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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Hi from the Salvation Army. You're listening to Words of Life.

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Speaker 3: The words these are the words of the Life.

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Speaker 4: Hey, and welcome back to Words of Life. You know,

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Speaker 4: as a parent myself, I've really been enjoying this back

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Speaker 4: to school series. As we know, sending our kids back

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Speaker 4: to school comes with a lot more than just new

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Speaker 4: backpacks and school supplies. There's friendship, drama, test anxieties, big emotions,

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Speaker 4: and sometimes even questions about faith. In this episode, we're

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Speaker 4: talking about what happens when our kids start asking those

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Speaker 4: harder questions, especially when they begin to wrestle with what

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Speaker 4: they believe. So if you're a parent navigating those conversations,

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Speaker 4: take it down, breath. You don't have to have every answer.

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Speaker 4: God can handle their doubts, and know that you're not alone.

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Speaker 4: This episode begins sort of mid conversation. We were having

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Speaker 4: a great discussion on this topic offline, and so we

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Speaker 4: just hit record. It'll make sense, that promise, and we

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Speaker 4: hope you enjoy. As always, check out the show notes.

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Speaker 4: We'll have links to plenty of resources related to what

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Speaker 4: we've discussed in this episode.

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Speaker 5: That's that's a huge thing, and so you know, I

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Speaker 5: go into that really encouraging my kids to, hey, let's

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Speaker 5: pray about that. I actually don't have the answer to that,

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Speaker 5: and it's okay that I don't, but let's really seek

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Speaker 5: the Lord in this to encourage you and to give

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Speaker 5: us wisdom and what to do. Get together and really

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Speaker 5: in every facet, even if you feel like it's a

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Speaker 5: small thing, right, like yeah, taking a test or having

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Speaker 5: a conversation with this friend, like oh, my gosh, is sleepover,

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Speaker 5: and like so and so thinks this, and so so

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Speaker 5: thinks that, and I want to be you know, they

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Speaker 5: feel stuck in the middle. It's like, wow, like that

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Speaker 5: is a really hard position to be in. I wonder, like,

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Speaker 5: let's let's kind of pray about that, because I know

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Speaker 5: that that is a place where you're feeling anxious.

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Speaker 6: So good.

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Speaker 4: I think it's so easy to just hear, you know,

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Speaker 4: your teen or your young kid talking about their big drama,

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Speaker 4: and as an adult, you're like, oh, my godness, if

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Speaker 4: I wish that was my worst problem.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 4: One of my favorite artists, Jeff Tweety, he had a

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Speaker 4: memoir that came out recently and he had gone through

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Speaker 4: rehab and stuff, and in there they kind of go

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Speaker 4: around like you know, any rehab thing and sort of

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Speaker 4: just talk about trauma. And he said, you know, he

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Speaker 4: didn't have this horrific background, and so he felt like

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Speaker 4: he wasn't even allowed to share what his background was.

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Speaker 4: And this guy who became a good friend of his

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Speaker 4: just told him that everyone suffers the same and the

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Speaker 4: comparison trap can kind of go the other way, where

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Speaker 4: like you don't think you're allowed to have a bad

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Speaker 4: day because they're suffering. In africam like, you can still

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Speaker 4: have a bad day even though you do have a

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Speaker 4: job and a roof over your head. Yeah, And I

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Speaker 4: think if you just dismissed that, I think that's really unhealthy.

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Speaker 4: And then they don't really learn how to cope when

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Speaker 4: they have bigger and bigger problems.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. And the second part to what I was going

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Speaker 5: to say is that when you kind of are open

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Speaker 5: and saying gosh, I don't know what to do about

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Speaker 5: that like this, you're actually modeling your own faith in

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Speaker 5: your kids' lives. And so what happens is it event

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Speaker 5: actually they'll develop the habit of like, Okay, well I

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Speaker 5: need to go to God in prayer for this right,

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Speaker 5: and they will hopefully, you know, you're nurturing that habit

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Speaker 5: of like, Okay, let's go to the Lord in prayer.

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Speaker 1: This I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 5: Like I'm feeling like you're modeling your own faith in

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Speaker 5: that process.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And encourage questions. Encourage them to ask questions, all questions,

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Speaker 1: you know, not just biblical questions or whatever. But you know,

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Speaker 1: on the car ride home that was from church, it

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Speaker 1: was always the time when the kids would ask the

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Speaker 1: most thought provoking things about whatever. But it always led

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Speaker 1: back to, Okay, well what does the Bible say about that?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: And now our kids are asking questions that you know,

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Speaker 1: are faith based because they know that they believe this

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Speaker 1: because that's the way they were taught at church, or

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Speaker 1: that's maybe that's because they believe that, but people at school,

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Speaker 1: you know, are saying something else. The other influences are

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Speaker 1: coming and getting in there, and it's like, well, what

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Speaker 1: does the Bible say about it? That's where we go

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Speaker 1: for our truth and modeling that for them is starting there,

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Speaker 1: you know, starting with that foundation, that base is I

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Speaker 1: think the most important thing is what does God.

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Speaker 4: Say, Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Armies words of life.

