1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: What does it look like to actually walk out restoration, 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 2: but not just restoration, radical restoration within our own lives, 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: within the relationships that we never thought God could redeem. 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,079 Speaker 2: We're gonna be talking about all of that and more 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 2: with my guests today. Hello. Hello, Hello, ladies and gents, 7 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 2: and welcome to this week's episode of the Bottom Beloved Podcast. 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 2: As always, it's a girl Kirby Kelly back at it again. 9 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 2: We are in just like a huge season of having 10 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 2: guests on and that's because your girl is about to 11 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 2: pop one out, about to have a baby. So some 12 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 2: of these episodes have been recorded beforehand, but that does 13 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 2: not mean that these episodes aren't amazing and filled with 14 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: amazing guests. And I have the incredible honor you've probably 15 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: heard some of his music before, but maybe you haven't 16 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 2: heard a story. I have Stephen mcwerder joining me here 17 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: on the podcast today to talk all about how God 18 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 2: has just completely and radically restored his life in more 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 2: ways than one. And he actually wrote a book on it. 20 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 2: It recently came out. Y'all can go check it out. 21 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 2: It's available. I will link it down below. His book 22 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: is called Radically Restored, How knowing Jesus heals are brokenness. 23 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 2: Can I get a ment to that? But he's joining 24 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 2: us on the pod to dive a little deeper into 25 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: sharing that story with all of you who are listening today. 26 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: So sit back, relax and listen, and Steven, welcome to 27 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 2: the podcast. Can can you just let everybody know who 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 2: you are, what you do, what you're passionate about for 29 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 2: those who don't know you. 30 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, I'm a human, I have face, I have 31 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 3: two hands. 32 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 2: We love it. 33 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 34 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 3: No, you know, I've been doing music and ministry for many, 35 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 3: many many years now, songwriter. 36 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: With you know, Capital Records and releasing music regularly as 37 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: an artist. 38 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 3: I think probably the thing that God use the most 39 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 3: was letting me and my wife write the song Comes 40 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 3: Jesus Come. 41 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: And then He's used that in some really really big ways. 42 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 3: And we've done a lot of traveling over the years, 43 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 3: and we've you know, my testimony of which we'll talk 44 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 3: a little bit more in a minute, but you know, 45 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 3: going from like addiction to redemption. I've shared my testimony 46 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 3: on tour, big stages, you name it. We've seen thousands 47 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 3: of people come to Jesus. It's been awesome and that's really. 48 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 3: The longer I do this, the more I'm like, the 49 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 3: only stat that matters is the most really. 50 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: Is just people coming to Jesus. That's it. 51 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 3: People matter, right, And yeah, So it's been a whild 52 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 3: journey over the years of just watching God like do 53 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 3: all this stuff. And I'm telling you what, when you 54 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 3: said Steven's written a book, It's like, oh my gosh, 55 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 3: what this was like the craziest act of obedience because 56 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 3: if you've never written a book, and maybe have you 57 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 3: written a book, yeah, okay, but then you know, I'm 58 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 3: not a book writer like it says author now. But 59 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 3: I don't feel like I'm allowed to carry that mantle 60 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 3: because it's like a thousand It feels like a thousand, 61 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 3: you know, like papers for like college. Yes, literally, I 62 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 3: think I sit in like the first draft and they're like, 63 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 3: this is great, we need like twenty thousand more words. 64 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: I was so real. 65 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 3: I's like and I opened the door and I walked 66 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 3: through the door. No, no, I'm just kidding, But it's 67 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,559 Speaker 3: like it was a really it was a wild. 68 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: Experience getting to write this story. 69 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 3: And I'm already just the conversations I've had with like 70 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: people about it has already opened. 71 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: A lot of doors. 72 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 3: And again I've been sharing it from stages in this 73 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 3: real succinct testimony alter call away. 74 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: But this is different. 75 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 2: So what was it? Just like the Lord that put 76 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 2: it on your heart of Hey, I want you to 77 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 2: write this down in a book, Like how did you 78 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 2: get to that point? Because you said it was a 79 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 2: real act of obedience for you to do that. 80 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know the Lord in so many ways over 81 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 3: the years, I've had a lot of people say, oh 82 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 3: my gosh, you need to do this, you need to 83 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 3: do this. And you know, there's a lot of prophetic people. 