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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: The Ryan Reshow from southern California. This is the Ryan

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Speaker 2: Reese Show. Post your questions using at Ryan Reese on

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Speaker 2: his Instagram or Facebook. Are you ready? Ready?

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Speaker 3: All right? How you guys doing? Thank you for tuning in.

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Speaker 4: I am actually in a hotel room right now in

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Speaker 4: Chile in Vigna del Mar, down by the beach. We

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Speaker 4: had some revival nights happening down here. They were amazing.

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Speaker 4: And I have my friend Edit, which stands for R

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Speaker 4: because he's a pirate r eded.

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Speaker 1: Now why do they call you Edit? Well, okay, first

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Speaker 1: of all, is are you're supposed to roll the rs

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Speaker 1: at Spanish? Exactly? That's good. That was very good because

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Speaker 1: of my name. Yeah, I'm Brodrigo Ramiitez. I have a

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Speaker 1: lot of rs in my name, So I just called

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Speaker 1: myself R in Spanish and people called me like that.

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Speaker 3: My name is Ryan Rees. How come they you know,

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Speaker 3: they don't call me.

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Speaker 1: R because because this doesn't sounds role. You had to

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Speaker 1: roll the R to the role exactly, like just like

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Speaker 1: Manharta exactly, Manhara.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing that we don't have in America

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Speaker 3: is we don't have the rs.

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Speaker 1: You know, you don't have a little thing we have

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Speaker 1: in exactly.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So who are you to these people? You are?

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Speaker 3: You have been? We become friends, first of all.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, yeah, I want you to tell your test, right,

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Speaker 4: but I want to tell you how so people can

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Speaker 4: understand who you are to me. We became friends when

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Speaker 4: I came to I up in the north of Chile,

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Speaker 4: when we were turning the schools. You were the translator, exactly,

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Speaker 4: the best translator in the world, sorry, Hesser, Joe.

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Speaker 3: No, actually you're the best in South America. Hesser is

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Speaker 3: the best in Mexico. Okay. Two different areas, right.

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Speaker 1: Just different, two different regions. Regions we should have like

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Speaker 1: a like a like a trans off them. Sorry, contest

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Speaker 1: of the translators.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, translator off, and you'll have to you have to

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Speaker 4: translate Donald Trump.

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Speaker 3: And that's the way we can do it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but you don't tell me it's easier too to

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Speaker 1: try that most pet mouse Americans, I would say, I

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Speaker 1: would say, so he's very eloquent and you can tell

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Speaker 1: what he's saying. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: So you have been a translator that I've worked with

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Speaker 4: for years, and now you've been translating me here down

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Speaker 4: at the revival nights and at the conference, and you

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Speaker 4: have an amazing story of God's grace, of of a

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Speaker 4: story that growing up in the church, things went sideways.

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Speaker 4: You walked away from God, got in a very dark,

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Speaker 4: deep place, and then God got.

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Speaker 3: To hold you.

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Speaker 4: And I'll just give people that just to hold on

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Speaker 4: to so they could listen to the story. But this

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Speaker 4: is gonna be a journey of God's redemption in one's

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Speaker 4: life that ended in a very.

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Speaker 3: Dark, dark place.

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Speaker 4: So if you're listening right now, watching on YouTube, listen

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Speaker 4: on the radio podcast, put on your seatbelt because we're

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Speaker 4: gonna go on a roller coaster ride right now, and

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Speaker 4: just to see how powerful God is and how he

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Speaker 4: reaches into the depth, into the darkness to pull people

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Speaker 4: out and bring them into the light supernaturally powerfully.

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Speaker 3: So let's let's let's get into it. Man, Like, where'd

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Speaker 3: you grow up in Chili?

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Speaker 1: So I grew up in Arica, that's like four hours

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Speaker 1: from Ikikin, right next to the border with Peru in

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Speaker 1: the north. Because Chili is long, she lives the very long,

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Speaker 1: longest country in the world. You could you could like

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Speaker 1: if you put Chile on a map. Yeah, it's like

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Speaker 1: driving from from the south to the north. It's like

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Speaker 1: driving from coast to coast in America.

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Speaker 4: It's that long, that long, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, because

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Speaker 4: it takes about five hours to drive from the top

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Speaker 4: from fly from the top to the north, like five hour.

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Speaker 1: Flight, no lot less no, from the very bottom yeah

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Speaker 1: to the top. Yeah yeah, it takes like five hours.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's long. It's like yeah for l A

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Speaker 3: and New York.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it but it's thin exactly, like we like

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Speaker 1: we don't have we don't have it Chile. We don't

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Speaker 1: have in Chile, like it cost Away or or East

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, like everything herself, it's coast or not coast.

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Speaker 4: Right right, yeah, because you have the and these mountains here.

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Speaker 4: So what's interesting about Chili. What's your little background on Chili? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: all these oceans.

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Speaker 1: All the way down huge yeah, long long coast, all

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Speaker 1: the Pacific Ocean, the Andes Mountain mountains orb next to Argentina, yep,

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Speaker 1: and in which we love by the way, we love them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and these mountains is amazing for snowboarding as well.

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Speaker 4: So there's a lot of snowboarding stuff. The beaches are

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Speaker 4: amazing exactly.

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Speaker 1: Is ChIL is a very interesting country because you have

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Speaker 1: all the all the places are like desert and you

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Speaker 1: can snowboard. You go to the south and you can

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Speaker 1: hag those what do you call it, a lot of

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Speaker 1: green places, mountains, people come to different type of things.

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Speaker 1: Is a it's a really good place to shoot movies

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to make like like they almost shoot

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Speaker 1: a lot of the rings here really because of all

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Speaker 1: the different places. Yeah, they could do everything they needed, right,

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Speaker 1: but because if it was just more convenient to do

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Speaker 1: in New Zealand they need.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's interesting.

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Speaker 4: It's because, yeah, because it's so such a wide stretch

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Speaker 4: of land exactly all the the because you guys got

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Speaker 4: penguins at the bottom. Yeah, you're right down there, and

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Speaker 4: then you go all the way to the desert to

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Speaker 4: the north, and we had like the driest desert.

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Speaker 3: On the Yeah, so you have all these different landscapes.

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Speaker 3: It's amazing.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, it's it's it is definitely a little gold gem.

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Speaker 4: You need to check out. It's just like you know,

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Speaker 4: a lot of people don't know, but it's very in Santiago.

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Speaker 4: The city very very modern. Like literally we were out

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Speaker 4: down we were eating it that one like multi layer

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Speaker 4: outdoor restaurant and and and all the things.

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Speaker 3: It was so nice. It's just amazing.

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Speaker 4: It's like you have, like you have the South American influence,

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Speaker 4: you have the European, you have the America.

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Speaker 3: It's just like it's just.

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Speaker 1: A mixture of every everything related to like Western culture.

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Speaker 3: You got the best of all in one spot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's incredible.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, Okay, well let's let's get your story. So you

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Speaker 3: grew up at the very north.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's way not it's difficult to there, even even

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Speaker 1: if you come from the outside. You have to take

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Speaker 1: a plane to Santiago and then like get two hours

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Speaker 1: or another plane to get there. It's like nothing happens there.

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Speaker 1: It's a small town, like a really really small town.

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Speaker 1: And this was like the early nineties. Yeah, so a

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Speaker 1: lot not a.

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Speaker 3: Lot of things to really really small town back then.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because there's a lot of development that's been happening

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Speaker 4: over the last twenty years.

