1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Access more. Welcome to the Happy Home I'm Arlene Pellicane. 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: You're busy, I'm busy. Is there a way out of 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: this consonant rat race. Sure you've heard advice on burnout 4 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: and busyness, but not like how author Tara Sun explains it. 5 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: She's here to help us move out of being overbooked 6 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: and overwhelmed, strengthening you and your family. 7 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Happy Home Podcast with your host Arlene Pelicane. 8 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: All last month our episodes were about how do we 9 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: kick out the harmful tech out of our homes, out 10 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: of our kids' lives. If you miss an episode, you 11 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 1: need to go back check it out. And remember my 12 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: book Screen Kids, co authored with doctor Gary Chapman, is 13 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: always available for you to read, to listen to if 14 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: you're an audiobook kind of person, and if you like 15 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: to watch things, I have a video course as well 16 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: that you can can go through and that's at Happy 17 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: Home University dot com. When we have too much tech, 18 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: we can quickly become overbooked and overwhelmed, which is the 19 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: title of Tara's son's new book. Tara our guest Today, 20 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: is the host of the popular podcast Truth Talks with 21 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: Tara where she's interviewed leaders like Sadie Robertson huff and 22 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 1: Levi Leusco. She has over a million downloads, and in 23 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: a moment, you'll see why she is wonderful, warm, gospel centered, 24 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: a mom with young kids who reminds me of myself 25 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: fifteen years ago when I was writing books with my littles. 26 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: We are talking about Tara's new book, Overbooked and Overwhelmed, 27 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: How to keep up with God when you're just trying 28 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: to keep up with life. Tara, I'm so happy to 29 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: have you on the podcast. So take us back a 30 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: few years. You know, it's midnight, you are crying, You're 31 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: doing the dishes. We have kind of all been there 32 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: at one time or the other. So what was happening 33 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: in your life? 34 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 35 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: Well, you know, at first glance, it looks like I 36 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: was just crying over the kitchen sink, which honestly, sometimes 37 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 2: it's piled up, and that's overwhelming in itself, right. 38 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,559 Speaker 3: But one thing about. 39 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 2: Me is that I am not like a night owl 40 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: like I'm usually I try to be in bed by ten, 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 2: sometimes ten thirty, you know, try to get all the 42 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 2: things done after the kids go to bed, have all 43 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 2: the time for yourself and then go to bed, and 44 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 2: it's really important for me to get my sleep. So 45 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 2: it was super way. Yeah, so it was super abnormal 46 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 2: for me to be up this late, like washing dishes. 47 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 2: My husband comes in, you know, it's like eleven thirty 48 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 2: midnight and he's like, what are you doing? It is midnight? 49 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 2: Go to bed and I said I can't. He's like why, 50 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 2: And what came out of my mouth next was so telling. 51 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: I said, if I do, everything is going to fall apart. 52 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 2: And Arlene, in that moment, I'm like, wait, there is something. 53 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 2: It's not just the dishes. It's like my soul that 54 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 2: really is starting to believe that everything depends on me. 55 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: And it was really really telling. So this was just 56 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 2: a yellow warning sign flashing from God saying you need 57 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 2: to check what's going on in your spirit here and reevaluate. 58 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: So again, it was so much deeper, but I think 59 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 2: a lot of us can understand that overwhelm that piles up, 60 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 2: and we just blurt out something that we realized, Wow, 61 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: like it's not just about the external, It's really about 62 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 2: what's going on in my heart. 63 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: So this is so important because we get these little 64 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: yellow warning lights. But many times we push ignore, right, 65 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: we just ignore them? What made this different? Like, how 66 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: did you not ignore this sign? And what should someone 67 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: do next? Right if they're like, oh, yeah, I've been there. 68 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 3: Yeah. 69 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: So it was one of those points where I had 70 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: been hustling and over committing and really putting the weight 71 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: of the world and my family and ministry on my 72 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 2: shoulders for so long that I was really forced to stop. 73 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 2: Like I had been living at such an unsustainable pace 74 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 2: for so long that I had a breaking point moment. 