1 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:38,319 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 5 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 2: How important are memories to happiness? Now, bad memories. Let's 6 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 2: say you were abused as a child. That continues, That 7 00:00:50,879 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: continues to affect many people's happiness. One of the major 8 00:00:55,000 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: reasons for therapy is to expunge bad memories. So obviously, 9 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 2: bad memories contribute to our unhappiness. That's I think fairly obvious. 10 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: But here's the big question. Do good memories contribute to 11 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 2: our happiness? 12 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom. But Dennis Prager, and 13 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: it starts right now. 14 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, it's the Happiness Hour on the Dennis 15 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 2: Prager Show. Everybody a hell or high water, as they say, 16 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 2: I address the subject of happiness this second hour of 17 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 2: the Dennis Prager Show on Fridays. My friends, you know 18 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 2: how important I consider happiness. I have been doing so 19 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 2: now for about fifteen years, not my whole life. I 20 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 2: didn't realize how important it was. I thought, oh, it's 21 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 2: nice to have. It's much better to be happy than unhappy. 22 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 2: That's a that's a given. But I didn't realize how 23 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 2: unbelievably important it is that the world has made better 24 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 2: if they were happy people in it, that children so 25 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 2: suffer from an unhappy parent, or and friends do, and 26 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,399 Speaker 2: spouses and so on, and so happiness has become a 27 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 2: tremendous significance to me. That's why, no matter what, I 28 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 2: devote an hour to the subject each week, I devote 29 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 2: a ten year to writing a book on it. The 30 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 2: book's title and I certainly obviously I hope you read it. 31 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: I mean, if you like the hour, I don't know 32 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: why you wouldn't read it. Happiness is a serious problem 33 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 2: is very apt. The title is very apt to the 34 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 2: subject today. This will give you an idea of why 35 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 2: happiness is a serious problem. Talk to you, and I 36 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 2: never did. This is a totally new subject on the 37 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 2: happiness hour, And that is what role does memory play 38 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 2: in your happiness? Think about that? And I have a 39 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 2: number of theories here that I would love your reaction to, 40 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 2: because this is still in formation and I'm going to 41 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 2: your feedback will be very important to me. How important 42 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 2: are memories to happiness. Now, bad memories. Let's say you 43 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 2: were abused as a child, that continues, that continues to 44 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 2: affect many people's happiness. One of the major reasons for 45 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: therapy is to expunge bad memories. So, obviously, bad memories 46 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: contribute to our unhappiness. That's I think fairly obvious. But 47 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 2: here's the big question. Do good memories contribute to our happiness? 48 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 2: And my argument is they ought to. But for a 49 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: lot of people, bad memories are far more powerful, have 50 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: a much more powerful effect on their happiness than good 51 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: memories do. And that's not right to yourself, and it's 52 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 2: just not right period. Why is the memory of a 53 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 2: bad event or a series of bad events going to 54 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 2: overwhelm the memory of equally powerful good events. So that's 55 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: number one. Why do we allow the bad memories to 56 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,559 Speaker 2: be so much stronger than the good memories? That's one 57 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: aspect here. Now number two forgetting bad memories. Let's take 58 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 2: the example of Nancy Reagan. We all know that she 59 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 2: had a dream marriage with Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan has died. 60 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 2: Now does Nancy Reagan? And I'm using her obviously solely 61 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 2: as an example. Does a person like that. But does 62 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 2: Nancy Reagan now does she derive any happiness from the 63 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,359 Speaker 2: memories of so many decades with the man she adored 64 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 2: and loved and cherished. And if the answer is no, 65 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 2: then you have to understand life adds up to nothing. 66 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 2: If memories don't matter, then then what do The only 67 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 2: thing we have is the present. Now, there may be 68 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 2: people who argue that all we have is the present, 69 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 2: but then it seems to me that you might as 70 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 2: well have have permanent Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's erases memory. When you 71 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: erase memory, you cease to be fully human. That's what 72 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: makes us human is that I do remember you, you 73 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 2: remember me, I remember loved ones, I remember loving experiences 74 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: if they That's why parents have pictures of their kids 75 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 2: as babies up. When I was a kid, I could 76 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 2: never I never understood. I'd go into my my father's 77 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 2: office in the house and I would see pictures of 78 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 2: me when I was three, or I would see my 79 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 2: first pair of shoes which were bronzed. That's a habit 80 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 2: that has happily gone by the wayside, and I'd actually 81 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 2: be embarrassed. What are those up there? If I'm not 82 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 2: three I'm eleven. Anyway, parents do it. We do it obviously, 83 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 2: who doesn't do it because of the memories that we cherish. 