1 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 2: Hi there, it's Dana sche and welcome to the Rebuilding 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 2: US Marriage Podcast. Hey there, everyone, Welcome to the show. 4 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to have you on today's episode. Today's 5 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 2: conversation is such a powerful one. I'm really excited about 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: this one you all, especially if you've ever found yourself 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: wondering am I doing the right thing as a mom? 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 2: Like are we doing this mom thing right? Or is 9 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 2: there more I should be doing? Or am I actually 10 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 2: in my calling? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Well, 11 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: today I'm joined by Ronda Stop. She is an author, 12 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 2: a speaker, and a mentor to women across generations. Ronda 13 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: has spent decades helping moms to build what she calls 14 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,959 Speaker 2: a no regrets life. I think we all want that right. Well, 15 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: in this episode, we're diving into her newest book, Moms 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: of the Bible. I want to read this subtitle to 17 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 2: you because's super powerful. Moms of the Bible Life changing 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: lessons from the fearless, flawed and Faithful. So we're unpacking 19 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 2: what it really looks like to embrace motherhood as a calling, 20 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,279 Speaker 2: not just a role. We talk about everything from learning 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: through in perfect examples in scripture does that sound familiar? 22 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,839 Speaker 2: If it does, yeah, you've been reading my book Tried 23 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 2: and True. We also talk about breaking generational patterns. We 24 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 2: talk about the tension that so many women feel between 25 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 2: being present at home and pursuing purpose outside the home, 26 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 2: and Ronda really shares a lot from her own journey. 27 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 2: She shares so much wisdom about surrender, identity, and Christ 28 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: and what it truly means to prioritize the ministry happening 29 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 2: right inside your own home hashtag convicted. If you've ever 30 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 2: felt the pressure to do more, be more, or if 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 2: you've questioned whether just quote being a mom is enough, 32 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: this conversation is going to realign your heart in all 33 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 2: the best ways. So I want you to make sure 34 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: that you lean into this one. If you are a mom, 35 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 2: if you are a woman who has desired to raise 36 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 2: up this next generation with intention, faith and freedom, but 37 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 2: you don't want to lose yourself, you don't want to 38 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 2: stop being who you really are, then this book is 39 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 2: for you, and this conversation is for you. So let's 40 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 2: jump into my amazing conversation with Ronda. 41 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: Stop all right, Ronda, Well. 42 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 2: I'm really excited for us to jump into this conversation. 43 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: I was reading through some of your book and it's 44 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: so interesting. I was telling you this before we started recording, 45 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 2: but we had similar thoughts when we both wrote our books. 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 2: You write from the lens of these imperfect moms in 47 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 2: the Bible. I write from a lens of imperfect couples 48 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 2: in the Bible. So I'm going to ask you a question, 49 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 2: if you will ask me all the time, what was 50 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 2: the idea behind this? Like you've written other books before, 51 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 2: so why now, why talk about moms of the Bible now? 52 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,399 Speaker 1: Well, I was an imperfect mom, and I remember when 53 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: I needed help becoming a better mine, and I didn't 54 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: know what to do, so I looked around at moms 55 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,679 Speaker 1: I wanted to emulate. My husband was in youth ministry. 56 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: He also for eighteen years. He was a senior pastor 57 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: for twenty five years following that. And you know, it's 58 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: kind of cool when you're in ministry because you get 59 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: the privilege of watching kids grow up and you can 60 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: kind of discern as you're watching the parents and the 61 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: moms interact with them. So when I knew that wasn't 62 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: the mom I wanted to be, my parents were both teenagers. 63 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: My mom was figuring it out. We grew up together. 64 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: My husband's mom had Alzheimer's, so by the time I 65 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: had my second child, I didn't have her input in 66 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: my life and I needed to know what to do. 67 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: So I went to some of the moms of our 68 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: teens and our youth group, and I was like, I 69 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: want to know what you know. And they just invited 70 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: me to a Bible study. And I was like, I 71 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: don't want a Bible study. I want to know what 72 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: you know. And they were like, come to our Bible study. 73 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: I was the only thirty something woman. I guess I 74 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: was in my twenties. Then at the Bible study, everybody 75 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: else was older, and I remember thinking this is going 76 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: to be boring, but it was amazing because they unpacked 77 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: from their own highs and lows what God taught them 78 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: along the way. And you know, we can I can 79 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: always say I can write a letter to my younger self. 80 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't do anyone any good. But if I write 81 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: a letter to you in the form of one of 82 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: my books and I send it home with you, now 83 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: it has the power because it's the word of God 84 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: weaved all through the book. It has the power to 85 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: change to transform. So why this time in history did 86 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: I write this one? It just seemed like the right time. 87 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: I did not do any writing until my last child 88 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: graduated from high school, and I was real busy at 89 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: one point, speaking and traveling a lot. And the Lord 90 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: just really convicted me, You're going to lose Kayla. She's 91 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: your priority. Ministry, focus on Kayla. And I cried. I 92 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: didn't want to quit, but I also knew that that 93 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: was what God had called me to praise the Lord. 94 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 1: I mean, she's just delightful. She's the one that has 95 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 1: five children, that lives next door to us. But at 96 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: this season of my life, God has given me the 97 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: time life stories discernment, and it's just been an opportunity 98 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: to mentor women in this generation through the pages of 99 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: scripture and through the pages of my books. 