1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:03,369 Speaker 1: Sometimes right? Holding hands is more intimate than having sex. 2 00:00:03,380 --> 00:00:04,059 Speaker 1: Oh my God. The 3 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:07,090 Speaker 2: little moments where like your elbow brushes. Then you like. 4 00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,379 Speaker 2: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the hot pot where we hop 5 00:00:17,389 --> 00:00:20,129 Speaker 2: into different parts of spaces. People find themselves in during 6 00:00:20,139 --> 00:00:23,719 Speaker 2: lives transitions. I'm Joey. I'm Nick. I'm Q and today 7 00:00:23,729 --> 00:00:26,579 Speaker 2: we have two very special guests, Isaac and Su 8 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: Hi guys. I'm sir. And as you guys can tell, 9 00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 2: I'm the only Gen Z here. Straight to my heart. 10 00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:37,860 Speaker 2: I'm just joking. We still have a long way to 11 00:00:37,869 --> 00:00:39,819 Speaker 2: go a long way to go. 12 00:00:40,069 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: I'm Isaac and I like long distance running and I 13 00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:46,638 Speaker 1: like long walks on the beach. I'm the resident millennial 14 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:49,939 Speaker 1: here and I actually run two stores. So Luke comes 15 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,919 Speaker 1: a vintage store and stake out a second hand clothing, 16 00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,439 Speaker 1: experimental clothing store. So 17 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,992 Speaker 1: really good millennial gestures. 18 00:01:08,531 --> 00:01:11,001 Speaker 2: But before we begin with today's episode, I'm gonna do 19 00:01:11,012 --> 00:01:13,622 Speaker 2: a shameless part. So me and three other producers have 20 00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:16,321 Speaker 2: been producing a show called Code. Tell us more about 21 00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:19,902 Speaker 2: what is it about. Are you interested? So I will 22 00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:20,162 Speaker 2: pass 23 00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:23,043 Speaker 2: on to my talents to actually share about that. You 24 00:01:23,054 --> 00:01:27,183 Speaker 2: rate not shocking, right? What is it 25 00:01:27,194 --> 00:01:31,683 Speaker 1: about? So essentially is a mystery adventure program in every 26 00:01:31,694 --> 00:01:34,374 Speaker 1: episode we decipher like a six digit code from that 27 00:01:34,384 --> 00:01:37,322 Speaker 1: six digit code. We actually get a location to different 28 00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,994 Speaker 1: spots to do even more challenges. And then the plot thickens. 29 00:01:41,174 --> 00:01:44,792 Speaker 2: Where can I watch code red? Oh, it's on, you 30 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:45,874 Speaker 2: got what you got? 31 00:01:46,276 --> 00:01:50,505 Speaker 2: Not exactly. But anyways, the episode is out already. If 32 00:01:50,515 --> 00:01:53,625 Speaker 2: you guys want to watch, just, just saying into the queue, 33 00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:56,786 Speaker 2: what are you waiting for? Just saying to your watch later? Yeah, 34 00:01:56,795 --> 00:01:59,316 Speaker 2: but watch this first. So the reason why we have 35 00:01:59,325 --> 00:02:01,596 Speaker 2: Isaac and su on with us today is because we're 36 00:02:01,606 --> 00:02:04,405 Speaker 2: going to talk about the differences between millennial and gen 37 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:07,865 Speaker 2: Z dating and since it is here, boomer dating to 38 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:11,565 Speaker 2: dating you also no fellow married person. 39 00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:16,029 Speaker 2: We're not boring. No, we're very exciting. So you guys 40 00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 2: are married, we are married to separate people, 41 00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:26,130 Speaker 2: not to each other. Now, I realize now how that 42 00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:29,460 Speaker 2: might have been confusing. What about you? See, I'm single 43 00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:32,538 Speaker 2: and ready to date. If I, 44 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:37,380 Speaker 1: what about single? I've been very, very single for the 45 00:02:37,669 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: last like for like seven years. I say wow, 46 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,100 Speaker 2: that's pretty damn single around here. 47 00:02:44,589 --> 00:02:45,978 Speaker 2: Then you're not very 48 00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:49,549 Speaker 1: single. No, I never like like into one like real 49 00:02:49,559 --> 00:02:50,258 Speaker 1: relationship 50 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 2: for us. OK. So for I think and see, are 51 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:56,649 Speaker 2: you off the market or on the market or not 52 00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:59,369 Speaker 2: even considering going into the market? I feel like there 53 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,130 Speaker 2: are like different phases for me, like some days. Right? 54 00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:05,008 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm so ready to be on the market. 55 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:06,888 Speaker 2: But then like on days, I just feel like, 56 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,410 Speaker 2: no, I don't feel like going to the market today. Yes. 57 00:03:11,419 --> 00:03:15,990 Speaker 2: The last proper relationship I had was three years ago. Yeah. 58 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,940 Speaker 2: Like actual proper, proper, like not just dating around was 59 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,029 Speaker 2: three years ago. You, if you can say I'm 23 60 00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:24,448 Speaker 2: that means 20 was like 20 61 00:03:24,779 --> 00:03:27,538 Speaker 1: is what was the question? I was, I was caught 62 00:03:27,589 --> 00:03:30,339 Speaker 1: up in all these in the open 63 00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:33,035 Speaker 2: got 64 00:03:33,044 --> 00:03:36,645 Speaker 1: basket. The market is always open I think. But for me, 65 00:03:36,654 --> 00:03:39,134 Speaker 1: I feel like I go along with the flow, like 66 00:03:39,145 --> 00:03:43,195 Speaker 1: whatever comes my way, I receive that energy and try 67 00:03:43,205 --> 00:03:45,774 Speaker 1: to do something with that energy. I feel like I 68 00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:47,485 Speaker 1: think also because of the nature of what I do 69 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:51,875 Speaker 1: and it's like it's all consuming. I'm married to my job, 70 00:03:51,884 --> 00:03:54,024 Speaker 1: I guess in this case, I think I find it 71 00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:54,845 Speaker 1: hard to 72 00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:59,410 Speaker 1: give a part of myself away. Yeah, 73 00:03:59,589 --> 00:04:02,139 Speaker 2: actually like I feel like like if we are really 74 00:04:02,149 --> 00:04:03,389 Speaker 2: in the