84 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 3: You know, they'll always say things and you're like, okay, 85 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: maybe I've heard that before. That could be the Lord. 86 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 3: I don't know. My favorite is you'll go to the nations. 87 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 3: That's the throwaway when it's like okay, yeah, got it now, 88 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. But I'm sorry, that's that sounds terrible. 89 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 3: I believe in the prophetic. That makes me sound terrible, 90 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 3: but uh yeah. So you know, I had a lot 91 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 3: of people go, you should write a book. CAD's gonna 92 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 3: use it. I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, but I was 93 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 3: doing a thing, you know, part of my testimony, which 94 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 3: we'll talk about a minute. You know, was I read 95 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 3: this book Case for Christ by at least Struble, and 96 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,160 Speaker 3: I was at an event with Lee and we'd become 97 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 3: friends and Mark Middleberg, who's another author and a friend 98 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 3: of Lee's, and I remember being like, you know what, 99 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 3: I think, I'm just gonna write my story down in 100 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 3: like a really short version and like a book and 101 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 3: just give it a way to all the followers that 102 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 3: God's kind of brought along. And I was gonna have 103 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: Lee and Mark write a little something at the front 104 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 3: of it to kind of tie it together. And they 105 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 3: honestly really encourage me to be like, no, no, no, you 106 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 3: need to like write a book and do this, and 107 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 3: so pretty wild. 108 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: You know, that's such a full circle moment, especially knowing 109 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 2: just how much like Lee's book specifically played a role 110 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 2: in your story. 111 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 3: And I know a lot of people say that about 112 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 3: a lot of people say that about his book, but 113 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 3: you know my story again. You know, my dad was 114 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 3: an evangelist. I grew up in church camps all that 115 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 3: kind of stuff, but my dad was physically abusic, with 116 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 3: my mom behind doors. Very just a lot of hypocrisy 117 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 3: that I saw growing up made me hate Jesus. So 118 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 3: eleven years old addiction, you know, started down this path 119 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 3: for eleven years and it was like you name it. 120 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 3: At seventeen it was cocaine or seventeen it was crystal 121 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 3: meth actually, and I was using it every day many 122 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: many years. And somebody came and offered me this book 123 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 3: called The Case for Christ. And at this time I 124 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 3: hated Jesus, hated Christians like with a passion, like it 125 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 3: was crazy. 126 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: I was. 127 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 3: If you'd have known me, then you literally said, if 128 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 3: there's ever an enemy of the Cross, it's this guy. 129 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 3: And you know, so somebody offered me this book Case 130 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 3: for Christ by the Least Struble, and the fact that 131 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 3: I didn't like cuss him out, kick him out of 132 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 3: my house is probably the part of in the Red Seat. Yeah, 133 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 3: that's the miracle the story, to be honest with you. 134 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 3: But I said to the book and I was. 135 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: Like, cool, whatever, it could be a stupid thing. Three 136 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: it them in my room. It's like three o'clock in 137 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: the morning. 138 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 3: I'm literally of drugs on the side table next to me, 139 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 3: and I'm reading this book about Jesus. Right, I always say, 140 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 3: like nobody's playing softly and quietly in the corner and 141 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 3: making it sound you know, more spiritual. 142 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: And but you know, in this. 143 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 3: Moment, I really knew God was in the room, right, 144 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 3: And I just remember being like, I want to quit 145 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 3: all this addiction, all this darkness, all this depression and 146 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 3: all this stuff. I'm my gosh, it's so long, it 147 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 3: had been a part of my life. I couldn't imagine 148 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 3: who I was apart from it, right, So I was like, God, 149 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 3: I don't want to give you in my life, but 150 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 3: there's literally no way. And this is all just like 151 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 3: internal dialogue where I know He's there, right, And I 152 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 3: just remember this thought that I knew wasn't mine, right, 153 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 3: and it was Steve and you won't do it, I'll 154 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 3: do it, and it was the Lord right, And I 155 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 3: just remember, you know, like believe. Taking God is a 156 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 3: word in that moment, you know, Ephesians two eight says 157 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 3: you're saved by grace. This isn't something you can boast about. 158 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: It's a work of God, like God does it. But 159 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: there's something we can do, and it's John six twenty nine. 160 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 3: Jesus says, the only work the Father asks of you 161 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: is to believe and. 162 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: In that moment, That's what I did. 163 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 3: I believed him, like I believe I'm breathing air right now, 164 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: and I just thought I gave my life to Jesus 165 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 3: in that room. Literally went from just addiction to redemptions. Crazy, 166 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 3: And I just think back to that moment and many 167 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 3: more things happened later, like with. 168 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: Me, my dad. It's crazy. 