100 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 3: Hey friends, how often do you speak life over yourself? 101 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 3: Did you know that psychologists and theologians both support the 102 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 3: power of affirmations. When I wake up every morning, I 103 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 3: speak positive affirmations, all from the Word of God. It's 104 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: totally changed my life. Imagine starting each day with renewed confidence, hope, 105 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 3: and peace. I want to invite you into this practice 106 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 3: of speaking life and to jumpstart your journey, I've created 107 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 3: a soothing, meditative audio just for my Faith Friday listeners. 108 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 3: You can listen to this audio each and every day. 109 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 3: It's yours for free at danashay dot com, Forward slash 110 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 3: Speak Life. It's time that you take captive every thought 111 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 3: and make it obedient to the world of God. Download 112 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 3: your free audio today at Danashay dot com Forward Slash 113 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,359 Speaker 3: Speak Life. 114 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. Interestingly enough, my daughter's name is Kayla as well. 115 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 2: I was reading through year bio and I was like, 116 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 2: I don't know if Kayla is her daughter or her 117 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 2: daughter in law, but yeah, funny, funny we spell hers 118 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: with the sea. All my kids or sea names, and 119 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 2: we have four children as well. You know, you said 120 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 2: something that I really do want to kind of hone 121 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: in a little bit because for years you've heard of 122 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 2: mops and now it's called mom co. I was a 123 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 2: mentor mom with MOPS, and just similar to you, I 124 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 2: was a very young mom and I wanted mentorship. Like 125 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 2: I knew I had a great mother, but I knew 126 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 2: that I needed more. I wanted to really see what 127 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 2: some of the moms that I looked up to, like, 128 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 2: what was their stories, how did they deal with certain things. 129 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 2: I had three boys and a girl, and I really 130 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 2: think that there's something to be said about the humility 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 2: that it takes, I think for a younger mom to 132 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 2: say I need help, I need wisdom. I have a 133 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: conversation actually scheduled tomorrow with a girl who doesn't even 134 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 2: go to our church anymore, but she just reached out like, 135 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 2: I have a lot of parenting needs. Can you just 136 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 2: sit with me? And I was like, let's do it. 137 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 2: But one of the things that I'm finding is and 138 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 2: I was just having a conversation with a good friend 139 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 2: of mine yesterday. She's a stay at home mom and 140 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 2: her kids are kind of like in that middle school, 141 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 2: you know season, and she's thinking like, I love being 142 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 2: a stay at home mom. I'm not complaining. I'm grateful 143 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 2: for it, but there's got to be more, Like is 144 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 2: there something more that God has me to do? You 145 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 2: said that you are in a very busy season of ministry, 146 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 2: and the Lord told you stop focus on your daughter. 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 2: So how do you counsel women moms who are feeling 148 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 2: a little anxious or who are feeling like am I 149 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 2: supposed to be doing more than just being a mom? 150 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 2: Like what would you say to them. 151 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, the scripture that comes to mind is to 152 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by 153 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: the renewing of your mind. This is the key that 154 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: you may prove. What is that good, acceptable, and perfect 155 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: will of the Word of God is what's our path? 156 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: It lights, It lights the path, It gives us the 157 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: it's our rear guard. It shows us what God wants 158 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: us to do. Even on a daily basis, if we 159 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: are not washing our minds with the water of the Word, 160 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: we can get so busy with the captivity of activity, 161 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: which I talk about in Moms of the Bible, that 162 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: we miss opportunities right in front of us in our home. 163 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: We do things in our own strength, which ends up, 164 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: you know, we get offended because nobody appreciated what we did. 165 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: Or we're always down at the church. I mean, my 166 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: kids were pastor's kids, and I always say, your PK 167 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: can be okay, but you have to understand they're your 168 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: priority ministry. I have an ebook out on Amazon. It's 169 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: called I Sleep with the Pastor. It's a fifty two 170 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 1: week devotional for pastor's wives. Because people ask as soon 171 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: as you started a new church, like what do you do? 172 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: Do you saying do this, do that, and it's like, nope, 173 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: I'm minister to your minister. I sleep with the pastor 174 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: and I'm the only one that God called to serve 175 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: that pastor in that way. But pastor's wives kind of 176 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,839 Speaker 1: get under the pressure, or just ministry wives. I was 177 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: a youth pastor's wife for eighteen year, same thing, doing 178 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: more because I'm the pastor's wife. I should do more. 179 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: I should do more, And we kind of leave our 180 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: kids in the dust. And our kids rebel against ministry 181 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: because we chose our ministry over our children. So there's 182 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: a real understanding. Our kids are not the interruption to 183 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 1: our ministry. They are our ministry. And God's called us 184 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: in history for this time to raise children that want 185 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: to know our Lord. And the only way they're going 186 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: to want to know him is if our light is 187 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: shining so brightly that it's irresistible, because if we're living 188 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: too busy or hypocrisy, they're not going to want our Jesus. 189 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: If there's a lot of state. 190 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it so much. You open up your 191 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 2: book talking about the calling that we have as moms, 192 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 2: and I think that that's so important to underscore and 193 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 2: to remind moms that we do have a calling. We're 194 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: not not just taxi services, you know, we're not just thanks. Oh, 195 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 2: we have a calling. And so how would you describe 196 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: the calling of every mother? 