WEBVTT - Are Men Intimidated by Alpha Women? 0:00:00.030 --> 0:00:02.490 Hey, what's going on, it's Sonia. Welcome back to another 0:00:02.490 --> 0:00:14.280 episode of Men. Explain. Today we're going to be addressing 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:16.470 the word alpha. I just really want to get to 0:00:16.470 --> 0:00:18.690 know a little bit more about what our guest today 0:00:18.690 --> 0:00:21.840 thinks about that and whether he himself thinks he's an 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:23.970 alpha male. Please welcome, Joe. 0:00:24.630 --> 0:00:25.410 Hi, everyone. 0:00:25.770 --> 0:00:27.210 Maybe you can tell us a bit more about what 0:00:27.210 --> 0:00:28.260 you do, Joe. Sure. 0:00:28.650 --> 0:00:30.450 It's kind of going to be quite a mouthful because 0:00:30.780 --> 0:00:32.729 I recently left my job, so I would say that 0:00:32.729 --> 0:00:34.680 I am kind of like a full time content creator. 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:39.300 Now I online, I have this moniker call like the info. Yes. 0:00:39.310 --> 0:00:40.709 So that pun 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:43.000 y influencer, 0:00:43.050 --> 0:00:45.450 because I talk a lot about, like, you know, educational 0:00:45.450 --> 0:00:48.360 stuff and for giving up information and breaking that down 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:52.409 into like bite size, you know, consumable formats. And that 0:00:52.409 --> 0:00:54.390 was given by a follow, actually. Not really. I didn't 0:00:54.390 --> 0:00:56.130 come over on my one. I just adopted it. Yeah. 0:00:56.580 --> 0:00:58.680 And then on the side, I also ran up with 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.320 my friends, few Italian debt friends of mine where we 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.170 do a lot of like meaningful, you know, content as well. 0:01:04.590 --> 0:01:07.860 And then on the site, I also run now, which 0:01:07.860 --> 0:01:09.899 is a youth conference that I think that, you know, 0:01:10.140 --> 0:01:12.500 motivates young people to pursue their passions. Yeah. 0:01:12.510 --> 0:01:15.540 How do you have any time at all to do anymore? 0:01:16.260 --> 0:01:19.390 That's why I feel like, you know, I channel all 0:01:19.390 --> 0:01:21.510 of my free time into like my passions, which is 0:01:21.510 --> 0:01:22.020 all these things are. 0:01:22.020 --> 0:01:24.360 So yeah. So today we're going to address the topic 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:28.069 of alpha males and females. I mean, what alpha? Sometimes 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:30.810 it can have, you know, positive or negative connotations? And 0:01:30.990 --> 0:01:33.840 just a disclaimer, right? This was where she used to 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.199 describe animals in the animal kingdom to determine the rankings 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.090 in the past. And obviously, we're just going to take 0:01:39.090 --> 0:01:41.280 you with a pinch of salt. You know, it may 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.279 come as some sort of negative connotation when used on people, 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.680 but let's just all take it with a grain of 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.920 salt and have an open and honest conversation. So I 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:51.780 guess we'll start with the main question is, do you 0:01:51.780 --> 0:01:53.220 think you're an alpha? 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:56.850 So, so stirred up. OK. So when I when I 0:01:56.850 --> 0:01:59.610 think of the phrase I'm male, right? So I think 0:01:59.610 --> 0:02:02.280 of that the phrase alpha male, you know, someone like 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.790 Harvey Specter from the show suits come to mind very 0:02:05.790 --> 0:02:10.150 like macho, you know, very powerful. I don't think I'm 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.380 anything like that. But, you know, based on what people 0:02:13.380 --> 0:02:15.660 have told me and knowing myself as well, I do 0:02:15.660 --> 0:02:19.639 think that I'm quite type a so alpha. Yes, but like, 0:02:19.830 --> 0:02:21.720 do I fit the image? No. So that would be 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:22.260 my answer. 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.080 OK. The example that you brought up is how it's 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.270 portrayed in the media, right? Yeah. You know, it goes 0:02:27.270 --> 0:02:30.360 in correct stuff. But when it comes to being alpha type, 0:02:30.610 --> 0:02:33.790 I think there are many characteristics that you know attributed 0:02:33.790 --> 0:02:36.000 that to. And it doesn't necessarily mean that, oh, you 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.040 have to dress is something we own. What was then 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.829 we will come across, certainly. So what do your friends 0:02:40.830 --> 0:02:45.300 and your colleagues say about you that conclude that you 0:02:45.300 --> 0:02:46.429 are more type? Right? 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.140 So one thing that I got since my internship days 0:02:49.139 --> 0:02:51.540 was that I'm very go-getter, so I know exactly what 0:02:51.540 --> 0:02:54.270 I want and I won't stop until I get it. Yes. Yes. 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:56.910 Another type is that like if, let's say, a team 0:02:56.910 --> 0:03:00.150 is working on something like, naturally, I just like my 0:03:00.150 --> 0:03:02.190 way into a leadership position, making sure that like, 0:03:02.550 --> 0:03:03.419 like, no, we do 0:03:05.550 --> 0:03:08.640 not know if a bossy. Yeah. But like, you know, if, 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:10.980 let's say, for example, I mean, a team or group 0:03:10.980 --> 0:03:13.440 project and then I don't see it progressing a certain 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.990 way or not fast enough. I'm definitely stepping up and 0:03:15.990 --> 0:03:18.190 making sure that, like all of us do our part 0:03:18.190 --> 0:03:20.130 to making sure that we meet like the goals in 0:03:20.130 --> 0:03:23.670 the end. So I think that's what the what people 0:03:23.669 --> 0:03:26.310 see and also what I definitely notice as well. 0:03:26.340 --> 0:03:29.250 So in this entire, I guess, experience in your career 0:03:29.250 --> 0:03:31.049 and stuff, you know, picking up from what you said. 0:03:31.290 --> 0:03:34.500 Has anyone ever said like you, you done Barcelona's, you 0:03:34.500 --> 0:03:38.490 always been controlling or like any, any sort of slightly, 0:03:38.490 --> 0:03:41.340 you know, negative connotation to that. You can be honest 0:03:41.340 --> 0:03:42.780 because I'll share my own experience. 