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Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of

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Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and

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Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.

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Speaker 2: As I get older, the more I admire happy people because, folks,

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Speaker 2: let me tell you something. Life is hard for everybody, everybody.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't know that now you've been very fortunate.

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Speaker 2: I promise you will. This is not even a bad promise.

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Speaker 2: This is not something you should be even be pessimistic

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Speaker 2: or sad about. Life is hard, So what it's hard

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Speaker 2: to play piano. Everything worthwhile is hard, but it is

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Speaker 2: worth it. Life is worth it, and you are going

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Speaker 2: to have to figure out a way to stay happy

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Speaker 2: within the issue of what happens. But let me tell

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Speaker 2: you another rule that I learned in life. I have

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Speaker 2: found overwhelmingly, there are a tiny handful of exceptions. Of course, overwhelmingly,

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Speaker 2: the happy are happy under every circumstance, and the unhappy

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Speaker 2: are unhappy under every circumstance. The unhappy think that they

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Speaker 2: are unhappy because of their circumstances. Wrong. They are unhappy

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Speaker 2: because they are unhappy, and they think that the happy

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Speaker 2: have it easy. This is the general view of the

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Speaker 2: unhappy of the happy. Oh, are you lucky to be happy? No?

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Speaker 2: I have worked hard to be happy. That's why the

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Speaker 2: title of my book is happiness is a serious problem,

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Speaker 2: because it is just as violin playing is a serious problem.

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Speaker 2: Everything that you attain that is difficult is a serious problem.

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Speaker 2: That's the way nothing worthwhile comes easily, including happiness, as

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Speaker 2: Abraham Lincoln, who had to battle a nation at war

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Speaker 2: and a depressed wife. As Abraham Lincoln said, we are

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Speaker 2: as happy as we decide to be. You just remember

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Speaker 2: that that this is great stuff, happiness. I wish I

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Speaker 2: had been told this when I was your age. But

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Speaker 2: you know, there's a level of luck in life, and

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Speaker 2: you're lucky to be hearing this. The earlier you know

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Speaker 2: this stuff, the better it will be for you. You are

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Speaker 2: not unhappy because of circumstances. You're unhappy because you have

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Speaker 2: allowed yourself to be unhappy. And I don't have much

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Speaker 2: patience for it, and neither should anybody else in your life.

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Speaker 2: And if you want a happier life, and you want

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Speaker 2: to be a better friend and a better spouse, and

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Speaker 2: a better parent and a better worker, cheer up. One

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Speaker 2: political scientist did a fascinating study of American presidential elections

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Speaker 2: said that he found that throughout his study, the happier

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Speaker 2: candidate always won, didn't matter Republican or Democrat, the happier

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Speaker 2: candidate one. People don't want to be led by an

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Speaker 2: e rose president. They want to be led by someone

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Speaker 2: who has a cheerful disposition. The most obvious of those

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Speaker 2: in the last thirty years or so Ronald Reagan. He

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Speaker 2: had the cheeriest disposition of American presidents and the one

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Speaker 2: with the least cheery disposition was Jimmy Carter, the man

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Speaker 2: he defeated, and it was a landslide. The happiest against

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Speaker 2: the unhappiness. There was no chance. There are people who

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Speaker 2: associate unhappy with deep. I associate unhappy with selfish. There

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Speaker 2: it takes no depth to be unhappy. It's very simple.

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Speaker 2: Some of you were blessed, you were born with a

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Speaker 2: happy disposition. You're very lucky. Some of you were blessed

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Speaker 2: with being able to play piano with almost no lessons.

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Speaker 2: That's true, but most people need lessons in happiness, and

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Speaker 2: most people need lessons in piano. Finally, I'll just give

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Speaker 2: you two two three ideas. Because I want to open

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Speaker 2: up for questions on anything you'd like to pose to me,

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Speaker 2: I will open up. I will. I will offer you

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Speaker 2: three suggestions with regard to attaining happiness. The first is

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Speaker 2: to know that you have to you have to be it.

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Speaker 2: That's the biggest Immediately that you don't let your feelings

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Speaker 2: determine whether you're happy. You can you can say, look,

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Speaker 2: I have you know I have unhappy feelings. I don't

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Speaker 2: want you to deny your feelings. Feelings are beautiful. That's

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Speaker 2: what makes you not a computer. You have feelings. You

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Speaker 2: should be totally aware of your feelings. Half the time

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Speaker 2: when I am I, I I act happy and you

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Speaker 2: know my uh, I've had unhappiness in my life like

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Speaker 2: any of you or any of you will. That's the

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Speaker 2: way it is. But I didn't act differently when I

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Speaker 2: was with people, yet I would open up to them.

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Speaker 2: You know I have pain now because of x or Y.

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Speaker 2: Had my fiftieth birthday party. My son, who was a

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Speaker 2: teenager at the time, got up to say some words.

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Speaker 2: He didn't have to. I didn't force him to say anything.

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Speaker 2: And you know, teenagers don't like to praise their parents

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Speaker 2: as a general rule, and he was no different. But

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Speaker 2: he got up and he said something very interesting. He

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Speaker 2: said one thing, I just want to thank my father

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Speaker 2: for being a happy parents. It's the best thing he

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Speaker 2: could If he would have said loving, it would have

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Speaker 2: been nice, anything he could have said. But he said

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Speaker 2: the thing I was most happy. And I had no

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Speaker 2: idea what he would say, none, zero, But he was

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Speaker 2: so particularly appreciative of the fact that he knew on

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Speaker 2: any given day coming back home that his dad is

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Speaker 2: going to be in a happy disposition. If you have

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Speaker 2: a parent that you don't know what their disposition will

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Speaker 2: be and you have to walk on eggshells every single day,

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Speaker 2: you know what a big deal that is. A predictable parent.

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Speaker 2: Predictability in mood is a great virtue that you know, basically,

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Speaker 2: my girlfriend and I and I mean here a girl

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Speaker 2: girl vis a v girl where you know her friend

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Speaker 2: is going to be in a good in a good mood.