197 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: The people that God raised up and is raising up 198 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: in history or his purposes. Their first teachers were not theologians, 199 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: They were their mothers. They were God ordained people that 200 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: God put in their lives. My son Tony didn't come 201 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: to our family till he was fifteen years old. And 202 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: it's never too late. So if you're hearing this and 203 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: you're like, ah, my kids are teenagers, or oh my 204 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: step son just moved in with us, or all those things, 205 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: what you don't know, you don't know, But you know 206 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: now that this is a calling. And I always tell women, 207 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: if if God called you to the mission field, you 208 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: would with urgency, learn the language of the place you 209 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: were going, by the clothes that match the culture so 210 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: you fit in. You would learn all the things that 211 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: you had to learn before you stepped into that airplane 212 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: to take you to a foreign land to share the gospel. 213 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: And then while you were there you would be in 214 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: the word. You would ask the Lord to cause you 215 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 1: to walk where he would have you walk, serve where 216 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: he would have you heard, say what you would have 217 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: you say. And with motherhood we forget that this is 218 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: our mission field. We don't approach it like it's our 219 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 1: mission field. We approach it in survival mode. And there's 220 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: a section in like you were saying at the very 221 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: beginning of this book that I start out when it 222 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: talks about your calling as a mom. I'll be a 223 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: bed I'll be a better mom tomorrow, I whispered to 224 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: myself before drifting off to sleep. But when tomorrow never came, 225 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: mom guilt plagued me. My anguished soul felt guilt. Being 226 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: a fun, loving, good mom was what I hoped for, 227 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: but in reality, I spent many days in survival modes, 228 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: snapping at my kids when they spilled their milk and 229 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: worrying over how we were going to pay for their 230 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: extra curricular activities. It goes on to say I wasn't 231 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: always on the struggle bus, but mom life has seasons 232 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: of highs and lows, and I always wanted my kids 233 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: to remember the highs right, But the lows seem to 234 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: be the ones that have the biggest imprint. So what 235 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: do we do. We look to mentors and God gave us, 236 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: he wrote in Scripture four, our learning the stories of 237 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 1: moms in the Bible, And it's easy to just look 238 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: at the highlight reel, you know, like the Mary was, 239 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: you know, Jesus mother. Of course she was in the 240 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:00,599 Speaker 1: highlight reel. But it's like one of the stories I 241 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: tell in the book is about Herodias. So let's just 242 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 1: take a minute. She was a flawed mom. She was 243 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: a bad mom. She was married to Herod, and Herod 244 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: had put John the Baptist in jail because John the 245 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: Baptist had approached them for their sin, because Herodias had 246 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: left her first husband to marry her husband's brother. In 247 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: where we pick up in the book, Salome, Herodias's daughter, 248 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:30,959 Speaker 1: just danced before Herod and Herod, I'm going to give 249 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: you half my kingdom. Girl. That was the best dance 250 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: I've ever seen. I will give you half my kingdom. 251 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: So Salome runs to her mama and it's like, what 252 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: should I ask for? Now? Think about it. If your 253 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: daughter asked you what should I ask for? You'd be like, 254 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: get a palace, get a new chariot, get you know, 255 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: a career, in the you know that you're always going 256 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: to have a place in the kingdom. Whatever. Her mom 257 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: was so bitter, so resemful, so angry, so ready to 258 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 1: look for an opportunity to harm John the Baptist that 259 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: her response was, I've got that asked for John Batch's 260 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: head on a platter. Salome would have known her mom. 261 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: She would have known the kind of mom I mean. 262 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: And isn't it weird if you've ministered to people at all, 263 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: people that have abusive mothers, like try so hard to 264 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,959 Speaker 1: please their mother, Like they try so hard to please 265 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 1: their mom, even if they know their mom is a 266 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: bad mom. It's like, this is going to make her 267 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: proud of me, This is going to make her love 268 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 1: me more. Whatever. So Salome doesn't bat Andy goes right over, 269 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: gives up any thing that she could have asked for 270 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: to satisfy her mom's bitter request, give me John the 271 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: Baptist head on a poof Some of us have been 272 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: raised by moms like that. Some of us have been 273 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: moms like that. And I'm here to tell you if 274 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: you have been a mom like that, it's never too late. 275 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,439 Speaker 1: God takes our sins as far as East is from 276 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: the West, and he will forgive us, and he will 277 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: remember them no more, and he will cause us to 278 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 1: walk in newness of life. He takes our old and 279 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: makes it new. But for some of us, we get 280 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 1: stuck in resentment and bitterness over the mom that was 281 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: like that. And that is what that whole chapter is about, 282 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: having a mom that you can't shake, the harm that 283 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: was done to you by her neglect, by her hurtful words, 284 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: by her anger, all of those things. And that chapter 285 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: is on forgiveness. It's on breaking free from the person 286 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: who has a hold on your life, because hatred and 287 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: love both knit us to the person. And God doesn't 288 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: want us to be burdened by that hatred and that 289 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: bitterness and that unforgiveness. But it's only in Christ that 290 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: we can let go of that resentment and bitterness. And 291 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: God can give us the ability to forgive even the 292 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: most heinous mother that you might have had. 293 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 2: And that's what makes the word of God so powerful. 