1 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. Go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 2: It's the Happy Hour. Hey, Yes it is, Hey, everybody, 5 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: that's the happiest Hour of the Dennis Brager Show. Come, 6 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 2: hell of high water, we have it. That's correct. In fact, 7 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 2: blood frogs, lice, wild beasts, hail, darkness, nothing will stop 8 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: the Happiest Hour from taking place. This In fact, this 9 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 2: show did begin in ancient Egypt during actually it was 10 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 2: during the third Plague of Boils. That is, right during boils. 11 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 2: I had boils myself, and even then I broadcast the 12 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 2: Happiness Hour. That is how deep my devotion to the 13 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 2: subject is. Hi, everybody, this is Dennis Prager, and every Friday, 14 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 2: at this hour, the subject is happiness. And I'll tell 15 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: you why, because I can't say this too often. Happiness 16 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 2: is of overwhelming importance. I consider it up there with goodness, integrity, character. 17 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 2: How do you like that, folks? I never would have 18 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 2: said this fifteen years ago, never ever, ever, ever, ever, 19 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:00,040 Speaker 2: ever ever ever ever. You should get my you should 20 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 2: get my tape on happiness because I explain how this 21 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 2: happened in my life. I will, you know what I 22 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: will one day on the radio. But I have come 23 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 2: to understand the centrality of happiness to the human condition, 24 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 2: and that how we have a moral obligation to everybody 25 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 2: in our life, our chill, our parents, our espouse, our friends, 26 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 2: our coworkers, to be as happy as we can be. 27 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: That's right. We do. Ask anybody who was raised by 28 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 2: an unhappy parent what it was like, and you'll understand 29 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 2: how important happiness is. Not just other good things like character, 30 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 2: which is certainly up there. As you know, I talk 31 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,279 Speaker 2: about that much of the rest of the week. Happiness 32 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 2: is a moral obligation. That is right. You owe it 33 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 2: to you. If you believe in God, you owe it 34 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 2: to God. And that is how deep it is, all right, 35 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 2: That's why I devote an hour a week to it. 36 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: Happy people make the world better. Unhappy people rarely do. 37 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 2: Some do, some do though not the people around them, 38 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: but the world maybe. So that's why I devote an 39 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 2: hour a week to the subject of happiness. Today's subject 40 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: is can another person make you happy? Let me tell 41 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 2: you something. This is this most of my happiness hours 42 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 2: are consist of me offering an idea that can hopefully 43 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 2: change your life in light of happiness. By the way, 44 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,839 Speaker 2: let me just stay at the outset. I spent ten 45 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: years writing a book on happiness. It was a best 46 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: seller when it came out. I believe it will change 47 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 2: your life if you read it. It's called Happiness is 48 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 2: a Serious Problem, published by HarperCollins. Happiness is a Serious Problem. Okay, 49 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: got that out of the way, because I don't know 50 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 2: how you listen to this one each week and not 51 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: want to read that, But I think a lot of 52 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: you have. All right, now here is a departure, a 53 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: little bit from the norm. The norm is I offer 54 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 2: an idea that I hope will really affect your life 55 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 2: and affect your happiness. You call in, you question it, 56 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: you react, you affirm it, whatever you will have to 57 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: say today, I am going to do something more of 58 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 2: exploring a very complex but incredibly important aspect to happiness, 59 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 2: and that is now, listen carefully, don't call in yet. 60 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 2: You're calling in. No, dude, dude, dun't wait and hear 61 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 2: this is very important. Then I will take your calls. 62 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 2: Can another person make you happy? Now, I have always 63 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 2: argued the following. Another person can't make you happy. Another 64 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 2: person can make you unhappy. That generally speaking, our ability 65 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 2: to make others unhappy is much greater than our ability 66 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 2: to make others happy. And it's true. I mean that 67 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 2: I still believe that. For example, uh, here take children. 68 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 2: If your child is unhappy, you're going to be unhappy. 69 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 2: I mean, that's the way it is. But if your 70 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 2: child is happy, that doesn't mean that you will be happy. 