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Speaker 1: Welcome to Christian Parent Crazy World, the podcast that tackles

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Speaker 1: tough topics to help you be a godly parent in

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Speaker 1: an ungodly world. I am your host, Catherine Seekers, and

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Speaker 1: in today's episode, we will answer this deeply concerning question,

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Speaker 1: how do we send our children into a secular university

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Speaker 1: without watching their faith unravel? Is that even possible? For

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Speaker 1: so many Christian parents? That question isn't theoretical, it's terrifyingly real.

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Speaker 1: We're living in a time when the youth exodus from

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Speaker 1: Christianity is reaching unprecedented levels. Research shows that nearly two

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Speaker 1: thirds of young adults raised in the church disengage from

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Speaker 1: their faith or from Christian community once they leave the home,

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Speaker 1: and the shift often happens quickly. The ideas, worldviews and

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Speaker 1: pressures our kids encounter on a college campus can feel overwhelming,

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Speaker 1: and many parents wonder did I do enough? Did I

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Speaker 1: prepare them? Will their faith withstand what's ahead? My guest

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Speaker 1: today understands this challenge on multiple levels. Doctor Stephen Hall

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Speaker 1: is a respected professor at Lee University, and he brings

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Speaker 1: a powerful personal perspective because his own daughter entered a

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Speaker 1: secular school and there her faith slipped away. He has

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Speaker 1: lived the heartache and has spent years considering the cultural, intellectual,

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Speaker 1: and spiritual forces that shape our kids once they leave

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Speaker 1: the nest. That's the ground we will cover in this

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Speaker 1: episode of Christian Parent Crazy World. So let's get started.

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Speaker 1: If you've been listening to CPCW for a while, you

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Speaker 1: know that our family has walked a prodigal road of

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Speaker 1: our own. And for us, it happened before our child

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Speaker 1: entered a secular university. It happened in a Christian homeschool community.

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Speaker 1: I thought we could prevent that outcome by taking on

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Speaker 1: all the heavy lifting of our kids' education ourselves.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, we couldn't. We've felt that ache,

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Speaker 2: that fear, that sense of watching a child you love

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Speaker 2: step into a world where their faith is suddenly questioned,

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Speaker 2: stretched and even stripped away. And for so many Christian parents,

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Speaker 2: that moment comes when our kids head off to college.

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Speaker 2: We spent eighteen years pouring truth into them, praying over them.

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Speaker 2: Then suddenly they are thrust into an environment where every

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Speaker 2: belief they hold is tested, not just intellectually, but socially, morally,

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Speaker 2: and emotionally. It's no wonder so many moms and dads

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Speaker 2: lie awake at night asking will my child's faith survive

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Speaker 2: what they are about to encounter? If that's you, today's

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Speaker 2: conversation speaks directly into that concern, and my guest understands

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Speaker 2: it more personally than most. Doctor Stephen Hall has been

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Speaker 2: a Church of God minister for nearly four decades. He

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Speaker 2: holds a bachelor's in Biblical studies from Lee University, a

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Speaker 2: master's in pastoral Counseling from Loyola University, and a doctorate

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Speaker 2: in Spiritual Formation from Ashland Theological Seminary. He currently serves

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Speaker 2: as an Associate Professor of Pastoral Ministry at Lee University,

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Speaker 2: and he and his wife, La Dawn also founded ministry Oasis,

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Speaker 2: a beautiful resource dedicated to the sole health of ministers.

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Speaker 2: But beyond all that, Doctor Hall brings something else to

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Speaker 2: this conversation. That is a father's heart. His own daughter

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Speaker 2: entered a secular school and lost her faith there. He

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Speaker 2: has lived this pain, he has wrestled with the questions,

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Speaker 2: and he has spent years considering the force says that

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Speaker 2: shape our children spiritually once they leave the home. This

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Speaker 2: is a conversation every Christian parent needs to hear. So

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Speaker 2: with that set, let's jump right in.

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Speaker 1: Steve, Welcome to Christian parent crazy world. It's so awesome

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Speaker 1: to have you here today.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm grateful to be here and thank you for

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Speaker 3: adding crazy into the title.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I get that a lot.

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Speaker 3: It feels often like that. What did our twain call

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Speaker 3: adolescence transitory psychosis?

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Speaker 1: I love to write things like that down Was that

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Speaker 1: a twain? Quite transitory? I'm writing it.

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Speaker 3: Adolescence is transitory psychosis psychosis.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes we feel like it's not transitioning quite quickly enough. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we wanted to be a little more transitory. We want

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Speaker 1: to make sure they move through that psychosis stage. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: we feel like we're right in the heart of it

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Speaker 1: with them, with our kids. It's a crazy world out

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Speaker 1: there to be raising children. I was just telling someone

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Speaker 1: today that my husband has this really cool T shirt.

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Speaker 1: It's his fatherhood. The toughest job you'll ever love. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is so hard, but it is obviously the most

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Speaker 1: rewarding and I think I think the most sanctifying.

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Speaker 3: When you agree, it's oh, there's nothing. There's no more

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Speaker 3: robust sanctification discipline or exercise than marriage and parenting.

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Speaker 1: The that I agree with wholeheartedly, agree with both of

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Speaker 1: those journeys in life as being very sanctifying. We see

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Speaker 1: so much of our heavenly Father, particularly even more so

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Speaker 1: as I start to, you know, at the parenting journey,

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Speaker 1: and you get to the place you're further along with

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Speaker 1: children out of the nest than I am. I've got

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Speaker 1: a one at home who's a software in college and

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Speaker 1: will be empty nesting, perhaps two at once. Actually, I've

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Speaker 1: got a senior that's graduating and maybe going away to school.

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Speaker 1: So but you are coming to us from Lee University. Yay, lovely.

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Speaker 1: That was my alma mater. It's been quite quite a

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Speaker 1: while since I was there. But to tell us a

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Speaker 1: little bit about yourself before we get into today's topic.

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Speaker 3: Sure did not grow up Christian. My family was at

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Speaker 3: times just apathetic, at other times antagonistic. We maybe went

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Speaker 3: to a Christmas eve service or an Easter service if

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Speaker 3: my mom happened to buy me and my brother new suits,

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Speaker 3: and she just wanted to use them for those things.

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Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up with any sense of God.

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Speaker 3: In fact, it was generally my sense of God was

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Speaker 3: generally negative. I when my grandmother died when I was

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Speaker 3: relatively young, my mother's response was, well, God took her,

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Speaker 3: and so that was my image of God, that God

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Speaker 3: just takes nice old ladies. And then when my parents

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Speaker 3: divorced when I was in middle school, I just assume

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Speaker 3: that God does that too. He kills people and he

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Speaker 3: divorces people, and so that's just the way I saw,

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Speaker 3: Oh God. And then I was in high school and

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Speaker 3: about fifteen sixteen years old, got somehow invited to a

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Speaker 3: fellowship at Christian Athletes Meeting and ended up hearing the

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Speaker 3: Gospel for the first time and responding to the Gospel

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Speaker 3: authentically and holistically. And that was the beginning of an

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Speaker 3: entirely new life, being born again at that moment. And

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Speaker 3: so from there, I had actually secured a scholarship to

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Speaker 3: Penn State to play lacrosse and went and worked out

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Speaker 3: with the team, got my rooming assignments. I was planning

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Speaker 3: on going into the pre med program for sports medicine,

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Speaker 3: and then in the my senior year. Spring of my

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Speaker 3: senior year, I just heard this voice from God that

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Speaker 3: said you need to switch from medicine to ministry, and

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Speaker 3: I decided to do that. So I went to my

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Speaker 3: school counselor and said, Hey, I'm switching from medicine medicine

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Speaker 3: to ministry. Can you tell me what to do? And

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Speaker 3: she said, no, I've never heard anybody say that. That's

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Speaker 3: just stupid. These are the words. And she said, you

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Speaker 3: just need to go find some really religious person and

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Speaker 3: ask them. And so I went and found a religious

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Speaker 3: person and said, hey, what do I do? Because I

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Speaker 3: really wasn't connected any church. I was all over the place.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have any anchoring in church. I was at

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Speaker 3: all these just random Christian meetings and small groups and

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Speaker 3: all that. So I guy told me that one of

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Speaker 3: my friends told me that his church youth group was

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Speaker 3: going to visit a Christian college and that's probably where

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Speaker 3: you become a minister. So I went, paid my money

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Speaker 3: several weeks later, got in the van twelve hours later,

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Speaker 3: ended up at Lee College and had no one when.

