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Speaker 1: Hey everybody, this is Dr. Zach Clinton from the Built

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Speaker 1: Different Podcast, and I want to share with you an

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Speaker 1: episode of On the Ground with Samaritan's Purse. I think

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Speaker 1: you'll appreciate this conversation with host Christy Graham, as this

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Speaker 1: week she talks with her husband, Edward Graham. On the

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Speaker 1: Ground shines a light on the work of Samaritan's Purse,

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Speaker 1: the ministry founded by the late Reverend Billy Graham as

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Speaker 1: it continues to serve across the globe, wherever there is

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Speaker 1: crisis or disaster, wherever people are hurting and in critical need.

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Speaker 1: I hope you will enjoy.

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Speaker 2: Life Audio.

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Speaker 1: Built Different is a production of the American Association of

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Speaker 1: Christian Counselors. To support this podcast and learn how you

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Speaker 1: can help us to promote all our biblical content, spread

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Speaker 1: the gospel, and provide mental health resources and training to

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Speaker 1: people everywhere, just go to aaccfoundation.org. Again, that's aaccfoundation.org. Hey everybody,

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Speaker 1: welcome back into the Build Different podcast. I'll be your

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Speaker 1: host today, Dr. Zach Clinton, and I just want to

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Speaker 1: begin by thanking you so much for taking the time

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Speaker 1: and making us a part of your day. If you

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Speaker 1: like what you hear today, make sure you hit that

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Speaker 1: subscribe button. It means a lot as we continue building

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Speaker 1: a real community here at Build Different, and leave us

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Speaker 1: a review. I read them, I appreciate your feedback, and

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Speaker 1: I always love hearing how these conversations are impacting your life.

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Speaker 1: I also want you to know today before we begin

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Speaker 1: that Built Different is proudly sponsored by Liberty University. Liberty

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Speaker 1: University has impacted my life greatly. My friend, I'm a

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Speaker 1: graduate and a big believer in what Liberty University has

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Speaker 1: to offer you. The vision of Dr. Jerry Falwell Sr.

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Speaker 1: is alive and well, and I believe it's stronger than

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Speaker 1: ever before. Did you know that LU offers over 600

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Speaker 1: online programs taught by experts who understand your calling and

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Speaker 1: support you to help you reach it? And while the

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Speaker 1: path to higher education has changed over the years... One

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Speaker 1: thing has never changed. That's our mission to train champions

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Speaker 1: for Christ, whether on campus, online, or around the world.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to liberty.edu. Again,

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Speaker 1: that's www.liberty.edu forward slash built different to start your journey

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Speaker 1: to personal growth and professional fulfillment today. All right, my friend,

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Speaker 1: let's dive into today's conversation with a very special guest.

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Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome back into the Build Different Podcast. As always,

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Speaker 1: we'll be your host, Dr.

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Speaker 2: Zach Linton. I'm Dr. Tim Clinton.

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Speaker 1: And our guest today is Bailey Hager. Bailey is a

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Speaker 1: pioneering artist and producer celebrated for her groundbreaking role as

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Speaker 1: the first female producer signed a capital Christian music group.

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Speaker 1: Her innovative spirit and dedication to her craft have garnered

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Speaker 1: widespread recognition, including a recent milestone of over 3 million

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Speaker 1: streams on Apple Music alone. Bailey is open for the

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Speaker 1: band Sanctus Real and performed her songs all over the nation.

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Speaker 1: Her debut album, All the Time, is out now. Bailey

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Speaker 1: also uses her talents and platform to advocate for mental

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Speaker 1: health awareness and suicide prevention, which of course we love.

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Speaker 1: Her mental health journey and her testimony today will certainly

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Speaker 1: move you. Bailey, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm so excited. Thank you, guys.

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Speaker 1: Before we go backwards and we really... unpackage your story.

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Speaker 1: I just want to start with where we're at today,

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Speaker 1: because God's doing something special in and through you. Earlier

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Speaker 1: this year, you released the EP, New Thing.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 1: So many incredible songs on that. Thank you. Show You

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Speaker 1: My Scars, that's one of my favorites. I was literally

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Speaker 1: listening to it on the airplane on the way here

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Speaker 1: last night. That's awesome. And God is continuing to use

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Speaker 1: your story, just touching countless lives. I mean, especially through

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Speaker 1: social media. One of our people at AACC, our employees,

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Speaker 1: they were reaching out to us saying, sending me all

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Speaker 1: your videos, Bailey. Like God's doing something special in hers.

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Speaker 1: You got to get her on the show. Catch us

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Speaker 1: up to speed. What are you most excited about in

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Speaker 1: this season of life?

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Speaker 3: I think all the traveling that I've gotten to do,

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Speaker 3: sharing my story and walking the things that God's called

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Speaker 3: me to since I was a little kid. So I'm

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Speaker 3: about to go to my fourth country this year, and

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Speaker 3: I will have been to Canada twice this year. I

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Speaker 3: was in Europe earlier this summer and went to France

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Speaker 3: and England and got to share my story there. It's

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Speaker 3: just been so wild. I love to travel, so it's

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Speaker 3: been amazing to see all the places that God is

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Speaker 3: sending me. So that's probably the most exciting part. is

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Speaker 3: all the travel. And I love airports. It just feels

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Speaker 3: exciting to me. It's like you're going somewhere. And so

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Speaker 3: I will show up so early just so I can

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Speaker 3: work in the airport and walk around. So that's been

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Speaker 3: my favorite part, I think, so far. It's been really cool.

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Speaker 1: Feeling the energy. And by the way, right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're leaving to Uganda for a missions trip.

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Speaker 3: It's true. Yes, right after this.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: Immediately.

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Speaker 1: We're grateful that you joined us on your way to

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Speaker 1: the airport. Let me tell you that.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad we can make this happen. I know. When

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Speaker 3: you said that, I was like, If you can do

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Speaker 3: it this time, otherwise I'm going to be gone for

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Speaker 3: two weeks. So yeah, I'm glad it worked out.

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Speaker 2: Bailey, I've learned through the years that God never wastes

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Speaker 2: the wound.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: There's no such thing as wasted pain with God.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: That he's always doing his work. And a lot of

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Speaker 2: who you are, your identity, your music career, at least

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Speaker 2: early on, really one of my favorite songs is this

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Speaker 2: It Gets Better piece, which I really like. And you

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Speaker 2: build it out of Psalm 22, verse 4. In you,

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Speaker 2: our ancestors put their trust. They trusted you and you

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Speaker 2: delivered them. Talk to us about maybe building a career

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Speaker 2: around that. Maybe was there some pushback on it? What

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Speaker 2: have you? And just what have you seen happen?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, well, I've been a songwriter almost all

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Speaker 3: my life, even when I didn't know that's what I

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Speaker 3: was doing. And it's always just been a way for

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Speaker 3: me to be honest and write about what's happening on

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Speaker 3: the inside. And I think the more industrialized it became,

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Speaker 3: the more I got into the public eye. There can

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Speaker 3: be this pressure to not be as honest and, you know,

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Speaker 3: to like, you know, and overthink a little bit. But

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Speaker 3: I've just always been like, that's my number one rule

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Speaker 3: when I'm writing is to be 100% honest. And I

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Speaker 3: pull that inspiration from King David because he was gut level.

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Speaker 2: Honest with God. He just poured it out.

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Speaker 3: Yes, for all of us to read. And I think

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Speaker 3: when I was younger, I was like, wow, he's so dramatic.

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Speaker 3: Like my bed is soaked with tears.

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Speaker 1: Like, whoa.

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Speaker 3: I was like, really? And then I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: all right. Then there. And so I think, yeah, there

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Speaker 3: was just a little bit of pushback, especially as I

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Speaker 3: got started getting more specific about the things that I

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Speaker 3: struggled with in my story. But God has continued to

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Speaker 3: honor my vulnerability because it leads to more vulnerability and

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Speaker 3: One of my favorite things to talk about when I

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Speaker 3: start sharing is there's a scripture that says confess your

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Speaker 3: sins to God and you're forgiven. But there's another scripture

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Speaker 3: that says confess to one another and you're healed. And

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Speaker 3: there's this process that God has created that when you're

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Speaker 3: vulnerable with safe people and you say things out loud,

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Speaker 3: there's a healing that happens. And that's why I've continued to.

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Speaker 2: Well, something's clicking.

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Speaker 3: Sure.

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Speaker 2: Something's happening. I'm grateful. It is.

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Speaker 1: And what I so appreciate about you, and I know

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Speaker 1: countless others do as well, is you don't write from

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Speaker 1: a performative sense.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: You write really from the depth of your pain that

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Speaker 1: you've experienced with such authenticity and honesty. And so I

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Speaker 1: want to go backward for a moment. We like to

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Speaker 1: unpackage the backwater of somebody's story. I want to dive

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Speaker 1: a little bit into who was Bailey Hager... growing up

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Speaker 1: and really some of the challenges that maybe were going

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Speaker 1: on interpersonally that maybe nobody saw from the outside. We

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Speaker 1: all put on a facade and a mask at times.

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Speaker 1: But I want to go into the depth of what

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Speaker 1: were some of the hardest things that really helped create

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Speaker 1: the leader that sits across from us today.

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Speaker 2: That childhood and all that story.

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Speaker 3: Wow, yeah. You know, I've had a pretty wild story.

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Speaker 3: When I look back at it, I'm just like, thank you, Lord.

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Speaker 3: So my mom had me at 17 years old. She

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Speaker 3: was a pastor's kid. And then at 15, he ended

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Speaker 3: up getting diagnosed with cancer. And within like a year

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Speaker 3: of being diagnosed, he passed away when she was 16.

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Speaker 3: And so then she had me at 17. So that

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Speaker 3: kind of started, you know, the whirlwind. And obviously, like,

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Speaker 3: she decided to keep me and raise me. And through that,

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Speaker 3: she met the person that I called my dad when

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Speaker 3: I was two. He adopted me when they got married.

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Speaker 3: My biological father's not in the picture at all. I

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Speaker 3: did not know that he was not my biological father

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Speaker 3: until I was 10 years old when I started asking questions.