market, right? I'm just 75 00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 2: walking through the market. I'm not looking at the things around. Yeah, 76 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:09,479 Speaker 2: because like if love comes it comes, you know, give 77 00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 2: you free sample you take. But yeah, if got free samples, 78 00:04:12,369 --> 00:04:14,300 Speaker 2: I don't mind going to like check it out. I 79 00:04:14,309 --> 00:04:16,899 Speaker 2: want to commit to buying something. Yeah, you have to 80 00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:20,420 Speaker 2: test it out first. So actually your last relationship seven 81 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:23,890 Speaker 2: years ago means like what after ns before, during NS? 82 00:04:23,899 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: So it's like after poly all the way through uni 83 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,589 Speaker 1: it's like almost like a four or five year relationship, 84 00:04:29,779 --> 00:04:30,100 Speaker 1: I feel like 85 00:04:30,295 --> 00:04:33,815 Speaker 1: solitude is a very dangerous thing. Like being alone, like, 86 00:04:33,825 --> 00:04:37,165 Speaker 1: once you're comfortable being alone and then it's like, quite hard, like, 87 00:04:37,174 --> 00:04:40,154 Speaker 1: I enjoy the freedom, my autonomy to do different things 88 00:04:40,295 --> 00:04:45,984 Speaker 1: after starting the business. I think that got even worse 89 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,734 Speaker 1: in some sense because I've been out with the ladies, right? 90 00:04:49,744 --> 00:04:52,994 Speaker 1: And then sometimes LA Yeah. No. And you know, it 91 00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:55,035 Speaker 1: can be so bad to a point where it's like 92 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,415 Speaker 1: when we are out together 93 00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:58,738 Speaker 1: in my back of my head, I'm thinking about work. 94 00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,670 Speaker 1: I like this moment is like quite a waste of time. 95 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,119 Speaker 1: Like no, nothing personal, 96 00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:07,970 Speaker 2: sorry. I know it's like nothing personal entrepreneur curse. 97 00:05:08,619 --> 00:05:10,549 Speaker 1: Then it's like to me it's like, what am I 98 00:05:10,559 --> 00:05:13,190 Speaker 1: doing here? And if I cannot give my 100% to 99 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,209 Speaker 1: this lady, then let's not if she's 100 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,909 Speaker 2: worth it, right? You would, right? You know, I mean, 101 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,190 Speaker 2: if you, if you, if you actually really think that 102 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 2: she might be the person for you, I think your 103 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:26,769 Speaker 2: job 104 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,869 Speaker 2: can be put on pause for a while. Do you 105 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,328 Speaker 2: think so? You haven't met someone that will mentally and 106 00:05:32,339 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: emotionally stimulate you that like you like, wow, I'm so 107 00:05:35,010 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 2: engaged in this date, right? Now, 108 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:39,579 Speaker 1: maybe what I need right now based on my lifestyle 109 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,450 Speaker 1: and everything is not so much a relationship but more 110 00:05:42,459 --> 00:05:45,380 Speaker 1: of like a companionship. So maintenance, 111 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 2: which brings me to my next question of what is 112 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:54,859 Speaker 2: the difference between being officially together, dating and then companionship 113 00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:55,429 Speaker 2: or what 114 00:05:56,029 --> 00:06:00,909 Speaker 2: us gen Z are now calling a situation? So you 115 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 2: actually like, I myself, I'm confused also. Like, right now 116 00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:08,828 Speaker 2: there are like so many phases to like dating, I 117 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 2: think even for me. Right. I only know that I 118 00:06:10,850 --> 00:06:13,820 Speaker 2: was in a situation after the thing ended. Never DT 119 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:19,109 Speaker 2: never did like, oh, let me teach you like the 120 00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:23,510 Speaker 2: D pr is called the define the relationship. I see. 121 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:31,420 Speaker 2: So you never, you are like down to rails to 122 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:37,618 Speaker 2: learn new things. We have different definitions of you down 123 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:42,659 Speaker 2: to like go look at trains. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 124 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 2: that's the only like they want to go and look 125 00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 2: at the train sporting. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Ok. 126 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,789 Speaker 2: Ok. So maybe you guys can define it for us, like, 127 00:06:55,019 --> 00:06:56,070 Speaker 2: in your own ways, I think 128 00:06:56,079 --> 00:07:00,260 Speaker 1: relationship comes with, I think a certain set of responsibilities 129 00:07:00,269 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: you need to, I guess, look out for each other's, 130 00:07:03,329 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 1: I guess mental well being emotional, well being and you 131 00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:10,489 Speaker 1: have someone to answer to in some sense, like with 132 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: regards to 133 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: certain actions you take be on your personal life, how 134 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:19,700 Speaker 1: you deal with, I guess situations that involves two of us. 135 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:22,029 Speaker 2: Right. Is it friends with benefits? 136 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:24,779 Speaker 1: I think that one would be more like a situationship, 137 00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:30,899 Speaker 2: right? No, no. To me. Friends with benefits. Here, situationship here, 138 00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:32,269 Speaker 2: situationship is when 139 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:40,279 Speaker 2: the line is where below, below friends, friends, friends with benefit, situationship, companionship, 140 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:41,929 Speaker 1: I feel 141 00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:45,489 Speaker 2: like no, no, it's the layering of intimacy to me 142 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,579 Speaker 2: because friends and benefits might just be physical. But then 143 00:07:48,589 --> 00:07:53,739 Speaker 2: situation is there's emotions involved, there's physical intimacy but then 144 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,540 Speaker 2: are you all together? Don't know yet. So the next 145 00:07:56,549 --> 00:07:58,179 Speaker 2: one is relationship 146 00:07:59,119 --> 00:08:02,470 Speaker 2: and then you can have more than one friend with benefits, right? 