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Speaker 1: We called a college. I was there when it was

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Speaker 1: still college before it became university, So did you go it?

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Speaker 3: So I ended up there, had no idea what I

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Speaker 3: was getting into, had a little bit of a connection

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Speaker 3: to the Holy Spirit, and wanted to go to a

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Speaker 3: school where they seemed to know the Holy Spirit so

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Speaker 3: that it seemed like they did. And so I ended

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Speaker 3: up going to Lee University, and then I met my

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Speaker 3: wife here at Lee University and we got married. Our

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Speaker 3: first job was in Phoenix, Arizona as a minister and

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Speaker 3: associate pastor, and that was for about two years two

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Speaker 3: and a half years. Then I went out to southern

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Speaker 3: California for about four and a half years and got

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Speaker 3: hooked on surfcrack, which is why those boards are behind me,

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Speaker 3: because it's an addiction now and so I love surfing

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Speaker 3: and so I got connected there was there for about

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Speaker 3: four and a half years. Then my wife and I

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Speaker 3: transitioned back to Maryland and we connected with a church

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Speaker 3: for thirty years and in Maryland as a minister, and

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Speaker 3: I was the associate for a while, and then I

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Speaker 3: became the lead pastor for eighteen years. And then in

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, my wife and I recognized that her

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Speaker 3: parents were burning down in Florida, and so we didn't

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Speaker 3: know what to do. You know, she was spending a

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Speaker 3: whole lot more time than I liked she and she

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Speaker 3: didn't like it either in Florida, and so we were

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Speaker 3: in Maryland and I just since our nest was empty

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Speaker 3: and my you know, I had been through my BA

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Speaker 3: with biblical education that I got my master's in clinical

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Speaker 3: pastoral psychology, opened up a counseling center, did thirteen years

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Speaker 3: of clinical directorship of a counseling center while I was

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Speaker 3: the associate pastor at the church, and so a minister

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Speaker 3: for thirty eight years, a clinical psychotherapist for thirteen years,

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Speaker 3: and then in twenty twenty two, I just realized my

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Speaker 3: doctorate in spiritual formation put me in a position where

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Speaker 3: I could get jobs as adjuncts. So we moved to Wildwood, Florida,

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Speaker 3: and started to take care of her parents, and I

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Speaker 3: thought that was it. I thought that was just the

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Speaker 3: rest of our life. And so the only way I

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Speaker 3: could really love her well and she had wandered around

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Speaker 3: with me for thirty eight years in ministry, was to

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Speaker 3: pack it all in. We had a large church in Maryland,

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Speaker 3: packed it all in, transitioned it really well, and moved

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Speaker 3: to Florida and I started cobbling together a career there.

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Speaker 3: And then about seven months later, the president of Lee

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Speaker 3: University called me and said, we had a surprise retirement

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Speaker 3: and we need someone that has the academics and also

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Speaker 3: the pastoral experience to be the professor of pastoral Ministry.

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Speaker 3: So that's what I do now. I am the Associate

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Speaker 3: Professor of Pastoral Ministry here at Lee University, and I

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Speaker 3: could not be happier. I have never been more vocationally

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Speaker 3: satisfied than I am right now. I get to spend

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Speaker 3: the last season of my career of ministry launching the

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Speaker 3: first season of their ministry career. And it's romantic and rewarding.

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Speaker 3: For me.

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Speaker 1: It is because yeah, bookends there, because you're able to

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Speaker 1: be there at the inception of so many ministries that

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Speaker 1: are going forward, and that connection, I can imagine, is

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Speaker 1: very rewarding. And for those who don't know where Lee

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Speaker 1: University is, it's in East Tennessee. Has I took a

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Speaker 1: six six campus college tour with my son, and by far,

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Speaker 1: Lee is just one of the best campuses and one

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Speaker 1: of the best schools you could possibly consider, especially if

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Speaker 1: you're considering a Christian school. And by the way, this

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Speaker 1: is not a paid interview. I'm not trying that. This

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Speaker 1: is just the school I went to. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if my kids will choose to go there either, but

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Speaker 1: I have a huge affection for Lee. My friends that

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Speaker 1: I made there are still friends of my life today.

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Speaker 1: And it was hugely transformative in my life. So what

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Speaker 1: we were discussing, the reason why I wanted to have

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Speaker 1: you on the show is because when we went to

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Speaker 1: visit for the preview day, you told a story about

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Speaker 1: your daughter that just really moved me. And I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of my listeners can relate to myself. I

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Speaker 1: can relate to of raising your kids and the fear

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Speaker 1: and admonition of the Lord. You're trying to do all

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Speaker 1: the right things in training them. You're trying, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're trying to put them in the right environments. And

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Speaker 1: what happens so often in a lot of these educational

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Speaker 1: environments is that their faith gets challenged, or in these

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Speaker 1: relationships that they find themselves in, they get challenged. And

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Speaker 1: our children, we want them to stand up and make

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Speaker 1: the right choices, but some of them wander and have

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Speaker 1: seasons of doubt. My own daughter had a season of

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Speaker 1: ten months better part of the year being agnostic. That's

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Speaker 1: after homeschooling all the way through and trying to make

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Speaker 1: sure she was. We had all the right conversations, we

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Speaker 1: did not ignore the tough topics. We talked about it all,

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Speaker 1: and yet that's where we found ourselves. I know you

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Speaker 1: have a story that I would love for you to share.

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Speaker 1: But just briefly before we get into that, we all

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Speaker 1: know about the youth exodus. I don't think anybody I

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Speaker 1: know hasn't been touched by it in some way. Even

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Speaker 1: if their own kids are doing well, they know children, nieces, nephews,

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Speaker 1: grandchildren that have found themselves extricating themselves from the faith

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Speaker 1: that they were raised in. Barna has a lot of

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Speaker 1: research out on this. I've quoted it all before. Somewhere

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Speaker 1: around two thirds they've said are actually leaving the faith

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Speaker 1: after they leave the nest, and only maybe a half

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Speaker 1: of them return. However, I do have some really good

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Speaker 1: news that we're going to get to later in the show.

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Speaker 1: There's some really great new research coming out from Barna

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Speaker 1: that I think is going to encourage us. But before

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Speaker 1: we get to that news, let's talk about your story,

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Speaker 1: your family. What happened with your daughter in a secular

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Speaker 1: school that led her to doubt everything that you had

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Speaker 1: raised her to believe.

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Speaker 3: Sure, we have three children. We have two older girls,

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Speaker 3: and we also have our baby, which is our boy.

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Speaker 3: And when we were raising our oldest daughter, we did

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Speaker 3: a lot of what you did. We homeschooled for a

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Speaker 3: couple of years. We put her in Christian school for

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Speaker 3: a few years, then we transitioned her to a public

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Speaker 3: middle school, elementary school and middle school, and we were

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Speaker 3: really struggling with her getting traction. We had discovered she

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Speaker 3: had some neurological issues that hindered her, but they weren't

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Speaker 3: major or overwhelming. They just hindered her. And so she

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Speaker 3: always seemed to struggle with the academic side of it.

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Speaker 3: And as you know, most educational institutions historically evaluate students

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Speaker 3: based upon math and science and English in literature, and

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Speaker 3: so if you don't fall into those two categories and

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Speaker 3: your intelligence, like Howard Gardner talks about, if your intelligence

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Speaker 3: is somewhere else, like either in naturalistic or in spatial

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Speaker 3: or musical, then and all of a sudden, you just

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Speaker 3: kind of fall to the bottom of the barrel in

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Speaker 3: those institutions that only really pay attention to two dimensions

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Speaker 3: of intelligence, and there are multiple intelligences, and so that

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Speaker 3: was a real struggle for us. And so we brought

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Speaker 3: our daughter home during the ninth grade year and we

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Speaker 3: homeschooled her again. She was thriving, reconnecting to us, reconnecting

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Speaker 3: strongly to her faith, and we felt she was in

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Speaker 3: a really, really good place. However, her gift set, her

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Speaker 3: skill set was in the area of arts, and so

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Speaker 3: much like you, had a propensity for thriving in music

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Speaker 3: and theater. So we were looking for an institution that

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Speaker 3: may help us help her thrive and feel value rather

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Speaker 3: than always shrinking and falling to the bottom and feeling

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Speaker 3: like a failure. And just because the public institution was

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Speaker 3: measuring on two dimensions and she had other dimensions. And

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Speaker 3: so we ended up finding Baltimore School of the Arts,

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Speaker 3: and we were thrilled. We could not believe that in

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Speaker 3: our backyard in Baltimore, Maryland, we had such a high profile, excellent, amazing,

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Speaker 3: famous school for the arts that although we didn't live

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Speaker 3: in the city, we could export her to the institution.