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:46.290 I mean, I've had people come up to me and say, like, Hey, 0:03:46.290 --> 0:03:49.290 maybe don't be so like, you know, aggressive sometimes. But 0:03:49.500 --> 0:03:51.600 I mean, for the most projects that I've been working on, 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:54.150 I'm mostly working with people around my same age or 0:03:54.150 --> 0:03:57.180 slightly younger and whatnot. So I would say that that's 0:03:57.180 --> 0:03:59.670 definitely I need to balance being a friend and also 0:03:59.670 --> 0:04:02.880 like the little leader, right? So I do try to 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.920 come across not to be rude. 0:04:05.100 --> 0:04:07.050 You know, sometimes it's hard to draw the line because 0:04:07.050 --> 0:04:08.880 we just want to get the job done. Yeah, in 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:11.520 a way. Right. And I myself as well, I think, 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:13.620 you know, you can us joakim as well. He was 0:04:13.620 --> 0:04:16.230 one of our guests in the previous episodes. So when 0:04:16.230 --> 0:04:19.349 we first started out together as video partners like quite 0:04:19.350 --> 0:04:23.339 a number of years ago, really, he 100 percent said 0:04:23.339 --> 0:04:26.430 that I'm always like trying to dominate everything, but I 0:04:26.430 --> 0:04:30.870 must always win, especially in an argument, like in a discussion, 0:04:31.140 --> 0:04:33.180 and I end up making all the decisions. So he 0:04:33.180 --> 0:04:36.089 definitely from his lens. Yeah, he would think that I'm 0:04:36.089 --> 0:04:39.690 a alpha female, right? But for him, you know, we 0:04:39.690 --> 0:04:42.150 kind of balance each other. That's why I guess the partnership, 0:04:42.150 --> 0:04:44.220 you know, works in a way because there's that balance 0:04:44.220 --> 0:04:46.589 where he's willing to sometimes, you know, back down and 0:04:46.980 --> 0:04:49.830 along the years and along the way, I also realize like, 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:53.070 maybe I shouldn't be so aggressive, like, yeah, it can 0:04:53.070 --> 0:04:56.070 always come across my real time and I can always 0:04:56.070 --> 0:04:58.500 get things my way. Yeah. So it's all about finding 0:04:58.500 --> 0:04:59.370 that balance, right? 0:04:59.870 --> 0:05:02.870 And that comes through conversations like, you know, you said 0:05:02.870 --> 0:05:04.239 that you came to what you were, right? So that's 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:05.400 like open communication. 0:05:05.950 --> 0:05:08.080 You know, be comfortable to speak to people. 0:05:08.140 --> 0:05:11.680 Yeah, like I mean, I've definitely had conversations with friends 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.080 and whatnot whereby, you know, they tell me that this 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.480 is my working style and this is and I know 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.010 what my working style is. And I like to go 0:05:18.010 --> 0:05:20.680 into projects, you know, laying up there like, Hey, this 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.820 is how I give it back. This is how I function. Like, No, 0:05:23.830 --> 0:05:27.040 please don't, don't take it personally. The work is the 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:28.599 work for me and whatnot. And then that kind of 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:32.979 like sets the expectation, sometimes whereby different people come into 0:05:32.980 --> 0:05:35.950 different projects with different expectations, of course, you know, and 0:05:36.130 --> 0:05:38.290 sometimes they take things a little bit more personally, and 0:05:38.290 --> 0:05:40.960 that's where things can go off real a little bit. 0:05:40.970 --> 0:05:42.820 So I do think communication is such a big part 0:05:42.820 --> 0:05:43.390 of that as well. 0:05:43.420 --> 0:05:46.560 I totally agree. But the one thing that sometimes you know, 0:05:46.570 --> 0:05:50.200 the thought they crosses my mind is when an alpha male, 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:52.780 for example, when a guy comes across alpha, OK, I 0:05:52.779 --> 0:05:55.900 would say, Oh, he's so empowering swing control. But when 0:05:56.110 --> 0:05:59.289 you know, like, for example, a girl comes into a, 0:05:59.410 --> 0:06:02.860 you know, work situation and comes across alpha, people might 0:06:02.860 --> 0:06:05.620 be like, Oh, she's such a bitch, so bossy. Like, 0:06:05.620 --> 0:06:06.820 do you feel sometimes that? 0:06:07.300 --> 0:06:11.320 So I've definitely heard of that. People just dismiss a 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.599 woman who is a bit more alpha. It's like bitch, right? 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:17.500 But in my personal perspective, so I mean, I work 0:06:17.500 --> 0:06:19.690 in media, right? And I and I work with a 0:06:19.690 --> 0:06:23.169 lot of like women around me and especially women in 0:06:23.170 --> 0:06:24.310 positions of power 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:28.539 is quite a female dominated. It is some in some 0:06:28.540 --> 0:06:30.850 sections of the media industry is quite female dominated. 