1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Life. 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 2: Audio photographs tell the story of time past. People move 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 2: in and out of the frame, Babies grow from child 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 2: to adult, Moms and dads gain wrinkles and gray hair. 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 2: Just as our physical selves change over time, so do relationships, 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 2: including friendships. Friendships are one of God's greatest gifts, and 7 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: they can be one of life's most painful areas of change. 8 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: Some friendships deepen over time, some drift, and some and unexpectedly. 9 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 2: Yet God, our forever friend, remains faithful through every changing season. 10 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,319 Speaker 2: Welcome to your hope filled perspective, where it's always our 11 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 2: goal to restore hope, renew minds, and empower listeners to 12 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 2: live in your God given identity. I'm always so thankful 13 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,959 Speaker 2: when you choose to spend a few minutes of your 14 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: week with us. In honor of National Friendship Day, today, 15 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 2: we are going to talk about when friendships change and 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: how to trust God through seasons of relational transition. Joining 17 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 2: me today is my co host, Reverend Jessica van Rugel. 18 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 2: Not every friendship is meant to last forever, but every 19 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 2: friendship hand shape, teach and point us toward God's faithfulness. 20 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 2: We'll dive right into that right after this word from 21 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: our sponsor. 22 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 3: Friendships rarely end all at once. Most often, they change quietly, 23 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 3: little by little, until one day we realize something is different. 24 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 3: We may be closer, or we may have drifted apart. 25 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 3: Our lives may be richer because of the deepening friendship, 26 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 3: or we may feel the pain of a lost companion. 27 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 3: In honor of National Friendship Day today, we're talking about 28 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 3: when friendships change and how to trust God through seasons 29 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 3: of relational transition. 30 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,919 Speaker 2: To start this episode, we wanted to share a couple 31 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 2: of scriptures. The first is Proverbs twenty seven nine that 32 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 2: says oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the 33 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 2: sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. And 34 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 2: the other verses Proverbs eighteen twenty four. A man of 35 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 2: many companions may come to ruin, but there is a 36 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 2: friend who sticks closer than a brother. God's word instructs 37 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: us for daily living and relationship building. It also provides 38 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 2: comfort and hope. When relationships change, the memories between two 39 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: friends become somewhat of a sacred space. Within that space, 40 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 2: we find safety and belonging. Safety to share our deepest 41 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 2: hurts and find a companion who walks with us towards 42 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: healing belonging because we discover we're not really alone. 43 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 3: Losing closeness can feel like a grief. We grieve a 44 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 3: version of life we once enjoyed and found the comfort 45 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,239 Speaker 3: that our hearts needed, so we grieve it when it's gone. 46 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 3: We often expect friendships to remain unchanged forever. We forget 47 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 3: that life isn't static, it's dynamic. We mature, we heal, 48 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 3: we find hope, and friendships also change, sometimes for the better, though, 49 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 3: like gold refined and fire, and other times they go 50 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,399 Speaker 3: through the fire and don't make it out. 51 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 2: And other times change in friendship happens not so much 52 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 2: because of pain, because of distance geographically or spiritually or emotionally. 53 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 3: And that's right, because life is about growth. But this 54 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: is the question that comes to my mind. Why do 55 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 3: we feel abandoned when seasons shift? 56 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: That's a good question, and I'm glad that you asked it. 57 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 2: I think it's important for us to address deepest wounds 58 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 2: we experience. Is not always dramatic betrayal, although I've been 59 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 2: there too, but the quiet ache of a friendship slowly 60 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 2: drifting away. You know, just God created us for connection, 61 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: So when a relationship changes, the brain often interprets that 62 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: loss as danger rather than transition, because neuroscience shows us 63 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 2: that the relational disconnection activates many of the same pain 64 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: centers in the brain as physical pain, which is why 65 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: the end of a friendship season can feel surprisingly devastating. 66 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 2: We begin to question our worth, replay conversations, and wonder 67 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: what we did wrong. But not every drifting relationship is 68 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 2: evidence of rejection. Some friendships were meant for a particular season, assignment, 69 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 2: or a stage of growth. 70 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 3: That's right. And also we grow accustomed to their presence. 