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Speaker 3: And so she ended up auditioning she got in. We

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Speaker 3: were thrilled. We believed it was a God send. I

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Speaker 3: mean I remember weeping and thanking God for this opportunity

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Speaker 3: where she could go somewhere to school and have her

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Speaker 3: gifting and intelligence honored and blessed and affirmed. Well, we

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Speaker 3: put her in the school and two weeks later they

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Speaker 3: stole her. I mean, they stole her, We lost her.

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Speaker 3: She was gone. It was like, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: she didn't believe in us as parents anymore, she no

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Speaker 3: longer held our faith. I mean, this is tenth grade like.

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Speaker 1: Forward to How did that happen so quickly?

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Speaker 3: It was amazing. It blindsided a stunned us. And it was.

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Speaker 3: And she was coming home with all these wild ideas

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Speaker 3: and completely incongruent ideas that we had raised her in

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Speaker 3: and loss of belief in faith gone, and we are Christian, orthodox,

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Speaker 3: morally conservative, and all of a sudden, all of that

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Speaker 3: was being attacked.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: I remember just going to visit the school one day,

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Speaker 3: and I had a portfolio in my hand, like a

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Speaker 3: leather portfolio. And I remember one of the kids seeing

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Speaker 3: us and then running to the office and saying, hey,

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Speaker 3: Carly's preacher. Dad's here, and he's got a giant Bible

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Speaker 3: in his hand.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, Like.

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Speaker 3: As if I was carrying a gun into the building.

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Speaker 3: She was insane. And so all of a sudden we

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Speaker 3: were like these.

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Speaker 4: Mortal enemies and we were we were, we were overwhelmed,

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Speaker 4: and so we struggled and thought, and she did end

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Speaker 4: up getting through that school, but not in a good way.

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Speaker 3: With regard to us and her faith and her sense

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Speaker 3: of direction. And so it ended up out of there

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Speaker 3: that that we truly decided, Okay, the only option is

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Speaker 3: to snatch you up and export you to Lee University,

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Speaker 3: because we had we basically had you know, some allies

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Speaker 3: there at Lee University and that we're working with us

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Speaker 3: and could get her in late. It was like August

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Speaker 3: of that summer and classes were getting ready to start,

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Speaker 3: and they welcomed us. They just wereate, how can we help?

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Speaker 3: And it was so wonderful and fabulous, and so we

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Speaker 3: you know, grabbed her up and I brought her down

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Speaker 3: here and we put her in and hoping that all

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Speaker 3: things would go well. Well. The contrast there is, and

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Speaker 3: this is what I want to really make. The contrast

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Speaker 3: there is that when we put her in that high school,

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Speaker 3: and when many parents put their children in institutions of

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Speaker 3: higher learning that are not allies, and that's the keyword,

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Speaker 3: they are not allies. When we put our daughter in

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Speaker 3: what in an institution, what we thought was going to

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Speaker 3: be an ally, it ended up being an enemy. And

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Speaker 3: all of a sudden we had given our daughter to

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Speaker 3: the enemy. And we didn't really even see it coming.

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Speaker 3: If we would have been more thoughtful, more circumspect, I

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Speaker 3: think we would have known. But in any event, our child,

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Speaker 3: I don't think any child really is ready for a conflictual,

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Speaker 3: contrasting educational sperience that is not allied with the faith,

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Speaker 3: moral conservatism, you know, Christian orthodox kind of understanding that

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Speaker 3: Christian parents generally have. And so I'm an advocate, a

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Speaker 3: strong advocate. I see it all the time at Lee

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Speaker 3: University that parents generally kind of stop parenting at that

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Speaker 3: high school age. The kids, the students are wanting to

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Speaker 3: be independent. Parents don't want to fight it anymore. They're

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Speaker 3: releasing more and more. And then the next thing you know,

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Speaker 3: they send their child to an institution that may not

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Speaker 3: be allied with that parent's faith or understanding of human existence,

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Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, that child's gone, just gone.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't happen all the time, but it happens in

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Speaker 3: a large number of cases that I see all the time.

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Speaker 3: And so I know from personal experience, theoretical experience, and

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Speaker 3: institutional experience that every Christian parent must must parent through

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Speaker 3: presently and strongly and directively parent through the young adult

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Speaker 3: phase of life. And I don't know when you want

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Speaker 3: me to get into it, but I've got the psychological background.

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Speaker 3: It gives me the capacity to be able to speak

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Speaker 3: about the developmental stages there. So you tell me when

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Speaker 3: you want me to get into that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love to talk about that. I've done

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Speaker 1: it on a very simple scale of talking about how

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Speaker 1: we start off as the caregiver doing all of it

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, and then we become like the cop

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Speaker 1: like don't touch this, don't touch that, don't play with

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Speaker 1: the knife, and the toddler years, and then you become

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Speaker 1: the coach where you're starting to relate to them how

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Speaker 1: it is that, why it is rather that you're not

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Speaker 1: touching the stove or running out into the street to

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Speaker 1: get the ball. You know, you're giving them the reasoning.

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Speaker 1: But then you become the counselor where as they get older,

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Speaker 1: you want to be that trusted ally that they come

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Speaker 1: to to ask for advice. I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: a good way of putting it. That's how I heard

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Speaker 1: a pastor describe it one time before to me, I

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Speaker 1: love all of the things that you're talking about here

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Speaker 1: because I love the term ally. I think you're exactly right,

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Speaker 1: Many of the educational institutions out there right now are

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Speaker 1: really enemies to our faith. And it's not that we want.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to indoctrinate my children. I want to

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Speaker 1: encourage them to experience God and experience the truths of

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Speaker 1: my faith. And I can't choose it for them. But

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Speaker 1: I am their chief guide on this journey, and I

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Speaker 1: want them to see that faith alive in me and

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Speaker 1: then that fire burns in them. So how do we

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Speaker 1: get there and get into the psychological as you're answering this,

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Speaker 1: how do we encourage that? To me, what I've noticed,

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Speaker 1: the thing that is the most important for any person

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Speaker 1: in their faith is to have a radical encounter with

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. When you have an encounter with Jesus Christ,

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Speaker 1: then you can withstand the fiery arrows of the enemy.

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Speaker 1: When somebody gives you a question that you can't answer,

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Speaker 1: But what about this, and what about that? And what

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Speaker 1: about historically would happened you know in the inquisition? Whatever

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Speaker 1: they give you, these these these fiery darts to your faith.

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Speaker 1: But when you have an encounter with Jesus Christ, then

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Speaker 1: that seems to change everything. But I can't choose it

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Speaker 1: for my child, I can only hopefully exemplify it and

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Speaker 1: put them in really great soil that will encourage that

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Speaker 1: kind of encounter and that kind of growth. That's kind

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Speaker 1: of how I've learned to think about it. What are

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Speaker 1: your thoughts on that? What could you like looking back?

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Speaker 1: What would you have done differently in order to maybe

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Speaker 1: help your daughter not go down that dark path for

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Speaker 1: the years that she did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Well, in just in logistical terms, in high school,

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Speaker 3: a student will spend what eighty to one hundred and

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Speaker 3: ten hours a week in an environment that may be

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Speaker 3: antagonistic to your faith.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 3: And so when in high school, when they're sixteen seventeen

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Speaker 3: years old, fifteen sixteen seventeen, they are in an incredibly

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Speaker 3: formative state and very vulnerable and impressionable. And when you,

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Speaker 3: as a parent, all of a sudden, you had all

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Speaker 3: these hours with this kid, nurturing that soul soil in

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Speaker 3: that kid, and then the next thing you know, they're

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Speaker 3: gone from your presence for up to one hundred hours.

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Speaker 5: A week football practice, sports practice, theater practice, after school,

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Speaker 5: all of that, all those eight hours a day and

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Speaker 5: ten hours a day sometimes, my goodness, that is a

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Speaker 5: lot of hours that kids spend in those environments. So

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Speaker 5: there's dozens and dozens of hours there that you don't

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Speaker 5: have influence over. So I'm really really pushing.

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Speaker 3: Hard that you find an allied environment where when they

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Speaker 3: are with other people, you can trust that those other

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Speaker 3: people are attempting to influence them as you would like

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Speaker 3: them influenced, and so developing and nurturing that soul soil

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Speaker 3: is something that happens all the way through young adulthood.

