1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,620 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,930 Speaker 2: So many women base their success on this number, but 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,470 Speaker 2: it's about so much more than that, right? It is 4 00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,430 Speaker 2: about feeling better. It is about getting closer to Jesus 5 00:00:16,489 --> 00:00:19,660 Speaker 2: and that there is a completely different metric and measurement 6 00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 2: of that, which is how you feel in your body 7 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,980 Speaker 2: and your mind, your mental health, your physical health, your 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,140 Speaker 2: spiritual health. Welcome to Love Life Sober. I'm your host 9 00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 2: and your coach, Christy Osborne. This podcast is for the 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,100 Speaker 2: woman who loves Jesus or is longing to reconnect with 11 00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 2: him and who knows deep down that alcohol is no 12 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 2: longer serving her. Here we talk honestly with grace and 13 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,620 Speaker 2: truth about how stepping away from alcohol opens the door 14 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 2: to the love, joy, peace, and connection you've been searching for. 15 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:51,620 Speaker 2: Because babe, those things were never meant to be found 16 00:00:51,659 --> 00:00:55,780 Speaker 2: in a bottle of wine. They're found in Jesus. Through scripture, coaching, 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,610 Speaker 2: and neuroscience, I'll help you make sense of your habits, 18 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,940 Speaker 2: your nervous system, and what you're really craving so that 19 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 2: freedom feels not only possible, but sustainable. You don't have 20 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:11,339 Speaker 2: to do this alone, babe. Let's dive in. Today, I 21 00:01:11,390 --> 00:01:13,710 Speaker 2: want to talk about one of the questions I get 22 00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:16,950 Speaker 2: asked all the time, especially from women who are starting 23 00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:20,750 Speaker 2: a 40-day fast. What if I fail? What if I 24 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,570 Speaker 2: sign up for the fast and I don't make it 25 00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 2: the 40 days? What if I've tried this before and 26 00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it? What if I get to day 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,420 Speaker 2: 5 or 10 or 20 and I have a drink? 28 00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,910 Speaker 2: Does that mean I failed? Does that mean I have 29 00:01:32,950 --> 00:01:35,270 Speaker 2: to go all the way back to the beginning? Does 30 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,949 Speaker 2: it mean all of the progress I made somehow doesn't count? 31 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:41,010 Speaker 2: Maybe you're feeling that today, that you won't be able 32 00:01:41,050 --> 00:01:44,110 Speaker 2: to do it. But my beautiful friend, success is about 33 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,660 Speaker 2: so much more than accumulating alcohol-free days. And that's exactly 34 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,460 Speaker 2: what we're talking about on today's episode. We talk about 35 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:54,630 Speaker 2: why counting days can be helpful until it isn't. We 36 00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:57,420 Speaker 2: talk about the difference between simply being alcohol-free and actually 37 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,780 Speaker 2: being free from alcohol. We talk about why I encourage 38 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:04,260 Speaker 2: women to set a feeling-based goal instead of making the 39 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:07,540 Speaker 2: day count a measure of success. And yes, we talk 40 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 2: about what happens if you have a drink when you 41 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 2: intended not to. Because at Growth Point, my beautiful friend 42 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 2: does not erase everything that you've learned. You don't have 43 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,510 Speaker 2: to go back to the starting line. You get to 44 00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:20,350 Speaker 2: get curious and ask yourself, what did this teach me? 45 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,900 Speaker 2: What do I know now that I didn't know before? 46 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,820 Speaker 2: And what is God trying to teach me in this process? 47 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 2: Because the goal doesn't have to be perfection. Maybe the 48 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,580 Speaker 2: goal is endurance, to get back up, to draw closer 49 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,780 Speaker 2: to Jesus, to become more peaceful, more joyful, more present, 50 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:40,590 Speaker 2: and ultimately more free. If you've ever thought, I'm scared 51 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:44,170 Speaker 2: to start this because I failed before, or what if 52 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,870 Speaker 2: I don't make it the full 40 days? this episode 53 00:02:47,010 --> 00:02:50,350 Speaker 2: is especially for you. And we are launching this episode 54 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,270 Speaker 2: on the week that we are kicking off our October 55 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:57,910 Speaker 2: 40-day fast. Coaching starts Monday, October 5th, and we will 56 00:02:57,950 --> 00:03:01,130 Speaker 2: close registration