71 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 2: There are people with happy children who have unhappy life 72 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 2: lives or unhappy themselves. Absolutely, I mean it's not even 73 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 2: a question. I'm not talking about five year olds. I'm 74 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 2: talking about an adult child and a parent. So there's 75 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 2: a good example of where you're the happy person in 76 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 2: your life. Your child, your spouse, your your friend can 77 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 2: when may may not make you happy, but the if 78 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 2: that person's unhappy, it can make you unhappy. So I 79 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 2: have usually left it there. But I was talking to 80 00:05:54,839 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 2: Alan prior to this uh this Happiness Hour subject said 81 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 2: you know what, this this concept, this question is more 82 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 2: complex than what I normally say, and I still hold 83 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 2: what I normally say to be absolutely true. The ability 84 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 2: of others to make you unhappy is much greater than 85 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 2: the ability of others to make you happy. You have 86 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: to make you happy, not others. That is it is. 87 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 2: It is a given. It is a given, is a 88 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: given and given to given and given. You are the 89 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 2: only one who can make you happy. However, however, it 90 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 2: is not true to say that others cannot increase your happiness. 91 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 2: So let me now make two points, two important points 92 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 2: on this subject. Number one, only you can make you happy. 93 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:59,559 Speaker 2: That I stand with. I affirm absolutely you can't rely 94 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 2: on another person to make you happy. However, it doesn't 95 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 2: end there. A person can increase your happiness if you 96 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 2: are already happy. And in this regard, and this is 97 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 2: a new point in the happiness hour. Never made this 98 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 2: point before because I just thought it up today. Friends 99 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: or not a friends. Other people are like money. Money 100 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: does not make the unhappy happy. Money, though, can increase 101 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 2: the happiness of those who are already happy. So others 102 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 2: can increase your happiness. Others can make you unhappy, but 103 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 2: others can never make you happy. Do you get it? 104 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 2: Is that clear? It is good? One? Now you can 105 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 2: call Do you agree? Does this make sense? Would you 106 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 2: like me to explain it? Do you have an example, 107 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 2: one eight praguer seven seven six. That's numerically digitally one 108 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 2: eight seven seven two four three triple seven six one 109 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 2: eight seven seven two four three seven seven seven six 110 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 2: or one eight praguer p r A g E R seven. 111 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 2: So there were three thess. Yes. Indeed, do you know 112 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 2: that I was once called in at a former radio 113 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 2: station and told not to use the word thesis on 114 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 2: the radio. It was too advanced for the audience. I 115 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 2: give you my word of honor, I swear to you. 116 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 2: So every time I use that term now on the radio, 117 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 2: I think of that program director who told me that, Okay, 118 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,959 Speaker 2: I've hyperventilated and I got it out of my system. 119 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 2: Now let me repeat the three theses on this thing. 120 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 2: Number one, only you can make you happy. No one 121 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 2: else can. Number two others can make you unhappy, even 122 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: if you're happy. But number three, if you are happy, 123 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 2: others can definitely add to your happiness. So, in other words, 124 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:18,079 Speaker 2: we have very powerful impact on the happiness of others, 125 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 2: and others do upon us. Except for one exception, if 126 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: you're unhappy, they can't make you happy, alrighty, So why 127 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 2: do you say, folks, what do you say about this 128 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 2: and I want the reactions on this now. For example, 129 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: I won't take this call even though I fully agree 130 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 2: and I know it's a wise call. So Joni, please understand. 131 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 2: She says that happiness is a decision, like looking at 132 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 2: a class half four or half empty. That is absolutely right, Joni, 133 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 2: there is no question. But it's not on subject, Okay. 134 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 2: I argue all the time. Happiness is a decision. That's 135 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 2: what you must decide. I will be happy or I 136 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 2: will act happy. I did a program that was doubt. 137 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,839 Speaker 2: I always say this is one of the most important 138 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 2: happiness hours I ever did. I almost always say that 139 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 2: because it's true. But I will tell you that the 140 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 2: one where I said it's a decision that you make 141 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 2: is up there in the top ten. And when I said, 142 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 2: act it even if you don't feel it, because we 143 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 2: transform our insides by how we act outside, just like 144 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 2: by the way if you start acting kind you know what, 145 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,959 Speaker 2: it'll transform you into a kinder person inside. That's one 146 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 2: of the reasons I prefer capitalism to socialism. You have 147 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 2: to treat customers nice or you lose your job. It's 148 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 2: very hard to become cruel after treating people nice all 149 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 2: day at work. That's right. Well, it can be done, 150 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 2: but it's harder, all right. The effect of others on 151 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 2: happiness is the subject of the Happiness around Dennis Prager's show. 152 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 2: We return in a moment to it. Don't go away. 153 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 154 