71 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 3: It's like this comforting cup of coffee or tea. I 72 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 3: look forward to make cup of coffee every morning. I 73 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 3: anticipate the warmth, and I savor every sip, and then 74 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 3: one day I miss it, and then another and another. 75 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 3: And friendships can be like that too. We feel bereft 76 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 3: without it, We feel uncomfortable, we feel abandoned. Scripture says 77 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 3: that for everything, there is a season and a time 78 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 3: for every matter under heaven. And that's from Ecclesiastes, chapter three, 79 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 3: verse one. You see, I live in a portion of 80 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 3: the country where I experience all four seasons in extremes. 81 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 3: So I understand this first in literal sense. I have 82 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 3: bitter cold to scorching heat. I even have the mud 83 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 3: season and the wind season. I look forward to the 84 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 3: changing seasons, but if I'm honest, I don't like it 85 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 3: when my friendships change. It hurts. 86 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 2: Yes, it does, and I'm glad that you mentioned Ecclesiastes. 87 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 2: It reminds us that there is a time for every 88 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: purpose under heaven, and that includes relationships. What feels like 89 00:05:53,600 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: abandonment may actually be God lovingly reshaping your pruning unhealthy dependence, 90 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 2: or making room for new connections that better align with 91 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 2: where He's taking you. The loss may still hurt, but 92 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 2: your value has never been determined by who stayed, who left, 93 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 2: or slowly faded away. God remains constant even when people 94 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 2: do not. And I think that was one of the 95 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 2: biggest revelations that I had to come to, because the 96 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 2: loss can be so great and you start to wonder 97 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 2: what did I do and what did they not see 98 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 2: in me? And how should I have been better? Yes, 99 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 2: and so I'm hoping Jess that this conversation helps minimize 100 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 2: shame that I think often comes with the loss of friendships, 101 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: but also helps us see that there is a time 102 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 2: and a space for everything that God has ordained. Suggs 103 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 2: in your experience, why to changing friendships sometimes affect us 104 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 2: more deeply then expected? 105 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 3: Oh, I think that's a really good question, And the 106 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 3: simplest answer is this, that our hearts and lives get intertwined, 107 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 3: our roots tangle together, and it hurts when there's a separation. 108 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 3: We wonder if our secrets are still safe. We question 109 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 3: whether our hurts are still sacred to them and will 110 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 3: they be paraded through the public square, or if the 111 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 3: change happens because of distance and not brokenness, we wonder 112 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 3: if we can still maintain the closeness despite miles between us. 113 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 3: Not all friendships are meant to look the same forever, 114 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 3: and that doesn't always mean that something went wrong. 115 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 2: And I'm glad that you mentioned that about it's really 116 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 2: that sacred space that we share with another. And I 117 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 2: think one of the reasons why the loss of friendships 118 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 2: or the change of friendships affects us so deeply is 119 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 2: because frequently we don't know what happened. And I remember 120 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 2: a season where a friendship of mine changed and I 121 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 2: had exactly those thoughts that you mentioned, like I shared 122 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 2: intimate personal vulnerable information. Was that going to be shared 123 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 2: with other people going forward? Was I going to be 124 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 2: put out on display? Those were things that I shared 125 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 2: in confidence. But when a relationship changes, we don't always 126 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 2: know the motive or the reason or what will happen 127 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 2: as a result. Exactly like you said, you experienced four 128 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 2: seasons all winter, spring, summer. It was a couple extra 129 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 2: like mud and wind. I'm a little bit jealous of 130 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 2: the four seasons. I miss that, not so much to 131 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: the mud in the wind. But we want to walk 132 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 2: you friends through some different types of friendship transitions, and 133 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 2: we'll do that right after this brief from our sponsor. 134 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,959 Speaker 2: Before the break, we talked about why friendship transitions hurt 135 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 2: so much. Now we want to turn our attention to 136 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 2: some different types of friendship transitions. For example, we have 137 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 2: school years, ministry seasons, parenting stages, and workplace friendships. Some 138 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 2: people walk with us, but just for a specific chapter. 