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Speaker 3: And that was really hard for me because even though

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Speaker 3: I didn't, I don't think I understood like the gravity

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Speaker 3: of that, but there was something in me that knew.

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Speaker 3: And so that was, that was really hard. But my dad,

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Speaker 3: he told me, he said, you're my daughter. Nothing has changed. Um,

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Speaker 3: my parents divorced when I was 12. There was just

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Speaker 3: a lot happening. Um, there was addiction involved on my

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Speaker 3: dad's side.

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Speaker 2: So let me make sure I understand. So your identity issue, um,

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Speaker 2: he's telling you that he loves you. Yeah. Uh, no

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Speaker 2: matter what.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And then they divorced on top of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Two years later.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So now what's going on inside of you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And my mom, she was working two jobs cause

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Speaker 3: my dad was actually a philosophy professor.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: And, So I was more around my dad growing up

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Speaker 3: in those years than I was my mom. So when

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Speaker 3: my parents split, my mom took us to Indiana, where

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Speaker 3: my family's from. And so, yeah, then I was like

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Speaker 3: now with my mom more than I was with my dad.

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Speaker 3: And my dad was like my person, you know?

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Speaker 2: Such a big shift.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And I had two other sisters during that time.

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Speaker 3: My mom had two sisters with my dad. And so

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Speaker 3: I had two siblings. So obviously I'm the oldest. So

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Speaker 3: we moved to Indiana. My dad got remarried very quickly after.

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Speaker 3: He was basically already with another person when they split up.

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Speaker 3: And then my mom got remarried. And that was already

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Speaker 3: very hard for me. I mean, I was 12, so

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Speaker 3: started to get into those teenage years. And when my

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Speaker 3: mom got Started dating and got remarried. I was very

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Speaker 3: unhappy with it. I was very angry. That's when I

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Speaker 3: started to really develop like an anger. And then he

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Speaker 3: joined the army. So we moved to Germany. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: for three years and lived on a military base. And

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Speaker 3: then my mom got pregnant with my brother. So I

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Speaker 3: was 14 years old when my brother was born. And

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Speaker 3: I think this is kind of when everything started to

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Speaker 3: get really heavy on the inside of me. But I

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Speaker 3: am the oldest, so it's like, you know.

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Speaker 2: Responsibility, weight.

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Speaker 1: Yes, the responsibility.

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Speaker 2: Be the tough one. Figure it out. Lead the way.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, exactly. And then especially my mom having a baby

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Speaker 3: with me as being a teenager, it's like second mom almost.

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Speaker 3: And that marriage ended up being really unhealthy, abusive. And so,

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Speaker 3: and then, you know, he was deployed for a year.

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Speaker 3: So it was just my mom and us siblings with

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Speaker 3: a brand new baby. So I didn't really have the one,

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Speaker 3: the language, but also it felt like I didn't have

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Speaker 3: the space to say what was going on. And I

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Speaker 3: don't think I really knew until a little bit later.

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Speaker 3: Cause it was just like, do the thing. And I'm

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Speaker 3: adjusting to this new life, military culture on top of

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Speaker 3: European culture on top of my mom being married. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And you having to grow up real fast.

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Speaker 3: Yes. So it was like, I don't think I realized

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Speaker 3: what was happening. And yeah, but during that time when

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Speaker 3: I was 13 is when I really started to write

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Speaker 3: songs and I was using songs as a way to process.

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Speaker 3: And I was raised in church up until that time

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Speaker 3: when my parents, like when we moved to Germany, I

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Speaker 3: was in church before that. So it's like I had

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Speaker 3: this relationship with the Lord and I loved it. I

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Speaker 3: was in youth group and I was on the worship team.

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Speaker 3: So it's like Before we moved to Germany, I was

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Speaker 3: in church three times a week and I loved it.

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Speaker 3: Worship practice, youth group, Sunday morning. My church was signed

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Speaker 3: to Integrity Music at the time, so they were singing

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Speaker 3: original songs. I didn't know you could do that in church.

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Speaker 3: I was fascinated by that. And so that was like

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Speaker 3: what was keeping me steady and full of joy during

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Speaker 3: that time when everything was shifting and changing.

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Speaker 2: And then.

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Speaker 3: right before we, we moved, um, I actually lost a

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Speaker 3: friend to suicide, um, at 13 years old. One of

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Speaker 3: my best friends and my neighbor, like me, I would

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Speaker 3: go to my friend's house down the street and then

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Speaker 3: hop the fence over to my friend's house and, and

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Speaker 3: hang out with them. They were brothers. And, um, yeah.

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Speaker 3: And so that was, I don't know, everything just got

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Speaker 3: really heavy after that. So that's kind of where, where

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Speaker 3: I was. And then using songwriting, um, And then I

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Speaker 3: remember in Germany, I started singing the Psalms. And I

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Speaker 3: don't remember why. Nobody taught me to do that. But

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Speaker 3: I just was like, this is prime songwriting content right here.

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Speaker 3: And so I just started singing the Psalms. And I

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Speaker 3: didn't know it then, but God was teaching me how

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Speaker 3: to hear His voice during that time. And during the

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Speaker 3: chaos and the abuse and everything that was happening, it

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Speaker 3: felt like getting away to write songs and sing the

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Speaker 3: word was like this time between me and God when

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Speaker 3: the rest of my family was like falling apart and

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Speaker 3: not in church. And, um, so yeah, that's kind of

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Speaker 3: the history of little, little Bailey.

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Speaker 1: Hey, my friend, before we jump back into today's conversation,

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Speaker 1: I just want to remind you that built different is

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Speaker 1: proudly sponsored by Liberty university. This partnership means a lot

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Speaker 1: to me personally. You know, I was born and raised

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Speaker 1: in Lynchburg, Virginia, and I've watched Liberty grow tremendously over

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Speaker 1: the years, but I, I've also experienced firsthand the impact

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Speaker 1: this university can have on a life. I graduated from Liberty.

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Speaker 1: I played four years of Division I baseball here. I

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Speaker 1: met some of my closest friends and most influential mentors here.

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Speaker 1: I met my wife, Evelyn, here. And most importantly, Liberty

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Speaker 1: became part of the story God used to deepen my

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Speaker 1: relationship with Jesus Christ. Today, I have the privilege of

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Speaker 1: continuing that story by serving Liberty Athletics and investing in

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Speaker 1: the lives and mental health of our student-athletes. That's why

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Speaker 1: I believe so deeply in Liberty's mission to train champions

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Speaker 1: for Christ. With more than 16,000 residential students and 600

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Speaker 1: online programs, Liberty gives you the opportunity to pursue your

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Speaker 1: education alongside faculty who want to help equip you for

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Speaker 1: your calling on campus, online, and around the world. To

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Speaker 1: learn more and to take that next step, all you

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Speaker 1: have to do is go to liberty.edu forward slash built

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Speaker 1: different today. I'm just thinking about the hurt, the pain,

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Speaker 1: everything that's going on within you during those years. And

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Speaker 1: I know as we sit across from people as counselors

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Speaker 1: on a regular basis, there's oftentimes an incongruence of where

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Speaker 1: they're showing up, they're performing, they're doing what they need

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Speaker 1: to do, they're getting things done because it's what's required

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Speaker 1: of them or what they believe is what is required

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Speaker 1: of them. But on the inside, Bailey, they're slowly starting

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Speaker 1: to almost disintegrate from the inside out. They're imploding. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking back to a young girl with all

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Speaker 1: of those changes that are hitting you from all over

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Speaker 1: the place. You lose a friend to suicide. And I

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Speaker 1: just can't even imagine maybe the incongruence going on within you.

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Speaker 1: Take us into just the moment, the darkness. How difficult,

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Speaker 1: how low of a place did it get?

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Speaker 3: The first time that I experienced suicidal ideation was when

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Speaker 3: I was 17. And what was really difficult is, you know,

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Speaker 3: when we moved back to the States, when I turned 17,

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Speaker 3: moved back to the States, my mom got a divorce

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Speaker 3: from that marriage. My siblings were really struggling. First of all,

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Speaker 3: my brother was only like two at the time. I

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Speaker 3: have two younger sisters as well, and I'm Sophia's three

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Speaker 3: years younger than me and then Sienna's three years younger

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Speaker 3: than her so six years between us and my sister

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Speaker 3: ended up like struggling on her own and ended up

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Speaker 3: in a treatment facility for what it looked like attempting

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Speaker 3: and so it was just like a lot going on

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Speaker 3: so I felt like I couldn't tell anybody and because

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Speaker 3: you know my sister's struggles were manifesting more outwardly than

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Speaker 3: mine were, you know, with rebellion, alcohol, that, and then

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Speaker 3: ending up in treatment. I didn't tell anyone. Um, and

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Speaker 3: I remember there just being one day where I really

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Speaker 3: was contemplating like taking my life and, and, um, I

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Speaker 3: ended up having a conversation with my mom and it

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Speaker 3: was about my, my sister, but then I ended up

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Speaker 3: telling her like, I'm really struggling, you know? And, um,

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Speaker 3: Through that, everybody was just hurting so much and kind

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Speaker 3: of everybody was in survival mode. It was kind of

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Speaker 3: just like everybody for themselves. My mom's just trying to

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Speaker 3: keep the family afloat and deal with her own stuff

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Speaker 3: from what she went through. So then when I went

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Speaker 3: to a university for a semester for music business, but

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Speaker 3: couldn't pay for it. My family did not want to

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Speaker 3: co-sign loans because they were like, we don't want you

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Speaker 3: to be in debt. We don't want to take on

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Speaker 3: the debt. So I got there on scholarships, financial aid,

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Speaker 3: but there was still a part that I owed and

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Speaker 3: couldn't pay for. So I ended up dropping out and

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Speaker 3: then going to a school of ministry that I'd heard

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Speaker 3: about from an old childhood friend of my mom's. His

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Speaker 3: name's Dustin Smith. He's a songwriter, and now he pastors

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Speaker 3: a church here in Tennessee. But They grew up together.

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Speaker 3: He told me he was starting a school, but I

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Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to college, so thanks, but no thanks.

