WEBVTT - Should a Marriage Be 50/50? 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.040 Today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:05.920 Yeah, I cook one way, she cooked another, which is 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:07.600 one of the downsides in her marriage. Because I put 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:08.680 on fifty pounds. 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:12.559 You put on fifty pounds because you cook. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.000 I cook and she cooks a different way. But we 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:18.400 taught each other how we cook, and we both cooked 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:18.960 very well. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:22.920 I see you put on fifty pounds in four years. Yeah, 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:28.360 you need more yardwork. See that's that's your problem. You're 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:29.800 sharing the yard work. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:34.400 That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Welcome 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:38.720 to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of hours 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:42.000 of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs. I had 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:46.720 to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. Go to Dennisprager dot com. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:47.920 I am old fashioned. 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:49.040 I like two sexes. 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:51.280 I don't know. I think all of a sudden, I 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:52.960 don't like being married to one is known as a 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:53.520 new woman. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:55.480 I want a wife, not a competitor. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.720 Competitor, competitor, talk about it. 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.440 Bit is crying in the morning thing depression. 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:01.800 You know, let's get that fixed. 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:04.720 That's what men think, isn't it what Unless you've got 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:07.280 the answer, unless you can say, oh, I know this 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.240 bloke in the essex rodical fix that, and there's no 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.000 point bothering. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:12.959 How do you write women so well? 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.000 I think of a man and I take away reason 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:18.280 and accountability. 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:19.800 I love him. 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:21.759 I love him and I don't care what you think. 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:25.000 I love him for the for the man he wants 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.200 to be, and I love him for the man that 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:28.760 he almost is. 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:35.120 What do people have rows about him? Money? Sex, sex, money, 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.880 he wants, she doesn't want, she wants, he doesn't want women. 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:44.280 I've always been a big problem to me, doctor Fusspender. 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:48.880 Are you listening, doctor, Yes, yes, yes, go on, go on. 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:54.520 This is the Male Female Hour on the Tennis Prager Show. 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:58.600 Every week at this time I devote an hour to 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:00.800 men and women. I call it the Male Female Hour 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.040 because it's it's even deeper than just man women Man 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:07.080 women is the higher part of our nature. Male female 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:11.240 is the basic part hi everybody. This is Dennis Praeger 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:15.760 and today's subject is the notion that a marriage should 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.880 be fifty to fifty. This is one of the great 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:25.079 movements of my time, ushered in by the baby boomer generation. 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:30.000 You know how I feel about my generations and intellectual innovations. 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:35.480 So I shan't go afield on that one. But that 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:37.920 has been a very basic one, and I'm sure that 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:44.120 many many marriages have in very with a very good will, 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.720 with a desire to have a good marriage, embrace the 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:52.840 idea of fifty to fifty. In fact, if you did, 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:55.639 and what is fifty to fifty, I was going to say, 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:57.400 In fact, if you did, I want you to call me. 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:01.040 In fact, I do. This is one time where I 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:04.840 invite calls very quickly because I want to know how 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:08.720 you have accepted or if you even tried the fifty 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:11.160 to fifty. Fifty to fifty is very simple to explain. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:18.000 We share income and we share duties. That's it very simple, 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.880 and it makes a lot of sense in theory. If 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.800 we're both going to work for the income, then we 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:28.400 should both do the dishes. We should both make the beds, 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.919 we should both diaper the baby equal number of times. 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:36.240 Or I handle the urination and you handle the defecation. 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:41.320 However you split the duties. No pun intended, but it 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.720 came out anyway. In fact, that was a pun too. 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.800 All right, We'll leave it at that. Anyway, That's what 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.560 I want to talk to you. About because in theory 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:56.080 it sounds great, but I think in practice it has 0:03:56.200 --> 0:04:00.920 probably caused more attention in marriages then it has joy 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:08.240 because what happens is that you keep scorecards. Well, I 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:13.160 did the dishes yesterday, you should be doing them today. 