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Speaker 3: True.

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Speaker 1: True, But back then when I was a kid, like

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Speaker 1: really small town. But Calverty Chapel got there. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: they had like Clvert Chapel in Nikki in the nineties

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Speaker 1: and Riiqua in the nineties and all over the place

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Speaker 1: there was a bunch of Calverty chapels and being in Paris,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, I'm sorry. Then what happened is that I

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Speaker 1: grew up in the family that went to that church,

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Speaker 1: Calverty Chapel. Back then it was called Kapilla Calvario. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it was called in Spanish. What do they call now

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Speaker 1: chapel in English?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that does that.

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Speaker 1: A correct translation is the exact word by word Translationari.

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Speaker 1: But it's got rebrand a kind of because it it's

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Speaker 1: more faithful to the movement if we call it Calbarty Chapel,

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Speaker 1: you know. But back then you couldn't remember. But in

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Speaker 1: the nineties you couldn't call it Calverty Chapel because nobody

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Speaker 1: will understand what.

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Speaker 3: They don't speak English exactly exactly.

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Speaker 1: English wasn't a thing here as much as it is now.

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Speaker 1: So my family went there to my dad was the

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Speaker 1: worship leader. I had many siblings, so I have my

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Speaker 1: mom and dad to two older brothers, one older sister,

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Speaker 1: a younger brother. And that's when I grew up. You know,

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Speaker 1: we went to church. I will go to like what

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Speaker 1: do you call it Sunday School? So I learned all

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Speaker 1: the all the classics from the Bible, you know, like Sansandalailah,

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Speaker 1: Adam and Eve. Everything from the children's stories. We'll learn

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Speaker 1: about God, I will learn about I never believe other

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Speaker 1: stuff than that. At first, I didn't. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: believe in Santa Claus because I was like very young,

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Speaker 1: and some kids mentioned mentioned Santa and and it was

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Speaker 1: what is that. Yeah, it's a it's a it's a

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Speaker 1: fake story about a guy who gives you a present. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I never was even exposed to that. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I remember like all the adults, most of the adults

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Speaker 1: in that church were came out of drug addiction, alcoholism,

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Speaker 1: broken families, and they got together in this small Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was a small church, like forty people, fifty people

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Speaker 1: maybe at best. And I grew up there with a

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Speaker 1: lot of friends. One of them actually was it the conference,

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Speaker 1: really tall guy, you remember him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he was wearing a hoodie.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, long hair, very But they're in the South now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yea.

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Speaker 3: They were bragging about making Manhart.

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Speaker 4: You know they brought you Mahart, Yeah they did. They

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Speaker 4: were talking about me going to the South and then

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Speaker 4: making like making.

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Speaker 1: Oh, they know how to make it because they know

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Speaker 1: how to how to make it, and that guy, I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to make it. Yeah, you had to

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Speaker 1: learn so you can make it on your own. I'm

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Speaker 1: going and put uh.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna start with the cows. They said, you got

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Speaker 4: to milk the cows, and then you.

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Speaker 1: Got yeah, and you can do that on the stage

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Speaker 1: and get your own Mahart business. And who knows, who knows.

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Speaker 3: Who knows? So yeah, he was there. So he was

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Speaker 3: one of your friends from up north.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, we grew up in that same church. That

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Speaker 1: used to go there too. And then well that church

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Speaker 1: had more than one pastor of the years, and they

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Speaker 1: usually they will like step out because of a scandal

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Speaker 1: or something like that. And eventually this pastor, the last

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Speaker 1: pastor there in those years in the late nineties, he he,

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Speaker 1: he will he How can I say this gently? He

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Speaker 1: was cheating on his wife with another woman from the church,

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Speaker 1: and he eventually he left his wife. His wife moved

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Speaker 1: out of town with his children, and he stayed living

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Speaker 1: with this other woman. This other woman was the wife

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Speaker 1: of the worship leader who was my dad. So he

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Speaker 1: was cheating with his on his wife with your mom

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Speaker 1: with my mother. Yeah, and they hid it for many

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Speaker 1: months over the that year nineteen ninety nine. Yeah, ninety nine.

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Speaker 1: I was nine. I was born in nineteen ninety so yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's how I remember it. But then my parents got divorced.

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Speaker 1: My older siblings stayed with my dad. Me and my

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Speaker 1: younger brothers stayed with my mom. We went to live

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Speaker 1: with this guy.

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Speaker 4: So it's and you stayed in the Did your dad

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Speaker 4: stay in that city and your mom stay in that

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Speaker 4: city or.

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Speaker 1: They both stay in the city for a couple of

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Speaker 1: years and then we moved out to another to another town.

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Speaker 1: But during those first couple of years, I was living

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Speaker 1: in this pastor's house and I slept where his children

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Speaker 1: used to sleep in the room. It was crazy because

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Speaker 1: of the divorce. Back then, we didn't have loss for

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Speaker 1: divorce here in Chile because of the Catholic Church. They

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Speaker 1: didn't allow it and they had a lot of power

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Speaker 1: in the nineties. Yes, but it took a while until

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Speaker 1: you could legally get divorced.

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Speaker 3: Okay, got it, So.

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Speaker 1: They didn't get divorced legally, but they were like separated.

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Speaker 1: My dad moved on after after a while. My dad

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Speaker 1: like remarried and with a woman with two children of

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Speaker 1: their own. Your dad remarried like a year later with

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Speaker 1: that girl with another woman, another woman. Yeah, no, with

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Speaker 1: another woman who had kids. They're still together to this day.

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Speaker 1: And those two kids are my stepbrothers. The sons are

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Speaker 1: my nephews. You see, they see me as an uncle.

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Speaker 1: We grew up together. It's a very family. Yeah, not tied,

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Speaker 1: but we're close enough, like we grew up together. We're brothers.

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Speaker 1: When God restored my dad's life, my dad's testimony is

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Speaker 1: it's very what do you call it, not shocking, but

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Speaker 1: very pactful. My dad grew up and what do you

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Speaker 1: call it? A mind field in the He was born

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Speaker 1: in the fifties in the north in assault assault mine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and he's get this. My grandfather was an alcoholic and

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Speaker 1: my grand mother was with my dad when he was

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Speaker 1: like very young, and he was one of those alcoholics

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Speaker 1: that will get like jealous thoughts. So he will drink

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Speaker 1: a little bit and imagine his wife cheating on him,

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Speaker 1: so he will go home and be very violent with her.

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Speaker 1: So my grandmother, to defend herself, had to sleep with

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Speaker 1: a with a stick, with a metal stick with my

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Speaker 1: dad as a baby, no way every night. So the

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Speaker 1: earliest memory of my dad was him sleeping with his

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Speaker 1: mom with a metal stick in case of his father

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Speaker 1: coming home and beating both of them.

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Speaker 4: There's something about alcohol, because they called spirits in America.

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Speaker 4: There's like a different spirit that takes over. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: you just become crazy.

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Speaker 1: I once read in a and beclm violent. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: once read that this testimony by a former Satanist, Satanist,

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Speaker 1: sorry Satanist, this guy who was into the occult, this form,

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Speaker 1: this former Satanist wrote that one of the things that

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Speaker 1: all of the guys who are deep into the occult,

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Speaker 1: they drink a lot really because when they get possessed,

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Speaker 1: they need that to like like keep the demons like

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Speaker 1: a like and I'm not at bay, but this the

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Speaker 1: only way they can really function is by like drinking

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Speaker 1: a lot, like like when they're possessed, they possessed.