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Speaker 3: In psychosocial development. It's the theory of psychosocial development says

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Speaker 3: that in the adolescent ear years even to the late adolescents,

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Speaker 3: which includes eighteen nineteen years old, the psychosocial crisis of

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Speaker 3: that season of development is belonging. They want to belong.

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Speaker 3: They want to belong. So sports are huge theaters, huge

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Speaker 3: having groups have a feeling like they belong somewhere. They

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Speaker 3: already belong in their family and hopefully they feel really

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00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 3: good about belonging in their family, but they are exploring

435
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 3: belonging outside their family. And so if you have an environment,

436
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 3: a school context, where you are putting your child in

437
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 3: that school and they are belonging, they're feeling they belong

438
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: to a faith based allied environment, similar to their family,

439
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,919
Speaker 3: but different. They are believing that they can belong in

440
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 3: this world and retain their faith. And then they move

441
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: from that psychosocial crisis, that central process of belonging into

442
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 3: the young adult years, which are all about identity. Who

443
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 3: am I independent of my parents. They're happy to belong

444
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 3: to their family in middle school and high school. They're

445
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 3: happy to belong to their school in middle school and

446
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: high school. But when they hit that young adult age,

447
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 3: they're happy to belong to their college institution, but they

448
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:13,959
Speaker 3: are exploring intensely how to become their own person. In psychology,

449
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 3: we call it individuation. Where they're individuating well at that time.

450
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 3: And I hope most of your people on this podcast

451
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 3: know that that the frontal lobe, neurologically, the frontal lobe

452
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 3: of the brain, which houses judgment, morality, faith questions, existential questions,

453
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 3: doesn't really turn on until those late early twenties, like

454
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 3: twenty two, twenty three. Well, that's when they're getting ready

455
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 3: to graduate from college. So parents need to parent hard

456
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 3: and involved, and they need allies in their child's formation.

457
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 3: And when I say formation, I'm not just not talking

458
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 3: about math and science and theology. Perhaps formation of their character,

459
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 3: formation of their soul. You need an ally in your

460
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 3: parenting that's with you all the way through that early

461
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 3: twenties experience. So when they truly launch from your home,

462
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 3: which college or university is an extension of hopefully, when

463
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 3: they launch from that environment into their adult life, that

464
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 3: soul soil has been so nurtured by their middle school,

465
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 3: high school, college experience, it has been uniform. The farming

466
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 3: of that soul soil has been uniform, so that you're

467
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 3: all looking for the same crop, the same fruit to

468
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 3: be produced, which is the fruit of the spirit. Middle school,

469
00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 3: high school, university life, college life. If you have a

470
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 3: common farming mentality, soul farming mentality, then you can, to

471
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: the best of your ability, prepare that child's soul soil

472
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 3: to produce rich, good spiritual fruit as they move forward.

473
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: So I'm inviting parents to take that very seriously. That

474
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 3: psychosocial reality and that neurological reality requires it demands that

475
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 3: parents stay involved in the game.

476
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: Hey friends, it's Catherine here. If you're trying to be

477
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: a godly parent in this wild and wacky world, you

478
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: need all the help you can get, and I've got

479
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: you covered. When you subscribe to my website. You'll get

480
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: instant access to tons of free resources made just for

481
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: Christian parents. You'll get my Prodigal Bundle, which is packed

482
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: with every podcast, article and scripture list I've created for

483
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: parents walking that tough prodigal road. You'll also get my

484
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: free eat book Beyond the Lies and covering five myths

485
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: the culture spreads to mothers, plus powerful scripture list Pray

486
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: over your kids, and even scripture songs to help your

487
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: family hide God's word in your hearts without even trying.

488
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: And of course I'll keep you encouraged with my weekly

489
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: newsletter full of faith filled PEP talks and outlines of

490
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: what we're tackling each week on the show. So don't

491
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: miss out. Head over to Catherine Secers dot com. That's

492
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: Catherine Scers dot com and subscribe today. Because Christian parenting

493
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: may be crazy, but you don't have to do it alone.

494
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: You know, you're touching on something that I couldn't agree

495
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: with more. The one thing that I think I underestimated

496
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: the most was that that kind of environment. And I

497
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: say that being a person who had all of my

498
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: children in a classical, conservative Christian homeschool environment. Conservative Christian

499
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: youth group, church environment and all of this. But what

500
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: I failed to fully consider, I think, were some of

501
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 1: the relationships that were forming within those environments. And you

502
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: can have your child in all the right places and

503
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: still there can be some very challenging relationships there. That

504
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: that was kind of the area where I think I

505
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: was a bit naive, And I knew the parents involved

506
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: in the parents were great too. They were struggling equally

507
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: like we were, as parents are ended up. We had

508
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 1: some you know, just these relationships they're forming. It's so

509
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: critically important because, like you said, that sense of belonging

510
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: is huge, and hopefully they feel like they belong here,

511
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: but they're trying to find their identity outside of your

512
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: home and even your zip code. Perhaps they're trying to

513
00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: find their place in the world, and without that prefrontal

514
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: cortex being fully developed until they're twenties where they're settling

515
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: on some of those the answers to those questions, those

516
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: challenges can be faith altering. I know they were in

517
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: my daughter's life, and it sounds you know that that

518
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: was the kind of situation that you had there. So

519
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't be more with you in terms of making sure,

520
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: you have that ally going forward, and you also have

521
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: that ally in your youth group. You have that ally

522
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: in your church while they're still still in your home.

523
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: You have that ally in your your homeschool environment or

524
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: your Christian school environment if it's a public school environment.

525
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: So what would you recommend then for parents who that's

526
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: the situation they're in. Maybe they don't have another option.

527
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: They don't have the option to homeschool or send their

528
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: child to a Christian school, which they're you know, the

529
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: cost involved in both of those things and the time

530
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: involved in both of those things are not you know,

531
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: I know a lot of parents who might would love

532
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: to do that, but they're not able to. So how

533
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: do we if they are, like you said, eighty ninety

534
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: one hundred hours a week and these other environments that

535
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: may have a lot of toxicity in it, how do

536
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: you how do you encourage parents to train their children

537
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 1: through that or to ally with them through that.

538
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 3: Let me first of all say that getting your child

539
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 3: in a allied environment is not a guarantee that that child.

540
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: Will I was there, I was there, will.

541
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 3: Never make any This is just a foundational truth of parenting.

542
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 3: You can do everything right and they can still drive

543
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 3: their life right off into a ditch. I love again

544
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 3: when we're going back to Mark Twain, but I love

545
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 3: his statement when he said, if you want to protect

546
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 3: your child from the negative influence of the world, when

547
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 3: they're about seven years old, put them in a barrel

548
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 3: and feed them through the not hole, and then when

549
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 3: they're fourteen years old, plug the not hole. It's like,

550
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 3: there's no way, there's no way you're ever going to

551
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 3: be able to have this three p sixty wrap around

552
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 3: insulation around those kids. So, whether they are in a

553
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 3: Christian school.

554
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 6: Environment a secular school environment, there's going to be nefarious

555
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:32,320
Speaker 6: influences all over the place, and your child may choose,

556
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 6: out of their own free will, to reject your way

557
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 6: of living and thinking and join someone else and belong

558
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 6: to some other tribe or whatever rather than your family.

559
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 3: And that can happen anywhere along the way. So, parents

560
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 3: who have wayward children, or struggling children, or faith abandoning children,

561
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 3: it's very possible you've done pretty much everything right and

562
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 3: had but yet your child still drove off into a ditch. Now,

563
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: for parents who struggle with the being able to afford

564
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 3: allied environments and context, it means that you have to

565
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: attempt to afford or connect your child to extracurricular context

566
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 3: of allied arrangements, such as you make sure that if

567
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 3: your child's in theater, that you have your child in

568
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 3: a theater group that is allied with you. If it's

569
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 3: the school theater group, well that's one thing, and hopefully

570
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: that will not be all that derogatory but are demeaning

571
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 3: or debilitating. But you need to find allies other than school.

572
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 3: If you don't have an ally in the school, you

573
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 3: need to find an ally in a youth group, an

574
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,720
Speaker 3: ally in a little league, an ally in a sports program,

575
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 3: an ally in a junior college program with the high school.