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Speaker 3: And then I ended up there, and that's where I

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Speaker 3: encountered the presence of God the most intensely that I

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Speaker 3: had in my life. I had a little bit growing up,

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Speaker 3: but that changed my life and didn't really start struggling

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Speaker 3: again until my mid-20s. And then two years ago is

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Speaker 3: when I've almost attempted twice in the last two years.

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Speaker 3: So it doesn't seem like that long ago, but also

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Speaker 3: I feel like a completely different person now. So it

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Speaker 3: also is kind of like I can't believe that was

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Speaker 3: real life. And so that's how bad it got. And

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Speaker 3: there's a whole lot there too. But the first time

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Speaker 3: I experienced it was 17 during that time.

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Speaker 2: Bailey, those who know you know that you– are open

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Speaker 2: to sharing this journey piece because you want people to

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Speaker 2: understand what it's like to be in that kind of darkness.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: And this has been a battle for you. So what

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Speaker 2: is it, and I know you've spent a lot of

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Speaker 2: time thinking about it, and by the way, God's brought

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Speaker 2: some real light into the dark. And we're going to

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Speaker 2: talk a lot about that in a moment. But what

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Speaker 2: is it that you think felt like kept pulling you under?

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Speaker 2: It was like this current or this riptide that was

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Speaker 2: pulling you out into the sea. And you're fighting against

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Speaker 2: that current, you know what I'm saying? And it's like exhausting.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know, was it because you felt alone?

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Speaker 2: You didn't have any? aspirations that there wasn't anybody to

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Speaker 2: fall back onto? What was going on inside?

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Speaker 3: Yes. I think it's hard. I mean, I grew up

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Speaker 3: singing in church. You know, when my mom realized that

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Speaker 3: I could sing, it was like church, county fair auditions,

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Speaker 3: talent shows, all kinds of stuff.

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Speaker 2: I mean, your countenance changes when you're talking to us.

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Speaker 2: Every time you talk about singing, seriously. Isn't it true?

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Speaker 2: Isn't it true? There's a spark there, but something was

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Speaker 2: happening that was erasing that or something.

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Speaker 3: And so it felt like if I wasn't doing that,

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Speaker 3: did people really care about me? It's like if I

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Speaker 3: wasn't singing, if I wasn't writing songs.

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Speaker 2: If you weren't dancing, if you weren't on stage, if

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Speaker 2: you weren't performing, etc.

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Speaker 3: Yes. And so it was like, okay, you know, and

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Speaker 3: then I think the hardest part was when I moved

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Speaker 3: to Nashville. I've been here for eight years. On paper,

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Speaker 3: to my family and everything, it looked like I was

396
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Speaker 3: doing really well. I got on a worship team that

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Speaker 3: was signed with a label, and we were touring, and

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Speaker 3: then labels were looking at my songs. And it just

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Speaker 3: looked like on paper that I was living my dream,

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Speaker 3: so everybody didn't– I don't think people really started– wanted

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Speaker 3: to ask how I was doing. They just assumed I

402
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Speaker 3: was doing really well. And I just, I constantly was

403
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Speaker 3: feeling like if I didn't do any of these things,

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Speaker 3: would people still care about me as a person? And

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Speaker 3: that was just such a battle because then I would

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Speaker 3: end up like alone at some points. And when I

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Speaker 3: was just by myself and it felt like nobody checked

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Speaker 3: on me unless they needed something from me. And that

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Speaker 3: I think is one of the things that like constantly

410
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Speaker 3: was pulling at me. my family constantly leaning on me

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Speaker 3: to pray for my siblings. My siblings still were just

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Speaker 3: going through so much while I was encountering God in

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Speaker 3: school of ministry and all of that. So then it's like,

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Speaker 3: but the responsibility to carry the weight of what my

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Speaker 3: siblings were going through was continuously put on me. And honestly,

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Speaker 3: I don't know. It's like my mom didn't know any

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Speaker 3: better and I'm the one believer out of my siblings.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, we need you to pray. But it's

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Speaker 3: like the weight of like, don't you want to know

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Speaker 3: how I'm doing? Or who's praying for me? Honestly. And

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Speaker 3: so that just always sat there. I did wonder about

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Speaker 3: my biological father a lot. And then a big thing,

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Speaker 3: I lost my dad to alcoholism seven years ago. So

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Speaker 3: he passed away. So that was a huge thing, and

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Speaker 3: we were kind of estranged at that point. So I

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Speaker 3: lost him and couldn't do anything about that.

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Speaker 2: You know, Bailey, as I'm listening to you, I just

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Speaker 2: keep thinking, I don't think a lot of people really

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Speaker 2: understand that childhood journey and feeling lost, disconnected, of feeling unloved,

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Speaker 2: whether it's real or perceived. And then what it's like

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Speaker 2: just to lie awake at night by yourself Yeah. And

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Speaker 2: just stare at the ceiling. Yes. Or to wander around

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Speaker 2: through the day, maybe in a classroom or in a

434
00:24:06,308 --> 00:24:09,508
Speaker 2: gym class or even maybe at a church, you know,

435
00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:12,708
Speaker 2: and just think, who in the world am I?

436
00:24:12,948 --> 00:24:13,208
Speaker 3: Yeah.

437
00:24:13,728 --> 00:24:14,728
Speaker 2: And what's going on?

438
00:24:15,028 --> 00:24:15,268
Speaker 1: Right.

439
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,448
Speaker 3: There was so much of that. So much of that.

440
00:24:20,538 --> 00:24:23,078
Speaker 3: And I did carry a lot of heaviness for my family.

441
00:24:23,098 --> 00:24:24,038
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, I was.

442
00:24:24,948 --> 00:24:26,508
Speaker 3: I knew how to hear the voice of God, and

443
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,768
Speaker 3: I just wondered, like, God, how much pain does my

444
00:24:28,828 --> 00:24:33,408
Speaker 3: family have to go through? And I love my siblings, too.

445
00:24:33,448 --> 00:24:39,598
Speaker 3: Them struggling was really hard. But then, like, you're right.

446
00:24:39,618 --> 00:24:41,018
Speaker 3: At the end of the night, it's just me, and

447
00:24:41,058 --> 00:24:45,418
Speaker 3: I'm like, does anybody, like, really care about me? You know,

448
00:24:45,438 --> 00:24:50,578
Speaker 3: I'm having to take care of my siblings. And, yeah,

449
00:24:51,038 --> 00:24:52,898
Speaker 3: I don't think people really understand that.

450
00:24:53,478 --> 00:24:55,498
Speaker 2: You can get to a place, by the way, where,

451
00:24:55,798 --> 00:24:58,118
Speaker 2: and this is where you've got to be sensitive and

452
00:24:58,178 --> 00:25:04,248
Speaker 2: careful for people listening, that this stuff starts flooding. Maybe

453
00:25:04,288 --> 00:25:07,588
Speaker 2: that imagery of being swept up by a current, like

454
00:25:07,608 --> 00:25:09,408
Speaker 2: in the ocean. I just saw or read a story

455
00:25:09,448 --> 00:25:11,848
Speaker 2: about a man who just rescued a little boy down

456
00:25:11,888 --> 00:25:13,648
Speaker 2: on Myrtle Beach. You hear what I'm saying? Oh, yeah.

457
00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:16,528
Speaker 2: He's gone. He's gone. And that man, by the way,

458
00:25:16,628 --> 00:25:20,788
Speaker 2: drowned saving that boy. But think about how powerful those

459
00:25:20,848 --> 00:25:23,968
Speaker 2: rip currents are. And these rip currents in your life

460
00:25:24,048 --> 00:25:26,448
Speaker 2: are just sucking you under. You can't breathe.

461
00:25:27,338 --> 00:25:30,098
Speaker 1: The neural rutting, I think of rumination is a word

462
00:25:30,118 --> 00:25:32,058
Speaker 1: that we often unpack in the mental health space, which

463
00:25:32,118 --> 00:25:35,658
Speaker 1: is really the pathological obsession with our pain. Pain has

464
00:25:35,778 --> 00:25:38,508
Speaker 1: a way of narrowing your vision and To where it's

465
00:25:38,548 --> 00:25:41,228
Speaker 1: the only thing that you can really think about. And

466
00:25:41,268 --> 00:25:44,728
Speaker 1: then those thoughts may begin to create these neural ruts,

467
00:25:44,928 --> 00:25:47,628
Speaker 1: which they just don't go away. It's like they don't fade.

468
00:25:47,668 --> 00:25:50,388
Speaker 1: They just continue to flood the brain. And so what

469
00:25:50,408 --> 00:25:52,138
Speaker 1: I'm starting to think of is, as I hear you

470
00:25:52,638 --> 00:25:54,698
Speaker 1: talk a little bit, Bailey, is this idea that there's

471
00:25:54,818 --> 00:25:58,278
Speaker 1: so many people out there that are struggling in silence.

472
00:25:58,598 --> 00:26:01,538
Speaker 1: And we know this, that you can't find healing in hiding.

473
00:26:01,638 --> 00:26:06,238
Speaker 1: I think of the Cigna Research Survey. Over 20,000 participants

474
00:26:06,258 --> 00:26:09,708
Speaker 1: were involved there. And there was a stat that revealed 54%

475
00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:14,188
Speaker 1: of those 20,000 participants that were surveyed felt like nobody

476
00:26:14,388 --> 00:26:18,968
Speaker 1: actually knew them. 36% of those 20,000 participants believed that

477
00:26:19,018 --> 00:26:21,038
Speaker 1: they didn't have one person in their life that they

478
00:26:21,058 --> 00:26:23,018
Speaker 1: could turn to in a time of need. So you

479
00:26:23,038 --> 00:26:25,998
Speaker 1: start to think about what, there's a reason why people

480
00:26:27,138 --> 00:26:31,538
Speaker 1: stay silent and which then creates them to staying stuck.

481
00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,478
Speaker 1: And I'm just thinking about your story. There's people I

482
00:26:33,518 --> 00:26:35,667
Speaker 1: wrote down, whether it's shame.

483
00:26:36,248 --> 00:26:36,388
Speaker 2: Yeah.