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:33.010 So so I have been in like, you know, different 0:06:33.010 --> 0:06:36.340 types of companies within the media industry as well. So 0:06:36.339 --> 0:06:38.890 I have been in an editorial publication. I've been in 0:06:39.100 --> 0:06:44.320 like influencer marketing and whatnot. So in those times where 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:48.580 I have been working under a female lead, yeah, what 0:06:48.580 --> 0:06:51.190 I realize is that it's not actually bitchy, you know, 0:06:51.190 --> 0:06:54.190 like it's just I see it as, you know, someone 0:06:54.190 --> 0:06:57.279 who is confident, assertive, but at the same time, there's 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.909 something about female leaders where I feel like there's there's 0:06:59.920 --> 0:07:03.550 more empathy. Oh, OK. Yeah. The way, the way they 0:07:03.550 --> 0:07:06.580 lead that the team or the people feels a bit 0:07:06.580 --> 0:07:09.760 more human, there's a bit more like a caring factor 0:07:10.060 --> 0:07:14.070 to it. And even under female professors in school where 0:07:14.110 --> 0:07:16.989 I went to like at school and communication school, what 0:07:16.990 --> 0:07:19.630 I realized was that like the the female professors, even 0:07:19.630 --> 0:07:21.790 as they lead the class and also like guides, students 0:07:21.790 --> 0:07:24.610 along like this always just kind of like empathetic approach 0:07:24.610 --> 0:07:26.230 to it, which I really, really enjoy. And I think 0:07:26.230 --> 0:07:28.750 that that's why I thrive under so. So that's the 0:07:28.750 --> 0:07:30.309 way I see it, you know, so so sometimes I 0:07:30.310 --> 0:07:33.220 don't really like agree with the fact that like any 0:07:33.430 --> 0:07:36.640 woman who is assertive, is a bitch, right? But perhaps 0:07:36.790 --> 0:07:40.030 some people are bitchy by like, you know, like, that's less, 0:07:40.300 --> 0:07:43.150 I would say, single cases. But in my experience, as 0:07:43.150 --> 0:07:45.160 in school at work, what I realize is that, yeah, 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.890 I like female leaders, have a lot more care to 0:07:47.950 --> 0:07:51.360 the way they they handle work. So I like it. 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:52.760 That's something I appreciate, actually. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.450 Yeah, that's an interesting way of seeing it because, you know, 0:07:55.450 --> 0:07:59.650 more often than not, like it can be a problematic term, right? Yeah, 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.080 she's such an noble female. What she saw, you know, 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.050 in control, which is saw like control freak, whatever, whatever, 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:07.300 which could then cause all these negative feelings. But I 0:08:07.300 --> 0:08:09.790 never saw it your way. I mean, you think like 0:08:09.790 --> 0:08:13.810 with male like alpha males who are in leadership positions, 0:08:13.990 --> 0:08:18.280 they are less emotionally involved in something more surgical in 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:18.460 a way. 0:08:18.700 --> 0:08:20.860 In some ways, I would think so because I mean, 0:08:20.860 --> 0:08:23.670 I came from an all male environment for 10 years, right? 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.239 So I'll send boys school for 10 years. And then 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.850 I went to junior school, so I'll send one fat 0:08:27.850 --> 0:08:30.820 junior and then Mary Stella High. And then I went 0:08:30.820 --> 0:08:33.380 to Meridian, which was the first time I was like, Oh, 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:35.140 that's cool. So it's like my whole class was like, 0:08:35.350 --> 0:08:37.809 that 10 goals, two guys, you know? And then sort 0:08:37.809 --> 0:08:40.809 of quite like a big shift. Yeah. And then after that, 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.360 he went into army, which is all male again. And 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:46.329 then I went into art school, which is female dominated 0:08:46.330 --> 0:08:48.130 at once again. So I kind of like, see that 0:08:48.130 --> 0:08:51.340 stark contrast. And in various milestones in my life and 0:08:51.580 --> 0:08:53.800 you know, when I when I look at the times 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.290 in army, for example, the kinds of leaders that I 0:08:56.290 --> 0:08:58.960 had in there versus like like, you know, at work 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.719 and also in school. It's like, hmm, I definitely see 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:05.229 the different types of leadership qualities come into play. I mean, 0:09:05.230 --> 0:09:07.880 I personally don't like subscribing to stereotypes all that, you know, 0:09:07.900 --> 0:09:10.920 gender stereotypes. But I see it when we're going to 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:13.410 look at like the male leaders and the way they 0:09:13.460 --> 0:09:16.030 lead certain things. And also, like the female leaders, I 0:09:16.030 --> 0:09:17.800 definitely see like that difference. 0:09:17.950 --> 0:09:19.970 I mean, OK, so I came from an all girls school. 0:09:20.870 --> 0:09:25.240 I thought that actually, like 10 years ago, school and then, 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.520 you know, you go into I went into poly. So 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.890 likewise that you get introduced to like a whole bunch 0:09:29.890 --> 0:09:32.620 of different people and and stuff like that. This is 0:09:32.620 --> 0:09:35.860 a self confession right here. OK? When it was a 0:09:35.860 --> 0:09:38.679 group setting kind of like group project kind of thing, 0:09:38.890 --> 0:09:40.870 I was so irritated with the two guys in my 0:09:40.870 --> 0:09:44.800 group because they were like lazy as bitches. And I 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:46.870 was the one like, You do this, you do that. 0:09:46.870 --> 0:09:48.880 And I'm pretty sure people were saying that I was 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.180 a bit shell like, so I don't know and like group, 0:09:52.300 --> 0:09:55.300 you know, back then when you started doing all these like, 0:09:55.570 --> 0:09:58.750 you know, group setting projects and stuff like that and 0:09:58.750 --> 0:10:02.070 you exposed. Two more people did that also then change 0:10:02.070 --> 0:10:04.679 you or shape you as a person when you enter 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:06.510 the industry instead of working? 0:10:06.780 --> 0:10:09.119 I mean, like, I wouldn't think of it as a 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.450 gender kind of issue. I would think it's more just 0:10:11.510 --> 0:10:15.150 like working with different types of personalities. Yeah, 100 percent. 