139 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 3: Yes, when my youngest daughter went to college, we learned 140 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 3: about band aid friendships. These are described as the friends 141 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 3: we quickly gravitate too and we are thrust into a 142 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 3: new place like college. These friendships are quickly made and 143 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 3: they're formed out of a shared sense of trying to 144 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 3: figure out where we belong in this new space. But 145 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 3: as time passes and we grow more comfortable, we begin 146 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 3: having different experiences and we make different friends. We can 147 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 3: be grateful, though, for our band aid friends, because we 148 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 3: offered comfort for each other's need for a sense of sikus, 149 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 3: security and belonging in that mutual shared new space. But 150 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 3: not all band aid friends are meant to deepen. They're 151 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 3: there for a specific chapter in our lives. 152 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 2: I remember experiencing exactly what you just said, those band 153 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 2: aid friends, and it is that shared experience, that shared 154 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 2: need that we both have at the same time. Another 155 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 2: type of friendship transition is when the friendship deepens over time. 156 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: This type of friendship gets built on honesty and grace, 157 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 2: and it's sustained through intentionality, and it's tested through hardship 158 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 2: and grows when we grow. I had a friend and 159 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 2: that friendship started off as a band aid friendship. We 160 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 2: were both hundreds of miles away from our spouses while 161 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 2: we were on our clinical internship working towards our specialization 162 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 2: in neuropsychology, and so we bonded quickly and interestingly enough, 163 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 2: so did our spouses When they came to town. Now, when 164 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 2: that internship ended, some friendships that were formed during that 165 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 2: internship did end, but this particular one it deepened over time. 166 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 2: We saw each other through the deaths in our families, 167 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: the births of our children, later on through cancer and 168 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 2: health conditions, our kids graduating, and now our kids getting 169 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,719 Speaker 2: married and having children of their own. But what I 170 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:41,479 Speaker 2: found is, after that initial stage, that band aid stage, 171 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: if we wanted our friendship to grow, it did require intentionality. 172 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 3: Yes, And this type of friendship I think is really 173 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 3: rare because, like you said, use the word intentionality. It 174 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 3: requires an intention on both parties to keep moving the 175 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 3: friendship deeper. It requires clearing the schedule for unhurried times 176 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 3: of visiting and sharing our hidden hurts. It means holding 177 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 3: space for one another, shedding tears and praying for each other. 178 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 3: It benefits from the question, Hey, you want to run 179 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 3: Errand's with me? Yeah, it takes twice as long, but 180 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 3: we have twice as much fun than if we go 181 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 3: by ourselves. 182 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 2: Oh that's so true. This type of friendship transition is treasured. 183 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 2: But the flip side of that, Jess, is that there 184 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 2: are those relationships that end in pain. It can be 185 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 2: through betrayal, misalignment, emotional exhaustion, or one sidedness. 186 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're so right, Michelle. I wish all friendships deepened 187 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 3: into rare treasure, but honestly, sometimes they end in a 188 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 3: dumpster fire. Betrayal causes us to wonder if we misread 189 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 3: the friendship when we shared our deepest thoughts and feelings. 190 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 3: Misalignment can happen when one friend wants to go deeper 191 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 3: in their relationship with God and the other determines that 192 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 3: they don't. I'll never forget the time when I offered 193 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 3: to pray with a friend who was going through a 194 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 3: really difficult season, and they said they didn't want to pray, 195 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,839 Speaker 3: they didn't want me to pray, and they didn't want 196 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 3: me to share scripture with them anymore. And that's when 197 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 3: I realized how far we had drifted. It was painful 198 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 3: to hear her reject our. 199 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 2: God, and then drifting hurts because you still have the 200 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 2: longing or what was even when the other person has 201 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 2: started to move on. And sometimes we're not aware when 202 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 2: that starts, so when it becomes apparent, it's almost like 203 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 2: a smack in the face because we weren't expecting it. 204 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so true. 205 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 2: An emotional exhaustion can go hand in hand with a 206 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: one sided relationship. I've had those times in Jessica. You 207 00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 2: probably have too, when someone always wants our comfort, our listening, 208 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:07,319 Speaker 2: ear our prayers, but doesn't reciprocate, and that can be draining. 209 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 2: It also creates distance because there doesn't seem to be 210 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 2: room for our hearts in the friendship. In fact, it 211 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 2: often causes our hearts pain. 212 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 3: It's true a one sided relationship can be a painful 213 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 3: change in a friendship. And sometimes though there's no dramatic ending, 214 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 3: there's just life. Schedules change, marriage and kids take priority 215 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: and focus. One friend might need to relocate for various reasons. 