294 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 2: You know, We've got the culture that's basically saying away 295 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 2: with my parents who are triggering me and trauma bonds 296 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 2: and all of the things, and I don't want to 297 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 2: make light of those things, right However, those of us 298 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 2: who are in Christ. There's another way. There's the way, 299 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 2: the paws for forgiveness that sets us free as well 300 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 2: as gives our parents. You know, I think about my parents, 301 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 2: and you know, I didn't grow up I had a 302 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 2: great mom, but I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. 303 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 2: And my mother, I think, did the best that she could. 304 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 2: She loved us well, she taught us Jesus. I'm so 305 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 2: thankful to her for that. She didn't farm us off 306 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 2: to the church. She taught us. She discipled us, which 307 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for. But I've had to walk through 308 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: seasons of forgiveness for the things that my mom has done. 309 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 2: And now that I have adult children, I'm sure that 310 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: they have had to walk through forgiveness for some of 311 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: the things that I've done. And I really believe that 312 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 2: when we can model what forgiveness looks like to our 313 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 2: kids more as caught than taught. We often say that, 314 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 2: and so when we're able to model that before our children, 315 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 2: we are discipling them and these very very formative years 316 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 2: and these very important principles of life. So I want 317 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 2: to know Ronda, as you were writing this book, obviously 318 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 2: you know your kids are grown. You've done the thing 319 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: your emptiness right now, you've got the rank is that 320 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 2: you're helping to raise. Essentially, is there a specific mom 321 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 2: in maybe your earlier years of parenting that you identified 322 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 2: with from the book. 323 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: Well, I think the mom that I feel I can 324 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: identify with would be Oh, there's so many of them. 325 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: Let me think for a minute. I mean Mary's story. 326 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: I don't at all identify with Mary the virgin Mary 327 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: and how wonderful she was. But it took such courage 328 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: to say yes to the angel Gabriel when he said, hey, 329 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: I got a job for you. And it's so interesting 330 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: how he spoke to her, not to Joseph. He told 331 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: her he was going to make her the mother of 332 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: the Messiah, not Joseph. That's scary. And what I love 333 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: about Mary's story is she knew scripture, so she knew 334 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: the Messiah was promised. And if you study Bible history, 335 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: you will find that Daniel pointed right too, when Jesus 336 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: would ride in on that donkey for the triumphal entry. 337 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: Anyone who knew the Bible wasn't the Bible back then, 338 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: the writings knew the time of their visitation was upon them, 339 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 1: and she had faith to say yes, even when her 340 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 1: parents weren't told. Joseph wasn't told. I mean she asked 341 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: a question, but I've not known a man, and she 342 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 1: didn't ask in rebellion. She was curious, like, I don't 343 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: know how this could happen. And then what does she say, 344 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: do unto me as you have said? I love that, 345 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: and her prayer a little glimpse of her prayer later, 346 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: she says, my soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit 347 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: rejoices in God, my savior, for he who as mighty, 348 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: has done great things for me. Holy is his name. 349 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 1: She knew her God so well. And then the chapter 350 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: unfolds that Joseph was like, girl, I'm going to put 351 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: you away quietly. And where does she go? She doesn't 352 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 1: stick around to try to convince everyone. She would have 353 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 1: been fearful of rejection and of everyone knowing of her 354 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 1: reputation being soiled. The angel Gabriel had said, oh, by 355 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: the way, your cousin Elizabeth is pregnant in her old age, 356 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 1: and it's miraculous of the Lord too. So where does 357 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: she go? She runs to her cousin's house, and as 358 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: soon as she walks in. Elizabeth has John the Baptist 359 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: in her womb, and it jumps in. He jumps in 360 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: her womb, and she said, how is it the mother 361 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: of my Lord is here. She got the affirmation right 362 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,880 Speaker 1: away from an older cousin, a Titus two woman. That's 363 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: my website. I'm sorry. My podcast is called Old Ladies 364 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: No Stuff because older women teach the younger. And she 365 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: knew where to go. She went to Elizabeth and Elizabeth 366 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: and she I imagine as their bellies grew and their babies, 367 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: they were both pregnant for the first time, they would 368 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: have shared stories. I have daughters and daughters in law 369 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: that have been pregnant at the same time, and it's 370 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: so fun to watch them grow together and share all 371 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: their bodily functions that they're talking about. And then even 372 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: it was kind of fun because Elizabeth's husband couldn't talk, 373 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 1: like God silenced him because of his disbelief. So it 374 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 1: was just these two women just chatting away, and you know, 375 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 1: he was just sitting there taking it all in. And 376 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: then right before John the Baptist was born, Mary goes home. 377 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: I can only imagine how much prayer went into the 378 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: time that Mary and Elizabeth spent together. She went home 379 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: not knowing what Joseph was going to say. In the meantime, 380 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: God sent an angel to tell Joseph, this is of 381 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: the Lord, take her as your wife. I love that 382 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: story because of the courage that it took to say 383 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: yes to God when it didn't make sense. And I 384 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: feel like nothing like what happened with Mary. We moved 385 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 1: to the middle of nowhere, USA thirty six years ago. 386 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: My husband had a dream to live in the country 387 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: and be debt free, and we moved into a one 388 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: bedroom house. We lived on a generator for almost three years. 