0:10:15.690 --> 0:10:17.940 But I mean, for you, it's great projects. For me, 0:10:17.940 --> 0:10:22.680 it's like social dynamics. So I would say that the 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:26.580 first couple of months and JC, where I essentially went 0:10:26.580 --> 0:10:28.380 from like a boy school to kind of like a 0:10:28.410 --> 0:10:30.420 girl school with like 10 goals around me and just 0:10:30.420 --> 0:10:32.820 me and my other like male friend in class. It's like, 0:10:32.820 --> 0:10:34.829 you know, the way you, you behave in class, the 0:10:34.830 --> 0:10:37.650 way you're talking class. It's like sometimes the things you 0:10:37.650 --> 0:10:39.450 say have to be has to be a lot more 0:10:39.630 --> 0:10:41.910 like sensitive, you know, and things like that. I would 0:10:41.910 --> 0:10:44.190 say the environment is very different, you know, when it's 0:10:44.190 --> 0:10:47.880 like dominated by the guys. And also like teenage boys 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:50.970 who talk so much shit like so, so and then 0:10:50.970 --> 0:10:53.370 you have like I would say, like my my female 0:10:53.370 --> 0:10:57.560 classmate in Jessie. Well, a lot more like emotionally mature. Yeah, yeah. 0:10:57.570 --> 0:11:01.140 Like at least compared to my secondary school grades. No 0:11:01.170 --> 0:11:04.050 sure thing on them. Please like me. Yeah. But for me, 0:11:04.050 --> 0:11:06.120 it's just like, you know, making sure that like you, 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.209 you adapt accordingly and making sure that you don't, you know, 0:11:09.210 --> 0:11:11.310 rap people the wrong way and whatnot with certain things 0:11:11.309 --> 0:11:11.730 you see. 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.559 So as a result, I think, you know, the broader 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:18.120 question is, do you find this elford treat attractive or 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.820 a turnoff? And this can be on a personal level 0:11:20.820 --> 0:11:23.340 to not just work. Right, right. So I mean, dating 0:11:23.340 --> 0:11:24.270 life too. 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.020 Well, I mean, from from all I've been saying right now, 0:11:28.020 --> 0:11:30.329 I would think that like I do think that it 0:11:30.330 --> 0:11:33.929 is an attractive treat. Knowing what I am like as 0:11:33.929 --> 0:11:36.630 a person where I like it, when I'm in control 0:11:36.630 --> 0:11:38.429 and I like it, when I know what I want 0:11:38.429 --> 0:11:40.380 and when my goals are clear and how to get 0:11:40.380 --> 0:11:42.990 there are clear. So, you know, I tend to also 0:11:42.990 --> 0:11:46.290 surround myself with people like that. Which also it's kind 0:11:46.290 --> 0:11:48.090 of like, you know, when you look at someone and 0:11:48.090 --> 0:11:50.790 they are kind of embodying what you desire and what 0:11:50.790 --> 0:11:53.309 you want for yourself, it's like that is attractive. 0:11:53.340 --> 0:11:55.650 I mean, there is this, there's this term. I know 0:11:55.650 --> 0:11:58.770 every episode I drop some like random item that I 0:11:58.770 --> 0:12:03.510 heard from somewhere. You are the equivalent or the average 0:12:03.510 --> 0:12:06.600 of the five people around you that generally you attract 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.000 this energy and you want to surround yourself with that 0:12:09.330 --> 0:12:12.240 hundred percent. And that might actually rub off in your 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.510 own personal life, too. Yeah. So for me, I feel like, OK, 0:12:15.510 --> 0:12:17.700 generally I am someone who wants to be in control 0:12:17.700 --> 0:12:20.280 of a lot of things of the narrative of whatever right? 0:12:20.580 --> 0:12:23.460 And I would also like to date someone who is 0:12:23.460 --> 0:12:26.160 a little bit alpha in that sense, right? I realize, like, 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:32.060 you know, after a lengthy dating life, some experiences, you know, 0:12:32.100 --> 0:12:35.110 where I've dated people who are like, Oh, you know anything? No, 0:12:35.130 --> 0:12:36.929 I don't know, like, Oh, you know, we'll just go 0:12:36.929 --> 0:12:39.449 is we will live as we go next year. I 0:12:39.450 --> 0:12:41.489 don't know. Maybe I'll just find something else to do. 0:12:41.850 --> 0:12:44.069 I realize, like, I can't really do that. Yeah, what 0:12:44.070 --> 0:12:44.760 about you? 0:12:44.790 --> 0:12:47.189 I have seen not just myself, but I've seen so 0:12:47.190 --> 0:12:51.040 many relationships fail because one individual is ready to conquer 0:12:51.059 --> 0:12:53.429 and and, you know, like, achieve all all that they 0:12:53.429 --> 0:12:55.860 want and the other the other person is just like, Yeah, 0:12:55.860 --> 0:12:58.740 I'm going to. Yeah, and no, not that's wrong, right? 0:12:58.740 --> 0:12:59.640 Like some people, there's 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:00.150 nothing wrong with 0:13:00.150 --> 0:13:04.230 that. Yeah, 100 percent is just it does work in relationships. Personally, 0:13:04.230 --> 0:13:06.420 I don't think so. I've seen so many relationships fail 0:13:06.660 --> 0:13:07.590 simply because of that. 0:13:07.650 --> 0:13:10.929 Yeah. So so that then takes us to say, I 0:13:10.929 --> 0:13:13.170 don't know in your current life situation and all that right? 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:18.720 Do you find like, let's say, an alpha woman intimidating? 0:13:18.900 --> 0:13:21.719 OK, you've heard what I feel about alpha women? Yes. 0:13:21.870 --> 0:13:25.020 Have I faced situations whereby someone who is obviously an 0:13:25.020 --> 0:13:28.500 alpha woman walks into the room and I feel like, Oh, no, 0:13:28.530 --> 0:13:30.540 you know, like, what do I? What can I do? Like, 0:13:30.540 --> 0:13:32.550 how do I not look stupid in front of her? 0:13:32.820 --> 0:13:36.179 You know, 100 percent, yes. Yeah. But I don't think 0:13:36.179 --> 0:13:38.750 it's also offer me as a man being intimidated by 0:13:38.750 --> 0:13:41.250 a woman. I just think that it's me being intimidated 0:13:41.250 --> 0:13:42.750 by someone who is intimidating. 