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 155 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 2: You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, specifically the Happiness Hour, 156 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,439 Speaker 2: an hour each week devoted to the subject. I have 157 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 2: lectured on happiness on all seven continents, by the way, 158 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: including Antarctica. You can see a picture of me speaking 159 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,839 Speaker 2: to penguins on my website. Since there are no people 160 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 2: in Antarctica, I had to somehow speak to somebody to 161 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 2: say seven continents. I've written a book on happiness is 162 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: a serious problem, and I have incorporated these ideas into 163 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 2: my own life. This is an exceedingly important subject. Today's 164 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,079 Speaker 2: subject is very powerful and we have never covered this 165 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 2: can the effect of others on your happiness? Again my 166 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 2: three pronged approach. One, no one else can make you happy. 167 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 2: Only you can make you happy. Number two, others can 168 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 2: make you unhappy if you are happy. Number three, if 169 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 2: you are happy, others can increase your happiness. Okay, let 170 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 2: us go to your calls here and we begin in Springfield, 171 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 2: Oregon on k E ED and Hello to Denise. Denise. 172 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 2: I was supposed to be a Denise, but when I 173 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 2: came out a boy. I want you to know this. 174 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 2: This is how I got the name Dennis. 175 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 3: I understand. 176 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, no you don't. You didn't because I didn't tell 177 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 2: you yet. I was supposed to be a Denise. When 178 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,679 Speaker 2: I came out, they saw I was a boy and 179 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,319 Speaker 2: they said I Dennis. No thought given. But they love 180 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 2: the name Denise. Go ahead, Denise. Thanks. 181 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 3: I'm calling to let you know that I agree completely 182 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 3: with what you're saying, and especially the part where being 183 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 3: happy when you're already happy, that someone can increase your happiness. Yes, 184 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 3: listening to your show brightens my day every day, No kidding. 185 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 4: Love your show. 186 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 3: Love your show, Love your show. 187 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 2: Thank you. That is that's great. Even when I talk 188 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 2: about heavy duty. 189 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 3: Subjects, absolutely because you do it with such class. 190 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,839 Speaker 2: Oh, I love the word class. Do you know, by 191 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 2: the way, do you know kids today if you say 192 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 2: you know that there's no class if you do that 193 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 2: or talk like they don't know what you're talking about. 194 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 2: The word class actually has a bad connotation because it 195 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 2: implies class exactly. 196 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 3: Well, that goes into the degradation of our educational system. 197 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 3: But we won't get into that. 198 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 2: Well, we won't because this is the Happiness Hour. That's 199 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 2: my girl. That's right, yes, but. 200 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 3: It to listen to you. I've listened to a number 201 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 3: of other morning programs, and when I found yours, it's 202 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 3: like a vitamin, because you are always happy, even though 203 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:57,319 Speaker 3: we serious topics are discussed, right, there. 204 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: Is such a Well, let me tell you something. This 205 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 2: is very meaningful what you say to me, and I 206 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 2: thank you immensely. But I want to tell you I 207 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 2: try to live by what I advocate on the Happiness Hour. 208 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 2: I try. I don't say I fully succeed, but I 209 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: have been transformed by these ideas as much as anybody 210 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 2: listening to them. They have affected me. So I know 211 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 2: the importance of trying to be as happy as possible. 212 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 3: And you know that comes through because if you were 213 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 3: not sincere, and if you had not integrated the paradigm shift, 214 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 3: it would not come through in the consistency with which 215 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 3: you deal even with people who disagree with you. 216 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 2: Oh, that's wonderful and see. 217 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 3: In your demeanor that is absolutely delightful. 218 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 2: Well thanks, Wow, listen, I'm so it's good. It's not TV. 219 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 2: I'm all read, Denise, God bless you. It's all I 220 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 2: could say. I did not expect this because it was 221 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 2: not listed as your topic. But good if you know. 222 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 2: That's a good point. Though, if I can contribute, there's 223 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: if you're already happy, and everybody's happy, has unhappiness, Let's 224 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 2: be clear, and has many have terrible pain in fact, 225 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 2: and pain and unhappiness are not the same thing. That 226 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 2: is something that I constantly stress in the book and 227 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 2: have to tell you, folks. One of the reasons a 228 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: lot of unhappy Americans is that so many think that 229 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: avoidance of pain equals happiness. That's why a lot of 230 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 2: guys don't get married. They equate commitment with pain, which 231 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: to the male nature it is it is. That's that's 232 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 2: how the male nature thinks. Oh my god, I can't 233 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 2: touch any other women women till I die. Okay, but 234 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 2: there are, but you are not going to be happy 235 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: staying single the rest of your life. Okay, Ah, thank you. 236 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 2: Let's go to Baltimore. W I t h in Baltimore, Maryland. 