169 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 3: The story of restoration and redemption, of what God does, 170 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 3: it's just it's kind of insane to think about. But 171 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 3: I think back to that moment in that room, like, 172 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 3: imagine you would come into me and go, hey, Steven, 173 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 3: twenty years ago whatever, Hey, in twenty years you're going 174 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 3: to write your story in the guy whose book you're reading, 175 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 3: he's going to write the forward. But God's going to 176 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 3: use your story to reach a bunch of people too. 177 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 3: It's just that kind of stuff where you're like, man, 178 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 3: God's real, Like yeah, it's all real, and it's amazing. 179 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 2: Only God can do it. It's like what I heard 180 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: this quote a couple months ago from one of my friends. 181 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 2: I don't know who said it originally, but my friend 182 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 2: told it to me. I'm like, that's brilliant, Just this 183 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 2: idea of like life only makes sense in reverse, Like 184 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 2: looking back, it's like how God, just like inner, weaves 185 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 2: everything to be repurposed, redeemed, restored to be like this. 186 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 2: It's like just a full circle moment where it's like 187 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 2: only God could have done that. And it's usually years 188 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 2: down the line, sometimes months, maybe even days of we're lucky, 189 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 2: but usually it's these years down the line that we 190 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 2: get a look back and be like, Wow, God, you 191 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 2: used everything for good. You were intentional in these moments 192 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:30,079 Speaker 2: where I completely discounted that you could do anything with it. 193 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: And I think that's just like the most the I 194 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 2: say this all the time on the podcast, I sound 195 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 2: like a broken record, but like my favorite aspect of 196 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 2: who God is is that he is a redeemer, Like 197 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 2: things end up coming together and being restored and redeemed 198 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: in some way, maybe not the way we expected, but 199 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 2: in some way, and it just testifies of how good 200 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 2: He is and how God he is. But let's dive 201 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 2: into that story of your dad, because I think that's 202 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 2: that is powerful, that is really relatable in many ways 203 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 2: of just how how your dad kind of lived this 204 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 2: double life and how that ended up projecting to your 205 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:11,599 Speaker 2: relationship with God. But how also through your own radical restoration. 206 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 2: There was a radical restoration in your relationship with your father, 207 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 2: so you can you can back up as far as 208 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 2: you want, but I would love for you to share 209 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 2: as much of that story as you want to share, 210 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 2: because I think that it's powerful and relatable on so 211 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 2: many levels to people. 212 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 213 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 3: No, totally, And I think some people, I don't know, 214 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 3: whatever age you or wherever you are in life, there's 215 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 3: never a point where you don't ask yourself, can God 216 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,080 Speaker 3: actually restore this thing? 217 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: Can God actually restore my. 218 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,839 Speaker 3: All these things that I've been hiding, all these things 219 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 3: that have been eating away at me, all these things 220 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:53,439 Speaker 3: that I think, there's no way I can come back 221 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 3: from this if I if I, if I actually drag 222 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 3: it out of the dark, if I actually drag it 223 00:10:58,880 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 3: out from. 224 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: Behind this door. 225 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 3: But the truth is those things have already been handled 226 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 3: in Jesus, and the enemy is trying to use it 227 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 3: to keep you from walking in to becoming. 228 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: Fully alive like the real you. 229 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 2: Yes, And. 230 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 3: I think that's part of like these kind of stories 231 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 3: that I'm about to share, like about my dad, about 232 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,719 Speaker 3: our pasts, about our traumas and stuff we just go 233 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 3: I'm gonna leave that there. I'm never gonna think about it. 234 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 3: I'm gonna bottle it up, I'm gonna let it fester. 235 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna like, everything's fine. But there's something, there's 236 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 3: a deep there's a deep healing God wants to do 237 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 3: in those relationships, in those in those things. 