Friday, the 9th of October. So if you're 57 00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:03,510 Speaker 2: still thinking about joining us and you're listening to this 58 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: the first week of October, there's still time to join 59 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,579 Speaker 2: us and you can find all of the information in 60 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,860 Speaker 2: the show notes. Okay, my beautiful, beautiful friend, Here is 61 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 2: this week's episode. Welcome back to the podcast. So this 62 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:23,190 Speaker 2: is my very beautiful, very close friend, Lauren, who is 63 00:03:23,510 --> 00:03:27,790 Speaker 2: a old client turned really close friend. And one of 64 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:30,650 Speaker 2: the things that I keep hearing about the podcast is 65 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 2: more teaching on some of the frequently asked questions. So 66 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,900 Speaker 2: Lauren is one of the best journalists in the whole 67 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:41,410 Speaker 2: wide world. And so I said, will you please do 68 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,910 Speaker 2: me a favor and have these conversations with me. So 69 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:47,790 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to. I'm so glad that we get 70 00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:50,210 Speaker 2: to do this. This is going to be hopefully a 71 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: regular thing we do now on the podcast is we 72 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,860 Speaker 2: have these interviews about frequently asked questions. And so today 73 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 2: I would love to talk about because this is one 74 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 2: of the most frequently asked questions, especially when we have 75 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,090 Speaker 2: gals joining us for a 40 day fast is, oh 76 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:09,730 Speaker 2: my gosh, what if I fail? I'm scared to start. 77 00:04:10,190 --> 00:04:14,980 Speaker 2: because I've failed before. And what if I fail again? 78 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,060 Speaker 2: What's kind of the point? And so normally I use 79 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,740 Speaker 2: kind of the first coaching call, if you're joining us 80 00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 2: for a 40-day fast, to really speak into this. But 81 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,589 Speaker 2: I wanted to also have this conversation for you gals. 82 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:29,890 Speaker 2: So where should we start, babe? 83 00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:34,969 Speaker 3: Well, I made the decision on August 1st, 2022 to 84 00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:39,370 Speaker 3: take a 30-day break. That's what in my head... I 85 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:41,540 Speaker 3: thought I could do. I knew I needed to take 86 00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:43,339 Speaker 3: a break. I didn't know if I was going to 87 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:48,500 Speaker 3: make it 30 days. I constantly thought during those first 88 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:53,260 Speaker 3: few weeks, like, is this something that I'm capable of doing? 89 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:58,020 Speaker 3: And I think that one, just like acknowledging that the 90 00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 3: fear is real and it's okay to be afraid, right? 91 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 2: Yes, a hundred percent. And I think That is what's 92 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 2: so cool about when you get in contact, whether that's 93 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 2: with friends, in your church, in our community, that you 94 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,260 Speaker 2: see that this is a fear that so many women have. 95 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,460 Speaker 2: And I think that is because they have, quote unquote, 96 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 2: tried before. And like you said, maybe not had the tools, right? 97 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,670 Speaker 2: And that looks different for everyone. But if you've done 98 00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:31,500 Speaker 2: maybe a 30-day fast or any sort of fast before, 99 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 2: or if you're constantly like juggling with these like moderation rules, 100 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,060 Speaker 2: and you feel like you can't get a stretch under 101 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: your belt, it can feel really scary. And it can 102 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,380 Speaker 2: feel like the odds are stacked against you. And this 103 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,580 Speaker 2: is something that you cannot do. The way in which 104 00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:50,100 Speaker 2: that we approach this, when we look at how the 105 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:53,909 Speaker 2: brain works, when we understand the neuroscience, When we start 106 00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:57,310 Speaker 2: to feel better because you can get those first few 107 00:05:57,330 --> 00:06:01,570 Speaker 2: days under your belt, it spurs on, I think, the motivation. 108 00:06:01,589 --> 00:06:03,710 Speaker 2: Is that how you felt like when you were kind 109 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:04,550 Speaker 2: of in the beginning of it? 110 00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:06,550 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. 