237 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 2: Hello Paul, this is Dennis Prager. Thank you for calling. 238 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, first of all, let me begin I didn't tell 239 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 5: your screen of this, but let me begin by telling 240 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 5: you I'm totally blind, and but I don't let that 241 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 5: stop me from doing that. 242 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 2: Well, when did you become blind? 243 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 5: I was born that way? 244 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 2: Oh good. I have some questions to ask you. 245 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 5: Okay, okay, if you don't mind, if you don't mind 246 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 5: taking up the time on that No. 247 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,120 Speaker 2: No, on the lot, I won't that's right. I am 248 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 2: too interested in people blind from birth. It fascinates me. 249 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,760 Speaker 2: So I got to ask you a couple of questions. 250 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: Thank you. Number one, Uh, does the does the word 251 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 2: color mean anything to you? No, that's what I thought. Well, 252 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 2: well how is this? Then? Do you understand if somebody 253 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 2: says I see something. 254 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I perceive it, or I perceive it. That's 255 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 5: the way I look at. 256 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 2: It, that one perceives it. 257 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 5: Yes, see. I speak Esperanto. 258 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 2: You may have heard of that, of course, the universal language. 259 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's even though that's my second language. I kind 260 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 5: of whenever I hear a word that I don't understand, 261 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 5: I just kind of like in my head translated into 262 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 5: esperanto and it comes out a little bit more of 263 00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 5: a better meaning. Shall we say? 264 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 2: Right, but if I say to you that you don't 265 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,159 Speaker 2: you obviously don't know what a person looks like. No, 266 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 2: exactly I could. 267 00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 5: I could tell by the sound of his or her 268 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 5: voice whether they're short or tall, that sort of thing. 269 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 2: Right, that, and that, of course is imaginable short or tall, 270 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 2: So it really is. Of course, there are certain concepts 271 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 2: that cannot be explained unless experienced, and seeing is one 272 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: of them true, just like I couldn't explain to one 273 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,679 Speaker 2: who never heard what hearing is. 274 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 5: That's true, Ask Kellen Keller that question. 275 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 2: Oh god, yes, well that's very different. Now let's see here. 276 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: Are you married? 277 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 5: No, I'm single? Did you I am content in my 278 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 5: single life? 279 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: No? 280 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 2: No, No, that could happen. I fully acknowledge that. All right, 281 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 2: my friend, I'm not taking from your time. Shoot away, Okay? 282 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 5: About happiness one of one of my hobbies, and I 283 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 5: like to make an extension of a hobby because I 284 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 5: enjoy I enjoy taping, you know, making audio cassettes of 285 00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,120 Speaker 5: my collection of old records and radio and what I do. 286 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 5: While I myself am happy to keep them, I like 287 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 5: to pass them along. And I used to belong to 288 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 5: a tape club which is no longer in existence for 289 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 5: different reasons. And the tape that I would send as 290 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 5: well as other members would go around to oh maybe 291 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 5: about one hundred or one hundred and fifty people, so 292 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 5: you would get answers back like I have, particularly like 293 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 5: this particular number or that song that you said. So 294 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 5: you know you're passing on the happiness to others even 295 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 5: though as you are keeping it yourself. 296 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 2: You get my idea, Yes, And in other words, we 297 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 2: increase and we certainly don't decrease, but we can increase 298 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 2: our happiness by affecting others happiness. 299 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 5: Let me ask you one question on the happiness. Okay, 300 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 5: what about alchorithm? Is alcroruism equated with happiness? 301 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 2: No, it's not equated, but in my book, and uh, 302 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 2: let's see, I think it's on tape. So obviously I don't. 303 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,439 Speaker 5: Have access to the web, so or I have no 304 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 5: idea how. 305 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 2: Could Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna look it up and announce it. 306 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 2: But anyway, the what was your question again. 