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Speaker 2: When when you have to worry every time you call

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Speaker 2: or talk to a friend or a parent or a

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Speaker 2: spouse or a kid, or what mood are they going

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Speaker 2: to be in? That's awful, that's a curse. It's good

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Speaker 2: to be predictably in a good mood, even if you

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Speaker 2: are not feeling super happy at that time. Nobody feels

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Speaker 2: super happy all the time, except perhaps the severely mentally handicapped,

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Speaker 2: who may just have a permanent smile on their face.

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Speaker 2: Nobody has only happy feelings, but you can have happy actions.

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Speaker 2: So the first one was the moral obligation number two,

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Speaker 2: mind versus brain number three. You cannot be happy if

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Speaker 2: you are not grateful. It is not possible. The magic,

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Speaker 2: the magic key to happiness is gratitude, and if you

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Speaker 2: walk around feeling ungrateful, it is impossible to be happy. Impossible.

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Speaker 2: There are many things to be grateful about. Obviously. Health

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Speaker 2: is an obvious example. Friends is an obvious example. I

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Speaker 2: walk around virtually every day grateful that I was born

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Speaker 2: in this country, unbelievably lucky. The vast majority of mankind

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Speaker 2: did not get the opportunities I got because they didn't

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Speaker 2: happen to be born in this country. It's pure luck.

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Speaker 2: That's my feelings towards this country, with all its flaws.

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Speaker 2: I walk around with any permanent gratitude for it. I

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Speaker 2: have gratitude for one hundred things. Gratitude is the key

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Speaker 2: to happiness, also the key to goodness gives you an

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Speaker 2: idea of how important gratitude is. Four, You need meaning.

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Speaker 2: Secular society has many virtues, but its biggest non virtue,

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Speaker 2: its biggest challenge is that it provides no meaning. That's

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Speaker 2: where religion has been particularly good. Gives people a sense

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Speaker 2: of meaning. Meaning is a bigger According to Victor Frankel,

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Speaker 2: one of the great psychoanalysts, meaning is a greater source

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Speaker 2: of happiness is At't forget. It is a greater need

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Speaker 2: than sex. And there's a proof. There are people who

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Speaker 2: are happy who have little or no sex. But there

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Speaker 2: is no one who has been happy without meaning, no

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Speaker 2: one so as important as sex is, and especially the

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Speaker 2: sex drenched society in which you have been raised, Just

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Speaker 2: know that in terms of happiness, you will get infinitely

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Speaker 2: more from meaning than you will from sex. And I

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Speaker 2: am pro sex in case there is debate on that

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Speaker 2: particular issue. And number five. Never ever, ever confuse fun

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Speaker 2: with happiness. It's an unbelievably easy thing to do, especially

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Speaker 2: when you're young as you are, to confuse fun with happiness,

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Speaker 2: they are only tangentially related. There are people who have

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Speaker 2: a great deal of fun and they are miserable. There

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Speaker 2: are people who don't have much fun and they are

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Speaker 2: incredibly happy. Fun is a party, okay. The vast majority

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Speaker 2: of people who leave a party are not one with

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Speaker 2: happier than they were before they went to the party.

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Speaker 2: Fun is fun, obviously, and fun is terrific, but never

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Speaker 2: confuse it with bringing you happiness. So here is a

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Speaker 2: little rule of thumb that I advise you to try

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Speaker 2: to apply for the next week, and if you can

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Speaker 2: do it, do it the next week. T if you

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Speaker 2: can do two weeks, do with the rest of your life.

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Speaker 2: Before you do anything, ask the question, not will this

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Speaker 2: be fun? Ask will this increase my happiness? Example? Is

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Speaker 2: it fun to watch TV? Yes? Does it increase happiness?

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Speaker 2: Every single study ever done about television watching said that

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Speaker 2: after about one hour it decreases happiness. One hour is

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Speaker 2: about neutral. After an hour it decreases happiness in most people.

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Speaker 2: Let's say, for example, right now, I were to say

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Speaker 2: to you, the next year, watch no TV and during

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Speaker 2: that time learn Portuguese? Is it fun studying Portuguese or

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Speaker 2: any foreign language? For most mortals, it is not fun.

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Speaker 2: Here's the question. A year from now, when you can

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Speaker 2: get along and read Portuguese, will you be happier than

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Speaker 2: you were now instead of versus a year of watching

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Speaker 2: TV during the time you would have studied Portuguese or

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Speaker 2: piano or whatever else. See the question of what is

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Speaker 2: fun and what brings happiness give you totally different answers.

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Speaker 2: Totally different answers. You can even apply that when you

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Speaker 2: think of hooking up if the lingo is correct with somebody,

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Speaker 2: Will this be fun? Probably will It's very brain centered act.

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Speaker 2: Will it bring you happiness? Probably won't. And that's worth

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Speaker 2: asking forgetting all the values questions of life, forgetting any

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Speaker 2: religious questions, just on the happiness question. I'll tell you

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Speaker 2: something that I learned from callers. I'm doing radio for

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Speaker 2: twenty five years. I've talked to people every day for

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Speaker 2: twenty five years, from every background, every ethnic, racial, religious background,

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Speaker 2: from every walk of life, from the white House to unemployed,

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Speaker 2: willless people I've had. I've talked to everybody. One of

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Speaker 2: the interesting things that I have found out from people is,

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Speaker 2: by and large, and this is not an advertisement on

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Speaker 2: any religious ground or whatever. I'm only talking happiness here.

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Speaker 2: By and large, those who deferred sexual activity till later

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Speaker 2: enjoyed sex longer in life than those who started it earlier,

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Speaker 2: especially visa v. Women. To be perfectly honest, I have

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Speaker 2: to give you. I have to tell you the truth

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Speaker 2: before I give you any propaganda women. Women who deferred

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Speaker 2: sexual activity enjoyed sexual activity late in later life more

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Speaker 2: than those who had been promiscuous early in life. There

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Speaker 2: are reasons for that, but it goes beyond the specific talk.

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Speaker 2: All I'm saying is my point is not to tell

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Speaker 2: you what to do sexually. My point is to have

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Speaker 2: you ask the questions, the question will X make me happy? Not?

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Speaker 2: Is it fun? That question has nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: whether you will be happy. The things that have brought

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Speaker 2: me the most happiness in my life have generally not

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Speaker 2: been fun. I've gotten great happiness from all of well,

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Speaker 2: from writing my books. Writing books is not fun. It stinks.