0:13:42.809 --> 0:13:45.059 Wow, OK. So, you know, it's like, Oh yeah, 0:13:45.690 --> 0:13:48.450 it's just like, if it's if it's a guy, it 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.850 is the same thing is the same thing. So so 0:13:50.850 --> 0:13:52.620 to me, that's where I see it. It's not like 0:13:52.620 --> 0:13:54.750 as if any alpha woman who comes in, I'm just 0:13:54.750 --> 0:13:56.490 like hot guys all the way. You know, sometimes I'll 0:13:56.490 --> 0:13:59.429 be like, you know, shit, like, I better get myself, 0:13:59.429 --> 0:14:02.490 you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like, present myself in a certain 0:14:02.490 --> 0:14:04.590 way and I just pray to God I don't feel 0:14:04.590 --> 0:14:07.290 stupid in front of these people. So, so it's definitely 0:14:07.290 --> 0:14:09.990 like our people who present themselves a certain way. And 0:14:09.990 --> 0:14:12.760 I don't want to like, you know, like, come across 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:14.730 as like, stupid or whatever around them. 0:14:14.790 --> 0:14:16.530 Does it make a difference if you get into a 0:14:16.530 --> 0:14:19.320 disagreement with an alpha male and alpha female? 0:14:19.620 --> 0:14:23.820 Actually, no. That like is the same to me. Like, 0:14:23.820 --> 0:14:27.510 I've always had this personal philosophy that like, you know, 0:14:27.510 --> 0:14:29.010 if you have a seat at the table, you have 0:14:29.010 --> 0:14:32.190 to earn that seat. So regardless of whoever's at the table, 0:14:32.190 --> 0:14:34.760 if any of you are the most powerful people and whatnot, 0:14:34.770 --> 0:14:36.390 I'm always going to sit down. I'm always going to 0:14:36.390 --> 0:14:38.910 give my opinion. Otherwise, there's no point in me being there. 0:14:39.180 --> 0:14:41.400 So that's kind of like where I where I function 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:45.030 personally and whether or not whatever gender is at the table, 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.910 it doesn't really matter to me. For me, it's just 0:14:47.910 --> 0:14:49.980 like making sure that like if, let's say everyone is 0:14:49.980 --> 0:14:52.020 there to do a certain thing or to give a 0:14:52.030 --> 0:14:54.780 certain opinion, I better make sure that I give mine. 0:14:55.050 --> 0:14:58.680 And have you ever made an opinion or made your 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.720 opinion known at a. Table, and it was an unpopular opinion. 0:15:01.750 --> 0:15:03.790 Yeah, 100 percent. 0:15:04.370 --> 0:15:06.400 It wasn't all for you and, you know, tell us 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.950 what it was and what went down. I want to know, right? 0:15:09.970 --> 0:15:12.400 So. So it's kind of like just, you know, pointing 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:16.510 out certain things that needed to be improved. Yeah. And 0:15:16.510 --> 0:15:18.520 sometimes that means that certain people have to pull up 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:22.230 their socks a little bit more. Yeah. And you know, 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:23.820 at the end of the day, as I say, it like, 0:15:23.850 --> 0:15:25.690 is never personal when it comes to what at the 0:15:25.690 --> 0:15:27.990 end of the day, like, I'm not here to to 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.859 affect your bonus at the end of the year. Like, 0:15:29.870 --> 0:15:32.490 I'm here to make sure that our team wins. Right. 0:15:32.500 --> 0:15:34.660 So like if let's say you're going to be personally 0:15:34.660 --> 0:15:37.660 offended by that and I'm sorry, you know, like that's 0:15:37.660 --> 0:15:40.360 just how I am. I mean, sometimes people would rather 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.430 just like slap things under the carpet. 0:15:42.460 --> 0:15:44.860 Oh my gosh, as we did a whole episode on that. 0:15:45.130 --> 0:15:47.830 People like to cite things that happen. Yeah, really. 0:15:48.010 --> 0:15:50.050 That's not really my style when it comes to like 0:15:50.050 --> 0:15:52.240 my dad and my mom, you know, they sometimes they 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.400 just like, you know, these are things going to say 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:57.680 that kind of thing. And I think that that's their generation, right? 0:15:57.700 --> 0:16:00.010 Whereas ours is just kind of like, let's let's get 0:16:00.010 --> 0:16:02.350 it all out there and say, Look at it. Yeah, exactly. 0:16:02.710 --> 0:16:04.840 So I would think that is also because we've had 0:16:04.850 --> 0:16:08.830 the time to grow. We've had media and whatnot to 0:16:09.130 --> 0:16:12.040 to to show us examples, right? So, yeah, like, 0:16:12.490 --> 0:16:14.380 yeah, actually, I think you brought up an interesting point 0:16:14.380 --> 0:16:17.050 when you mention like the generation thing in our parents, 0:16:17.050 --> 0:16:21.090 because this could also stem from a generational thing like, 0:16:21.100 --> 0:16:24.100 you know, the whole alpha male versus female and how 0:16:24.100 --> 0:16:26.710 sometimes alpha males are seen as, oh yeah, OK in 0:16:26.710 --> 0:16:29.830 control and all that. But females might come across a 0:16:29.830 --> 0:16:33.670 bit more negative, you know, because I guess historically back 0:16:33.670 --> 0:16:36.370 in the day, females are known to just be like, OK, 0:16:36.370 --> 0:16:37.810 I'll stay at home, take care of the kids. Yeah, 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.720 I won't work. You know, I'm a housewife. Then everything 0:16:40.990 --> 0:16:43.120 my husband wants to do, I'll say, OK, he's like 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.030 this old. But you know, so yeah, do you think 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.130 could possibly have stemmed from that? And then, you know, 0:16:48.130 --> 0:16:50.710 as we go along in the workplace and even now, 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:54.070 that still has some echoes a hundred percent. 0:16:54.340 --> 0:16:57.820 So I was doing some readings before before this episode, 0:16:58.020 --> 0:17:00.850 and I I remember reading this piece that was by, 0:17:01.060 --> 0:17:03.130 I think, one of the psychologists out there. So they 0:17:03.130 --> 0:17:05.439 did a study, and what they found out was that 0:17:05.859 --> 0:17:11.020 females who had dominant attributes like alpha female attributes, right? Actually, 0:17:11.020 --> 0:17:13.510 most of them come from families whereby they were they 0:17:13.510 --> 0:17:16.870 were shown that it's normal, that, you know, women can 0:17:17.290 --> 0:17:19.420 show these attributes of the US 0:17:19.900 --> 0:17:20.770 to be successful. 