111 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:11,090 Speaker 3: Like those first few weeks, definitely. I was so proud 112 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:13,190 Speaker 3: of myself at the same time. Like I was I 113 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:16,190 Speaker 3: was proud and I was scared. And those two things 114 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 3: were coexisting. One other thing that I thought about this 115 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,500 Speaker 3: morning in terms of addressing this fear, before I stopped drinking, 116 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 3: I did not move my body. And that is something 117 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 3: that has changed dramatically. I ran this morning over four miles. 118 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,850 Speaker 3: That was unheard of. I could not have run one 119 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:39,630 Speaker 3: mile before August 2022. So in terms of starting a 120 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:43,660 Speaker 3: fast or any type of break, I think it might 121 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,020 Speaker 3: be useful, instead of thinking of it like a marathon, 122 00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 3: think of it as like a couch to 5K. 123 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. 124 00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:52,289 Speaker 1: The 40 days. 125 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:56,190 Speaker 3: Might seem like a really long stretch if you've never 126 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,650 Speaker 3: taken that much time off before, and that's scary. But 127 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 3: don't think of it as like one long distance run. 128 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 3: Think of it as like a training program where you're 129 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,180 Speaker 3: training your body and your mind to work up to 130 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 3: these long distances. Like it's not like I went from, 131 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 3: you know, not being a runner to running four miles. 132 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:19,690 Speaker 1: It takes time. 133 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,050 Speaker 3: And so like if we give ourselves a little bit 134 00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:27,370 Speaker 3: more grace in the beginning and not aim for perfection 135 00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:30,050 Speaker 3: and sort of approach it more like a training program, 136 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:33,090 Speaker 3: That might be a more useful mindset. Maybe it seems 137 00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:36,130 Speaker 3: a little less scary, like a couch to 5K, which you, 138 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,290 Speaker 3: you know, I think those usually last like 8 to 139 00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:42,890 Speaker 3: 12 weeks, you know. They work by taking baby steps. 140 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 2: 100%. 100%. I was actually reading this morning in 2 Timothy, 141 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:49,179 Speaker 2: and there's, I can't remember the address of the verse, 142 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:55,510 Speaker 2: but it talks about those who endure will... reign with God. 143 00:07:55,550 --> 00:07:57,470 Speaker 2: And it's not about like, it's not if you get 144 00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,850 Speaker 2: it right. It's not if you make it perfect, if 145 00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:03,150 Speaker 2: you endure. And I circled the word in my Bible 146 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:06,260 Speaker 2: because we also had this beautiful call yesterday in our 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,500 Speaker 2: True Vine, which was like, is our small group in 148 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,300 Speaker 2: the community. And this was the topic too of getting 149 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 2: rid of alcohol. That is what brought us together. But 150 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: also this is a sanctification journey, right? It's a long stretch. 151 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,559 Speaker 2: And we're talking like our whole lifetime stretch. And so 152 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 2: it looks so different for so many people. And we 153 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,460 Speaker 2: were talking yesterday about how there's gals in that group 154 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 2: who are alcohol free, but then there are gals that 155 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,069 Speaker 2: have been working at it for a bit. You know, 156 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:37,870 Speaker 2: the gals in there kind of run the gambit. But 157 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,990 Speaker 2: what we were focusing on is like all the things 158 00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:46,980 Speaker 2: that God has taught us. like on our journey so far, right? 159 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,460 Speaker 2: And so some of the gals that have been working 160 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,540 Speaker 2: at this for a little bit, they're not fully alcohol free, 161 00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:53,850 Speaker 2: but they were talking about like, oh my gosh, I've 162 00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:57,390 Speaker 2: learned to trust God so much in this process. And 163 00:08:57,410 --> 00:09:00,310 Speaker 2: I've learned to seek him. And I've learned that he 164 00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:03,850 Speaker 2: does show up for me. And I've learned patience. And 165 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:07,390 Speaker 2: I've learned where to find joy. And so if instead 166 00:09:07,429 --> 00:09:11,260 Speaker 2: of like focusing on, for example, making it the 30 167 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 2: days or the 40 days or whatever your goal is, 168 00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:17,570 Speaker 2: if you just focus on getting closer to Jesus, and 169 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,730 Speaker 2: we talk about this on usually on our first call, 170 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,610 Speaker 2: like a feeling based goal, like how do you want 171 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:25,810 Speaker 2: to feel and move towards that goal, as opposed to 172 00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:28,740 Speaker 2: an alcohol free date, like number of days or number 173 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:31,030 Speaker 2: that can be so incredibly helpful. 