84 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 2: That's what pictures are for. If memories don't matter, why 85 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 2: take photos? What is the purpose of taking family photos? 86 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 2: You should only take pictures of buildings or or or 87 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 2: see beautiful scenes. We take pictures to have memories, so 88 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 2: that you relive that pleasant memory that that picture conjures up. 89 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 2: So I am arguing here that why it's a it's 90 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 2: a delicate balance. You can't only live in memory, although 91 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 2: I have to believe that under some horrific circumstances, you know, 92 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 2: you're put into a concentration camp and your presence is 93 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 2: so totally dark, that you live on memories that that's 94 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 2: the food of your soul. Yeah, memory has to be 95 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 2: a very important component of happiness, as much as you 96 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 2: have to live in the present, but as certainly as 97 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 2: you get older. That's why older people will reminisce. It's 98 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 2: not depressing, it's just a different of happiness. Younger people 99 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 2: with so many fewer memories. Obviously, what they do is 100 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 2: they imagine a bright future, as indeed they should. It 101 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 2: is something that obviously a young person should do. What 102 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 2: what what you know when you're when you're eighteen? What 103 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 2: do you You don't have a great storehouse of happy memories? 104 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 2: One eighth Prager seven seven six is the number. I'm 105 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 2: very curious to get your feedback on this. Do you agree? 106 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 2: Do you disagree? Can you provide me examples? One eight 107 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 2: Prager p R A g e R seven seven six. 108 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 2: That's eight seven seven two four three triple seven six 109 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 2: eight seven seven two four three seven seven seven six 110 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 2: on this edition of The Happiness Hour. I'm talking to 111 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 2: you about the role of memory, and you have to 112 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 2: cherish them. It makes perfect sense to do that. There's 113 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 2: nothing bleak or sad about happy remembrance. Those events happened, 114 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: they are real, you are now reliving them. What else 115 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 2: do you do if a loved one dies? Is that it? 116 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 2: That's it? The memories count for nothing. I can't think 117 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 2: of a more depressing idea in the human species. Well yeah, 118 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 2: well we had thirty years together, largely incredibly happy, but 119 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: now he she died, and that's it. Certainly, I even 120 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 2: believe that visa via child the most painful loss that 121 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 2: people do endure. So let's see what you have to say. 122 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 2: About this because we certainly know the power of bad memories, 123 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 2: although John and Denver on kN Us does not fully agree. 124 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: John Dennis Prager, thank you for calling. 125 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 3: Hi, Dennis, I hate to call only when only. 126 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 2: When No, no, no, that's a great time to call. 127 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 3: I heard you assert that you basically think bad memories 128 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 3: are maybe more powerful than good many people. 129 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,719 Speaker 2: We shouldn't allow that, But I do believe that. 130 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would maybe okay for many people sort of 131 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 3: qualifies it at all. 132 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 2: But I did say I didn't. I said that it shouldn't. 133 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: I said, my whole argument of this hour is that 134 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 2: the good memory should be at least as powerful. 135 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, because as my dad died of cancer, you know, 136 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 3: he wasted a way to nothing. The last year was horrible. 137 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 2: And yet oh no, no, that's different. 138 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,200 Speaker 3: Already that's fading, and the good takes over that. 139 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 2: Of course it should. I mean, that would be absurd 140 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: to think that your your biggest image of your dad 141 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 2: is the last two years of his fading. Right, of course, 142 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 2: But I wasn't referring to that. I was referring to 143 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: if you were I even gave the example if you 144 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 2: were abused as a child. We know how that memory 145 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,599 Speaker 2: ill affects your happiness. 146 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think part of that I found with 147 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: with my own patience. Part of that is because it 148 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 3: often leaves sort of a singular fear or a singular 149 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 3: you know, phobia in life. You know, a kid falls 150 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 3: from a high space and is left with fear, fights, or. 151 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 2: A child is right right, whatever, it. 152 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 3: Leads a specific fear. Agreed, the good memories which are 153 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 3: much more multifactorial. 