75 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: And I think a lot of us can relate to that, 76 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 2: where we run for so long we get used to 77 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 2: the pace. But then the Lord, in his kindness, I 78 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 2: really believe, sometimes lets us come to the end of 79 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 2: ourselves to be like, I can't do this anymore. I 80 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 2: realized I was not being an excellent you know what 81 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 2: scripture tells us to be a woman of excellence. I 82 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 2: was not being an excellent wife. I was not being 83 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 2: an excellent mom. I was not being an excellent just 84 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 2: person all over, someone that was really doing things in 85 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 2: a praise worthy manner. Because I was so strung out, 86 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 2: I was anxious, I was stressed, I say chronically impatient 87 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 2: with my kids. With just a chronic it's a difference 88 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: between just having one bad day but then having a 89 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: really bad season. And so coming out of that was 90 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 2: really just rebuilding this foundation and realizing, Okay, I need 91 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: to come back to devotion to Jesus Christ first, because 92 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 2: out of that overflow it gets me out of that 93 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 2: overwhelmed but out of that overflow it helps me to 94 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 2: be a better wife and a bet beter mom, and 95 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 2: a better person in general. So it was really peeling 96 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: back the layers. And I talk about this in my 97 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 2: book that you have to start at the base. You 98 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 2: have to start at what you're craving, right, So, especially 99 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 2: as parents, I think we crave a lot of rest. 100 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 2: As busy people in general, we crave rest in the world, 101 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 2: we crave satisfaction, we crave success. And so coming back 102 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,039 Speaker 2: to like what am I really craving and then what 103 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 2: am I actually giving my time to? So what am 104 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: I distracted by? What is consuming my affections? And that 105 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 2: usually points us to the things that need to change 106 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: or the things that we need to put boundaries on. 107 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 2: So that was really my first step. 108 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 1: And it really is just quiet, like being quiet before 109 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: God and thinking like, we don't do that anymore. We're 110 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: just rushing from one thing to the other. You wrote 111 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,840 Speaker 1: in your book this line that I love so much. 112 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: How was I supposed to live engaged with the fullness 113 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: of my life and in my relationship with Jesus when 114 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: I could barely think straight? 115 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? 116 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: So we it sounds like, you know, we have to 117 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: give ourselves time, so help us this question. Like one 118 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: of the things I love about your book, you have 119 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: these reflection questions afterwards. So one of the questions, what 120 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: things distract you the most from giving your time and 121 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: attention to Jesus? Yeah, So, podcast listener's that's an action 122 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 1: step after this, maybe you want to hit pause right 123 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 1: now and ask yourself, you know, hey, what's distracting me 124 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: right now from giving my time and attention to Jesus? Right? 125 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: Kind of tell us about your journey with that. 126 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:26,559 Speaker 3: Yeah. 127 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: Oh, and then can I just be super honest when 128 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 2: we're talking about this distraction part is I think so 129 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 2: many of us think distractions as like bad things, right, 130 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 2: so just inherently bad things. 131 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 3: But what I've learned and when. 132 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 2: I unpack in one of these chapters too, is that 133 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 2: sometimes distractions can also be the good things, like we 134 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: learn in a story of Mary and Martha, even Martha's 135 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 2: good intentions of setting the table and making sure the 136 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 2: food was right and making sure the atmosphere was perfect 137 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 2: for Jesus in her home, even those good things or 138 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 2: distractions from being like Jesus is literally in your home 139 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 2: right now. And so for me, those distractions were a 140 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 2: lot of social media, a lot of achievement, right so, 141 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 2: whether it was in work or just achieving something at home, 142 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 2: I thought, Okay, I can't take five minutes because look 143 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 2: at the sink. 144 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 3: It's overflowing. 