216 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 3: But this is the truth that I cling to and 217 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 3: I've learned to trust that distance doesn't have to erase 218 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 3: meaningful history. Friends. We're going to continue our conversation about 219 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 3: God's faithfulness when friendships change after we take this brief 220 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: break for a word from our sponsor. 221 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 2: Welcome back to your Hope Field perspective. Today we're talking 222 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 2: about God's faithfulness when friendships change. Before the break, we 223 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 2: discussed why changes in friendships hurt and the different seasons 224 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 2: of friendship. We're back now and turning our attention to 225 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 2: biblical examples of friendship change. Jessica, I love how the 226 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 2: Bible can be our source of teaching, encouragement, and hope 227 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,359 Speaker 2: with all of life. The example of Paul and Barnabas 228 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 2: in Acts fifteen thirty six through forty one shows us 229 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 2: how a changed relationship does not cancel the good that 230 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 2: God once did through it. Paul and Barnabas traveled to 231 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 2: different communities to spread the good news of Jesus, to 232 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: establish churches, and to encourage followers of Christ. However, they 233 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 2: had a disagreement and that included John Mark. On their 234 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 2: second trip, Paul didn't want to include him because he 235 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 2: left them midway through the journey. Barnabas disagreed with Paul 236 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 2: and thought they should include Mark, so rather than going together, 237 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: they chose different teammate and instead of one team sent 238 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 2: out two teams went to encourage the churches. So their 239 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 2: change in their friendship actually didn't diminish the work that 240 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 2: God had done in them together, and it did not 241 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 2: prevent more good from being done through them, Although I'm 242 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 2: sure at the time that was pretty uncomfortable and left 243 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 2: them all wondering what happened here. 244 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 3: I think that's a great example, and I love how 245 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 3: you touched on the fact that we assumed that there 246 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 3: were hard feelings. It doesn't say that there were or 247 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 3: were not, but we assumed that there might have been 248 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 3: because we put ourselves into that story. We recognized the 249 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 3: tearing of a partnership. But we also know that later 250 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 3: in Paul's life, Ye commended John Mark for his work 251 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 3: in promoting the Gospel, and he even asked for John 252 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 3: Mark to come visit him. Another example of friendship chain 253 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 3: was with David and Jonathan. This friendship reveals that some 254 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 3: relationships leave a permanent impact, even when circumstances change. First, 255 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 3: Samuel details the friendship between the two young men. One 256 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 3: was the son of a king and probable rightful heir, 257 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 3: but the other was the anointed king, and instead of jealousy, 258 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 3: a deep friendship grew between them. And when Jonathan's father 259 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 3: determined to kill David, it was Jonathan who protected him 260 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 3: and aid it in his escape. His loyalty was not 261 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 3: to the crown but to the King of kings, and 262 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:35,879 Speaker 3: through him David was saved. 263 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 2: You know, their friendship makes me think about Jesus and 264 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: the disciples, people came and went throughout his ministry. Many 265 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 2: people followed him for what Jesus could do for them, 266 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 2: and many decided to unfollow him when his teachings grew 267 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 2: too challenging. And of course we can't forget about Judas. 268 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 2: But here's the remarkable thing about that, even knowing that 269 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 2: Judas would eventually betray Jesus, Jesus welcomed him as a friend. Yeah. 270 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 2: Even Jesus experienced disappointment, abandonment, and relational grief. 271 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. So what we're basically saying is that we can 272 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 3: learn from these biblical examples of friendship change, is that 273 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 3: if friendship changed in scripture, then maybe we could stop 274 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 3: seeing every relational shift as failure or rejection. 275 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 2: So what do we do when friendships change? Let's turn 276 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 2: our attention to practical steps. The first thing that I 277 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:53,400 Speaker 2: would say is to grieve. Honestly, friendship change hurts. Yeah, 278 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 2: sometimes it's unexpected and other times it's just a gradual change. 279 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 2: Like we mentioned, it's important that we don't minimize the loss. 280 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,919 Speaker 2: A loss is a loss, whether it's big or it's small, 281 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 2: and losses hurt, and it's also okay to miss them 282 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 2: rather than welding that part of our hearts closed though, 283 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: step into the hurt or recognize it, allow yourself to 284 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 2: miss them. 285 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:29,679 Speaker 3: It's so good. Secondly, release unrealistic expectations. Not every friend 286 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 3: can meet our every need for the rest of our lives. 