154 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: Right. But then, all I'm saying, and I remember I said, 155 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 2: that's why the title of my book is app happiness 156 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 2: is a serious problem. Maybe the way the world is ordered, 157 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 2: bad memories have a deeper impact than good memories. 158 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a phenomenal book. By the way, I just 159 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 3: want to commend you on that. I read that about 160 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 3: a year ago. 161 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, thank you. 162 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 3: Phenomenal. 163 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 2: Well. I wasn't urging, I wasn't aching or plot plotting 164 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 2: for a compliment, but thank you. I just hope people 165 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 2: read it because I know I can affect their lives. 166 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 2: Thank you, John. It's great to hear from you. This, uh, 167 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 2: this question of this do happy memories add up? Here's 168 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: a question I would like to pose to you. Do 169 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 2: any of you have a overwhelmingly happy memories of from 170 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 2: your childhood, But are not happy now this? Uh? This? 171 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: Or or are for I'd love to know that, you see. 172 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm trying to put some order in 173 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 2: the use here for myself as well as for others. 174 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 2: In other words, is it a fairly good indicator of 175 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 2: later happiness to have had a childhood filled with happy memories? 176 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 2: We'll be back in a moment. You're listening to the 177 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 2: Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show one to eight 178 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 2: Praguer seven seven six, and I'm Dennis Prager. 179 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,679 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 180 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless wisdom. 181 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 2: This subject is of great interest to me, and it has. 182 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 2: It was not when I wrote my book. This actually 183 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,079 Speaker 2: is not in my book on happiness. This particular subject. 184 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 2: Wonder if I'll ever write a part two to happiness 185 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 2: is a serious problem. But I I as I get older. 186 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 2: Perhaps maybe that's that's part of the reason memories start 187 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 2: to taking on greater significance as you get older. I mean, 188 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 2: by definition they have to do, since you have so 189 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 2: many more of them. But no matter what your age, 190 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 2: the question that I'm raising of what is the significance 191 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 2: of happy memories to happiness has to be asked. Otherwise 192 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: nothing adds up. I mean, think about it just rationally now, 193 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 2: not emotionally. If happy, If happy experiences don't add up, 194 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 2: then emotional memory is pointless, and in effect we are 195 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 2: from the perspective of happiness, we all would have Alzheimer's, 196 00:12:56,080 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 2: we'd have no memory. And so that's why it seems 197 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 2: to me simply logical that you have to draw on 198 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 2: happy experiences. And that's where the mind comes in. And 199 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 2: I am a big believer that the mind plays as 200 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 2: large a role in your happiness as the emotions. Do 201 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 2: you hear me? It's unbelievably important. That's why I believe 202 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 2: you will happiness just as much as you feel happiness. 203 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 2: You will it, that's right. Yeah. You just don't sit 204 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 2: and wait for happy feelings. That is, in my book, 205 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 2: is a big part of it. You don't sit around 206 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,719 Speaker 2: and wait to feel happy, to be happy. You manufacture happiness, 207 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: of course you do. You have to otherwise you know, 208 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 2: when will you be bombarded with a happy feeling next 209 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 2: Tuesday at three o'clock? I mean, when does it happen. 210 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 2: It happens occasionally, but you can't rely on it. One 211 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:57,439 Speaker 2: of the ways in which happiness can be, if you will, manufactured, 212 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 2: is through utilizing happy memories. All right, let's go to 213 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 2: some more of your calls in Saint Cloud, Minnesota on 214 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 2: the Patriot. It's Dennis Dennis, Dennis Prager. 215 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 4: Hi, Hi, Dennis. 216 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 2: Hi. 217 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 4: Well, you were just asking about the nature of it. 218 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 4: Sounded like happiness versus negative emotions. Well, ideal with helping 219 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 4: people get over negative emotions every day. And my perception is, well, 220 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 4: what is your field psychotherapy? 221 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 2: Okay? 222 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 4: And the happiness is a natural state of mind is 223 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 4: whereas negative emotions which are our unconscious mind trying to 224 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 4: deal with a situation that creates unhappiness and the inability. 