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Speaker 3: Really.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I read. I haven't been able and

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Speaker 1: why is that I had read I read this book

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Speaker 1: like ten years ago. But it has to do with them,

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Speaker 1: with the concept of when you get possessed by a spirit,

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Speaker 1: but an evil spirit, when you're into the occult and

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Speaker 1: all that you need to feed them. You need to

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Speaker 1: feed that that spirit somehow to keep them a vage.

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Speaker 1: That's that's why they can like real when you're posid,

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Speaker 1: you be really strong.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's something supernatural happening in their bodies. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they can like function like normal human beings if

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Speaker 1: they drink a lot when they're in a certain level.

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Speaker 1: Because this guy who wrote the book, I think his name.

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Speaker 3: Was, We're gonna tell me after I want more details

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Speaker 3: on them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, William, that's wi William something Lucy for the Throne.

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Speaker 1: That was the name of the book.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna look it up after.

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Speaker 4: And then you know, we're we were we were talking

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Speaker 4: about alcohol, how it makes you violent, and your grandfather.

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Speaker 1: Used to be violent with alcohol. Yes, But then eventually

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Speaker 1: my dad grew up, he got his life together, he

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Speaker 1: married my mom, he he he was building his own thing.

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing that one of the stories that

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Speaker 1: my dad told me when I was a kid was

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Speaker 1: how he got saved because he grew up as a Catholic.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was a Catholic. But yeah, and he was walking

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Speaker 1: to his house from job, from from his from his job,

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Speaker 1: and they were doing this outreach this evangelism on the streets,

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Speaker 1: on a public space like a square square or park

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Speaker 1: something like that. And look at this. The preacher is

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Speaker 1: teaching the gospel, reading Bible verses, explaining the gospel, explaining

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Speaker 1: the whole deal. And he's there, and some thing happened

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Speaker 1: to him. Like he didn't he didn't believe in the

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Speaker 1: maangelical churches. He grew up Catholic, but he wasn't very interested.

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Speaker 1: But something happened to him. Yeah, so he walked front

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Speaker 1: when they made an auto call, but he got a

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Speaker 1: bit late for some reasons. So the people in the

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Speaker 1: auto call were already in a line in the front,

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Speaker 1: in the front, and they were all like like on

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Speaker 1: their knees like praying, and he didn't know exactly what

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Speaker 1: to do, so so he just scooted over like the

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Speaker 1: last next to the last guy when went on his

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Speaker 1: knees and started praying and following the leader. The leader

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Speaker 1: praying right somebody. He was with his eyes closed, and

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Speaker 1: somebody got next to him put his hand on his

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Speaker 1: back and then his shoulder and just stayed there, didn't

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Speaker 1: say anything, just putting put his hands on him. My

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Speaker 1: dad prayed, got saved, and then he they get up

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Speaker 1: and he's like Joey for you know, he got saved,

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Speaker 1: and he starts asking telling people he thank you for

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Speaker 1: being here, thank you for this, thank for Hey. I

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Speaker 1: want to thank the man who came right next to me,

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Speaker 1: no way, and the guy who were like, nobody was

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Speaker 1: next to you. Nobody was next to you.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, something was next to me. Somebody came to me,

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Speaker 1: got underneath and put their hands on me. Dude, I'm

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Speaker 1: not joking. We're here on the front. We saw the

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Speaker 1: whole thing. Nobody was there. That's how my dad got saved.

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Speaker 3: Wow. I love that. Yeah, incredible.

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Speaker 1: Years later, the Calvary Chapel movement got to Arica and

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Speaker 1: my dad got involved in there. And my dad was

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Speaker 1: a musician and music teacher and he got involved with

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Speaker 1: the Calvary Chapel. Then. I think it was nineteen ninety three.

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Speaker 1: I was like three years old, so I don't remember,

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Speaker 1: but I do remember going to places and looking like

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Speaker 1: the dove symbol from a very early age, seeing books

341
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Speaker 1: and hearing about his name, Shack Smith and all the

342
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Speaker 1: big names you know. And by nineteen ninety nine the

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Speaker 1: divorce happened. We were separated separated with my family because

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Speaker 1: of the divorce. Did you get you get a lot

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Speaker 1: of things changing, like they still cars, they stay home.

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Speaker 1: They saw a lot of stuff, a lot of mom

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Speaker 1: mooney moves when people get divorced.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, So.

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Speaker 1: Somebody in the whole process said, Okay, this kid is

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get him a video game console so he

351
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Speaker 1: can Like how old are you at this time? Nine

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Speaker 1: years No, I was ten already.

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Speaker 4: Before we jump into the video game stuff. For a

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Speaker 4: nine year old? What was going on at this time?

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Speaker 4: Did you realize the magnitude? Did you understand, like what

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Speaker 4: was really going on? Like you were separating for your family.

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Speaker 4: Did it affect you?

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Speaker 3: Were you were?

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Speaker 1: You?

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Speaker 3: Were you? Like, how were you emotionally feeling during.

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Speaker 4: This whole separation, Because that's that's very interesting, the fact

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Speaker 4: that half your family with your mom and half your

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Speaker 4: family went with your dad. That must have been hard

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Speaker 4: being separated from your brothers and sisters or your siblings.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it was like a there was a

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Speaker 1: sense of brokenness, but I didn't fully understanding, understanding because

367
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Speaker 1: but but he was crazy because this pastor to me

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Speaker 1: was another adult friend, right right, So he was like

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Speaker 1: when you grew when you grew up in a church,

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Speaker 1: like most of the adults are like older friends, right,

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Speaker 1: and you don't see the difference between the fifty year

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Speaker 1: olds the thirty year olds.

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Speaker 3: Everyone is just like the church family.

374
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I remember playing with their with their kids.

375
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Speaker 1: We were friends. We were all friends. And suddenly boom, like,

376
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Speaker 1: my mom's not at home. Why is my dad acting weird?

377
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Speaker 1: Why am my older brother and sister like they're hiding

378
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Speaker 1: something from me. I could tell something was going on.

379
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Speaker 1: I remember like, uh, hearing phone calls, like my dad

380
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Speaker 1: would be on the on the what do you call it,

381
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Speaker 1: in the living room talking with somebody from the leadership

382
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Speaker 1: and the church, and I would just hide somewhere and yeah,

383
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Speaker 1: listen and listen to it. Oh, this is happening. So

384
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Speaker 1: I figured it out like days before, like weeks before

385
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Speaker 1: it went public. I kind of figured it out on

386
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Speaker 1: my own. But then eventually my dad sat with me

387
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Speaker 1: and said, hey, this is happening. Your mom's leaving for

388
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Speaker 1: this and that whatever. He explained to me the whole thing,

389
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Speaker 1: very very very explicitly. He did. He trusted that I

390
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Speaker 1: could get it, but it did shatter the image I

391
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Speaker 1: had of a lot of people, especially this pastor, because

392
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Speaker 1: then I realized that he had like a history of

393
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Speaker 1: sleeping around with women and cheating on his wife with

394
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Speaker 1: women from the church or not the church. Uh, this

395
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Speaker 1: church actually had I've almost forgot about this, but they

396
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 1: had like a what do you call it, a like

397
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Speaker 1: another location outside of the city, like a ranch where

398
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Speaker 1: this pastor used to live. And it was a big land,

399
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Speaker 1: you know, a lot of room, and they had like

400
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Speaker 1: small houses for people who got no home, who were

401
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 1: broken families because of the addiction, the drug victor of

402
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Speaker 1: the alcoholism. So a lot of these broken families lived there.