389 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 1: I bought a bututane curling iron in the eighties. I 390 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 1: know it saved our marriage. I'm sure of it. 391 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,719 Speaker 2: Tane curl I wouldn't even know what that is. 392 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: And in the eighties you did not do your hair. 393 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,199 Speaker 1: You had to have a curling iron. You were not 394 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 1: leaving the house without your hair well scud. You couldn't 395 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: plug it in, you had that little shh. It was beutane. Anyway, 396 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: I followed his dream, but I cried a lot of tears, 397 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 1: and I slept on a sofa bed with him in 398 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: the living room. The two kids we had had the 399 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: only bedroom. We had a surprise pregnancy with my youngest, 400 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: which was Kayla. I cried a lot of tears. I 401 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,399 Speaker 1: was postpartum. After Kayla was born, it was a difficult season. 402 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 1: My parents, my husband's parents moved to a house on 403 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: our ranch because his mom came down with Alzheimer's. I 404 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: had to watch her while they would go to town without her. 405 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: It was a difficult season with lots of tears. But 406 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: I trusted my husband's dream. And it doesn't mean I 407 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: didn't tell him this is all you, buddy, I'm living 408 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: your dream, not mine. I was not the most gracious 409 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 1: about it. Years later, a small church down the backside 410 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: of the mountain where we live found my husband offered 411 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: him a job as their pastor, and it was a 412 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: small church with a small budget, and because we had 413 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: followed his dream to be debt free and live in 414 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: the country, this little town we didn't even know of 415 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,400 Speaker 1: hired him as their pastor on a very tiny budget. 416 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: He added onto our house as we had the money, 417 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 1: but he was able to take that job and he 418 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 1: just retired from there after twenty five years of being 419 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:06,959 Speaker 1: their pastor. If we had not had that, we'd had 420 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 1: to live in a parsonage, or we never even would 421 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 1: have found that small town. So it took courage to 422 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: say yes to my comfortable California Bay Area lifestyle in 423 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,199 Speaker 1: my great house that he had just remodeled for me. 424 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: I was scared and I was sad, but I also 425 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: trusted that God was leading my husband, and so I 426 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: hope that answers your question. 427 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's interesting because again, I'm sure that 428 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 2: you can read through these different moms and say, probably, oh, 429 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 2: I identify with this one here, or I identify with that one. 430 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 2: You have multiple kids, as I do, and I love 431 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,719 Speaker 2: the story about Rebecca. I wrote about Rebecca in my 432 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: book as well, and my title was called Parenting Fails. 433 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 2: I think you titled yours if I remembering this correctly, 434 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 2: Playing favorites leads to disaster. Yeah, yeah, so Rebecca, I 435 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 2: think about a lot of moms because I don't believe 436 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 2: most of us in ten choose favorites. But like I 437 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 2: said in my book, I think a lot of times 438 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 2: you identify with the child that's most like you. I 439 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 2: have two older sisters. They're convinced I'm my mom's favorite, 440 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 2: and I know I'm not her favorite, but I think 441 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 2: we're so much alike that it's just easier to have conversations. 442 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 2: And so I'm thinking about a mom right now who 443 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 2: has multiple children and she knows that she kind of 444 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,479 Speaker 2: favors one child, Like, how do you counsel moms to 445 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 2: make sure that they're giving all the kids especially? I 446 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 2: think about if there's a child that is, let's say, 447 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 2: a child that's problematic, their behavioral, you know, their issues there, 448 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 2: it seems like so much attention can go to that 449 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 2: child that the other kids end up feeling left out. 450 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: So how can moms make sure that they are giving 451 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 2: all their children enough love and attention and not favoring 452 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 2: one over the other. 453 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: I think it goes back to our calling. If God's 454 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: called us to this ministry of motherhood, he is the 455 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,399 Speaker 1: one that will equip us and help us, and he 456 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: is the one that gives us the discernment. The Bible says, 457 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,400 Speaker 1: if you lack wisdom, let him ask of God gives 458 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: it liberally. I think as a mom when especially sometimes 459 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: that difficult child is the one we don't favor because 460 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: they are just exhausting and we have to spend more 461 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 1: time with them. But we're also triggered by them, or 462 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 1: irritated by them, or whatever, and that child does not 463 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,360 Speaker 1: feel favored, even though you're spending way more time with them. 464 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 1: The Bible says that God is not a respector of persons, 465 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 1: that he is not playing favorites, that we're all his favorite. Lord, 466 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: I want to be like Jesus. I want to love 467 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: the way Jesus loves and I can't. And the Bible 468 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: says you have not because you ask not. Lord. I 469 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 1: know that I tend to favor the easier child, or 470 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,880 Speaker 1: the one that's more like me, or sometimes the one 471 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 1: that's most like us, or the least favorite, because we 472 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: see all of our flaws in them and we go 473 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: conflict with them. But Lord, I want to love these 474 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: children equally. I want each of my children to think 475 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,119 Speaker 1: that they're my favorite. And I cannot do this on 476 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: my own. Will you love them through me? Lord, I 477 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 1: will do the work. I will wash my mind with 478 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: the water of the word, will memorize scripture. I will 479 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 1: seek first your kingdom and your righteousness. Will you convict 480 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: me when I act like I'm favoring one child over another? 481 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 1: And will you cause me to be sensitive to your 482 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:15,640 Speaker 1: spirit and to respond immediately in obedience and repentance. It's 483 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: a it's a it's not an easy thing. But here's 484 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: this thing about about Rebecca's story. Her favoritism over her 485 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 1: son is later visited. It visited on Jacob who becomes 486 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: Israel when he favors Joseph with the Code of Many Colors. 487 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 1: So it's a it's a generational pass down the same 488 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 1: thing that happened to him, which caused him to have 489 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 1: to flee his homeland and not be Ever, as far 490 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: as we know, Rebecca never saw her grandchildren from Jacob. 