225 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 2: Do you think that happiness is the natural state of 226 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: the mind. 227 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 4: Absolutely. When I work with someone, after I've worked with 228 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 4: them and I've eliminated the negative emotions, they are left 229 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 4: with a happy state of mind. 230 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 2: So that's interesting. So you wouldn't agree with the title 231 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 2: of my book. Happiness is a serious problem, And that's okay, 232 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 2: But I'm just for you more. 233 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 4: Unhappiness is a serious problem. 234 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, And I understand whatever. Yeah, I when 235 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 2: I look at a baby, though, I don't think that 236 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 2: there's a naturally happy state. I think of a baby 237 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 2: as having to overcome a vast amount of obstacles to 238 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 2: be happy, insecurity, hunger, thirst, darkness, tiredness, helplessness. 239 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 4: Well as as we experience every state of need. To 240 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 4: a negative emotion at the moment it happens, is trying 241 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 4: to resolve something. Now that is only something to spur 242 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 4: us to take some action to satisfy that need to 243 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 4: the extent that we do not not able to satisfy 244 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 4: it if we satisfy it at the moment it happens. 245 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 2: All right, Well, let me just ask you. 246 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 4: Negative is left You don't have to deal with it. 247 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 2: In a sentence or two? Do you? Why do you 248 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 2: think the role of happy memories are or should be 249 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 2: to happiness? 250 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 4: Is the anchor is to the reassurance that the world 251 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 4: is as a friendly place, that we have positive experiences 252 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 4: and we can connect. 253 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 2: Right, fair enough, All right, thank you so much, appreciate 254 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:21,160 Speaker 2: your call. Let's go to uh, you know somebody who 255 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 2: has lived a longer life for a moment here, Let's 256 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 2: go to Marta Martin San Diego. On k CBQ, Dennis Prager. 257 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 5: High, are you talking to me? 258 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 2: I am Martin, You're on. Yes, Yes, I. 259 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 5: Love your program, Thank you. And happiness is a serious business. 260 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 5: I just wanted to say that. You know, I'm a 261 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 5: lady of a certain age, and I feel that all 262 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 5: of the experiences of my life, unhappy, happy, whatever they were, 263 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 5: are the sum total of who I am today. 264 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: Right. Do you draw on those happy experiences for happiness? 265 00:16:59,720 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 6: Uh? 266 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:04,400 Speaker 5: Not necessarily. I draw on all my experiences because some 267 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 5: of my negative experiences can make me appreciate now how 268 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,439 Speaker 5: I overcame them. 269 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 2: And that's true. That's a good point. So then you 270 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 2: draw on both. Yes, But so memory plays a role 271 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 2: in your happiness. 272 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 5: Absolutely, and I've deed that. It's such a good thing 273 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 5: that I have that I'm writing it all down for 274 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 5: my children as a set of memoir. 275 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I deeply believe in that, Martha, and I know 276 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: I've told you many many times, my listeners. My father 277 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 2: is doing that. It's writing a very serious autobiography, I 278 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 2: might add, at my urging for many years, and it 279 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 2: is a blessing. And there from what he tells me, 280 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 2: and my father is eighty almost eighty six and he 281 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: tells me that this is a great source of a 282 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 2: joy in his life, writing his autobiography. Now that's a 283 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 2: great example of where reliving is. Experiencing memories is such 284 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 2: a positive inducer of happiness. And I would not have 285 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 2: talked this way maybe a few years ago. But as 286 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 2: I meet people with great losses, people who have lost 287 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,399 Speaker 2: their you know, a loved husband for example, widows, and 288 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 2: I think, or people God forbid lose, and it's God 289 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 2: forbid in either case, but lose their child. And I 290 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 2: and then I think, all of all that pain and 291 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 2: as it is, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's it's devastating. 292 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 2: But cannot the good memories provide some degree of solace? 