238 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: Right and if and if if what you said that life. 239 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 3: Only makes sense and reverse, then there's some things you 240 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 3: have to look back at and go, hey, this is 241 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 3: something that God wants to show me. What it's what 242 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 3: how he wants to use this for good. But you know, 243 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 3: with my dad, you you you see that and you go, 244 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 3: you know, it's one thing to grow up in like 245 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 3: the worst kind of scenarios in life and then to finally, 246 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 3: for the first time meet a Christian or something and 247 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 3: they're like perfect and they're great and they love you, 248 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 3: and you're like getting all these things you never got 249 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 3: from somebody that is Jesus and you're like, this is great. 250 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 1: But it's another thing when you're brought up around a 251 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 1: bunch of. 252 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 3: People saying they believe in Jesus and then you see 253 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 3: this guy doing something that is just so traumatic, you 254 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 3: know what I mean, with your mom and in this 255 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 3: situation where you're like, oh my gosh, this is there's 256 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,599 Speaker 3: no way that this God guy is real, that he's good. 257 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: You know. And so you know that created not only. 258 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 3: A wound with my earthly father, but a wound with 259 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 3: my heavenly father. So there was something even deeper connected 260 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 3: right to my dad and to all of us with 261 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 3: our parents. Sometimes there's this weird thing there, especially with 262 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 3: the father, you know, because there's something there's this there's 263 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: this broken lens about who God is that you kind 264 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 3: of see through that person, right. Anyways, you know, I 265 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 3: watched this with my dad, and as I went through 266 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 3: these years of addiction, which in hindsight life in reverse, 267 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 3: I would say a lot of it was me kind 268 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 3: of giving my mom and dad and everybody that I 269 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 3: knew in that world the middle finger. Right, It's just like, oh, yeah, 270 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 3: watch just how bad I could destroy my life and 271 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 3: ultimately it's your fault, and you know, and I'm just 272 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 3: coping in the most broken way. 273 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 1: And then you know, fast forward, I gave my life 274 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: to Jesus. 275 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 3: And by the way, when I gave my life to Jesus, 276 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 3: it had been like twelve years since my dad had 277 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 3: physically like touched my mom. And I'll be honest with you, 278 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 3: I wish my mom would have left my dad, which 279 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 3: I know is not a Christian thing to say, never divorce. 280 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 3: I get it, you know, but yeah, I mean, if 281 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 3: you're not safe, gets safe. I mean, I like this. 282 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 3: I don't condone it. I just always was like why why, 283 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 3: you know, But for whatever reason, my mom stayed with 284 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 3: my dad, and at this point in his life, he 285 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 3: hadn't touched her, and he had just hidden this thing. Right, 286 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 3: it was just like ate at him, and it made 287 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 3: him kind of a shell, even though he was trying 288 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 3: to make sense of it all. 289 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: And I remember when I gave my life to. 290 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 3: Jesus, one of the hardest things I felt like the 291 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 3: Lord asked me to do was forgiven my dad and 292 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 3: the idea that was unimaginable to me, Like just I mean, 293 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 3: like tense up your fists and just be like, no, 294 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do it. 295 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 1: This is not right. He does not deserve that. 296 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 3: And I just remember going to him and it was 297 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 3: the most unmagical, most awkward moment ever. There was no 298 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 3: music playing or a beam of light coming through the 299 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 3: window or birds landing on my shoulder. It was just 300 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 3: like I think I was like, Dad, I just won't 301 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 3: say I forgive you for all this stuff, blah blah blah. 302 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 3: And he looked at me like his entire universe, all 303 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 3: of reality he was crashing around him, and he just 304 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 3: like a deer in headlights, looked at me, and I 305 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 3: think I think he said okay or something or thank you, 306 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 3: and and I was just like. 307 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: Okay, bye, and I just got the guard and this 308 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: drove off. 309 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 3: You know, It's not like it was like it was 310 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 3: not nobody would put this in a movie, you know 311 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 3: what I mean. It was like, but I knew that 312 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 3: the Lord had done something in that moment that I 313 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 3: couldn't see. And I just remember going like heart rate 314 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 3: thing driving home, going oh my god, that was awful. 315 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: But okay, God, I did it. You know. I hope 316 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: you're happy. 317 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 3: Fast forward my my my wife or assumed to be wife, 318 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 3: you know. At that time, was like, hey, I feel 319 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 3: like another picture of this restoration is forgiveness process is 320 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 3: We're gonna let have your dad baptize us. And so 321 00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 3: my dad baptizes this and I'm like inside kick and 322 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 3: screaming about it. 323 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: The whole way, and you know, again. 