491 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: As far as we know, it cost her those years 492 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:53,120 Speaker 1: with those grandchildren. And yet Joseph did the I'm sorry. 493 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: Israel did the exact same thing by favoring Joseph and 494 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: obviously giving him a Code of Many Colors, saying your 495 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,640 Speaker 1: mom was my favorite. She you know, after Benjamin was born, 496 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: Mom died, so I'm sure he was grieved over that. 497 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,680 Speaker 1: But he created the very thing that Rebecca created with 498 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: the twins Jacob and Isa. He created with Joseph and 499 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: his brothers. It was a generational thing that was passed 500 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: down because it didn't get handled at Rebecca's level. 501 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 2: And speaking of generational curses, generational traumas. You know, when 502 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties, I had to pray. 503 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 2: We had a long history of teen pregnancies and divorce 504 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,400 Speaker 2: in my family. And so my mom is a tea mom. 505 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 2: Her mom is a team mom. My sister was a 506 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 2: tea mom. I was a team mom. 507 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: You're saying, yeah, you is a team but it was 508 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: in my family. 509 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was in your family. And so I remember, 510 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 2: you know, I was I'd been a Christian for a 511 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 2: long time, but I think I just really started, like 512 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 2: really really maturing in my faith, and I knew that 513 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,240 Speaker 2: this is something that I can take captive and make 514 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 2: it obedient to the knowledge of God. And so that 515 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,919 Speaker 2: was something that I said to my children, like from 516 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,239 Speaker 2: the time I were little, I said, you, guys, we 517 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 2: have broken some curses over our family line. You will 518 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 2: not be teen parents like I had boys. Right, So 519 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 2: it's like it's you're not getting pregnant, You're not getting 520 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 2: anyone else pregnant. Okay, you will not be a teen parent, 521 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 2: and we will not be getting divorced in our family. 522 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 2: And so just saying that and declaring that, and I 523 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,639 Speaker 2: think that that's a powerful reminder for people that we 524 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 2: don't have to just receive these generational pandy downs. We 525 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 2: don't have to just say, oh, well, my parents were dysfunctional, 526 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,439 Speaker 2: so therefore I'm dysfunctional or my parents had mental health problems, 527 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,400 Speaker 2: and so I'm just going to keep passing that on down, 528 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 2: like we can say, wait, like it stops here. And 529 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 2: so I really want to talk about as we kind 530 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 2: of wrap this. You know, there's this thought out there 531 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 2: that I think a lot of especially younger moms, And 532 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's looking at culture. I don't 533 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 2: know if it's just because of so many demands that 534 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 2: women have on us, but like there's this conversation that is, 535 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 2: how do I be a great mom? How do I 536 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 2: love my children well without losing myself? What would you 537 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 2: tell a mom that's kind of struggling with that dichotomy? 538 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: Wow, The scripture that comes to my mind is greater 539 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: love has no man than this, that he lays down 540 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 1: his life for a friend. We lay down our lives 541 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,719 Speaker 1: for our kids. We do lose ourself. We lose ourselves 542 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: in Christ. And as we are willing to die to 543 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,880 Speaker 1: ourselves daily to take up our cross and follow him, 544 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: we become the best version of ourself that we ever 545 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: dreamed we could be. Because God says, I know the 546 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: plans I have for you to prosper you, not to 547 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: harm you, to give you a hope in a future. 548 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: People love that scripture, but God's still talking. It's like 549 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 1: when you get directions, Like back before we had GPS, 550 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: you go to the gas station, someone gives you directions, 551 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: you drive away before he finishes. God's like, I'm not done. 552 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,600 Speaker 1: It continues. If you seek me, you will find me. 553 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 1: If you search for me with your whole heart, I 554 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: will be found of you. Declare so the Lord that's 555 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: our sweet spot. You search for him his character. I 556 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: love your book. Tell me the name of your book again. 557 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 1: I want this to yes book and driving us to 558 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,919 Speaker 1: the word of God. He gave us a path, He 559 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: gave us truth to transform us. We don't have to 560 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: try harder to be different. We become changed by the 561 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 1: renewing of our mind, and we look back at our 562 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: lives and we're not who we would be. I come 563 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: from a long line of addiction. My sister died of 564 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 1: an overdose in twenty twenty one. We were only fourteen 565 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 1: months apart. And it's just a heart wrench, but the 566 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 1: long family history of addiction. There's nothing in me that 567 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't be just like that except that Christ saved me. 568 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 1: And I want my kids to know that. When my 569 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 1: sister passed away, my oldest granddaughter, she was old enough 570 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: to understand, and she was asking questions about, you know, 571 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 1: why would she do something like that? And I was 572 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,120 Speaker 1: able to tell her I would do something like that 573 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: except for Christ in me, the hope of glory that 574 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 1: would have been my heritage. I would have lived the 575 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: same way that gives them hope that whatever you're dealing with, 576 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to identify you. My identity is in Christ. 577 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: And so when we are so willing to say I 578 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 1: am going to lose myself in motherhood and again it's 579 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: for a season. My youngest daughter, Kayla, when she was 580 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 1: in high school, he was like, I don't even remember 581 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: what year, maybe a freshman. I went to a pastor's 582 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: wives conference. I used to speak at pastor's wive's conference, 583 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 1: and there was a guy there that was a counselor 584 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 1: and he was talking about how he had been all 585 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: in with ministry and he lost his son. His son 586 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: ended up being in the mafia. The Mexican mafia selling 587 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: drugs and now his sons in prison. And he said, 588 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 1: I loved being there for my people, but I wasn't 589 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: there for my family. And he said, don't lose your children. 