576
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: Something along those lines is going to help keep your

577
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 3: child connected and that perhaps can be afforded. The other

578
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 3: piece of the puzzle is that as you go along

579
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 3: in this seeking allied environments, to consistently attempt to reduce

580
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 3: the managerial tendency and posture yourself in more and more

581
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 3: of a mentoring type way. So parenting is so much

582
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 3: about managing. Are they fed, is they're diaper changed? Are

583
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 3: they going to school? Do they have clothes? Is the

584
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 3: house say you know? Are they taking their medicine, all

585
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 3: managerial types stuff, and we often lose the mentoring along

586
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 3: the way. So finding people to ally with may not

587
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 3: be school, but it may be a tutor, could be

588
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 3: it may be a coach. It may be a family member,

589
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 3: a friend of a parent of a friend who takes

590
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 3: on more of a mentoring type role because you're so

591
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 3: busy managing. Totally get that now. The other piece of

592
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 3: the puzzle is as parents may have some incredibly difficult children,

593
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 3: personality wives, and again, what you can do is you

594
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 3: can make sure that you do your due diligence testing

595
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 3: those children, exposing those children to people that can speak

596
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 3: into your life as you parent them, such as is

597
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 3: there a disability involved, is there a mental health issue involved?

598
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 3: Is there a learning disability or an emotional disability involved.

599
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 3: There are resources that you can access through your insurance,

600
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 3: your community agencies, through your county, through your city, through

601
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 3: your workplace, perhaps through the school. We found an incredible

602
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 3: school counselor in a secular public school who came to

603
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 3: us when our oldest daughter was in middle school and said,

604
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 3: would you allow me to do some testing with her?

605
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 3: I said great. They did some testing and the school

606
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: counselor came back and said, you know what, I really

607
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 3: think you would do well if you went to Johns

608
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 3: Hopkins and their tic disorder clinic, their neurological clinic. Okay,

609
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 3: And we had no idea, but we found out that

610
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 3: our daughter had some neurological issues which were preventing her

611
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 3: from thriving. We as parents were completely blind to that.

612
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 3: We had no idea. Nobody ever picked up on that.

613
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 3: But then an ally in a school environment, public school environment,

614
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: helped us and we investigated. We found out what was necessary.

615
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 3: We did medication, and it was better our other children.

616
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,879
Speaker 3: We put them into some educational testing and found out

617
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 3: that there was some learning disabilities going on, some attention

618
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 3: deficit issues that were going on, and we addressed that

619
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 3: and things improved. So as parents, don't just think you're

620
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 3: cursed or don't think you're broken, You're not crazy, you're

621
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: not alone. Try to find some help and find some

622
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 3: allies and doctors, counselors, school counselors, teachers, coaches, family members,

623
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 3: and look for allies in those places as well, which

624
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 3: don't require you spending all the money to send your

625
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 3: kid to a Christian school.

626
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 1: I love that, Yeah, First of all, I would encourage

627
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 1: parents pray for the allies because God's gonna put them

628
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: in your pack. A good point, pray for them. If

629
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: you feel like you don't have that, say Lord, and

630
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: then just you know, bring these allies to the forefront

631
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 1: and then you know, be looking for them. That's great,

632
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 1: and partnering with them because I love that, because I know,

633
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,280
Speaker 1: you know, not everyone has the bandwidth or the ability

634
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: to pull your kids out of whatever schooling environment you

635
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: have and do it on your own, or they may

636
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: not have the resources to do a Christian private school.

637
00:40:56,440 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: But God can provide where you are, and He will provide,

638
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 1: So I love that. First off, extra points for using

639
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: the word nefarious. I love that word. That's a great one.

640
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: I try to slip that in whenever I can too.

641
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 1: But what you were saying earlier on too about even

642
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 1: if you dot all your eyes and cross all your teas,

643
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: they could still end up in a ditch. And my

644
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: regular listeners know this, but I always come back to this.

645
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:25,720
Speaker 1: I was telling somebody this today. God is the perfect parent.

646
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: He is the absolute perfect parent, and he had two

647
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: kids in a garden with an infinite number of good choices.

648
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: They could make in any given day and only one

649
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: bad choice, and still they chose the one bad choice.

650
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 1: So if you think you're going to outparent God, good

651
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 1: luck with that. They rebelled. His children rebelled, and he

652
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: put the story of the prodigal child in scripture for

653
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: a reason because he knew many of us would experience

654
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 1: that as he has experienced it. And when you do

655
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: experience it, man, you understand God's love for the lost

656
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: in a way you never imagined that you could when

657
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,280
Speaker 1: your own child is not a path that is leading

658
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 1: them towards the plans and purposes that God created them for.

659
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: But you gain an empathy and a heart for the

660
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 1: loss that I think is I didn't understand so the

661
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: degree that I do now, I did not understand it before.

662
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: It just really will break your heart to know that

663
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: we have a heavenly father that looks down at all

664
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: of his lost children and loves them as we love

665
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: our lost child, those of us who have walked that

666
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: or niece or nephew or grandchild. And it's an acute

667
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 1: pain that God can use for great good in your life,

668
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 1: and He can redeem that the prodigal can come home,

669
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: And that's what we're looking to have happened. I want

670
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 1: to touch on a couple of things here when it

671
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: comes to these journeys with our children and the challenges

672
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: that they face and the youth exodus, how much do

673
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: you think leans into this intellectual side where their worldview

674
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 1: is being challenged with ideas like naturalism and relativism and

675
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: post Christian ethics, And how much do you think is

676
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 1: really leaning more into that community based relational aspect of

677
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 1: they've ended up planted in a community where everybody is

678
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,919
Speaker 1: questioning the preacher dad who came to the campus with

679
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 1: a portfolio that looks like a massive Bible and they

680
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: act like it's a gun. How much of it is

681
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 1: more or it could just depend child to child. How

682
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: much do you think is more on the intellectual side,

683
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times parents feel ill

684
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:37,240
Speaker 1: equipped sometimes to you to answer all of those questions.

685
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: And I would tell parents, you don't have to answer

686
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: all of the questions. You just have to be someone

687
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: who's willing to actually, I don't know, do a little research,

688
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: pick up a book. Maybe you may need to go

689
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: study some of these ideas that they're entertaining in order

690
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: to have that conversation to show that you care. But

691
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, do you think it's

692
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: more on the intellectual side or more on the relational

693
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: community side That is the bigger challenge for kids when

694
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: they leave the nest.

695
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me let me go back to go forward.

696
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 3: I want to go back to say the story of

697
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 3: my daughter ends. Well, you know she is right now thriving,

698
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 3: married to a great Christian man and have a child,

699
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 3: raising a child, and the fear and admonition of the Lord,

700
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 3: and you know that older daughter is just on fire

701
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 3: for the things of God. And it's just fascinating to

702
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 3: see how God's grace can effectively work in a divinely

703
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 3: conspiratorial way that takes into consideration all of your parental failings.

704
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 3: That I want to offer every parent listening this principle.

705
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 3: The only thing that God needs from you is He

706
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 3: doesn't need you to be a perfect parent. He doesn't

707
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 3: need you to be on the cover of Focus on

708
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 3: the Family magazine as parent of the Year. Doesn't need

709
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 3: that in order to help your child or work with

710
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 3: your child to bring them to a place of faith.

711
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 3: He just needs consistent adequacy. Consistent adequacy. Now, we don't

712
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 3: really like that in our American frame, because we're always

713
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: wanting to be exceptional, and God is only looking for

714
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 3: people who will simply commit to being consistently adequate, and

715
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 3: he will do all of the rest in a divinely

716
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: conspiratorial way that is in accordance with Romans eight twenty eight,

717
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: where he moves that child into increase sing opportunities to

718
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 3: experience the best of you as a parent. He will,

719
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 3: like you said, pray for allies. Pray for people to

720
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 3: come into their life that will represent the best of

721
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: your parenting. So that although when you take all the

722
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 3: highs and you take all the lows, and you take

723
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 3: all the successes, and you take all the failures, you

724
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 3: were consistently adequate as a parent, rest in that grace

725
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 3: and be at peace because God's Dallas Willard always used

726
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 3: to say this phrase. It's a fabulous phrase to parents.

727
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 3: Trust the creature to the creator. Trust the creature to

728
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 3: the creator. And that leads me into this discussion about

729
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 3: intellect or relationship. It's both, it can't be not both.