324 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 3: My wife, who I'm starting get sick of at this point, 325 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 3: is like, hey, I want I want you. I want 326 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 3: your dad to perform our wedding ceremony. I'm like, oh 327 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 3: my gosh, this is never going to stop. And so, 328 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 3: uh yeah, my dad ends up performing our wedding ceremony. 329 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 3: And you know, at this point, now, my dad has 330 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 3: been passed from cancer for many years. I think it's 331 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 3: been almost twelve years now or eleven thirteen years. And 332 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 3: uh when my dad passed, I was in the hospital 333 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 3: room with him, you know, where Jesus, you know, Paul's 334 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 3: like our Peter's like, how many times should we forgive somebody? 335 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 3: And She's just like seventy seven times seven? And I 336 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 3: was like, that's a weird thing to say. It's like, 337 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 3: it's perfection and keep going like kind of a thing. 338 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 3: It's like a it's this complete but always happening thing, 339 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 3: right because of what we received on the cross, and 340 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 3: we want as human to hierarchy since and things that 341 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 3: we do and put them in there, and I get 342 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 3: why we do that, but on. 343 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: To Jesus at the foot of the cross. They all 344 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: look a lot alike and that's hard for us to imagine. 345 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 3: But I just remembered, you know, I was in this 346 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 3: hospital room and Dad, and he's gone through hospice, and 347 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,640 Speaker 3: at this point he's in a coma right Basically, he's 348 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 3: just like trying to breathe. 349 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: And if you've ever been. 350 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,679 Speaker 3: With somebody in a moment like that, when they're in 351 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 3: the hospice and it's it's just like there's that they're 352 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,679 Speaker 3: hanging on inside and they're waiting for some kind of 353 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 3: closure or something to let go, it's really really bizarre. 354 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 3: If you've ever gone through a hospice scenario, you know 355 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 3: what I'm talking about. 356 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 2: Yep. 357 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 3: Well, my mom had left the room for a moment, 358 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 3: and by the way, this was like crazy because she had. 359 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 1: Not left that room for like days. 360 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 3: And I happened to just be the only one in 361 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 3: this room as I watched my dad begin to just 362 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 3: like really struggle to take his breath, and I just 363 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 3: remember leaning into him one last time and whispering his ear, 364 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 3: I love you, Dad, and I forgive you, and then 365 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 3: I watched him take his last breath. And one thing 366 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 3: I will say, if you've ever watched somebody past, like 367 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,919 Speaker 3: literally watched somebody die, you literally almost can see like 368 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,120 Speaker 3: the soul leave this body and now there's just a shell. 369 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 3: Because just a minute ago someone was there and then 370 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 3: they're gone. It's like bizarre to me. And I just 371 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:40,919 Speaker 3: remember thinking, God, when I gave my life to you, 372 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 3: and when you give your life to Jesus, anybody listening, 373 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,919 Speaker 3: and he begins to restore in this process, like you 374 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 3: give your life to Jesus. It's like this pebble that 375 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 3: falls in the ocean and begins to ripple out and 376 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,159 Speaker 3: become a tsunami of redemption and restoration that starts to 377 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 3: hit the parts of your life that you weren't even 378 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 3: thinking about, because you were probably just thinking if I 379 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 3: could just be sober, I just get a good job 380 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 3: and be okay and be normal and just get by 381 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 3: and everything's okay, great. You see God works in this way. 382 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,719 Speaker 3: That's like it's this ripple effect of hitting all these things. 383 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 3: And here I am, now, you know, sharing this story, 384 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 3: and I pray it keeps rippling. I pray that somebody 385 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 3: hears it and the Lord begins to unlock what is 386 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 3: on the other side of of forgiveness. 387 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: For them, what is on the other side of restoration 388 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:29,159 Speaker 1: for you? 389 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 3: Because it is like a giant boulder blocking you from 390 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 3: something that God has for your life. 391 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 1: That is absolutely amazing. 392 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is such a powerful story. I'm trying not 393 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 2: to cry over I'm probably going to actually because. 394 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 3: You're pregnant, so it doesn't count. That's like I can 395 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 3: say anything, right, You're an easy crowd. 