1 00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:03,530 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Clarity's. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:10,180 Speaker 2: So we know you love it when we discuss this topic, sex. 3 00:00:10,190 --> 00:00:13,940 Speaker 2: And in the previous episode, we discuss sex, physical intimacy 4 00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:16,980 Speaker 2: and the whole nine yards. Sorry, nine interest is already 5 00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:19,570 Speaker 2: too much to ask for what nine yards? That's a 6 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 2: bit too much. But today we're going to dive in 7 00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:26,829 Speaker 2: a little bit deeper set expectations, especially when it comes 8 00:00:26,829 --> 00:00:31,740 Speaker 2: to dating and on the first date. Oh, expectations. Okay. 9 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:32,890 Speaker 2: Here's a little disclaimer 10 00:00:32,906 --> 00:00:35,156 Speaker 2: first on sexual consent. Make sure you always ask for 11 00:00:35,156 --> 00:00:37,497 Speaker 2: sexual consent. We always say this okay if you are 12 00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:40,626 Speaker 2: going to engage in any kind of sexual activity. Um 13 00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:43,177 Speaker 2: There's only one way to know for sure if someone 14 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,697 Speaker 2: has given you their consent, they tell it to you 15 00:00:45,707 --> 00:00:48,817 Speaker 2: and they're not intoxicated or not able to give their 16 00:00:48,817 --> 00:00:53,556 Speaker 2: consent any kind of advance if it's non consensual is 17 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:56,717 Speaker 2: against the law disclaimer over. So in this age of 18 00:00:56,727 --> 00:00:59,877 Speaker 2: digital swipes Tinder and your Hinge and Bumble 19 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,664 Speaker 2: and Coffee meets, there are a lot of apps I 20 00:01:02,674 --> 00:01:05,804 Speaker 2: can't even keep up with them. Is that Hinge Hinge 21 00:01:06,194 --> 00:01:08,524 Speaker 2: Hinge here? Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember someone was telling 22 00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:11,114 Speaker 2: me that they were on hinge. Sex on the first 23 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:15,244 Speaker 2: day is still, I guess still a topic of controversy 24 00:01:15,254 --> 00:01:18,693 Speaker 2: in our society. Let me ask you girls. Is it 25 00:01:18,694 --> 00:01:21,244 Speaker 2: okay to have sex on the first day? Sex? Not 26 00:01:21,244 --> 00:01:23,814 Speaker 2: just like intimacy, not just holding hands, sex? 27 00:01:23,824 --> 00:01:26,864 Speaker 1: Well, I think if the relationship or like, you know, 28 00:01:26,881 --> 00:01:29,621 Speaker 1: you have dinner before, you know, the sexual intimacy, right? 29 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,601 Speaker 1: If the dinner goes well, you feel like you can 30 00:01:31,601 --> 00:01:33,110 Speaker 1: click with this person and you want to have the 31 00:01:33,111 --> 00:01:38,431 Speaker 1: same frequency you have dessert. That's right. Okay. Okay. 32 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:40,921 Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. I 33 00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:42,001 Speaker 1: think it's fine. Okay. 34 00:01:42,011 --> 00:01:43,811 Speaker 2: If you hit it off, what about you? I think 35 00:01:43,811 --> 00:01:45,961 Speaker 2: if you wanted sure, like 36 00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:48,011 Speaker 1: consent, right? We mentioned is key. Okay. 37 00:01:48,011 --> 00:01:50,661 Speaker 2: Consent is key. Yes. If you want to have dessert, 38 00:01:50,671 --> 00:01:53,211 Speaker 2: just make sure dessert sweet. I don't know what 39 00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,860 Speaker 2: but yeah, when you go on a date sometimes, you know, 40 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,780 Speaker 2: you have a few drinks, sometimes you have good conversation, 41 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:03,210 Speaker 2: you have this physical attraction to the person. Um then 42 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,850 Speaker 2: you kind of want to advance a little bit more, right? 43 00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 2: So I can't remember honestly the last time I was 44 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,270 Speaker 2: on a first date, I think I've only been on 45 00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: one first date in my life. What do you mean? 46 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 2: I don't go on dates, right? If I go on 47 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,190 Speaker 2: a date, let me be clear. 48 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,809 Speaker 2: If I go on a date, I'm not sleeping with 49 00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 2: you on the first date because if I make the 50 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: effort to go on a date with you. That means 51 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:25,109 Speaker 2: that 52 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,460 Speaker 2: I'm putting effort to want something more. I only look 53 00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:31,660 Speaker 2: up with you on the first interaction if it's not 54 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 2: a date, you know what I mean? You 55 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: know, but who says it can't be both a first 56 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,630 Speaker 1: date and something really intimate because it's definitely 57 00:02:40,630 --> 00:02:41,570 Speaker 2: not, the first day is in a 58 00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: bit, you know, it can be an extension, you know, 59 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,990 Speaker 1: like the first day you guys go out for dinner 60 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,540 Speaker 1: movies and then the extension comes in. But 61 00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:52,350 Speaker 2: I don't want to be easy on the first date. 62 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 2: If I go on a date with you, 63 00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,810 Speaker 2: like at least second or third day, then, you know, 64 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,950 Speaker 2: will advance into something physical. But 65 00:02:58,950 --> 00:03:03,230 Speaker 1: has it never happened? Like, not according to expectations, like 66 00:03:03,230 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: if you're on the first date, we're not having sex, 67 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,820 Speaker 2: but I've only had one first. Okay. 68 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:11,490 Speaker 1: Okay. And that really went according to like how you 69 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:11,970 Speaker 1: planned it to 70 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:15,980 Speaker 2: be, went out for ramen and then went home. That's 71 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:17,740 Speaker 2: it no more. After 72 00:03:18,910 --> 00:03:20,470 Speaker 1: what? Flavor? 