speaker 1: it's not about you, right? It's not them. Just kidding. 634 00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,925 Speaker 1: Just now I mentioned about how most of the time 635 00:28:22,925 --> 00:28:25,764 Speaker 1: I could solve my conflicts with my siblings, right? Have 636 00:28:25,765 --> 00:28:28,444 Speaker 1: you guys fought with your siblings and ended up not 637 00:28:28,444 --> 00:28:30,395 Speaker 1: being able to resolve the problem 638 00:28:30,765 --> 00:28:32,484 Speaker 2: when you're young, you kind of like throw things under 639 00:28:32,484 --> 00:28:35,014 Speaker 2: the rug because like when you fight it's not, it's 640 00:28:35,165 --> 00:28:39,765 Speaker 2: so little, like it's not gonna like damage your life, right? 641 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:42,244 Speaker 2: Like who ate the food or like who wear your clothes, 642 00:28:42,285 --> 00:28:42,805 Speaker 2: that kind of thing. 643 00:28:43,239 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 2: Now when you become adults then it starts to change 644 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,430 Speaker 2: where like, oh, you, you wear my clothes, never ask me, 645 00:28:49,719 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 2: you don't respect me. Like it starts to become deeper, yeah, 646 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 2: and then it takes longer to resolve, whereas when you're 647 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: a kid it's like never mind go downstairs, play, then 648 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,319 Speaker 2: you're happy already, then you go home, you sleep, but 649 00:29:02,319 --> 00:29:04,869 Speaker 2: now it's like I'm petty like. 650 00:29:05,229 --> 00:29:07,219 Speaker 2: I got a vendetta against you now because you did 651 00:29:07,219 --> 00:29:09,020 Speaker 2: this thing against me, that kind of thing. But I 652 00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:11,619 Speaker 2: feel like maybe for me, I take it more to 653 00:29:11,619 --> 00:29:13,819 Speaker 2: heart now than I did as a kid. 654 00:29:13,979 --> 00:29:14,300 Speaker 1: I haven't 655 00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:16,369 Speaker 1: had an argument with my siblings in a long time. 656 00:29:16,420 --> 00:29:19,339 Speaker 1: I mean, there were moments where we had tension while 657 00:29:19,339 --> 00:29:23,339 Speaker 1: we were talking about something, but then I'm a very 658 00:29:23,339 --> 00:29:25,660 Speaker 1: to each his own kind of person. Like if my 659 00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,540 Speaker 1: brother says something and my sister doesn't agree, I'm just 660 00:29:27,540 --> 00:29:29,579 Speaker 1: like just let it go. Or my sister says something 661 00:29:29,579 --> 00:29:31,099 Speaker 1: that I don't agree, I'm just like, OK. 662 00:29:32,089 --> 00:29:35,239 Speaker 1: Let's move on. I don't want to end up arguing 663 00:29:35,810 --> 00:29:39,079 Speaker 1: at this grown age, like, don't need lah, waste time, 664 00:29:39,089 --> 00:29:40,010 Speaker 1: you know. OK, 665 00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:42,010 Speaker 2: so on top of that, do you guys think that 666 00:29:42,010 --> 00:29:45,969 Speaker 2: having siblings has helped you with empathy and emotional intelligence? 667 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,969 Speaker 1: I think I learned it from my brother as much 668 00:29:48,969 --> 00:29:49,619 Speaker 1: as 669 00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:53,069 Speaker 1: My parents have enabled that leave the dishes in the 670 00:29:53,069 --> 00:29:55,579 Speaker 1: same kind of habit. He was a very good brother. 671 00:29:55,709 --> 00:29:59,109 Speaker 1: Growing up, right? PlayStation. He was playing Final Fantasy and 672 00:29:59,109 --> 00:30:01,660 Speaker 1: it was like the last bit of the whole game. 673 00:30:02,869 --> 00:30:06,530 Speaker 1: I overwrite his memory card. I would have been so upset. 