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Speaker 2: You stare at a computer screen and you have to

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Speaker 2: make something that others want to read. Is rather difficult.

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Speaker 2: And I write for a living and it's still difficult.

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Speaker 2: But it has brought me some happiness. Children are not

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Speaker 2: generally fun. However, they can be a source of unhappiness.

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Speaker 2: There are many things like that fun and happiness. Now,

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Speaker 2: I believe you should have as much fun as possible

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Speaker 2: doing the things that will make you happy. So I

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Speaker 2: have tried to make child rearing a lot of fun

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Speaker 2: and so on, and that I agree with. But if

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Speaker 2: you pursue fun, you have no chance for happiness. You

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Speaker 2: should make what makes you happy be more fun. So

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Speaker 2: those are some of the thoughts. Hope, I hope that

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Speaker 2: you can hear this again and again and again, because

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Speaker 2: they're mostly probably new thoughts. And I promise you, I

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Speaker 2: promise you. I have no zero agenda here other than

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Speaker 2: to bring you happiness. I'm not even paid for the lecture.

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Speaker 2: I am here just purely to bring you a good

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Speaker 2: idea about happiness. If you take these ideas seriously, you

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Speaker 2: will change your life. You will bring better people into

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Speaker 2: your life. You will affect others positively. They will love

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Speaker 2: you for it. It's a wonderful thing. But you have

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Speaker 2: to make the decision that Abraham Lincoln said. We are

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Speaker 2: as happy as we decide to be. Thank you very much,

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Speaker 2: thank you. Okay, that was wonderful. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

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Speaker 2: All right, it's time. Now you can ask me about

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Speaker 2: anything in life. As you can see, by the way,

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Speaker 2: was this recorded. It was video as well, just good audio. Good.

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Speaker 2: I like one too. I liked it. Okay, fine, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna listen to a couple of times. Yes, could you

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Speaker 2: could stand and speak loud?

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Speaker 1: How was you?

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Speaker 2: Okay'd like to know what some of my arguments against

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Speaker 2: atheism worse's I had mentioned that in passing. I told

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Speaker 2: you could ask any thing you'd like, certainly obviously regarding

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Speaker 2: happiness as well. First there, if you go to my

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Speaker 2: website Dennis Prager dot com or Prager Radio dot com,

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Speaker 2: you will find you can download a lot of these talks.

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Speaker 2: And I have a lot of talks against atheism, and

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Speaker 2: I'll give you the one that I find most persuasive

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Speaker 2: for me. For me, Dennis, is that nothing has ever

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Speaker 2: come from nothing. There is no such thing as nothing

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Speaker 2: comes from nothing. Atheists believe that that, in other words,

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Speaker 2: that something always comes from something. Nothing comes from nothing,

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Speaker 2: so you never have a something that comes from nothing.

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Speaker 2: Atheism posits that the universe came from nothing. It makes

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Speaker 2: no sense to me, literally no sense. And I'm not

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Speaker 2: here to push any given religion. You'll you'll do what

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Speaker 2: you'll do. Religiously. I happen to be a religious Jew.

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Speaker 2: But you'll be what you'll be. But I will just

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Speaker 2: tell you that there is the idea that I just

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Speaker 2: give you the example I always give. If somebody found

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Speaker 2: a computer on Neptune, I think they would assume that

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Speaker 2: a computer maker had been to Neptune, since we humans

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Speaker 2: are infinitely more complex than a computer. The notion that

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Speaker 2: it came about on its own, utterly, unguided by sheer chance,

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Speaker 2: strikes me as bizarre on an intellectual level, just a

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Speaker 2: purely intellectual level. Everything came about on its own. There

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Speaker 2: was a big bang out of nowhere. It makes literally

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Speaker 2: it is to me nonsensical. So that's the single most

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Speaker 2: effective argument that I can give you for there being

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Speaker 2: a creator, designer of the universe. There are many many

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Speaker 2: other issues, But if somebody wants to have a second

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Speaker 2: question on it, I'll give you a second answer on it. Yes, sir,

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Speaker 2: but shortly and her decide. Do you believe there are

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Speaker 2: different levels of morality? For example, do you believe that

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Speaker 2: actively killing someone is more wrong than knowing that someone

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Speaker 2: will die and you can prevent.

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Speaker 1: It but you can don't.

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Speaker 2: Well, there are two separate questions. One is, do I

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Speaker 2: believe that there are levels of morality? Of course I do.

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Speaker 2: Saving the life of somebody being pursued by a murderer

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Speaker 2: is a greater good than preventing a ballpoint pen from

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Speaker 2: being taken from the office, or if you will, murder

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Speaker 2: is far more serious than jaywalking or, for that matter,

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Speaker 2: stealing a stapler from the office. There are gradations of evil,

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Speaker 2: there are gradations of goods. It's common sense. I've had

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Speaker 2: religious people argue with me that all sin is the same,

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Speaker 2: and that's when I want to write my book. God

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Speaker 2: has common sense. I hate when God is portrayed as

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Speaker 2: not having common sense. Of course, God looks at me

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Speaker 2: murder differently than than you know, than taking a stapler

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Speaker 2: from the office. They're both wrong, but of course they're different.

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Speaker 2: So yes, there are gradations of good and gradations of bad.

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Speaker 2: And it's that's why I am so strong on the

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Speaker 2: evil of murder, because that's the worst of all the

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Speaker 2: gradations that there is. Okay, back there, either the female

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Speaker 2: or the male. You have to slug it out, okay.

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Speaker 2: And I was just wondering, what made you decide that

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Speaker 2: you want to write a book on happy very good question.

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Speaker 2: What what? Well, it's it's actually I have a long answer,

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Speaker 2: and I try to make it as brief as possible.

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Speaker 2: It's the last thing I ever expected I would write

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Speaker 2: a book on the last I would sooner thought I

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Speaker 2: would have written a book on medieval philosophy than on happiness.

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Speaker 2: I had. In fact, I even had a disdainful view

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Speaker 2: of people who wrote books on happiness, because I was

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Speaker 2: sure that they only made the authors happy as they

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Speaker 2: collected their checks, and it didn't really have any effect

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Speaker 2: on anybody else. So I'll be very brief here. It's

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Speaker 2: a fun story. Actually, I was invited by a rabbi

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Speaker 2: at UCLA to give a lecture to Jewish students at UCLA.