73 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,989 Speaker 2: No, like I've only had one first date. I don't 74 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: know about you girls. Like when you go on first dates, right? 75 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 2: Do you have, do you set like physical or, you know, 76 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 2: some sort of physical boundaries? 77 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,580 Speaker 1: What is very interesting because I feel like for me, 78 00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: boundaries are flexible, a bit of an oxymoron. Okay. But 79 00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:44,150 Speaker 1: let's say you have different kinds of boundaries, right? The 80 00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,770 Speaker 1: very basic one beginning with I'll do nothing more than 81 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:49,370 Speaker 1: hold his hands. The second one, maybe I'll do nothing 82 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,869 Speaker 1: more than, like kiss. Right. And then the third one 83 00:03:51,870 --> 00:03:53,550 Speaker 1: it advances to something a bit more. 84 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,570 Speaker 1: I feel like as the night proceeds, if I get 85 00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,290 Speaker 1: more and more comfortable, my boundaries get like, higher and 86 00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,910 Speaker 1: higher on the tier. You know what I mean? Like, 87 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,730 Speaker 1: the level of acceptance is like, bigger and bigger. 88 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:07,700 Speaker 2: But as long as you decide on that, you know, 89 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,380 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I'll go with it. 90 00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:13,250 Speaker 1: Right. And as long as I'm okay, the other parties, okay. 91 00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:14,700 Speaker 1: Then I don't see an issue. 92 00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,289 Speaker 2: So, have you had sex on the first day? 93 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,170 Speaker 2: Can tell you in private. 94 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:24,609 Speaker 2: We actually have a story here right from one of 95 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:31,050 Speaker 2: our producers, which one please identify yourself and identify yourself really? Okay. 96 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 2: Um It's a story about how, you know, she had 97 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 2: boundaries but in something similar to hazy, right? I guess 98 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,529 Speaker 2: the connection was so good that the boundaries kind of shifted. 99 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,470 Speaker 2: She says during the dating phase of my life, she 100 00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:44,870 Speaker 2: is done dating now. I guess she's off the streets. Yeah, 101 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:49,110 Speaker 2: I said dating boundaries. Okay. No forms of intimacy. We'll 102 00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:51,089 Speaker 2: just talk, we'll go home, we'll see how it is 103 00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 2: because talking is where you really develop that sort of 104 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:53,990 Speaker 2: connection 105 00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:57,300 Speaker 2: and I rarely go on dinner dates as well. So 106 00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:00,060 Speaker 2: supper dates were non existent. I don't want, I met 107 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:02,710 Speaker 2: a guy for supper because he was rarely in town. 108 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 2: So I agreed to it. We clicked instantly. We had 109 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:09,700 Speaker 2: so much fun. The date ended with a key. 110 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:14,310 Speaker 2: I freaked out the next day and I was basically 111 00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:17,429 Speaker 2: beating myself up for breaking my boundaries. And the next 112 00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:19,900 Speaker 2: time that we met, I told him about these rules, 113 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,940 Speaker 2: but obviously it kept getting broken because we already kissed 114 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:24,029 Speaker 2: on that first date. 115 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,930 Speaker 2: Long story short T L D R I stopped meeting 116 00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:30,950 Speaker 2: him because a girl got to protect herself. In retrospect. 117 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,770 Speaker 2: She says actually he wasn't that respectful boundaries. Okay. 118 00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:39,460 Speaker 1: Okay. Very like a genuine question here out of like 119 00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: all due respect. I understand like this boundary set. Could 120 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: it be? Because also she has been giving mixed signals 121 00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,230 Speaker 1: like she set certain boundaries, 122 00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:51,990 Speaker 1: she broke it, which is why the guy thinks that hey, 123 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,570 Speaker 1: maybe it's okay for them to like keep doing. So 124 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,460 Speaker 2: I think right here is the thing that correct me 125 00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 2: if I'm wrong. But here's the thing about guys, right? 126 00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:02,050 Speaker 2: Like when you say no, they'll stop but they'll try us. 127 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:06,100 Speaker 2: Um Well, I think in a, in a sense like that, 128 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:07,909 Speaker 2: you know, she felt that he wasn't going to be 129 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,110 Speaker 2: good for her. So she cut it off. I think 130 00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:12,860 Speaker 2: that is a boundary that we're so proud of you. 131 00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, girl. Well, the point is we can blame a 132 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,670 Speaker 2: lot of things right? For breaking our boundaries, the romantic setting, 133 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,460 Speaker 2: you know, the alcohol, the just, you know, very good 134 00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,540 Speaker 2: chat and all that. But choosing to get intimate on 135 00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:31,060 Speaker 2: the first date is nothing to be ashamed. I fully agree. Yeah. 136 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 2: It's not something that we're like in the good old days, 137 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 2: you know, little maiden to like 138 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 2: we're not in that era anymore. According to some experts, 139 00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 2: there are some merits to having sex on the first date. Okay. 140 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 2: This girl Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and online course creator. 