1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Hi, it's it. I'm Jermaine and welcome to another episode 2 00:00:03,009 --> 00:00:03,339 Speaker 1: of Clever 3 00:00:04,849 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 2: podcast 4 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,989 Speaker 2: as you can see or if you're not on youtube. Sorry, 5 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 2: please go on youtube. Um, we're dressed in black today 6 00:00:10,409 --> 00:00:13,609 Speaker 2: for a very good reason, which is our dignity diet. 7 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,850 Speaker 2: I'm kidding. We're discussing dark day. 8 00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: I'm a little bit 9 00:00:19,489 --> 00:00:22,590 Speaker 2: scared. Well, you know, we always look like we're happy, 10 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,450 Speaker 2: go lucky. But I've definitely seen these girls cry. I've 11 00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:28,959 Speaker 2: seen them both cry, they see me cry. We've seen 12 00:00:28,969 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: each other cry and we all have bad days, right? 13 00:00:31,209 --> 00:00:33,470 Speaker 2: Just because we seem like, oh, we're always laughing and 14 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,799 Speaker 2: giggling and stuff like that. So before we begin, just 15 00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:39,450 Speaker 2: a quick disclaimer, we are discussing certain topics today 16 00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:42,964 Speaker 2: that may be triggering for some audiences and your well 17 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:46,645 Speaker 2: being and emotional safety are of utmost importance, right? You 18 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:49,986 Speaker 1: can watch our previous episodes, the wholesome ones. Ok. I 19 00:00:49,995 --> 00:00:51,436 Speaker 1: think they are good for you. The one, 20 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:55,265 Speaker 2: the one I have a very alarming statistic in the 21 00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:58,866 Speaker 2: latest data that they released in June, Singapore saw its 22 00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,215 Speaker 2: highest suicide rate 23 00:01:00,312 --> 00:01:03,902 Speaker 2: rate since the year 2000. This rate has been rising 24 00:01:03,911 --> 00:01:08,101 Speaker 2: over the years and I think it's because of lifestyle 25 00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:12,851 Speaker 2: culture and, yeah, perhaps some of the after effects of COVID, 26 00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:15,671 Speaker 2: it's sad to hear that, you know, this rate is 27 00:01:15,681 --> 00:01:19,321 Speaker 2: rising and I think a lot of it is probably because, 28 00:01:19,632 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 2: you know, many people feel that they have no other option. Right. 29 00:01:23,652 --> 00:01:26,512 Speaker 2: But everyone has low days, low days and dark days 30 00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:29,781 Speaker 2: are different. So, yeah, I think low days, 31 00:01:30,029 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 2: you know, its days where you feel emotionally low, like, oh, 32 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 2: I wake up today on the wrong side of the bed. 33 00:01:35,489 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 2: You know, I'm not looking forward to work. I'm not 34 00:01:37,449 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 2: looking forward to doing what I have to. Dark days 35 00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,839 Speaker 2: can be a day where you can't even get out 36 00:01:42,849 --> 00:01:45,789 Speaker 2: of bed a day where you have some very dark 37 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,169 Speaker 2: thoughts going through your head. I heard from some people that, 38 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,300 Speaker 2: you know, being, 39 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,410 Speaker 2: being depressed or being in a state like that time 40 00:01:53,419 --> 00:01:56,849 Speaker 2: passes slower. So, can you imagine that for a day 41 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:58,970 Speaker 2: for us? Right. It feels like 10 days for them. 42 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:02,529 Speaker 2: It's agonizing and it's slow and they just want it 43 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:05,290 Speaker 2: to end. And I think that's probably, you know, the 44 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:07,150 Speaker 2: best way that we can describe it. But do you 45 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,970 Speaker 2: girls remember your last low or dark day? I think 46 00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:13,168 Speaker 1: I'm fortunate in this sense. I don't think I've ever 47 00:02:13,179 --> 00:02:16,859 Speaker 1: experienced a dark day where I feel crippled in bed 48 00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:17,309 Speaker 1: and I, 49 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 1: I can't get out, but I'm blessed low days. Of course, actually, 50 00:02:21,369 --> 00:02:25,508 Speaker 1: just recently, like I've lost sleep over certain issues and 51 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,428 Speaker 1: it's very unlikely to lose sleep. Like I sleep like 52 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,330 Speaker 1: a baby always. So when I start losing sleep it 53 00:02:31,339 --> 00:02:33,579 Speaker 1: means that something is really on my mind and, um, 54 00:02:33,589 --> 00:02:35,710 Speaker 1: this is something that I've been struggling to come to 55 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,690 Speaker 1: terms with as well. In fact, I don't even know 56 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,389 Speaker 1: how to put it in words because whatever I'm feeling 57 00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:43,619 Speaker 1: is confusing even myself. But I know I'm feeling something 58 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,610 Speaker 1: for sure. It's a low period for me, I'm sure. 59 00:02:46,619 --> 00:02:47,299 Speaker 1: And I'm just 60 00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:51,359 Speaker 1: finding ways, er, that I can cope and sort of like, 61 00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:52,678 Speaker 1: slowly come out of this. 62 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:55,149 Speaker 2: So when you wake up, right, let's say recently, when 63 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,229 Speaker 2: you felt very low, what do you then do, do 64 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,550 Speaker 2: you just force yourself to go through your day? Yes. 65 00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:03,228 Speaker 1: In fact, I pack my day to the max because 66 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,179 Speaker 1: this is what you said just now was very true. 67 00:03:05,190 --> 00:03:07,580 Speaker 1: I feel like my days, my hours go by so 68 00:03:07,589 --> 00:03:11,399 Speaker 1: super slowly. So by packing them with work, I force 69 00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:12,660 Speaker 1: the time to pass a bit faster 70 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,729 Speaker 1: and it's very weird. I'm a foodie but I just 71 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:18,138 Speaker 1: don't feel hungry in this period that I'm low. I 72 00:03:18,149 --> 00:03:20,089 Speaker 1: just don't find the need to have food. 73 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,070 