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Speaker 6: We're going to take a.

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Speaker 4: Quick ad break, and we'll be right back. Something that

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Speaker 4: I wrote in here that I wanted us to touch

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Speaker 4: on too, though, is what happens when you have a

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Speaker 4: kid who's like, well, I don't believe in any of that. Now,

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Speaker 4: where do you go from that? When your kid's like, well,

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Speaker 4: I don't want to go to church anymore and I

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Speaker 4: don't believe in this anymore? How do you handle that

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Speaker 4: as a parent?

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Speaker 1: I think, don't panic, which is always easier said than

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Speaker 1: it is done. It's nothing you did wrong, Like I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's important for parents to hear too. Don't

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Speaker 1: take it personally, and remember that you probably at one

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Speaker 1: point in your life struggled with doubt in some form,

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Speaker 1: in some way, you know, or even just had those

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Speaker 1: fleeting thoughts of you know, like well what if we

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Speaker 1: got it wrong, what if it's not really that or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I think we've all been there at some point. Then

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Speaker 1: we also have to remember that God's not scared of that,

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Speaker 1: like he's he wants us to be to question things,

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Speaker 1: and and like, there has to be a point in

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Speaker 1: your kid's life you can lead them there right like

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Speaker 1: you've done all the things, You've laid the foundation for them,

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Speaker 1: but you can't save them. Only God can save them.

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Speaker 1: So their faith has to become their faith. At some

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Speaker 1: point you have to step back and say, Okay, God,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I hope I've done enough. I've done

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Speaker 1: what you've asked me to do. Now just you know,

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Speaker 1: like get in there, get in there and just like

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Speaker 1: make it real for them. And so at some point

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Speaker 1: they have to make that decision for themselves. And unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: you know, with all of the distractions and all the

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Speaker 1: other things going on in their lives, they might say

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Speaker 1: those things like I don't believe that, you know, but

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Speaker 1: I think that you just have to don't give up.

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Speaker 1: Don't give up praying for them, pray like crazy, I think,

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Speaker 1: is it the main thing? And don't discipline that. That

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Speaker 1: is not a disciplinary thing. You know, Church shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: a disciplinary thing, or beliefs shouldn't be you know, well,

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Speaker 1: you're going to believe this because this is what we do.

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Speaker 1: I think that talking like why do you feel that way?

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Speaker 1: You know, asking those questions, asking the why, getting back

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Speaker 1: to what is the why of you know that? Where

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Speaker 1: did where are you hearing this from? Or you know,

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Speaker 1: who are you talking to? Like who's influencing you, like,

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Speaker 1: let's let's start there, you know. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: I think you just just stay involved. Don't be like,

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Speaker 1: well now I'm hands off and now I can't do

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Speaker 1: any more for my kid. I think that sometimes that's

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Speaker 1: a cry for help in a way, you know, like

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Speaker 1: maybe your kids are actually you know, I don't believe this.

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Speaker 1: Show me what you believe? Mom? You know, like what

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Speaker 1: do you what do you really think about this? So

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Speaker 1: I think it's important to keep conversation going, keep and

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Speaker 1: you know, for our kids too. Sometimes the church we

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Speaker 1: went to was a struggle. Sometimes the church we went

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Speaker 1: to was a struggle because there wasn't anybody that they

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Speaker 1: related to or whatever. And we just kept telling the kids, Okay,

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Speaker 1: just go with an open mind. You know, you may

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Speaker 1: hear something that maybe you have questions about, ask questions

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Speaker 1: to ask, ask us about it. Let's let's do this

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Speaker 1: together and just agree to come alongside and walk walk

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Speaker 1: them through. But pray like crazy, pray like crazy.

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Speaker 6: I think doubt and questions get a bad rep a

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Speaker 6: lot of times. Like we think if a kid questions,

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Speaker 6: or if a kid asks, how did that happen? How

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Speaker 6: did God create the world? In seven days that that

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Speaker 6: automatically means that they don't believe anymore. And I think,

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Speaker 6: I mean, we see the example in the Bible, right,

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Speaker 6: like Thomas gets a bad rap because he wanted to

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Speaker 6: ask questions, he wanted to know, he wanted to touch

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Speaker 6: and feel and see. But I think as long as

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Speaker 6: kids are asking those questions, that's the beautiful place to

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Speaker 6: be because they're not just accepting it at face value.

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Speaker 6: They want to know why, they want to know how

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Speaker 6: So we always say that like quiet doubt is dangerous,

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Speaker 6: but doubt that asks the questions, like that's that's a

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Speaker 6: beautiful place to be with kids. It's terrifying for adults

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Speaker 6: because I don't have the answers all of the time.

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Speaker 6: I can't answer those questions. But you know, you get that.

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Speaker 6: It's kind of a cliche sometimes I think to say,

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Speaker 6: like I don't know, but let's figure it out together.

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Speaker 6: But I think that's true, Like I don't have the

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Speaker 6: answers for you.

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Speaker 5: What a beautiful fact that you're asking the question, right,

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Speaker 5: And what a beautiful way is to evangelize to your

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Speaker 5: kids yea and disciple them, Yeah, because you can't do

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Speaker 5: that without the questions. Yeah, without the tension without the struggle.