293 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 2: Is every In other words, if they don't, and I 294 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 2: don't agree that they don't, that's my point to you. 295 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 2: That's why I'm talking. My view of happiness. I'm repeating 296 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 2: myself only because of its urgency. My view of happiness 297 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 2: is that the mind induces it. It is not only 298 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 2: a feeling. And if your mind can can't induce it, 299 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 2: and you're only relying on happy feelings, you are doomed 300 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 2: to unhappiness and depression. Feelings alone feelings are critically important, 301 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 2: but they are shaped by our mind. That's the power 302 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 2: the mind can tell you. Look, I'll give you an 303 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 2: example how the mind tells you. A doctor coming over 304 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 2: to you with an need needle is does not cause 305 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 2: you unhappiness. A torturer coming over with a needle does, 306 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,120 Speaker 2: because the mind has context in which to put it. 307 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 2: The pain of childbirth, i am told, is quite severe, 308 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 2: but a half amount of that pain that is not 309 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 2: desired is far more painful. The mind tells you how 310 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,719 Speaker 2: to react to events with what degree of happiness, with 311 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 2: what degree of welcoming. And the mind can take the 312 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: memories of one's life and do with it what it wills, 313 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 2: And it must contribute. I mean think it's pathetic if 314 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 2: it doesn't think about it. You've lived X number of 315 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 2: years and it adds up emotionally to nothing. It only 316 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 2: matters what happens today. Now. I believe you should live 317 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 2: in the present, very much so. But it's absurd to 318 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 2: argue the other way. As I said, we would all 319 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 2: be having emotional Alzheimer's back in the moment, I'm Dennis Prager. 320 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,439 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 321 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,679 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 322 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 2: All right, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, 323 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 2: and the question on the table here on this this 324 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 2: is the Happiness Hour. Every week at this time I 325 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 2: discuss the subject of happiness with you, and it is 326 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 2: the role of memory. Do memories matter? Is the only 327 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 2: thing that matters to your happiness? What is happening to 328 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 2: you at this moment? And I have to tell you 329 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: that it is actually depressing to think that that would 330 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,959 Speaker 2: be the case for anyone, that the only thing that 331 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 2: matters is the present. What it means is that the 332 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 2: present won't matter a minute from now. If memories don't matter, 333 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: then the present doesn't matter later because that the present 334 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 2: later is a memory obviously, So it's it's it's I mean, 335 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 2: think about it. If your memory were wiped out, would 336 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 2: you be would how would you be any different then 337 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 2: than if you don't count your memories for your happiness. 338 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 2: By the way, bad memories may serve a positive purpose. 339 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 2: As was pointed out by one of the callers, bad 340 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 2: memories affect us negatively, but they can also affect us 341 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 2: positively if we have overcome them, and then we look 342 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 2: at where our life is now, and we celebrate it. 343 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 2: On the other hand, you can have happy memories look 344 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 2: at where your life is now, and then get depressed. 345 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 2: So it's everything is double edged because whatever you use 346 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 2: for good, you could use for bad. That's why the 347 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,639 Speaker 2: point is you manufacture your happiness. Abraham Lincoln put it. 348 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 2: I caught them in many of my talks on happiness. 349 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 2: We are as happy as we decide. You are as 350 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 2: happy as you decide to be. I have found that 351 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 2: to be a truer and truer as I get older. 352 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 2: It is a decision, and it is an art. There 353 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 2: is an art to happiness. When I was a kid, 354 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 2: I read I read a book titled The Art of Loving, 355 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: where where to be a loving human being was was 356 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,119 Speaker 2: was depicted as a as an art, that one works 357 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 2: at it, and I think it's I think there's a 358 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 2: lot of truth to that. But the same holds true 359 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:56,159 Speaker 2: without question with regard to happiness. That that even more so, 360 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 2: not even more so, that absolutely clearly is an art. Alrighty, 361 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 2: let's go to more of your calls in Porterville, California, 362 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 2: K tip k t I P. Fourteen fifty. Hello, Beverly 363 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 2: Dennis Praeger. 364 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 7: Oh, good morning, Dennis. I was just this is a topic. 365 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,679 Speaker 7: It has a lot of serendip in it. For me, 366 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 7: my husband and I are dealing with two quite elderly 367 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 7: parents when his one mine, his aging parent who's ninety two, 368 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 7: seems to be able to bring up good memories from 369 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 7: the past to erase all these dreadful physical things that 370 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 7: are happening to him. And it seems that no matter 371 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 7: what he goes through, we visit and he thanks us 372 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 7: for coming. He's has not complained and they at all 373 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 7: during the light last grueling eight months period of terrible 374 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 7: physical challenges. The other parent we deal with daily seems 375 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 7: to not be able to bring up the good memories 376 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 7: in the past and just looks at the present and 377 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 7: even when something good happens, is just saying, oh, why 378 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880 Speaker 7: did this have to happen to me? So I think 379 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,439 Speaker 7: there's some sort of enlightenment or a spark of intelligence, 380 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 7: or's something that needs to be there for a person 381 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 7: to get that good balance. 