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Speaker 1: Life audio.

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Speaker 2: Find inspiration as close as your phone. Download the Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling app and get started today for free. Look for

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Speaker 2: the Jesus Calling app in both the Apple and Google

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Speaker 2: Play stores.

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Speaker 3: I just remember before she became addicted, she was a

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Speaker 3: lot of fun. She had a lot of friends. We

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Speaker 3: did a lot of fun things together. She was a

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Speaker 3: wonderful mom. And I remember when she became addicted, and

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Speaker 3: as that addiction grew, she was very absent, not present.

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Speaker 3: But I just remember mostly she was angry, and I

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Speaker 3: just was always nervous.

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Speaker 4: And I didn't know how to navigate it.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. Joining us this week

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Speaker 2: is worship leader turned viral comedian Heatherland. After growing up

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Speaker 2: in the shadow of her mother's decades long addiction, Heather

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Speaker 2: reflects on how this painful season, alongside her unexpected shift

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Speaker 2: from the worship stage to the world of comedy, taught

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Speaker 2: her that while our paths may take unforeseen turns, our

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Speaker 2: core calling to encourage and uplift others remains constant. Later

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Speaker 2: in the episode, we'll hear from Rachel Kessler, an episcopal

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Speaker 2: priest in Kenyan College chaplain who completed her PhD in

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Speaker 2: medieval studies at the University of Toronto before pivoting to

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Speaker 2: seminary after hitting academic burnout. Then built a following as

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Speaker 2: the nerdy priest on TikTok after a student secretly downloaded

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Speaker 2: the app on her phone.

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Speaker 4: My name is Heather Land.

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Speaker 3: I am a worship leader turned comedian and travel the

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Speaker 3: United States and do comedy shows. I grew up in

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Speaker 3: West Tennessee, in a small town, and when I was

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Speaker 3: growing up, I always dreamed of being a worship leader

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Speaker 3: and I did that for almost twenty years and thought

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Speaker 3: I would be doing that for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 3: But here we are in the world of comedy. When

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Speaker 3: I was in middle school, my mother became heavily addicted

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Speaker 3: to prescription drugs and remained that way for many decades.

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Speaker 3: She went to her doctor when I was in middle school.

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Speaker 3: I think she took me in actually for a physical,

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Speaker 3: if I'm not mistaken, and happened to tell our family

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Speaker 3: doctor that we were going on.

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Speaker 4: A vacation the next day.

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Speaker 3: I think we were going to Gatlinburg, and he said, oh,

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Speaker 3: you're going to be writing a lot of roller coasters,

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Speaker 3: and she said, no, not me. I have a lot

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Speaker 3: of anxiety, and he said, oh, I can help you

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Speaker 3: with that, and I believe he prescribed her Xanax and

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Speaker 3: she took it as prescribed for quite a while, maybe

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Speaker 3: a year or two, until she didn't. It was challenging

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Speaker 3: growing up in addiction. I think, you know, when you're young,

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Speaker 3: you don't necessarily know what's going on. You hear your

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Speaker 3: family talking about it, or you know it in theory,

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Speaker 3: but you don't know how to piece it together. I mean,

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Speaker 3: your brain's not even fully developed. So I think it

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Speaker 3: was a process of understanding what I was living in.

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Speaker 4: I just remember.

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Speaker 3: Before she became addicted, she was a lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: She had a lot of friends. We did a lot

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Speaker 3: of fun things together. She was a wonderful mom. And

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Speaker 3: I remember when she became addicted, and as that addiction grew,

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Speaker 3: it was like walking on eggshells at home. I just

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Speaker 3: remember she was very absent, not present, and actually physically

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Speaker 3: absent from a few things, a few major events in

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Speaker 3: my life. But I just remember mostly she was angry,

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Speaker 3: and I just was always nervous, I think is a

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Speaker 3: good word, always nervous, and didn't quite understand the world

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Speaker 3: I was living in, but definitely knew that I did

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Speaker 3: not like it, and it was extremely uncomfortable and I

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Speaker 3: didn't know how to navigate it. It's so hard to

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Speaker 3: know how to deal with addiction, especially when it's a parent.