141 00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:54,700 Speaker 2: She said exploring bedroom comparatively from the start can help 142 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,900 Speaker 2: you determine whether you actually want to invest in a 143 00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,969 Speaker 2: relationship with this person. You got to try before you buy, 144 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,390 Speaker 2: you got a test ride before you buy the room room. Oh, 145 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: I 146 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,089 Speaker 1: really have a friend like she was confiding in me 147 00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: and on the first date, something happened basically that guy, 148 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:13,830 Speaker 1: he wasn't 149 00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:17,150 Speaker 1: that great in bed. So this was when my friend 150 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:20,660 Speaker 1: decided that she's going to give up altogether because for one, 151 00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: she doesn't think that they are on the same frequency emotionally. 152 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: And secondly, physically, sex is just not, 153 00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:31,630 Speaker 2: that's happened to you got to try before you buy. 154 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: Like this friend of mine actually started dating the person 155 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:35,340 Speaker 2: already 156 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:39,795 Speaker 2: and like invested emotionally. Um then when they, you know, 157 00:07:39,805 --> 00:07:43,165 Speaker 2: actually hooked up, it was really, really bad, but she 158 00:07:43,165 --> 00:07:45,755 Speaker 2: was already invested emotionally. So it was very complicated. That's 159 00:07:45,755 --> 00:07:48,595 Speaker 2: why sometimes there are merits to you get out of 160 00:07:48,595 --> 00:07:52,015 Speaker 2: the way first then, you know. Okay. Can we explore something? Then? 161 00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:52,375 Speaker 2: How are your 162 00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:53,245 Speaker 1: friends know? 163 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:56,235 Speaker 2: It couldn't, it couldn't work. Not the thing as in, 164 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,790 Speaker 2: wait, what the thing, 165 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,950 Speaker 2: the thing work is in the sex person didn't know 166 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,230 Speaker 2: how to work it. Yeah. The person didn't know how 167 00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:10,470 Speaker 2: to work the thing. Okay. Relationship didn't work out, didn't 168 00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 2: work out, of course. Yeah. So that's what Vanessa says. 169 00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 2: Shannon Chavez, a psychology and certified sex therapist said that 170 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,650 Speaker 2: sex on the first date can be liberating and exciting. 171 00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:26,690 Speaker 2: It can help you break down your personal biases around sexuality. 172 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,050 Speaker 2: It can heal shame from the 173 00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:32,074 Speaker 2: and improve your sexual self esteem, confidence in sex, 174 00:08:32,085 --> 00:08:36,375 Speaker 1: sexual self esteem like that experts, however, also noted that 175 00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:39,415 Speaker 1: before you hop into bait, just make sure you're clear 176 00:08:39,425 --> 00:08:41,835 Speaker 1: on what you're looking for. Is it a relationship or 177 00:08:41,835 --> 00:08:44,045 Speaker 1: is it just a casual hookup? So you can both 178 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:47,074 Speaker 1: make informed choices and be honest about your expectations. 179 00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:49,415 Speaker 2: But also if like sex is bad the first time, 180 00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:52,165 Speaker 2: but you really like the person, it can get better 181 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,865 Speaker 2: with emotional and physical connection. Don't just give up and 182 00:08:54,865 --> 00:08:56,405 Speaker 2: say like, you don't know how to use this thing. 183 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:59,689 Speaker 2: You know, like if you really like the person, it 184 00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:03,699 Speaker 2: gets better over time. Back me up girls. Does it question? 185 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 2: But how come we didn't get better for your friend? 186 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:10,410 Speaker 1: Just exactly what I was going to say? I think 187 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:13,900 Speaker 1: sex gets better with emotions, you know. But how come 188 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:14,220 Speaker 1: it didn't? 189 00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 2: But she tried a few times. It was just like 190 00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:22,630 Speaker 2: it went downhill like that. No, it was up. But 191 00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,809 Speaker 2: then the experience went down 192 00:09:25,970 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 2: okay. You know why? Maybe, maybe different people have different 193 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,660 Speaker 1: expectations, expectations, 194 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 2: true. But you can learn these things. I think I 195 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,740 Speaker 2: truly believe right. There are some people who believe like 196 00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:47,500 Speaker 2: I want to see, see it then 197 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,150 Speaker 1: put in can already done like in and 198 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 2: out burger. Okay. I like the animal price. Oh animal 199 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,660 Speaker 2: animal style. Yeah, 200 00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:00,860 Speaker 2: this we can't get through this episode. Um I mean 201 00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 2: true but then on the other spectrum of it, some 202 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 2: people are like, oh let's go for like 23 hours. 203 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,910 Speaker 2: If I ever encountered someone like that, I'd be like, bro, 204 00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 2: like let me go to sleep. You know, I'm like, 205 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:11,589 Speaker 2: I'm done. 206 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,270 Speaker 2: So it's all about coming to terms, coming to 207 00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,220 Speaker 1: terms, coming to 208 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,020 Speaker 2: terms, but it's your first time and you probably don't 209 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,710 Speaker 2: even know each other because it's the first date, right? 