382 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,959 Speaker 2: Well, Beverly, that's the reason that I'm raising the topic, 383 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 2: because people must be made aware of what they need 384 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 2: to do in order to be happy. It's not just 385 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 2: about memories. About everything. We think that it happens. If 386 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 2: something people think, happiness happens. Happiness is created, right, right, 387 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 2: Well you gave a great example, Beverly, Thank you so much. Okay, 388 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,880 Speaker 2: take care. No, that's that's right. If there you have 389 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 2: just two people, one deciding to do X with memories 390 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 2: and one deciding to look at the present only, and 391 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: obviously it suffers, by the way, that's what That's what 392 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 2: children do. Did you ever notice that that is what 393 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:55,680 Speaker 2: children do? They when a child children's moods? Right, Most 394 00:24:55,800 --> 00:25:01,679 Speaker 2: children's moods of happiness vary regularly constantly. If they're on 395 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: a roller coaster, boy are they happy? But if they 396 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 2: have to go to bed, boy are they unhappy? Now? 397 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 2: Why is that? And one reason is there are many reasons, 398 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 2: but one major reason is because there's no perspective in 399 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 2: their in their life little brain about happiness. Well, I 400 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 2: have to go to bed, but so what I mean, 401 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: it's been a great day? Can you can you say that? Oh? 402 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 2: Don't you ever say that? You never say to your 403 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 2: young kid, oh, wasn't it a great day? And when 404 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 2: they're in a bed, well are you kidding? You don't 405 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,440 Speaker 2: even know what you're talking about? It was a great day, 406 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 2: So what and yet we do it perhaps with our life. 407 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: Wasn't it a great life? So what? Wasn't it a 408 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 2: great year? Wasn't it a great day? Whatever it might be, 409 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 2: we're we are all children emotionally, but we have the 410 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 2: capacity to become adults if we choose to be an adult. 411 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,040 Speaker 2: Back in a moment. One eighth Praguer, seven seven six. 412 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 2: I'm Dennis Praguer. This is the Happiness Hour on the 413 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager Show. I've raised hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds 414 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 2: of subjects over the course of many years doing the 415 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 2: Happiness Hour. I don't think, though, that I've raised a 416 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 2: more complex one than this one. The role of memories 417 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 2: in your happiness. The phone number is eight seven seven 418 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 2: two four three triple seven six eight seven seven two 419 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 2: four three seven seven seven six or one eight Prager 420 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 2: seven seven six. I was thinking of Nancy Reagan. She 421 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 2: does she derive any happiness now or over the years, 422 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:58,200 Speaker 2: with Ronald having left an all but his physical manifestation, 423 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,000 Speaker 2: But does she derive with him dead? Now? Does she 424 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 2: derive any happiness from their memories? Or it is looking 425 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 2: or maybe looking at the pictures of the happy of 426 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 2: those happy years. Maybe they just fill her with grief 427 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 2: over watching can no longer have with him. That's the question. 428 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 2: I have to believe that memory must play a role it, 429 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 2: as I keep saying, Otherwise, life doesn't add up to anything. 430 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 2: Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe we have to 431 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,719 Speaker 2: be big enough to acknowledge it. But I don't think 432 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 2: it's big. I think it's immature. Children don't let memories 433 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 2: add up. Everything is the now. If I'm if I'm 434 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 2: on a roller coaster, I'm happy. If I have to 435 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 2: do homework, I'm unhappy. I would hope that we have 436 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,560 Speaker 2: our ability to do U do better than that. Let's 437 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: go to Matt Matt Irvine, Irvine, California, eight seventy k 438 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 2: r LA. Hello, Dennis Prager, Dennis, Yes, yes, sir. 439 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 8: Hey, I just want to let you know that my 440 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 8: memories of my father and my life has grown sweeter 441 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 8: over the years, as opposed to my brothers who have 442 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,919 Speaker 8: nothing but mostly did nim things to say about my father. 443 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 8: And but it's is I've gotten older. I remember all 444 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 8: the sweet things of the family, vacations and even even church. 