Speaker 2: Do you think that's a healthy way to cope with 74 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,179 Speaker 1: your low day? No, but I can't help that. I 75 00:03:24,190 --> 00:03:27,619 Speaker 1: don't have a good appetite. So I try to find 76 00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: other ways to cope with it, including talking to my goals, er, 77 00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 1: listening to music that I love 78 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: things like that. What about you? When was your last 79 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 2: struggle of a day? Don't tell me every day. 80 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:43,270 Speaker 1: What I do know is that when I'm feeling like 81 00:03:43,279 --> 00:03:47,639 Speaker 1: maybe even slightly below low, right. My defense mechanism is 82 00:03:47,649 --> 00:03:50,270 Speaker 1: sleep of which I won't be able to wake up. 83 00:03:50,279 --> 00:03:53,710 Speaker 1: Like I know I need to wake up and I 84 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,110 Speaker 1: know I'm, I'm not actually tired. I just 85 00:03:56,119 --> 00:03:58,070 Speaker 2: can't wake up. You don't want to get out of bed. 86 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,190 Speaker 1: It's not that I don't want to do that. I 87 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,470 Speaker 1: just cannot, but 88 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: I have not been in a state of which I've 89 00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:10,479 Speaker 1: had to cancel plans or have to, you know, um 90 00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:15,490 Speaker 1: be less, perform less than I'm supposed to. At some point, 91 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,570 Speaker 1: I will be able to force myself out of it. 92 00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:20,570 Speaker 1: But in that time or anything that I can, 93 00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:23,654 Speaker 1: I, in that time, I would just do it because 94 00:04:23,665 --> 00:04:27,654 Speaker 1: it's like physical pain, my eyes physically cannot open, my 95 00:04:27,665 --> 00:04:29,945 Speaker 1: brain is not working. Yeah, 96 00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,605 Speaker 2: I think that's hard for people to understand right when 97 00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,333 Speaker 2: you feel this pain and so much so that it 98 00:04:34,345 --> 00:04:37,015 Speaker 2: manifests in physical pain. But a lot of people don't 99 00:04:37,024 --> 00:04:37,855 Speaker 2: really understand 100 00:04:38,130 --> 00:04:41,309 Speaker 2: um mental anguish because you can't see it. It's not 101 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,459 Speaker 2: like a cut on your arm or a, you know, 102 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:46,809 Speaker 2: like you've sprained your ankle, it's not a physical representation 103 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 2: of the pain. You can't even explain 104 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:51,308 Speaker 1: it. Exactly. And I think the reason why I'll still 105 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,808 Speaker 1: be able to force myself to do whatever that I 106 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:55,789 Speaker 1: have to do is because 107 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,609 Speaker 1: having to apologize and explain later is a greater pain. Right? Oh, gosh, 108 00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:04,029 Speaker 1: I feel use this. So you would rather just put 109 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,529 Speaker 1: all this anguish at the back of your mind, just 110 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,738 Speaker 1: get up, do whatever you have to at the end 111 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: of the day, go back to being your sluggish yourself 112 00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:11,670 Speaker 1: in bed. Right. 113 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,909 Speaker 2: This is actually a bit like high functioning, 114 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:16,750 Speaker 2: you know, you know, that you have a job to 115 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,799 Speaker 2: be done. So you do it, but you're just putting 116 00:05:18,809 --> 00:05:20,738 Speaker 2: a band aid over how you feel, right? And then 117 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,700 Speaker 2: you go back to it at the end of the day. 118 00:05:22,709 --> 00:05:23,140 Speaker 2: But in 119 00:05:23,149 --> 00:05:26,149 Speaker 1: all honesty, sometimes that makes you feel better. Yeah. Yeah. 120 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,829 Speaker 1: That makes you feel better. It's true. When you're busy 121 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,409 Speaker 1: and you're occupied, then you feel like, hey, actually, life 122 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 1: isn't that bad after 123 00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,619 Speaker 2: all. I think there are a lot of different coping 124 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:37,529 Speaker 2: mechanisms for a low day. One of our PD actually 125 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,140 Speaker 2: said they like to put up 126 00:05:39,285 --> 00:05:43,035 Speaker 2: my chemical romance and then scream in the car is 127 00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:45,255 Speaker 2: always great. Right? Putting on the music, you love 128 00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:48,945 Speaker 1: questions, ok? When you're feeling low and like sad and 129 00:05:48,954 --> 00:05:51,575 Speaker 1: like bad, do you listen to music that will make 130 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,825 Speaker 1: you happier? Or music that will make you cry more? 131 00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:58,234 Speaker 1: My gosh. Sometimes it's a letter and it's very unhealthy. 132 00:05:58,244 --> 00:06:00,803 Speaker 2: Billy Eilish makes me cry a lot when I'm sad 133 00:06:00,815 --> 00:06:03,005 Speaker 2: and very rude, 134 00:06:03,899 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: I, I also know but sometimes right, having that release 135 00:06:10,209 --> 00:06:13,660 Speaker 2: of emotions is also good because after I cry, like 136 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:18,059 Speaker 2: I don't talk shit. Yeah, I feel better sometimes 137 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:20,510 Speaker 1: it's like that. But then once you feel slightly happier, 138 00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:23,089 Speaker 1: you are reluctant to listen to sad music because you 139 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,269 Speaker 1: don't want yourself to get back there. So when I'm 140 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,489 Speaker 1: like halfway there, not so happy but not so sad. 141 00:06:28,029 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: I better fucking listen to heavy music. Switch it up 142 00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 1: so that, you know, my mood can only go up, 143 00:06:33,049 --> 00:06:34,869 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You know, there are also 144 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: days of which, like, I don't really know what's wrong. 145 00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: There's no one particular thing that I'm actually sad about. 