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Speaker 2: This was, I'll tell you exactly twenty years ago. He said, Dennis,

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Speaker 2: you know they hear you on the radio. We'll get

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Speaker 2: some students here like you to come and speak to

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Speaker 2: some of the Jewish students here. And I said that, Rabbi,

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Speaker 2: I'd be very happy too. What would you like me

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Speaker 2: to speak on? So he said, I said, would you

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Speaker 2: like I assume you want me to speak on something religious?

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Speaker 2: He said, oh, no, nobody will show up, which was

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Speaker 2: in and of itself, A said statement, But so be it,

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Speaker 2: I said. So. He said, I would like you to

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Speaker 2: speak on something light. So I said, like what, and

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Speaker 2: he said, well, like happiness. And I said, so help

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Speaker 2: me God, I sent them Rabbi, happiness is not a

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Speaker 2: light subject. In fact, happiness is a serious problem, to

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Speaker 2: which he said the fateful words in my life. He said,

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Speaker 2: excellent title. That's how my book and every speech I

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Speaker 2: gave on happiness had that title by my objecting to

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Speaker 2: his claim that happiness was a light subject by saying

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Speaker 2: happiness is a serious problem. When I gave the lecture

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Speaker 2: that had not spoken on this before, I made a

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Speaker 2: lot of notes, And the reason I thought I could

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Speaker 2: even give a lecture was that I had worked out

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Speaker 2: for me a lot of thoughts on how to be happy,

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Speaker 2: because I had my own struggles just as everybody else does.

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Speaker 2: So I figured maybe some of my ideas would help

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Speaker 2: some of the listeners. I gave the talk, and the

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Speaker 2: first time and only time in my life, I went

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Speaker 2: home and listened to my own lecture. After I gave it,

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Speaker 2: I recorded it. Thank God, had I not recorded it,

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Speaker 2: none of this would have happened. I recorded it, and

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Speaker 2: people subscribe to my lectures. They get a lecture from

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Speaker 2: me every month, every two month months. First it was tapes.

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Speaker 2: Now it's on CD. Now it's on download from the internet.

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Speaker 2: And I listened to it, and I remember as I listened, thinking,

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Speaker 2: that's a good idea. Gee, that's a good idea. That's

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Speaker 2: a great point. I wasn't listening to me. I was

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Speaker 2: listening to this guy named Dennis Prager giving a talk

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Speaker 2: on happiness, and I figured, wow, if I like it,

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Speaker 2: because I'm very critical of my own talks, it must

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Speaker 2: be a good talk. So I sent it out to

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Speaker 2: subscribers to my talks. Certain that was the last time

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Speaker 2: I'll ever speak on happiness. About six months later, I

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Speaker 2: got a call from the articles editor of a women's

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Speaker 2: magazine called Red Book. Any have you ever hear a

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Speaker 2: Red Book? Okay, fine, So Red Book is a popular

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Speaker 2: women's Magazine's got millions of readers. I never opened it

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Speaker 2: in my life, Somewhat like women's shoes, my eyes glaze over.

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Speaker 2: And when I see, you know, the women's magazines at

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Speaker 2: the airport rack. But red Book I had heard of anyway,

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Speaker 2: she said Dennis Prager. I said, yes, Hi, I am so,

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Speaker 2: and so the literary editor or articles editor at the

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Speaker 2: Red Book. I'd like you to write an article for

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Speaker 2: Red Book on happiness. And I was totally puzzled, and

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Speaker 2: I said why, which is not a good way to

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Speaker 2: sell yourself. By the way, just you should know in

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Speaker 2: future business deals, if somebody wants to hire you, you

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Speaker 2: don't say why me, you say something more positive. But

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Speaker 2: I was very honest and I said why. She said, well,

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Speaker 2: I heard your lecture on happiness and I loved it.

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Speaker 2: I said, really, you subscribe to my tapes, I said,

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Speaker 2: She said, I didn't even know you have a subscription service.

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Speaker 2: I heard it on New York radio. Well, as it happened,

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Speaker 2: some station in New York, totally against all FCC rules,

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Speaker 2: with no permission from me, let alone no payment, broadcast

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Speaker 2: my entire talk on happiness on their station. These crooks

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Speaker 2: changed my life. I bless these crooks at that station.

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Speaker 2: They were the God send to me, as you will

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Speaker 2: see in a moment. So she said, I sat in

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Speaker 2: my car in front of my building in Manhattan till

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Speaker 2: I heard who was this person speaking? And then I

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Speaker 2: traced you down in Los Angeles and she said, so

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Speaker 2: is will you do it? I said, sure, said is

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Speaker 2: three thousand dollars? Okay. At that moment, what went through

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Speaker 2: my mind was I knew it. The only people who

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Speaker 2: get happy from writing happiness books are the authors. Three

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars for an article. Do you know what I

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Speaker 2: got for writing for commentary? Seven copies of commentary that

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Speaker 2: was my payment. And now I'm offered three thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: for an article on happiness. So I wrote it, they

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Speaker 2: published it. Then readers Die just called me. I said,

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Speaker 2: can we excerpt, condense your article and and put it

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Speaker 2: in all of our international editions. I said, yeah, of course.

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Speaker 2: Then I get a publisher calling, we want you to

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Speaker 2: write a book on happiness. I said, I don't have

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Speaker 2: a book in me. I have one lecture and one article.

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Speaker 2: I do not have a book. Thank you. But I

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Speaker 2: kept getting calls about the article and the lecture, and

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to condense this story. It's just life changing

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Speaker 2: for me. How I'm here to speak to you on happiness.

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Speaker 2: And finally I said, all right, look, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: give a course on happiness in LA to adults, and

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give eight sessions of an hour and

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Speaker 2: a half. If I can talk for twelve hours on

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Speaker 2: happiness without bull, and I never bull because I speak

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Speaker 2: very condensedly, concisely like I write. Then maybe I have

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Speaker 2: a book. I gave the course, and I said to myself, well,

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Speaker 2: really I did have twelve hours of things on happiness

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Speaker 2: to say, but I want to test one more time.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give a sixteen course twenty four hours

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Speaker 2: on happiness. I gave that course. Then I said, okay,

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Speaker 2: I have a book in me and anyway, then I

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Speaker 2: got a book contract and the book became a number

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Speaker 2: one best seller. Happiness is a serious problem, and I've

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Speaker 2: ended up speaking on happiness on all the continents, including Antarctica.