147 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,609 Speaker 2: It's up to you. I have friends but you cannot 148 00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:09,359 Speaker 2: have more than one situation. You're not defining what you 149 00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:12,630 Speaker 2: different situations, maybe you haven't defined that it's monogamous yet. 150 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,059 Speaker 2: But those 151 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:14,750 Speaker 1: people have like super strong like mental 152 00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:16,609 Speaker 1: to handle all honestly. 153 00:08:17,459 --> 00:08:21,309 Speaker 2: But honestly, I think there's exclusive situation and non exclusive. 154 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,970 Speaker 2: So for example, if I was dating someone and then 155 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:27,049 Speaker 2: we already agreed that we're exclusive, that doesn't mean we're 156 00:08:27,059 --> 00:08:28,859 Speaker 2: in a relationship, we're in a situation. 157 00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:30,929 Speaker 1: I mean to me, I think if you 158 00:08:31,549 --> 00:08:36,189 Speaker 1: excuse, like you tell someone you proclaim I'm with, I'm 159 00:08:36,229 --> 00:08:38,739 Speaker 1: dating then to me that's like quite official. 160 00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:41,510 Speaker 2: No, actually, you know what? This is very evident, right? 161 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 2: This proves that the reason why it is difficult to 162 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:48,750 Speaker 2: define because we all have very different definitions of like 163 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,950 Speaker 2: if I go on a date with you 164 00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:53,770 Speaker 2: doesn't mean by dating. No, we are hanging out and 165 00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:56,570 Speaker 2: this is a date, right? If we are consistently going 166 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,750 Speaker 2: on dates, maybe we are dating, but it doesn't mean 167 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,569 Speaker 2: you're my boyfriend. Is it really a generational thing? I 168 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,159 Speaker 2: think dating apps have ruined it for all of us 169 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,210 Speaker 2: as a young person. Have you had this experience before? Yeah. 170 00:09:08,219 --> 00:09:10,489 Speaker 2: Actually I say like a lot of people, right? They 171 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:13,409 Speaker 2: kind of like are trying to look for that one, 172 00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:16,130 Speaker 2: the one, you know, so like they have a lot 173 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 2: of criterias to them. That's why I think they are 174 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,450 Speaker 2: more particular in terms of like 175 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:24,699 Speaker 2: choosing the, the choice. Yeah. Yeah. What are the main 176 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 2: criteria for young people today? I just need you to 177 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:34,619 Speaker 2: be emotionally available. That's the bare minimum. Why? That's a minimum. 178 00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:37,569 Speaker 2: So it really is. No, no, it's very low. 179 00:09:38,159 --> 00:09:41,039 Speaker 1: I've had instances whereby the ladies 180 00:09:41,119 --> 00:09:44,130 Speaker 1: want to take it to the next step. Now I 181 00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:48,030 Speaker 1: get coffee. I like, I'm like, why then in my 182 00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:49,989 Speaker 1: head maybe it's like kind of mean. But my head 183 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,450 Speaker 1: was like, why are we spoiling this good moment that 184 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,090 Speaker 1: we are having is I think, 185 00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 2: I don't know, I see an age thing also because 186 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,590 Speaker 2: I know that like amongst my female friends that are 187 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,329 Speaker 2: around our age, right? A lot of them want to 188 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,140 Speaker 2: quickly settle down because they want to have kids, right? 189 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:06,489 Speaker 2: And then it's a biological thing. So based on what 190 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:10,359 Speaker 2: you've shared about yourself, what I deduce is that you 191 00:10:10,369 --> 00:10:13,750 Speaker 2: are afraid to be tied down by someone. Like he's 192 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,020 Speaker 2: a very free but like he'll go where life takes him. 193 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,059 Speaker 2: He wants to be able to make his own decisions 194 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 2: without checking in with someone. And then the person say 195 00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:24,510 Speaker 2: know that he's like, I really hate being held back 196 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,770 Speaker 2: by one person. True or not. Yeah. Yeah. Actually I 197 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,868 Speaker 2: would love to hear from your perspective because like my, 198 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 2: one of my previous dates we ended off because of 199 00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:35,450 Speaker 2: this because it avoid 200 00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:39,869 Speaker 1: but I want to see maybe again, it differs from 201 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,380 Speaker 1: person to person but 202 00:10:42,419 --> 00:10:44,890 Speaker 1: doing your own thing like running your own stuff, I 203 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,109 Speaker 1: feel like for me it consumes me a lot. I 204 00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:49,239 Speaker 1: think maybe it's also a force of habit, kind of 205 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,570 Speaker 1: like everything is work first work, first work first, you know, 206 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,429 Speaker 2: sorry can I go back to the scenario? Because 207 00:10:56,059 --> 00:10:59,030 Speaker 2: Isaac mentioned from a male perspective, right? What about from 208 00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:01,559 Speaker 2: a female's perspective? Because you mentioned that you dated someone 209 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:05,699 Speaker 2: that's similar to cannot commit Isaac, right? Yeah. How did 210 00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:09,348 Speaker 2: that feel? Initially? I didn't, I couldn't understand like why 211 00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 2: or so but then like the more I think about it, 212 00:11:11,659 --> 00:11:15,460 Speaker 2: it just feels like he's not emotionally available at the moment. 