287 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 3: That's Jesus's job, and he does it better than any 288 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 3: expectation we might place on a friend. Our friends can't 289 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 3: be God or Holy Spirit or our Savior. They can 290 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: be used by God to speak into our lives, to 291 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: refine us and to encourage us, but they can't meet 292 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 3: all our expectations. God is our everything, not our friendship. 293 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 2: And I think sometimes that may be why God allows 294 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 2: friendships to change. Sometimes I'm going to confess there have 295 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: been times that I've shared things with a friend before 296 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 2: I've taken it to the Lord. There are times that 297 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 2: I look to friends for answers instead of in the 298 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 2: Word of God first, and so sometimes that can lead 299 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 2: to God saying, Okay, this season is over, I need 300 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 2: you to turn your eyes back towards me. Yew. Third, 301 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 2: I would recommend that you spend time appreciating what was good. 302 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 2: This one can be hard to do, and I've been 303 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 2: their friends, but especially if it was a once close 304 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 2: friendship that's gone astray. If there was betrayal involved, the 305 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 2: forgiveness process can take a while, but eventually we can 306 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 2: look back and remember the good about that friendship, learn 307 00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:00,239 Speaker 2: from it, appreciate it, cultivate it in other relationships. If 308 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 2: there was a drift due to seasons of life, we 309 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 2: can honor the friendship without forcing it back into its 310 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 2: old form. 311 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 3: That You've given us a lot to think about with 312 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 3: step three, but I'm going to talk about Step four. 313 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 3: Leave room for new friendships. Keep your hearts open when 314 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 3: friendships change. It's tempting to close our hearts permanently to 315 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,680 Speaker 3: new friends. I've done this. I've held people at arm's 316 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,119 Speaker 3: length because I'm like, you can't come any further because 317 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 3: my heart's been hurt in the past. What if I 318 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 3: invest in this friendship and I still experience the same 319 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 3: pain God has shown me. We must leave room for 320 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 3: new friendships. Sometimes God uses changing friendships to make space 321 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 3: for growth. Maybe we place too many expectations on them 322 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 3: to meet our every need, and God wants us to 323 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 3: look to him first when we face troubles. Just like 324 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 3: what Michelle said just previously to this, or maybe a 325 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 3: friendship isn't helping accomplish God's goals for our lives. Changes 326 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 3: and friendships happen, but it's important to leave room for 327 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 3: new friendships. 328 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 2: Fifth, let God be your constant. God's present doesn't shift 329 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 2: or drift or abandon or betray. Hebrews thirteen five b 330 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 2: through six tells us God has said, I will never 331 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 2: fail you, I will never abandon you. So we can 332 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,199 Speaker 2: say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, so I 333 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 2: will have no fear. What can mere people do to 334 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 2: me when friendships change? Is tempting to look at other 335 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,200 Speaker 2: people through a suspicious lens. We wonder if they will 336 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 2: be there for us. We wonder if they have trustworthy hearts. 337 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 2: We wonder if we will be safe in the friendship. 338 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 2: But God has promised he is trustworthy. He is instant. 339 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 2: He hears us when we call, He wipes away our tears. 340 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 2: He is constant, even when the friends in our lives 341 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,119 Speaker 2: are not. Now, we have talked about biblical examples of 342 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:11,439 Speaker 2: friendships which experience change, and we ate five tips for 343 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 2: when we experience changes in our friendships. But we want 344 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 2: to offer you a few more valuable. 345 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 3: Points discussing friendships. Changes can be a heavy, serious subject. 346 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 3: I've experienced changes in my friendships and it can hurt deeply. 347 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 3: But I also know that God can use all my 348 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 3: experiences and all my painful moments to refine me and 349 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 3: make me more like him. We want you to remember 350 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 3: these four things. 351 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 2: One, you are not forgotten. Because a friendship changes, and 352 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 2: you know it feels like it. There are no more 353 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 2: texts or phone calls or sharing reels back and forth 354 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 2: on social media. The calendar dates are empty because get 355 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: togethers no longer take place. It feels lonely because the 356 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 2: spaces where your friendship took place are empty. But God 357 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 2: will not forget you. He sees you in the pain, 358 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 2: and he enters it with you. He is your shepherd, 359 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,880 Speaker 2: restoring your soul as you rest in him. 360 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 3: Two, a friendship change is not proof that you are unlovable. 