145 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 2: What I had to realize, just like Martha had to realize, 146 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 2: just like Jesus told her, Okay, you're worried and anxious 147 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 2: and stressed about so many things, but right now, in 148 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 2: this moment, only one thing is necessary. The external is 149 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 2: going to fade away. It's important, but it's going to 150 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 2: fade away. What right now in this moment is worth 151 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 2: It is eternal. And so that's the question I talked 152 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 2: to myself a lot about, is identifying those distractions and 153 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 2: being like, Okay, not everything is the most urgent. We're 154 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: reminded in that biblical story too, is that these things 155 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 2: will get done. The Lord will give us the capacity 156 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 2: and the strength. But in this moment, right now, what 157 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 2: do I need and what is going to actually help me? 158 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 2: It's a huge premise of the book. What is actually 159 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 2: going to help me? Steward everything else better? When I 160 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 2: am not filling my soul, when I am just distracting 161 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 2: myself into oblivion, I'm not going to be able to 162 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 2: be a good disciple of Jesus, a good example to 163 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 2: my kids, a loving present, you know, not nagging wife. 164 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 2: It all really compounds. 165 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: You have this question and it goes with what you're saying, 166 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: will this matter for eternity? Talk about you got this 167 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: John Piper book like it was it a graduation give 168 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: it was? 169 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, so twenty seventeen. As we're recording this, I'm twenty six. Yeah, 170 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 2: twenty seventeen, I graduated. 171 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 3: And you know, you get all the cards in the cash. 172 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 2: You're usually super excited about the cash because you're like, yay, 173 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 2: I can buy food or you know, things from my 174 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 2: hert Yeah seriously, And so I got all this cash 175 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 2: and I got this book, and I'm like, eh, I 176 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: don't need this. The titles don't waste your life. It's 177 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 2: actually one of my favorite books now and a really 178 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 2: influential book in my life. But I thought, like that 179 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 2: seems silly, like, of course, I'm not going to waste 180 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 2: my life. But one day I remember it was on 181 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,839 Speaker 2: the shelf for months, and then I remember picking it 182 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 2: up and reading it, and just a huge part of 183 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 2: the book was about so much of our life we 184 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: waste it by going after the external success and just 185 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 2: really putting our worth and our identity in that piece. 186 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 2: And it's just really challenged me when I think about 187 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 2: anything in my life now. Right, so maybe there's something 188 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 2: like the laundry is sitting on my couch and it's unfolded, 189 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 2: but like my kid is begging for me to be present. 190 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 2: My kid is begging for me to read him a 191 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 2: Bible story, And I think, will this matter for eternity? 192 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 3: The laundry can sit. 193 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: I've had to release and surrender a lot of things, 194 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 2: But what in this moment is going to matter the most, right? 195 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: And what can I let go and exchange for what 196 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 2: God has? And I still have to ask myself that 197 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 2: question all the time. 198 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: It's such a good question because if you're thinking, like 199 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: should we do this new activity, you know, should I 200 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: go to that retreat that's going to help my marriage. 201 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: Should we attend church every Sunday? You know, you're kind 202 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: of asking this question will this matter for eternity? And 203 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: that's a really good question. Now we can get overboard, 204 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: right because it's like, oh, the laundry does eventually have 205 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: to get done, so it's really a priority, you know, 206 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: just like where your heart is, where you're spending your time. 207 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Well, so I talk about that in 208 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: the book too. 209 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,839 Speaker 2: The overbooked and overwhelmed is not there's nuance to this 210 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 2: because we can't check out of life, right. Actually, God 211 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 2: wants us to be fully engaged in life and live 212 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: a full color dimensional life where we yeah, we do 213 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 2: have to do the laundry, we have to cook dinner, 214 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 2: we have to go to work, we have to you know, 215 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 2: change the dirty diapers. 216 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 3: Whatever this looks like. 217 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,319 Speaker 2: You know, we should serve in church, you know, whatever 218 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 2: your own schedule and calendar looks like. But it really 219 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 2: is just knowing, like in order to do all of 220 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 2: these things, I have to prioritize the best thing ye 221 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 2: to do those other things. 222 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: Well. 223 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 2: I even said this on another podcast the other day, Arlene, 224 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 2: that just kind of hit me, like in the middle 225 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 2: of the conversation that when I am not filled up 226 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 2: in prioritizing Jesus, i am not a good witness of 227 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 2: Jesus to the world around me, like when I'm working, 228 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 2: when I'm serving at church, to my kids. And that 229 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 2: was really convicting for me, because we think we're doing 230 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,679 Speaker 2: things in the name of Jesus, but we are strung 231 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 2: out and anxious and snippy and like chronically though, like 232 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 2: all the time. 233 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: Yes, so we make it not look good, Like why 234 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: would I want to grow up to serve Jesus when 235 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: that looks like that? 236 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know this is not a shame thing. 