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Speaker 2: Just tell you about the Antarctica for a moment. It's

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Speaker 2: a cute story. It's on my website. You can see

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Speaker 2: a picture of me giving a lecture in Antarctica. But

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Speaker 2: I've faced a certain problem. I have lectured on all

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Speaker 2: the continents and really wanted to say I lectured on Antarctica. Now,

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Speaker 2: as it happens, I lectured on a ship off Antarctica,

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Speaker 2: and that is Antarctica waters, So you can say I

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Speaker 2: lectured in Antarctica. But I like to lecture on land too,

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Speaker 2: to say I lectured there. But there's a problem about

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Speaker 2: lecturing in Antarctica. Nobody lives there. But I solved this

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Speaker 2: problem because when I say I've lectured on seven continents,

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Speaker 2: I don't say to people. So there is a picture

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Speaker 2: of me on my website lecturing to about one hundred

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Speaker 2: and twelve penguins. Yeah, it's a very humbling picture. Because

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Speaker 2: I've studied this picture. It's a very cute one. One

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Speaker 2: out of the one hundred and twelve is looking at me.

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Speaker 2: Most of the others have their faces in another penguins behind.

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Speaker 2: They're big on that for whatever reason, and that's fine

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Speaker 2: with me. I have a penguin. If he wants to

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Speaker 2: keep his nose in a behind, it's fine. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: I didn't have much attention. But that's how I say

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Speaker 2: seven continents. That's how it all started.

428
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

429
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

430
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, I'm out from.

431
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 3: Amat, California, and I wanted to ask, what or who

432
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: is your inspiration?

433
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 2: What or who is my inspiration? That's a very good question. Well,

434
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: I am inspired by all. This is not going to

435
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 2: be a great answer for you. Oh maybe it will be.

436
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: It depends on what you do with it, I guess.

437
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 2: But I'm inspired by a lot of people every day,

438
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: well not every day, but often whenever I meet. I'll

439
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: give you an example. A woman named Christine from Phoenix

440
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: called up my show and it was the I devote

441
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: one hour of my national show each week to happiness,

442
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 2: the Friday hour. It's broadcast here. My show is by

443
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 2: the Way nine to noon, eight seventy KRLA. You can

444
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: also go to Prager Radio and podcast it without commercials.

445
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 2: Every Friday, I have an hour on happiness. A woman

446
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 2: called up to prove the point that one strives to

447
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: be happy no matter what one circumstances. This woman had

448
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: four children, lost one of them as an adult child

449
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,959
Speaker 2: was already an adult, to cancer, and one in a

450
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: car crash. You are not parents, I assume you cannot know,

451
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: and thank god I have not known, and I pray

452
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: I never know the pain of the loss of a child.

453
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: But I know, as a parent that is the darkest

454
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 2: place my mind can ever travel, the thought of one

455
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 2: of my children dying. And here is a woman who

456
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: lost two of her children, and one to cancer and

457
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: one in a car crash and had a cheerful, beautiful,

458
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: non self pitying, non victim demeanor. And I was so

459
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 2: moved by her. And now two years later I just

460
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: went to Phoenix to give a talk. She came to

461
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: the talk and introduced herself, and I told her, you

462
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 2: have been an inspiration to me. We think about inspire

463
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: hiring people, we go back in history, and that's fine,

464
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: that's perfectly the way it should be. But there are

465
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: inspiring people that you will meet anywhere, at any given time,

466
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: and you should allow them to inspire you. This woman

467
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:39,479
Speaker 2: deeply affected me. Look look, boy, by golly, look at

468
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,719
Speaker 2: what she decided to do. She was not going to

469
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: allow the death of two of her four children to

470
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 2: end her ability to have some love of life. And

471
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 2: then I think of the problems that others have that

472
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 2: make them morose, and I go, do you have any

473
00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: idea what a struggle is? Speak to Christinea Phoenix. Okay, yes,

474
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: my name's.

475
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 3: Kevin em from Hunting to Beach, California.

476
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: HI.

477
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 3: In the beginning, you stated that you are you are

478
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 3: morally obligated to be happy, and that unhappy people to

479
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 3: join groups such as terrorists rights groups. Well, why do

480
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 3: you say a person who joins the communist group because because.

481
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 2: They're unhappy with the government and in the pursuit of happiness,

482
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 2: this is what they want to do. Right, Well, did

483
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: you hear the question, what do I say to a

484
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 2: person who was talking about unhappy people joining movements? Well,

485
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: what about a person who is unhappy about the government

486
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 2: joins the Communist party in order to make a happy place.

487
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 2: That's exactly what they do. The unhappy have a utopian vision. Oh,

488
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 2: I am unhappy because my government is corrupt or whatever.

489
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: So if I just have a revolution and imagine utopia,

490
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: I'll be happy. That's exactly you describe brilliantly. In fact,

491
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: what people join the Communist Party to do. The unhappy

492
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 2: join a group and assume they will change society and

493
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: then they'll be happy. But you're not unhappy because of society.

494
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: You're unhappy because of you. That's what they didn't understand,

495
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 2: and they inflicted their utopian visions on the rest of us.

496
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 2: They end up making unbelievable unhappiness when you ascribe your

497
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: unhappiness to society. Now, sometimes it is true. Obviously a

498
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: Jew in Nazi Germany or a Ukrainian under Stalin, where

499
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 2: he starved seven million Ukrainians to death, had a reason

500
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: to say, I'm unhappy because of society. But most of

501
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: us are not Jews in Nazi Germany or a Ukrainian

502
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 2: under Stalin. We have the normal issues of life, and

503
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 2: for us, any utopian scheme just makes things worse. But

504
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 2: you're right, that's what the unhappy did think. Make a

505
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 2: communist world, then I'll be happy. Yes.

506
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Rachel from Orange and my mom loves you.

507
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: Oh. She told me.

508
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 3: That this is the speaker I should be most excited about.