213 00:11:15,619 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 2: How long your date for 214 00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:21,476 Speaker 2: six months? Yeah. It's a very long usually for dates 215 00:11:21,486 --> 00:11:25,075 Speaker 2: like three months. Like if nothing is progressing, I would 216 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,106 Speaker 2: just leave it as it is already, then I will 217 00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:30,795 Speaker 2: leave or whatever, we see each other. How many times once? 218 00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:33,026 Speaker 2: Because I feel like we are both quite busy people. 219 00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:35,565 Speaker 2: So we dating the same person because it sounds really 220 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:42,872 Speaker 2: at the same time, at the same time. Have you 221 00:11:42,881 --> 00:11:45,981 Speaker 2: ever dated older like millennial? And have you ever dated 222 00:11:45,992 --> 00:11:49,481 Speaker 2: a Gen Z? Most of my dates are millennials because 223 00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:52,731 Speaker 2: actually like because I think I started working very early. 224 00:11:52,742 --> 00:11:55,072 Speaker 2: So feel like I kind of seek for like older 225 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,221 Speaker 2: men as well. But have you dated Gen Z before? 226 00:11:58,231 --> 00:11:58,410 Speaker 2: So 227 00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:03,390 Speaker 2: yes, but yeah, God, like I, I feel like it's 228 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,189 Speaker 2: a very unserious vibe but for like when dating a millennial, right? 229 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,709 Speaker 2: It's like they have it like, yeah, like they, they 230 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:14,478 Speaker 2: have it like all figured out. So yeah, more security 231 00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,229 Speaker 2: in a sense except for the one that got co 232 00:12:16,309 --> 00:12:20,119 Speaker 2: feed that one. No security. I make the difference because 233 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:20,890 Speaker 2: I always thought that 234 00:12:21,609 --> 00:12:25,429 Speaker 2: older men have it all together and they are more emotionally. 235 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,700 Speaker 2: But actually sometimes it's the opposite because the older you 236 00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:31,260 Speaker 2: get right, the more independent you are and you are 237 00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:34,510 Speaker 2: so used to having your life as it is, right? 238 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,718 Speaker 2: And without anyone intruding so suddenly when someone comes in 239 00:12:38,729 --> 00:12:40,710 Speaker 2: and you have to change for them, change a routine 240 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,750 Speaker 2: for them, it scares them, right? 241 00:12:42,799 --> 00:12:47,750 Speaker 1: The young, the Gen C right? In that maybe honeymoon period, 242 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:47,989 Speaker 1: I would say 243 00:12:48,659 --> 00:12:52,780 Speaker 1: they would try to, they try to match your level 244 00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:55,390 Speaker 1: of maturity whatever that means, like, that you can see, like, 245 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,699 Speaker 1: what they make you think that they're not that childish 246 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,848 Speaker 1: or not that she not bad. You think, like an adult, 247 00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff? Right. Right. Right. Then I feel 248 00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 1: like after when you get comfortable already, you will feel 249 00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,719 Speaker 1: that contrast, like, oh, it's a very contrast, 250 00:13:08,729 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 2: like when I was early on in my relationship. So 251 00:13:10,979 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 2: I try to be, like, put together, you know, but 252 00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:17,020 Speaker 2: then actually a mess. But isn't that what everyone would 253 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,479 Speaker 2: do because you're showing your best? The best one is true. 254 00:13:20,489 --> 00:13:24,849 Speaker 2: Have you ever pretended to like something to impress the 255 00:13:24,859 --> 00:13:28,039 Speaker 2: person that you are dating? So like, let's say that 256 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:31,630 Speaker 2: person likes reading, then you like, pretend to read more 257 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 2: like when I like someone, right? I can go like 258 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,809 Speaker 2: to that extent of like, you know, trying to have 259 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,510 Speaker 2: that interest, but I won't like secretly pretend that I 260 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 2: like books or whatever. I will tell the person. Oh 261 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:46,510 Speaker 2: my God, I'm gonna try like this like doing this 262 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 2: also showing interest. This is good and putting effort. What 263 00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:57,090 Speaker 2: is like you pretend like the same level, I pretend 264 00:13:57,099 --> 00:13:59,329 Speaker 2: to have the same interest at the like, oh yeah. 265 00:13:59,340 --> 00:13:59,750 Speaker 2: So like 266 00:14:03,299 --> 00:14:05,859 Speaker 2: you eat, you eat it like they like celery but 267 00:14:05,869 --> 00:14:07,580 Speaker 2: then you actually cannot celery. But 268 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:09,939 Speaker 2: question 269 00:14:12,469 --> 00:14:15,939 Speaker 2: my question is, would you rather be able to read 270 00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:20,330 Speaker 2: someone's mind or change someone's mind to read someone's mind? 271 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:24,140 Speaker 2: Because I don't like to change how someone else think 272 00:14:24,299 --> 00:14:27,250 Speaker 2: about certain stuff. Yeah. But if you read their mind, 273 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,619 Speaker 2: you will know how to change their mind. 274 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,140 Speaker 2: Manipulation is manipulation. What's one 275 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: thing you wish you had in yourself? Maybe the courage 276 00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,070 Speaker 1: to actually like love, 277 00:14:38,159 --> 00:14:41,469 Speaker 2: the courage to love that sent me 278 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:47,940 Speaker 2: what you really ruined the moment he enunciated the tea, right? 