730
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 3: One can be more weighted than another. But my belief

731
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 3: about it is that when parents live as sincerely and

732
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:16,919
Speaker 3: authentically consistently adequate before their children. And their children see

733
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 3: all their ups and all their downs, but they see

734
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 3: that the throughput is honesty. They that you, as a parent,

735
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: were consistently adequate at being faithful to God and faithful

736
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 3: to them. That's all that God needs to work so

737
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: that you can release your child to the Creator who

738
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 3: will track them, never loses track of them. This is

739
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 3: the great story of the prodigal son. This is the

740
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 3: great story of my daughter. This is the great story

741
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 3: of any child who's ever been wayward and returned. That

742
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 3: that we pray and seek God that he will track them,

743
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 3: and they may reject him in the end. They may

744
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:14,280
Speaker 3: reject him, And I recognize that reality of free will.

745
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 3: I subscribe to that sense of God's sovereignty. But within

746
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 3: the context of them, they may choose to reject him ultimately,

747
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: But we as parents must not give up the faith

748
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 3: and the hope that we can trust our creature to

749
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 3: the Creator. And if we live faithfully, all of that intellectualizing,

750
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 3: all of that debating worldview, challenging of worldview is real,

751
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 3: but it is not sovereign. All of that relationship and

752
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 3: those other relationships that come into your child's life that

753
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 3: may or may not be an ally to you. They

754
00:48:55,920 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 3: are also not sovereign. But in all of it, God

755
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 3: is working, working, and working everything towards good, and the

756
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 3: prayer always is that our child will ultimately choose that

757
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 3: good that God has for them, and that's why we

758
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 3: continue to pray. Now, I love your idea of hey,

759
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 3: should we be wily and savvy with regard to intellectual

760
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 3: high edge of higher education type thinking. That's great, But

761
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 3: if you can talk your child into faith, someone is

762
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 3: always going to come along more wily than you and

763
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 3: talk your child out of faith. The only way we can,

764
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: the only way we can establish some kind of continuity,

765
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 3: is to be the best, most consistently adequate, faithful person

766
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: we can be to God and our child and trust

767
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 3: the creature to the Creator. Wherever they go to school

768
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: UAB University of ten seeing Lee University, they're always going

769
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 3: to have an opportunity to reject God. But really that

770
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 3: that consistent adequacy, trusting the creature to the Creator is

771
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 3: the way in which that we can posture ourselves in

772
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 3: peace to know that whatever happens, He hasn't lost track

773
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 3: of them. And truly, your child's ultimate salvation is beyond

774
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 3: your pay grade.

775
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: That is well above my pay grade for sure. But

776
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,959
Speaker 1: I tell you you said so many amazing things there

777
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: that I would love to touch on it. Just it's

778
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: so encouraging to know that we don't have to be

779
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: consistently extraordinary or excellent, just adequate.

780
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 3: And social media kills about that. So you go on

781
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 3: social media, I know everybody is a better parent than me.

782
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 3: I might as well just give up now.

783
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,800
Speaker 1: No, But the thing that you said that's important is consistent.

784
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 1: We can choose whether we're consistent. I can't choose whether

785
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:03,839
Speaker 1: I'm extraordinary or excellent at everything, because I'm not going

786
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 1: to be. But I can choose whether I'm going to

787
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 1: be consistent at something. So if I can just manage

788
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 1: to be adequate and consistent at it as a parent,

789
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 1: then God can take that. And you used another term,

790
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:20,839
Speaker 1: divinely conspiratorial, that he is always seeking our children. And

791
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 1: the one thing that I would bring that back to

792
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: you you talked about prayer, because I brought that up

793
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: early in praying for the allies. Do not forget yes,

794
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: our children. They do believe that my child has free will,

795
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 1: that they can choose God or not choose God. So

796
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: ultimately that is the reality. But my prayers, in your prayers,

797
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 1: our prayers as parents are powerful. I think it was

798
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 1: Edwin Orr that once said that the history is silent

799
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: on revivals that did not begin in prayer. So if

800
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: you want a revival for your child's faith, where it

801
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: may start, and I believe it can start and will start,

802
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 1: is you on your knees, fasting and praying for your child.

803
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: And I tell you, we had to learn how to

804
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: pray like we never had before when we had this

805
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: faith crisis with our child, and we assembled. I've got

806
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: it on my website. It's just a free resource, a

807
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: bunch of scriptures you can pray every single day over

808
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: your child. We do not fail to pray those scriptures

809
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: over my children because I know His word does not

810
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: return void. But more importantly than that, is just this consistency.

811
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm not always articulating the most brilliant prayers, but I'm

812
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 1: consistent at it. I consistently pray for particularly my daughter

813
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 1: who struggled in the faith, but for all of my

814
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: children every day. I'm consistently adequate at that. Some days

815
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm kind of extraordinary, some days I'm just adequate. But

816
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: I'm consistent at it, and that prayer I know is

817
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 1: moving things in the heavenly realm. We can go there

818
00:52:55,719 --> 00:53:00,240
Speaker 1: are obstacles to their faith, there are enemies to their faith,

819
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 1: and we can help to tear those down. I believe

820
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:08,399
Speaker 1: in prayer as we pray for our children. So I'm

821
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: huge on that, and I did promise earlier and I

822
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: definitely want to get to this that we do have

823
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: some good news about some statistics that are coming out

824
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: of BARNA right now. I thought we're very encouraging. There's

825
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: a new article that came out in April of this year.

826
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: It's called new Research Belief in Jesus is on the rise,

827
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: and it's fueled by younger adults. I want to read

828
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,240
Speaker 1: a little portion of this. It said, according to barna's

829
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: latest data, sixty six percent of all US adults say

830
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 1: that they have made a personal commitment to Jesus that

831
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: is still important in their life today. That marks a

832
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 1: twelve percentage point increase since twenty twenty one. We've had

833
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: a rough few years, and isn't that interesting that that

834
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 1: seemed to be pushing people back towards belief in Christ.

835
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 1: It goes on to say, when commitment levels reach their

836
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 1: lowest in more than three decades. That was twenty twenty one,

837
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: according to BARNA tracking, Now it's up to sixty six percent,

838
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 1: a twelve percentage point increase, and it's not only statistically significant,

839
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,320
Speaker 1: it may be the clearest indication, they say, of meaningful

840
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 1: spiritual renewal in the United States. And there was another

841
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: article that came out in November by BARNA talking about

842
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 1: how millennials in Gen Z are driving a Bible reading

843
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 1: come back, and this was interesting. It talked about how

844
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 1: actually it's fallen off with boomers. Boomers used to have

845
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 1: the highest levels of Bible reading. It peaked at forty

846
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: nine percent and twenty ten, but now they have actually

847
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: gone down and Gen Z and millennials are on the

848
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 1: rise when it comes to Bible reading. And David Kinneman,

849
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: who is the CEO of BARNA, said, we're not necessarily

850
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: witnessing widespread social transformation, but we are seeing Americans move

851
00:54:56,400 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: back towards patterns of faith that have been fading, and

852
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: that is very hopeful. Have you seen that on the

853
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 1: college campus. I know you're in a Christian campus, or

854
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: you would expect or at least for higher levels a

855
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: Bible reading there. You know it's required for some of

856
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: the classes, But are you seeing that in young people yearning?

857
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:16,959
Speaker 1: I know there was a revival. There were you there

858
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: for that at Lye when that came, when it was

859
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: hitting all the college campuses. Lee was one of the

860
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 1: schools where that happened.

861
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, it did. I was not a faculty member at

862
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 3: that time. I came after that, but the residual effects

863
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 3: were real. You may I think I could illustrate your

864
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 3: citation of all that data, which I agree with. And

865
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 3: the interesting thing is that that data, the quality and

866
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:52,480
Speaker 3: the character of that data is also rooted in I

867
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 3: think majorly rooted in that these gen Z and millennials

868
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 3: and alpha are are not necessarily interested in getting doctrine right.

869
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 3: They're interested in getting doctrine lived. They want to know

870
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 3: that faith matters. And that is somewhat of an indictment

871
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 3: on parents who may say they have faith, but they

872
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 3: don't live that faith. And that's why I said earlier

873
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 3: that the greatest gift that we can give our children

874
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 3: is a faith consistently and adequately lived in front of

875
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 3: their children, and all the good days and all the

876
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 3: bad days running through all of it is a faithful

877
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 3: witness of God's power in the life of those parents.

878
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 3: And let me emphasize this because I think it's critical

879
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:55,240
Speaker 3: to parents who may be struggling, and that is especially

880
00:56:55,280 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 3: young parents. To young parents, you cannot try harder to

881
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 3: be a good parent, but you can train better to

882
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 3: be a good parent. And what I mean by that

883
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 3: is is that good parenting just doesn't naturally occur. It

884
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 3: is you got to put in some effort for that.