307 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 5: About as Oh, yes, I. 308 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,959 Speaker 2: Do have a cheess I have. I have a chapter 309 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 2: on why I believe good people are happier than bad people, 310 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 2: and I will tell it to you. And i'll tell 311 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 2: it to you now, Paul, thank you for calling. You're 312 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 2: welcome by bye bye, and let me tell you, folks, 313 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 2: I'll tell you why. In fact, i'll tell you as 314 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 2: soon as we get back. It's very important because a 315 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,879 Speaker 2: lot of people think, you know, I can't raise my 316 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 2: kid to be all that ethical and stuff. It's a 317 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 2: doggy dog world, and they'll, you know, they'll lose out. 318 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 2: Or if people think, oh, the good guy comes in last. 319 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 2: You know Leo de Rocher is a famous line, Good 320 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 2: guys finished last. I will give you one basic reason 321 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 2: why I believe good people are happier than bad people. 322 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 2: Will be back in a moment. You're listening to the 323 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager Show one to eighth Praguer seven seven six. 324 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 325 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 326 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 2: I'm Dennis Prager. This is the Happiness Hour, an hour 327 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 2: every week at this time on the subject of happiness. 328 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 2: My book on it is titled Happiness Is a Serious Problem. 329 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 2: I believe that happiness is the ironically among the most 330 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 2: underrated of the most important things in life. There is nothing, 331 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 2: almost nothing more important. As I get older, the more 332 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 2: I believe that. And I will tell you one other thing. 333 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,919 Speaker 2: When I meet people who are happy, I have admiration 334 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 2: for them, because life is very tough. It's tough for everyone, 335 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 2: even the most blessed. It's tough. And when you have attained, 336 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 2: when you have a happy demeanor, I salute you. Anyway. 337 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 2: The last caller wanted to know our a blind caller 338 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 2: from Baltimore, as the connection between goodness and happiness, which 339 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 2: is not exactly the subject, but I will answer it 340 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 2: anyway very quickly. Good people are happier than bad people. 341 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 2: As a rule. There are good unhappy people, that is true, 342 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 2: but they would be better if they were happy. That's 343 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 2: a separate issue. Why are good people happier than bad people? 344 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 2: Very simply because bad people can never be properly loved 345 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 2: or properly loved. That's why they think that others will 346 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 2: treat them the way they treat others, and therefore they 347 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 2: will largely be alone in life, whereas good people bring 348 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 2: people into their lives for that alone. There are many 349 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 2: other reasons, but that alone is as big as any. 350 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:55,880 Speaker 2: All right, he over to Diamond Bark, Californiaia, And I 351 00:21:55,880 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 2: believe you, Dennis, are listening on KRLA eight seventies. That right, Hi, Dennis, 352 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,160 Speaker 2: what's on your mind? Welcome to the Happiness Hour. 353 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 6: Well, I want to disagree with you. I think unhappy 354 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 6: people can be made happy by happy people. That's the 355 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 6: job of psychiatrists psychologists. 356 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 2: No, it isn't, but it's very That's why I took 357 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 2: your call, and it's a very important call. And I'll 358 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 2: give you my response. You tell me if you still 359 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 2: think there's a contradiction or I'm wrong. The good therapist 360 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 2: and I believe in good therapy. The problem is a 361 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 2: lot of therapists are not good. But when a therapist 362 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,959 Speaker 2: does his or her job, what they are doing is 363 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:40,639 Speaker 2: enabling you to make you happy. If you depend on 364 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 2: your psychiatrist to be happy, you will never be happy. 365 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 2: And they will all tell you that. After all, the 366 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 2: best therapist gets rid of you. So obviously they are 367 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 2: not the source of your happiness. They are enabling you 368 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 2: to get rid of the impediments in your life to 369 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 2: your unhappiness. That is all a therapist could do. It's 370 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: huge but that is all one can do. 371 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 6: That's true, but there is still that outside force that 372 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 6: brings a boy. But that's the reason I say this 373 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,479 Speaker 6: is because I think that's the hope of humankind is 374 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,399 Speaker 6: to bring about happiness. Where there is misery in the world. 375 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 6: I mean, can't do that, then there isn't much hope 376 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 6: for any of us. 377 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: I agree with you. That's why I believe in therapy. 378 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 2: It's why one of the reasons I so believe in religion. Absolutely. 379 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 2: I think that anything that you can do to increase 380 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 2: your happiness should be utilized. 381 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 6: I think that hos truth for what's going on in 382 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,120 Speaker 6: the Middle East. If we can't bring about I think 383 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 6: the Muslims have a kind of a patomasochistic relationship with 384 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 6: their God and also their leaders. 