146 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:40,010 Speaker 1: You're just 147 00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:40,928 Speaker 2: feeling frumpy. 148 00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:43,910 Speaker 1: Correct. And I call these sad girl movie 149 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 2: nights. Oh, ok. 150 00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:49,190 Speaker 1: Sad girl movie nights. It's, I mean, obviously it's like 151 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,540 Speaker 1: a metaphor. We don't actually do exactly what it says. 152 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,429 Speaker 1: Right? But I call it movie that of which, like 153 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: if everybody said, ok, very good one. Pint of ice cream. 154 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,958 Speaker 1: Each set chick flick. 155 00:06:58,988 --> 00:07:00,510 Speaker 2: I think we need that. 156 00:07:00,799 --> 00:07:02,849 Speaker 1: Like tonight. Can 157 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:07,589 Speaker 2: you win? Um One of our other PD said therapy? Oh, nice. Yeah, 158 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,019 Speaker 2: just go and buy unnecessary things. Like, even if it's 159 00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:14,850 Speaker 2: just like a dollar on shopping, you know, just check 160 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:15,130 Speaker 2: out 161 00:07:15,209 --> 00:07:17,649 Speaker 2: or just, you know, walking out and buying some sort 162 00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:19,570 Speaker 2: of thing can make them feel better. Yeah. Talking to 163 00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,250 Speaker 2: your friends, right. Actually, 164 00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:24,660 Speaker 1: someone says, talking to strangers as well. Yeah. On those 165 00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:28,100 Speaker 1: days when this particular PD, when he or she doesn't 166 00:07:28,109 --> 00:07:30,690 Speaker 1: want to feel lonely, they go and talk to strangers. Like, basically, no. 167 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,070 Speaker 1: But have you actually seen in movies of which, like, 168 00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:37,089 Speaker 1: people talk to strangers, like at cafes in the plane 169 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: and tell them their entire life story 170 00:07:38,799 --> 00:07:39,779 Speaker 1: because you will never 171 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:44,489 Speaker 2: see them again. Some people actually turn to rain noises, 172 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:48,769 Speaker 2: white noises, brown noises. This is actually very common these days. 173 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: Um where the sounds of like rain and thunder and 174 00:07:53,329 --> 00:07:54,809 Speaker 2: the sea, they actually calm 175 00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:57,339 Speaker 1: you. So recently I tried to count sheep because you 176 00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:00,149 Speaker 1: know there's just so much shit going on losing sleep. 177 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,309 Speaker 1: I count to 200 plus, 178 00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:06,510 Speaker 1: I'm still wide awake and I forgot what number I 179 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,239 Speaker 1: was at. Can 180 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:10,649 Speaker 2: someone do an edit? Kay? Can you count? Can you count? 181 00:08:11,239 --> 00:08:11,399 Speaker 2: You're 182 00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:12,209 Speaker 1: sleeping quick. 183 00:08:12,489 --> 00:08:17,459 Speaker 1: 12 all the way down, all the way to 200 184 00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:20,549 Speaker 1: you know what I gave up? I woke up, replied 185 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,619 Speaker 1: some emails and then I fell asleep. Oh, 186 00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:26,700 Speaker 2: wow. So you can try white noises and brown noises. 187 00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:29,989 Speaker 2: I've heard they also help you with um focus, mental 188 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,369 Speaker 2: focus when you're doing your work. So yeah, you never 189 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,359 Speaker 2: say never. Can I tell you 190 00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:36,289 Speaker 1: something I've done? Um which is go to youtube and 191 00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:39,179 Speaker 1: search for the Crossing life. 192 00:08:41,409 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: Do we have a video that there's a live stream babes? 193 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:45,950 Speaker 2: What's wrong with my friends. 194 00:08:46,429 --> 00:08:48,429 Speaker 1: I've been there. What is 195 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 2: this a video? 196 00:08:50,609 --> 00:08:53,659 Speaker 1: It's a live stream and honestly, right, like at night 197 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,549 Speaker 2: continue 198 00:08:57,390 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: when you just, like, find a comfy place, you're comfy, 199 00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: you're relaxed. You preferably outdoor, 200 00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:07,599 Speaker 2: you put it on. Can I recommend you a website? 201 00:09:07,609 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 2: It's called watch paint dry dot com. What's that? You 202 00:09:11,409 --> 00:09:12,909 Speaker 2: can watch the paint dry. I, 203 00:09:13,309 --> 00:09:16,718 Speaker 1: I rather see like cars and like, people walk out 204 00:09:16,729 --> 00:09:17,460 Speaker 1: your window. 205 00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,159 Speaker 1: No, but it makes you wonder like, wow, this person walking, like, 206 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,919 Speaker 1: what kind of a day do you have? 207 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,419 Speaker 2: You know, I mean, if that takes your mind off 208 00:09:25,429 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 2: your own day, why not you? I'm 209 00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:28,459 Speaker 1: going to check that out tonight, man 210 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:32,218 Speaker 2: Crossing tonight where it's at? Ok. There are a lot 211 00:09:32,229 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 2: of different coping mechanisms is what we're trying to say 212 00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:37,530 Speaker 2: and it's not one size fits all right. Um But 213 00:09:37,539 --> 00:09:38,340 Speaker 2: I do think that 214 00:09:38,419 --> 00:09:42,460 Speaker 2: the biggest challenge really, like, I don't know how, you know, 215 00:09:42,469 --> 00:09:45,750 Speaker 2: she can just talk to strangers about her, her challenges. 216 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,909 Speaker 2: I find it hard to talk to people about the 217 00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:50,590 Speaker 2: struggles that I'm going through. Sometimes. 