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.010 Correct. And and also the fact that like they were given, 0:17:24.010 --> 0:17:26.980 for example, like a role model, that they get that 0:17:27.130 --> 0:17:29.830 they can look up to look up to. Exactly. So, 0:17:29.859 --> 0:17:32.310 you know, it's definitely like a parent thing like this. 0:17:32.310 --> 0:17:35.350 It's definitely something that you cultivate. So I would think 0:17:35.350 --> 0:17:37.389 that our generation is a bit more like progressive in 0:17:37.390 --> 0:17:40.330 that sense, because I would say that some of our parents, perhaps, 0:17:40.330 --> 0:17:42.790 you know, set it to go through. I would say 0:17:42.910 --> 0:17:45.820 the next wave feminism. And then they saw what glass 0:17:45.820 --> 0:17:48.700 ceilings are like and whatnot. And then those values get 0:17:48.700 --> 0:17:50.440 passed down to us, right? And then I would think 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:53.290 that like future generations, we'll see a lot more of 0:17:53.290 --> 0:17:54.380 such growth and progress. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.949 I mean, it also takes us into another sort of 0:17:56.950 --> 0:17:59.710 topic or sidetracked a little bit. We're in a relationship. 0:17:59.710 --> 0:18:02.430 If you are dating, for example, and alpha female or 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.650 like a girl that is independent and successful and financially independent, 0:18:05.980 --> 0:18:09.250 she doesn't mind also like contributing financially to to the 0:18:09.250 --> 0:18:12.190 household and also in the, you know, the bill for 0:18:12.190 --> 0:18:14.470 this dinner. This time I'll get it kind of thing. Yeah. 0:18:14.740 --> 0:18:17.020 And for some guys, I don't know whether to them, 0:18:17.020 --> 0:18:19.030 it feels a little bit like, oh, like, yeah, I 0:18:19.030 --> 0:18:20.619 don't know if I can handle that kind of thing 0:18:20.619 --> 0:18:23.050 because from my own experience and you can share your 0:18:23.050 --> 0:18:25.750 own experiences, I'm sure you have some experience there, too. 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:30.310 For me, I mean, I can name one or two 0:18:30.310 --> 0:18:34.750 guys that I did it before that were intimidated by 0:18:34.750 --> 0:18:37.910 my profession and the things that I do right at 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:39.820 at a much younger age. Back then, when I just 0:18:39.820 --> 0:18:42.190 started out working, you know, suddenly you're like, Wow, I'm 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.800 working earlier and faster and a lot of my peers 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.140 so I can afford to like, open a bottle but 0:18:47.140 --> 0:18:49.240 affects you, something that I've been reading my age, you 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:51.940 might say. But I think because it closed down any 0:18:52.420 --> 0:18:55.869 of it. Yeah. And so some of the guys, they're like, 0:18:55.869 --> 0:18:58.230 Oh man, I don't think I can handle this because like, 0:18:58.510 --> 0:19:00.550 you know, Barbara, I should be the one doing this. 0:19:00.550 --> 0:19:02.619 So why are you always trying to take control of 0:19:02.619 --> 0:19:07.960 of the situation in those aspects? It didn't quite work out, right? Relationships, 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:11.230 you know? Yeah. So I think finding a partner and 0:19:11.230 --> 0:19:15.430 I definitely consider myself pretty independent person, and I don't 0:19:15.430 --> 0:19:17.590 like to be also like told what to do and 0:19:17.590 --> 0:19:19.750 stuff like that. My parents would know this. They have 0:19:20.020 --> 0:19:21.910 had a very difficult time with me when I was 0:19:21.910 --> 0:19:26.830 like a teenager. Yeah. And I think that really causes 0:19:26.830 --> 0:19:29.530 this whole situation where you look for a partner who 0:19:30.130 --> 0:19:33.100 is able to handle that and is also confident in 0:19:33.100 --> 0:19:37.209 himself and is comfortable. So for you to see a 0:19:37.210 --> 0:19:41.110 personal relationship says, have you ever been in a situation 0:19:41.109 --> 0:19:44.350 where you are intimidated by your partner or the other 0:19:44.350 --> 0:19:44.860 way around? 0:19:44.980 --> 0:19:47.470 Actually, no way. I like. I mean, I would like 0:19:47.470 --> 0:19:51.220 that if, let's say, the relationship I am, I'm in 0:19:51.220 --> 0:19:54.250 is one that is like a power couple kind of situation, 0:19:54.609 --> 0:19:56.619 you know, like if, let's say, if my partner is 0:19:56.619 --> 0:19:58.800 opening bottles and whatnot, I'm like, Yeah. 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:02.130 You know, 0:20:02.140 --> 0:20:06.240 you want, you know, how everyone has like this. Yeah, 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.610 like like a squat. Yes. Yes, you look like them 0:20:08.609 --> 0:20:11.510 and all of them are like, you know, powerful. And, 0:20:11.550 --> 0:20:14.669 you know, like, got their lives together. And like, I 0:20:14.670 --> 0:20:16.720 look at couples like that as well, and I'm like, Oh, yeah, 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:18.690 like that. That is like something that I would like 0:20:18.690 --> 0:20:21.420 to emulate as well. So as I say it, like, 0:20:21.420 --> 0:20:23.220 I look for someone who is like, kind of like 0:20:23.220 --> 0:20:25.440 in line a line with what I what I want. 0:20:25.470 --> 0:20:28.200 So I guess, you know, bringing us back to the 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:32.010 whole topic and concept of, you know, alpha male, alpha 0:20:32.010 --> 0:20:35.250 female in your entire life. Have you been exposed to 0:20:35.250 --> 0:20:38.129 more people who are alpha who are more in control 0:20:38.130 --> 0:20:40.230 or who are more giving in that sense, 0:20:40.590 --> 0:20:43.170 even even on TV? Let's see. You know, I watch 0:20:43.170 --> 0:20:45.540 a lot of TV and I've always seen like characters 0:20:45.540 --> 0:20:49.290 and whatnot that, you know, embody those traits. I think 0:20:49.290 --> 0:20:52.620 when I look at my parents, both of them are quite, 0:20:52.619 --> 0:20:56.040 you know, alpha types. I would think that my mom 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:58.830 is a bit more of an alpha female than come 0:20:58.830 --> 0:21:00.330 back to my dad, but I would think that both 0:21:00.330 --> 0:21:04.470 of them are able to be like in control and whatnot. 