237 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 2: This is because we've been there, and there's grace, there's 238 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 2: new morning mercies every single day. But I think it's 239 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 2: also a good reminder to be like, Okay, if I 240 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 2: want to truly be a witness to Jesus or for 241 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 2: Jesus and to the world and to the little people 242 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 2: in my home and my marriages, whatever this looks like, 243 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 2: I need to remember that I'm a reflection. And so 244 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 2: Lord helped me to reflect you well and not show 245 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 2: the world that following Jesus looks like this frantic, strung 246 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 2: out hustle, culture obsessed person, right, and. 247 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: That is the power of the yes and no that 248 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: you write about. Just help us fall in love with 249 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 1: the word no again. 250 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, it's Christians think it's a cuss word, right. 251 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 2: I used to think it's this Christian cusword, like you 252 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 2: can never say no because again, we have really good intentions, right, 253 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 2: like we want to the kingdom, We want to love people, 254 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 2: we want to be involved, like we don't want to 255 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 2: miss out. That's like so within our DNA, our God 256 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 2: given DNA. But there's a chapter called the Power of 257 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 2: your Yes and No because we're overwhelmed and over books 258 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 2: because we don't know how to say no. And we 259 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: talk about in this chapter about Nehemiah, one of my 260 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 2: favorite Old Testament books and prophets, where he knew exactly 261 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 2: who he was in Jesus or in his faith, and 262 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 2: he also knew what he was called to. So he 263 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 2: was called to rebuild this temple. And so when he 264 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 2: knew his mission, there were people that were saying, hey, 265 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 2: come down from the wall, stop working, I need to 266 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 2: talk to you. People that were trying to get him 267 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 2: to you know, sway off course, and he said, I 268 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 2: can't come down to you because I have important work 269 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 2: to do. So he gave that no, and maybe that 270 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 2: was hard for him. But when you give a no, 271 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 2: you also give a yes. There's a trade off. I 272 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 2: think a lot of us miss that, Like if you 273 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,719 Speaker 2: say no to not taking that trip and being home 274 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 2: with your kids, your yes is getting to be home 275 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 2: with your kids. Your yes is getting to be present, 276 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 2: getting to be available to the opportunities and the surprise 277 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 2: is that. 278 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 3: God may have. 279 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 2: Alternatively, when you say yes to something, you also say no. 280 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 2: And I remember in a season of launching books and 281 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 2: being a new mom and postpartum, I was saying so 282 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 2: many yeses that there were things in my home life 283 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 2: that were suffering, and so just realizing that our limitations, 284 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 2: meaning we cannot do everything capacity wise, they actually can 285 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 2: be liberating. They actually can open us up to being like, wait, Lord, 286 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,559 Speaker 2: I can actually feel you in this moment, I can 287 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 2: hear you, I can be present, because when we're just 288 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 2: constantly running on a yes man mentality, there's not a 289 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 2: lot of room left for Jesus and hearing Oh, he 290 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 2: might have something else for me that I'm not willing 291 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 2: to participate in. 292 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: I just am too busy to hear yea. You know 293 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 1: what people are listening to you. They're like, oh, she's 294 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: so happy and excited and full of life and enthusiastic, 295 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,319 Speaker 1: and they would be right. But you went through postpartum 296 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 1: depression and you just mentioned it. Talk to that woman 297 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: who is either currently there or has been there and 298 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 1: is just kind of confused about what this is all about. 299 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh gosh, well I can also speak to it currently. 