279 00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:52,489 Speaker 2: That sent me. What's the sweetest thing someone has ever 280 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,380 Speaker 2: said to you in recent memory? I think it was 281 00:14:55,409 --> 00:15:00,539 Speaker 2: oh sorry, sorry. It was my wedding vows, wedding vows 282 00:15:00,549 --> 00:15:03,830 Speaker 2: that made you cry. I teared for the first time 283 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,469 Speaker 2: in five years, two weeks ago. What was the exact 284 00:15:07,479 --> 00:15:09,309 Speaker 2: line that made you, did you say? 285 00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:11,820 Speaker 2: Wow, 286 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,260 Speaker 2: I imagine she's like Nicas. You are so funny. 287 00:15:17,609 --> 00:15:19,830 Speaker 2: She made fun of me on the wedding bar. She 288 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,669 Speaker 2: exposed me like for watching back our podcast and then 289 00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:27,299 Speaker 2: laughing at my window. He does that. He sometimes he 290 00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:29,099 Speaker 2: will message me like, hey, I could burn. 291 00:15:31,099 --> 00:15:33,869 Speaker 2: What is something you wish people did more of not 292 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:40,219 Speaker 2: inviting unwanted people to gathering a bit like read the room. No, no, no. 293 00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 2: It's like read the room like someone that you don't like. 294 00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:44,809 Speaker 2: I just did not expect that from you. Sometimes maybe 295 00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,140 Speaker 2: some people are not comfortable with more people joining the 296 00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:49,140 Speaker 2: group or the gathering. Then you just 297 00:15:49,229 --> 00:15:51,929 Speaker 2: like invite many. I feel like you ask first. I 298 00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:54,750 Speaker 2: don't want don't ask for your explanation has suddenly gone into, 299 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,210 Speaker 2: back into your self aware thing. I'm like that I 300 00:15:58,219 --> 00:16:01,650 Speaker 2: avoid because I scared people want me to be there. Oh, no, 301 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:06,099 Speaker 2: I do that. I always want. What's a purchase that 302 00:16:06,109 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 2: you regretted buying recently? Kidding. Absolutely not. I got crocks, guys. Wow. 303 00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 2: I suddenly remember what's my biggest red flag for first 304 00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:18,820 Speaker 2: date if the guy wears Crocs? 305 00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,989 Speaker 2: Yeah. Lucky. I'm not good. 306 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:27,799 Speaker 2: So, for Isaac, do you have friends in your circle 307 00:16:27,809 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 2: who are similar to you? Like do your own thing? 308 00:16:31,289 --> 00:16:34,450 Speaker 2: And as a result, dating might be a little harder 309 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 2: to my 310 00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:37,700 Speaker 1: knowledge. I feel like guys my age or like the 311 00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 1: friends around me, they are either like settled down already 312 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,909 Speaker 1: or they are very focused on their career like whatever 313 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,340 Speaker 1: that's going on for them. There's like no in between. 314 00:16:45,349 --> 00:16:45,609 Speaker 1: I 315 00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 2: think that whatever Isaac is, right? Is an entrepreneur like mindset. 316 00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:53,469 Speaker 2: No, it's actually very true. It's just very career driven 317 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,239 Speaker 2: no matter how old you are. Like even a 50 318 00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 2: year old person who is still trying to grow his 319 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:02,229 Speaker 2: business or scale it. You won't have time for your family. 320 00:17:02,349 --> 00:17:06,530 Speaker 2: It's a very common thing for people who are entrepreneurs 321 00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:10,469 Speaker 2: or have more non conventional like careers that require you 322 00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:13,030 Speaker 2: to be on the ball all the time. And even 323 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,069 Speaker 2: though we are three years apart, right? My friends also, 324 00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:15,430 Speaker 2: I have 325 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,675 Speaker 2: friends who are looking for relationship like they want to 326 00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:23,114 Speaker 2: be in a relationship, ladies or men men like they 327 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,734 Speaker 2: are on dating apps. They also like a single, you 328 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:28,135 Speaker 2: want 35 you get married or not. If it's both single, 329 00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:33,573 Speaker 2: you know the pack. Ok, guys, I like, no, I 330 00:17:33,584 --> 00:17:38,035 Speaker 2: say I got p with 23 people but it's like 331 00:17:38,045 --> 00:17:39,885 Speaker 2: all jokes like we want, we want 332 00:17:41,239 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 2: like you trust me, trust me. Tell the other guy 333 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:49,699 Speaker 2: friends actually. Not bad. No, no, no, no. It's really like, bros. 334 00:17:50,849 --> 00:17:52,810 Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't think so. To you. 335 00:17:52,819 --> 00:17:54,629 Speaker 2: Is bro, there is whole, you know what I mean? 336 00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:57,739 Speaker 2: I'm a, I, I mean, you got three years. 337 00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,459 Speaker 2: But anyway, so I think that there's a mix actually, 338 00:18:02,469 --> 00:18:04,689 Speaker 2: like there are some people who really wants to settle 339 00:18:04,699 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 2: down and then they're desperately finding the one. So there's 340 00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:12,579 Speaker 2: a spectrum I feel. How have dating apps transformed dating 341 00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:16,319 Speaker 2: culture right now. Tinder is basically just a hook up, 342 00:18:16,609 --> 00:18:20,130 Speaker 2: hook up the one true one, right? Is basically I 343 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:24,369 Speaker 2: on bumble or coffee mix. B Oh really? Ok. Then 344 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 2: H as well. Hinge is the same voice. Not one 345 00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:31,619 Speaker 2: ironically is unhinged guy, but I will say right? I 346 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:33,910 Speaker 2: was single for a very short period. I just got 347 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,819 Speaker 2: out of a almost boy long relationship. I finally know 348 00:18:36,829 --> 00:18:39,609 Speaker 2: myself sexually. Like what I like what I don't like 349 00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:40,579 Speaker 2: I said, you know what? Let's, 350 00:18:40,949 --> 00:18:44,150 Speaker 2: let's be a see, a party out. So I went 351 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,619 