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:19.599 I vacuumed on Wednesday. It's it's now Saturday. You should 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:24.360 be vacuuming whatever. Whatever it is, it's got to keep 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.680 If it's going to be fifty to fifty, by definition, 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:31.080 you're going to have to keep score. And then one 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:35.479 will resent. Do you do you pull your weight in 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:39.479 the marriage. That is why guys so often have women 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:46.400 share the dinner a bill when they're dating. This is 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:51.799 a mentality that has developed among many men and women 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:57.280 young middle aged. Now everything is fifty to fifty one 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:01.359 eight prager seven seven six one eight pr ager seven 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:06.719 seven six, and that is eight seven seven two four 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:11.320 three triple seven six. Do you know a couple that 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:14.599 has attempted fifty to fifty? Did you as it worked 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:18.839 out fifty to fifty income, fifty to fifty house duties? 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:24.240 Because you read all the time about the feminist lament 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:28.120 that well, by golly, she now works outside of the 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:32.279 house and is still the primary caretaker of the house. 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:38.279 What a bum deal. Well, I so don't think that 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:43.200 fifty to fifty works. That I would argue something that 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.600 you may not expect from me, and I will in 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.400 this case, I will even personalize it. I would rather 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:57.440 be the house husband and house an homemaker full time 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:03.240 then have a fifty to fifty deal. I so want 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.960 one hundred or not well ninety if you will. I 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:12.200 so want to be responsible for one specific thing as 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:16.320 a man. That's men need to feel that they are 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:22.160 responsible for some achievement, and I would be. I would 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:26.120 not feel demean if it so worked out. If I 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:28.280 were married to a woman who made a lot more 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.240 money than I, I'd be very practical. You were in 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:34.760 the money, I'll take care of the home. But the 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:37.960 notion of everything fifty to fifty, fifty to fifty income, 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:41.080 fifty to fifty house duties, it may work. And by 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.960 the way, if it works for you, I want you 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:47.039 to say so, I wanted to work for if anything, 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.480 my view is whatever works in a marriage, I wanted 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.799 to work. That's my bottom line. But when I address 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:58.239 specific issues, I think that some which sound good cause 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:02.720 more tension then they do. Love and joy between a couple. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:06.720 Fifty to fifty is an example of something that I 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.680 believe caused more attention. That does not mean that a 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.560 man can never help in the house, of course not. 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.320 And it does not mean that a woman cannot work 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:20.120 outside of the house. No. But fifty to fifty is 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:24.720 fifty to fifty. All right, Let's take your calls here, 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.440 and in some cases it works, and I'll begin with 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:32.160 one just to show you that I want to be 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:36.800 fair on this, but I let me put it to 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:39.800 you this way, since my bottom line is what can 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:45.120 help your marriage. If it works for you, I don't 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:49.400 want you to change it. I don't. In other words, 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:55.640 it's not a moral principles, it's instrumental, not morals. In 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:59.960 other words, what works. I think that for most people 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.960 it doesn't work. But if it does work for you, 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:08.840 keep going. And I want to say that in advance. Alrighty, 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:14.280 and let's go to the one that works immediately, and 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:17.240 that is in Irving, Texas. Irving, Texas is known for 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:21.280 fifty to fifty marriages. Hi, Roy Dennis Prager, thanks for calling. 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.520 My pleasure, Thanks for letting me through. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:27.000 Yes, sir, I'm fortunate. 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:30.280 That this is my second marriage. We've been married for 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:35.800 four years. We both cooked together. We both enjoyed and 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:39.720 doing long work together, yard work. We clean the house together. 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.240 Now when you say you clean it together, you mean 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:44.280 at the same time. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:48.040 Well, technically we'll set aside of one hour on Saturday 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:52.240 morning and with only two of us, I run the 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.599 vacuum and dust and she cleans the bathrooms and we 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.760 clean the kitchen together. And that doesn't always work that 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:03.720 way because sometimes I work on Saturday mornings, and you know, 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.480 some we have a lot of give and take in it. 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.640 We don't hold a scorecard, as you say. You know, 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.600 it's like when we cook. You know, I cook one way, 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.040 she cooked another, which is one of the downsides of 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.040 her marriage, because I put on fifty pounds. 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.880 You put on fifty pounds because you cook. 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.320 I cook and she cooks a different way. But we 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.720 taught each other how we cook, and we both cooked 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:30.240 very well. 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.240 I see you put on fifty pounds in four years. Yeah, 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:39.640 you need more yard work. See that's your problem. You're 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:43.880 sharing the yard work. All right, I thank you kindly. 