484
00:26:36,738 --> 00:26:40,318
Speaker 1: Feeling like they shouldn't be struggling, whether it's they're maybe

485
00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:43,198
Speaker 1: dismissing their pain, they're overlooking their pain. People have it

486
00:26:43,238 --> 00:26:45,598
Speaker 1: worse than I do, right? I hear that all the time.

487
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:48,568
Speaker 1: It could always be worse, Zach. Or how about just

488
00:26:48,658 --> 00:26:52,428
Speaker 1: the feeling of being a burden? My mom's already struggling.

489
00:26:52,948 --> 00:26:55,848
Speaker 1: My siblings are already struggling. So therefore, I have to

490
00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,368
Speaker 1: be the strong one. What is it in people, Bailey,

491
00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:03,168
Speaker 1: that you think creates this silence? And why don't they

492
00:27:03,308 --> 00:27:03,928
Speaker 1: ask for help?

493
00:27:05,248 --> 00:27:07,088
Speaker 3: I think the being a burden is a big one.

494
00:27:08,568 --> 00:27:15,318
Speaker 3: They don't want to inconvenience people. Maybe they're dismissive. It's

495
00:27:15,338 --> 00:27:17,418
Speaker 3: not that big of a deal. So they just continue

496
00:27:17,438 --> 00:27:21,738
Speaker 3: to shove it down. I also think the fear of rejection.

497
00:27:23,498 --> 00:27:26,078
Speaker 3: You know, what happens when you ask for help? Like,

498
00:27:26,438 --> 00:27:29,218
Speaker 3: will people think differently of me? I think I really

499
00:27:29,258 --> 00:27:33,678
Speaker 3: struggled with that. I was a worship leader, so... started

500
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:36,748
Speaker 3: preaching the gospel at the church I was attending. It's

501
00:27:36,808 --> 00:27:39,248
Speaker 3: like people were coming to me for prayer, you know?

502
00:27:39,288 --> 00:27:41,568
Speaker 3: So it's like, I felt like I couldn't be the

503
00:27:41,728 --> 00:27:44,588
Speaker 3: one or, well, what if people don't come to me

504
00:27:44,648 --> 00:27:46,188
Speaker 3: for prayer anymore? They don't think of me as a

505
00:27:46,228 --> 00:27:49,488
Speaker 3: leader anymore because I'm struggling, you know? And so I

506
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,488
Speaker 3: think those are two big ones, rejection and then people

507
00:27:52,528 --> 00:27:58,228
Speaker 3: thinking or perceiving you differently, you know? So for me,

508
00:27:58,268 --> 00:28:02,288
Speaker 3: those were two big ones. I don't, I think there's

509
00:28:02,328 --> 00:28:04,168
Speaker 3: this like fear of like, yeah, they don't know what's

510
00:28:04,188 --> 00:28:05,948
Speaker 3: going to happen when they ask for help. And I

511
00:28:05,998 --> 00:28:09,378
Speaker 3: think the unknown of that can kind of keep people

512
00:28:09,738 --> 00:28:10,918
Speaker 3: from saying anything. Yeah.

513
00:28:11,238 --> 00:28:11,418
Speaker 2: Yeah.

514
00:28:11,458 --> 00:28:12,998
Speaker 3: They don't know what the outcome is going to be.

515
00:28:13,018 --> 00:28:16,098
Speaker 1: Yeah. Speak to your A's model just for a moment,

516
00:28:16,118 --> 00:28:18,967
Speaker 1: like how people can go from. whether it's just the

517
00:28:19,028 --> 00:28:21,528
Speaker 1: challenges of life, the assaults of life, all the way

518
00:28:21,588 --> 00:28:24,328
Speaker 1: down to believing the accuser's lies, if you would. There's

519
00:28:24,348 --> 00:28:28,268
Speaker 1: this progression that's easy to spiral out of control with,

520
00:28:28,308 --> 00:28:29,308
Speaker 1: you know that? Yeah.

521
00:28:29,488 --> 00:28:35,708
Speaker 2: Where you get assaulted by, pounded by whatever issues in life. Yeah.

522
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:38,568
Speaker 2: And they start getting compounded. And then you get angry

523
00:28:38,748 --> 00:28:41,518
Speaker 2: and or anxious because life's not the way it's supposed

524
00:28:41,558 --> 00:28:43,858
Speaker 2: to be. If you can't get it under control, next

525
00:28:43,878 --> 00:28:48,228
Speaker 2: thing you know, you're starting to, quote, And you find

526
00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:51,868
Speaker 2: yourself in a phase of aloneness rather than connectedness. We're

527
00:28:51,908 --> 00:28:55,548
Speaker 2: wired for relationships, but hell loves to get us alone.

528
00:28:56,288 --> 00:28:58,098
Speaker 2: And then when we get alone, we start feeling like

529
00:28:58,128 --> 00:29:00,158
Speaker 2: people are against us. We have to be really careful,

530
00:29:00,678 --> 00:29:03,998
Speaker 2: like this spirit of alienation. And what happens is we

531
00:29:04,018 --> 00:29:06,298
Speaker 2: get lost in our own pain. And all we talk

532
00:29:06,318 --> 00:29:08,418
Speaker 2: about and think about is our own pain. And people

533
00:29:08,478 --> 00:29:11,238
Speaker 2: think we're focused on all we care about is ourselves. Well,

534
00:29:11,258 --> 00:29:13,518
Speaker 2: the truth is we're dying inside and we're trying to

535
00:29:13,538 --> 00:29:16,428
Speaker 2: get people to help us. And the next thing you know, we're, quote,

536
00:29:16,568 --> 00:29:19,848
Speaker 2: reached for anything to begin to medicate the brokenness. And

537
00:29:19,868 --> 00:29:22,298
Speaker 2: then we get caught up in addictions to fill the

538
00:29:22,398 --> 00:29:25,078
Speaker 2: emptiness that God wants to fill in our life. And

539
00:29:25,118 --> 00:29:25,798
Speaker 2: it's chaos.

540
00:29:25,858 --> 00:29:26,198
Speaker 1: Yes.

541
00:29:26,658 --> 00:29:27,638
Speaker 2: It's absolute chaos.

542
00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:27,978
Speaker 1: Yes.

543
00:29:28,198 --> 00:29:30,598
Speaker 2: There's a but God piece here people are waiting for.

544
00:29:30,618 --> 00:29:37,708
Speaker 2: I want to shift our conversation. Bailey, somewhere, I think

545
00:29:37,748 --> 00:29:40,128
Speaker 2: of Psalm 121 verses 1 and 2, I lift my

546
00:29:40,208 --> 00:29:40,988
Speaker 2: eyes to the mountain.

547
00:29:41,368 --> 00:29:41,608
Speaker 3: Yeah.

548
00:29:41,668 --> 00:29:42,808
Speaker 2: Where does my hope come from?

549
00:29:42,828 --> 00:29:42,898
Speaker 1: Yes.

550
00:29:43,188 --> 00:29:43,388
Speaker 3: Yes.

551
00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:45,608
Speaker 2: My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven

552
00:29:45,648 --> 00:29:48,368
Speaker 2: and earth. Somewhere, and by the way, this narrative, it's

553
00:29:48,388 --> 00:29:52,388
Speaker 2: like young Timothy, since you were a child, you have

554
00:29:52,428 --> 00:29:55,268
Speaker 2: known the Holy Scripture. Somewhere a seed was sown deep.

555
00:29:55,728 --> 00:30:00,858
Speaker 2: Somewhere something happened. Somewhere God came alive. Somewhere that God,

556
00:30:00,918 --> 00:30:04,638
Speaker 2: the maker of heaven and earth, became real to you.

557
00:30:05,258 --> 00:30:08,718
Speaker 2: And hope began to flood into your heart. You thought

558
00:30:08,738 --> 00:30:10,038
Speaker 2: you had lost perspective.

559
00:30:10,598 --> 00:30:10,918
Speaker 3: Somewhere.

560
00:30:11,048 --> 00:30:13,528
Speaker 2: a perspective shift happened for you.

561
00:30:13,788 --> 00:30:14,108
Speaker 3: Yeah.

562
00:30:14,868 --> 00:30:17,798
Speaker 2: Tell us. Take us into that place. When did it happen?

563
00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:22,558
Speaker 2: Was it over time? Was it a moment? Was this somebody, something,

564
00:30:22,638 --> 00:30:25,078
Speaker 2: what exploded it in your life?

565
00:30:25,758 --> 00:30:28,478
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, when I was 19 and I encountered

566
00:30:28,518 --> 00:30:32,978
Speaker 3: God in like just... over and over and over tangibly

567
00:30:34,118 --> 00:30:36,778
Speaker 3: was when I didn't know that experiencing God and living

568
00:30:36,818 --> 00:30:38,718
Speaker 3: with God could be that way, right? It could be

569
00:30:38,818 --> 00:30:41,998
Speaker 3: so full of life and joy. You know, when Jesus says,

570
00:30:42,038 --> 00:30:44,298
Speaker 3: I've come to give life and live it abundantly, I

571
00:30:44,758 --> 00:30:47,058
Speaker 3: was like, well, I grew up in church, but I

572
00:30:47,098 --> 00:30:50,198
Speaker 3: don't think I've been living an abundant life. And I

573
00:30:50,238 --> 00:30:53,098
Speaker 3: realized there was something available to me that I wasn't accessing,

574
00:30:53,138 --> 00:30:54,658
Speaker 3: and that wasn't on God. It was just I didn't

575
00:30:54,678 --> 00:30:59,118
Speaker 3: know it was available. But over the last few years, obviously, like,

576
00:30:59,798 --> 00:31:02,938
Speaker 3: I'm almost 32 at this point. So in my late 20s,

577
00:31:02,978 --> 00:31:06,868
Speaker 3: I'm thinking like, I know God has a plan for

578
00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:09,188
Speaker 3: my life. I know that he's good and kind. I

579
00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:12,188
Speaker 3: know that he's available, but I'm in so much pain.