174 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:34,420 Speaker 3: I think, okay, so you brought up this topic of 175 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 3: counting days. And this was like a real hard one 176 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,780 Speaker 3: for me, because I found that counting days was so 177 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,820 Speaker 3: helpful until it wasn't like what is with that like 178 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 3: why do the number of days trip people up it's 179 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,590 Speaker 3: like we're focused on this number and the number doesn't 180 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:54,870 Speaker 3: matter as much as like we're we're giving it why 181 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:58,150 Speaker 3: is it helpful to a degree but not the goal 182 00:09:58,210 --> 00:09:59,809 Speaker 3: like what's success, I guess? 183 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,750 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, and I'd love to hear your answer too. 184 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 2: I think, first of all, I think we're like conditioned, right? 185 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,660 Speaker 2: Everywhere you look in the sober verse, especially if you've 186 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 2: had any interaction with traditional recovery, all of that, like 187 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 2: it is all about counting days. If you are in AA, 188 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,930 Speaker 2: you're getting the chip based on the days. There are 189 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:24,620 Speaker 2: so many apps now that count the number of days. 190 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,140 Speaker 2: And so, so many women base their success on this number. 191 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:33,339 Speaker 2: But it's about so much more than that, right? It 192 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:36,500 Speaker 2: is about feeling better. It is about getting closer to Jesus. 193 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:39,740 Speaker 2: And that there is a completely different metric and measurement 194 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:42,939 Speaker 2: of that, which is how you feel in your body 195 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 2: and your mind, your mental health, your physical health, your 196 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,750 Speaker 2: spiritual health. And the great thing about that metric on 197 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:51,030 Speaker 2: how you feel or how your relationship is with your 198 00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:56,870 Speaker 2: family or Jesus is that can feel better even if 199 00:10:57,370 --> 00:11:01,090 Speaker 2: you're having a drink and you're just drinking less, right? 200 00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:05,060 Speaker 2: Whereas if you're going for a number and let's say 201 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,020 Speaker 2: you have a streak of three or four days and 202 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 2: you have a drink on day five, then it's an 203 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 2: automatic fail because you haven't met the goal of the 204 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,300 Speaker 2: number of days. But you might feel so much better 205 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,140 Speaker 2: You might have learned so much more because of those 206 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:22,839 Speaker 2: previous three days. So it's a more holistic approach, I think. 207 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:26,140 Speaker 2: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. 208 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,990 Speaker 3: I will say off the bat during this first episode 209 00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:32,850 Speaker 3: that I have not been perfectly sober over the past 210 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,630 Speaker 3: four years. I think there have been four times when 211 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:39,850 Speaker 3: I've had a drink. To me, getting to day 100 212 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:43,540 Speaker 3: felt really significant. But I don't think it was because 213 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:46,099 Speaker 3: I hit the number 100. I think it was just 214 00:11:46,179 --> 00:11:50,079 Speaker 3: because my body needed basically three months to start really 215 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 3: feeling better. But after that, that number, it became like 216 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,739 Speaker 3: another source of anxiety. It's like the alcohol before I 217 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,900 Speaker 3: stopped was the source of anxiety. And then this number 218 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,550 Speaker 3: became the source of anxiety. And so I couldn't have 219 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,220 Speaker 3: put words to this at the beginning of this journey 220 00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:13,860 Speaker 3: four years ago. But success for me is like a 221 