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Speaker 3: And I think the dynamic in our family became, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm an only child, so I became sort of my

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Speaker 3: dad's confidant. And you know, it was me and him

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Speaker 3: right in the trenches, and we were going through this

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Speaker 3: thing that nobody fully knew about, and it was me

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Speaker 3: and him to the end. So my role with my

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Speaker 3: mom just became really weird. I felt this need to

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Speaker 3: fix it. I became the one who would sit my

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Speaker 3: parents down and have drug talks with my mother, make

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Speaker 3: my dad be quiet and listen, and you know.

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Speaker 4: It was just very backwards.

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Speaker 3: I did feel like the mom in the situation, and

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Speaker 3: I lost a lot of respect for my mom because

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Speaker 3: of that, just as much as the addiction. And you know,

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Speaker 3: she went to many many rehabs and came out. You know,

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Speaker 3: she would stay clean for a month or two or

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Speaker 3: a year or two, and it was always different, but

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Speaker 3: inevitably would go back. Finally she was in rehab. This

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Speaker 3: was in twenty twenty. She had been in rehab for

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Speaker 3: almost a year, and she was going to be getting

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Speaker 3: out right before my wedding to my husband. And I

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Speaker 3: was in a lot of therapy at this time and

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Speaker 3: was really dreading my mom being at my wedding because

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Speaker 3: not just out of fear of you know, is she

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Speaker 3: gonna embarrass me or is she going to try to

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Speaker 3: get medicine from somebody, But it was also you know,

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Speaker 3: is she going to take away from my day?

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Speaker 4: Am I going to be focused on her?

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Speaker 3: Is she going to make me feel guilty if I

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Speaker 3: don't include her to the level that maybe a quote

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Speaker 3: unquote normal mother, you know, or mother daughter relationship would

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Speaker 3: be at this wedding. So there was a lot of

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Speaker 3: fear and a lot of anxiety on my part, and so,

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Speaker 3: along with my husband and my therapist, I decided to

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Speaker 3: not invite my mom to my wedding. And it was

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Speaker 3: a really hard decision. It's not a decision that any

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Speaker 3: kid wants to make, and I really felt like it

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Speaker 3: was important to really honor my wedding day. And I

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Speaker 3: had focused for so many decades on my mom and

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Speaker 3: my dad and just trying to be the best kind

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Speaker 3: of daughter I could be and be a helper and

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Speaker 3: not rock the boat and all the things, and so

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Speaker 3: I did. I made the hard decision to not invite

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Speaker 3: my mom to my wedding, and in turn, my dad

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Speaker 3: chose not to come to my wedding because he was

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Speaker 3: a writer, died for my mom, and it was the

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Speaker 3: two of them, I guess in it together and he

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Speaker 3: just felt sorry for and so he chose not to come.

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Speaker 3: So neither one of my parents were at my wedding.

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Speaker 3: And while it was not a choice that I wanted

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Speaker 3: to make or something I ever wanted to face, I

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Speaker 3: can look back and say my wedding day was beautiful

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Speaker 3: and peaceful and exactly what it needed to be. But

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Speaker 3: that was a really hard decision and that would lead

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Speaker 3: to me not talking to my mom or having a

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Speaker 3: relationship with her for four years. I didn't have a

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Speaker 3: relationship with my dad for three years. You know, when

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Speaker 3: you're in a codependency is just alive and well, and

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Speaker 3: I think it makes the best of people act extremely

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Speaker 3: erratic and say things they don't mean. And that was

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Speaker 3: definitely the case in my relationship with my dad, and

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Speaker 3: so we didn't talk for about three years and it

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Speaker 3: was very hurtful. But my mom, I think Finally, after

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Speaker 3: about four years, we saw each other at a Christmas

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Speaker 3: event that I was very much dreading, but I felt

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Speaker 3: like I was supposed to extend an olive branch and

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Speaker 3: made my parents a cake.

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Speaker 4: It was very simple, but I made them a cake.

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Speaker 3: And this opened the door for conversation, and my mom

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Speaker 3: asked me, what do you need from me? And I

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Speaker 3: remember saying this, I need you to ask me what

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Speaker 3: I need because I've always lived my life around what

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Speaker 3: you need, and I need you to be a mom.

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Speaker 3: And that day She's never been the same in the

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Speaker 3: greatest way. She's been a wonderful mom. She's just a

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Speaker 3: wonderful friend to me now and she texts me. We

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Speaker 3: talk on the phone frequently, but she will text me

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Speaker 3: on the anniversary of her sobriety date every year and

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Speaker 3: say thank you for cutting me off. It's what got

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Speaker 3: me clean every year, and I think she'll tell you. You know,

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Speaker 3: that was a brutal time for our family, but I

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Speaker 3: think it paved the way for sobriety. And again I'm

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Speaker 3: certainly not patting myself on the back. I had no

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Speaker 3: idea what I was doing or how to do it.