Speaker 2: on the apps and then the moment I got offers 352 00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 2: I scared. I, I, like, I thought that maybe I'm 353 00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:55,530 Speaker 2: down to date meet people. But if I didn't know 354 00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:58,300 Speaker 2: them in person, I cannot swipe. Right. It was so 355 00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:01,569 Speaker 2: difficult for me and that's how I realized, like, 356 00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:06,219 Speaker 2: actually I'm a very monogamous person and for me dating 357 00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:10,030 Speaker 2: is quite sacred. Like I thought that I could play, like, 358 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,750 Speaker 2: multiple people have not play like multiple people but like, 359 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,209 Speaker 2: go on dates, meet people and in the scene maybe 360 00:19:16,219 --> 00:19:19,270 Speaker 2: have a hook up or two, you know, but like, 361 00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:23,439 Speaker 2: also I cannot nervous. It was very difficult. So I 362 00:19:23,449 --> 00:19:26,439 Speaker 2: think it's because the idea of the app is for 363 00:19:26,449 --> 00:19:30,650 Speaker 2: romantic connections already. Whereas if in secondary school, when you 364 00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:35,699 Speaker 2: go out with someone, like you wanna go, it's just us. 365 00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:38,810 Speaker 2: Then after that you just figure it out. Like how 366 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 2: come my stomach got like how come, how come you 367 00:19:42,410 --> 00:19:43,829 Speaker 2: keep testing me? Yeah, 368 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:47,389 Speaker 2: like he keep disturbing me, you know, like the stars 369 00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:51,819 Speaker 2: on me. I miss those times. I think the best 370 00:19:51,829 --> 00:19:54,180 Speaker 2: way to meet people is to say yes to more 371 00:19:54,189 --> 00:19:59,050 Speaker 2: experiences which means like going for activities, meeting your friends 372 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:01,979 Speaker 2: friends because like sometimes I'm having drinks with my friends. 373 00:20:01,989 --> 00:20:04,599 Speaker 2: You want to join. The other interesting thing is that 374 00:20:04,609 --> 00:20:07,869 Speaker 2: now because of dating apps, right? We did outside of 375 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,849 Speaker 2: our batch 376 00:20:09,349 --> 00:20:12,270 Speaker 2: because last time you remember like if say now you 377 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,729 Speaker 2: 23 right? Like I think I would date my fellow 378 00:20:15,739 --> 00:20:19,439 Speaker 2: 2394 kids because those are the people, you know, and 379 00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:22,069 Speaker 2: then your friends were no ma go to church together, like, 380 00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:25,569 Speaker 2: go to like school together to that kind of thing. 381 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,129 Speaker 2: So now like dating apps, you can like plus minus 382 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:34,239 Speaker 2: like five and is best friend of the opposite sex 383 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 2: red flag for you. We talked about this recently, right? 384 00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,750 Speaker 2: I saw that, I saw that there used to be. No, 385 00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:43,449 Speaker 2: no, I lowered it. No, I think it's not a 386 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:46,500 Speaker 2: red flag. It's just that I experienced it to know 387 00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:49,959 Speaker 2: that it's very difficult to navigate even though I was, 388 00:20:49,969 --> 00:20:50,949 Speaker 2: I said I was OK 389 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,719 Speaker 2: and I'm willing to try, I think he has always 390 00:20:54,729 --> 00:20:58,609 Speaker 2: bothered me like it's a red flag because the person 391 00:20:58,619 --> 00:21:01,540 Speaker 2: that I was dating back then he would meet her quite, right. 392 00:21:02,069 --> 00:21:05,300 Speaker 2: So it's like a, like a bit similar to the 393 00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,379 Speaker 2: frequency of how he meets me. I think 394 00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: personally. No, because I think I consider my best friend. 395 00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:16,380 Speaker 1: She's a lady and she's my business partner also. So, 396 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:17,300 Speaker 1: and she's married. She has, 397 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,649 Speaker 1: you know, and she's literally like my right? Or I 398 00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 1: will take a bullet for that time. But I see 399 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,390 Speaker 1: then again because I think I watched the previous episode 400 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,250 Speaker 1: where you talked about that I got like to internalizing, 401 00:21:29,260 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 1: I just feel like it's really down to the individual 402 00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:34,459 Speaker 1: and like the boundaries because for example, I mean, your 403 00:21:34,469 --> 00:21:36,890 Speaker 1: post this question, right? It's like my best friend has 404 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,310 Speaker 1: a family just gave birth to a daughter, husband. And 405 00:21:40,319 --> 00:21:42,609 Speaker 1: what would a husband think about me? I do. That 406 00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:44,599 Speaker 1: causes my mind a lot of times we see each 407 00:21:44,609 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: other every day. Perhaps, maybe even more time than the family, maybe. 408 00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:52,380 Speaker 1: And it gets to me sometimes and, but because I 409 00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:54,839 Speaker 1: know my boundaries, I know her for so long and 410 00:21:55,219 --> 00:21:58,239 Speaker 1: it's 100% platonic. That's why I'm a firm believer of 411 00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:02,160 Speaker 1: guys and girls can be best friends, you know, for sure. 412 00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:02,599 Speaker 1: It's not 413 00:22:02,609 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 2: black and 100%. Yeah. No, like I was saying when 414 00:22:06,369 --> 00:22:08,489 Speaker 2: I was younger, I used to be very affected, like 415 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 2: when my partner has like a very close like opposite gender, 416 00:22:12,050 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 2: best friend. But then I realized that cannot be helped. 