218 00:09:50,599 --> 00:09:52,789 Speaker 1: I think it's easier if you don't know this person 219 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:55,189 Speaker 1: because that's the last you ever see of them. But 220 00:09:55,479 --> 00:09:58,119 Speaker 1: I feel like I pick my battles. I will go 221 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:58,849 Speaker 1: to the right 222 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:03,799 Speaker 1: friends to share the appropriate struggles. True. Right? You, you, 223 00:10:03,809 --> 00:10:06,510 Speaker 1: you sort of know what kind of responses you want 224 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,229 Speaker 1: out of your sharing already. I just go to the 225 00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:10,909 Speaker 2: right friend. Sometimes I know if I go to this friend, 226 00:10:10,919 --> 00:10:12,590 Speaker 2: this friend will ask me to go out and drink 227 00:10:12,599 --> 00:10:15,559 Speaker 2: my troubles away. Is that the right answer? I don't 228 00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 2: think so. So. Then I don't go to the, I 229 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,869 Speaker 2: go to the friend who gave me something sensible. Like, 230 00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:22,869 Speaker 2: you know, I just think you should stay home and, yeah, 231 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,137 Speaker 2: you just have a good sleep. Have a pint of 232 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:27,026 Speaker 2: ice cream second movie night. Ok, 233 00:10:27,035 --> 00:10:30,567 Speaker 1: because I'm always the thought of which I would want 234 00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:33,546 Speaker 1: to talk about it. But have you ever felt so 235 00:10:33,557 --> 00:10:36,146 Speaker 1: low or so sad that you don't even want to 236 00:10:36,155 --> 00:10:38,577 Speaker 1: talk about it because it tires you out. Yeah. The 237 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:41,726 Speaker 1: thought about talking about it just makes the whole problem 238 00:10:41,736 --> 00:10:43,947 Speaker 1: even more real and it makes me even 239 00:10:43,956 --> 00:10:46,396 Speaker 2: more sad. It's giving more energy to it 240 00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:51,403 Speaker 2: and having, having to relive what you're living through pain 241 00:10:51,414 --> 00:10:55,513 Speaker 2: in the air. But sometimes, you know, the act of 242 00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:59,124 Speaker 2: speaking it, that's the only way you can get through it. 243 00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,184 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? You can't just push it 244 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:04,554 Speaker 2: aside and think that you can hop over it. Um, and, 245 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,573 Speaker 2: and this is where I guess sometimes people seek professional 246 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:10,153 Speaker 2: help because in that sort of 247 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:14,810 Speaker 2: situation where this therapist or counselor or whatever is not 248 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,681 Speaker 2: supposed to judge you and just supposed to help you. 249 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,770 Speaker 2: Maybe it's easier in a professional setting to, right. Talk 250 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,070 Speaker 2: about your 251 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,689 Speaker 1: feelings and I once saw this image on Instagram thoughts 252 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,341 Speaker 1: in your mind when you don't talk about them is 253 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,481 Speaker 1: like a splash of colors everywhere. But when you actually 254 00:11:28,491 --> 00:11:31,510 Speaker 1: talk about these thoughts, they are compartmentalized. You see the 255 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,861 Speaker 1: blues here, the greens, here, the red, here, the pink here. 256 00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:37,119 Speaker 1: And this is when you know more clearly how you're 257 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,218 Speaker 1: feeling about your own issues and 258 00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:42,770 Speaker 2: the truth of the matter is not, not, not like 259 00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:47,179 Speaker 2: not all problems can be solved by your friends, your friends, 260 00:11:47,309 --> 00:11:49,539 Speaker 2: you know, are not professionals, right? And I've had friends 261 00:11:49,549 --> 00:11:56,039 Speaker 2: come to me with very severe and major like depression, depression, anxiety, 262 00:11:56,169 --> 00:11:58,750 Speaker 2: um thoughts of self-harm and I've told them I can't 263 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,419 Speaker 2: help you. You have to speak to a therapist as 264 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,659 Speaker 2: much as I can tell you. 265 00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:04,929 Speaker 2: I'm not a professional, right? Yeah. 266 00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:07,539 Speaker 1: But you know, the very thing of this sentence sometimes 267 00:12:07,549 --> 00:12:09,739 Speaker 1: actually can hurt your friends as well. Maybe they feel 268 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:11,939 Speaker 1: like no, I don't need professional help. I just need 269 00:12:11,950 --> 00:12:15,109 Speaker 1: a listening year. Like, why are you telling me to 270 00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:17,219 Speaker 1: go to someone professional? I don't know. Do you feel 271 00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:18,039 Speaker 1: like it could hurt them? 272 00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:20,059 Speaker 2: I do feel like sometimes they need to hear the 273 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,059 Speaker 2: truth because I, 274 00:12:22,979 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 2: I don't want to, you know, tell people, yeah, I 275 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,070 Speaker 2: don't want to tell people like, you know, resort to 276 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:33,190 Speaker 2: um going to professionals and, and getting like medication and stuff. 277 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:35,469 Speaker 2: But if you are so depressed that you cannot get 278 00:12:35,479 --> 00:12:37,939 Speaker 2: out of bed, you are canceling on work. You're canceling 279 00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:41,500 Speaker 2: on your life. You have to, you need to go 280 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,510 Speaker 2: and seek professional help. I don't think medication is the 281 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,539 Speaker 2: end of it. I think it is a way to 282 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,549 Speaker 2: get back into your life. I've seen, you know, a 283 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,239 Speaker 2: friend who was 284 00:12:51,849 --> 00:12:54,299 Speaker 2: very depressed, major anxiety, 285 00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:57,978 Speaker 2: tried to, yeah, tried to commit suicide and high. 286 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:00,799 Speaker 2: I had to be there in the hospital while they 287 00:13:00,809 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 2: try to pump her stomach out. Right? And it's very 288 00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:06,299 Speaker 2: heartbreaking thing to be there. And from that moment, that 289 00:13:06,309 --> 00:13:10,179 Speaker 2: was her turning point after that, she sought a few 290 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,969 Speaker 2: different channels of help. One being a psychiatrist who is 291 00:13:13,979 --> 00:13:17,169 Speaker 2: the one who dispenses