210 00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:21,410 Speaker 2: So like, 211 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,809 Speaker 1: okay, so here's the thing, shouldn't the first time in 212 00:10:23,809 --> 00:10:27,380 Speaker 1: bed be more okay for you to communicate your expectations 213 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: with the other person 214 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 2: because actually no, I feel like the first time I'm 215 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,570 Speaker 2: in bed, I'm a bit more reserved really as time 216 00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,719 Speaker 2: goes by like I always like I say this right. 217 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,449 Speaker 2: I say that 218 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,230 Speaker 2: when you're in a relationship, your your journey with sex 219 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 2: just gets better because you keep, you get more open 220 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,460 Speaker 2: and you communicate about your wants and your desires, the 221 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 2: things you don't like the things you like, you try 222 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,470 Speaker 2: new things with each other and that can only come 223 00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:52,650 Speaker 2: with a level of comfort and trust in each other. 224 00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:52,910 Speaker 2: I 225 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:55,660 Speaker 1: feel like on the other hand, sometimes the more the 226 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,900 Speaker 1: closer you get together with somebody, the harder it is 227 00:10:58,900 --> 00:10:59,940 Speaker 1: to communicate 228 00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:03,287 Speaker 1: some of the desires because you're so used to seeing 229 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,307 Speaker 1: each other. They in they are, you know, your, your lifestyle, 230 00:11:06,307 --> 00:11:09,767 Speaker 1: your habits and when in bed, sometimes it's like something 231 00:11:09,767 --> 00:11:12,407 Speaker 1: different from the daily life. Right? Of course, it's a 232 00:11:12,407 --> 00:11:15,577 Speaker 1: different kind of a desire. So I feel like the 233 00:11:15,577 --> 00:11:19,287 Speaker 1: longer you're together for, it's about old couples, it's so 234 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,997 Speaker 1: hard for them to communicate their desires in 235 00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,100 Speaker 2: bed. But I think we can change the stigma around. 236 00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:25,953 Speaker 2: Like, don't be shy to, if you feel like you 237 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:29,584 Speaker 2: can't communicate, then that's also a problem, right? Because physical intimacy, 238 00:11:29,594 --> 00:11:31,373 Speaker 2: it's not the make it or break it of a 239 00:11:31,374 --> 00:11:34,453 Speaker 2: relationship is an important part of it. But I do 240 00:11:34,453 --> 00:11:37,294 Speaker 2: agree to a certain extent that sex on the first 241 00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:40,434 Speaker 2: date can kind of give you a sense of whether 242 00:11:40,444 --> 00:11:42,654 Speaker 2: you would be a good match. I don't think it's 243 00:11:42,654 --> 00:11:46,123 Speaker 2: the full nine yards, but I do think that it 244 00:11:46,124 --> 00:11:46,260 Speaker 2: is 245 00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:47,101 Speaker 2: important. I 246 00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:49,651 Speaker 1: agree. Sex on the first date. Yes, it can give 247 00:11:49,651 --> 00:11:51,391 Speaker 1: you a good idea whether you and this person are 248 00:11:51,391 --> 00:11:52,381 Speaker 1: a good match or not. But 249 00:11:52,381 --> 00:11:56,001 Speaker 2: I guess, like, first day, second day, third day, not 250 00:11:56,011 --> 00:11:58,661 Speaker 2: to differing. Right. What do you mean? In terms of 251 00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,471 Speaker 2: what I like to have sex on the first day 252 00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:03,391 Speaker 2: or the second or the third day? Yeah. It's not 253 00:12:03,401 --> 00:12:06,591 Speaker 2: as far as, like, I don't know because my love 254 00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:09,429 Speaker 2: language is physical touch. Right. So, that's where I, 255 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,540 Speaker 2: that's why, that's my starting point. Okay? You suck them 256 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:16,429 Speaker 2: up from there. Yes. Yeah. If there's no connection there 257 00:12:16,429 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 2: right then like, I don't even want to pursue it. Right? 258 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,550 Speaker 1: And don't you feel like some sexual intimacy actually helps 259 00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: you feel more emotionally bonded to that person? 260 00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:29,270 Speaker 2: Yeah. I usually find that the post sex chat is 261 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:29,980 Speaker 2: the most 262 00:12:29,995 --> 00:12:33,225 Speaker 2: vulnerable that you can be right or correct 263 00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:36,525 Speaker 1: or the post sex indo me. Post sex in that 264 00:12:36,535 --> 00:12:40,805 Speaker 1: instant noodles. It's so comforting. The post sex food. It's so, 265 00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:43,485 Speaker 1: it's so comforting to just have food and just sit 266 00:12:43,485 --> 00:12:44,995 Speaker 1: down and chat with it. So you 267 00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:45,845 Speaker 2: like dessert, 268 00:12:46,115 --> 00:12:47,375 Speaker 1: dessert first? 269 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:49,995 Speaker 2: Cool. 270 00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:54,770 Speaker 2: Um there are also other people that choose to wait 271 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: for a certain number of weeks, a number of dates, 272 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 2: like some people say don't have sex till the third date. 273 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,810 Speaker 2: Some people say don't have sex till the 10th day. 274 00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:04,590 Speaker 2: It's really up to you what you want that boundary 275 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:06,850 Speaker 2: to be. But some people feel it's better to wait 276 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:09,740 Speaker 2: it out than to have sex immediately. 