580
00:31:13,108 --> 00:31:17,428
Speaker 3: And one of those things, you know, was I started

581
00:31:17,468 --> 00:31:21,688
Speaker 3: to live my dream. I got signed to the biggest

582
00:31:21,728 --> 00:31:25,528
Speaker 3: Christian label in the world as the first female producer.

583
00:31:25,548 --> 00:31:30,458
Speaker 3: I was writing with all of my heroes. Then my

584
00:31:30,578 --> 00:31:33,438
Speaker 3: artistry started to become more visible, and then I was traveling,

585
00:31:33,498 --> 00:31:38,198
Speaker 3: and I got a manager and all this stuff. But

586
00:31:38,518 --> 00:31:40,178
Speaker 3: in order to do that, I had to leave the

587
00:31:40,218 --> 00:31:42,498
Speaker 3: church that I was on staff at. That was hard.

588
00:31:42,518 --> 00:31:46,108
Speaker 3: So there was grief, losing my friends, being now in

589
00:31:46,118 --> 00:31:49,708
Speaker 3: the industry. Went from three streams of income to just

590
00:31:49,748 --> 00:31:52,948
Speaker 3: an advance for being a songwriter, which didn't even pay

591
00:31:52,968 --> 00:31:56,588
Speaker 3: my rent. So I have the anxiety of paying my bills.

592
00:31:57,208 --> 00:32:00,468
Speaker 3: Being in the industry, grieving, leaving my friends, my church,

593
00:32:00,548 --> 00:32:04,388
Speaker 3: what's comfortable, trying to make new friends, but not like, well,

594
00:32:04,428 --> 00:32:06,328
Speaker 3: God keeps moving me. I've moved every three to four

595
00:32:06,368 --> 00:32:08,858
Speaker 3: years my whole life. So if that happens again, I

596
00:32:09,258 --> 00:32:12,978
Speaker 3: can't handle this again. So I started isolating. And God

597
00:32:13,058 --> 00:32:15,118
Speaker 3: took me through. When I look back at it now,

598
00:32:18,398 --> 00:32:22,638
Speaker 3: I realize that the process is just as much of

599
00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:27,778
Speaker 3: a miracle as an instantaneous touch. But people don't like

600
00:32:27,818 --> 00:32:31,258
Speaker 3: to talk about that, especially in a little bit more

601
00:32:31,278 --> 00:32:33,798
Speaker 3: of a charismatic world where it's like a touch from

602
00:32:33,838 --> 00:32:37,498
Speaker 3: God is everything, but it's like the process of God

603
00:32:37,578 --> 00:32:38,178
Speaker 3: walking with us.

604
00:32:38,178 --> 00:32:40,358
Speaker 2: There was like this awakening that was happening.

605
00:32:41,038 --> 00:32:45,578
Speaker 3: The awareness of a Psalm 23 God, the awareness of

606
00:32:45,698 --> 00:32:50,598
Speaker 3: the Good Shepherd is a huge thing that kept me.

607
00:32:51,238 --> 00:32:55,168
Speaker 3: And then also... This revelation that God was giving me

608
00:32:55,448 --> 00:32:57,688
Speaker 3: over weeks and months and months of the wounds of

609
00:32:57,748 --> 00:33:03,688
Speaker 3: Jesus is what kept me alive, thinking about what Jesus

610
00:33:03,768 --> 00:33:07,728
Speaker 3: went through, even leading up to the cross. And there's

611
00:33:07,758 --> 00:33:10,338
Speaker 3: a story that I heard that changed everything for me

612
00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:13,158
Speaker 3: and is what kept me alive during this time. We

613
00:33:13,178 --> 00:33:15,778
Speaker 3: had a guest speaker at church. This is my favorite

614
00:33:15,798 --> 00:33:19,358
Speaker 3: story to tell because I feel like as many people

615
00:33:19,398 --> 00:33:22,368
Speaker 3: as possible need to hear this. He talked about, it

616
00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:26,078
Speaker 3: was a sermon that he had called My Heart Hurts.

617
00:33:26,778 --> 00:33:29,618
Speaker 3: He now turned it into a book. Andrew Damasio, incredible

618
00:33:30,278 --> 00:33:34,018
Speaker 3: speaker and pastor. And I had just said that to

619
00:33:34,058 --> 00:33:35,778
Speaker 3: a friend of mine weeks before that. So when it

620
00:33:35,818 --> 00:33:38,458
Speaker 3: came up on the screen, I was like, whoa. I

621
00:33:38,958 --> 00:33:43,778
Speaker 3: was like, God is real. And he talked about Jesus

622
00:33:43,818 --> 00:33:45,838
Speaker 3: in the Garden of Gethsemane, but not the part you

623
00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:49,498
Speaker 3: would think. It's before he's praying where he says to

624
00:33:49,898 --> 00:33:53,318
Speaker 3: three of his disciples, my soul is crushed to the

625
00:33:53,358 --> 00:33:57,888
Speaker 3: point of death. I'm in despair and distress. And he says,

626
00:33:58,008 --> 00:34:00,748
Speaker 3: where along the way following Jesus did we lose our

627
00:34:00,808 --> 00:34:03,468
Speaker 3: humanity where we felt like we couldn't tell people when

628
00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:07,988
Speaker 3: we were struggling? When Jesus, the son of God, fully human,

629
00:34:08,087 --> 00:34:11,547
Speaker 3: says to his three closest friends, my soul is crushed.

630
00:34:12,087 --> 00:34:17,278
Speaker 3: I'm in pain. I'm in despair. I'm depressed. And he

631
00:34:17,317 --> 00:34:21,318
Speaker 3: was like, this is Christian accountability. When you tell on yourself,

632
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:25,258
Speaker 3: Jesus didn't wait for the three disciples to say, Jesus,

633
00:34:25,297 --> 00:34:27,837
Speaker 3: are you okay? You look like you're sweating. You look

634
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,038
Speaker 3: a little stressed. It's like Jesus told on himself when

635
00:34:30,058 --> 00:34:35,018
Speaker 3: he wasn't doing well. And he is our example that

636
00:34:35,158 --> 00:34:39,127
Speaker 3: we are able to do that. And then he said, Gethsemane,

637
00:34:40,047 --> 00:34:42,348
Speaker 3: which translates to oil pressing because they were in an

638
00:34:42,388 --> 00:34:45,488
Speaker 3: olive garden. He said, some of you have been in

639
00:34:45,527 --> 00:34:47,727
Speaker 3: your own garden of Gethsemane, but I want to tell

640
00:34:47,768 --> 00:34:50,508
Speaker 3: you that. because you went through it, when you make

641
00:34:50,527 --> 00:34:53,768
Speaker 3: your way out, you're going to leave with oil. And,

642
00:34:53,788 --> 00:34:56,037
Speaker 3: you know, which we know represents the spirit of God,

643
00:34:56,078 --> 00:34:58,758
Speaker 3: the presence of God, this crushing that, that leads to

644
00:34:58,797 --> 00:35:01,957
Speaker 3: that place. And I wrote that down and I ended

645
00:35:02,018 --> 00:35:04,258
Speaker 3: up becoming a song of mine. That's the opening song

646
00:35:04,297 --> 00:35:09,618
Speaker 3: on my album. And that sermon kept me alive because

647
00:35:09,658 --> 00:35:12,328
Speaker 3: I realized I didn't need to be ashamed for struggling.

648
00:35:12,397 --> 00:35:15,647
Speaker 3: It also led me to telling a couple of people, um,

649
00:35:16,527 --> 00:35:18,167
Speaker 3: My friends had to call the police on me at

650
00:35:18,268 --> 00:35:21,427
Speaker 3: one point for a wellness check. I ended up going

651
00:35:21,468 --> 00:35:24,408
Speaker 3: to eight weeks of outpatient treatment. That helped me get

652
00:35:24,448 --> 00:35:26,948
Speaker 3: a little bit more on my feet. That was really hard, though,

653
00:35:26,988 --> 00:35:31,408
Speaker 3: because I was so ashamed. I was so nervous to

654
00:35:31,428 --> 00:35:33,518
Speaker 3: do group therapy. I didn't know what was going to happen.

655
00:35:33,538 --> 00:35:35,017
Speaker 3: And I was like, how is a group of people

656
00:35:35,098 --> 00:35:37,997
Speaker 3: talking about their issues going to help at all?

657
00:35:38,018 --> 00:35:40,598
Speaker 2: It's amazing with therapy. Oh, my gosh.

658
00:35:40,758 --> 00:35:43,457
Speaker 3: It was one of my favorite parts of treatment. It

659
00:35:43,477 --> 00:35:46,958
Speaker 3: was incredible. So it was just this process. It took

660
00:35:46,998 --> 00:35:51,187
Speaker 3: about a year. The Lord also removed friendships from my life.

661
00:35:51,748 --> 00:35:55,527
Speaker 3: It helped me realize I'm unhealthy. I didn't know about

662
00:35:55,587 --> 00:36:00,667
Speaker 3: attachment theory. My unhealthy attachment ruined a couple of relationships

663
00:36:00,768 --> 00:36:07,698
Speaker 3: of mine during that time. So painful. So painful. But

664
00:36:08,618 --> 00:36:12,638
Speaker 3: through this process, I got out of the hospital. My

665
00:36:12,678 --> 00:36:15,607
Speaker 3: grandma came and lived with me for three weeks. Um,

666
00:36:16,087 --> 00:36:20,547
Speaker 3: that was last February. Friendships fell apart. Then I moved

667
00:36:20,587 --> 00:36:22,708
Speaker 3: out of the apartment where I'd almost taken my wife.

668
00:36:23,187 --> 00:36:26,128
Speaker 3: So that was like this new start. Um, I had

669
00:36:26,167 --> 00:36:28,098
Speaker 3: a dog and I rehomed him as a part of

670
00:36:28,118 --> 00:36:30,777
Speaker 3: my recovery because I could barely take care of myself.

671
00:36:31,698 --> 00:36:35,577
Speaker 3: That was really hard. But the Lord was so with

672
00:36:35,658 --> 00:36:41,628
Speaker 3: me in the grief of that. And it was so hard.