medication. One being a therapist who 292 00:13:17,179 --> 00:13:19,570 Speaker 2: is the one that listens to her, listens to you 293 00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:22,700 Speaker 2: and also a counselor. She had these three people and 294 00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:25,270 Speaker 2: her entire support system of friends and family helping her. 295 00:13:25,549 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 2: And she is in such a wonderful place now. Oh, because, yeah, 296 00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:33,069 Speaker 2: because she sought help and she didn't stay in the 297 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,799 Speaker 2: situation that she was in thinking that it would just 298 00:13:34,809 --> 00:13:35,539 Speaker 2: end one day. 299 00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:38,119 Speaker 1: Right. But on the flip side. So here's a note 300 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: from some anonymous personally and respectfully, I don't think professional 301 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:42,739 Speaker 1: help is of much help. 302 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,419 Speaker 1: At least in my own experience, there was a period 303 00:13:45,429 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 1: where I was suicidal for years. And after many attempts, 304 00:13:48,239 --> 00:13:50,289 Speaker 1: I told a close friend, my gratitude for her in 305 00:13:50,299 --> 00:13:52,489 Speaker 1: advance in case I don't have time to do so 306 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,770 Speaker 1: when the suicide actually happens, she respected my decision. But 307 00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,590 Speaker 1: then told me that if I ever need help, I 308 00:13:57,599 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: could reach out to her or seek professional help. So 309 00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: partially this person feels a bit offended because letting her 310 00:14:03,289 --> 00:14:06,239 Speaker 1: good friend know wasn't a cry for help. It was 311 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:09,380 Speaker 1: just telling her about a decision that she's already made, 312 00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:11,989 Speaker 1: but because she was someone close to her. So she 313 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,950 Speaker 1: decided to give it a try, went for a few sessions. 314 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,109 Speaker 1: Uh professional help. I mean, but don't see any improvement 315 00:14:18,119 --> 00:14:21,229 Speaker 1: in her mental well-being because I think from her point 316 00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:26,659 Speaker 1: of view, the professional giver caregiver which is down there 317 00:14:26,669 --> 00:14:30,429 Speaker 1: taking notes, you know, listening to her, she wasn't even 318 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,690 Speaker 1: sure if she's interested in what she's 319 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,700 Speaker 2: sharing sometimes. Maybe it felt like she was just doing 320 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,789 Speaker 2: her job, right? Maybe that's how it felt. 321 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:41,210 Speaker 2: I think professional help is not gonna work for everyone, right? 322 00:14:41,219 --> 00:14:43,049 Speaker 2: Everyone's going to have a different way to come out 323 00:14:43,059 --> 00:14:48,099 Speaker 2: of it. And the thing about having a therapist or 324 00:14:48,109 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 2: a counselor is that every therapist and counselor is different. 325 00:14:51,919 --> 00:14:54,869 Speaker 2: So this person may not work for you. But you, 326 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,130 Speaker 2: you know, I, I've had friends who had to try 327 00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,419 Speaker 2: like four or five therapist before they found one that 328 00:14:59,429 --> 00:15:01,590 Speaker 2: could even help them. But I do have a gripe 329 00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:03,460 Speaker 2: with like those um 330 00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:07,780 Speaker 2: hotlines. Yeah, you always see like call this number, like 331 00:15:07,789 --> 00:15:10,239 Speaker 2: if you're feeling da da da. I remember calling it 332 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,510 Speaker 2: once very late in the night 333 00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:17,130 Speaker 2: and this person honestly made me feel so much worse 334 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:20,630 Speaker 2: than I was. Yeah, it was horrible because I just 335 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:23,030 Speaker 2: ii I it was a cry for help, right? I 336 00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 2: was calling wanting someone to listen to me, wanting someone, 337 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:28,169 Speaker 2: someone to calm me down. This person actually made me 338 00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:30,830 Speaker 2: even more agitated by saying things like I don't know. 339 00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:33,090 Speaker 2: So what I can do to help you, what, what 340 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,719 Speaker 2: do you want me to do to help you? Excuse me? 341 00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:37,799 Speaker 2: And then I realized that the people on these lines 342 00:15:37,809 --> 00:15:40,909 Speaker 2: are not professionals, they are probably just volunteers. Yes. 343 00:15:40,919 --> 00:15:42,919 Speaker 1: So this is what I wanted to say. Yeah, my 344 00:15:42,929 --> 00:15:45,169 Speaker 1: friend is a volunteer because she feels a lot about 345 00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:48,890 Speaker 1: these kind of situations. But you know, they volunteer have 346 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,469 Speaker 1: their own good will, but sometimes when they are put 347 00:15:50,479 --> 00:15:51,390 Speaker 1: in their situation, 348 00:15:51,979 --> 00:15:56,090 Speaker 1: they're just overwhelmed by the people who need help in 349 00:15:56,099 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: this regard. I think it's also important to note that, 350 00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:00,830 Speaker 1: you know, going through a really, really hard time, a 351 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:05,270 Speaker 1: dark period, right? Sometimes you feel obligated or you feel 352 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:09,849 Speaker 1: like their voices or you feel like people feel and 353 00:16:09,859 --> 00:16:12,090 Speaker 1: they are imposing on you that this 354 00:16:12,184 --> 00:16:14,354 Speaker 1: should be done soon that you need to step out 355 00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:17,275 Speaker 1: of it and that you need to do something about it. 356 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:19,934 Speaker 1: But there's no timeline to it. And I think we 357 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:24,215 Speaker 1: all know people who have been battling depression for years. 