277 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: Okay. My stance on this is if you feel like 278 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,630 Speaker 1: you're rushing, then don't like, even if it's on the 279 00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:16,030 Speaker 1: first date, 280 00:13:16,043 --> 00:13:18,403 Speaker 1: You feel like it's okay then. Go ahead. No, but 281 00:13:18,403 --> 00:13:21,732 Speaker 1: some people at the 20th day, they might still feel like, 282 00:13:21,743 --> 00:13:24,193 Speaker 1: are we rushing things a bit? So, go with your gut. 283 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,982 Speaker 1: It really boils down to the chemistry 284 00:13:28,243 --> 00:13:31,663 Speaker 2: you feel. Exactly. Yeah. There's this third rule that I 285 00:13:31,663 --> 00:13:34,512 Speaker 2: was talking about earlier. It's a dating rule of dating 286 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:38,252 Speaker 2: etiquette that I guess maybe in western culture, it's more 287 00:13:38,253 --> 00:13:40,643 Speaker 2: practice where you wait to sleep together 288 00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:46,266 Speaker 2: Until at least the third day culture. Not 30 minutes, man, 289 00:13:46,476 --> 00:13:50,876 Speaker 2: 30 minutes, 30 minutes after meeting. Let's go. But what 290 00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:53,846 Speaker 2: is the, you know, the rationale behind that is that 291 00:13:53,856 --> 00:13:56,946 Speaker 2: you can then have sex without worrying about being like abandoned, 292 00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:59,816 Speaker 2: like just, you know, have sex and go kind of thing. 293 00:13:59,826 --> 00:14:03,096 Speaker 2: So it's not like you're using me kind of situation, 294 00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:05,256 Speaker 2: but actually emotionally invested. But honestly 295 00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:08,719 Speaker 2: please, any guy would go on three days with you 296 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,100 Speaker 2: if that means getting in your pants, it's like not 297 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 2: a big thing for them. They won't do it. But 298 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,380 Speaker 2: some reasons why those who believe that sex on the 299 00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 2: first day is a bad idea. We have to talk 300 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,810 Speaker 2: about both sides, right? Sex on the first day is 301 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,740 Speaker 2: a bad idea because it could possibly just be a 302 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:25,990 Speaker 2: one time thing where if you're expecting more, but 303 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,990 Speaker 2: they are only expecting that one time 304 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: it breaks your heart. Secondly, physical connection may um win 305 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: over the emotional connection. What if your relationship is then 306 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,980 Speaker 1: based on only the physical connection? Right? Because you've already 307 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: had sex on the first date. What's going to happen 308 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,300 Speaker 1: for the remaining of the dates? 309 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:46,540 Speaker 2: Okay. So you already set the tone for your connection 310 00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 2: where it's more physical one. I think that really depends 311 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:53,100 Speaker 2: on who, how you interact with this person. So, don't 312 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,260 Speaker 2: worry about it too much. I think if this person 313 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 2: genuinely wanted to pursue, they always say, right, if he 314 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,810 Speaker 2: wanted to, he would. Yeah. Yeah. So if this person 315 00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:04,210 Speaker 2: shows you that they are more interested in your physicality 316 00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:07,660 Speaker 2: after you've already, you know, had that physical connection and 317 00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:10,060 Speaker 2: that's not okay if you don't drop him or drop them, 318 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: him or her, whatever, then they, them. Yeah. Yeah. 319 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,970 Speaker 2: Um, sometimes it's awkward to have sex for the first 320 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:23,570 Speaker 2: time with anyone. Um, no matter how long you've been dating, 321 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,150 Speaker 2: it'll be a lot less awkward if you know the 322 00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,910 Speaker 2: person a bit more and you know that they care about. 323 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:31,660 Speaker 2: You really think that's what if you don't know. Right. 324 00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: Actually, I feel, I feel so as well. 325 00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,470 Speaker 2: Do you think it gets more passionate as you get 326 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:36,410 Speaker 2: to know the person more? 327 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,380 Speaker 2: No. Right. It really depends. It depends. It's open. Hello? 328 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,710 Speaker 2: I don't have an M C Q like answers here. 329 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,290 Speaker 2: It's an open ended questions just 330 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:49,190 Speaker 1: Wondering what do you like? The example? An old couple 331 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,930 Speaker 1: who have been together for 20 years, they have two kids, 332 00:15:51,930 --> 00:15:54,729 Speaker 1: for example, do you think they're equally as passionate as 333 00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,530 Speaker 1: they are 20 years down the 334 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 2: road? You never know. They may, they may do some 335 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,210 Speaker 2: freaky stuff. You never know. I always freaky Friday Ship. 336 00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,130 Speaker 2: They may have like sex room in their house. I 337 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,150 Speaker 2: don't know. Well, what are the odds? 338 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:07,350 Speaker 2: The odds are not really? I 339 00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:13,300 Speaker 1: feel like as the relationship progresses, the passion decreases because 340 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,010 Speaker 2: like, 341 00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:19,790 Speaker 1: because you really tried all the like fresh unique kinky stuff, right? 