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Speaker 3: That was just our journey and my mom chose sobriety.

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Speaker 3: And I asked her one time, what keeps you sober

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Speaker 3: this time? And she, without hesitation, said, this time, I

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Speaker 3: finally decided to stop living in shame.

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Speaker 4: That shame always drove.

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Speaker 3: Me back to drugs because I couldn't handle what I

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Speaker 3: had done and what I had put my family through.

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Speaker 3: And I finally decided to stop living in shame. And

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Speaker 3: I was not a good mom, but I can't take

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Speaker 3: that back now, and I'm going to be one from

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Speaker 3: here on out. And yeah, so a beautiful redemption story there,

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Speaker 3: and a great relationship.

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Speaker 4: That I have with my mom. Now.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to be a worship bleader. I did that

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Speaker 3: for a long time. A lot of people don't know

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Speaker 3: that I've lost my voice. A lot of hormonal, perimenopausal

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Speaker 3: great stuff in there that's made me lose my voice.

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Speaker 3: But you know, it was never about the worship. It's

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Speaker 3: never about the music. And I always thought, oh, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to be known for my music. It was never

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Speaker 3: about that. It was about encouraging people. I talk about

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Speaker 3: this a lot from the stage in a joke setting,

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Speaker 3: but you know, I went through a divorce twelve years

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Speaker 3: ago and I was married for fourteen years to the

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Speaker 3: father of my kids, and I just remember thinking, I've

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Speaker 3: got two kids and they need me to be stable

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Speaker 3: and solid for them. Stepping into that season took a

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Speaker 3: lot of faith. I had to really look fear in

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Speaker 3: the eyes and move through it. I had no idea

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Speaker 3: what was coming. I did not have a job, I

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Speaker 3: did not have a dime to my name. I haven't

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Speaker 3: really openly talked about this. I went through a little

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Speaker 3: season where my faith was I really questioned my face.

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Speaker 4: I had a lot of doubt.

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Speaker 3: I think I was undoing some messed up theology that

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Speaker 3: I needed to deconstruct.

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Speaker 4: This was no surprise to God, and.

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Speaker 3: I'm really glad that I went through that because I

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Speaker 3: was able to experience a little bit of life when

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Speaker 3: I wasn't connected, and it's made the need to be

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Speaker 3: connected daily even stronger. And it really did show me

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Speaker 3: just how necessary it was for me to be grounded

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Speaker 3: and believe in something. And Jesus Calling has always been

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Speaker 3: It's been a huge part of my world since my

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Speaker 3: kids were little. And I think I read it to them,

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Speaker 3: you know, as an encouragement to them, But the truth

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Speaker 3: is it was an encouragement to me as well, and

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Speaker 3: it always has been. You know, when you've had a

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Speaker 3: certain life for fourteen years or however long, and you

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Speaker 3: aren't banking on living the rest of it by yourself,

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Speaker 3: or you're walking into the unknown, it is very scary

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Speaker 3: and having to redefine yourself and check the single box

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Speaker 3: on your taxes from now, I mean that is that's

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Speaker 3: that's new, and that's so it's so frightening. And I

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Speaker 3: remember feeling like, who am I?

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Speaker 4: Who am I?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 4: What am I?

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Speaker 3: And that was a question that was there for a

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Speaker 3: long time. Until my life just went on and continued,

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Speaker 3: and I continued walking through doors that got opened for me.

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Speaker 3: I was able to go, oh, okay, my life is

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Speaker 3: not over. When I was back in my hometown after

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Speaker 3: my divorce, I was not leading worship at this time.

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Speaker 4: I was working for a friend of mine. And during

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Speaker 4: this time when I was working, my son.