885
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 3: And the effort is not in trying, but training, which

886
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 3: means that we as parents actually engage education, reading podcasts

887
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 3: that are filling us with good ideas and good practices

888
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 3: and good principles, like when you think of Ronald Rolheiser's

889
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 3: book The Domestic Monastery, Oh my goodness, how wonderful that

890
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 3: book is to help us understand the holistic nature of

891
00:57:55,280 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 3: spirituality and now and Ken Shigamatsu's book The God and

892
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 3: the God in Everything Finding God in Everything, Oh my gosh.

893
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:08,919
Speaker 3: It's taking the ancient tradition of rule of life, which

894
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 3: I call soul health planning, and translating it into this

895
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 3: practical way that parents can develop soul health plans for

896
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 3: themselves and for their family training up their child in

897
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 3: sole health planning, practicing disciplines in their household. For instance, Sabbath. Okay,

898
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 3: so we have ten. We have ten commandments, but we

899
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 3: only really care about nine. I mean, how many of

900
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 3: us would say the sixth and seventh commandment, we can

901
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 3: just ignore thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not commit adultery. No,

902
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 3: we all would say, oh yeah, we don't want to

903
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 3: be adulters and we don't want to be murderers. But

904
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 3: yet we can ignore the fourth commandment. We can just

905
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 3: ignore the fourth commandment. Just because we keep Sabbath doesn't

906
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:06,880
Speaker 3: make us, doesn't make us Christians. But Jesus did away

907
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 3: with legalism of Sabbath while maintaining the wisdom of Sabbath.

908
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 3: So when we give our children unwittingly to a world

909
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 3: that requires busyness and acquisition and achievement, and we tell

910
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 3: them never turn, never take a day off, always be busy,

911
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 3: then we are being terrorized by a culture that is

912
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 3: sucking the life, not creating margin for our children. When

913
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 3: we live at break neck speed, we end up, like

914
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 3: Pete Scazarro says, being shamed by the pharaoh of this

915
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 3: culture into busyness. The pharaoh of this culture is shaming

916
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 3: us into busyness, because when we rest, we feel guilty,

917
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 3: and then we keep busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, and

918
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 3: we never John Markomer's great book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry,

919
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 3: we live in a hurry sick society. And when we,

920
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 3: as Christian parents, don't ever take real time to rest

921
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 3: for ourselves, then how can we ever have the energy

922
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 3: to parent? Well, Lord, have mercy, We're so tired all

923
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 3: the time. Remember this statement from the old adage, if

924
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 3: the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy.

925
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

926
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 3: Well, here's why. Because if he can make you busy,

927
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:34,919
Speaker 3: he makes you tired, and when you're tired, he can

928
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 3: make you bad a lot easier. If the devil can't

929
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 3: make you bad, he'll make you busy, because when you're busy,

930
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 3: you'll be tired, and he'll have an easier time making

931
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 3: you bad. So when we live without the wisdom of

932
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 3: the Central Commandment, the fourth commandment that has the most

933
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 3: words out of all of the commandments, has the most words.

934
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 3: God gives it the most weight, and we ignore Sabbath,

935
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 3: then we're living and we're living in sin and we're

936
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 3: living under the oppression of our culture. We as Christian prayerents,

937
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 3: need to stop trying harder to be parents and train better,

938
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 3: which means creating rhythms and routines in our life, being

939
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 3: able to say no to certain things. Fasting as a family,

940
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 3: reading the Bible as a family, sabbathing as a family,

941
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 3: going to church as a family. All of those things

942
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 3: are critical rhythmic routine disciplines that train our children to

943
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 3: be faithful stewards of what our faith is.

944
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: M I love that I crave. I crave my Sabbath too,

945
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 1: I really do, and I get I've become more and

946
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,880
Speaker 1: more and more protective of it because it's just so

947
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 1: important to me to have that moment of rest. If I,

948
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, something habits on on our Sabbath and

949
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 1: we do it on a Sunday, and then I'm just

950
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm running into a week just completely

951
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:13,440
Speaker 1: shot already if I don't take that time to just

952
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 1: rest and reflect and being in my family and in

953
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 1: the relationships that God has given me to focus on.

954
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 1: It just it's so important. I love that you brought

955
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 1: that in. That's worthy honestly of a whole episode of

956
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,959
Speaker 1: itself talking about the Sabbath. That's just something, like I said,

957
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:35,439
Speaker 1: We've craved. I've craved more and more the older I get.

958
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: I have to have that that time of disconnection from

959
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 1: the world, reconnection to my heavenly father and into my family.

960
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: So I love that you mentioned these rhythms, and it's

961
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:49,920
Speaker 1: these things. Some of them are hard to do because

962
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 1: our culture is not geared this way. Hey, but it's

963
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 1: working really well for Chick fil A and Hobby Lobby, right.

964
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 1: I mean, look how well those two businesses have done.

965
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: And I mean, what isss this person would ever tell

966
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: you to close down your business for a day on

967
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 1: the weekend and think that that would thrive, And yet

968
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 1: they do. They thrive. So you know, anyways, just throwing

969
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 1: that in there, But I love all of these rhythms

970
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 1: that we can find ourselves. The praying, the fasting. We

971
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: started something in our family. Goodness, it's been a couple

972
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 1: of years, but it was one of those things that

973
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 1: I'm not a morning person, but we decided to get

974
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 1: up and go to six a m. Prayer on Monday

975
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 1: morning at our church. And it's a bit of a

976
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: drive and it's cold out right now, and you know,

977
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: I don't love it when the alarm goes off, But

978
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 1: my goodness, how good that has been for our family.

979
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: What an incredible discipline that we've kind of put into

980
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 1: the fabric of our lives and trying to find more

981
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:45,040
Speaker 1: of those you know, that really ground us, so that

982
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 1: as they go out and to their own hopefully they'll

983
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: take those those spiritual habits and rhythms with them as

984
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 1: they get out into the world. This has just been

985
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 1: really so very very practical as well and encouraging that

986
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: I don't have to be extraordinary, just need to be

987
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 1: consistently adequate at doing these things and helping my children.

988
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,120
Speaker 1: What final thoughts do you have for us to help

989
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 1: encourage us as we're considering empty nesting and where our

990
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,959
Speaker 1: children may end up going on for their education.

991
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 3: Little review of just as far as that's concerned, you

992
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 3: need an ally, bottom line, you need an ally in

993
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 3: your parenting, and so look for those allies, pray for

994
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 3: those allies, be good stewards of those allies, and that

995
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 3: will bless you and your children. And the second thing,

996
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 3: many of the things I've talked about spiritual discipline, soul

997
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 3: health planning, Sabbath. All of those things are on a

998
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 3: website that my wife and I curate. It's primarily for

999
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 3: ministers and ministers' spouses, but it has lots of good

1000
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 3: practical information on it, like, for instance, sabbathing with a

1001
01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 3: young family with little kids, how do you do that? Well,

1002
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:01,480
Speaker 3: there's a I have a whole recording a video on

1003
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 3: there that everything's free, nothing's for pay, it's just available.

1004
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 3: And that's Ministryoasis dot com. Ministryoasis dot com. It's just available.

1005
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 3: And all those resources there have sermons on Sabbath. I

1006
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 3: have fillable PDFs on soul health planning, little videos on

1007
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 3: what it means to develop a rule of life, which

1008
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 3: I call soul health planning. And so if you don't

1009
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 3: plan for your soul, you plan to fail your soul.

1010
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 1: I think you're absolutely right. Maybe we'll have to have

1011
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 1: you back on sometime we can do a whole episode

1012
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 1: on the sabbath, because I'd love to learn more about

1013
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,840
Speaker 1: how to make that even more meaningful and more RESTful

1014
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: and refreshing. It's counterintuitive to our culture, and that's exactly

1015
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 1: why we do it. Same thing with tithing, right and

1016
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:53,960
Speaker 1: with giving, you know, it doesn't make sense to give

1017
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 1: money away when you're struggling, and yet that's the very

1018
01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: door that opens a spiritual principle and our lives and

1019
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: the rest principle. There, it's having to trust that, Okay,

1020
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 1: God has this and that he has designed me to

1021
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: need rest, and if He's designed me this way, then

1022
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:10,280
Speaker 1: he's going to take care of me if I if

1023
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: I take care of myself and obey him in this.