0:21:05.130 --> 0:21:08.450 So I definitely grew up in an environment where they 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:13.080 definitely cultivate their independence in me. So, yeah, like I 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:15.300 would think that having seen all these kind of like 0:21:15.510 --> 0:21:18.630 examples definitely shaped my perceptions of like, you know, people 0:21:18.630 --> 0:21:19.200 who alpha. 0:21:19.380 --> 0:21:21.860 Yeah, yeah. And I think when it comes to two 0:21:21.869 --> 0:21:24.030 women as well, like I think there should be more 0:21:24.030 --> 0:21:28.250 acceptance in some way instead of a negative connotation as right, 0:21:28.260 --> 0:21:31.080 because sometimes it's like you just need to have each 0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:34.409 other's back and motivate each other instead of like tearing 0:21:34.410 --> 0:21:36.450 each other down. I don't know whether it's just a 0:21:36.450 --> 0:21:39.270 female thing where, OK, if there are too many powerful 0:21:39.270 --> 0:21:42.869 women in one setting, suddenly it becomes a little bit 0:21:42.869 --> 0:21:45.510 of a competitive, bitchy environment, right? Is it the same 0:21:45.510 --> 0:21:46.350 for guys? 0:21:46.410 --> 0:21:49.770 I mean, there is this like like top dog syndrome, right? Right. 0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:51.630 Where sometimes it's just like you kind of have two 0:21:51.630 --> 0:21:54.689 alpha males in an environment. That's what I usually say. Yeah, 0:21:54.690 --> 0:21:57.600 that's what I hear. I do think perhaps there might 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:00.090 be some truth to that. Well, you know, there's this 0:22:00.090 --> 0:22:01.919 whole like, they can be too many cooks in the 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.100 kitchen anyway. Yeah. Like between among guys, I would think. 0:22:05.250 --> 0:22:08.190 To me, it's not so much of like multiple alpha 0:22:08.190 --> 0:22:11.580 people together as most of understanding, like when you need 0:22:11.580 --> 0:22:13.590 to step back and when you need to step up. Yeah. 0:22:14.220 --> 0:22:17.060 I mean, I surround myself with people who are in control. 0:22:17.310 --> 0:22:19.950 So it's not always that like, Oh, I walk around 0:22:19.950 --> 0:22:22.080 people who just say yes to all that I do. 0:22:22.710 --> 0:22:25.500 I don't think that that kind of environment is stimulating 0:22:25.500 --> 0:22:26.910 at all. I think it's a bit like, you know, 0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:27.929 toxic a 0:22:27.930 --> 0:22:30.420 little bit. Yeah, yeah. So so I like it when, when, 0:22:30.420 --> 0:22:33.810 when ideas flow and people go back and forth, you know, like, 0:22:33.810 --> 0:22:36.060 I like it, that everyone around me like knows what 0:22:36.060 --> 0:22:39.740 they want. But that also means that sometimes ideas and clash, 0:22:39.750 --> 0:22:41.850 and it's knowing kind of like how to step back 0:22:41.850 --> 0:22:44.369 and let sometimes the other people be, you know, so, 0:22:44.369 --> 0:22:47.070 so so that's where I feel like that kind of 0:22:47.070 --> 0:22:48.780 situations can be navigated through. 0:22:49.050 --> 0:22:51.060 I think it took me some time as well to 0:22:51.060 --> 0:22:54.600 understand that whole concept of, you know, not always having 0:22:54.600 --> 0:22:56.760 things my way and having to give in a little bit. 0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:58.619 So I don't know because I'm like the only kid 0:22:58.619 --> 0:23:02.070 I grew up with. No, I literally get everything my way, OK, like, 0:23:03.210 --> 0:23:05.940 you know, daddy's going on. It's like, you know, that's 0:23:05.940 --> 0:23:07.800 always give in to their daughters, especially if it's the 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:11.610 only kid, 100 percent, you know, and even, I guess, 0:23:12.030 --> 0:23:14.940 you entering the working world and stuff like that. It 0:23:14.940 --> 0:23:18.000 took me some time and I believe growth as well, 0:23:18.000 --> 0:23:20.609 you know, and maturity to get there for you. Do 0:23:20.609 --> 0:23:22.649 you think it took you also a little bit of 0:23:22.650 --> 0:23:24.840 time to understand, like, hey, you know, I need to 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:28.219 step back also and give other people a chance to lead? 0:23:28.700 --> 0:23:31.350 You know, you know, that question actually let my mind 0:23:31.500 --> 0:23:33.570 to this whole thought process because, you know, when I 0:23:33.570 --> 0:23:36.119 was a kid or I, I I've always felt like, 0:23:36.420 --> 0:23:39.600 how come all these people with experience are so much 0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:42.330 more respect that are given so many more opportunities than 0:23:42.330 --> 0:23:44.100 me because I feel like I can do it, you know, 0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:46.560 at at 18, 19 years? Or I feel like, you 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:48.630 know what, if you give me the opportunity? Yeah, I 0:23:48.630 --> 0:23:50.970 can do something. Yeah. And then of course, I'm a 0:23:50.970 --> 0:23:53.070 little bit older now. You know, I felt like a decade. 0:23:53.070 --> 0:23:55.800 We'll have experience, right? So now I'm in a position whereby, 0:23:55.800 --> 0:23:58.350 you know, like opportunities are coming onto my lap. Yeah, right. 