403
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Speaker 1: And most of these people I remember them. I remember

404
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Speaker 1: going to that place and having fun as a kid,

405
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 1: you know. But that all like disappeared completely and I

406
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 1: didn't see a lot of them ever again after the divorce.

407
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Speaker 1: Some of them. I once saw one of them who

408
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 1: was like a drug addict. I saw him back on

409
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Speaker 1: the streets, like back next year, right, I saw him.

410
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Speaker 3: Like it always affects when there's when the leader.

411
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Speaker 4: Yeah, they all get out, everyone scatters and everyone gets affected.

412
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Speaker 1: Yes, Like most half of them went to different churches

413
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Speaker 1: because they had they wanted to keep keep full. Yeah,

414
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Speaker 1: but okay, this happened were we and my family were

415
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Speaker 1: still following God. Some people just go get got back

416
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Speaker 1: to the world. I remember like being with my dad

417
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Speaker 1: on Saturday, because I got to see my dad on weekends. Right,

418
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Speaker 1: We parked the cards somewhere and I saw one of

419
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Speaker 1: the guys like back on the streets, like like doing

420
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Speaker 1: street stuff, you know, like to survive. Uh so yeah,

421
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 1: it was very were you going back?

422
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Speaker 3: So did you guys? Because your dad was. He still

423
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Speaker 3: at the church too, and.

424
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Speaker 1: He kept no dude, he kept being the worship leader,

425
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Speaker 1: but eventually he had to take charge. They take the

426
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Speaker 1: church as a pastor.

427
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Speaker 3: He became the pastor of the church.

428
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow for many months, for many months he was

429
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Speaker 1: in charge of the Sunday studies and like he became

430
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Speaker 1: the pastor for for a while. Imagine that. Yeah, you're

431
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 1: doing the you're thing of the church. You're the worship leader,

432
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Speaker 1: your wife cheats on you with the pastor, they leave,

433
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Speaker 1: you become the pastor. You become the pastor. They all

434
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Speaker 1: scattered and just a small bunch of people stay there. Yeah,

435
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Speaker 1: and you have to leave them now.

436
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Speaker 3: Wow.

437
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: Like my dad struggled a lot on those times and

438
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: I remember, like I remember him Leaven, like thinking all

439
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: the all the violent stuff that comes to your head

440
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: as a man when you're when somebody cheats on you,

441
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 1: I can imagine, Yeah you could you gonna still like

442
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: the rage and then.

443
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 3: You're still trying to walk with God with all that

444
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 3: crazy stuff in your head. Yeah, Like it's very tough.

445
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 1: It's tough. Eventually, Uh, a man from Vienna or Carlos

446
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: Theo came as a pastor to that church and he's

447
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 1: the pastor of that church to this day.

448
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 3: Uh.

449
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: And then most of the people just scattered and were like, uh,

450
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: like I renowal of the people.

451
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so read the church re rebuilt.

452
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: Except for one family that stayed there for the whole time.

453
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 3: The whole time.

454
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 1: So that happened there. I my dad became the pastador

455
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: and then he stepped down, and he kept he kept

456
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: following Jesus. He never like, he never what to call

457
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: he never denied the faith. And that did leave an

458
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: impact on an impact on me because reflecting on it,

459
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: I wasn't a Christian when I was like teenager in

460
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: my early twenties, but I never like I was never

461
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: angry at God for all that happened other people. I

462
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: think I think I could have been because how could

463
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: good let this happen? Whatever in my head, like, no,

464
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: I know that those people make choices. Wow, I understood

465
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: that My mom was complicated, my dad was complicated. Everyone,

466
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 1: every adult was complicated. And when you're a kid, you

467
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: think adults have all figured it out. And now that

468
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm an adult, you realize we don't know. We really don't.

469
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: Adulthood is about having not figured out things and doing

470
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: dishes all the time. That's adulthood, not true. And then

471
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 1: and then I got like eventually it got hold of

472
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: a video game console, a PlayStation. I used to like

473
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 1: video games, so they gave me that because they have

474
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: a lot of a bunch of money that came out

475
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: of selling stuff and like houses and stuff. And that's

476
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: how I got to learn English from a very young age.

477
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 3: Video games.

478
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's because I knew the basic grammar from school

479
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: and knew a couple of words, and then by playing stuff,

480
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: I will like internalize phrases and rules and words that

481
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know, right, right, That's how I started learning English.

482
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: And also movies and tivatos and all the culture that

483
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 1: the States will bring to the world, right to the

484
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: west of the least. And during that time, this, this

485
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: is already the two thousands, I didn't get to see

486
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 1: my half of my family for a long time, you know,

487
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 1: like I would see my dad on the weekends, my

488
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: sister and my brother on the week on Saturdays, maybe Sundays,

489
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: and Christmas parties maybe New Year. When you're in a

490
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: divorced family, you get everything twice. You get twice twice.

491
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: The dinner, yeah, yes, twice, the Christmas twice. There is,

492
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 1: everything's twice. But the have the families have exactly that's

493
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 1: the problem. And very sort detail about this whole thing

494
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: is that when I was like five, I think four

495
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: or five years old, my older sister, because she was

496
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 1: always like a believer, she like in the church. I

497
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: saw her. She's eight years older than me, and she

498
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: was very faithful from a very early age. And she

499
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: gave my dad a keychain, a little keychain, you know,

500
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: with with the drawing she made on a computer back

501
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: then in the nineties was very basic. But the drawing

502
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 1: was this was a picture of a man a stick

503
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: drawing streak drawer of a man looking at the sky

504
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: with stars, you know, blue skies with white stars and

505
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: a light shining upon him, and she put a Bible

506
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: verse John three sixteen for God soul loved the world.

507
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: I know it in Spanish, you know, yeah, yeah, we know.

508
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: And I remember that as one of the one of

509
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: my earliest memory from like five years old, four years

510
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 1: old was that keychain. And during that time with after

511
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: the divorce, playing video games and like living my life

512
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: as a kid. Eventually I got I got a computer

513
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 1: to and with the pastor, with a former pastor, if

514
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 1: you can call that a pastor. Anyways, we moved to

515
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: another city. We moved to another city in Cokimbo, which

516
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: is halfway between Ikek and Santiago, like halfway there. And

517
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: I was for a year. I didn't get to see

518
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: my dad on weekends, my siblings, my friends, anything, So.

519
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 3: I was a whole. Everything's changed, Everything.

520
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: Changes, and you feel lonely, right because you didn't have

521
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: new city, you didn't have friends, you didn't have anything.

522
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: So one time I was on the computer playing around

523
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: and I used this software that we had in the

524
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 1: late nineties and two thousand of the paint Microsoft Paint,

525
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: So I remade that drawing the Yeah, what your sister drew. Yeah,

526
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 1: but I didn't put the Bible words.

527
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 3: I don't know why.

528
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: I just didn't. I feel awkward. I felt awkward.

529
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: You know.

530
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: I was thirteen at the time. I was already teenager,

531
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 1: already had my own ideas going and yeah, yeah, toy,

532
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: but I couldn't do it. It's crazy. I just couldn't.

533
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 1: I wanted, but I couldn't. And then I kept living

534
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 1: my life. Eventually, by next year this my stepdaughter and

535
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: my stepfather now and my mom split.