673
00:36:41,928 --> 00:36:44,377
Speaker 3: It would have been so much easier to quit. it

674
00:36:44,397 --> 00:36:49,158
Speaker 3: would have been so much easier to give up. Staying,

675
00:36:50,837 --> 00:36:55,547
Speaker 3: there was so much work that I had to do

676
00:36:55,567 --> 00:36:59,408
Speaker 3: to decide to stay. And when I think about it now,

677
00:37:00,527 --> 00:37:02,968
Speaker 3: people could say, they're like, oh, it's so brave, you know,

678
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:04,747
Speaker 3: to talk about it. So, so brave to say. And

679
00:37:04,768 --> 00:37:07,267
Speaker 3: I didn't realize it until literally I was talking about

680
00:37:07,328 --> 00:37:09,668
Speaker 3: it last week on a Bible study. And when I

681
00:37:09,768 --> 00:37:13,147
Speaker 3: think about All of the work that I did, all

682
00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:15,567
Speaker 3: of the things that I allowed the Lord to take,

683
00:37:16,527 --> 00:37:22,118
Speaker 3: you know, my dog, some friendships, like, and continuing to

684
00:37:22,218 --> 00:37:25,718
Speaker 3: show up, continuing to go to church and decide I'm

685
00:37:25,738 --> 00:37:27,037
Speaker 3: going to go to a small group. I'm going to

686
00:37:27,058 --> 00:37:29,377
Speaker 3: let people in. I'm going to plant myself in my community.

687
00:37:29,977 --> 00:37:34,477
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of all the work that I did

688
00:37:34,538 --> 00:37:36,978
Speaker 3: because it was so hard and it was so painful.

689
00:37:37,957 --> 00:37:42,517
Speaker 3: But the Lord is so faithful. to truly bring you

690
00:37:42,618 --> 00:37:44,658
Speaker 3: through the valley of the shadow of death. I really

691
00:37:44,718 --> 00:37:46,718
Speaker 3: thought I was going to die in the valley. I

692
00:37:46,758 --> 00:37:50,638
Speaker 3: really did. And because I just continued to say yes

693
00:37:50,738 --> 00:37:54,078
Speaker 3: to Jesus day after day, he led me through it,

694
00:37:55,377 --> 00:37:59,308
Speaker 3: through all of the painful things. And I'm so glad

695
00:38:00,127 --> 00:38:04,887
Speaker 3: that I experienced that nature and character of God because

696
00:38:04,968 --> 00:38:07,587
Speaker 3: I know him in such a more intimate, beautiful way

697
00:38:07,647 --> 00:38:11,198
Speaker 3: now than I ever did. You know, like... In order

698
00:38:11,238 --> 00:38:13,917
Speaker 3: to know God as a healer, you have to be

699
00:38:13,937 --> 00:38:17,557
Speaker 3: in a position where you need healing. And so many

700
00:38:17,618 --> 00:38:19,618
Speaker 3: people want to see miracles, but they don't want to

701
00:38:19,658 --> 00:38:21,977
Speaker 3: be in a position to need one. But you don't

702
00:38:22,038 --> 00:38:24,017
Speaker 3: know God is a miracle working God until you need

703
00:38:24,038 --> 00:38:27,297
Speaker 3: a miracle. So I'm really thankful now for all of

704
00:38:27,357 --> 00:38:29,178
Speaker 3: the things that he led me through and how close

705
00:38:29,218 --> 00:38:32,058
Speaker 3: he was and the process that he took me through

706
00:38:32,928 --> 00:38:35,968
Speaker 3: for the healing and so many encounters along the way.

707
00:38:35,988 --> 00:38:39,647
Speaker 3: I thought that after one night at a worship night,

708
00:38:40,518 --> 00:38:42,297
Speaker 3: And I feel amazing. And then the next day I

709
00:38:42,518 --> 00:38:45,598
Speaker 3: wake up still struggling with depression. It's like, oh, I

710
00:38:45,638 --> 00:38:48,437
Speaker 3: guess that healing didn't happen. But the Lord revealed to

711
00:38:48,477 --> 00:38:52,587
Speaker 3: me that it's like there was healing happening every single time.

712
00:38:53,348 --> 00:38:54,707
Speaker 3: There was just layers of it.

713
00:38:54,868 --> 00:38:55,808
Speaker 2: And it's the process.

714
00:38:55,928 --> 00:38:56,248
Speaker 3: Yes.

715
00:38:56,448 --> 00:39:00,167
Speaker 1: What a powerful just unpacking of what God took you

716
00:39:00,187 --> 00:39:03,388
Speaker 1: through and what he revealed about himself today. in moments

717
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:06,348
Speaker 1: of powerlessness. Dad always reminded me growing up that it's

718
00:39:06,408 --> 00:39:09,027
Speaker 1: our moments of powerlessness that draw us closer to and

719
00:39:09,078 --> 00:39:11,608
Speaker 1: reveal the character of God's heart the most. And I

720
00:39:11,647 --> 00:39:14,058
Speaker 1: believe that wholeheartedly because I can even think back on

721
00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:17,758
Speaker 1: moments in my life where I was able to recognize

722
00:39:17,777 --> 00:39:20,758
Speaker 1: that he really is the good shepherd, the same God

723
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:22,857
Speaker 1: by still waters that he is in the valley of

724
00:39:22,897 --> 00:39:25,977
Speaker 1: the shadow of death. I think of the term ministry,

725
00:39:26,277 --> 00:39:28,138
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you've seen it on social

726
00:39:28,178 --> 00:39:30,878
Speaker 1: media or anything, but I saw a definition not long ago,

727
00:39:30,957 --> 00:39:34,568
Speaker 1: and it said, The best definition for ministry is others

728
00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:38,748
Speaker 1: benefiting from the oil of what came from what broke you.

729
00:39:39,558 --> 00:39:42,917
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's what you're living in now.

730
00:39:43,317 --> 00:39:46,417
Speaker 1: It was the pruning process. It wasn't just what were

731
00:39:46,457 --> 00:39:48,037
Speaker 1: you willing to do. It was what were you willing

732
00:39:48,078 --> 00:39:49,618
Speaker 1: to give up. That's what you were saying. You have

733
00:39:49,658 --> 00:39:51,397
Speaker 1: to grieve what you leave. In order to step into

734
00:39:51,437 --> 00:39:53,397
Speaker 1: something new, you have to let go of something old.

735
00:39:53,837 --> 00:39:56,238
Speaker 1: And as you did all of the work, you went

736
00:39:56,258 --> 00:40:00,218
Speaker 1: through this entire process. I'm just thinking of somebody out there, Bailey—

737
00:40:00,937 --> 00:40:03,868
Speaker 1: and I want to talk practically because I think we

738
00:40:03,908 --> 00:40:06,008
Speaker 1: can talk about having all the faith in the world,

739
00:40:06,488 --> 00:40:11,327
Speaker 1: but also dialing it down and recognizing that faith and

740
00:40:11,428 --> 00:40:15,687
Speaker 1: counseling and therapy and church and community and medication, like

741
00:40:15,908 --> 00:40:19,217
Speaker 1: all of these things can be strategies to follow. help

742
00:40:19,258 --> 00:40:22,537
Speaker 1: you find hope and healing again. It's not separate from

743
00:40:22,638 --> 00:40:25,357
Speaker 1: one another, right? It's not this secular priesthood that some

744
00:40:25,397 --> 00:40:28,457
Speaker 1: people viewed psychology as back in the day. No, this

745
00:40:28,558 --> 00:40:31,868
Speaker 1: is something that we can actually collaboratively help people in

746
00:40:31,888 --> 00:40:34,847
Speaker 1: the midst of their darkest hour and pain. Speak to

747
00:40:34,908 --> 00:40:38,167
Speaker 1: just how all of those different facets have been a

748
00:40:38,268 --> 00:40:39,668
Speaker 1: part of this healing journey.

749
00:40:39,908 --> 00:40:44,747
Speaker 3: Yeah. I tell people sometimes, you know, I'm like, if

750
00:40:44,788 --> 00:40:47,417
Speaker 3: you want to get fit and get healthy, lose weight

751
00:40:47,457 --> 00:40:49,768
Speaker 3: or whatever, you're not going to go into the prayer

752
00:40:49,808 --> 00:40:54,567
Speaker 3: closet and try to pray it off. Like it's not

753
00:40:54,587 --> 00:40:55,148
Speaker 3: going to work.

754
00:40:55,707 --> 00:40:57,087
Speaker 1: That is so true.

755
00:40:57,248 --> 00:40:58,247
Speaker 2: We got some things to do.

756
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:02,597
Speaker 3: It's like, you have to change the way that you eat.

757
00:41:02,658 --> 00:41:05,258
Speaker 3: You've got to add movement. You've got, there's, there's things

758
00:41:05,297 --> 00:41:07,457
Speaker 3: that you have to do. And I'm like, why do

759
00:41:07,498 --> 00:41:10,017
Speaker 3: we separate the spiritual and the practical so much that

760
00:41:10,118 --> 00:41:12,977
Speaker 3: I realized that a lot of practical things are spiritual,

761
00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:16,877
Speaker 3: you know? And, and so I'm like, okay, when I

762
00:41:17,038 --> 00:41:20,127
Speaker 3: asked the Lord, for help. You know, I'm on the

763
00:41:20,167 --> 00:41:24,347
Speaker 3: floor crying, God help me. You know, he sent, when

764
00:41:24,468 --> 00:41:27,207
Speaker 3: I realized that I needed on medication, I, you know,

765
00:41:27,587 --> 00:41:29,747
Speaker 3: did hymns for a little bit because I'm in the

766
00:41:29,788 --> 00:41:32,247
Speaker 3: music industry, do not have health insurance for one. I,

767
00:41:32,547 --> 00:41:34,448
Speaker 3: you know, I'm in a young adult. I didn't know

768
00:41:34,488 --> 00:41:37,408
Speaker 3: what to do, found that available. And I was like,

769
00:41:37,468 --> 00:41:38,707
Speaker 3: I don't know how I'm going to pay for that.