509
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 3: And she told you to say that she wanted you

510
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: to come to dinner at her house, but you probably

511
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 3: too busy.

512
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: Anyways, that's very sweet. Tell you tell your mom. I'd

513
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 2: love to.

514
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh awesome, Okay.

515
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: I won't be able, but i'd love to.

516
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 3: Now, I know what's your definition of happiness? Like if

517
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 3: you define it in a few words?

518
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 2: Yes, what is my definition of happiness? And I in

519
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 2: my book happiness is a serious problem, and I don't

520
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 2: care if you borrow it. I don't care if you

521
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: buy a used copy. I don't rely from my income

522
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 2: on that book, but please do read it, especially having

523
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: heard me on this. In the very beginning of the book,

524
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 2: I say I do not define happiness. I provide the

525
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 2: dictionary definition, and it's useless. Happiness is essentially something where

526
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: you know it when you perceive it, and you know

527
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: when you're not. Whatever you define it as is fine

528
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 2: with me. I'm going to tell you how to achieve

529
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 2: happiness wherein you are you are happy to greet the

530
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 2: day where you have an open and warm outlook on

531
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 2: humanity or on the people of your life. It doesn't mean,

532
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: by the way, living naive. I don't have a very

533
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,519
Speaker 2: positive view of humanity, and I'm very happy. I think

534
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 2: humans are great and humanity stinks. You should all, if

535
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 2: you really want to have fun, go to Prager Radio,

536
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 2: go to me. Read my columns from the last few years,

537
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 2: and I even have one of my columns is people

538
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: are beautiful, humanity stinks, and that is the record of humanity.

539
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 2: It has not been a good record. It's been a

540
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 2: lot of evil. But I am happy, and now one

541
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,479
Speaker 2: of the things that keeps me happy I will acknowledge

542
00:34:53,920 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 2: friends are a spectacular factor. Spectacular factor. I am blessed,

543
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: always have been with very close friends. By the way,

544
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: on friendship. I have a word to tell you when

545
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: you are when you were looking for somebody to marry,

546
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: And this may hurt some of you, and I don't

547
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: mean to hurt you. I mean to help you, but

548
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 2: I want to just tell you it is not a

549
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 2: good sign. If the person that you are considering marrying

550
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 2: does not have any close friends of the same sex,

551
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 2: it is not as the same sex as that person.

552
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 2: If you're dating a female and she has no close

553
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 2: female friends, that's a bad sign. If you're dating a

554
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 2: male and he has no close male friends, it's a

555
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 2: bad sign. Not always as bad because guys are more

556
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 2: of the loner type in that sense, But I personally

557
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: have always had close male friends and that it has

558
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: been a major factor in my happiness. But the biggest

559
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 2: one is I believe a good God governs the universe

560
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 2: and that keeps me sane through all this horrible stuff.

561
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

562
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

563
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 2: Yes, please the lady in the red, I am.

564
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 4: Florence, Victorville, California.

565
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 2: M HM.

566
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 3: I was wondering in your lifetime, is there any goal

567
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,399
Speaker 3: that you would like to achieve that you haven't achieved yet.

568
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: Are there any goals that I'd like to achieve that

569
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 2: I haven't achieved yet? Yes, constant, are you kidding? I

570
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 2: would like to be on three times as many stations.

571
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 2: I would like to be on in the radio of

572
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: every country, with simultaneous translation into the local language. It's endless.

573
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: I this is why I need to tell you. There

574
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 2: is in my book a chapter on expectations. I have

575
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: huge goals, almost none of which have been fulfilled. But

576
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 2: I have no expectations, and therefore have lived well beyond

577
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: anything that I could expect, and I walk around grateful.

578
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 2: Goals and expectations are very different. I believe that the

579
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 2: fewer expectations you have, the happier you will be, because

580
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 2: you will be more grateful. I don't even expect to

581
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 2: be healthy tomorrow. I have a goal to be healthy tomorrow.

582
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 2: I hope to be. I have even reason to believe

583
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 2: I will be, but I don't expect it. There is

584
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: some man my age, somewhere in America right now, just

585
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 2: as healthy as I am today, who will have a

586
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,839
Speaker 2: heart attack tonight. I am well aware of that fact.

587
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: So every morning I get up and I think, oh God,

588
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:58,240
Speaker 2: I'm still well awesome. People when they get hurt ask

589
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 2: why me, But when things are going well, they never

590
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: ask why me? That's wrong. I ask why me every

591
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:14,879
Speaker 2: day that things are good? How did I luck out?

592
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 2: But only people never do that when things are going well.

593
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 2: Only when things go bad they go, gee, why me?

594
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 2: Did you ask that when things were going well? Nope,

595
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 2: because you expected things to go well as if you

596
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: deserved it. Next, let me go back there unless they

597
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 2: think I'm in the middle, even though I didn't even

598
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: go here once. Oh my god, the gentleman over there, Yes, sir, Yes,

599
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 2: I'm there from orange gutty. If you think or you

600
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 2: believe that something can't come from nothing, and how you're

601
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 2: explaining having a higher power radiation? Right? If I believe

602
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: that that something has to come from something, nothing can

603
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: come from nothing. How do I believe in the higher power?

604
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 2: Where did the higher power come from? Okay? The definition

605
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: of God, by with all religions that believe in God,

606
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: is that God is eternal. But we know the universe

607
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 2: is not eternal. We know it had a beginning. But

608
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 2: the definition if God is not eternal, then God is

609
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 2: not God. A born God is what Pagans believed in

610
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 2: mantheistic revolution, is a god that was never born. Okay,

611
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 2: stay there, lady, Yes, yep, yep, yep. Where are you from.

612
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 4: Oh I'm from Riverside, California. Okay, obviously, sorry, but I was.

613
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: But you're obviously from Riverside. No I think, oh, oh,

614
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 2: I see you. Oh the California was obvious. That's fairy.

615
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 4: It's all right, okay, But I was just wanting to

616
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 4: ask you because you're talking about how some people were

617
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 4: like born or may we like reready given again i'd

618
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 4: be happy?

619
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 3: And I was wondering the issue.

620
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 4: Had you learn to be happy yourself or just or

621
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 4: like one day as you decided.

622
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be happy?

623
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: Yes, right, I did one day decide to be happy.