536
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 4: Okay, so now they break up. So it's from nine

537
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: to thirteen years old, right.

538
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, from nine to thirteen, like they stayed together for

539
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: like four years. Yeah, they had a daughter, which lives

540
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: with my mom. Now is my little sister we grew

541
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: up together. She's she's she's a very lovely, lovely girl.

542
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: She's she's probably twenty something now. I also forget her age.

543
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: My older brother is twelve years older than me, and

544
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: my younger sister is twelve years older than me. Team

545
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: something around bad. I'm right in the middle. I'm the

546
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: middle kid, like I guess, like my older sister is

547
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 1: eight years older and my other brother is eight years

548
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: younger and so on until until me. I don't have

549
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 1: like an equivalent of that. Yeah, when I was fourteen,

550
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 1: we moved back to Arica, to my hometown, so I

551
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 1: got to see my dad more and my family more.

552
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: I got into high school and now all the things

553
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: that happen in high school, you get, you make friends,

554
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: you get it like girls. You have to study for stuff,

555
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: and you have to do a lot of things. And

556
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: that's when that's when things started to turn for the

557
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: for the worst personally.

558
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 4: Okay, I want to stop you right there because we're

559
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 4: gonna come back in two minutes after the break. I

560
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 4: have Eda, which has for our rod Rigo from it

561
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 4: fromis here in Uh, we're in Vignya right now. But

562
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 4: you guys are up in Theikiki now and the story

563
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: is intense, and there's so many people that relate to

564
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 4: the story Oak and homes.

565
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 3: But now you're about to enter a very dark time.

566
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 4: And then we're gonna see how God's gonna pull you

567
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 4: back out and get you on your feet. But you're

568
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 4: gonna go through a lot of crazy stuff from this point. Yeah,

569
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 4: all right, you guys, Well, I love you guys. Thank

570
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 4: you for tuning in. If you want to get all

571
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 4: the pot past podcasts and shows go to Ryandashrees dot com.

572
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 3: I'm also on YouTube.

573
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 4: You can get them, you can like them and send

574
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 4: them to your friends and subscribe amazing stories. Check out

575
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 4: the Whosoervers dot com too. We got products and we

576
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 4: got tours going global right now, bringing the gospel to

577
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 4: the public schools all around the world, and the Revival

578
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 4: night to the church and store hitting the streets in

579
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 4: the public schools and the churches by night. It's the

580
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 4: Jesus Ministry. So we love you guys, keep us in prayer.

581
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 4: We'll be back in two minutes with edit piece.

582
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 2: More of the Ryan Rees Show coming up. Host your

583
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 2: questions at Ryan Reese on his Instagram, Twitter and or Facebook.

584
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: Now back back to the Ryan Reese Show.

585
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 4: All right, all right, we are back with edit down

586
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 4: here in Vienna, del mar in Chile, and Man, the

587
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 4: testimony from the first half is intense. You know these

588
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 4: are old statistics, but I know five years ago I

589
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 4: heard the statistic about California that fifty percent of people

590
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 4: come from broken homes, like half of it. And you

591
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 4: have and you know it's more now, you know, so

592
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 4: this your story is very relatable and out here you

593
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 4: are going to high school, and this is when things

594
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 4: start getting dark.

595
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 3: Take us through that journey to how you found God.

596
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: Okay, so things got dark in a way that I

597
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: didn't realize at first. Yeah, because I was a high

598
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: schooler and I you gotta understand that I never processed

599
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: the divorce. I never processed. I never grieved over it, right,

600
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: I never cried about it. I never did anything like

601
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: related to that. An out of my my mom's sister

602
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: one time that sat down with me when I was

603
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: like ten or nine, and he she sorry, She told me,

604
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: how are you? How are you dealing with it? Nobody

605
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: asked me that? And I got to hug her and,

606
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: you know, cry a little bit. But by this time,

607
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: fourteen fifteen, I didn't grieve about it. And there's a

608
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: lot of issues also personally, like regards to my family,

609
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,239
Speaker 1: there's a lot of how do you call it? I

610
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: never felt like I could fit in even in my

611
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: own family, especially after the divorce, because like my siblings

612
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: were a bit older than me.

613
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 3: Older and then yet the way younger you were just

614
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: kind of.

615
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: Just I was right in the middle. So the only

616
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: thing I had was video games, So I kind of

617
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: sheltered myself in that. Of course I got addicted because

618
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: they're very addictive, and that's how like my main addiction

619
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: there was like the dopamine you get from it, like

620
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: the sense of reward, and all addictions there are ways

621
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: of hiding or dealing with emotional pain. There's always a

622
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: card underneath every addiction. There's always an issue that needs

623
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: to be fixed or salt or heal from, so you

624
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: can no longer need that addiction and you can like

625
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: move on. But I didn't know that as a fourteen

626
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: years old. So at that time we already had the

627
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: internet with everything. The world was changing, you know, the

628
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: early two thousands, and I got a At some point

629
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: I left my mom. Okay, when I was fifteen, I

630
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:01,239
Speaker 1: left my mother because she broke up with the with

631
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: my stepfather. She broke up, We moved back to hometown,

632
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: and she was she had her own issues that made

633
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: it made it very difficult for me to live with her.

634
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: So I at fifteen, I just moved out. I just

635
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: moved out. I left. I left my mom's house and

636
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: gladly my dad could take me in. Now he had

637
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: this new family, he remarried, had this my step brothers. Yeah,

638
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: and I could live there.

639
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 3: But was this in the north or in the north.

640
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: So you're back, you're back in back in my hometown,

641
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: and yeah, I had this like suddenly I have this

642
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: like and again a new family, which is interesting where

643
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: I don't fully fit in. They're still going to a church,

644
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: is still going to a culvert chapel sometimes but not

645
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: so Much's my dad is no longer that involved, but

646
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: he's still in the faith to most of the basic

647
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: things that I know from the Bible and stuff come

648
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,959
Speaker 1: from the example. He said. I was very young and

649
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: at this point I had like the access to the

650
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: Internet and no adult supervision. And here was this two

651
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: thousand and four to two thousand.

652
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 3: Things already happening on the Internet at this point.

653
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, big time. Yeah, Yeah, I mean it was

654
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: very The internet back then didn't have algorithms. No, No,

655
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,280
Speaker 1: it was the wild West. Anybody could put on anything,

656
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: and it was it would just fly by and then

657
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: nobody cared. Yeah unless Metallica if you were like sharing

658
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 1: the music, stealing the music, nap after nap. But it

659
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: was very to me to get into this what do

660
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: you call it, like this programs that software that you

661
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: could use to download music and video and stuff like

662
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: that back in the two thousand, So I did that.

663
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: Did you listen to music? I like rock music, metal

664
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: music and stuff, and then videos and stuff like that,

665
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: And eventually I came across some porn and I kind

666
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 1: of really I was fourteen, it was like hooked on it. Yeah,

667
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: it's very that's also very addictive.

668
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: Very addictive and very very.

669
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 1: That kicked a really crumpling addiction with with porn at

670
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:14,479
Speaker 1: that time.

671
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 3: How do you really quick?

672
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 4: How do you What were some of the side effects

673
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 4: that porn had on you? Because I talked to some

674
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 4: guys that got addicted to it recently, young kids, and

675
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 4: they said they were like, it was just it literally

676
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 4: was a controlling their life to the place where very depressed,

677
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 4: very suicidal.

678
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 1: I was gonna say the exact the exact same thing.

679
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 3: Is that interesting?