361 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 3: I know it can feel that way, especially if it 362 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 3: seems to happen on a semi regular basis. But I 363 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,679 Speaker 3: want to remind you of what Romans Chapter eight, verses 364 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 3: thirty eight and thirty nine says. And I am convinced 365 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 3: that nothing can ever separate us from God's love, neither 366 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 3: death nor life, neither angels or demons. Neither our fears 367 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 3: for today, nor our worries about tomorrow. Not even the 368 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 3: power of hell can separate us from God's love. No 369 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 3: power in the sky above or in the earth below. Indeed, 370 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 3: nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate 371 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 3: us from the love of God that is revealed in 372 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 3: Christ Jesus our Lord. And nothing includes changes in friendships. 373 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 3: Hold on to the truth that you are lovable. 374 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 2: Number three. God still writes beautiful stories through changing relationships. 375 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 2: He's not done with you. He is writing his story 376 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 2: in your life, a life that can reflect a faithful heart, 377 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 2: a gentle spirit, and a generous friend. Your story, even 378 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 2: the messy parts, is being made into something beautiful. 379 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 3: And Fourth, some friendships may even return in healthier ways later. 380 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 3: Every one of us has our own stories, filled with 381 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,399 Speaker 3: triumph and pain. God, in his way, likes us to 382 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 3: bring to a choosing point. Will we choose his way 383 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 3: of healing or will we choose our way of hiding. 384 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 3: Some friendships change based on how we answer that. But 385 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 3: God can redeem even the most painful parts of our stories, 386 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 3: and sometimes he restores a friendship we thought we lost. 387 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 2: Some people are meant to walk beside you forever. Others 388 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,960 Speaker 2: were meant to help you carry you through a portion 389 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 2: of your journey, both their gifts and because of God's 390 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 2: constant faithfulness, we can thank Him for both, Jessica. If 391 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,480 Speaker 2: a listener or a viewer is resonating with this conversation, 392 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 2: maybe they're feeling the staying and the pain of a 393 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 2: friendship transition. Maybe they've been there before and they're wondering. 394 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's safe to open my heart again. 395 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 2: I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want 396 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 2: to be taken off guard again. What fulfilled perspective would 397 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 2: you want to leave them with? 398 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 3: I would encourage you cultivate courage to trust God in 399 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 3: friendship transitions. He can heal your wounds and carry your confusion. 400 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 3: He can also eventually bring your heart to point where 401 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 3: you can't rejoice for that once upon a time friendship. 402 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 3: In the meantime, thank God for the ways this friendship 403 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 3: helped shape who you are becoming. 404 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 2: And I would add to that that, as painful as 405 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 2: it is during friendship transitions, take the good and foster 406 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 2: that in new friendships. Remember what it felt like when 407 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 2: there was ambiguity, and strive to make you a better 408 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:34,360 Speaker 2: communicator in friendships, be the friend you wish they had been. 409 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 2: But most of all, remember you always have a friend 410 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 2: in Jesus. Yeah, now, Jessica, you and I both know 411 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 2: this is painful. This is part of the reason that 412 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 2: we're talking about it in honor of National Friendship Deck 413 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 2: because sometimes we know the sting. We've both been there. 414 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 2: We've had conversations about this between us and even on air, 415 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 2: so friend because we know we're not minimizing this at all, 416 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 2: but we want you to see that we've come to 417 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 2: realize even during those painful times, God is faithful. So 418 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,199 Speaker 2: as we close out this episode, I just want to 419 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 2: pray for you, Father God. I thank you for the 420 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 2: listener and the viewer. You might be resonating with his conversation. 421 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 2: They might be going through a friendship transition and wondering 422 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 2: what happened or what did I do wrong? And Lord, 423 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 2: I know that you don't always provide the answers to 424 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 2: the questions that we have, but you do provide your presence. 425 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,119 Speaker 2: You do offer wisdom when we ask for it. You 426 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 2: have promised to be our comforter and you are our 427 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 2: peace Father. Would you be that to them right now? 428 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 2: In a very tangible way. Would you just wrap your 429 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 2: arms around them and let them know that other people's 430 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 2: choices doesn't dictate our worth. Are worth and valued. Were 431 00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 2: settled the day that Jesus gave up his life, and 432 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 2: in doing so he determined you, my friend, are worthy. Mother. 