674 00:30:06,630 --> 00:30:09,739 Speaker 1: And immediately I, I was like, I started crying. I 675 00:30:09,739 --> 00:30:12,050 Speaker 1: cried eh. Not my brother cried. I cried and I 676 00:30:12,050 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 1: was like, sorry Coco, sorry, sorry, sorry. Then I was 677 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,369 Speaker 1: so guilty. I ran into my room, I locked myself 678 00:30:16,369 --> 00:30:18,069 Speaker 1: up and then I didn't come out for the whole day. 679 00:30:18,130 --> 00:30:20,290 Speaker 1: But then he came to the door and kept knocking 680 00:30:20,290 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: on the door and said, it's OK, I forgive you, 681 00:30:22,010 --> 00:30:24,369 Speaker 1: it's OK. Don't don't cry anymore, don't cry anymore. Then 682 00:30:24,369 --> 00:30:26,300 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, Michael, God damn nice to me. 683 00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:28,969 Speaker 1: I'm like, till this day, I'm so sorry to my brother. 684 00:30:29,442 --> 00:30:31,822 Speaker 1: But he managed to finish the game afterwards. I tell 685 00:30:31,822 --> 00:30:34,172 Speaker 1: you why he did that. It's because he, he know, 686 00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:36,383 Speaker 1: like if your parents see you crying, right, then he will, 687 00:30:36,422 --> 00:30:40,103 Speaker 1: they will blame him. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't, don't. No, 688 00:30:40,182 --> 00:30:44,973 Speaker 1: I think my brother really just saw how guilty and how, how, 689 00:30:45,542 --> 00:30:49,062 Speaker 1: how old was he? I was like maybe 78, and then, yeah, 690 00:30:49,103 --> 00:30:51,633 Speaker 1: I was just playing like simple games. Then his memory 691 00:30:51,633 --> 00:30:53,072 Speaker 1: card here, my memory card here, right in the. 692 00:30:53,206 --> 00:30:57,965 Speaker 1: Slot, right? Over right, wrong la. Human mistake, oopsy. Y'all 693 00:30:57,965 --> 00:31:00,806 Speaker 1: know how bad that was. He took, he took months to. No, yeah, 694 00:31:00,895 --> 00:31:02,125 Speaker 1: because last time you were in school you got no 695 00:31:02,125 --> 00:31:02,755 Speaker 1: time to play, I'm so sorry. Oh my God. 696 00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:08,666 Speaker 2: I think it's because you were so sorry that he 697 00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:11,395 Speaker 2: knew like, OK, it's not, but if you were like, oh, 698 00:31:11,406 --> 00:31:13,086 Speaker 2: then you just play again, I think that he 699 00:31:13,086 --> 00:31:16,005 Speaker 1: was crying was a good movie. I think if he 700 00:31:16,005 --> 00:31:18,816 Speaker 1: screamed at me, right, I probably will be a different 701 00:31:18,816 --> 00:31:21,556 Speaker 1: person today. Just kidding. For me, I think no. 702 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:26,369 Speaker 1: I feel like I, I was quite a free-spirited child 703 00:31:26,699 --> 00:31:29,420 Speaker 1: that lived my like my own life. I think my 704 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:33,140 Speaker 1: parents never burdened me with like I need to go 705 00:31:33,140 --> 00:31:36,660 Speaker 1: and like care for the basic needs of my siblings. Like, 706 00:31:36,699 --> 00:31:38,099 Speaker 1: you know, I know some people they're like, oh, they 707 00:31:38,099 --> 00:31:40,979 Speaker 1: need to go and tapao food for their their siblings 708 00:31:41,780 --> 00:31:43,979 Speaker 1: or like pick them up after school or like and 709 00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:46,420 Speaker 1: and or help them with homework and all that, so 710 00:31:46,420 --> 00:31:47,050 Speaker 1: I never. 711 00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:50,739 Speaker 1: I was never like burdened with those responsibilities. I feel 712 00:31:50,739 --> 00:31:53,609 Speaker 1: like they, my parents did a good job in letting 713 00:31:53,609 --> 00:31:57,319 Speaker 1: me like let my personality develop independently. 714 00:31:57,569 --> 00:31:58,260 Speaker 2: I feel like 715 00:31:59,229 --> 00:32:03,439 Speaker 2: Because of the way I was brought up, now I'm 716 00:32:03,439 --> 00:32:07,189 Speaker 2: a lot more like rebellious because of like how I 717 00:32:07,189 --> 00:32:11,349 Speaker 2: felt like I was like kept. I don't know, now 718 00:32:11,349 --> 00:32:14,670 Speaker 2: it's like anybody say anything to me I shoot you 719 00:32:14,670 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 2: or like you don't talk to me like that. They 720 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,989 Speaker 2: kind of like, yeah, I, I, I talk back a 721 00:32:18,989 --> 00:32:21,229 Speaker 2: lot now mom and dad. 722 00:32:21,729 --> 00:32:23,449 Speaker 2: When I was young, I would have never done any 723 00:32:23,449 --> 00:32:24,890 Speaker 2: of that. I would have just like take it, OK, 724 00:32:24,969 --> 00:32:27,260 Speaker 2: I need to change this. I need to, I don't 725 00:32:27,260 --> 00:32:28,770 Speaker 2: know why you're saying this to me, but never mind, 726 00:32:28,810 --> 00:32:31,489 Speaker 2: I just like do it. Um, so I don't know 727 00:32:31,489 --> 00:32:35,319 Speaker 2: if that qualifies as being emotionally intelligent, but I do 728 00:32:35,319 --> 00:32:37,650 Speaker 2: feel like there is a certain way that I behave 729 00:32:37,650 --> 00:32:40,410 Speaker 2: now because of how I was so like. 730 00:32:41,089 --> 00:32:44,369 Speaker 2: Overlooked as a child, or when I enter a room, 731 00:32:44,410 --> 00:32:48,449 Speaker 2: my eyes usually like gravitate to the person that's like 732 00:32:48,449 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 2: by themselves, so you want to like make sure that 733 00:32:50,930 --> 00:32:53,489 Speaker 2: that person's like not alone and like taking care of 734 00:32:53,489 --> 00:32:55,689 Speaker 2: because you're like, I know how it feels to be 735 00:32:55,689 --> 00:32:58,530 Speaker 2: you babes, been through that. So you're like, OK, let 736 00:32:58,530 --> 00:33:00,329 Speaker 2: me like look out for you or let me like 737 00:33:00,329 --> 00:33:01,810 Speaker 2: find out, Are you OK or you just want to 738 00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:04,410 Speaker 2: be left alone like sure, but I never want to 739 00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 2: make someone feel less than. 740 00:33:06,650 --> 00:33:09,369 Speaker 2: OK, so we've had a lot of talk about the 741 00:33:09,369 --> 00:33:12,729 Speaker 2: different personality traits of birth orders, but I think we 742 00:33:12,729 --> 00:33:16,369 Speaker 2: can all agree that they don't apply to everybody. There's 743 00:33:16,369 --> 00:33:19,089 Speaker 2: no like one specific accurate one because we all come 744 00:33:19,089 --> 00:33:25,849 Speaker 2: from different backgrounds, different um cultures, different circumstances and yeah, 745 00:33:25,890 --> 00:33:29,089 Speaker 2: you really cannot just assume what someone is like just 746 00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:30,849 Speaker 2: based on their birth orders. So just get to know 747 00:33:30,849 --> 00:33:32,310 Speaker 2: the person for who they are. I think. 748 00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:35,439 Speaker 2: Um, only children are sick of being known as only children. 749 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 2: Same with younger siblings and middle child and elder. Is 750 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 2: that all? That's all, yes. So get to know people 751 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,719 Speaker 2: for who they are and yeah, don't hold anything over 752 00:33:45,719 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 2: their heads if they don't exist. 753 00:33:48,579 --> 00:33:50,729 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for watching this episode of The Hot Pot. 754 00:33:50,770 --> 00:33:53,329 Speaker 1: You can listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcast and 755 00:33:53,329 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 2: Me Listen and subscribe to us if you haven't already. 756 00:33:56,369 --> 00:33:58,489 Speaker 1: Remember to comment down below as well as your birth 757 00:33:58,489 --> 00:34:01,650 Speaker 1: order and your stereotypes, like, are they true for you 758 00:34:01,650 --> 00:34:02,060 Speaker 1: or not? Mm. 759 00:34:03,130 --> 00:34:05,689 Speaker 2: And thank you so much to Nancy for sharing all this. 760 00:34:06,449 --> 00:34:07,180 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me 761 00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:11,408 Speaker 1: guys. And we'll see you guys on the next episode. Bye. OK, 762 00:34:11,489 --> 00:34:14,489 Speaker 2: so today we're gonna be talking about birth orders and 763 00:34:14,489 --> 00:34:14,979 Speaker 2: how 764 00:34:15,789 --> 00:34:18,388 Speaker 2: She's gonna say it, she's gonna get to it. 765 00:34:18,549 --> 00:34:21,229 Speaker 1: One with a side of we don't laugh, then 766 00:34:21,229 --> 00:34:21,428 Speaker 2: nobody 767 00:34:21,428 --> 00:34:21,519 Speaker 2: will laugh.