680
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 1: It disynthasizes you to do a lot of things depending

681
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 1: on what you watch. It could lead to worse issues,

682
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: but overall, it creates the sense of well, it's a

683
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: modern word that you normally hear and in certain circles,

684
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: but it objective objectifies people, especially women, Yeah, like you

685
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: see them as a piece of meat, and I'm not

686
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: nothing more than that. So I was at high school

687
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: and I could just I just didn't relate to anybody.

688
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:10,800
Speaker 1: I couldn't see past sex sex exactly what it was

689
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: a teenager. It was a horrimal teenager.

690
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: That's a that's a that's a bad combination.

691
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I would like try to go out with girls,

692
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: dead girls or whatever. I never connected really with anybody.

693
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't, you know. And then I got I didn't

694
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: do drugs or alcohol when I was a teenager until

695
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: I got my late teen years, when I had more

696
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: friends and I had more like I started growing up

697
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: and I started going out more and socializing because I

698
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 1: remember I was a very lonely kid, very isolated. I

699
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: didn't fit in with my family. I had like video games,

700
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: video games, culture like TV, movie shows, and all my

701
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: happy childhood memories are in front of a screen, like

702
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: Star Wars. I love Star Wars and stuff like that.

703
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 1: And then I got into porn. I got like, of course,

704
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 1: porn and masturbation and all.

705
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 3: Of that, and that leads you in the more isolation.

706
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, more isolation, because now you don't even have energy

707
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:05,919
Speaker 1: to come out. You get depressed, You get suicidal thoughts

708
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: all the time. And that's that has been proven that

709
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: park consumption creates or eventually creates this sweet sidal ideation. Yeah,

710
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: like it's a very high.

711
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 4: Yes, it's true, dude. This is what's crazy. It's like

712
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 4: you know yesterday or you know the last couple of events.

713
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 4: I was talking about how when you watch Jesus is

714
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 4: the eyes of light to the body. Right now, if

715
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 4: your eyes are good, your whole body is good. Your

716
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 4: eyes are bad, your whole body's full of darkness. You

717
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 4: know when you're when you're watching this stuff and you're

718
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 4: a green. I mean it's straight up demonic, like I

719
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 4: mean Satan. This is like Satan is creating this stuff

720
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 4: because he's trying to distort.

721
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 3: Well, God created for good, yeah, for bad.

722
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 4: There is literally the doorways, the demonic doorways are open

723
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 4: through pornography and and again the mainstream statistics are saying

724
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 4: that it causes depression, suicide. So there's there's definitely a

725
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 4: lot of demonic stuff happening in this realm.

726
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: And there's an like and you can you can look

727
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: even at the the world right now in psychologist will

728
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: tell you the effects. That's what I'm saying, we're not

729
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: making this up.

730
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 3: This isn't like this is Bibles of this straight up.

731
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 1: Like this is scientifical, like that your brain is wired

732
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: to get rewards when you do good things, but when

733
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 1: you watch porn it's so stimulating, the dopenmin circles, all

734
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 1: of that, it just crashes because you you over stimulating,

735
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: then you cannot enjoy anything. Like I was out on

736
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 1: the there's I always hated those people that could just

737
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: be out in the in the in the sun, you know,

738
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: walking by, having an ice cream, being happy. And I

739
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: was like, I hate this. Yeah, I hate I hate everyone,

740
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: I hate myself. I want to die, Okay, I was Yeah.

741
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 1: And through music, runch music, rock music, it all kind

742
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: of created this loop hole of depression and dark thoughts

743
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: I was. And also I didn't have a lot of

744
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,399
Speaker 1: I didn't have much happy childhood memories that I could

745
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: bring into my present because I was always isolated or lonely.

746
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: But at this point in my late inter years, I

747
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: had friends. In high school, I could go out and

748
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: I made connections with friends that were good. Some of

749
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: them are still my friends to this very day. Perfect

750
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 1: They're not Christians. They know I'm a Christian. Yeah friends, yeah, yeah,

751
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: some of them are married with kids or whatever. And

752
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: eventually I got into to get girls, you know, like

753
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: we all do crazy stuff.

754
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got very crazy stuff.

755
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: Did you ever hear in the two thousand about the

756
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: pickup artists stuff? The guys who would just go out

757
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: to clubs in like in like groups to try and

758
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: pickup lines and stuff like that. It was a thing

759
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: in the US, and I still I guess still is.

760
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,839
Speaker 1: But but the thing is that I got into those

761
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 1: forums online and I learned, like, I learned all I

762
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: could because I knew English at this time, and I

763
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: started doing that and if and it worked. It worked,

764
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: Like that's how I got girls because I couldn't connect

765
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 1: emotionally with anybody. I had to present myself in a

766
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:02,959
Speaker 1: way that was always fake, always manipually, not manipolatic, but fake. Yeah,

767
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 1: it eventually fake. So that's how I got days and

768
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: girlfriends and stuff like that. But it was always like

769
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: a sense of I am not connecting really with anybody.

770
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: I got into music, rock music with bands. I would

771
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 1: play gigs, I would we would make music and stuff

772
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: like that, and eventually that got me into a stand

773
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: up comedy.

774
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 3: Okay.

775
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,919
Speaker 1: I also did stand up comedy, which I did love

776
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 1: a lot. The problem is that all my comedy came

777
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: from this place of gnarly darkness hate. I had a

778
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: lot of hate ye my heart. So my standard was

779
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: about it was silly stuff, but it came from a

780
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,280
Speaker 1: place of I hate everybody, you know, I hate this politician,

781
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: I hate this other politician, I hate these famous people.

782
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: I will make fun of things because of that. And

783
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: eventually I was at this point, I'm twenty something, you know,

784
00:40:53,920 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: after a long streak of failed relationships, disconnection, isolation, suicidal thought, depression.

785
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: I didn't have anxiety because I will always soothe my

786
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: anxiety with porn, consumption, with junk food. Even junk food

787
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: works for that, feeding the flesh, feeding the flesh exactly.

788
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: And I remember, like I had no relationship with God.

789
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: I believe there was a god. There has to be

790
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: a god that my mindset. There has to be a god,

791
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: but who is he? Anyways, Like I wasn't resented. I

792
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: got for what happened to my family, but I just

793
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 1: wanted to do my own thing. And I met Sebastian

794
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: actually during my teenage years. Sebastian in the pastor Peken.

795
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: He wasn't a basadback then.

796
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 3: It was he a Christian back then.

797
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I met him, he was already a Christian.

798
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 1: I've stayed at his home. We were friends, like I

799
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 1: would travel to Akiki every once in a while. I

800
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 1: will meet with him. With the guys at Calvary Chapel

801
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: in Nikiki, some of them are were still we're still friends.

802
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: But I wasn't a Christian. I wasn't saved. How how

803
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: can I and it never come to my head? How

804
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: could I live like this? I was to them, I

805
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: was living a double life. But inside I was through storms.

806
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: I got to a point back in my hometown where

807
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: I was thinking about, you know what, I want to die.

808
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: I really want to die. My whole life is a joke.

809
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: My whole life feels like a bad movie and I'm

810
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: in the middle of it and I just want to

811
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: put stop and turn off everything and bye bye bye.

812
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 4: So and there's probably people listening to this right now

813
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 4: that feel exactly the same way.

814
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people you get online and you

815
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:36,240
Speaker 1: see them. It's everywhere. It's a pandemic. And I remember

816
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: going back to my house at the time, I was

817
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: living with my mom when I was twenty four. We

818
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: reconnected eventually. Yeah, we were never at a good place,

819
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 1: but we reconnected enough. So I was living with her.