770
00:41:38,888 --> 00:41:41,727
Speaker 3: And then I can't remember how, but I ended up

771
00:41:41,808 --> 00:41:45,008
Speaker 3: getting the exact amount that I needed financially to pay

772
00:41:45,027 --> 00:41:47,728
Speaker 3: for that medication. And after I talked to a doctor

773
00:41:47,768 --> 00:41:49,888
Speaker 3: and I was like, I felt like that was God

774
00:41:50,167 --> 00:41:55,037
Speaker 3: providing a way for me to step into that. Same

775
00:41:55,078 --> 00:41:57,677
Speaker 3: thing with treatment. My friends were like, have you thought

776
00:41:57,718 --> 00:42:01,238
Speaker 3: about going to outpatient? And I was like, well, I mean,

777
00:42:01,297 --> 00:42:04,177
Speaker 3: I'd be open to it. But financially, like, I can't

778
00:42:04,218 --> 00:42:06,847
Speaker 3: afford that. A lot of people cannot afford that. So

779
00:42:06,908 --> 00:42:10,968
Speaker 3: they don't even count that as an option. And the Lord,

780
00:42:11,488 --> 00:42:13,847
Speaker 3: once again, within that week that I needed to go

781
00:42:13,868 --> 00:42:18,647
Speaker 3: to treatment, thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. And

782
00:42:19,018 --> 00:42:21,317
Speaker 3: I will say thank you to Music Cares for that

783
00:42:21,357 --> 00:42:25,097
Speaker 3: because they paid for me to go to treatment. And

784
00:42:26,118 --> 00:42:29,698
Speaker 3: so it's like before I went, I remember asking God,

785
00:42:29,758 --> 00:42:32,777
Speaker 3: is it really that serious? Can't I just keep going

786
00:42:32,817 --> 00:42:36,467
Speaker 3: to church and going to the worship nights and reading

787
00:42:36,508 --> 00:42:39,948
Speaker 3: my Bible? Is it really that bad? And it's like, okay,

788
00:42:40,408 --> 00:42:43,107
Speaker 3: here's $ 10, 000. Go to treatment. And he knows what you need.

789
00:42:48,008 --> 00:42:51,687
Speaker 3: And it doesn't matter then if there are people who

790
00:42:51,768 --> 00:42:55,347
Speaker 3: are saying, oh, well, where's your faith? Thankfully, I didn't

791
00:42:55,397 --> 00:42:58,897
Speaker 3: have people like that. I know that so many people do.

792
00:42:59,598 --> 00:43:02,877
Speaker 3: My pastors and my friends at church, my leadership, were

793
00:43:03,018 --> 00:43:07,758
Speaker 3: so supportive. And my pastor would say, people who are

794
00:43:07,837 --> 00:43:12,008
Speaker 3: suffering are not second-class citizens in the kingdom. The Bible

795
00:43:12,087 --> 00:43:16,567
Speaker 3: promises suffering. So it's like, but how do you suffer well?

796
00:43:17,647 --> 00:43:19,727
Speaker 3: And he was really honest with me, and he's been

797
00:43:19,788 --> 00:43:23,687
Speaker 3: open about his journey with mental health. And so that

798
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:27,457
Speaker 3: helped me a lot. I'm really thankful for all the

799
00:43:27,498 --> 00:43:32,577
Speaker 3: ways that God provided resources for me, community and medication.

800
00:43:32,698 --> 00:43:37,437
Speaker 3: And I will be honest, during treatment, I got a diagnosis.

801
00:43:38,038 --> 00:43:41,837
Speaker 3: That was really hard for me. That was really difficult

802
00:43:43,698 --> 00:43:49,017
Speaker 3: because I had a stigma around it. And I was like, no,

803
00:43:49,058 --> 00:43:52,198
Speaker 3: I don't. I was like, I don't have that. I'm like, no.

804
00:43:52,258 --> 00:43:58,698
Speaker 3: And then I was like, okay, well, let's try this medication.

805
00:43:58,777 --> 00:44:01,417
Speaker 3: If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If it does work,

806
00:44:01,917 --> 00:44:07,367
Speaker 3: it works. And I remember on day eight, I woke

807
00:44:07,468 --> 00:44:11,797
Speaker 3: up and I was like, whoa. Whoa. I feel great.

808
00:44:13,917 --> 00:44:15,997
Speaker 2: I feel awesome.

809
00:44:16,598 --> 00:44:20,118
Speaker 3: And then I was like, dang. And I had to

810
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:22,188
Speaker 3: wrestle with that. But I think the thing that the

811
00:44:22,207 --> 00:44:25,747
Speaker 3: Lord walked me through is it's just information. It doesn't

812
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:29,508
Speaker 3: mean anything about my value, my identity. It's not forever.

813
00:44:29,527 --> 00:44:33,828
Speaker 2: There's so many factors that feed into a healing journey.

814
00:44:34,448 --> 00:44:39,227
Speaker 2: It can be biological, neurological, and there's so many. other

815
00:44:39,598 --> 00:44:44,498
Speaker 2: related domains that every story, again, is unique to the person.

816
00:44:44,518 --> 00:44:44,957
Speaker 3: That's right.

817
00:44:45,218 --> 00:44:48,138
Speaker 2: Yeah. And so that healing journey becomes ubiquitous to that

818
00:44:48,198 --> 00:44:48,797
Speaker 2: person too.

819
00:44:49,158 --> 00:44:49,357
Speaker 3: Yeah.

820
00:44:49,498 --> 00:44:51,547
Speaker 2: And that's what's so beautiful here. But the great thing

821
00:44:51,667 --> 00:44:55,927
Speaker 2: is with what we now know in a people under

822
00:44:55,968 --> 00:44:59,127
Speaker 2: the guidance of the Holy Spirit and anchored in the

823
00:44:59,187 --> 00:45:03,347
Speaker 2: word of God will commit themselves to a journey. who

824
00:45:03,408 --> 00:45:05,727
Speaker 2: knows what God just might want to do.

825
00:45:05,928 --> 00:45:06,388
Speaker 1: Yes.

826
00:45:06,448 --> 00:45:06,907
Speaker 2: You know that?

827
00:45:07,067 --> 00:45:07,328
Speaker 1: Yes.

828
00:45:07,448 --> 00:45:09,027
Speaker 2: And then you're right. It takes work.

829
00:45:09,348 --> 00:45:09,567
Speaker 3: Yeah.

830
00:45:09,808 --> 00:45:11,488
Speaker 2: Bailey, I know we're fighting time. We got to get

831
00:45:11,508 --> 00:45:15,198
Speaker 2: you on a plane to Uganda. And so I, it's important.

832
00:45:15,357 --> 00:45:16,957
Speaker 2: And I wanted to say this, I'm going to shift

833
00:45:17,038 --> 00:45:18,957
Speaker 2: it to Zach. Cause I know, I know how he

834
00:45:18,977 --> 00:45:23,617
Speaker 2: wants to close this thing, but I'll never listen to

835
00:45:23,758 --> 00:45:27,718
Speaker 2: it gets better the same way anymore after listening to you.

836
00:45:27,998 --> 00:45:28,278
Speaker 1: Yeah.

837
00:45:28,578 --> 00:45:31,728
Speaker 2: And I think people are going to do the same thing. They,

838
00:45:32,218 --> 00:45:36,147
Speaker 2: dial into a story, a narrative, and it just kind

839
00:45:36,187 --> 00:45:40,408
Speaker 2: of resets it all over again. And now the words

840
00:45:40,788 --> 00:45:44,288
Speaker 2: go to a different place. They were beautiful, but boy,

841
00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:47,408
Speaker 2: they take you into a deeper place now. You know,

842
00:45:47,448 --> 00:45:51,418
Speaker 2: the Puritans called it the Valley of Vision. That in

843
00:45:51,518 --> 00:45:56,317
Speaker 2: those dark, deep places, if you somehow can learn that

844
00:45:56,357 --> 00:45:59,118
Speaker 2: it's not about the darkness, but it's really about the light.

845
00:45:59,277 --> 00:45:59,998
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow.

846
00:46:00,297 --> 00:46:01,377
Speaker 2: Boy, it's a game changer.

847
00:46:01,477 --> 00:46:05,617
Speaker 1: Wow. I have a couple of follow-up questions. My last

848
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:08,497
Speaker 1: two questions for you, Bailey. One of them is having

849
00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:11,758
Speaker 1: followed you on social media, something that I often see

850
00:46:11,777 --> 00:46:15,267
Speaker 1: you post a lot about is this song hits a

851
00:46:15,288 --> 00:46:19,427
Speaker 1: little different after being suicidal. And again, you don't shy

852
00:46:19,468 --> 00:46:22,547
Speaker 1: away from it, right? You own it. You own your journey,

853
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:25,587
Speaker 1: pieces of it. And we're all in this process of becoming,

854
00:46:26,008 --> 00:46:28,638
Speaker 1: but I'm just interested in the midst of all of

855
00:46:28,698 --> 00:46:31,078
Speaker 1: that pain, all of that hardship. I know that you

856
00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:34,198
Speaker 1: had this revelation that God really is the good shepherd.

857
00:46:34,707 --> 00:46:37,468
Speaker 1: What did it do to the way that you now

858
00:46:37,567 --> 00:46:42,188
Speaker 1: worship God? And how do you then help others worship

859
00:46:42,227 --> 00:46:43,228
Speaker 1: him in that same manner?

860
00:46:43,288 --> 00:46:43,527
Speaker 3: Yeah.

861
00:46:43,868 --> 00:46:44,128
Speaker 2: Wow.

862
00:46:46,127 --> 00:46:50,338
Speaker 3: Well, I've heard it said that it's like you only

863
00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:56,277
Speaker 3: worship so much based on your revelation of God, right?