624
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 2: I remember the day I was fifteen. I grew up

625
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: in New York. I was seated on the New York

626
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 2: subway and I was in a lousy mood. And I

627
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 2: remember saying to myself, you know, if I don't do

628
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 2: anything about this, I'll be in a lousy mood forever.

629
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 2: And I didn't like the idea. Frankly, it struck me

630
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 2: as a pretty crappy way to live, and so I

631
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 2: I just decided that, hey, you know, I got it.

632
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 2: This is not gonna happen. This is the easy way out.

633
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: It's easy to be unhappy. And that, by the way,

634
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: if it was all natural to me, I couldn't have

635
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 2: written a book. All I would have written is be

636
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 2: like me or get born with the right genes. But

637
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: because I worked it out so systematically, I could write

638
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 2: a book. Yes, yes, please, yep, just yell.

639
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 3: Oh my name is.

640
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 4: What the happiest moment in your life is?

641
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 2: Oh? You mean that I can relate to you? All right?

642
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 2: Just let you know. I'm real, folks, I'm real like

643
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 2: you are. But the uh no, the happiest moment. Wow,

644
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 2: I'm not evading your question by saying to you, there

645
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 2: probably isn't one happiest. But let me try to think

646
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 2: of I've never been. Isn't that odd? I thought I've

647
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 2: been asked every question, and that one I don't recall

648
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: being asked. Let me think, can you answer it? What's

649
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 2: the happiest moment you ever had? I'm not I'll go

650
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: back to me. What's the happen I don't know if

651
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 2: that's it. It's a tough question.

652
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 3: Like this yeah, I've an ast and I haven't charge

653
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 3: of planning croft.

654
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 4: So when Ashley got day, I can turn out really

655
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 4: day and interesting.

656
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 2: Okay, well that's interesting. So your happiest moment, all right,

657
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 2: so you feel the happiest moment of your life was

658
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 2: when you had achieved something after hard work. That was

659
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 2: what I was telling you. The happiest moments never come

660
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 2: from fun. They come from and now might have been

661
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: fun planning, but it was hard work. Let me think,

662
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: let's see happy. Well, I mean I've had the truth

663
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 2: is I've had so many. I am so blessed. I

664
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: mean my you know from I'll tell you, I'll give

665
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 2: you a macro and a micro my macro. Happiest moment

666
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 2: was twenty five years ago next month when I was

667
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 2: thirty two years old. Thirty two years old and I

668
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 2: was invited to radio station in La. It's not the

669
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 2: one I'm with now, but it was ABC Radio in

670
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 2: La to try out for it to be a talk

671
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 2: show host. They had me given one night on the

672
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 2: station as a tryout. The show was from ten to

673
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 2: midnight on Sunday night, a very popular show. At eleven o'clock.

674
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 2: The station manager or the program director Wally Sherwin slipped

675
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 2: me a note on which it said, tell them you'll

676
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 2: be back next week. I was ecstatic. I knew my

677
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: life had changed. My dream of talking to people in

678
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: large numbers was starting to be possibly realized. That was

679
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 2: a huge moment. Micro I've had so many. I mean,

680
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 2: the birth of my children obviously would be would be

681
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 2: an example I have. But I will tell you I

682
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 2: have happy, really happy moments just about every week because

683
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 2: I'm very close with people who are in my life,

684
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: and I'm very and I have had unhappy moments too,

685
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, please so, but the one that

686
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: stands out in the macro is that it's interesting. Well,

687
00:43:54,920 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 2: I'll well, I'll I have one one of my children

688
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: is biological, and one of my children is adopted at

689
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 2: the birth. And but oddly enough, the birth didn't bring

690
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 2: the same degree of joy that meeting the born child

691
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 2: I was about to adopt it. I mean, I love

692
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 2: them obviously, my my birth child, he's I love him

693
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 2: beyond words, and he knows that where we've always been

694
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: unbelievably close. But I think I was so nervous over

695
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: the birth, and it was the first child, so I

696
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 2: was very, very very nervous. That that overwhelmed just the happiness,

697
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 2: whereas with the child fully formed, like waiting for dad

698
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 2: to show up at the hospital, that was just that

699
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: filled me with unbelievable happiness. It's a great it's a

700
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 2: great way to live. I don't know. Uh tell you

701
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: the lady over there with the tag, that's a joke.

702
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 2: Everybody has a tag. Yes, I know, yes, as a

703
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 2: happy person. Are you ever fearful of anything? Oh?

704
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 4: I'm Niela Hercy from Long Beach, California, Right, Am.

705
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 2: I ever fearful of anything as a happy person? Yes? Absolutely,

706
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 2: I of course. I you mean on a personal level

707
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 2: or or anything. Well, first of all, I tell you

708
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 2: the truth. I fear from my country. I do. This

709
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 2: bothers me a lot. I think that there was a

710
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:40,359
Speaker 2: real loss as to what has made America exceptional. In fact,

711
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 2: the very idea of America being exceptional is loathe at

712
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 2: the average university, is loathed by the elite of our

713
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 2: own society. And so I'm worried about because good countries

714
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 2: are rare, crappy countries are common, and there are huge

715
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 2: powers trying to bring America down to the level of

716
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,720
Speaker 2: other places. So I'm worried that that is a fear.

717
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 2: And on a personal level, listen, I know of mortality,

718
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 2: and I fear death. Not for me. I don't fear

719
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 2: what will happen, but I fear its effect on my

720
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 2: loved ones. So that always is. Anyone who reaches my age,

721
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: any parent thinks that, even the younger than me, you

722
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 2: worry because you know how fragile life is, and so

723
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 2: you do worry. So those are being totally open, as

724
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: you can see by the way. About being open, let

725
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 2: me tell you something. I am totally open, as you

726
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: can see. I am open privately and I am open publicly.

727
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 2: Most people fear to be open, even privately. And let

728
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 2: me tell you, transparency is one of the great gifts

729
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 2: that you can give yourself and the people around you.

730
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: Worst comes to worst, you get hurt. My father had

731
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: a great motto about pain. It's only pain. Pain never

732
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 2: killed anybody, and it's something you should remember because a

733
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:18,479
Speaker 2: lot of people remain closed because they're afraid that they'll

734
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 2: be hurt. Well, let me tell you something. Don't be

735
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 2: with people you're afraid will hurt you. And if you're

736
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 2: going to be with people, then open up. It's I don't.