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Speaker 3: Showed me Snapchat and I got on Snapchat with a

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Speaker 3: couple of my girlfriends. It Snapchat was very new to

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Speaker 3: the scene, and there were, as you know, all of

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Speaker 3: these horrendous filters and funny filters, and so we found

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Speaker 3: this ugly filter and we would make videos for each

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Speaker 3: other back and forth, and we did this for months

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Speaker 3: and months just between the three of us, and one

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Speaker 3: day one of my girlfriend said, oh, please post this

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Speaker 3: on social media. It is so funny. And I said,

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Speaker 3: absolutely not. I don't want to be single forever and

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Speaker 3: this will surely create a single environment for me. And

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Speaker 3: so I did not post anything for a while, and

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Speaker 3: then on some dare I can't even remember what it was,

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Speaker 3: but on a dare, because I was, you know, obviously

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Speaker 3: a mature woman in my forties, I took a dare

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Speaker 3: and I posted my first video on my personal Facebook

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Speaker 3: page and people started watching it and they said, oh,

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Speaker 3: what are you going to call this video? I ain't

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Speaker 3: doing it and I thought, well, I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: call it anything. Why are they asking me this? And

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Speaker 3: my girlfriend said, well, you said I ain't doing it

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Speaker 3: in your video and I said, well, I didn't even.

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Speaker 4: Know I said that.

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Speaker 3: But people asked could I make more? And I was like, sure,

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Speaker 3: I can make a few more. And so I started

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Speaker 3: making these videos. On my lunch break. I would just

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Speaker 3: go sit out in my car or at the school

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Speaker 3: drop offline or a pickup line. And a blogger named

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Speaker 3: Susannah Lewis reached out to me and said, somebody sent

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Speaker 3: me your video. Can I post it? And at this

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Speaker 3: point I was like, sure, do what ever you want.

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Speaker 3: And so she said, well, you need to start a

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Speaker 3: fan page and I said one hundred I ain't doing it,

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Speaker 3: absolutely not.

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Speaker 4: I refuse.

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Speaker 3: And you know, she had a lot of followers, and

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Speaker 3: she said, I promise you're going to want to do this.

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Speaker 3: So on a Wednesday morning in September twenty seventeen, I

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Speaker 3: went to work. I started a fan page Heatherland I

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Speaker 3: ain't doing it the same as it is today, and

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Speaker 3: I posted some videos and I went to church that

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Speaker 3: night because we still go to church in my hometown

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Speaker 3: on Wednesday nights. And there were seven hundred and fifty

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Speaker 3: followers on my page, and when I got out of church,

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Speaker 3: there were one hundred and fifty thousand, and that started

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Speaker 3: the ball rolling and it was nuts. A month to

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Speaker 3: the day that I started this page, it hit a

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Speaker 3: million followers. I stepped into comedy, something I would have

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Speaker 3: never imagined. Having to lay down leading worship was really

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Speaker 3: difficult for me, and picking up the comedy microphone was

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Speaker 3: actually at first embarrassing for me. I went through a

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Speaker 3: lot of emotions about it, and I think part of

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Speaker 3: that was fear insecurity, not feeling good enough. I realized

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Speaker 3: that it was never really about the worship. I feel

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Speaker 3: like the Lord said, hey, I'm not surprised by your

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Speaker 3: loss of your voice. That was never the point. The

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Speaker 3: point was for you to be able to encourage people.

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Speaker 3: So that's the similarity in leading worship and doing comedy.

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Speaker 3: It's all about encouraging people. One encourages people on Sundays

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Speaker 3: or in a conference environments or wherever worship is led.

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Speaker 3: The other one, I notice, is about opening people's hearts

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Speaker 3: up to then receive encouragement. But it has been such

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Speaker 3: a blessing for me, so I think it just takes time,

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Speaker 3: the evolution of things progressing and new jobs coming and

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Speaker 3: new opportunities coming, and it takes faith that I didn't

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Speaker 3: always have. But God is so gracious during those times.

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Speaker 3: I find that even when we doubt him, and even

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Speaker 3: when we're like, ah, yeah, I don't know about this,

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Speaker 3: the Lord is still like, we'll just hang on.

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Speaker 4: I've got something up, musclee.

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Speaker 3: And I just think that's such a beautiful story of

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Speaker 3: who God is and how faithful he.

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Speaker 2: Is to keep up with Heatherland. Visit her on Instagram

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Speaker 2: at Heatherland underscore I Ain't doing It. Stay tuned to

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Speaker 2: Rachel Kessler's story after a brief Message. With more than

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Speaker 2: fifty million copies sold, the original classic edition of Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling is your daily guide to living a more peaceful life.

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Speaker 2: Experience a deeper relationship with Jesus as you savor the

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Speaker 2: presence of the one who understands you perfectly and loves

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Speaker 2: you forever. With scripture and personal reflections, Jesus Calling is

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Speaker 2: your year long guide to living a more peaceful life.