820
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: I remember like opening the door with the keys, and

821
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 1: I really really want my life to end eventually, I know,

822
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: I realized, Okay, I have to like look for something,

823
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: look for some answer. And over the course of those days,

824
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: after a long period of darkness, suicidal thoughts, depression, porn consumption,

825
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 1: and bad relationships, isolation, loneliness. That's my long, long time struggle,

826
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 1: and my long life struggle was loneliness, ever since I

827
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: was a very young kid, dealing with rejection, isolation, not

828
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: fitting in anywhere. I never I never get to fit

829
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 1: in anywhere. So I decided, I'm gonna I'm gonna look

830
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: this up. I'm gonna I know the Bible, I know

831
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: the things I have her verses, and I know there's

832
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 1: some truth to this.

833
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 3: There were the seeds that were planted at a young age.

834
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:45,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I know how men fall into sin in

835
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: the Garden of Eden and Jesus, the story of the Disciples, everything,

836
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: all the classic I knew that, but it didn't connect.

837
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 1: It didn't make sense to me. So I got online,

838
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: I put open YouTube and I put a Mexican precier

839
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 1: to that. Uh I my parents used to listen to.

840
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna name it, but it wasn't Calverd Chapel.

841
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: It was a good one.

842
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

843
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:12,280
Speaker 1: I put his uh some preaching that he was teaching

844
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: on something. I don't remember what religions or different religions,

845
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: and I was listening and I'm zoning out, like he

846
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: says something and I'm ahead of your mindy yeah, not

847
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: even there the notebook that the computers open with the

848
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,479
Speaker 1: video playing playing, and I'm like, I'm thinking there's something

849
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: that I have. I have a hard time concentrating when

850
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I was add kind of kind

851
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 1: of but I'm thinking about my past mistakes and I

852
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: remember every time, like with Sevastian and the people in

853
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: kik It, the people from the church in Arika, the

854
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: people all the people Christian people that I have had

855
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: come across at that point, they always reached out to

856
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: me to hold me out, and I realized that that

857
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 1: was God trying to connect with me, and I always

858
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 1: gave him the middle finger and walked away, like God

859
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: was trying to put me in a good place.

860
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 4: God does that people that are listening. There's people that

861
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 4: come in your life because God sending these people.

862
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: And I just walk away back to the desert. I

863
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: don't even I didn't even want the world. I didn't

864
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: want to get rich or famous. I just wanted myself.

865
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 1: And I realized that. I realized that well listening to

866
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 1: that preacher in the computer, and I was like, okay,

867
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 1: I was trying to think about my whole life. And

868
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: then I kept going back and going back and going

869
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: back in my memories, and I remember when I was

870
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: a kid, before all the porn, before all the things,

871
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,839
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I remember, like the keychain that my

872
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: sister made and how I remade it and I put

873
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: left out the verse. That's when the moment when I realized, ever,

874
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 1: even in my youngest self, in my most innocent self,

875
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,439
Speaker 1: I walked away from God.

876
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: That was it. Wow.

877
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: It wasn't the porn, it wasn't the sin, it wasn't

878
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:03,439
Speaker 1: it was it was me. I didn't like I didn't

879
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: want God despite everything he had done, I had no

880
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: decided to be with him. And I realized that, and

881
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 1: I felt like this conviction of saying like this Bible verse,

882
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: this beautiful Bible verse John three sixteen, felt like it's

883
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: condemning me because that Bible verse exists. I'm going to Hell.

884
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: I hated that verse for a minute. I hated that

885
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 1: and I and I was like, and in my head,

886
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I get it. I'm a sinner.

887
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 1: I don't wrong. It is not the consequences.

888
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 3: It's me.

889
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,280
Speaker 1: It's I'm the enemy here. And if God is fair

890
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 1: and it's just, I have to die and go to hell.

891
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: And I deception, and I was okay with it. I

892
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: realized that I was going to die someday. I was

893
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:49,240
Speaker 1: going to kill myself. Eventually.

894
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 3: I was gonna exception.

895
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: I was going to go to him.

896
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 3: Were okay, I.

897
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: Was okay because it was fair. How could it not

898
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: be fair? I seen ever since I was born.

899
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 4: Being okay, Hey, being okay, okay with going the hell.

900
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: That's my pride. Yeah, it's insane. And in my head

901
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that, and and I remember this,

902
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: I will remember all. I always remember this. In my head.

903
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: I was speaking in my head and I didn't finish

904
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 1: a sentence. I couldn't finish a sentence. My sentence was

905
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: gonna be okay, I'm gonna die and go to hell.

906
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: How could I expect God to save me? Now that's

907
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: the phrase I wanted to make it in my head. Yeah,

908
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: But in the moment, I said, how could I expect

909
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 1: God to the John three sixteen the video, the video

910
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: was playing, the pastor was talking about this subject at

911
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: this other subject. For God so loved the world that he.

912
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 4: Gave god son that who's whoever believed in them or not,

913
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 4: I have everlasting life.

914
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: Before I was as I was speaking in my head,

915
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: I just listened to that boom, the verse came through,

916
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 1: and the blindfold in my soul and my spirits always

917
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: just and I was born again that night.

918
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 3: That was it?

919
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: Like like just that verse that a minute ago was

920
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: my condemnation became my salvation. Because that Bible verse is true,

921
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 1: I can tell you now that I was born again.

922
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: Wow that night. And have you ever miss placed your

923
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: keys from your door and nobody's home and you don't

924
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,839
Speaker 1: find your keys and you're like a in a pickle, right,

925
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: and then you realize that your kids were in the

926
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 1: other pocket. That sense of oh yeah, I had that

927
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: wow on an eternal level. Look, Wow, that's amazing. I'm saved.

928
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm saved because Jesus died for me and God is

929
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: being all my life. God has been trying to reach

930
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: out to me, and all my life I've been walking

931
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: away from him, but He's always going to keep trying

932
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: to reach out for me because of how, because of

933
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,760
Speaker 1: how he loved me, because for God's love the world.

934
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: You know, for months, I can for months, every time

935
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: I would remember that verse the force, the first couple

936
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 1: of words for God, so I would weep. Man, amazing,

937
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 1: And I was born again that night. And yeah, after

938
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: after I realized that I'm saved, I'm safe, Like I

939
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 1: was joyful. I shared that with everybody, you know, with

940
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: my friends I didn't and my friends from from the

941
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: music industry, from not the industry, from the music scene.

942
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: You know, We're at a barbecue. They're drinking and I'm

943
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: not drinking. And one of them like mocking me, but

944
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: recognizing that I was changed, said like, you know what,

945
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: You're the actual proof that God exists. Man, Yeah, the

946
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 1: band upstairs exists because you're not drinking now. Yeah, Like

947
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: that was joyful to me. And I started sharing this

948
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: with friends and eventually, like a year or later, I

949
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 1: got into translating. I studying translation. I didn't finish that,

950
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: but I learned a bit. And then I moved to Kiki.

951
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 1: God called me to be Anikiki. Oh yeah, because right

952
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 1: he came back down. Yeah I can't. I already knew

953
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: sebast and I'll run into the pastor here and any

954
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: what year was that? Two thousand and fourteen and I

955
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,280
Speaker 1: moved in twenty and fifteen.

956
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 3: Got it?