385 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 2: Well we can never say the but you can certainly 386 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 2: say the militant Muslims this, that's right. I think that 387 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 2: there is a lot of pathology, especially in the Arab world. 388 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 2: I do. I agree with you. They're not happy. These 389 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 2: are not happy people. They're not raised happily. Read books 390 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: on it, like the Arab Mind, one of the most 391 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: It's on my list of the ten books that most 392 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 2: affected my thinking. But I don't want to get into 393 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,680 Speaker 2: that because it's another subject. But you're right, these people 394 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,639 Speaker 2: are not happy people. They are squashed. They are squashed, 395 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 2: I think religiously many of them personally, and they're in 396 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 2: the way they're raised in the in the in the 397 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 2: staggeringly unhealthy relations between men and women. All right, anyway, 398 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 2: thank you for your call. I want to repeat what 399 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 2: I said to Dennis here about a therapist. A therapist 400 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 2: doesn't make you happy. A therapist enables you to make 401 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 2: you happy. Nobody whom you have an hour meet, an 402 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 2: hour and a a week makes you happy and you 403 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 2: get rid of them when you achieve it. Whereas friends, obviously, 404 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 2: as an example, relatives, these people are with you forever. 405 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: I will continue. Only you can make you happy. Others 406 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 2: can make you one happy, but if you're happy, others 407 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,919 Speaker 2: can increase your happiness. My three prong thesis on the 408 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 2: effect of others on our own happiness. On this the 409 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 2: Happiness Hour phone number on one A Praguer seven, seven 410 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 2: to six. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show and 411 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 2: the Happiness Hour, all right, I mean, my friends, you're 412 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,360 Speaker 2: listening to the Dennis Prager Show. The Hour each week 413 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 2: devoted to the subject of happiness because of how important 414 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 2: I believe it is. God bless the founders of this 415 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 2: country for saying life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness 416 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 2: in the Declaration of Independence. I think the only country 417 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,679 Speaker 2: that did that put it as one of the ideals. 418 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,359 Speaker 2: That's right. Equality is not there, but pursuit of happiness is. 419 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:56,360 Speaker 2: And by the way, they are often unrelated. Indeed, sometimes 420 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 2: they are in contradiction. The pursuit of equality and the 421 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 2: pursuit of happiness. We will put that aside because it's 422 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 2: not a political or philosophic Well, it's a philosophical hour, 423 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 2: but you know what I mean. Now again, the subject 424 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 2: this hour is can others make you happy? Number? One? 425 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,399 Speaker 2: Only you can make you happy too. Others can make 426 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 2: you one happy, but not happy. Number three. If you 427 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 2: are happy, others can increase your happiness. They just can't 428 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 2: make you happy. One of the ramifications of this is 429 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 2: how you marry. You can't marry thinking he or she 430 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 2: will make you happy. Yeah, I'm unhappy, but I'll get 431 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,119 Speaker 2: married and he or she will make me happy. That 432 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,959 Speaker 2: is a guarranteur of unhappiness for both of you and 433 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 2: I bet that happens a lot of times. Big mistake, 434 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 2: even though it is a very natural thing to do. 435 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 2: Get happy, then marry, fix yourself up, then get married. 436 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 2: One eighth Prager seven seven six Steve in Uh, let's 437 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 2: excuse me, Mike and Denver. Sorry about that, Steve, the 438 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 2: temptation there must have been terrible. Uh In Denver on 439 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,199 Speaker 2: K and us. It's Mike, Mike Dennis Prager. Welcome to 440 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 2: the Happiness Hour. 441 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 7: Hi Dennis, I am a psychotherapist and I can't agree 442 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 7: with you more on what you said with your last 443 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 7: caller about the purpose of psychotherapy. 444 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,360 Speaker 2: Oh good, I'm delighted, And I'll. 445 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 7: Also tell you that I try never to miss the 446 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 7: Happiness Hour. You would be pleasantly surprised to know how 447 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 7: much of your wisdom makes it makes its way back 448 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 7: to my clients. 449 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 2: You can't imagine how important that is to me to know. 450 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 2: I am. I am pleased, not just for me from 451 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 2: an ego standpoint, but I am pleased to know that 452 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 2: I share the views of a lot of therapists because 453 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,640 Speaker 2: it makes me believe even more in therapy to know that. 454 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 2: So thank you. I'm glad you do. 455 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 7: Oh my pleasure well, listen, I wanted to take exception 456 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 7: though I wanted to disagree with your postuate that others 457 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 7: can make you unhappy. I think if you're going to 458 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 7: say that you're responsible for your own happiness, then you 459 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 7: would have to acknowledge that one needs to be able 460 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 7: to salvage happiness from pain from time to time in 461 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 7: their life. Is that true? 462 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 2: Absolutely, you have no choice. 