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Speaker 2: Its price and size also make it the perfect gift

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Speaker 2: for anyone who needs encouragement. Find Jesus Calling wherever you

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Speaker 2: buy books. Our next guest is Rachel Kessler, an episcopal

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Speaker 2: priest who lives by a phrase from one of her

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Speaker 2: favorite writers, Tell the Truth, which has been the backbone

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Speaker 2: of her highly popular posts as the Nerdy Priest on TikTok.

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Speaker 5: I am the Reverend Rachel Kessler. I am an episcopal

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Speaker 5: priest and I wear several different hats in my vocation.

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Speaker 5: I am the Rector of Harcourt Parish Episcopal Church in Gambia, Ohio,

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Speaker 5: which is the episcopal community on the campus of Kenyon College,

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Speaker 5: which is also my undergraduate alma mater. I am a

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Speaker 5: campus chaplain and co director of Religious Life at Kenyon.

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Speaker 5: I also teach part time in the English department, and

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Speaker 5: in my free time, I make content online as the

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Speaker 5: Nerdy Priest. One of my friends from graduate school was

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Speaker 5: feeling spiritually drawn back to church wanted to check out

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Speaker 5: a church down the street from her, which which was

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Speaker 5: an Anglican church. She and I started going to that

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Speaker 5: church together and I ultimately started getting drawn more and

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Speaker 5: more into the life of that church. And as I

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Speaker 5: was feeling more and more burnt out in my graduate work,

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Speaker 5: sort of compensating by getting more and more involved in

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Speaker 5: the life of the church.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things that I think happened is.

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Speaker 5: As I came to determine, Okay, this tradition, this expression

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Speaker 5: of faith is where I feel at home. I think

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Speaker 5: there is a vocation to more here, and that sense

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Speaker 5: that I had always had of wanting to be a

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Speaker 5: teacher really shifted from academia to pastoral ministry and preaching.

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Speaker 5: Once I accepted I think this is actually the path

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Speaker 5: that I.

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Speaker 1: Meant to be on.

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Speaker 5: It felt like kind of a release to some degree,

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Speaker 5: that is how I found myself in the pulpit as

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Speaker 5: were from academia to the pulpit. What got me through

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Speaker 5: the harder seasons of faith I think going into having

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Speaker 5: the experience in college of many people who were Christian

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Speaker 5: in a very very different way than I was Christian.

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Speaker 5: I think there's often this idea of the earnest Christian

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Speaker 5: student going off to the liberal academy and having their

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Speaker 5: faith destroyed. What I found was not atheists who were

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Speaker 5: challenging my faith, but other Christians who were challenging my

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Speaker 5: faith and what it meant to be a Christian. And

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Speaker 5: I think that raised a lot of questions for me

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Speaker 5: and what I had been brought up to think that

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Speaker 5: Christianity had to look like. And when I left college

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Speaker 5: and I moved to Toronto, there was again this sense

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Speaker 5: of I showed up to church because that was what

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Speaker 5: I knew how to do. I had been so formed

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Speaker 5: in just you go to church. What got me through

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Speaker 5: that sort of more fallow, more spiritually dis stince time

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Speaker 5: was kind of just the habit. There is something to

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Speaker 5: be said for the habits of faith when we're not

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Speaker 5: necessarily feeling that deep connection to God for just still

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Speaker 5: showing up. And that's not to say that our faith

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Speaker 5: should be stale, and some people, certainly, as a college chaplain,

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Speaker 5: I know people who need to step away from the

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Speaker 5: church or faith for a time, and I think God

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Speaker 5: certainly honors that.

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Speaker 1: For me, it was there was something about the.

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Speaker 5: Just habit of continuing to show up that I think

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Speaker 5: kept me from walking away Entirely. I did not build

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Speaker 5: the Nerdy Priest platform with any kind of intentionality behind it.

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Speaker 5: My TikTok platform was created for me a student who

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Speaker 5: stole my phone and downloaded TikTok on my phone because

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Speaker 5: they really wanted me to be on TikTok. Then, about

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Speaker 5: a year into the COVID pandemic, I, like many people,

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Speaker 5: was feeling super burnt out vocationally and needing something to

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Speaker 5: be an outlet in ministry, and I just started randomly

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Speaker 5: making content on TikTok. I was talking about actually the

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Speaker 5: struggles that I'd had in faith, specifically around things like

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Speaker 5: fear of the rapture, fear of salvation in my evangelical background,

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Speaker 5: realizing that those really resonated with people. My online platform

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Speaker 5: really is just an authentic representation of who I am.