342 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,170 Speaker 2: There's always more things to try. I mean, I think 343 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 2: that passion is something that both parties need to continuously 344 00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 2: put an effort into. You know, I actually know someone 345 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 2: who has a sex room. No, no. 346 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:41,370 Speaker 2: Who only does one times, huh? Meanings. What's that mean? 347 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 2: We bang, we go. But, but I don't want to 348 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,660 Speaker 2: see you again. Like no, two times, three times. No. 349 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:48,820 Speaker 2: So this person obviously not looking for anything serious. Okay. 350 00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:51,690 Speaker 2: But she finds it a lot cleaner if you leave it. 351 00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:53,010 Speaker 2: Like one 352 00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: is she hurt like emotions, I think because 353 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,020 Speaker 2: of that she would never get her emotionally because she 354 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,690 Speaker 2: knows this is all I want out of it. It's 355 00:16:58,690 --> 00:16:59,810 Speaker 2: just one time. But what 356 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: if this guy is so damn good that she wants 357 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,170 Speaker 1: it again? Oh, 358 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,370 Speaker 2: has never happened. Sorry, man, guys step up the game. 359 00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: But anyway, on that side note, since we're talking about 360 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,430 Speaker 2: sex room, if you do have a sex room, can 361 00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:15,180 Speaker 2: we come and film what we just want to have 362 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,550 Speaker 2: a look? You just want to take a gander will 363 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:22,290 Speaker 2: keep your anonymous. Yes, thank you. Just want to see 364 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:27,530 Speaker 2: curious like Christian gray type of ship. Okay, waiting to 365 00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 2: have sex. 366 00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:30,150 Speaker 2: It also allows you to build more confidence and self 367 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,909 Speaker 2: esteem because a lot of, I guess a lot of 368 00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:34,990 Speaker 2: girls would, you know, give it up on the first 369 00:17:34,990 --> 00:17:38,050 Speaker 2: day and then it would bother them after that. Like, oh, 370 00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 2: he only wants me for sex and all 371 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,409 Speaker 1: that, which brings me to the next point. Sex on 372 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:46,389 Speaker 1: first dates can possibly cloud your judgment because sometimes sex 373 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:47,660 Speaker 1: makes you fall in love, right? 374 00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: The reason why that's not good is because you cannot 375 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,430 Speaker 1: see objectively anymore, whether this person is good for you, 376 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,850 Speaker 1: whether you are meant to be together in a relationship 377 00:17:56,859 --> 00:17:59,300 Speaker 1: and what we don't want to happen is like, you know, 378 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:02,660 Speaker 1: when the passion fades away, you find that if actually 379 00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:05,780 Speaker 1: nothing in common with this person, then how, how are 380 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:06,620 Speaker 1: you going to like wrap things 381 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,140 Speaker 2: up? That's true. I mean, sex on the first day, 382 00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:11,420 Speaker 2: it can go both ways, right? It's really not linear 383 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,310 Speaker 2: in any sense of it. And the best way to, 384 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:17,629 Speaker 2: I guess, avoid feeling confused after if that's a fear 385 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:20,369 Speaker 2: of yours and you're not just going in with the 386 00:18:20,369 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 2: idea of okay, we're just gonna hook up and then 387 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,060 Speaker 2: see what happens, right? But if you are the, you know, 388 00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,870 Speaker 2: anxious attachment kind that you want to know, then maybe 389 00:18:28,869 --> 00:18:32,450 Speaker 2: it's best to have a chat about these things before 390 00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 2: you actually engage in the act of sex. Right? 391 00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:37,609 Speaker 2: But how can you bring up sex and intimacy on 392 00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:41,860 Speaker 2: the first date? Maybe if you already feel like it's 393 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:45,169 Speaker 2: going that way and it's a good time to bring 394 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,879 Speaker 2: up the conversation. I'm trying to think, like, have I 395 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,910 Speaker 2: ever brought it up? Like, if there's no reason for 396 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,100 Speaker 2: it to, there's nothing going on in the first place. 397 00:18:53,109 --> 00:18:55,060 Speaker 2: It's a little bit funny that you bring it up. Right. 398 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 2: I agree. Okay. Well, um, just before anything, I think 399 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,030 Speaker 2: the most important is to have an honest conversation with yourself, 400 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,619 Speaker 2: you need to know what your expectations are 401 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 2: or what your expectations are out of this first. And 402 00:19:07,810 --> 00:19:10,380 Speaker 1: when you are presented with a question from the other party, 403 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: always be honest. You know, don't tell them something that 404 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,990 Speaker 1: you're not actually expecting. Yeah. I think as embarrassing or 405 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 1: awkward as it may be sometimes honestly is the best policy. 406 00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,580 Speaker 2: I think the one thing I always try to remember 407 00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:26,950 Speaker 2: is if you have no expectations, you can't be disappointed. Right. Amen. 408 00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:32,690 Speaker 2: No, half, half, half, half, half, half, because I want 409 00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:34,590 Speaker 2: to have expectations 410 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,230 Speaker 1: and have them fulfilled. Is it? 411 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:43,140 Speaker 2: Yes. Oh, if you don't understand. Okay. Then what about 412 00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,620 Speaker 2: after that first night? Right? Then you want to like, 413 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:50,659 Speaker 2: what is this, what are we, who, where, when, how 414 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:50,860 Speaker 2: I 415 00:19:50,859 --> 00:19:52,460 Speaker 1: feel like for me it's hard for me to ask 416 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:54,940 Speaker 1: that question, like, what's going to happen after tonight? 