300 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 2: So I have a three and a half year old 301 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 2: boy and a six month old boy, and with my first, 302 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 2: just around six months is when everything kind of ramped 303 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 2: up for me, the anxiety, the depression, postpartum, losing my hair, 304 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 2: all the things, And so it's happening again just kind 305 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 2: of like clockwork with my second, and so I'm kind 306 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 2: of in the trenches right now. 307 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 3: If I'm gonna be honest as well with this, what I. 308 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 2: Would say to that woman though, is just I mean, 309 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 2: we talk about this in the book too, but the 310 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 2: community aspect, knowing that you are genuinely not alone. There 311 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 2: is so much that the enemy will tell you in 312 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 2: your mind, which is why we have to again put 313 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 2: Jesus first, because the enemy would love to distract us 314 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 2: and confuse us. When we put Jesus first, though, it 315 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: actually helps us clear the chaos, clear the noise, so 316 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: we can know what's true. But one of those things 317 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 2: that we forget that's true is that there are people 318 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 2: that love us, not just the Lord, but there are 319 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 2: spouses and friends and family members and even people in 320 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 2: your local church that you may not know but love you. 321 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 2: Bec is your bar to the Body of Christ that 322 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 2: want to help you. And I learned the second time 323 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 2: around about even just communicating and even like I know, 324 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 2: as moms, especially postpartum, your mind is not it doesn't 325 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 2: feel safe, it doesn't feel like clean, it feels cluttered sometimes. 326 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 2: And so just knowing that even if it doesn't make sense, 327 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 2: how much of a gift it is to be able 328 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: just to lay it all out on the line and 329 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 2: have someone that can help you clear the overwhelm and 330 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 2: can make sense of what you're going through, and even 331 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 2: if they don't have the answers, can point you back 332 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,760 Speaker 2: to Jesus Christ as truth. And so I just want 333 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 2: to say that I know what you're going through. I'm 334 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,440 Speaker 2: in it with you right now. But what you can 335 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 2: hold you is the promises of Scripture and know that 336 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 2: those don't change dependent on your circumstances. 337 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 3: Read the psalms. David had depression so. 338 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 2: Bad in so many different seasons of his life, But 339 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: I love looking at certain psalms. Is the last thing 340 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 2: I'll say on this Arleene is that he will say 341 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 2: in one breath that he is depressed, he wants to 342 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 2: not live anymore. But then at the end of that psalm, 343 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: some of them, he'll turn around and say, but or 344 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 2: yet I will put my hope in Jesus. Yet I 345 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 2: will rejoice, Yet I trust in him. So even though 346 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 2: the overwhelm was real, he still turned and said, but 347 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 2: I know who has me, and that's. 348 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 3: What I've been trying to do all these butts. And yes, 349 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 3: it's to be to remind my soul. You know. 350 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, as you said that, I just pictured this word. 351 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: Yet y e t just three little letters, you know, 352 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: above your sink that you say, yeah, like it's gonna 353 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: come Like yeah, I'm the sun is gonna get you know, 354 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: that's done. So to try right. The sun is gonna 355 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: come out tomorrow. I'm not gonna break out of a 356 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: song or anything. That's true though, so the morning will come. 357 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: Talk to how can you if you're married and your 358 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: husband wants to help you, but he doesn't know how, 359 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: you know, he doesn't know what to do, and then 360 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: you're frustrated and he's frustrated. It was just like one 361 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: step that you took towards your husband that was helpful 362 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: to you, either the last time around or here that 363 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: would be good advice to how to communicate with your spouse. Well, 364 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: I'm still. 365 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 3: Learning, Arlene. I think you can tell me this. 366 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 2: One thing that we've been trying in our marriage is 367 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 2: just for me to say, okay, like it's a little 368 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 2: frustrating right now, because I Step number one is I 369 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,119 Speaker 2: want you to empathize a little bit, even if you 370 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 2: don't know how to just be like, hey, that sucks, yeah, 371 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: that must be or yeah. And I think sometimes most 372 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 2: of the time I'm hearing this as a general consensus 373 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 2: that husbands that they just want to fix it right away, 374 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: which I love that about them, and I think that 375 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 2: we need that. I know we need that. But what 376 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,880 Speaker 2: sometimes that they need to hear is just be like, Okay, first, 377 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 2: can you just say that this sucks and you're sorry, 378 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 2: and even if you don't understand, like I'm here for 379 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 2: you and then let's turn to the fixing. Let's turn 380 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 2: to what we can do about this. So maybe even 381 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: just in the kindest, most gentle way that you can manage, 382 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 2: just saying, you know, honey, I'm grateful that you want 383 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 2: to fix this, and let's do that together. But first, like, 384 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 2: can you just acknowledge that this sucks, right, Because just 385 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 2: as people, we want to be known, we want to 386 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 2: be seen, and we want to be heard, and so 387 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 2: I think that all kind of wraps into that. Even 388 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 2: one singular sentence of your husband say I'm really sorry. 