590 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: Your kids are your priority ministry. And I left that 591 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 1: conference in tears because I was speaking and traveling and doing. 592 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: I loved everything I was doing, and the Lord just 593 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: it not I never hear God's audible voice, but the 594 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 1: conviction that you cannot miss was you're going to lose Kayla. 595 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm not willing to lose one 596 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: of my children so that I can have a ministry 597 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,920 Speaker 1: out there. And I quit everything. Doesn't mean I didn't 598 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: teach a Bible study in church, or I didn't say 599 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 1: yes to a woman's tea here and there, but I 600 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: quit everything. And I remember driving to town. It's a 601 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 1: forty minute drive to town. We live in the middle 602 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: of nowhere, and I was driving in my car and 603 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 1: I was weeping before the Lord. It was the last 604 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 1: day of Kayla's last day of high school, my last 605 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: child to graduate. They were all going to be away 606 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: at school southern California or at different locations, and I 607 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: was like, Lord, what am I supposed to do now? 608 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: I literally have not put any effort into what's next. 609 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: And it was like the Lord just dragged me through 610 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: open doors. I met someone who was an editor for 611 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: Harvest House Publishers, met the president of Harvest House. I 612 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: was at the Shepherd's conference down in southern California with 613 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,280 Speaker 1: my husband, who was a pastor, and they just said, 614 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: tell me about your speaking topics. I said, well, my 615 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 1: most favorite ones. Mom's raising sons to be men. It's 616 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 1: standing room only at homeschool conventions. And Bob Hawkins is like, 617 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 1: I want you to write that book for us. Oh, 618 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: I'm not a writer. I'm a speaker. I'm an evangelist. 619 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: I dangle my particibles, I run on my sentences. Ha 620 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: ha ha, I'm not a writer. And my editor now, 621 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 1: his name's Steve Miller. He said, Runna. We used to 622 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: look for writers, now we look for speakers. And we 623 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: teach him how to write. He said, we can't teach 624 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 1: writers how to speak, but we can teach speakers how 625 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: to write. And he taught me how to write. And 626 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: it took me a year before my first book came 627 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: out because he would do a page and send it 628 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: back and send it back. It was like doing a 629 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: term pay once a month. I'd get it back with 630 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: his writing all over it. But what the point of 631 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 1: that whole story is. I obeyed in the moment I 632 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: lost myself in my motherhood. I was the pastor's wife. 633 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 1: I know some women get mad because I'm not the 634 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,479 Speaker 1: pastor's wife. I'm this, I'm that, I am. I am 635 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: a minister to the minister, and no one else can 636 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,240 Speaker 1: do what I do for that man. And I'm good 637 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 1: with that. In God's timing, he opens the doors that 638 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,479 Speaker 1: he wants to use us. And so, yeah, lose yourself 639 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: in your motherhood, lose yourself in that ministry because it's 640 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 1: what God's called us to in this season and end 641 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 1: so doing as you find your identity in Christ, he 642 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: will do. He can entrust you to do in and 643 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,400 Speaker 1: through you, far greater things than he ever could do, 644 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 1: because He says, humble yourself under my mighty hand, and 645 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 1: I will exalt you and do time right. He resists 646 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 1: the proud, He gives grace to the humble. Sometimes it's 647 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 1: our pride that's like I'm not just a mom, and 648 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 1: it's like, wow, I want to it's it's not just 649 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: wiping boogers and bums all day long. I am amazing 650 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: the next generation of world changers. And I don't want 651 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: to miss what God has for me right here in 652 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: my so. 653 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 2: Good RNDA, so so good. Well, I know we have 654 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,120 Speaker 2: to wrap, but I just cannot. I hear your grandchildren 655 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 2: in the background. I'm like, this is so this is 656 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 2: so on brand. But what about being a grandmother. It's 657 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 2: so different. Like, I know you've probably if you're not 658 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 2: raising them every day, But what about being a grandmother? 659 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 2: Do you know now that you're like if I would 660 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 2: have known this when I was mothering my children. 661 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 1: Well, first of all, there's an urgency. I'm going to 662 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,479 Speaker 1: be sixty five years old. I don't know how long 663 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to have my health or my mind. And 664 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,239 Speaker 1: I want to spend as much time pouring into them 665 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: as I can. I want to play with them. I 666 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: have time to play with them. We took our sixteen 667 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: year old out to lunch, just Steve and I after 668 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: church Sunday, just her, just to see how she's doing. 669 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: Had let them come play at my house. I always 670 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: helll them trash my house in Jesus name, I don't 671 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,160 Speaker 1: care put away. You're junk that you don't want them 672 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: to break. Who cares that they want? You want them 673 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: to want to be at your house. And then you 674 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 1: have those conversations and you live out your faith in 675 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: front of them in a real and genuine way. And 676 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 1: I always say people of her possessions, like your stuff 677 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,160 Speaker 1: does not matter, put it away. And like just yesterday, 678 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: I had my two granddaughters that had a little conflict. 679 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 1: They're usually very close, and one was feeling sad that 680 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,840 Speaker 1: the other one walked away without telling her. They were 681 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: down in the meadow catching pollywogs, and the other one 682 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 1: came up to the house and she looked around and 683 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,239 Speaker 1: she was gone, and she felt like she ditched her 684 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: and she was weeping. And I'm sure it's a hormonal 685 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: thing that's getting ready to start in her little body too, 686 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: And so I explained hormones to her. And then that 687 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: was ivy. I called Everley to come upstairs, and I'm like, hey, 688 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 1: let's talk about what just happened. And I was like, you, guys, 689 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 1: here's the thing. We have to believe the best about 690 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: each other. 