433 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 2: Remind them of that, Remind them of your everlasting love, 434 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 2: and help them to use this experience to be a 435 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 2: better reflection of you in their future friendships. Lord, we 436 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 2: thank you that you don't waste our pain and that 437 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 2: you promise that you will bring good from it for 438 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 2: those who love you and are called according to your purpose. Mother, 439 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 2: Thank you for that in Jesus' name, I pray, Jess, 440 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 2: thank you for another great conversation. Sometimes I wish our 441 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 2: conversations weren't born out of our own painful experiences, but 442 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 2: I am so grateful that God uses them and that 443 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 2: in that we can share hope with others. Friends, if 444 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 2: there was something in today's episode that resonated with you, 445 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 2: or you know someone who's struggling in a friendship transition. 446 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 2: They're walking through the pain after our friendship has ended, 447 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 2: would you please consider sharing this episode with them so 448 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,719 Speaker 2: that they too will have a biblically based hope filled perspective. 449 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 2: I look forward to being with you again next week 450 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 2: for another hope field perspective. But in the meantime, it's 451 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 2: my preyer for you, friend, that you have a hope 452 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 2: filled week. 453 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally, 454 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal, 455 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: or unexpected and unwanted change. Often pain is temporary, but 456 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: what do you do when it isn't? When pain won't 457 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 1: go away, healing does not come, and grief and hurt 458 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of chronic 459 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: pain in her years as a board certified clinical neuropsychologist, 460 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 1: doctor Michelle Bankson provides a countercultural perspective on pain, offering 461 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: hope without any false promises or empty platitudes. Doctor Benkson 462 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 1: unwraps the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She 463 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: gives you permission to question God, helps you identify the 464 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 1: lies you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective 465 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 1: based on the truth of God's word. Each chapter ends 466 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: with a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your 467 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 1: pain may not change, but your experience with it can. 468 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:34,440 Speaker 1: Doctor Sandra Dalton Smith, physician, best selling author, and a 469 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 1: host of the I Choose My Best Life podcast, had 470 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 1: this to say about the Hem of His Garment. Doctor 471 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 1: Michelle Benkson is honest and transparent, and she gives the 472 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 1: reader permission to ask hard questions in practical guidance on 473 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: how to seek God during times when you feel the 474 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: most wounded. A beautiful gift for every person living with pain, 475 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: Holy Girth. Best selling author of What Your Mind Needs 476 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: for Anxious Moments says pain is inevitable, but enduring it 477 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 1: alone is optional. Doctor Michelle Bankson is a voice of 478 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: hope who will speak into your struggles at helping hand 479 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: who will point you to Jesus and a wise guide 480 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 1: who will lead you through what you're facing so you 481 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: can embrace more of what our good God has for you. 482 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: Pick up a copy of The Hem of His Garment 483 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: for you and a friend wherever books are sold. 484 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 4: Thank you for joining doctor Bankson for your hope build perspective. 485 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 4: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and 486 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:47,120 Speaker 4: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation, when you take 487 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 4: a moment. Right now, open up your podcast app and 488 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 4: look for the subscribe button right next to our podcast 489 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,280 Speaker 4: profile image. We think this podcast is best. 490 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 5: Enjoyed with friends, so tell a friend and click share 491 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 5: and in your podcast app and send a friend or 492 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 5: link to share Hope with them. If you have a comment, question, 493 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 5: or suggest a topic for a future show, reach out 494 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 5: to our staff at info at Hope Prevails dot org. 495 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,840 Speaker 5: For additional resources. 496 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 4: Information about doctor Bankson's books where free downloads, or to 497 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 4: contact her to speak at your next event, Please visit 498 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 4: doctor Mishelbe dot com. 499 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 5: Until next time, May you have a hope filledweek. 500 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 2: I'd like to take just a second to thank the 501 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 2: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on 502 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 2: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com, you'll 503 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 2: find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in their network. 504 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 2: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.