445 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 8: But I believe that you do have a choice. You 446 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 8: can either pick the better ones or or rest on 447 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 8: the on the happy ones. And I chose to rest 448 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 8: on the happy ones, and you know, pass on to 449 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 8: my children. And the other thing I wanted to say, too, 450 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 8: is I appreciate the coming you said about I believe 451 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 8: it was your son who said when you think it 452 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 8: was I think his graduation for being happy. 453 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, no, no, my big birthday party. Yeah, yeah, 454 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 2: that's right. 455 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,959 Speaker 8: That had an impact on me. I want to I 456 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 8: want my son to say not only that both things, 457 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 8: but but that. 458 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,600 Speaker 2: That's rights more important to me. That's that's beautiful. Thank 459 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 2: you for telling me that. Yes, Bye, Matt, you very much, Tennis, 460 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 2: You're welcome. Yeah. I had mentioned that my fiftieth birthday 461 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:09,479 Speaker 2: party the one big birthday party I have ever wanted, 462 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 2: because I thought fifty is an issue. It is, and 463 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 2: my son, then a teenager, would got up and I 464 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 2: didn't know why say, and he said, I want to 465 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 2: thank my father for being a happy man. Being a 466 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 2: happy dad meant a lot to me. It's a big 467 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 2: deal to be in a home with happy people. It's 468 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 2: a very big deal. One a prager seven seven six. 469 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 2: The question on the table is memories and do they 470 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 2: add up, and again I have to tell you, Idle, 471 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 2: I tend toward the position that happiness is largely, though 472 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 2: not entirely, a decision. That it is not. I mean, 473 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 2: there are people who have ideal circumstances and they're unhappy, 474 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 2: so it can't. It's one thing that is clear to me, 475 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 2: and this is in my book. Circumstances do not determine 476 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 2: a lot of people's happiness. A lot of people have 477 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 2: happy circumstances and they're unhappy. A lot of people have unhappy, 478 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 2: unhappy circumstances, and somehow they maintain happiness. But then there 479 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 2: is the issue of memory. Now, I'll tell you it 480 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 2: may well be that the ones in happy circumstances who 481 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 2: were not happy may well have unhappy memories that are 482 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 2: clouding their ability. That's why doctor Marmer, the psychiatrist that 483 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 2: I have regularly on this this hour, the Happiness Hour, 484 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 2: speaks about how significant the happy childhood is in later happiness. 485 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 2: So obviously we tap into that later in life. It does, 486 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 2: it gives us something. Let's go to Gene in Philadelphia 487 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 2: on w NTP in Philly, and and Gene, what's happened here? 488 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 2: Is it? Genie? You on I'm here, Okay. Great. 489 00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 9: I know that having had a very happy childhood that 490 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 9: has gotten me through a tremendous amount of difficult times 491 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,719 Speaker 9: and challenges in my adulthood. And and I know that 492 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 9: close friends who have not had such a happy childhood 493 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 9: find it hard to find that optimism for their future. 494 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,440 Speaker 2: That's a big deal. Is a great call. 495 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 9: Yeah, they just they don't know how good life can be, sority, 496 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 9: and so they say what they just can't imagine what 497 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 9: life would be like otherwise. And I have that privilege, 498 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 9: I guess of knowing from my memory. And you know, 499 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,800 Speaker 9: it's kind of kind of like a micro version of 500 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 9: that is Christmas remains my favorite holiday, and even though 501 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 9: in adulthood it never matches up to what I had 502 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 9: as a child, and it's I look forward to it 503 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 9: all year long and it's always sort of a disappointment, 504 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 9: but I continue to look forward to it because of 505 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 9: the memories. 506 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 2: That's the experience that is so powerful that that's great, 507 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 2: It's a great call. Thank you so much. Woo. I 508 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 2: think that's a lot of truth to that. Wow. Puts 509 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 2: a lot of burden on parents to try to make kids' 510 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 2: childhood happy, doesn't it and I'm thinking about that. Yeah, yeah, well, 511 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 2: but it certainly is an argument about the power of memory. 512 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:28,479 Speaker 2: Upland Color Upland, California and eight seventy Caroline Nadan, Dennis Prager, 513 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 2: Helena Dean, Hi. 514 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 6: Dennis, wonderful, wonderful question. 515 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 2: Thank you. 516 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 6: Absolutely believe it has a lot to do with the 517 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 6: strength of my will that I have good memories. But 518 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 6: it's it's more about good memories than happy memories. And 519 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 6: I don't know if maybe when I was. 520 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 2: A child, what's the difference between a good memory and 521 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 2: a happy memory. 