691 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 3: First. 692 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: Corinthians thirteen says love bears all things, believes all things, 693 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: hopes all things, and doers all things, believes all things, means, 694 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: believes the best. So, Ivy, you know, Everly is a 695 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,960 Speaker 1: good friend to you, She loves you, and she would 696 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: never intentionally betray or hurt you, right, yeah, So for 697 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 1: you to believe that her walking away was intentional to 698 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: hurt you is really thinking on something that is not true, 699 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: and so that thought can actually drive a wedge between 700 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: this person that you loved dearly. And I'm glad you 701 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 1: said something to me so that we can work through it. 702 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: And Everly, did you realize when you walked away without 703 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,960 Speaker 1: telling her? And she was like, oh, I I'm so sorry. 704 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: I did not even think about telling you. I am 705 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,240 Speaker 1: so sorry that that made you feel like that that 706 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 1: wasn't my intent. And we just talked through how important 707 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: it is, and I loved I was reading your bio 708 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,359 Speaker 1: the conflict resolution and all of that. We talked through 709 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: how to talk through those kinds of things, and I said, 710 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,840 Speaker 1: I have people in my life that don't believe the 711 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: best about me, and I have a hard time wanting 712 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 1: to spend much time with them because I know I'm 713 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,919 Speaker 1: going to let them down at some point, not intentionally 714 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 1: but I'm going to forget their birthday, or I'm going 715 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: to say something that they take the wrong way, or 716 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to hurt their feelings. So I have to 717 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: pull myself up by my bootstraps and be ready to 718 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 1: interact with that person because I know I'm probably going 719 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 1: to offend them, and I have to cover that with love. 720 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 1: You don't want to be that person. You want to 721 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 1: be someone that people trust. She believes the best about me, 722 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,279 Speaker 1: So let's work on that. So they're how they're ten 723 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,319 Speaker 1: and eleven years old. But when I was a mom, 724 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 1: I'm in survival mode. She didn't mean to do that, 725 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,399 Speaker 1: you know, she didn't mean to do that. See I'm sorry, 726 00:34:58,480 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 1: Say I'm sorry. Good, let's go. We got to go. 727 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 1: We got to go to soccer, PRIs or whatever. So yeah, 728 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,239 Speaker 1: as a grandma, there's just so much more time for 729 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:08,399 Speaker 1: those valuable conversations and so much prayer time praying for them. 730 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 1: I woke up early this morning. I was on Dallas 731 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,800 Speaker 1: time because I was just in Dallas speaking at a 732 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,240 Speaker 1: grandparenting conference. Fifteen hundred grandparents all in one room, Intentional 733 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,920 Speaker 1: Grandparenting Legacy Coalition Grandparenting Conference, and I came home, and 734 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm still in Dallas time. So I woke up super early, 735 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,440 Speaker 1: had three grand babies sleeping on the floor in my bedroom, 736 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: so I was trying to be quiet, and I just 737 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,759 Speaker 1: started praying for the salvation of every single one of 738 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: my fifteen grandchildren, and that they would seek first the 739 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: Kingdom of God and his righteousness and follow the Lord 740 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 1: with their whole heart for their whole life. 741 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 2: That's so beautiful, Wanda, Your grandchildren and your children are 742 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 2: so blessed to have you. You know, I think about 743 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: my grandparents and the prayers that they prayed over me 744 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 2: that you know, I'm walking out some of the fruit 745 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 2: of the seeds that they prayed for before I was 746 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 2: ever born, and so your grandchildren will have that same story, 747 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 2: that legacy. So thank you so much for being here. 748 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 2: I want everyone to get the book. I know it 749 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,160 Speaker 2: just came out depending on when you're listening to this 750 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 2: podcast everyone, but it came out in March. It's called 751 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 2: Moms of the Bible, and so you can find it 752 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,880 Speaker 2: on Amazon and everywhere books are sold. Make sure that 753 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,319 Speaker 2: you get a copy, and of course we'll link to 754 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,840 Speaker 2: your the book and then to your website and the 755 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 2: show notes where's the best place If people want to 756 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,279 Speaker 2: connect with you, where's the best place that they can find. 757 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 1: My website is No Regrets Women dot com because I 758 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 1: help you build a no regrets life, and you can 759 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,680 Speaker 1: find the links to my podcast on the homepage. There's 760 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 1: videos of my son, Brandon and I at a Focus 761 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,320 Speaker 1: on the Family interview talking about my mom's and son's book. 762 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: There's a video of my husband and I talking about 763 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 1: our marriage book on there. There are free videos that 764 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: go along with Moms of the Bible that you can 765 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: go in the back of each chapter click on the 766 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 1: QR code or go to my website and it'll take 767 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: you right to those free chapters of me teaching on them. 768 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: If you go to the website No Regrets Women dot com, 769 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,200 Speaker 1: a pop up will pop up and you can give 770 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 1: me your email dress I promise I won't bombard you 771 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,919 Speaker 1: and send you a million emails. I promise. I don't 772 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,680 Speaker 1: have time to do that. But you will get a 773 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: free first chapter of the Book of Moms of the Bible, 774 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: and it's on rehab and it's my favorite, my favorite 775 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,760 Speaker 1: chapters in the book. So lots of ways to connect, 776 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 1: lots of ways to follow you can follow my uh 777 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,160 Speaker 1: subscribe to my podcast Old Ladies Know Stuff through There 778 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:09,880 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. 779 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 2: Love it so much, Fron, thank you so much for 780 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 2: being here with us. This has been such a great conversation. 781 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,560 Speaker 1: My pleasure. I've enjoyed it. Thank you so much.