417 00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 2: But were you thinking to yourself? Of course, really, even 418 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,780 Speaker 2: if it's just a one night stand, 419 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,590 Speaker 1: but I feel like after the one night stand, usually 420 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:03,310 Speaker 1: it's very obvious where things are heading towards, you know, 421 00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 1: whether it's like, okay, thank you. See you again next, 422 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,700 Speaker 1: you know, or like, hey, are we seeing each other 423 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:12,060 Speaker 1: again sometime soon for lunch? I think it's very obvious 424 00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: for 425 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,650 Speaker 2: lunch. Dessert. 426 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:19,230 Speaker 2: I think she's right. It's very obvious. I think you 427 00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:19,970 Speaker 2: can tell. 428 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:22,690 Speaker 1: Yeah. But, well, if a guy asked me, so when 429 00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:24,250 Speaker 1: can I see you again? You 430 00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,869 Speaker 2: mean like right after the act, you 431 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,990 Speaker 1: know, like the next day, like he sends a text 432 00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,990 Speaker 1: saying also, when can I see you again? And I 433 00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:32,699 Speaker 1: thought it was sweet because without 434 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: be like bringing up this topic and he proactively asked 435 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,060 Speaker 1: me for my opinion. So I think that was really 436 00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: respectful and nice. Okay. 437 00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:45,830 Speaker 2: I, I think he also before going into anything or 438 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 2: the first day or anything like that. It's also good 439 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,270 Speaker 2: to think about what 440 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:54,270 Speaker 2: are like non compromise herbal for you. Like what like 441 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:59,810 Speaker 2: not using a condom, possibly, like possibly making sure the 442 00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:03,820 Speaker 2: other person is has, has been tested or like, whatever. Right. 443 00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:07,560 Speaker 2: Like some people have, like, things that they refused to 444 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,739 Speaker 2: compromise sex in a car the first time. 445 00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 2: No, because you want your first time with this person 446 00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:15,530 Speaker 2: to be special. Right? 447 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 1: And to be in a very safe place. 448 00:21:17,369 --> 00:21:21,310 Speaker 2: Not exactly Lamborghini or something, but also it's not very small. 449 00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:25,310 Speaker 2: I don't think, I just think it wouldn't work no 450 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:28,619 Speaker 2: matter what, you know, Kamasutra, you don't think it would 451 00:21:28,619 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 2: work in a car. But no, it's true. But you're 452 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,290 Speaker 2: saying that it has to be comfortable 453 00:21:34,590 --> 00:21:37,460 Speaker 2: when you say that does that mean that there's something 454 00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:41,270 Speaker 2: you're trying to explore this person, like a longer term future. No, 455 00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 2: I just want to have back pain. 456 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,050 Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think emotionally matters a lot whether you 457 00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 1: have it in the car or in a bedroom, 458 00:21:49,369 --> 00:21:51,450 Speaker 2: it affects the mental, it 459 00:21:51,450 --> 00:21:53,310 Speaker 1: helps you feel more secure, don't you think? 460 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 2: I mean, how you gonna cuddle in the car? What 461 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 2: if the police pull over? Oh my God. 462 00:21:59,290 --> 00:22:02,369 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you guys just know your first time. 463 00:22:02,369 --> 00:22:04,830 Speaker 2: Like you deserve to be in a bit okay. But 464 00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 2: it's up to 465 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: you. It's up to you. Somebody love it for the adrenaline. 466 00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:09,400 Speaker 1: You never know. 467 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:15,169 Speaker 2: So, yes, a final thoughts, final advice. Consider the pros 468 00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:17,389 Speaker 2: and cons of having sex on the first day only. 469 00:22:17,390 --> 00:22:20,510 Speaker 2: You can decide what's best for yourself. There's no one 470 00:22:20,510 --> 00:22:23,640 Speaker 2: right answer and yeah. Do what feels good for you. 471 00:22:23,650 --> 00:22:26,940 Speaker 1: Yes. As I always say, it's your decision, just make 472 00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:29,900 Speaker 1: sure you have communicated with your partner about this and 473 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,189 Speaker 1: if you're both okay to go ahead. Have fun. 474 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think that, you know, all decisions 475 00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:37,740 Speaker 2: come with consequences. You okay the consequence. 476 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: I just want to say this too, especially the girls 477 00:22:41,330 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 1: out there. You should never use sex to make someone 478 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: like you that is very important for some girls. I 479 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,150 Speaker 1: have some girlfriends were like this as well. They feel 480 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,730 Speaker 1: like by giving the bodies to the other party, they 481 00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:53,810 Speaker 1: would like her a bit more. You know, I think 482 00:22:53,810 --> 00:22:57,060 Speaker 1: that's not quite the right way to go about thinking. Yeah, 483 00:22:57,070 --> 00:22:57,350 Speaker 1: I 484 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 2: think that sets up, you know, 485 00:22:58,859 --> 00:23:01,390 Speaker 2: if you're trying to pursue something more, it puts you 486 00:23:01,390 --> 00:23:04,149 Speaker 2: in a bit of a wrong direction, right? So never 487 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:09,310 Speaker 2: ever think that protect yourself and pay attention to your instincts, 488 00:23:09,310 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: your gut. Okay. Trust your gut. Yeah, I 489 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 1: Really feel like women. We have a very good six sense. 