417 00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:18,660 Speaker 2: Ultimately, they are, they were friends first. I came in 418 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:22,010 Speaker 2: later or so. So one thing that I like to 419 00:22:22,020 --> 00:22:24,270 Speaker 2: do is I will get close to the best friend 420 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,949 Speaker 2: also of the opposite gender. It kind of like makes 421 00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:29,959 Speaker 2: me feel like have a peace of mind at least 422 00:22:29,969 --> 00:22:33,380 Speaker 2: like now that is a trio now, that kind of thing. Yeah, 423 00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:37,079 Speaker 2: I think even in my case, I did mention like eventually, 424 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,510 Speaker 2: if I get to meet her, that'll be great. 425 00:22:39,084 --> 00:22:41,964 Speaker 2: And you mentioned about the nuances, right? Mine, they did 426 00:22:41,974 --> 00:22:46,314 Speaker 2: that before. So that's why it's extremely difficult because knowing 427 00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:50,474 Speaker 2: that they were, whether emotionally, physically intimate once and then 428 00:22:50,484 --> 00:22:53,375 Speaker 2: they meet pretty often. It's just very hard to get 429 00:22:53,385 --> 00:22:55,234 Speaker 2: out of my head. Right. So, like, for example, in 430 00:22:55,244 --> 00:22:58,755 Speaker 2: your case, she's like, she's married and you're platonic. What, 431 00:22:58,765 --> 00:23:01,093 Speaker 2: why you want to say we were in a relationship before? 432 00:23:02,619 --> 00:23:06,089 Speaker 2: Oh, the one with the kid? Is that your long term? 433 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,989 Speaker 1: My business one. She was the previous relationship, or is 434 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,419 Speaker 1: it now? It all makes sense? Like, no, no, no, 435 00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:12,339 Speaker 2: because I had a feeling that I was like, that's 436 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:17,130 Speaker 2: why exactly the same thing. Wait, wait, we are all 437 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,750 Speaker 2: dating the same person. Oh my God, it's all 438 00:23:19,869 --> 00:23:26,709 Speaker 2: Isaac. This is so weird. They did that Isaac's variant. 439 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,020 Speaker 2: But no, but I believe that he, when he said 440 00:23:29,030 --> 00:23:32,449 Speaker 2: that they're platonic, it's just that it's too difficult to separate. 441 00:23:33,859 --> 00:23:37,770 Speaker 2: So this was the four or five year relationship. Then 442 00:23:37,780 --> 00:23:38,329 Speaker 2: after that 443 00:23:38,729 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 2: the last seven years, you have been working together. So 444 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,339 Speaker 1: that was a, that was so I think there was 445 00:23:45,349 --> 00:23:47,959 Speaker 1: a gap of, I would say about a year plus 446 00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:50,869 Speaker 1: of like I just asked like very, very little 447 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,270 Speaker 2: contact. OK. But then after that, OK. So how you reconnect, 448 00:23:54,459 --> 00:23:54,599 Speaker 2: how 449 00:23:54,670 --> 00:23:57,978 Speaker 1: we reconnected? I mean, this long story short, we always 450 00:23:57,989 --> 00:23:58,310 Speaker 1: had 451 00:23:58,780 --> 00:24:03,239 Speaker 1: the dream to open a store. This is our interest. 452 00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:05,959 Speaker 1: We both left our jobs and then we thought like, hey, let's, 453 00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:06,760 Speaker 1: let's 454 00:24:06,770 --> 00:24:09,469 Speaker 2: try that. So at which point did she start dating her? 455 00:24:09,479 --> 00:24:10,550 Speaker 2: Now husband, I 456 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,739 Speaker 1: think probably already when, when we were about to start 457 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 2: the business, how did it make you feel? I think 458 00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:19,719 Speaker 2: maybe jealous. 459 00:24:19,739 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: Not, this was probably our first few months into it. 460 00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:23,359 Speaker 1: And then 461 00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:28,069 Speaker 1: I never broach upon like that whole whether are you 462 00:24:28,079 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: in a relationship topic? Just let's just do this, let's 463 00:24:30,810 --> 00:24:33,380 Speaker 1: get this off the ground. And then one day we're 464 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 1: in a store and I just ask so, missing anyone. Oh, no, 465 00:24:40,209 --> 00:24:43,010 Speaker 1: not yet. Not yet. So, yeah. Then she said, oh, yeah, 466 00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:46,390 Speaker 1: she's seeing someone. I remember at that moment like 467 00:24:46,829 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: my heart, my heart saying, but it wasn't like I 468 00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:54,469 Speaker 1: wasn't like longing or like I wasn't like, ok thinking 469 00:24:54,479 --> 00:24:57,089 Speaker 1: that there could be something. But definitely, I think when 470 00:24:57,099 --> 00:24:58,609 Speaker 1: I heard that my heart just like 471 00:24:59,780 --> 00:25:02,739 Speaker 2: natural because no matter what she was someone you 472 00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:07,469 Speaker 1: 100%. But you know, and I think our relationship is 473 00:25:07,479 --> 00:25:09,889 Speaker 1: like very, very healthy. It helps in the working relationship 474 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:11,829 Speaker 1: as well and whatever 475 00:25:12,290 --> 00:25:15,849 Speaker 1: difficulties, troubles or hopefully as a friend, I'll be there. Obviously, 476 00:25:15,859 --> 00:25:17,579 Speaker 1: she has a husband and then the kid and everything. 477 00:25:17,589 --> 00:25:19,478 Speaker 1: But even our friends around us, like, how do you 478 00:25:19,489 --> 00:25:22,959 Speaker 1: do this? Like yours and then all your business partners? 479 00:25:22,969 --> 00:25:25,379 Speaker 1: Like how do you even advocate possible man, all that 480 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,189 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. It's very possible like how you draw 481 00:25:28,199 --> 00:25:31,300 Speaker 1: boundaries and not let anything 482 00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:35,130 Speaker 2: happen. I, I got a semi related question but now 483 00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:36,089 Speaker 2: this is more open. 484 00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:41,239 Speaker 2: How do Gen Z's break up nowadays over time? We're done? Yeah. No. 485 00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:44,500 Speaker 2: Like I feel like nowadays it's just true text which 486 00:25:44,510 --> 00:25:47,629 Speaker 2: is so sad and I will always be the one initiating. 487 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,189 Speaker 2: Can we at least meet up to have a closure 488 00:25:50,199 --> 00:25:53,819 Speaker 2: of your job? Ok. No, like I, I usually ghost, 489 00:25:53,829 --> 00:25:56,969 Speaker 2: like I don't do it anymore, but last time I 490 00:25:56,979 --> 00:25:59,780 Speaker 2: used to ghost but like it's more of like first 491 00:25:59,790 --> 00:25:59,920 Speaker 2: date 492 00:25:59,989 --> 00:26:02,300 Speaker 2: kind of thing. And I just goes afterwards but like 493 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 2: a few months long kind of thing, I wouldn't go. 494 00:26:05,989 --> 00:26:08,939 Speaker 2: First day goes, I think quite ok. And you think 495 00:26:08,949 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 2: I should say, just say like, hey, I don't think 496 00:26:10,689 --> 00:26:13,969 Speaker 2: it's right. Like what I like to do like during 497 00:26:13,979 --> 00:26:16,119 Speaker 2: days when I know the person is not the one already, right? 