358 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:27,395 Speaker 1: I think it's also important to note that you sometimes 359 00:16:27,405 --> 00:16:30,325 Speaker 1: weave in and out of it. Right. And it's completely 360 00:16:30,335 --> 00:16:33,005 Speaker 1: ok if you fall back again into it. I know 361 00:16:33,015 --> 00:16:36,515 Speaker 1: it feels tiring and it feels like a struggle, you know, that, like, 362 00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:39,375 Speaker 1: it feels like one step forward and two steps back. 363 00:16:40,114 --> 00:16:41,195 Speaker 1: But I think, 364 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,750 Speaker 1: don't give up on yourself, you know. 365 00:16:46,479 --> 00:16:50,289 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I, I, everyone's experience with your own 366 00:16:50,299 --> 00:16:52,909 Speaker 2: mental health is going to be very different, right? Um 367 00:16:52,919 --> 00:16:55,739 Speaker 2: There are years that you feel great about yourself. There 368 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,239 Speaker 2: are going to be years that you feel shitty about yourself. 369 00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,929 Speaker 2: Um But at the end of the day, 370 00:17:00,549 --> 00:17:04,609 Speaker 2: you know, I think it's, it's trying to be grateful 371 00:17:04,619 --> 00:17:08,449 Speaker 2: for what you have in your life, right? Um Every day, 372 00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:10,969 Speaker 2: you know, you keep sort of like a journal. Do 373 00:17:10,979 --> 00:17:12,319 Speaker 2: you find that that has helped you 374 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,709 Speaker 2: um gain perspective in your life? Yeah. When 375 00:17:14,719 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: I actually write on it. Yes. On your bad days. Yeah. 376 00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: On my bad days. Yes. I think one important thing 377 00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: for me is changing my perspective. Sometimes when we are 378 00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:26,319 Speaker 1: experiencing low days, we are so sucked into our own 379 00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 1: negative thoughts that we forget the good that is around us, 380 00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:32,379 Speaker 1: the people who love us, the happy things that happen. So, 381 00:17:32,609 --> 00:17:35,709 Speaker 1: you know, changing your perspective actually work in this case, 382 00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,458 Speaker 1: it can be something as simple as taking out a phone, 383 00:17:37,709 --> 00:17:40,300 Speaker 1: snapping this good meal that you had with your friends, 384 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,129 Speaker 1: looking back at it making you feel happy again as 385 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,020 Speaker 1: you relieve the memories over lunch with your close friends. 386 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,550 Speaker 1: Something as simple as this. It 387 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,500 Speaker 2: helps and, and what I always say is a bad 388 00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:52,030 Speaker 2: day is not a bad life. Right. Yeah. Just because 389 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,540 Speaker 2: it's one bad day, doesn't mean that, 390 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:56,569 Speaker 2: you know, your whole life is determined by this one 391 00:17:56,579 --> 00:18:00,410 Speaker 2: day and I love something that hazy posted recently. Um 392 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 2: It's this um like graphic of your progress today and 393 00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:08,329 Speaker 2: your progress over the year just because your progress today 394 00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:11,349 Speaker 2: felt like you went backwards or you didn't do anything 395 00:18:11,479 --> 00:18:13,579 Speaker 2: or it was just just a shit day. But if 396 00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:16,030 Speaker 2: you take yourself back, right, and look at a more 397 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:20,150 Speaker 2: bigger picture, like a more macro view, macro view of 398 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,930 Speaker 2: how much you've achieved in this year, 399 00:18:22,012 --> 00:18:24,233 Speaker 2: how much you've achieved in the last five years? You 400 00:18:24,243 --> 00:18:26,682 Speaker 2: realize that you've taken a very big step forward. It's 401 00:18:26,692 --> 00:18:26,772 Speaker 2: like 402 00:18:26,782 --> 00:18:31,223 Speaker 1: investment. Wow. No, seriously, seriously. In the short term, it 403 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:34,061 Speaker 1: may go down. But over the years in the market, 404 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:38,832 Speaker 1: you see upward, upward movement, I think 405 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,902 Speaker 2: what should we invest in? 406 00:18:41,843 --> 00:18:42,983 Speaker 1: I will tell you later invest 407 00:18:42,993 --> 00:18:47,322 Speaker 2: in yourself that changes your perspective, right? On a lot 408 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,802 Speaker 2: of things. And I think perspective is something that's very 409 00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:53,734 Speaker 2: strong. I used to, you know, like really lose sleep 410 00:18:53,744 --> 00:18:57,255 Speaker 2: over people in my life that made me very upset, right? 411 00:18:57,265 --> 00:18:59,025 Speaker 2: Like why are you like this, why you do things 412 00:18:59,036 --> 00:19:02,494 Speaker 2: like this. But once my perspective changed, like actually they 413 00:19:02,505 --> 00:19:04,936 Speaker 2: are not bad people then that took out so much 414 00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:07,845 Speaker 2: stress from my own life and anguish from my own 415 00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:10,656 Speaker 1: brain. And I always believe why lose sleep over things 416 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,385 Speaker 1: that you can't control? I mean, I say this, I'm 417 00:19:13,395 --> 00:19:16,196 Speaker 1: losing sleep myself is easier said than done, right? But 418 00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:17,765 Speaker 1: as long as you remember it, 419 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:20,229 Speaker 1: I think it still you will get better and embracing 420 00:19:20,239 --> 00:19:22,229 Speaker 1: your emotions is something that I feel is very important. 421 00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:26,369 Speaker 1: Letting the negativity sit in your mind, it's OK, let 422 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 1: it flow to 423 00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:30,030 Speaker 2: you. I find this is very useful with people with 424 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,599 Speaker 2: anxiety as well. Um A friend called me a couple 425 00:19:33,609 --> 00:19:35,859 Speaker 2: of days ago like screaming and crying on the phone 426 00:19:35,869 --> 00:19:40,189 Speaker 2: because of anxiety um like really major anxiety and and 427 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 2: you know, she was saying, I don't want to feel 428 00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:44,420 Speaker 2: this way like I want this to end. I don't 429 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:45,849 Speaker 2: want to feel this way. Like she wants the anxiety, 430 00:19:45,859 --> 00:19:47,659 Speaker 2: the feeling of anxiety because it's so 431 00:19:47,989 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 2: uncomfortable, so suffocating, it's so uncomfortable to have in your body, right? 