490 00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:15,770 Speaker 1: We do. Yeah, 491 00:23:15,780 --> 00:23:19,210 Speaker 2: it's incredible. My gut health is not that good. Yeah. 492 00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:22,500 Speaker 2: Good feeling very good. So you protect 493 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,310 Speaker 2: yourself. Make sure that you use the necessary contraception and 494 00:23:26,310 --> 00:23:29,570 Speaker 2: ask your date about their sexual history. When was the 495 00:23:29,570 --> 00:23:32,430 Speaker 2: last time you got tested? All these things are very important. 496 00:23:32,430 --> 00:23:34,889 Speaker 1: Trust. Well, if you ask us, we think that sex 497 00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:38,239 Speaker 1: on the first day is not necessarily bad. Um, but 498 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,729 Speaker 1: if you are trying to take things slow then maybe 499 00:23:40,730 --> 00:23:42,660 Speaker 1: it's not the right move to make. 500 00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:44,650 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think at the end day it's really up 501 00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 2: to you and 502 00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:49,090 Speaker 2: if you're comfortable, go ahead. If you're not comfortable, sound 503 00:23:49,090 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 2: it out and if you're ever on the first day 504 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:55,820 Speaker 2: and you're in danger, remember our call sign, hit isolation, 505 00:23:55,830 --> 00:24:00,330 Speaker 2: you know about previous episode. Let's go. But also like 506 00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:02,429 Speaker 2: if you're on the first date, okay and things are 507 00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:04,910 Speaker 2: getting heated, alright? And then you get a little bit 508 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:07,310 Speaker 2: scared because you don't know this person, right? Anything that 509 00:24:07,310 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 2: happened to you let's say you're taking somewhere you don't 510 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,940 Speaker 2: know where then on your life 511 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,790 Speaker 2: send it to a friend life location eight hours go. 512 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,050 Speaker 2: I have like actually locations of of some friends on 513 00:24:19,050 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 2: my phone permanently just for that there is fine for 514 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:25,710 Speaker 2: iphone users is find my iphone. That's why I use Yeah, 515 00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:27,570 Speaker 2: I don't have time to do all that right? You're 516 00:24:27,570 --> 00:24:29,869 Speaker 2: like out and moving and like you never thought of 517 00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 2: it and then now you're like, oh shit, right? Just 518 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,179 Speaker 2: text a friend, turn on your life and turn it 519 00:24:34,180 --> 00:24:35,459 Speaker 2: off for as long as you can which is what 520 00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:37,270 Speaker 2: I was I think on that note just before we 521 00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 2: end 522 00:24:37,540 --> 00:24:40,190 Speaker 2: Avery and I have we have a code so we 523 00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:43,190 Speaker 2: have green, yellow and red light, okay. So if if 524 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,290 Speaker 2: anyone of us text each other green light means I 525 00:24:46,290 --> 00:24:48,010 Speaker 2: need you to send me a text to get me 526 00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:50,270 Speaker 2: out of this situation could be an awkward first date 527 00:24:50,270 --> 00:24:52,590 Speaker 2: or something. Yellow light means I need you to give 528 00:24:52,590 --> 00:24:55,450 Speaker 2: me a call so that the other person can hear 529 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:58,129 Speaker 2: to get me out of this situation. Red light means 530 00:24:58,140 --> 00:24:59,869 Speaker 2: I need to come and get me now because I 531 00:24:59,869 --> 00:25:02,030 Speaker 2: need to get out of this situation, right? It's like 532 00:25:02,030 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 2: the tiktok sound 533 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,470 Speaker 2: Like level one Level 10. Yeah, 534 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,619 Speaker 1: but how come you can't just pretend someone sending you 535 00:25:08,619 --> 00:25:10,770 Speaker 1: a text but sometimes you need to show 536 00:25:10,780 --> 00:25:14,010 Speaker 2: just in case just in case. Yeah, like the text 537 00:25:14,010 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 2: of the other person like I'm so sorry like, you know, 538 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,160 Speaker 2: I really have to go 539 00:25:17,700 --> 00:25:20,270 Speaker 2: or call or you go to physically come and get 540 00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:22,979 Speaker 2: me now because this person holding me hostage or something. 541 00:25:22,990 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: Okay 542 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:28,210 Speaker 1: buddy. System court science. That's right. And the rotation. Yeah. 543 00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:31,060 Speaker 1: All very important. Okay. We hope you've learned something from 544 00:25:31,060 --> 00:25:33,449 Speaker 1: this episode or like taken away something from all the 545 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:36,210 Speaker 1: sharing that we have done. If you have any comments 546 00:25:36,210 --> 00:25:37,970 Speaker 1: or you have any thoughts you want to share with us. 547 00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: We welcome you on our Instagram at its clarity dot 548 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,050 Speaker 2: com at the end of the day. Do whatever you want, 549 00:25:43,060 --> 00:25:45,540 Speaker 2: don't feel judged, don't let people judge you, 550 00:25:46,190 --> 00:25:49,690 Speaker 2: But also listen to us and Spotify me. Listen, Apple podcast, 551 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:52,540 Speaker 2: turn on notifications and not just listen to us but 552 00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 2: listen to your gut and check us out on YouTube 553 00:25:56,650 --> 00:25:59,900 Speaker 2: and look at our little black outfits that we have today. 554 00:25:59,910 --> 00:26:02,990 Speaker 2: Very cute. Okay, I'm hazel zero and 555 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,650 Speaker 1: thank you for tuning into this episode of Cavities. 556 00:26:08,350 --> 00:26:09,869 Speaker 1: Bye.