1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: Life Audio. There comes a point in every season when 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: we look at our lives and quietly wonder is this 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: pace really working. We're exhausted by our scattered thoughts and 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,959 Speaker 1: our tired bodies. We feel the strain of trying to 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: hold everyone and everything together, hoping it will somehow feel 6 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: easier at some point. Hi, friends, I'm gem Faddling and 7 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: this is the Unhurried Living podcast where we inspire you 8 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: to rest deeper, live fuller, and lead better. Today I 9 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: want to talk about a gentler way forward. Not a 10 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: perfect life, not a balanced life, but a life shaped 11 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,959 Speaker 1: by grace and grounded in rhythm. After a word from 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: our sponsor, we'll dive into our conversation for today. How 13 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: often have you heard someone say something like this, I'm 14 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: just trying to live about life. If I can keep 15 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: things in balance, everything's going to work out well. You 16 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: may or may not agree with me here, but I 17 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: don't think true balance is achievable. When we picture balance, 18 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: we often imagine that classic scale with two identical weights 19 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: on either side. But our lives are not made up 20 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: of two tidy elements that sit quietly in place. If 21 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: we were to use the image of a scale, it 22 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: would be one with multiple plates dangling at different lengths, 23 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: each plate piled with something important our families, our friendships, 24 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: our work, the needs of our bodies, our spiritual lives, 25 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,839 Speaker 1: our emotional health, and we are expected to adjust every 26 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: single plate until they all line up all at once. 27 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: I don't know of anyone who can keep that kind 28 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: of balance in any kind of ongoing way. My life 29 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: has rarely felt that clean or tidy. I have never 30 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: looked at my calendar or my relationships and thought, there 31 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: it is perfect balance. As much as I try, that 32 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: kind of equilibrium remains out of reach, solusive. And part 33 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: of the reason is that even though we make plans, 34 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: we don't have control over people or circumstances. Something unpredictable 35 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: always pops up. My car breaks down unexpectedly, a new 36 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: opportunity pops up, an important deadline shifts, a relational dynamic 37 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: takes more emotional energy than expected. Life is constantly moving 38 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: and changing, and because it does, the balance tips more often. 39 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: There are seasons when one part of our life asks 40 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: for more intention than the others. We fill the tug 41 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: so we serve where we need to, and over time, 42 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: if we're attentive, everyone and everything receives their turn, not perfectly, 43 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: but hopefully at least compassionately. So maybe it helps to 44 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: set the word balance to the side for a minute. 45 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: Maybe there's a different way to think about the flow 46 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: of our days if we try on the word rhythm, 47 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 1: or maybe even the word pattern. Rhythm feels less rigid, 48 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: less pressured, more aligned with how real life unfolds. You 49 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: can think of rhythms as the overall movements of your life. 50 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: You might have quiet moments and loud moments. You'll have 51 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: times of activity and maybe the hopefully there'll be times 52 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: of rest, times of giving, times of receiving, and through 53 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: it all runs a pattern that reflects what you actually value. 54 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: The key is to be sure you choose rhythms and 55 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: patterns that include versions of rest and refilling. Most people 56 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: let those go without a thought because there's always something 57 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: or someone to take care of. And remember there's an 58 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: ebb and flow to this. Sometimes the scale will tip 59 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: in one direction for a bit, but you'll come upon 60 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: your planned recovery time and you'll keep yourself from tipping over. Ideally, 61 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: the healthy patterns you have in place will keep you 62 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: from becoming over exhausted or burnout. And this takes some planning, 63 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: of course, I admit it. But truly, good things rarely 64 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: happen without forethought preparation, do they. We do this because 65 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: life isn't tidy. We make plans and we carry them out. 66 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: We also face circumstances that insert themselves without permission. So 67 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: let's ask ourselves a few grounding questions. Here. I'm going 68 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: to offer four questions, and hopefully they can reorient us 69 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: toward the patterns and rhythms we desire. So here are 70 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: some four questions. I encourage you, at some point make 71 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 1: time to journal or to pray about these, but I'm 72 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: just going to give them to you. Now. What will 73 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: it take to sustain the life I'm living? How will 74 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,799 Speaker 1: I care for my soul so that I don't deplete myself? Okay, 75 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: many of us care for others before we care for ourselves, 76 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: But the Great Commandment has built into it the necessary 77 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: step of caring for our actual It says love your 78 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: neighbor as yourself. A healthy love of yourself is the 79 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 