389 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you feel that way. I don't know 390 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 2: what that feels like, but can you tell me a 391 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,239 Speaker 2: little bit more, like what is that actually? What does 392 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 2: your brain feel like right now? Does your body feel like? 393 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 2: What are your emotions telling you? And then you can 394 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 2: turn and try to make something happen from it, And. 395 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: Then that's so helpful to your husband because then he's like, Okay, good, 396 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 1: I can do that, Like. 397 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: I can say that right well, because I think they 398 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,400 Speaker 2: don't like and same for me though, but especially within 399 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: the depths of postpartum, or especially even if you're not postpartum, 400 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,360 Speaker 2: but like if you're just having a crazy, over stimulated day. 401 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 2: Sometimes they just need to be like they need to 402 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,199 Speaker 2: know what to do because they genuinely don't. And so 403 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 2: again that why is old saying they cannot read your mind. 404 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 3: So like just just yes, and you know. 405 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 1: Your spouse will look at you like I should just 406 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: leave her alone, and then you think, well, see you 407 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: just leave me alone. But so we just need it. 408 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 1: It's all that community. Yeah. Yeah, we have been talking 409 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,960 Speaker 1: about distractions, and I really like in your book how 410 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: you point out that when the insiders It and that 411 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 1: Flicks we're doing their internal research that they found that 412 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 1: seventy three percent of their users had binge watched a show, 413 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: so they had watched five or more hours in one sitting. 414 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: So you know, here you are your Netflix and you're like, 415 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: this is awesome. I've got all these users, like three 416 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: fourth of them will sit there for five hours. But 417 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: for us as humans, it's like, wait, this is not good. 418 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: This is not if we are overbooked because we're sitting 419 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 1: and obviously this is not And believe me, we can 420 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: do a whole podcasts about this. This is not you 421 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 1: the listener, It's not your fault per se, because this 422 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: is all pervasive design of how can we cook this person? 423 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: So we are at the mercy of the best brain 424 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 1: scientists and psychologists and all that. So let's just put 425 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: that out there. But when you realize, wait, I am 426 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: being manipulated to be so distracted. How has it helped 427 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: you when you've put some limits on your social media? Yeah? 428 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 429 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 2: I loved finding that research because on one hand, we're like, okay, 430 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 2: just you know, like we can't focus on anything, you know, 431 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 2: why try to even reclaim our attention? But then Netflix 432 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 2: is literally like, but like what matters to people like 433 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: watching that show? 434 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: They stay locked in? 435 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 2: Right, So there is this like huge wake up call 436 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 2: to be like we can focus on on what we 437 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 2: want to though, right, So it's like retraining what is 438 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 2: worthy to have our attention and especially for that long 439 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 2: right again, like have your movie marathons, right, Like that's fine, 440 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 2: but like just realizing that there is so much that 441 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 2: we willingly allow into our lives to take over. We're like, 442 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,159 Speaker 2: why am I so overwhelmed and overstimulated and exhausted and 443 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: numbed to Jesus, Well, maybe it's because we won't stop 444 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 2: chronically scrolling. Maybe it's because we are allowing social media 445 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 2: to have a bigger grip, and also scientifically where it's 446 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 2: told that we are actually like our brains are actually 447 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 2: being changed by our screens. Okay, so like literally everything 448 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 2: in our brain is being changed by it. And so 449 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 2: for me, it's realizing number one, that like, I don't 450 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,119 Speaker 2: need to consume everything from everyone, but when I do, 451 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 2: I think I had to realize like when I do that, 452 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 2: it really spirals me into comparison, It spirals me into complacency, 453 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 2: because although there's an element of inspiration, there also can 454 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 2: be like this paralyzation where you're like, yeah, there's so 455 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 2: much to do, there's so many hacks to try, that 456 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 2: the world is falling apart. 