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Speaker 5: I think you get burnt out in ministry when you

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Speaker 5: are focusing on the ends as opposed to the means.

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Speaker 5: And what's been an incredible gift online are really amazing

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Speaker 5: friendships and relationships I have built with people that I

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Speaker 5: would never have connected with outside of the digital space.

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Speaker 5: And in terms of prayer, life and ministry and being grounded.

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Speaker 5: One of the things that I think about a lot

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Speaker 5: is Rachel held Heavens, the late writer blogger was known

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Speaker 5: for keeping a post it note on her computer.

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Speaker 1: I believe that said tell the truth.

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Speaker 5: And I really I like that because it is so

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Speaker 5: easy to get caught up in writing a good sermon

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Speaker 5: or making a good post that goes viral and getting

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Speaker 5: the engagement.

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Speaker 1: What so critical is staying grounded in the truth.

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Speaker 5: I can remember going to the Episcopal Church for the

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Speaker 5: first time in that chapel and just thinking, Oh, this

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Speaker 5: all feels right. I love this expression of faith. I

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Speaker 5: love the ritual of the liturgy. I love the physical

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Speaker 5: appearance of the space, I love the art. What I

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Speaker 5: had to process is also having in the back of

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Speaker 5: my head what the faith of my upbringing was always

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Speaker 5: telling me is like, Okay, those things are distractions those

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Speaker 5: are distractions from a real relationship with Christ. That's human institution,

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Speaker 5: that's not pure belief in Jesus. And I think what

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Speaker 5: I came to realize is that there aren't rules on

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Speaker 5: how we are meant to relate to Jesus through ritual,

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Speaker 5: through the traditions of the church. Those are the ways

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Speaker 5: that I communicate with Jesus, which brings us back to

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Speaker 5: the idea of connecting through daily prayer, connecting through a

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Speaker 5: devotional like Jesus Calling right, I'm reading from Jesus Calling

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Speaker 5: June sixth. Seek my face and you will find fulfillment

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Speaker 5: of your deepest longings. My world is filled with beautiful things.

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Speaker 5: They are meant to be pointers to me, reminders of

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Speaker 5: my abiding presence. The earth still declares my glory to

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Speaker 5: those who have eyes to see and ears that hear.

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Speaker 5: You had a darkened mind before you sought me wholeheartedly.

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Speaker 5: I chose to pour my light into you so that

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Speaker 5: you can be a beacon to others. There is no

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Speaker 5: room for pride in this position. Your part is to

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Speaker 5: reflect my glory. I am the Lord.

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Speaker 2: To learn more about Rachel Kessler, visit Nerdypriest dot com

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Speaker 2: if you'd like to hear more stories about doubt leading

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Speaker 2: to deeper faith. Check out our interview with Cole Arthur Iley.

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Speaker 2: Next time on the Jesus Calling podcast, we're sitting down

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Speaker 2: with Corey and Kobe Cotton, the founders behind the global

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Speaker 2: phenomenon Dude Perfect. They'll take us back to the early

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Speaker 2: uncertain days of the business, sharing the pivotal moment they

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Speaker 2: had to decide whether they should walk away from their

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Speaker 2: steady jobs to pursue an unproven dream.

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Speaker 6: I remember we talked about I think, I think we

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Speaker 6: could each make like eight thousand dollars this year if

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Speaker 6: we quit our jobs and do do Perfect.

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Speaker 1: But we genuinely felt like if we didn't.

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Speaker 6: Try it, how would we ever know if it could

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Speaker 6: be something that God had for us. And so we

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Speaker 6: prayed about it, and we fondly remember now how in

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Speaker 6: those first couple of months it felt like God was

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Speaker 6: providing in some really cool way.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith

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Speaker 2: podcast on the Live Audio Network. Every week, we'll bring

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Speaker 2: you stories from people who share their journeys of faith

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Speaker 2: and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives.

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Speaker 2: Be sure to follow us on Apple Spotify, iHeart, or

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Speaker 2: wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us a review

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Speaker 2: so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally,

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Speaker 2: you can find encouragement resources and more on the Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling website at Jesus Calling dot com