864
00:46:56,897 --> 00:47:01,527
Speaker 3: The deeper the revelation, the worship is different. It's deeper. And,

865
00:47:02,408 --> 00:47:06,437
Speaker 3: you know, the lyrics of worship songs are so good sometimes,

866
00:47:06,498 --> 00:47:10,337
Speaker 3: but it's like when you lived it and then you

867
00:47:10,377 --> 00:47:14,358
Speaker 3: get to sing about it, it's like songs were songs

868
00:47:14,377 --> 00:47:16,817
Speaker 3: that carried me through the valley, but now they're also

869
00:47:16,877 --> 00:47:22,017
Speaker 3: like testimonies. And I love that about worship. You can

870
00:47:22,078 --> 00:47:24,638
Speaker 3: sing a song in it and it carries you, but

871
00:47:24,678 --> 00:47:26,758
Speaker 3: then you can sing it on the other side and

872
00:47:27,397 --> 00:47:31,277
Speaker 3: it's a different meaning. It's like a celebration song. And

873
00:47:31,998 --> 00:47:35,537
Speaker 3: so now when I'm singing, one of my favorites to

874
00:47:35,578 --> 00:47:38,477
Speaker 3: sing out on the road is Because He Lives. But

875
00:47:38,538 --> 00:47:41,357
Speaker 3: I don't sing it in a very slow, ballady way.

876
00:47:41,417 --> 00:47:46,448
Speaker 3: It's like, we're going to party. It's like, we're going

877
00:47:46,567 --> 00:47:51,247
Speaker 3: into it. And I just want people to realize the

878
00:47:51,348 --> 00:47:53,848
Speaker 3: one thing that as I'm like, okay, we overcome by

879
00:47:53,888 --> 00:47:55,807
Speaker 3: the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

880
00:47:56,428 --> 00:47:58,578
Speaker 3: So I want people to know if he did it

881
00:47:58,618 --> 00:48:00,807
Speaker 3: for me, that he can do it for them. And

882
00:48:00,948 --> 00:48:03,807
Speaker 3: oftentimes when I tell my testimony really quickly and then

883
00:48:03,828 --> 00:48:08,068
Speaker 3: go into a song, the room becomes way more engaged. Yes.

884
00:48:08,227 --> 00:48:08,527
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.

885
00:48:08,868 --> 00:48:12,368
Speaker 3: And they're like, okay, we're celebrating with you, but also, yeah,

886
00:48:12,567 --> 00:48:16,188
Speaker 3: I need God to be that for me. So that's

887
00:48:16,547 --> 00:48:18,707
Speaker 3: as vulnerable as I can be from the stage where

888
00:48:18,727 --> 00:48:21,827
Speaker 3: I'm just leading from that place. I don't even have

889
00:48:21,868 --> 00:48:24,408
Speaker 3: to say it. My testimony, because God is so kind

890
00:48:24,448 --> 00:48:30,058
Speaker 3: and so good, as I'm releasing... songs that I'm singing,

891
00:48:30,477 --> 00:48:34,477
Speaker 3: my testimony is going into the atmosphere. And that's on God,

892
00:48:34,518 --> 00:48:36,828
Speaker 3: not on me, but I'm grateful for it.

893
00:48:36,837 --> 00:48:39,508
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of the person out there today, Bailey, as

894
00:48:39,547 --> 00:48:43,387
Speaker 1: we wrap up our time together, who's struggling and they're

895
00:48:43,428 --> 00:48:48,127
Speaker 1: going through a season of suffering. They're incredibly discouraged. They're depressed.

896
00:48:48,667 --> 00:48:53,337
Speaker 1: They're depleted. They're just disappointed with the way that life

897
00:48:53,397 --> 00:48:56,458
Speaker 1: currently is. And something we know about suicide is that

898
00:48:56,477 --> 00:48:59,438
Speaker 1: it's not that people hate life. It's that people hate

899
00:48:59,518 --> 00:49:01,658
Speaker 1: life the way that it is. They don't even want

900
00:49:01,678 --> 00:49:03,937
Speaker 1: to end their life, but they want to desperately end

901
00:49:03,957 --> 00:49:08,057
Speaker 1: their pain, right? They're desperately reaching for relief. To the

902
00:49:08,098 --> 00:49:10,517
Speaker 1: person out there today in a season like that, I'm

903
00:49:10,538 --> 00:49:12,808
Speaker 1: just interested. I'm hearing the words of your song, It

904
00:49:12,928 --> 00:49:16,527
Speaker 1: Gets Better. What's one final word of hope, encouragement, and

905
00:49:16,547 --> 00:49:17,767
Speaker 1: motivation you want to leave with them?

906
00:49:20,348 --> 00:49:22,988
Speaker 3: That they're still in the middle of the story. Sometimes

907
00:49:23,027 --> 00:49:25,078
Speaker 3: it doesn't feel like it, but it's like you're in

908
00:49:25,098 --> 00:49:29,767
Speaker 3: the middle. And it truly, it does get better. And,

909
00:49:29,988 --> 00:49:34,948
Speaker 3: but also at the same time, it's like, I just

910
00:49:34,968 --> 00:49:37,767
Speaker 3: want to tell them to just cling to Jesus, that

911
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,307
Speaker 3: he's not on the other side. You know, I think

912
00:49:40,468 --> 00:49:42,378
Speaker 3: people kept saying that to me, you're going to get

913
00:49:42,397 --> 00:49:46,058
Speaker 3: to the other side. Then it just became this unattainable

914
00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:49,008
Speaker 3: place that I was going to get to one day.

915
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:52,087
Speaker 3: And Jesus is on the other side of it. And

916
00:49:52,127 --> 00:49:55,587
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, Jesus is in it with me. He's

917
00:49:55,667 --> 00:49:58,008
Speaker 3: weeping with me. He's holding me in it. And he's

918
00:49:58,087 --> 00:50:00,097
Speaker 3: walking me through it day by day. As I continue

919
00:50:00,107 --> 00:50:03,178
Speaker 3: to say yes, continue to say yes to the next day,

920
00:50:03,218 --> 00:50:07,917
Speaker 3: there really is new mercy available to me in that

921
00:50:08,058 --> 00:50:10,337
Speaker 3: morning for that day. So I would just tell them

922
00:50:10,377 --> 00:50:15,178
Speaker 3: to cling to Jesus with everything and that they're in

923
00:50:15,218 --> 00:50:17,797
Speaker 3: the middle of the story and it's not over yet.

924
00:50:18,797 --> 00:50:21,938
Speaker 1: It's not over yet. You're never out of the fight. Bailey,

925
00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:24,497
Speaker 1: our friend, we're so grateful for you. And again, just

926
00:50:24,538 --> 00:50:27,397
Speaker 1: your willingness to be so vulnerable and share your testimony

927
00:50:27,417 --> 00:50:28,457
Speaker 1: with us. I know you got to jump on a

928
00:50:28,457 --> 00:50:30,178
Speaker 1: plane to Uganda, but where can our audience go to

929
00:50:30,238 --> 00:50:31,777
Speaker 1: find out a little bit more about you? And I

930
00:50:31,817 --> 00:50:33,878
Speaker 1: know when you get back, by the way, you're opening

931
00:50:33,937 --> 00:50:35,977
Speaker 1: up for Danny Gokey. You've got a lot of things

932
00:50:36,038 --> 00:50:38,397
Speaker 1: coming down the pipeline. Just share just briefly some of

933
00:50:38,437 --> 00:50:38,897
Speaker 1: those things.

934
00:50:38,917 --> 00:50:42,537
Speaker 3: Yes, yes. It is really helpful when people follow me

935
00:50:42,578 --> 00:50:45,748
Speaker 3: on Instagram. I have TikTok as well, my YouTube channel. Obviously,

936
00:50:45,768 --> 00:50:47,707
Speaker 3: you can probably see my name is spelled a little

937
00:50:47,727 --> 00:50:51,888
Speaker 3: bit differently. It doesn't have an E in Bailey and Hager.

938
00:50:52,167 --> 00:50:54,107
Speaker 3: So if you follow me there, all my music is

939
00:50:54,167 --> 00:50:58,828
Speaker 3: on all streaming platforms. And on my Spotify and my website,

940
00:50:58,848 --> 00:51:01,218
Speaker 3: you can see where I'm going to be at when

941
00:51:01,238 --> 00:51:07,937
Speaker 3: I'm traveling. And so, yeah, streaming, my website, BaileyHager.com, Instagram,

942
00:51:08,018 --> 00:51:08,658
Speaker 3: all of the things.

943
00:51:08,877 --> 00:51:11,997
Speaker 1: I would encourage everybody– to make sure you follow Bailey

944
00:51:12,038 --> 00:51:15,348
Speaker 1: because she posts just some encouraging content that has moved

945
00:51:15,428 --> 00:51:18,327
Speaker 1: me in many ways, my friend, and just reminded me

946
00:51:18,848 --> 00:51:21,928
Speaker 1: that God is a God of restoration, of redemption, and

947
00:51:22,008 --> 00:51:24,728
Speaker 1: he is the great repurposer who can take broken things

948
00:51:24,808 --> 00:51:27,817
Speaker 1: and make them beautiful again. Bailey, our friend, thank you so.

949
00:51:27,738 --> 00:51:29,077
Speaker 3: Much for your time. Thank you for having me. Thank

950
00:51:29,118 --> 00:51:29,657
Speaker 3: you so much.

951
00:51:29,857 --> 00:51:32,198
Speaker 1: To our Built Different audience, just a thought that came

952
00:51:32,277 --> 00:51:34,667
Speaker 1: to my mind as we wrap up. is what if

953
00:51:34,727 --> 00:51:37,537
Speaker 1: the light wasn't reserved just for the end of the tunnel,

954
00:51:37,748 --> 00:51:39,997
Speaker 1: but what if you could actually access the light in

955
00:51:40,038 --> 00:51:43,218
Speaker 1: the middle of it today? With Jesus in the midst,

956
00:51:43,397 --> 00:51:44,897
Speaker 1: in the midst of the mess, in the midst of

957
00:51:44,937 --> 00:51:47,317
Speaker 1: the hardship, in the midst of the pain, hope is

958
00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:51,057
Speaker 1: always accessible and hope is always available to each and

959
00:51:51,158 --> 00:51:53,207
Speaker 1: every one of you. Make sure you cry out for

960
00:51:53,268 --> 00:51:57,488
Speaker 1: help because I promise you healing is possible. Thanks so

961
00:51:57,508 --> 00:51:59,047
Speaker 1: much for joining us. We love being a part of

962
00:51:59,067 --> 00:51:59,327
Speaker 1: your life.