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:49.280 All right, Well, it's been four years and a second marriage, 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.240 and obviously they're not having kids in this second marriage, 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:56.240 it would have mentioned that, and so that's really where 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.680 a lot of the fifty to fifty problem arises. In 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:03.439 any event, if it works, it works, although he seemed 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:05.200 to say to suggest that there will be a lot 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:09.320 of flexibility. Dottie in Houston, Texas, Hi, Dottie, Dennis Prager. 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:11.520 Hello, thank you for taking my call. 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.600 Thank you for calling. I, like. 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:17.559 Your first caller, was married once am now married again, 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.680 and my experience is very different. In my first marriage, 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:25.040 it was fifty to fifty. We both worked, we both 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:28.480 shared duties, and what I ended up with was a 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:34.400 man who wasn't my leader and I couldn't respect. So eventually, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.440 after fourteen years, the marriage did fall apart because the 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.680 man who wasn't the leader decided he couldn't be a 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:46.040 father and supports and left. Now my second marriage, I 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.360 do the dishes, I cook the foods. But I do 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.520 so because I choose and I want to, and it 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.920 makes me very happy taking care of this man who 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.880 is my leader and whom I respect a great deal. 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.960 And all those times, yeah, I wish you know, come 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:03.960 and help a little bit. At the end of the day, 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:08.319 I am much more happy, and so is he. Because 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.040 even though he doesn't expect me to do these things, 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:15.360 because the norm today is, you know, share duties, do 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.680 fifty to fifty. Anything else, if he asked me to 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:20.440 do them, he probably was guilty. 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.559 All right, all right, it sounds good. Well, I'll have 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:24.920 some reactions when we come back. 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.840 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.920 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:42.679 Dennis Prager here, this is the Male Female Hour. And 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:46.720 it's a very tough subject because it sounds so good 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.400 and I mean it. And you know, one of the 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.640 tricks in life is not to always ascribe to people 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:54.679 you differ with bad motives. I think a lot of 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:58.280 people are very good motives on this issue and want 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:01.719 marriages to work. I certainly do, and if fifty to 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:05.120 fifty works for your marriage, you absolutely should pursue it. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:10.079 And I mean that as not in any way I 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.320 am not compromising with any values and b I am 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:19.000 not patronizing you. That is what I believe if it works. Frankly, 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:23.240 I think if just about anything works that for a 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:26.480 given marriage. I don't believe in an open marriage. So 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.120 if you say it works to you know, wife, swapping 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:31.640 and husband swapping. I don't agree with that because of 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:35.800 moral grounds, but within the bounds of the ethical and 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:39.959 the moral, if it works, then do it. But my 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.160 argument this hour of the male female hour is that 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:46.280 for a lot, for more people, in my opinion, for 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:50.240 more people than not, fifty to fifty doesn't work and 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:55.040 causes tension because people then start to keep a list, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:59.080 and then they get angry. They resent, well, but I 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:02.280 did X yesterday. Why aren't you doing X today? Or 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:04.840 why aren't you doing why? Because I do X, you 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.600 do Y. I do the dishes in and and you 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:14.600 do the beds, and you read articles and you read 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:19.240 the literature. So many women are particularly annoyed because they 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.360 work outside the home and did expect therefore that half 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.640 the home work be done by the man. But most 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.560 guys pay lip service to that ideal when they're in 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:36.119 college because that is the home of utopian thinking and 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:38.559 therefore say oh, I'm totally for fifty to fifty. And 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.400 then they get married and then they become a guy. 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.080 They revert to male nature, which is why it's called 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:48.520 the male female hour. Now regarding the last call, obviously 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:52.000 most of us don't use the terminology leader. But for 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:54.199 those for whom it works, that's fine. But I will 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.679 use terminology that is more modern or more contemporary, and 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:00.960 that is being able to look up to your man. 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:04.880 Women want to do that. Men want to love their 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.520 women and cherish their women and protect their women and 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.480 a woman. That's not the same. Verbiage for a woman 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:13.959 to a man, which is part of the fifty to 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:17.560 fifty battle, was oh, everything he feels toward her, she 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.440 should feel toward him, and vice versa. But doesn't work 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.480 that way unless you believe the ultimate fifty to fifty 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.960 principle that men and women are basically the same, which 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.360 is the genesis of all of the nonsense that arose 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:34.760 in the sixties and seventies. One Aide Praguer seven seven 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:40.160 six And in Cypress, California, it's Paul, Hello, Paul, Dennis Prager, 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.640 Hi Dennis, Thank you, Michael, thank you for calling. 