396 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 2: No, But I also relate in some ways, in many 397 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 2: ways actually to your story, especially just the redemption aspect 398 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 2: of those parental wounds of the people who were supposed to, 399 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 2: you know, be there for you and model Christ, you know, 400 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 2: whether they're a Christian or not. It's like we are 401 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 2: made in His image and our purpose is to be 402 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 2: in relationship with Him, and it's hard when our parents 403 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 2: are in relationship with Him and aren't perfect. But it's 404 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 2: also hard when our parents aren't walking with the Lord 405 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 2: and it's they still fall short. Like that's just the 406 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 2: reality of the human condition of being broken right, of 407 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 2: being severed from Christ because of our sin. But we 408 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 2: have this opportunity to be restored to Him through Christ 409 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 2: through a faith in Him, like you mentioned, and like 410 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 2: scripture mentions. But I lost my mom a few years 411 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 2: ago and was holding her hand when she passed away too, 412 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,959 Speaker 2: and it's I totally relate to everything that you're saying 413 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 2: of just like seeing seeing the soul leave the body, 414 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 2: but also being able to be there for them in 415 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 2: that moment, and even just thinking to my own life. 416 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure that there are people who are listening who 417 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,360 Speaker 2: relate to this. Grief has been a big thing I've 418 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 2: talked a lot about on the podcast too, of just 419 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 2: seeing God restore my relationship with her, maybe not in 420 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 2: every way because she was she was an alcoholic. Both 421 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 2: my parents were addicts, they both died from their addiction, 422 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 2: and it was it was just interesting because although there 423 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 2: were certain elements to our relationship that weren't quote unquote 424 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 2: restored in the way that I had hoped, I was 425 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 2: able to see her through through what God did in 426 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,439 Speaker 2: my life, similar to you, through what God did in 427 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 2: my life of restoring me, forgiving me, redeeming me, that 428 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 2: changed me, that transformed me. And I know that's what's 429 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 2: happened with you too, Steven. It changes you to be 430 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 2: able to have this capacity for radical restoration with other people, 431 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 2: radical forgiveness with other people, to be able to pursue 432 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 2: redemption or even releasing with other people. And I was 433 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 2: able to do that with my mom in many ways 434 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 2: to where I was able to see her give her 435 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 2: life to Jesus. And it's just one of those things 436 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 2: where it's like, Wow, God, you really did exceedingly and 437 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 2: abundantly more in these broken places, these places that feel unredeemable, 438 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 2: these places that feel too big for me to mend together, 439 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 2: God can come in and do something when we are obedient, 440 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 2: when we do submit to him, when we do trust 441 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 2: in who he says he is with our own stories. 442 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 2: But also, like you said, the little ripple effect, it 443 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 2: bleeds into other areas we never knew He could mend 444 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 2: or redeem or restore. And I just I think it's 445 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 2: beautiful that you're a testimony of that. I'm a testimony 446 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 2: of that. So I'm hoping anyone who's listening can know 447 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 2: that hey to are gathered here in this place today 448 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,879 Speaker 2: to testify of the radical restoration that God can do 449 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 2: in the areas that you feel like He could never 450 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 2: touch and work a miracle out, maybe not in the 451 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 2: way you expect, but maybe also in the way you 452 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 2: are praying for, Like, do you have anything you want 453 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 2: to add to that? Maybe just as encouragement to anyone 454 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 2: today who's like, you know, God, I know God can 455 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 2: do this with me, but all these other areas of 456 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 2: my life, I don't know if God could really do 457 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 2: something radical and do something restorative in these places, like 458 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 2: do you have any encouragement or words of hope for 459 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 2: those people today? You know? 460 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 3: I think first thing is to if you're listening, this 461 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 3: thing life right that you're alive, right now that you're 462 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 3: breathing is so short. I mean, it is like a 463 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 3: blink and you're in the presence of Jesus and you're 464 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 3: looking back on this life and you're saying, man, I 465 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 3: let some really stupid things get in the way of 466 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 3: what you. 467 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: Wanted to do. 468 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 3: I let some some some wounds, I let like what 469 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 3: people think keep me from from all that you wanted 470 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,120 Speaker 3: to do. And I don't want to wait till then 471 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 3: to go. Man, I'm sorry that I didn't do that 472 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 3: or I wish I'd have done that. And even for 473 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 3: whoever's listening, you know, God is even now asking you 474 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,680 Speaker 3: to just ask the question, God, what am what am I? 475 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,199 Speaker 3: What am I missing that I've just kind of buried, 476 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 3: or what is in front of me that I'm not 477 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 3: seeing that I'm supposed to let you restore. And one 478 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 3: of those things I think you probably right away already 479 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,479 Speaker 3: can think of something if you're listening and you're honest, 480 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 3: it's you know, something that you can't forgive. Like forgiveness 481 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 3: is a debt. Forgiveness is a debt that you have 482 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 3: the ability to rip up and throw away. 483 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: And I get that. 484 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,160 Speaker 3: We want forgiveness to be I go to somebody they've 485 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 3: done me wrong, and I say I'm sorry, and then 486 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 3: they reciprocate with or you know, I forgive you. 487 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 1: Let's say you say that and they go, I'm sorry. 