432 00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:55,640 Speaker 2: And it manifests in your body as pain. And yeah, 433 00:19:55,650 --> 00:19:57,688 Speaker 2: and I told her this one thing I said that 434 00:19:57,699 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 2: from my own personal experience with anxiety, pushing it away, 435 00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:07,479 Speaker 2: surprisingly never helps but sitting with it, acknowledging, I'm feeling anxious, 436 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 2: it's OK. I'm not gonna die. My body is not 437 00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,500 Speaker 2: in danger, right? 438 00:20:11,869 --> 00:20:15,500 Speaker 2: The only way to deal with anxiety is to go 439 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:16,219 Speaker 2: through it. 440 00:20:16,729 --> 00:20:19,579 Speaker 1: And that is also letting go of the need to control. 441 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,688 Speaker 1: You want to control your anxiety, you want it to 442 00:20:21,699 --> 00:20:23,969 Speaker 1: go away, right? But you realize that you can't. So 443 00:20:23,979 --> 00:20:26,630 Speaker 1: just let it go, don't control it, let it come, 444 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,489 Speaker 1: let it sit and then you eventually go away. Yeah, 445 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:31,188 Speaker 1: like one of those things that you just have to 446 00:20:31,199 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: ride out, you know, you've got no choice. So you 447 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:33,619 Speaker 1: just got to ride it out. 448 00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:37,629 Speaker 1: I love some of the content that Jimmy posted um 449 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,010 Speaker 1: of late as well. Sometimes, you know, there are some 450 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:43,449 Speaker 1: healthy rituals or like some regimes that you would do. 451 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:46,978 Speaker 1: For example, just a simple stretch on your balcony with 452 00:20:46,989 --> 00:20:51,369 Speaker 1: bubbles with cute little dog. So cute, like starting your morning, right? 453 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:51,609 Speaker 1: You know, 454 00:20:52,079 --> 00:20:56,939 Speaker 2: I I started meditating in the morning. Yeah, so 10 455 00:20:56,949 --> 00:20:59,948 Speaker 2: minutes every morning. Um and I feel that 456 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 2: set a better tone for my day, right? It's kind 457 00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:06,020 Speaker 2: of like you check in with yourself at the start 458 00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:08,579 Speaker 2: of the day. I asked myself, how does my body feel? 459 00:21:08,589 --> 00:21:11,109 Speaker 2: Where am I feeling like tension or pain? 460 00:21:11,390 --> 00:21:13,329 Speaker 2: Er What am I excited for in my day? What 461 00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:14,670 Speaker 2: am I thankful for my day? And what am I 462 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,369 Speaker 2: stressed about? Right. It's like a mental journal, 463 00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:19,479 Speaker 1: you know, for people who own an apple watch. I 464 00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:22,839 Speaker 1: also want to recommend this incredible function that I only 465 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 1: just found out in function Yes, I knew it. That 466 00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:29,300 Speaker 1: is so amazing. So on the Apple watch, right? No, 467 00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:32,170 Speaker 1: C CD is not sponsored content. There's this frame that 468 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:36,150 Speaker 1: says mindfulness or like breathe. So sometimes when I'm feeling anxious, 469 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,979 Speaker 1: just click on the breath one minute 470 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,689 Speaker 1: and then it says be still and bring your attention 471 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 1: to your breath. And then there's this like vibration movement 472 00:21:43,810 --> 00:21:45,989 Speaker 1: where you vibrate, you just inhale 473 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,329 Speaker 1: vibration, you just 474 00:21:50,390 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: exhale like right? It is vibrating right now. So I 475 00:21:53,369 --> 00:21:55,479 Speaker 1: don't even have to look at the screen. I just 476 00:21:55,489 --> 00:21:58,579 Speaker 1: like my bed. I feel the vibrations and I just fall. 477 00:21:58,670 --> 00:22:01,069 Speaker 1: And after one minute, surprisingly, you feel good about yourself. 478 00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:03,709 Speaker 1: You feel better. Yeah. And let the breath go all 479 00:22:03,719 --> 00:22:06,170 Speaker 1: the way, not just to the chest but all the way. 480 00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:09,430 Speaker 1: Let it fill up your belly. Yeah. And then it 481 00:22:09,439 --> 00:22:12,550 Speaker 1: come out, you know, like my friends have started saying 482 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,630 Speaker 1: that I operate on like New York time, which is 483 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,379 Speaker 1: not great. Yes, we know, darling. 484 00:22:18,390 --> 00:22:19,339 Speaker 2: It's not news. 485 00:22:19,989 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: OK? But I also feel like sometimes when you're going 486 00:22:22,770 --> 00:22:25,209 Speaker 1: through like a really dark time, right? It's not just 487 00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:28,109 Speaker 1: one thing. The problem is that when it rains, it 488 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:32,599 Speaker 1: pours and sometimes it's a whole bunch of things one 489 00:22:32,609 --> 00:22:32,958 Speaker 1: after 490 00:22:32,969 --> 00:22:36,260 Speaker 2: another like going to shit at once. So what you're saying, 491 00:22:36,829 --> 00:22:38,619 Speaker 1: I felt like I went through something like that quite 492 00:22:38,630 --> 00:22:41,089 Speaker 1: recently of which I felt like nothing 493 00:22:41,609 --> 00:22:45,099 Speaker 1: was working out for me. It felt like everything was 494 00:22:45,109 --> 00:22:48,619 Speaker 1: in shambles and there was no, like, one thing that 495 00:22:48,630 --> 00:22:51,150 Speaker 1: could keep me going, you know, it all just didn't 496 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,810 Speaker 1: feel right. And I think when something like that happens 497 00:22:53,819 --> 00:22:56,579 Speaker 1: it's very important to understand that you can't solve it 498 00:22:56,589 --> 00:22:59,219 Speaker 2: all. I think all these things. Right. It could come 499 00:22:59,229 --> 00:23:02,729 Speaker 2: in a combination of things. Right. And it's your healthy 500 00:23:02,739 --> 00:23:07,438 Speaker 2: support system. Whether it be your dogs, journaling, meditation, yoga. 501 00:23:07,949 --> 00:23:11,109 Speaker 2: What is your, mine is friends. OK. Friends. Yeah, very 502 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,849 Speaker 2: important friends, right? All these things come together to keep 503 00:23:14,859 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 2: you alive to make you grateful for life. 504 00:23:16,930 --> 00:23:19,379 Speaker 1: OK. So I know we mentioned just now that professional 505 00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:22,889 Speaker 1: assistant sometimes, you know, it is a hit or miss, 506 00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:25,270 Speaker 1: but sometimes they also actually provide us with a lot 507 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: of help, especially if