522 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,720 Speaker 6: I've had a lot of hardship, you know, my share 523 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 6: of hardship and pain in my life, but I tend 524 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:06,520 Speaker 6: to remember the lesson of the experience. I've learned to 525 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 6: appreciate my experience more the good outcome. 526 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 2: Well, what you've taken from it is what matters more 527 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 2: than what happened. It's a very that's been mentioned, but 528 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 2: you've said it. Well. Well, I'll be back in a moment. 529 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 2: Final segment of the Happiness Hour coming up. 530 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 531 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 532 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager, Hair final segment of The Happiness Hour. Don't 533 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 2: forget next hour, by the way, and as soon as 534 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 2: this hour is up, you can start calling in any 535 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:49,400 Speaker 2: subject on your mind, any anything you'd like to talk about. 536 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:56,560 Speaker 2: I'm silent because I'm meditating here and radio is normally 537 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 2: not a time for meditations, and silence tends to lose listeners. 538 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,640 Speaker 2: But I got to tell you this is a big 539 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 2: one worthy of a lot of thought. How much do 540 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 2: memories contribute to happiness? My theory is, as I tell you, 541 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 2: that if they don't, then we all have emotional Alzheimer's, 542 00:34:16,279 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 2: and that life doesn't add up to a hill of beans. 543 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: And I can't believe that, and I refuse to believe that, 544 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 2: and I have made a decision not to believe that 545 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 2: it has to matter. Jeff and fort Worth, Texas the 546 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 2: case guy in Fort Worth, Jeff Dennis Prager High. 547 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 10: Hi really enjoy your show. I really enjoyed listening to 548 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 10: The Happiness Hour above everything else. 549 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 2: Well, thank you. 550 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:45,439 Speaker 10: You make Thomas earlier about how children's memories interplay with 551 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 10: their ability to be happy. 552 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,799 Speaker 2: You mean as adults, they don't interplay as there when 553 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 2: they're children. 554 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 10: Well, well, what I was going to allude to was 555 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 10: that I have a two year old and at bedtime 556 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 10: I try to encourage what I hope to be a 557 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:07,440 Speaker 10: lifelong tool for her happiness. Being a very critical priority 558 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,839 Speaker 10: of mind that I hope to pass on is that 559 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 10: at bedtime is always a very depressing time for her 560 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 10: as a two year old. Already, Yes, and I'll very 561 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,879 Speaker 10: quickly try to convert basically use up as an opportunity 562 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 10: to tell her, well, let's rehearse to today what you've 563 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 10: done that really really enjoyed, the things that really made 564 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 10: you happy? And and she is very receptive to that. 565 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 10: She and it really gets through Blood's idea, I mean 566 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 10: basically because she's always starts off in tears like oh 567 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,080 Speaker 10: it was a little bit, and I'm like, well, Chelsea, 568 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 10: just just again, what did you do today that was enjoyable? 569 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 10: And as she was younger, I had to do it 570 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 10: flat before her because being so young. But she's getting 571 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,879 Speaker 10: to the age now that she is that she's she's 572 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 10: a participant in this, and she comes up with things 573 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 10: of the day, well I got to do this, I've 574 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 10: guided that. 575 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 2: And and and and it calms her down, tell it 576 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 2: makes her, It makes her flatly happy. Wow, that's a 577 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 2: powerful call. Thank you, Jeff, I got to take Okay, 578 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 2: thank you, that's that's very powerful. I want that's a 579 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 2: great idea. I wish I had done that with my kids. Well, 580 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 2: what happened happy today? Of course there are kids will 581 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 2: say nothing. You know, there's no question about it. What 582 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,080 Speaker 2: do you mean, what happened happy today? I'm going to 583 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 2: bed and I don't want to go to bed. Don't 584 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 2: bother me with happy memories. But there are a lot 585 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:34,359 Speaker 2: of people who are adults like that. Well, I hope 586 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,239 Speaker 2: I leave you with a very significant idea about the 587 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,320 Speaker 2: importance of memories. Otherwise, as I say, it doesn't matter 588 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,080 Speaker 2: whatever happens. Jeff, Paul, Helen, Eric, the other lines that 589 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,160 Speaker 2: I don't see the names I wish I could have 590 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 2: gotten your calls. Don't go away. You're listening to the 591 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,279 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager Show. 592 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennispragger 593 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,240 Speaker 1: dot Com for thousands of hours off Dennis's lectures, courses, 594 00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. 595 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennisprager 596 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: dot Com for thousands of hours off Dennis's lecturers, courses, 597 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational 598 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 1: Bible