488 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 3: And you're like, all, is well, what if you say 489 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 3: I forgive you and they do not reciprocate, Yeah, you 490 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 3: still get to tear that dead up and throw it away. 491 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 3: And that's freedom, that's actual freedom. And I would just 492 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 3: say begin to to walk down that path because I've 493 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 3: I've had those scenarios to you where I've forgiven people. 494 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,680 Speaker 3: And I'm not saying you always go to people piously 495 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 3: and go I've decided to forgive you. You know, if you 496 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 3: want to rage bait people like that, you can, but 497 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 3: you know. 498 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 1: What I mean, in some scenarios, if you don't need 499 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: to do that. You just need to go to the 500 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: Lord and go, God, help me, help me, let this go. 501 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 3: Help me see where where you want me to forgive 502 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 3: seventy seven times seven until you've done it in my 503 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 3: heart and so that I can begin to actually walk 504 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 3: into some of the things that I'm missing out on 505 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 3: that you have for my life. 506 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 2: Right absolutely, And it's one of those things too when 507 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 2: I think of forgiveness where it's like, the more that 508 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 2: we understand the Gospel, the easier it becomes to forgive. 509 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that it's easy to forgive, but it 510 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,959 Speaker 2: becomes easier to step into that place of forgiveness with 511 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 2: some of those debts that if I were to, you know, 512 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 2: pull out my list of how I've been wronged, how 513 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 2: I've been betrayed, how people have let me down, it's like, 514 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 2: how could you forgive this person for that and that 515 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 2: person for this? And it's like the more that we 516 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 2: open ourselves to understanding Christ and being transformed by Him 517 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 2: and being reconciled to him, it just it completely transforms 518 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 2: the way that we view everything, how we interact with everyone. 519 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 2: And forgiveness is not just this I love that you 520 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: painted out this pious thing that we do because it's like, well, 521 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 2: we're just super Christian. This is what we do, is 522 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 2: these super Christians. But it really is this hard work 523 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 2: of choosing, and sometimes it's a daily choice that we 524 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 2: have to make, not just this one time thing, but 525 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,959 Speaker 2: something that we have to actively practice of really, and 526 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 2: this sounds so cliche, but letting go and letting God, 527 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 2: letting God step in and be judge, letting God step 528 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 2: in and and and be the vengeful God, but the 529 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 2: merciful God that he also is. I had another guest 530 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 2: on a podcast a while back, a couple months back, 531 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 2: where we talked about that idea of you know, God's 532 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 2: vengeance and God's mercy and for me when I went 533 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 2: through a season where there was a guy who deeply 534 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 2: betrayed me, deeply and where we pray for him now 535 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 2: genuinely though you know, maybe they like the psalms at first, 536 00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 2: where it was like and that was like God redeem them, 537 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 2: praying for him. Go ahead, they can't, I can't. But 538 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 2: the beautiful thing about Jesus is that maybe you're in 539 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 2: a place today where you're like, I want to forgive. 540 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 2: I want to forgive, but I don't know how, and 541 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 2: God taught me how to forgive on the basis of 542 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 2: understanding as a Christian. And I'm not saying this is 543 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 2: an easy lesson to learn, but as a Christian having 544 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:30,439 Speaker 2: received the grace of God myself, having my sin become 545 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 2: so aware to me and receiving His grace and being 546 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 2: able to walk out transformed from that a new creation. 547 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 2: From that. When God revealed that to me of just 548 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 2: the radical grace and transformation that He has given me 549 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 2: from my own sin and wrongdoing, I began to pray 550 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 2: for that over the people who have wronged me, instead 551 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 2: of their demise, instead of the vengeance of the Lord 552 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 2: getting them. It's like God, I pray that you would 553 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 2: open their eyes to their sin so that they would 554 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 2: be restored unto you and be able to walk out 555 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 2: radical trans information. And it takes time to get to 556 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 2: that place. And let me tell you possible. 