737
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 2: I can't be with anybody I think will hurt me,

738
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: and I can't be with anybody that I won't open

739
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: up to. I mean, I've been more open with you

740
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 2: about my life than a lot of you are with

741
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 2: your friends. That's not good. Well, what are you guarding exactly?

742
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 2: Are you that fragile that you so your friend? So

743
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 2: your friend will use this information and it will backfire. Okay,

744
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 2: then you go to one better friend next time. But

745
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: what is your choice to remain closed? What? What the hell?

746
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 2: What the what is the good of that? What the

747
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 2: hell is the good of that? Is what I was

748
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 2: about to say the gentleman back there in the lovely

749
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 2: purple shirt or magenta magenta, I don't know if it's

750
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: purple orga because you have that you're religious, and I

751
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: want to know you always a religious there? Yes, I

752
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 2: was raised religious. I was always a God centered but

753
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: I dropped my religious practices that I was raised with

754
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 2: because I didn't want to be what I was out

755
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 2: of habit. I wanted to be what I was out

756
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 2: of conviction. And in Judaism, practices are are the way

757
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 2: in which one is religious. It's a law, it's a

758
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 2: religious law based religion. So I dropped most of those

759
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 2: laws and then went back to many but not all

760
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 2: of them, and have worked out a whole theology of that.

761
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 2: It's a favorite subject of mine, but it wouldn't interest

762
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 2: most of you because you wouldn't know that much about

763
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 2: Judaism to understand what I've worked out that way. But

764
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:12,879
Speaker 2: Judaism does not believe that you have to be Jewish.

765
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,439
Speaker 2: That God does not demand that everybody be Jewish. God

766
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 2: demands that everybody be good. And so I have a

767
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 2: very easy way of helping bring people to whatever religion

768
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: will make them good. I was greeted by someone who

769
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 2: told me that I've greeted all the time, in fact,

770
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 2: by many Christians who tell me that I brought them

771
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 2: back to their Christian church or their Catholic church. And

772
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 2: I'm delighted. I'm just absolutely delighted. And I always say,

773
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 2: just remember that, you know, it was a Jew who

774
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: brought you back to your Christianity. You know, I want

775
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 2: to give credit to the source. That's all. Reminds me

776
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: of a Christian woman who got up at a lecture

777
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 2: that I had in some city, I think it was Phoenix,

778
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 2: and she said, I'm a Christian, and I want you

779
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:02,479
Speaker 2: to know you are my favorite Jew. And I said

780
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 2: I'm your second favorite Jew. I just wanted to make

781
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 2: it clear she appreciated the correction. Yes, yes, how many

782
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 2: it's so sad? Okay okay, Hi.

783
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 3: I wanted to see that from Orange County. And my

784
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 3: question is, what do you think is the best way

785
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 3: to help someone who isn't happy?

786
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 2: The best way to help someone who isn't happy give

787
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 2: them a copy of this lecture. There's nothing you can do.

788
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 2: Please know that most this is a very it's a

789
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 2: very depressing for you this answer. Maybe you cannot make

790
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 2: an unhappy person happy. Only they can make themselves happy.

791
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 2: All you will do is enable them, like a drug

792
00:50:55,920 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 2: dealer enables addicts. You will enable them to stay unhappy

793
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 2: by being constantly understanding of their unhappiness. The best thing

794
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 2: you could do is say I am sick of your unhappiness.

795
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 2: Either get happy or I get another friend. I know

796
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: this sounds cruel to you. It is not cruel. It

797
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 2: is cruel to enable the unhappy to say stay that way.

798
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 2: They have to change themselves. You are not God. We

799
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 2: think we're godlike that we can change people. We can't

800
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 2: you have to change yourself. That's why I said give

801
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 2: them this lecture. I wasn't kidding, because they're prepared to

802
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 2: hear from a stranger what they're not prepared to hear

803
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 2: from a sister or a friend or whomever. But you

804
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: cannot make them happy. No husband can make a wife happy.

805
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 2: No wife can make a husband happy. Unfortunately, a wife

806
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 2: can make a husband unhappy. A husband can make a

807
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 2: wife unhappy. But our power to make another happy is

808
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 2: very very small. Oh, very good question. Was there any

809
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 2: time between that fifteen year old ride, fifteen year old

810
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 2: riding on the New York subway and now that there

811
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 2: was a time when I couldn't be happy? I have

812
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 2: gone through real serious, painful periods in my life. I

813
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 2: think my friends can acknowledge that they knew that I

814
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 2: was in pain. But I can't say to you that

815
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 2: I devolved into what would normally be called an unhappy person.

816
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you one of the things that kept

817
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 2: me sober. And I don't mean not drinking, I mean

818
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:50,240
Speaker 2: emotionally sober. I don't happen to like alcohol. What did

819
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 2: was there were many things, but one thing, and this

820
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 2: is a good one to end with, There's a story

821
00:52:56,239 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 2: told about King Solomon, who was supposedly the great wisest

822
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 2: man of his time or ever, and he asked his

823
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,879
Speaker 2: wise men, I want you to make me a magic ring.

824
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 2: What will this magic ring do if I ever get

825
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 2: a little too bubbly? And you know manic, if you

826
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 2: know what that psychological term is, you know, we're irreplacably

827
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 2: crazily happy. And I wanted to bring me down a

828
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 2: little into reality. And if I ever get too unhappy,

829
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 2: I wanted to raise me, lift me back up. And

830
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 2: the wise men made him a magic ring. And on

831
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,360
Speaker 2: the magic ring were the Hebrew words gum zuo ya avor,

832
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 2: which means this too will pass. That kept me going

833
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 2: that ring during the toughest periods. I knew I needed patience.

834
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:59,919
Speaker 2: I knew I had to wait it through. I knew

835
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 2: not to lose my calm, and indeed, thank god, it

836
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 2: did in fact pass. Good luck, folks, life is a

837
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 2: real challenge. Thank you very much, Thank you.

838
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennispragger

839
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: dot com thousands of hours off Dennis's lectures, courses in

840
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 1: classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's rational Bibles,