957
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 1: So I got saved on May on May twenty fourteen,

958
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: perfect twenty four years old. And it's like it's like

959
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: a my whole life. I was living this dark bottle

960
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 1: of crap, you know, fighting against God. And then it's well,

961
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: like the bubble popped and I could see God trying

962
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,240
Speaker 1: to connect with me and me holding all the weapons

963
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: against him. And I goes and I was like, I

964
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: cannot fight this anymore. God loves win. I drop everything.

965
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: I surrender.

966
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 3: You know a lot of people go through life fighting. Yeah.

967
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 3: I know that I was fighting too.

968
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's and God's always there. You know what

969
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 4: I love about John three sixteen and seventeen.

970
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 3: God so loved the world that he gave.

971
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 4: It's only because some who'shoever believe it in them or

972
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 4: not perish, but have ever last seen life?

973
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 3: And then it continues in verse seventeen. God didn't send

974
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 3: his son into the world to condemn the world, but

975
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 3: to save the world. So he's not here to condemn you.

976
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 3: He's here to save you. And that's exactly what he did.

977
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 4: When you believed, Yeah, instantaneously, boom, everything changed.

978
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 3: That's what people need to understand that they're listening right now. Yeah,

979
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 3: it happens. Believe that he died.

980
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 4: On the cross and raised from the dead, and that

981
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 4: he has a plan for and he loves you and

982
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 4: he was So here's the question, though.

983
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 3: You said that all this darkness it popped.

984
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, what I know, we're running out of a time here,

985
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 4: but how did the transformation happen because you had porn?

986
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 3: Your alcohol? You said, the alcohol just stop?

987
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, the alcohol, the cigarettes, the drugs. I used to

988
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 1: do cocaine at the time.

989
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, all that just stopped.

990
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: It stopped. The only struggle I had it was with

991
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 1: lust and thoughts. So porn was like a everyone journey.

992
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 1: It was a journey. I thought that second went to

993
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: the same thing.

994
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 3: It was a journey.

995
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I to this. They even have like strategies

996
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: to come out of it, because it's a whole thing

997
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: to get out of that.

998
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 4: Okay, look, when you go out and drink, you get drunks,

999
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 4: you throw up, you feel and feel good.

1000
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 3: You do cocaine, you go.

1001
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,919
Speaker 1: Hi, you come down nicotine with cigarette sex.

1002
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 3: You know, it's different. It's God, it's a harder one.

1003
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 4: The loss is a harder one because you're a human,

1004
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 4: you're a man, you like you know. Yeah, it's it's

1005
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 4: it's a little bit more.

1006
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: It's more.

1007
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:11,839
Speaker 1: It took a long time to like get that.

1008
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 3: It takes.

1009
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: It was like I repressed it, I don't and it

1010
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 1: only came more so.

1011
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 3: People.

1012
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 4: The point is, people that are listening, listen, it's a

1013
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 4: journey to overcome.

1014
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:24,359
Speaker 3: It's a process, but you can do it.

1015
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's something that usually comes from a place of brokeness.

1016
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 1: So long story short, you have to ask God to

1017
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 1: heal you from those things that that that make that worse.

1018
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like all addictions come from

1019
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: a place of brokenness, of emotional worness. It's a soothing

1020
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: mechanism we do because we love to feel good. We

1021
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: love to feel good. But God makes will make you

1022
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,879
Speaker 1: go through difficult times. And you have to be able

1023
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,359
Speaker 1: to endure the pain. So, if you're dealing with with

1024
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 1: what you call porn masturbation, if you're watching this, you're online,

1025
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 1: you're on your cell phone, you know what you're doing.

1026
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: Be willing to deal with the pain of just sitting

1027
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 1: down with your pain and not using porn as an

1028
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: escape mechanism. That's the key issue. If you managed to

1029
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: do that, you'll feel so much pain in your inside

1030
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 1: of you that you have to come to Christ. You

1031
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: have to ask God to help you.

1032
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 4: Yep, yep, that's the question. A lot of people go,

1033
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 4: how can I quit? I said, you have to. It

1034
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 4: has to be with you and God.

1035
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,479
Speaker 3: You have to ask. That's why my testimony, I said, God,

1036
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:24,959
Speaker 3: I need you to help.

1037
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: You have to trust him. You have to trust him.

1038
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 4: Well, we are wrapping this thing up. And obviously now

1039
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 4: you're involved with the church. Your you work, your your

1040
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 4: tent makers, you work by day in a in a

1041
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 4: in a job, and then you serve at the church.

1042
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 1: I do. I do a lot of things. One year

1043
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: I did all the cleaning, and I help with the

1044
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: worship service. I help sometimes, I teach. Sometimes I will

1045
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 1: have to travel some Whenever you come here. I translate

1046
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 1: for you, and I want to translate for you every

1047
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 1: time you come to South America. Actor has to retire

1048
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 1: someday to retire.

1049
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 3: That's it. We're bringing the We're bringing the new young

1050
00:53:58,920 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 3: guns in.

1051
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm the best.

1052
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, you are, Yes, And you do have a Donald

1053
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 4: Trump impression?

1054
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 1: What is okay? This is Donald Trump? Sure in the gospel,

1055
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: we have the gospel, the best gospel, big news, enormous news,

1056
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 1: big salvation. We're talking about sinners getting like saved. And

1057
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: we're gonna bring this news, the best news of Jesus

1058
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 1: Christ to Oli, Judea, Samaria, Jerusalem and to the ends

1059
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: of the years, even into China. We mess to do that.

1060
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 5: I didn't think we could do it. Do you think

1061
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 5: do you think they're gonna get mad? I think I

1062
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 5: think it can be done. They said he didn't do it.

1063
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 5: Biden didn't do it. But we brought Calvary Chapel to

1064
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 5: South America. We got brought the Revival Nights.

1065
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: A million into trouble.

1066
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 5: Then they are going to visit the States and an

1067
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 5: office will be waiting for.

1068
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 1: Me with the cliff.

1069
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:57,439
Speaker 4: It's amazing to see like all the impressonations of him

1070
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 4: like it's great, it's it's uh hilarious. Man, that guy's

1071
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:02,919
Speaker 4: a character, that's for sure.

1072
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 3: All right. Hey, I love you man, and.

1073
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:07,919
Speaker 4: Thank you dude for being on the show, and thank

1074
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 4: you for always serving with us. And we've seen a

1075
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 4: lot of people encounter the Holy Spirit on the trip

1076
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 4: and give their life.

1077
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 3: To Jesus and just cool stuff encouraging people. So and

1078
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 3: then when we do the schools, that's a whole other.

1079
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a whole thing.

1080
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 3: All right.

1081
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:26,439
Speaker 4: You guys, go to Ryan Ree's official on YouTube, subscribe,

1082
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 4: share the videos. You know this this this show was

1083
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 4: amazing and you know how relatable it is to so many,

1084
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 4: So get it and send it to as many people possible.

1085
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Speaker 4: People need to hear this that they can be set free.

1086
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 4: Whether they grew up with the church out of the church,

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00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 4: their life has been destroyed.

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Speaker 3: God is greater than all that, and He can do

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00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 3: the work in and through you. Give your lap to

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00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 3: Christ today. Who's soever believing that him will be saved? Peace.

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Speaker 2: This has been the Ryan Reshow. To connect and find

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00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 2: out more about Ryan, click on Ryan dash Reese dot com.

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00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 2: Check us out Next Saturday at nine pm for the

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00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 2: Ryan Rees Show,