1024
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: It's a huge faith issue. I was just talking to

1025
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,480
Speaker 1: someone the other day about, you know, the giving aspect,

1026
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 1: and they're they're really struggling, and I'm like, well, this

1027
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: is the way God has gone designed it. When you're

1028
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: tapping into something that's even more real than the scientific

1029
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 1: laws that govern our universe. When when we tap into

1030
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: these spiritual laws of sabbath and giving, they're counterintuitive to

1031
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 1: the world because God is trying to break us from

1032
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:42,040
Speaker 1: that ideology that rules the world that says, no, you've

1033
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:43,800
Speaker 1: got to work twenty four to seven, you can't rest.

1034
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: You've got to get ahead, and you've got to you've

1035
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,560
Speaker 1: got to save everything for yourself. And he says, no, no,

1036
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 1: that's not how his kingdom works. His kingdom works very differently,

1037
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,479
Speaker 1: and I'm just so happy that we had this time.

1038
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 1: I knew when I heard you at Lee at the

1039
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: preview day that, ah, I've got to have Steve on

1040
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 1: the so so that we can really help encourage and

1041
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:06,560
Speaker 1: equip parents that are getting towards this empty nesting phase.

1042
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 1: Maybe some of them are a little younger and wanting

1043
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: to know some of the things that we talked about.

1044
01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: I think that we're so great that will help you

1045
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 1: prepare for that phase. But a lot of us are

1046
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 1: in it, and I know I know that the email

1047
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 1: I get more than any other is from parents who

1048
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:24,680
Speaker 1: are hurting, whose children have been on these prodigal paths,

1049
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 1: And Praise God, your story is so encouraging there. Just

1050
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 1: keep praying. I know my daughter's story hopefully is encouraging

1051
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 1: for people too. She is now no longer agnostic, she

1052
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 1: believes in the Lord, and so just keep praying through that.

1053
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 1: So I'll give you the final word there, Steve.

1054
01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:44,840
Speaker 3: What my final word is, thank God for you, Catherine

1055
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 3: and your podcast. Truly to care enough to do the

1056
01:07:49,880 --> 01:07:54,840
Speaker 3: work to curate this kind of outlet is exactly the

1057
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:57,400
Speaker 3: kind of ally that I'm talking about.

1058
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,760
Speaker 1: Expect you to say that now I'm going to cry.

1059
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 1: That's very kind of you that I do hope to be.

1060
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 1: And by the way, listeners subscribe at my website, you'll

1061
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 1: get a weekly email from me. But if you don't

1062
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 1: want to do that, if you don't want any more emails,

1063
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 1: just email me at Katherine at Katherinsegers dot com. I

1064
01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:17,120
Speaker 1: respond to all of my listeners that write me, and

1065
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:20,479
Speaker 1: I've spent and I'll pray for you and your kids

1066
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 1: because I know what that feels like. Actually, I have

1067
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:26,639
Speaker 1: another guest that is probably that episode will air before

1068
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 1: this one. We have a monthly meeting of allies who

1069
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 1: get together and we just pray for our kids. We

1070
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:34,439
Speaker 1: just because we've been on similar journeys with some of

1071
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 1: the things our kids have walked through, and we just

1072
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:41,080
Speaker 1: get together and pray. And one of them actually she

1073
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 1: went to Lee as well. She's a friend. We reconnected

1074
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: on Facebook, and I invite her to the group. And

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01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:48,599
Speaker 1: so if you're needing those kinds of allies, they are

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01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:50,800
Speaker 1: out there. Pray for them. God is going to bring them.

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01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:53,200
Speaker 1: I think that's the overarching theme of the show today,

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01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 1: is that we need allies and our parenting. Whether it's

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01:08:56,040 --> 01:09:00,080
Speaker 1: a podcast, whether it's a mentor whether it's a you know,

1080
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 1: some books that you really need to read, or some

1081
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 1: group that you need to get in, a prayer group

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01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:07,360
Speaker 1: for your kids. We all need those allies, and especially

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01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 1: those allies that are speaking into our kids' lives, and

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01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 1: our prayers can help us to find them and help

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01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,400
Speaker 1: our children to find them. So thank you so much, Steve.

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01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 1: It's been just delightful. We'll have to probably have you

1087
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,960
Speaker 1: back on to do something on the Sabbath so we

1088
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:23,400
Speaker 1: can really learn how to do that better, because if

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01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 1: we don't have that day of rest, then we're really

1090
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 1: not going to be consistently adequate experience, are we.

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01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 3: I don't think I've discovered that in my life. I

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01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:32,640
Speaker 3: believe that.

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01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 1: Well, God, bless you. Thank you so much. This has

1094
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:38,200
Speaker 1: been amazing. I just knew this was going to be

1095
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 1: an incredible conversation and it did not disappoint. You know,

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01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:46,600
Speaker 1: one thing that doctor Hall said really stuck with me.

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01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:53,640
Speaker 7: That is, as parents, you can do everything right, faithfully, intentionally, prayerfully,

1098
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:58,559
Speaker 7: and your child can still steer their life straight into

1099
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,520
Speaker 7: a ditch. Now that may we sound like a strange

1100
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,559
Speaker 7: kind of encouragement, especially if you're in the thick of

1101
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 7: raising little ones. But stay with me here, because at

1102
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 7: some point your child will hit a ditch. Now, maybe

1103
01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:15,080
Speaker 7: it's just a shallow one in the backyard, or maybe

1104
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 7: it feels more like the Grand canyon. But when that

1105
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 7: moment comes, you need to remember this. Their ditch is

1106
01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:29,520
Speaker 7: not your report card. We are called to be faithful,

1107
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,880
Speaker 7: not perfect, as doctor Hall said. We are called to

1108
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:38,280
Speaker 7: be consistently adequate, not extraordinary or excellent, although we should

1109
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:41,200
Speaker 7: strive for excellence. But if at the end of the

1110
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 7: day we manage to just be adequate, that is enough,

1111
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:52,520
Speaker 7: because our God is more than enough. So be encouraged

1112
01:10:52,560 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 7: to pray for the people who will surround your child,

1113
01:10:55,439 --> 01:11:02,360
Speaker 7: their friends, their professors, their mentors, especially as step into independence.

1114
01:11:02,439 --> 01:11:08,280
Speaker 7: And yes, please think wisely about environments, even considering a

1115
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:12,120
Speaker 7: Christian institution that can partner with you, that can be

1116
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:17,960
Speaker 7: your ally in shaping your child's faith and their future.

1117
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 7: And I'll just share a quick personal note here. My

1118
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:25,280
Speaker 7: son did choose a Christian university, and I'll be honest,

1119
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 7: I kind of hoped it would be Lee University, but

1120
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:33,880
Speaker 7: it wasn't. He chose Mississippi Christian University, which has an

1121
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:38,759
Speaker 7: incredible rich two hundred year heritage of educating young people

1122
01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:43,719
Speaker 7: from a conservative Christian worldview. So yay, yay, he chose

1123
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 7: very well. But then there is the cost.

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01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,600
Speaker 1: And let me just tell you, as a parent, that

1125
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:52,920
Speaker 1: can feel overwhelming.

1126
01:11:53,040 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 7: We've had those very real conversations with con that like.

1127
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to make away here, and you know

1128
01:11:58,880 --> 01:12:03,120
Speaker 1: what he already is Provision is showing up from places

1129
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:05,200
Speaker 1: we did not expect.

1130
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:07,280
Speaker 7: Now we're not all of the way there yet, but

1131
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:11,720
Speaker 7: we're seeing his hand and trusting him to finish.

1132
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:12,400
Speaker 1: What he has started.

1133
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:16,840
Speaker 7: So wherever you are in your parenting journey, hold on

1134
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 7: to this. God is not finished. So keep praying, keep trusting,

1135
01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 7: and keep believing that the one who began a good

1136
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:29,360
Speaker 7: work in your child will be faithful to complete it.

1137
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:34,760
Speaker 7: And always remember God gave you your kids, your specific

1138
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,639
Speaker 7: kids for a reason. That's because you hold the key

1139
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:42,720
Speaker 7: to unlocking who God created them to be. We'll see

1140
01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 7: you next time.

1141
01:12:50,439 --> 01:12:53,719
Speaker 1: Christian parent Crazy World is a production of Life Audio

1142
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,519
Speaker 1: and Salem Media. If you liked what you heard today,

1143
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,560
Speaker 1: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

1144
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:02,680
Speaker 1: in your favorite podcast app so that more listeners like

1145
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:07,080
Speaker 1: you can find the show For more faith filled, inspirational podcasts,

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01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:17,400
Speaker 1: visit us at lifeaudio dot com.