we have persistent symptoms and sometimes 508 00:23:29,170 --> 00:23:32,459 Speaker 1: maybe these symptoms, you don't even realize it's happening to us. 509 00:23:32,469 --> 00:23:34,489 Speaker 1: But when we talk to a professional about it, they 510 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,979 Speaker 1: can pinpoint right away. Hey, I see this in you. 511 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,510 Speaker 1: Are you suffering from ba ba, ba, ba ba, do 512 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,208 Speaker 1: you need this and that 513 00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:43,228 Speaker 2: this and that I I always say, right? Um if 514 00:23:43,239 --> 00:23:47,250 Speaker 2: it affects your ability to cope with literally your life, 515 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:50,239 Speaker 2: then your quality of life is just it is down 516 00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:52,689 Speaker 2: to zero, right? Is there any way to live? Like 517 00:23:52,969 --> 00:23:57,319 Speaker 2: if in that case, you can seek professional assistance and 518 00:23:57,329 --> 00:23:59,909 Speaker 2: it can bring your quality of life back up? I 519 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,849 Speaker 2: think it's worth a try for me, the big, hard 520 00:24:02,859 --> 00:24:06,619 Speaker 2: and fast rule is if you are experiencing any 521 00:24:07,150 --> 00:24:11,718 Speaker 2: thoughts of self-harm or substance abuse or even thoughts of suicide, 522 00:24:11,729 --> 00:24:16,479 Speaker 2: I think that is a definite yes to trying professional 523 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,129 Speaker 2: assistance at 524 00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:20,849 Speaker 1: least. And it's a journey with professional assistance as well. 525 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:23,219 Speaker 1: I know it feels like 526 00:24:23,619 --> 00:24:26,458 Speaker 1: at that point, especially you just want someone to have 527 00:24:26,469 --> 00:24:28,979 Speaker 1: an answer for you. But I think like a lot 528 00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:31,869 Speaker 1: of other things in life, it might be a journey 529 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,988 Speaker 1: of which that person may not have the answer, but 530 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,099 Speaker 1: someone else might have. And I think it's also important 531 00:24:38,109 --> 00:24:40,530 Speaker 1: to note that seeking professional help doesn't mean that 532 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,739 Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you. Ok. So to all our 533 00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,810 Speaker 1: listeners tuning into this episode of Harsh Podcast, we just 534 00:24:45,819 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: want to end off this episode with some happy quotes. 535 00:24:49,369 --> 00:24:49,688 Speaker 1: Can 536 00:24:49,699 --> 00:24:54,300 Speaker 2: you guys edit like, you know those like cheesy, cheesy 537 00:24:54,310 --> 00:24:56,890 Speaker 2: motivational quote posters? Oh, yes. Ok. 538 00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:58,640 Speaker 1: So you just say it a certain way? Ok. Each 539 00:24:58,650 --> 00:24:58,739 Speaker 1: of 540 00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:00,619 Speaker 2: us will have one hays, quote, 541 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,369 Speaker 1: your direction is more important than your speed. 542 00:25:05,260 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: Your direction is more important than your speed. 543 00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter how fast or slow you go as 544 00:25:11,170 --> 00:25:13,709 Speaker 1: long as you're headed in the right direction, just trust 545 00:25:13,719 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: in the whole process. Mine is a really simple one. 546 00:25:16,290 --> 00:25:19,500 Speaker 1: In fact, I'm going to quote a friend taking care 547 00:25:19,510 --> 00:25:21,349 Speaker 1: of yourself is a full time job. 548 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:27,069 Speaker 2: Wow. Facts. Why do we have full time jobs then? Yeah. 549 00:25:27,930 --> 00:25:30,448 Speaker 1: Actually, this full time job is more taxing than the 550 00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 1: one that we 551 00:25:31,199 --> 00:25:33,958 Speaker 2: get paid. Yeah. No, we do get paid with quality 552 00:25:33,969 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 2: of life. Yeah. Yeah. 553 00:25:34,930 --> 00:25:37,540 Speaker 1: Actually that's a good way to put it eight hour 554 00:25:38,709 --> 00:25:39,119 Speaker 2: annual 555 00:25:39,130 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: leave. You'll be glowing, you'll be like, 556 00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:45,310 Speaker 2: hydrated. Ok. 557 00:25:46,329 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 2: Whatever you do give your 100% 558 00:25:50,709 --> 00:25:53,750 Speaker 2: unless you are donating blood. What do 559 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,859 Speaker 1: you mean if I'm donating blood don't give my 100% 560 00:25:56,869 --> 00:25:58,050 Speaker 2: cannot blood? 561 00:25:59,030 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: That's what I mean. OK. OK. Yeah, 100%. 562 00:26:04,219 --> 00:26:09,199 Speaker 2: And also you are enough. You are, you are, you 563 00:26:09,229 --> 00:26:10,369 Speaker 1: are you 564 00:26:10,380 --> 00:26:10,619 Speaker 2: are 565 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,599 Speaker 1: you are you are, you are 566 00:26:15,310 --> 00:26:18,689 Speaker 2: OK. If you want positive quotes, call our hotline and 567 00:26:18,699 --> 00:26:19,510 Speaker 2: put the number. 568 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,310 Speaker 1: No. Actually, I feel like 569 00:26:23,719 --> 00:26:26,380 Speaker 1: the whole clarity and all the content we put up 570 00:26:26,390 --> 00:26:29,709 Speaker 1: is all about positivity. There has to be at least 571 00:26:29,719 --> 00:26:32,410 Speaker 1: five episodes that relate to you. I mean, we've done 572 00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: so many, right? So if you haven't checked out our 573 00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:36,819 Speaker 1: previous episodes, uh feel free to check out snippets on 574 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:39,449 Speaker 1: our Instagram at is Clarity dot co. You can listen 575 00:26:39,459 --> 00:26:41,649 Speaker 1: to us on me, listen, Spotify or Apple 576 00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:45,069 Speaker 2: Podcast. We are also on tiktok. We rarely mention this. 577 00:26:45,079 --> 00:26:45,619 Speaker 2: But yeah, 578 00:26:45,824 --> 00:26:49,444 Speaker 2: we have some pretty um debatable snippets right up on 579 00:26:49,454 --> 00:26:51,405 Speaker 2: tiktok if you'd like to join the debate. But we're 580 00:26:51,415 --> 00:26:53,504 Speaker 2: also on youtube if you want to check out, I 581 00:26:53,515 --> 00:26:56,435 Speaker 2: don't know the beautiful set. That's what we always say. Yeah. 582 00:26:56,444 --> 00:26:56,854 Speaker 2: And 583 00:26:56,864 --> 00:26:57,875 Speaker 1: our dark dark 584 00:26:57,885 --> 00:27:00,204 Speaker 2: clothes today, I feel like we're ending this off on 585 00:27:00,214 --> 00:27:02,535 Speaker 2: a positive. Yes, we are. So I'm very happy about that. 586 00:27:03,035 --> 00:27:03,854 Speaker 1: So I'm 587 00:27:03,864 --> 00:27:05,795 Speaker 2: Hazel, I'm AA and I'm Jermaine 588 00:27:05,805 --> 00:27:07,204 Speaker 1: and we will see you on the next episode of Clam. 589 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,329 Speaker 1: Bye.