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Speaker 4: We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation.

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Speaker 4: We're going to take one more ad break and we'll

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Speaker 4: be right back. I think too like that adolescence, especially

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Speaker 4: like getting into your teen years, if you've raised them

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Speaker 4: in a Christian household as a kid, it's really easy

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Speaker 4: to say God is loved and Jesus loves me because

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Speaker 4: your biggest trama you've been through is maybe just like

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Speaker 4: you didn't want to go to bed.

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Speaker 1: Not for all of us.

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Speaker 4: Some of us have been through more younger, but like

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Speaker 4: you know, you haven't seen the world a lot, and

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Speaker 4: as you're getting to see the world, you're having heartbreak,

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Speaker 4: you're having you disappointments and stuff. You're kind of questioning everything,

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Speaker 4: And I think that's healthy.

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Speaker 1: I think you should be questioning. You shouldn't take blind faith.

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Speaker 1: That's not right. I don't know what that is. That's

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Speaker 1: not faith right right.

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Speaker 6: I think the danger of that is that they're going

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Speaker 6: to grow up and when they have a bad thing happen,

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Speaker 6: what do they fall back on? Like it's dead, it's nothing,

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Speaker 6: it's useless to them. But I think if you show

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Speaker 6: them Jesus, and you answer those questions and you you know,

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Speaker 6: that gives them someone to fall back on when when

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Speaker 6: hard times come. It's a faith that lasts.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of times too, it's important that you

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Speaker 1: realize too that as a parent, you might not be

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Speaker 1: the one to them, you know. Like again, sometimes you

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Speaker 1: have to step back and let the other people in

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Speaker 1: their lives, like our youth leaders, thank you, mel who

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Speaker 1: have maybe a different thing to say, you know, like

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Speaker 1: it's not happening under my roof in my household. It's

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Speaker 1: not my parent telling me I have to believe in Jesus.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's someone I respect in a different way

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Speaker 1: that is, maybe it's a peer, or maybe it's someone

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Speaker 1: you know, a positive influence. So pray for those people

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Speaker 1: too because they've got a huge job as well. But

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Speaker 1: I'm just again, like I said before, I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: for that community at our church that pours into our

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Speaker 1: kids and has that other influence that maybe it'll make

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Speaker 1: sense because it's coming from them, and it's just the

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Speaker 1: Charlie Brown teacher when I'm saying it, you know or whatever.

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Speaker 7: So yeah, well, and I heard one thing I heard

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Speaker 7: you say though in that process was just let's just

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Speaker 7: keep going. Let's just keep going, keep an over mind.

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Speaker 7: And so sometimes our kids are going to reason right.

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Speaker 7: Or when our girls first started getting involved in the teens,

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Speaker 7: they were very apprehensive about going, didn't want to go,

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Speaker 7: kind of try to get out of it multiple times,

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Speaker 7: and we just had to kind of hold our feet

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Speaker 7: to the fire at first to say we're just going

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Speaker 7: to go. We're going to go, and we're going to

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Speaker 7: see what God does and we're going to trust and

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Speaker 7: it might not always be fun and it might not

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Speaker 7: be maybe some really awkward moment.

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Speaker 5: Recall actually dealing with a panic attack at the time

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Speaker 5: thirteen year old because we were very used to smaller

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Speaker 5: churches and we went to a mega church and the

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Speaker 5: youth group was just all out and she was like

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Speaker 5: uh uh and she was like, I'm not going in,

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Speaker 5: and you know what, like we wrote it out and

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Speaker 5: I said, all right, we showed up to the parking

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Speaker 5: lot today, Yes, let's come back and try another time.

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Speaker 5: And we kept showing up and then you know, we

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Speaker 5: prayed and we prayed and we just kept providing the

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Speaker 5: opportunity and then we prayed for God to bring in

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Speaker 5: a friend that one friend that connector and yeah.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like they just got back from a week

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Speaker 7: long overnight camp and you know, absolutely loved it and

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Speaker 7: it's such a formative thing for them now. So but

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Speaker 7: if as hard as parents, when your kid is a

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Speaker 7: lot of resistance there, sometimes you know to continue just

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Speaker 7: providing the opportunity for them to engage and over time

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Speaker 7: it does happen.

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Speaker 2: The Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping

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Speaker 2: people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part

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Speaker 2: of this every time you give to the Salvation Army.

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Speaker 2: Visit Salvation Army USA dot org to offer your support.

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Speaker 2: You can subscribe to Words of Life on your favorite

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Speaker 2: podcast store or visit Salvation armyesoundcast dot org. Join us

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Speaker 2: next time for the Salvation Armies Words of Life.

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Speaker 3: These are the worst.

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Speaker 2: Life.

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Speaker 7: The words are the words out of life.

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Speaker 4: Thanks so much for listening to Words of Life. We

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Speaker 4: want to thank the team at Life Audio for their

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Speaker 4: partnership with us on the show. Visit lifeaudio dot com,

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Speaker 4: where you'll find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in

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