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:44.720 Dennis. 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.760 You hit a major reason why in my marriage and 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:52.600 is a boor. She believe in the fifty to fifties. 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.600 She was raised in in that kind of theology, and 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:59.600 I wasn't. I was thought that love is sacrifice, and 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:01.920 you can measure how much someone loves you by how 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.080 much they're willing to sacrifice for you. In the fifty 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:09.480 to fifty arrangement, there's no sacrificing. One person is doing 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.400 something simply because the other person did something. 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:14.480 There and when you keep. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.560 Score, there is no one person getting up on another 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:21.120 where a sacrifice takes place. For example, if she cook 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.200 me dinner, she would tell me how you do the dishes, 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.640 because I could do dinner. But I would always tell her, no, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.920 I'm doing the dishes because I love you and I 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.200 want to rest. You could meet dinner because you love 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:36.160 me and you want me to be healthy. Not because 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:40.400 one did the other, but because of that, and because 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:44.120 by nature, men tend to forget, women tend to keep 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.160 the memory of the score a little more live. Eventually 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:53.240 the marriage collapsed because we never learned as a couple 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.400 to make sacrifices for one another. 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.000 All right, all right there and go there. There's a 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.200 case where where it didn't work. I happen to believe 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:05.239 that's why this is such an important subject and somewhat complex. 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.880 I do believe in the concept of a contract. I 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.480 guess it comes in part from being a Jew, and 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.680 in Jewish marriages that is what it's called. It's called 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:22.880 a contract. It's very it's very, it's it's it's almost 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.720 like a deal, which I happen to think is a 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.880 good thing. I like that. I don't want to base 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:33.560 everything just on on the notion of love, because love fluctuates, 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.640 but a deal doesn't. A deal is permanent, or at 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.080 least I mean permanent so long as you stay married, 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.840 and the Judaism divorce is allowed. But there is a 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.720 contract called a katuba which the man gives the woman. 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.040 I owe you this, you owe me this. I mean, 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:53.200 it's ancient stuff, it's but the concept is is good. 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:55.960 So I do believe that we owe each other things. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.120 I just don't believe that it's that the owing is 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:06.000 on how work and diaper cleaning. Although I must say 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:12.160 I happen to have loved diaper cleaning. There's no rhyme 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:15.280 or reason to it. I am not grossed out by it, 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:17.520 and b I thought it was a riot. I have 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:21.600 one video of me doing it, which I cherish, but 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:27.479 that's a separate issue. Nevertheless, I see I actually think 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:32.680 that an ideal. An ideal is really where one does 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:37.680 become the primary breadwinner and one does the primary housework. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.840 That's the ideal. It can always work. I fully acknowledge 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:43.600 that usually it's the man. But as I said to you, 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:49.240 and we're all just giving our own experiences and opinions here, 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.320 I would rather be full time homemaker than a fifty 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.160 to fifty person where I took if I took care, 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.760 if I could marry, if I did marry somebody who 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:03.080 may you know, millions of dollars. I'm not going to say, 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:06.159 you know, give up the job and so that we 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:12.440 can both work fine. And believe me, see, I happen 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:16.560 to think that it is an underrated form of work, homemaking, 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:20.840 and that's underrated a in its value. We should do 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:24.720 that a separate time. Why I not, but not only 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:29.720 is it underrated in its value, that somehow going to 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:35.600 an office is on a higher social level for some 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.119 reason than taking care of a home. I don't understand 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:42.159 that for the life of me. But I'll go even further, 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:48.040 even in sheer enjoyment of life. The fact is that 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:51.480 in many cases you have time to read. Certainly as 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:54.199 the kids get older, you have time to read. You 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:57.800 have time to listen to talk radio. You know how 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.560 many of my half of My listeners are female, and 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.400 a lot of you are at home, and I am 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:07.679 your intellectual company because you're a three year old just 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.119 can't discuss the meaning of life quite as well as 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:14.720 I can. And so I am in your life and 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.440 you have this time. Your husband probably doesn't have this time. 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:22.920 So there's a lot to commend itself. I could live 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.000 that life. I believe I could live that life, but 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:29.480 I could not live. And I'm being only open. I 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.240 may be dead wrong, and that's fine, but there's not 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:36.520 right or wrong here. I'm just offering the problems of 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:40.280 fifty to fifty where you work it out. God bless you. 