457 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,920 Speaker 3: And then you just get kind of paralyzed. 458 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 2: And so for me, one really big step has been 459 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 2: so I have little kids, but like after their big 460 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 2: nap of the day, I will put my phone on 461 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: a charger in my bedroom, so like putting it in 462 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 2: a different rooms, even if that's for five or ten minutes, 463 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 2: to build up having that distance is so so important. 464 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 2: It's really hard at first, but now I literally lose 465 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: my phone all the time, Arlene and I kind of 466 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 2: love it. 467 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know where my phone is, Like it's. 468 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 1: I feel really good. 469 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 2: I feel really good, and like having that separation I 470 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 2: think is really important too, because we can say I'm 471 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 2: gonna put my phone up on the count, but if 472 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 2: you're in the same room, you'll go to it like 473 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 2: you and like your body will. And there's a part 474 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 2: of me that doesn't blame you because again we've been 475 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 2: trained that way. So that's like one really big step 476 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 2: in doing that. Also leveraging your weekends, you know, having 477 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 2: the time where it's like these are kind of sometimes 478 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 2: our natural sabbath rhythms. How can we also remember that 479 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 2: sabbath includes maybe just taking some time off social media 480 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 2: as well, trying it out, seeing what works for you. Again, 481 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,400 Speaker 2: everyone's schedules a little different, but I found that really 482 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 2: life giving. 483 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,719 Speaker 1: Yes, because no matter how much you stay on it, 484 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 1: you're still behind, and then you're so tired and so behind. 485 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: So why not be so behind and well rested and 486 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: with priorities and with time. You know, none of us 487 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: are going to be at our deathbeds and say, oh, 488 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 1: if I was only on Instagram more, Oh if I'd 489 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: only posted more reels or whatever, the thing will none 490 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: of us will say that, we will say, wow, I 491 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: really wish I had better relationships. I wish I had 492 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: someone with me that, you know, because we were with 493 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,439 Speaker 1: our technology instead. So it is a good wake up 494 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 1: call for all of us when we discover, hey, my 495 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,159 Speaker 1: priorities have been off. I've been kind of lazy. I've 496 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: been kind of selfish because it's just so much easier 497 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,679 Speaker 1: to be distracted than to really face the things I 498 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,239 Speaker 1: need to do in my life. Help us with that 499 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: next step. What do we do once we've realized, hey, 500 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 1: I need to get my priorities back in order. Yeah. 501 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 2: I think the first thing is a heart change, and 502 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 2: there's so much shame and guilt associated with that when 503 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I haven't been reading my Bible, I 504 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 2: haven't been putting God first. I have been keeping up 505 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 2: with the world and not with Jesus. And so the 506 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 2: first thing is eliminating that shame and remembering that God 507 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 2: loves the prodigal son too, And that's what we are 508 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 2: when we come back to Jesus with our pig slop 509 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,120 Speaker 2: and our rags and no money right because we squandered 510 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 2: it all, just like him coming back and realizing that 511 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,479 Speaker 2: the Lord rejoices and celebrates over that, and it's like 512 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 2: no time has passed. He's readys our weaknesses, but he 513 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,160 Speaker 2: invites us back in coming to you. 514 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: Yes, right right. 515 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,719 Speaker 3: He doesn't wait for us to one all the way. 516 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 3: He takes a million steps towards us too. 517 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: And so I think that's the first thing that you 518 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 2: need to remember, is to shake that shame off, that 519 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 2: guilt off, because that's not welcome with Jesus. There's no 520 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 2: condemnation in Jesus Christ. We're told that in scripture. And 521 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 2: then the second thing I would tell you is to 522 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 2: not feel like you need to overhaul everything in one day, 523 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 2: maybe even one week or one month. There's a chapter 524 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 2: at the end of the book that talks about these 525 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 2: small steps of faithfulness. How really like you're already overwhelmed 526 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 2: and you're like, this feels like a lot of work 527 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,479 Speaker 2: to rebuild with Jesus, Well, then start small. Do that 528 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:34,160 Speaker 2: daily faithful work of maybe getting up five or ten 529 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 2: minutes earlier than you normally do, meditating on one verse. 