463 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,160 Speaker 7: Okay, And so I would agree that others can can 464 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 7: make you hurt, can provide you with pain from time 465 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 7: to time. But if you say that others can make 466 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 7: you unhappy, and then you can't be responsible for your 467 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 7: own happiness, your happiness, well. 468 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 2: Others behavior, that's very true. But but it's it's it's fair. 469 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 2: I mean, look, let's take an extreme case. You are 470 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 2: you know, the Nazis round you up and put you 471 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 2: into a death camp. Uh, they have made you unhappy? 472 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 2: I mean, while all right, So all right, I went 473 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 2: to the most extreme. But let's go to less extreme. 474 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 2: A parent with a child who who dies, a child 475 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 2: get killed. I mean there I know a lot of 476 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 2: parents whose children have died only which most people don't 477 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 2: know a lot of such people. But by being public, 478 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 2: I know more people and so therefore I'll experience more 479 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 2: and you know it too, would be given a therapist. Now, 480 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 2: sure is there? Have you ever encountered, in all your 481 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 2: years of being a thing therapist, a parent who lost 482 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 2: a child who regained the original happiness they had. 483 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 7: Well, I would not say that they regained their joy 484 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 7: in that child, that they that they got when the 485 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 7: child was born, and as they raise it, but I 486 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 7: would all let me assure you, Dennis, that I always 487 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 7: encourage my clients who have lost a loved one of 488 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 7: any nature. 489 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 2: Well, loved one is not that loved one. I don't 490 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 2: think is the same as a child. 491 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 7: Well, I am childless, so there may be more to 492 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 7: it than I'm aware. But let me say this. If 493 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 7: I have a client whose child has died, I encourage 494 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 7: that client to know that happiness is available, that they 495 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 7: walk through a season of pain, but that happiness is 496 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 7: not denied them. 497 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, But obviously there's a period of 498 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 2: time of such where the pain does affect one's happiness. Sure, 499 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,720 Speaker 2: and so what about what about Well, wait a minute, 500 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 2: I mean, have you counseled couples in an awful marriage? 501 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 7: Oh? I do a lot of that, all right. 502 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 2: Then fine, then you're telling me that an awful marriage 503 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 2: doesn't affect your happiness. 504 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 7: Well, it certainly does. But first, the first thing I 505 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 7: try to teach people who are in a very unhappy 506 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 7: marriage is that they can disengage from their partner's behavior, 507 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 7: that is that has been making them unhappy. I always 508 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,719 Speaker 7: I tell people, hey, if your happiness depends on your 509 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 7: spouse's behavior, then who's in charge? And that that really 510 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 7: motivates them to understand that. 511 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 2: No, I agree, you know what, We're in total agreement. 512 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 2: I think it. It's almost at a point of such 513 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 2: fine tuning. Uh, I'm simply contrasting. I'm saying others can't 514 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 2: make you happy, but they have a greater ability to 515 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 2: make you unhappy. You're saying, even there, we have to 516 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 2: determine for ourselves. I agree with you. But why would 517 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 2: you tell a spouse who is beaten by a spouse, 518 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 2: And that is a. 519 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 7: Large part of my practice is domestic violence. 520 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 2: All right, why do you tell that spouse be happy? Anyway? 521 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 8: Well? 522 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 7: Know what when I get a when I get a 523 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 7: victim of domestic violence, yes, and they are as often 524 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 7: male as female. And right, Okay, the solution is the 525 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 7: same for both of them. What I do is I 526 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 7: start to say, other than physical safety, Let's assume first 527 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 7: that for you know that they're able to come to 528 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 7: the determination that their physical safety safety is not at risk. 529 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 7: And then then my question is, uh, do you you 530 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 7: know one or do you feel like you would be 531 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 7: happier without any marriage? 532 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 2: Well? Exactly, all right. In other words, they have to 533 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 2: get rid of the person who's making them unhappy. They 534 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 2: have to divorce in that case. 535 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 7: Yeah, and and and and in that event they are 536 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 7: taking responsible. 