557 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 3: Let me tell you one last thing is it's very 558 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 3: easy in life when. 559 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: You're younger or in your thirties. 560 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 3: Even when I was in my thirties, I was just 561 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 3: thinking about what does God want to do with my life? 562 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 3: And I was just completely consumed with it. And now 563 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 3: that I'm in my forties, I'm looking back going, oh, 564 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 3: people matter. Yeah, even the people that have hurt me 565 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 3: matter like and that's that's a hard thing to see. 566 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 3: But I think that's life in reverse right, as we 567 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 3: talked about, is seeing that people matter. Everybody you've ever 568 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 3: bumped into matters. 569 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: So, yeah, you're great at this. You have to put 570 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 1: that in the podcast, this podcast. Do not edit this out, Kirby, 571 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: You're very good at this. It's great. God's using you. 572 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: It's awesome. 573 00:29:54,280 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. God's using you too. Like I said comment 574 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 2: up below, everybody, how much how am you? 575 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: No, It's all good. 576 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 2: No, it's true though, and I hope that Unfortunately we 577 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 2: have to start wrapping up the podcast right now, but 578 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,479 Speaker 2: I hope that people are encouraged, even just from like 579 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 2: this sliver of your story. I know there's so much 580 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 2: that you detail in your book Walking Out Forgiveness and Restoration, 581 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 2: just what God has done in your life and your 582 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 2: marriage everything. It's it's so cool how God has used 583 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 2: every moment of your life. And I'm praying that people 584 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 2: pick up your book and read it. Where where can 585 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 2: people get it today? Where is it available? Because by 586 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 2: the time this episode is out, your book is out 587 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 2: in a vain right. 588 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can go to radically restored book dot com. 589 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 3: Look at me, we got the website and everything. We're 590 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 3: all better than me. Radically restored book dot com. 591 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's amazing. And where can people also just tune 592 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 2: into everything you're up to? Because I know that you 593 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 2: put out music, You're very talented. God's using you in 594 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 2: multiple ways. Where can people keep up with you and 595 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 2: what you're doing aside from the book as well? 596 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,160 Speaker 3: Well, that goes to my website and it's all things. 597 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 3: But the book's there too, and you know, you follow 598 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 3: on all the stuff and it's it's pretty NonStop. We 599 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 3: stay pretty busy. God's done some really cool stuff. 600 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 2: I love it. Well, y'all go check out that website. 601 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 2: I'll ink get down below. Just to make it easy, 602 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 2: y'all can literally just do one click rather than typing 603 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 2: it out if you don't want to put in the 604 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 2: extra eight seconds to type it out. But we're in that. 605 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: Generation right where it's got to be right. 606 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 2: For Breeze over Pine Salt, We're making it easier for everyone. Steven, 607 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,120 Speaker 2: thank you so much for your time today, for just 608 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 2: coming on here. Thanks for sharing your story. And everything. Anytime, seriously, 609 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 2: anytime have you ever in Dallas? I would love to say, Hi, 610 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 2: I'll bring my baby along. There you go. 611 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: By that point, I'll watch the baby. You guys could 612 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: go out and do something. I'm just kidding. 613 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 2: Hey, I'm not going to turn down the free child care? 614 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? I'll take you up on that. 615 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 2: I'll be like, remember when you said this, play the receipts, right, 616 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 2: I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But thank you for being on 617 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 2: here and to everyone who's tuned in today. I hope 618 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 2: that this episode really inspired you, inspired you to walk 619 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 2: out your own story of radical restoration between you and 620 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 2: the Lord. But hey, maybe you need that between you 621 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 2: and somebody else today, and it begins with that inward 622 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 2: work of transformation that God can do within you. So 623 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 2: I hope that both of our stories encouraged you, and 624 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 2: I will see you guys here next week for another 625 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 2: episode on the Bottom Beloved podcast. If you're not subscribed, subscribe, follow, 626 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 2: do all the things, and maybe even share this with 627 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 2: somebody who needs to hear it today as well, because 628 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,320 Speaker 2: I think there's more than just one of us who 629 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 2: needs to walk out restoration in our life, especially radical restoration. 630 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 2: You can check out Stephen's book I will link everything 631 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,400 Speaker 2: down below. You can get it today and I'll see 632 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,320 Speaker 2: you guys here next week. Love you bye. For more 633 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 2: life giving, faith based podcast just like this one, check 634 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 2: out lifeaudio dot com, a proud part of the Bottom 635 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 2: Beloved podcast