530 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 2: Don't feel like you need to read an entire chapter, 531 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 2: Meditate on what God has for you in that one moment. 532 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,359 Speaker 2: Doing these small things every day builds really strong foundations. 533 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 3: I do a lot of like agricultural references. 534 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 2: You'll hear about my upbringing and working on a farm 535 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 2: and what I learned about the Lord through that. But 536 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 2: how those steady roots that you really desire, they take time. 537 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 2: They're also unseen, right, Like we live a world where 538 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 2: it's like you see everyone's life on social media or 539 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 2: you see their big moments. But the work that Jesus 540 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 2: does is that small work of faithfulness that those roots 541 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 2: do grow down and out and provide a solid foundation. 542 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 2: And so I think just knowing that, like those small 543 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: steps are really important. One last thing practically, I'll say too, 544 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 2: is coming down from the fifty thousand foot level, right 545 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 2: and making it more of like a ten thousand foot level, 546 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 2: maybe even a thousand foot level where you go from Okay, 547 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,440 Speaker 2: I want to reprioritize with Jesus. That's the high level, 548 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 2: but then coming down to a little bit closer level 549 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 2: and say, okay, practically, what does this look like? And 550 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 2: in the book I share a lot at the end 551 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 2: of each chapter about practicals, but what does it look 552 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,640 Speaker 2: like for you actually to reprioritize Jesus. Does that mean 553 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,960 Speaker 2: that you scroll less. Does that mean that you start 554 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 2: a new devotional Does that mean that you prey in 555 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 2: the car on your commute or to pick up your 556 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 2: kids instead of listening to music, Like, practically what will 557 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 2: get you to that high level of putting Jesus first? 558 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 3: Again? 559 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 2: That really helps me write it down a notebook, get 560 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 2: real about ask a spouse to help you. 561 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 3: I think that's super key. 562 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: It's so good. And all throughout this has all been 563 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: about how do I get more of Jesus? How can 564 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 1: I get more of him? That that is the pursuit 565 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,160 Speaker 1: of life. And you so beautifully help all of us 566 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: to want to pursue Jesus more and to just realize 567 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 1: what those priorities are. My youngest is fifteen. Her name 568 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: is Lucy, and just the other day she yells out, 569 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 1: like sunset, pretty sunset, you know, and we kind of 570 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: stop what we're doing and then we'll go to the 571 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 1: backyard and we'll watch that, we'll look at the sunset. 572 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 1: And this is like the distractions that you're talking about, 573 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: those positive things in life that you don't want to 574 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,400 Speaker 1: be so overwhelmed and so overbooked that you miss Tara, 575 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 1: tell us more about how we find out about you 576 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: and about your wonderful book. 577 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,719 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much. I'm so grateful for this conversation. 578 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,719 Speaker 2: It's marked me, it's encouraged me. So thank you for 579 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 2: having me, for being here. Oh of course, if you 580 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 2: guys were encouraged by this episode, if you want more, 581 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 2: because there's so much more, you can grab Overbooked and 582 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 2: Overwhelmed anywhere books are sold. You can search it on Amazon. 583 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 2: Barn's a noble Christian book that's also in Walmart, which 584 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 2: is super fun. I also recorded the audiobook myself, and 585 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 2: that was so fun. So for the moms and dads 586 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 2: and people that are on the go but they want 587 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 2: to hear some encouragement in their earbuds or over their 588 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 2: gar speakers, I got you. 589 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. And then yes, you can follow me on Instagram 590 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 3: at Miss Tara's sun. I'm over there every day. And 591 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 3: then I also have a podcast called truth Talks with Tara. 592 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 1: So yeah, it's been such a joy to have you. 593 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,120 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Tara. 594 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 3: Thank you, Arlene. 595 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: It has been so fun having Tara on the podcast. 596 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 1: So check out her podcast, Truth Talks with Tara, and 597 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: also grab her book Overbooked and Overwhelmed. How to Keep 598 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 1: up with God when you're just trying to keep up 599 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: with life. And if you know someone who is just 600 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 1: feeling like they're running around all the time, please forward 601 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 1: this podcast to them. Remember you don't have to come 602 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: from a happy home to create one. You two can 603 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 1: have a happy home.