537 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 2: Oh I agree, Oh God, bless you. Okay, Mike, thank you. 538 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 2: We agree. Then until they get rid of that person, 539 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 2: that person is making them unhappy. I just don't want 540 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 2: to disqualify the notion for many people listening that another 541 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 2: can never decrease your happiness. Of course they can. Great call, 542 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 2: and because it forced us to explore it even further, 543 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 2: so I want to make that clear again by three things. 544 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: Only you can make you happy too. Others cannot make 545 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 2: you happy, but they have the ability to make you unhappy. 546 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 2: Then you have to figure out what to do about that. 547 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 2: And number three, others can increase your happiness if you're 548 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 2: already happy. That's true. It's like money. Money cannot make 549 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 2: you happy if you're unhappy, but if you're happy, money 550 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 2: can make you happier. Just talk to me about my 551 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 2: stereo system. We'll be back in a moment. I'm Dennis Prager. 552 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,040 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 553 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 554 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 2: Talk about pain. I have pain over the excellent calls 555 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 2: that are on and I can't take everyone, but stay 556 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 2: on if you got on, and I'm going to try 557 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 2: to be brief so I can get as many of 558 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 2: you as possible. The question on this happiness our final 559 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 2: segment is the question of can others make you happy? 560 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 2: And my theory on that. Let's go to Father John 561 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 2: in Minneapolis on the Patriot. Hello, father, thanks for calling. 562 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 4: Listening to tennis. 563 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 2: Thank you. 564 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 4: See I'm sure enjoying this. Oh good, I just called 565 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 4: throwing a pitch for your fine tuning of this topic. 566 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 4: I taught, of course, in a secular college on ethics. 567 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 4: I'm sure you're acquainted with Epicurius. Yes, Now, it's definitions 568 00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 4: of ethics. Ethics is the pursuit of happiness through the 569 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 4: practice of virtue. So I want to point out two 570 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 4: things there. Goodness is key to this. 571 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 2: I agree. I said that to the caller from Baltimore, 572 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:13,799 Speaker 2: go ahead. 573 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 4: And without it, And now I changed his definition. When 574 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:20,319 Speaker 4: I took a little bit, I had to change a 575 00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 4: few things. They told me I couldn't wear my collar 576 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 4: and I couldn't use the word God. However, you know 577 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,640 Speaker 4: what the word ethics means. It's from God of God. 578 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't know that. Tell me that. 579 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,280 Speaker 4: Well, it's like atheists. It means away from God. Ah, 580 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 4: theos is from but away from E is from or 581 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,240 Speaker 4: of the source of theos is God. 582 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 2: Hey, I love it. I love it. 583 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 4: What I want you to do is a little bit 584 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 4: is on the word happiness, because in our constitution that 585 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 4: thing has been so perverted. 586 00:34:59,560 --> 00:34:59,840 Speaker 2: Sad. 587 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 4: People have even stolen the name gay. I know three 588 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,800 Speaker 4: men named gay, but I am. I've counseled many gay people. 589 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,880 Speaker 4: I hear you of them are happy? 590 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? No, why not? Well some some are? But anyway, Father, 591 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 2: only because of the time you have made my day 592 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 2: ethics from God. I love it. Thank you so much, 593 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 2: my dear friend. I'm glad you listen. Eric in West 594 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 2: la You don't have a lot of time, but I 595 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 2: love your subject. Go ahead on eight seventy KLA. 596 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,279 Speaker 8: Hello Eric, Oh, how you doing. I'll be quickly to 597 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 8: the point, do you think that music provides a false 598 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 8: or a real happiness? And my quick sort of Devil's 599 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,600 Speaker 8: advocate thoughts are they're obviously Nazis who enjoyed Beethoven and 600 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 8: Mozart and then proceeded to do, you know, profoundly evil things. 601 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,279 Speaker 8: So what are your thoughts on that? 602 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 2: I don't know? A lifetime of music loving and listening. 603 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 2: It's for it, sue. It soothes, and it soothes my mice. 604 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:05,200 Speaker 2: It soothes me. I have endorphins. I know that I'm 605 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 2: secreting endorphins when I hear music when I'm sad. It 606 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 2: expresses my sadness for me and gives me beauty. In 607 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 2: the sum total of things, I have to argue it adds. 608 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:22,400 Speaker 2: It does add to my joy of life. I would 609 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 2: have to say that I did it. Do it for 610 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 2: a Nazi? Yes? But I always say the arts do 611 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,880 Speaker 2: not make your character better, but they can touch you 612 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 2: in other ways. Don't go away. 613 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,680 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennisprager 614 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,240 Speaker 1: dot com. For thousands of hours if Dennis's lectures, courses 615 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:48,320 Speaker 1: in classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational 616 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:48,920 Speaker 1: Bibles