1: foundation of authentic love for others. It's not selfish because 80 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: you can't give what you don't have. Discerning ways to 81 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: love and care for yourself, in all areas of life, 82 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: serves others in a very real way. Second question, you 83 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: can ask, who are the actual people and responsibilities in 84 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: my life? How do I desire to love and serve them? 85 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: And are they receiving the best version of me? Well, 86 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: this is a great little set of questions to ask 87 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: because it brings the focus back to people and in 88 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: the end, relationships are the most important connections we have, 89 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: whether it's at home or at work. Give yourself the 90 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: space to discern if you are available to those that 91 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: matter most and in the ways you truly desire. Third question, 92 00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: what might be good to embrace afresh and maybe alternately, 93 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: what has served its purpose and can now be released. 94 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: Our lives have seasons, some responsibilities remain for decades, and 95 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: others finish their work and need just a gentle goodbye. 96 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: It's important to make time for reflection, to notice what 97 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: is new and worthy to add to your calendar, as 98 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: well as what can be released. And the fourth question, 99 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: how am I willing or how willing am I to 100 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: make the changes that lead toward healthier patterns? Again, how 101 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: willing am I to make the changes that lead toward 102 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: healthier patterns? Even small changes require courage and planning, and 103 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: sometimes our healthy choices require disappointing someone, maybe even ourselves, 104 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: but healthy rhythms and patterns that bring refreshment are central 105 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: to a more sustainable life. These questions invite some real discernment. 106 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: All of these questions ask us to pause. They ask 107 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: us to stop moving long enough to see what it's 108 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: actually happening inside of us. And the answers may come 109 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: quickly or slowly, and the real challenge begins when we 110 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: try living into what we discern and decide to do. 111 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: Change always takes time, and letting something go can feel painful, 112 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: even if we know it will make our lives healthier. 113 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: Yet most of us know what it feels like to 114 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: be whipped around by constant demands and expectations, to feel 115 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: tugged in every direction as though held on a leash, 116 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: to feel behind before the day even begins, or to 117 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: feel tired in a way that sleep alone can't fix. 118 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: If that's where you find yourself, let this moment be 119 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: a gentle nudge, not a push, just maybe a whisper 120 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: of permission. You don't have to overhaul everything at once. 121 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: In fact, please don't one small, gracious shift at a 122 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: time is enough, one new habit, one new boundary, one 123 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: honest conversation, and one moment of wrath. Over time, these 124 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: small choices begin reshaping the rhythm of your life. A 125 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 1: balanced life, well, maybe that's not the goal after all, 126 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: But an unhurried life is possible. It's a life rooted 127 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: in God's presence rather than your own pressure. A life 128 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: that moves at the pace of grace, A life that 129 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: allows your soul to breathe and your relationships to flourish. 130 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: And as always, it begins one small, simple and gracious 131 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: step at a time. So I'm going to give you 132 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: here at the end, I'm going to say the questions again. 133 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 1: You can write them out, sit with them in prayer, 134 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: write them in your journal, talk with a friend or 135 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: a pastor or a spiritual director. Sometimes clarity comes when 136 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: we can share what's swirling around inside of us. Here's 137 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: the questions again. What will it take to sustain the 138 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: life I'm living? And how will I care for my 139 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: soul so that I don't deplete myself? Second, who are 140 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: the actual people and responsibilities in my life? And how 141 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: do I desire to love and serve them? Are they 142 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: actually receiving the best version of me? Number three? What 143 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: might be good to embrace afresh and what is no 144 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: longer serving me that I can let go? Number four? 145 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: How willing am I to make the changes that bring 146 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: about healthier patterns in my life? My prayer for you 147 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: is that you will find patterns that keep your heart 148 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: near God's and allow you to be an unhurried influence 149 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: in the places where you have been called to love 150 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: and to serve. Blessings to you as you make your way. 151 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: Thank you for. 152 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 2: Joining me on the Unheard Living podcast. You can download 153 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 2: free resources and learn more about us at Unhurried Living 154 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 2: dot com, and please subscribe and share this podcast with 155 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 2: your friends and colleagues. We'd also like to thank our 156 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,359 Speaker 2: partner Life Audio. Check out their other faith centered podcasts 157 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 2: at lifeaudio dot com. 158 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: Blessings to you as you make your way.