498 00:26:16,130 --> 00:26:19,250 Speaker 2: Like I'm done after this date, I'll usually just pay for, 499 00:26:19,260 --> 00:26:21,430 Speaker 2: I'll initiate to pay for the date. So like afterwards 500 00:26:21,439 --> 00:26:23,438 Speaker 2: when I ghost them, right? I don't feel so bad 501 00:26:24,609 --> 00:26:28,329 Speaker 2: and say like, thanks for tonight. Nothing. You just, 502 00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:36,129 Speaker 2: no, I think you should always thanks for tonight. See 503 00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:40,449 Speaker 2: around perhaps. But like afterwards, like he will try to 504 00:26:40,459 --> 00:26:43,030 Speaker 2: continue the conversation and then I'll just take my leave 505 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,780 Speaker 2: from there. This is where you like the message. You know, 506 00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:51,819 Speaker 2: I don't have the like function, the function quite good 507 00:26:51,829 --> 00:26:54,829 Speaker 2: to end conversation. Yeah. Actually, I cannot imagine dating now 508 00:26:54,839 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 2: because it has simplified everything for us that it takes 509 00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:02,479 Speaker 2: the humanity of the conversation a little bit. I remember 510 00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:06,250 Speaker 2: like when I after I think I told you before II, 511 00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:08,400 Speaker 2: I like to chase a lot and I get the 512 00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:11,149 Speaker 2: e very fast. So sometimes after like the first or 513 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,170 Speaker 2: second date, I'll be like, I never want to see 514 00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 2: this person again, but I also owe them 515 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:20,569 Speaker 2: an explanation. So then I just sent a text like, hey, 516 00:27:20,790 --> 00:27:21,750 Speaker 2: I really 517 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:26,430 Speaker 2: don't think this is working out and I'm not interested 518 00:27:26,439 --> 00:27:31,420 Speaker 2: in pursuing this romantically anymore, but happy to be friends 519 00:27:31,430 --> 00:27:34,540 Speaker 2: if that is available down the line. I think the 520 00:27:34,550 --> 00:27:37,310 Speaker 2: longer you've been out there and dating, right? The more 521 00:27:37,319 --> 00:27:41,449 Speaker 2: baggage you have. True, true, true, true. You just been 522 00:27:41,459 --> 00:27:47,910 Speaker 2: through more, more tissue things, experience more 523 00:27:47,994 --> 00:27:50,494 Speaker 2: things and then you tend to avoid the things that 524 00:27:50,505 --> 00:27:54,805 Speaker 2: you've seen before, which might hinder your correct. Right? And 525 00:27:54,814 --> 00:27:56,885 Speaker 2: then you look out for the best parts that you've 526 00:27:56,895 --> 00:28:00,323 Speaker 2: witnessed before. All the people that you've you've data. But 527 00:28:00,385 --> 00:28:01,925 Speaker 2: what works for me is you don't look at your 528 00:28:01,935 --> 00:28:04,015 Speaker 2: past relationships as baggage, right? But you look at them 529 00:28:04,025 --> 00:28:07,055 Speaker 2: as like a filter. So then it's like, oh, this 530 00:28:07,064 --> 00:28:09,885 Speaker 2: one didn't work out why XYZ? Then after that, your 531 00:28:09,895 --> 00:28:11,875 Speaker 2: next relationship, you just need to make sure that don't 532 00:28:11,885 --> 00:28:13,094 Speaker 2: have XYZ. The more 533 00:28:13,104 --> 00:28:13,813 Speaker 1: people I need, 534 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,599 Speaker 1: I think the more I see how I can work 535 00:28:16,609 --> 00:28:20,189 Speaker 1: on myself. But instead of like putting expectation on others, 536 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,479 Speaker 1: I feel like, OK, like why am I feeling this way? 537 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,989 Speaker 1: And then then I realize it's like a me problem. 538 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,050 Speaker 1: I feel like most of the time. And then I 539 00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: always tell my friends, like, do you think I'm a robot? Like, 540 00:28:30,569 --> 00:28:33,540 Speaker 1: why can't I fall in love? Right? When they say 541 00:28:33,550 --> 00:28:35,900 Speaker 1: they want to see that? I love you. I get like, wow, 542 00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:39,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's so intense and sometimes right, 543 00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:42,739 Speaker 1: holding hands is more intimate than having sex. Oh, 544 00:28:42,819 --> 00:28:45,270 Speaker 2: for sure. Oh, my God. The little moments where, like 545 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,489 Speaker 2: your elbow brushes, they like 546 00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:52,390 Speaker 1: holding hands to me. It's like it sends shivers down 547 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,030 Speaker 1: my spine 548 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 2: like the, the innocent things that matters. So I think 549 00:28:57,530 --> 00:28:57,819 Speaker 2: it's important, 550 00:28:57,864 --> 00:29:00,175 Speaker 2: important to note that not everyone will agree with all 551 00:29:00,185 --> 00:29:02,685 Speaker 2: the different labels that are out there in the dating 552 00:29:02,694 --> 00:29:05,444 Speaker 2: scene today and where the dating scene is going. It's 553 00:29:05,454 --> 00:29:08,444 Speaker 2: also important to note that dating is different for everyone. 554 00:29:08,454 --> 00:29:11,935 Speaker 2: Sometimes it happens more organically and quickly for some and 555 00:29:11,944 --> 00:29:14,755 Speaker 2: takes longer for others. So there's no right or wrong 556 00:29:14,765 --> 00:29:15,555 Speaker 2: at the end of the day. 557 00:29:16,770 --> 00:29:18,410 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for watching this episode of the 558 00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 2: Hot Pot. You can also listen to us on Spotify 559 00:29:20,810 --> 00:29:23,530 Speaker 2: Apple podcast and me. Listen. And if you haven't already do, 560 00:29:23,540 --> 00:29:25,810 Speaker 2: subscribe to our channel at you got watch as well. 561 00:29:25,819 --> 00:29:28,329 Speaker 2: Thank you so much to Isaac and sir for joining 562 00:29:28,339 --> 00:29:31,239 Speaker 2: us on today's episode. It was so fun. Thanks for 563 00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:34,060 Speaker 2: having us. I really learned a lot today from my 564 00:29:34,069 --> 00:29:38,660 Speaker 2: fellow millennials and don't forget to catch Code Red. We'll 565 00:29:38,670 --> 00:29:39,479 Speaker 2: see you on the next 566 00:29:39,489 --> 00:29:39,949 Speaker 1: episode. 567 00:29:41,630 --> 00:29:46,349 Speaker 2: How old are you? Actually? How old are 568 00:29:46,359 --> 00:29:46,939 Speaker 1: you? I'm 31. 569 00:29:49,459 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 1: Oh, ok. 31 570 00:29:51,569 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 2: action. 571 00:29:53,689 --> 00:29:54,839 Speaker 2: Oh, actually, how old are you? Ah, 572 00:29:57,069 --> 00:29:57,300 Speaker 2: we need to.