0:23:58.650 --> 0:24:01.200 So my 18 year old self will probably be pointing 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:03.030 at someone like me and saying that like whatever they 0:24:03.030 --> 0:24:05.730 can do, I can do, you know? So where I 0:24:05.730 --> 0:24:09.360 think that that experience has changed me as an individual 0:24:09.570 --> 0:24:12.870 will be learning how to navigate situations like this, you know, 0:24:12.869 --> 0:24:15.630 learning how to work in a team, learning how to 0:24:15.690 --> 0:24:17.850 make sure that, you know, objectives can be met and 0:24:17.850 --> 0:24:20.460 also that people that you work with you are able 0:24:20.460 --> 0:24:22.560 to make sure that everyone's happy at the end of 0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:24.810 the day. Like these are skills that you can only 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:28.410 go through. You can only learn when you go through them. Exactly. Yeah. 0:24:28.410 --> 0:24:30.990 So so that's where my headspace will be. When you 0:24:30.990 --> 0:24:34.199 ask me that question, you know, it's like, has it 0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:36.270 been over time that something that you learned? I'm a 0:24:36.270 --> 0:24:36.629 hundred 0:24:36.630 --> 0:24:39.780 percent. Yeah, I agree as well. And I'm it's not like, 0:24:39.780 --> 0:24:42.389 I'm advocating like, Oh, you should as a woman, you 0:24:42.390 --> 0:24:45.300 should like, tone it down. Sometimes it's not. I mean, 0:24:45.300 --> 0:24:47.490 I don't mean to see it that way, obviously. But 0:24:47.490 --> 0:24:49.379 you know, sometimes for for me as well, it was 0:24:49.380 --> 0:24:53.040 a learning experience to just not be so fiery, like 0:24:53.369 --> 0:24:56.700 First Lady. If we are too fiery or too, you know, involved, 0:24:56.700 --> 0:24:59.240 we don't see it from a broader perspective as well. And. 0:24:59.500 --> 0:25:02.140 You're always stuck in your own lens, right? So I mean, 0:25:02.140 --> 0:25:04.300 that can be very challenging in a group situation. 0:25:04.310 --> 0:25:08.130 It's a it's a main character problem. You know how 0:25:08.200 --> 0:25:11.260 I think that's main character, right? So we we grew 0:25:11.260 --> 0:25:14.440 up in this like environment where reality TV, you know, 0:25:14.440 --> 0:25:18.149 like Gossip Girl. So everyone is like, Yes, this is 0:25:18.609 --> 0:25:22.120 my social Bible. So we grew up like, you know, 0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:24.850 watching all these main characters function and then, you know, 0:25:24.850 --> 0:25:27.820 obviously it's entertainment. It's like drama. But we don't really 0:25:28.030 --> 0:25:30.280 realize that in the real world, sometimes the way we 0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:33.790 say things and and the way we express ourselves to 0:25:33.790 --> 0:25:38.140 people like on TV. Yeah, like so funny and also cool, 0:25:38.290 --> 0:25:40.210 but like in real life, they kind of hurt people. 0:25:40.420 --> 0:25:43.340 So so it's about, you know, like like navigating and learning. 0:25:43.340 --> 0:25:45.729 And oh, if let's say I hurt someone once and 0:25:45.760 --> 0:25:48.070 I'm probably never going to do that again because like, 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:51.160 like there are real feelings involved and like other people 0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:53.679 around you, they are not like characters to a story. 0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:57.359 You know, everyone is living the same life, you know, so. 0:25:57.369 --> 0:26:00.550 So that's where life teaches you lessons. 0:26:00.570 --> 0:26:03.340 You're right when it comes to media movies, you know, 0:26:03.369 --> 0:26:06.100 and social media, even in the way that these stereotyping 0:26:06.100 --> 0:26:11.530 characterize these characters that could have also caused a shift 0:26:11.530 --> 0:26:14.800 in the way people see. Females who are in power 0:26:14.800 --> 0:26:17.180 or in control or more independent, right, because you see 0:26:17.180 --> 0:26:19.980 it on TV is like, Oh, she's always the boss bitch. Yeah, yeah, 0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:22.420 she's always the one. Like, we have no feelings, you know, 0:26:22.420 --> 0:26:26.109 like stone cold walking around like in her heels and 0:26:26.109 --> 0:26:29.350 stuff like that. And that forms impressions. And yeah, maybe 0:26:29.350 --> 0:26:34.600 that's how people started thinking negatively about independent woman could be, 0:26:35.030 --> 0:26:37.179 if anything, that a media, because they want you to 0:26:37.180 --> 0:26:39.790 fall in love of characters. Everything is put in front 0:26:39.790 --> 0:26:42.340 of like rose tinted glasses. Yeah. Whereas in real life, 0:26:42.340 --> 0:26:45.310 it's like it's not really that way. Yeah. Like, things 0:26:45.310 --> 0:26:47.510 can get a bit more gray, a bit more messy. Yeah. 0:26:47.590 --> 0:26:51.370 So you have to definitely like be more aware of 0:26:51.369 --> 0:26:54.250 like how you know, our behavior can affect those around us. 0:26:54.290 --> 0:26:57.189 Yeah, a hundred percent. Thank you so much for chatting 0:26:57.190 --> 0:27:00.550 with us. Is there anything else that you want to 0:27:00.550 --> 0:27:03.520 add on when it comes to, let's say, communication or 0:27:03.520 --> 0:27:07.570 being in, you know, the working industry dealing with being 0:27:07.570 --> 0:27:10.540 surrounded by a lot of independent people and yourself included? 0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:13.540 Sure. I would think that, you know, when we we're 0:27:13.540 --> 0:27:17.320 talking about alpha males and females and whatnot, to me, 0:27:17.320 --> 0:27:19.480 it's like, there's nothing wrong with it. You know, sometimes 0:27:19.480 --> 0:27:22.359 you know, we see how people like, celebrate it. We 0:27:22.359 --> 0:27:24.490 see how people don't like it. At the end of 0:27:24.490 --> 0:27:27.399 the day, it's like just making sure that you are 0:27:27.400 --> 0:27:29.860 not an island. You are working with the people around you. 0:27:29.859 --> 0:27:32.710 You are surrounded by other individuals like make sure that 0:27:32.710 --> 0:27:36.280 you know you are alpha. As your non alpha, you 0:27:36.280 --> 0:27:38.409 make sure that you respect people in the way you 0:27:38.410 --> 0:27:40.959 work and also have a lot of empathy in the 0:27:40.960 --> 0:27:43.449 way you do things and treat other people, then I 0:27:43.450 --> 0:27:45.550 think that, like all will be good. It doesn't matter 0:27:45.550 --> 0:27:46.300 if you alpha or not. 0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:49.960 Yeah, OK. What's to live by? To be honest. Thank 0:27:49.960 --> 0:27:53.080 you so much for listening to this episode of Men Explain. 0:27:53.080 --> 0:27:55.450 If you like what you heard, please follow us up 0:27:55.450 --> 0:27:59.260 over at Apple Music, Spotify and Millicent as well. By 0:27:59.260 --> 0:28:02.230 the way, this is our final episode of the season, 0:28:02.380 --> 0:28:04.210 so please let us know what else you would like 0:28:04.210 --> 0:28:07.090 to hear in the coming episodes. And in the meantime, 0:28:07.090 --> 0:28:10.480 follow us up on Instagram at its Clarity School for updates.