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.399 But I think in most cases it has led to 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.760 much more attention than joy. Back in a moment on 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.000 the Male Female Hour. This is Dennis Prager. 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.359 This episode of timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:02.520 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.879 All right, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.040 and the fifty to fifty question is the subject on 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.720 the Male Female Hour? Does fifty to fifty work? I 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.240 did the dishes yesterday, you do them today. Of course, 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.840 there are fifty fifties that can work. See, I really 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:21.040 need to be fair to myself. I do believe in 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:27.280 dividing duties where one is predominantly in charge of the 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:30.399 home and one is predominantly in charge outside of the home. 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:33.000 I do believe in that. In other words, I believe 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:35.960 in fifty to fifty in the sense that you both 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:38.640 have to make the house and family work. Of course 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:41.879 I believe that. But the fifty to fifty that I 0:20:42.040 --> 0:20:45.639 find problematic is different. It's where we do the same 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:50.159 things fifty to fifty, not the different things fifty to fifty. 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.320 And let me say on behalf of guys out there, 0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:59.800 because I find myself often in the position of explaining men, 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:04.760 because guys are often very self conscious or even afraid 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:09.120 to talk about their nature to their wives. Which is 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:16.080 a very very real problem and another subject for another time. 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:21.920 But guys need to feel that they are appreciated for 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:30.800 something that is uniquely theirs. It theoretically could be you know, 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:34.040 you know, painting the house. That doesn't matter what it is, 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:38.080 but that is our And now women or at least 0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:41.280 feminists not women, will dismiss that as of the fragile 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:48.399 male ego. You know, I'll tell you why that disturbs me, 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:52.080 not because I'm a man. It disturbs me because of 0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:55.200 the lack of self awareness on the part of any 0:21:55.240 --> 0:22:00.640 female who says that because she doesn't have uote unquote 0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:09.359 fragile areas, only men have fragile quote unquote areas. The 0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:18.800 ideas is just absurd, and it is Society works out 0:22:18.920 --> 0:22:24.520 best where men feel that they have had their maleness 0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:30.639 expressed and where women have had their femaleness expressed. But 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:34.119 in a society that makes war against the notion of 0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:39.080 masculinity and femininity, there's nothing to express. There's just humanity 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:42.400 to express. There are no more men and women, there 0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:45.280 are just humans. In fact, there aren't even humans. There 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:51.000 are just living beings earth citizens. Alrighty, let's go to 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:54.640 some more of our calls here and your calls actually 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:59.160 back to Texas and Grapevine and Wendy. Hi, Wendy, Dennis Praeger, Hi, 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:01.959 Dennis doing well. Thank you, Wendy. 0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:03.560 That's an honor to speak to you. 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:04.160 Thank you. 0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:08.520 The reason I was calling is because you know, I've 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.480 tried to do this fifty to fifty thing for We've 0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:14.399 be married for seven years and I finally decided to 0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:18.240 stop working and stay with the baby and my husband's working. 0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:20.639 And I'm very grateful for that opportunity because a lot 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:24.280 of moms don't get to do that. And I guess 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.920 where I struggle with is this whole I guess I'm 0:23:27.920 --> 0:23:29.760 still viewing it as fifty to fifty in some ways. 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:32.600 But he gets to leave work at five o'clock, he's done, 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:37.000 and he comes home, plops his button couch, watches TV, 0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:41.040 you know, whatever whatever he does. And I'm still working 0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:43.520 till eleven o'clock at night, you know, putting the kids 0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:47.720 to bed, doing everything. And it's not until I you know, 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:49.000 I feel like I'm nagging. 0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:51.240 What has he done from five to eleven? 0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:58.160 Pretty much just his own thing? I mean, watches sitcoms, computers. 0:23:57.600 --> 0:23:57.959 That's it. 0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:02.720 And I've I find myself, hey, feeling guilty because Okay, 0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:05.280 I'm the home. I'm the home you know, careas Yeah. 0:24:05.080 --> 0:24:07.600 But it wasn't like you were off from nine to five. 0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:11.159 You are a on vacation from nine to five yourself, 0:24:11.600 --> 0:24:12.840 right exactly. 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:17.280 So I mean I think that you're right though my father, 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:18.520 I talked to him all the time and he goes, 0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:20.960 you know, I need to be because you love him 0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:24.960 you want to cook and clean because you love him, because. 0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:27.840 You know yeah, but well you know this is a 0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:30.400 very hard for me because the last thing I want 0:24:30.440 --> 0:24:34.680 to do is add any any difficulty in your situation. 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:38.440 I want you to for things to work out, but 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:44.159 I just I just need to say to men here, 0:24:45.680 --> 0:24:49.399 if you spend from five pm till bedtime just doing 0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:54.879 your own thing, it strikes me as to say the 0:24:54.960 --> 0:25:02.560