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:19,260 Speaker 3: quiet mind and space and time to think about other 222 00:12:19,309 --> 00:12:23,790 Speaker 3: things that have nothing to do with alcohol and space 223 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,490 Speaker 3: and time to pray and to talk to God and 224 00:12:25,510 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 3: hear his voice and that. That's what success looks like 225 00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 3: for me. So I have no clue how many days 226 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,420 Speaker 3: I've been alcohol free. I don't have an app on 227 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:38,350 Speaker 3: my phone anymore. It's a tricky one because, you know, 228 00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:40,110 Speaker 3: you and I were texting about this the other day. 229 00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:41,730 Speaker 1: It's sort of like a number on a scale. 230 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 3: Let's say you're on like a health transformation journey and 231 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 3: you can get really, really caught up in that number 232 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:55,130 Speaker 3: on the scale and sort of be ignoring everything else, right? Yeah. 233 00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:57,090 Speaker 2: Or like one of the track, like the, you know, 234 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,050 Speaker 2: the Apple Watch. I had to stop wearing my Apple 235 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:03,150 Speaker 2: Watch years ago because I could not focus. So I 236 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,359 Speaker 2: was obsessed with then hitting all the metrics, all the steps, 237 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,199 Speaker 2: all the things. I've had a really interesting conversation on 238 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:13,500 Speaker 2: the podcast before about when like the day count or 239 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 2: when sobriety becomes your idol versus alcohol. Right. And so 240 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:20,599 Speaker 2: it's where is your attention? Where is your focus? I 241 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,199 Speaker 2: also find that when like the day count is your 242 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 2: focus and you're holding that so, so tight, it adds 243 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 2: to the fear and the anxiety. And this is like 244 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,470 Speaker 2: a journey. You know how much I hate that word, 245 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:38,449 Speaker 2: but this is a journey of feeling better. It's an invitation. 246 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:42,949 Speaker 2: It's an opportunity to so many different things. And so 247 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:46,510 Speaker 2: to take kind of the fear, anxiety about it out 248 00:13:46,590 --> 00:13:49,890 Speaker 2: of it, holding it a little bit lighter, asking God 249 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:53,610 Speaker 2: to walk with you, learning all the things that you 250 00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 2: can learn about yourself, the way that your brain works, 251 00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:01,620 Speaker 2: what fills you up, how do you need rest? How 252 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 2: do you need connection? Like these are all the opportunities 253 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 2: that come from this journey. And when we're so focused 254 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:11,939 Speaker 2: on the day count or failing, I think it almost, 255 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 2: you miss those opportunities. 256 00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:17,750 Speaker 3: And it's also, it can be like an empty victory. 257 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:21,510 Speaker 3: Like I can remember looking at the app and being like, oh, 258 00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:23,970 Speaker 3: I can't wait to get today to 200. That's going 259 00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:26,940 Speaker 3: to be such an amazing feeling. And then that would happen. 260 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,860 Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, well, what am I working toward now? 261 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 3: Day 300 or, you know, day 365 or, you know, 262 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,910 Speaker 3: it just, it's not, it's not enough. That number is 263 00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:40,510 Speaker 3: not enough. And at the very beginning of The days 264 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:44,690 Speaker 3: are useful, I think, because it's a very clear way 265 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:49,610 Speaker 3: and a simple way of measuring progress. It is harder 266 00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:53,430 Speaker 3: to ask ourselves what success really looks like. 267 00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:54,110 Speaker 2: Yeah. 268 00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:58,850 Speaker 3: It requires, for me, it required prayer and like a 269 00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:02,990 Speaker 3: lot of journaling. And, you know, that question Jesus asked 270 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:06,430 Speaker 3: people over and over, what do you want? That's way 271 00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:09,390 Speaker 3: harder than saying, I want to get to 200 days, 272 00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:12,730 Speaker 3: you know? So maybe that's why we sort of like 273 00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:16,780 Speaker 3: focus on it at the beginning, because it doesn't require 274 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 3: a lot of deep thought to like say like, oh, 275 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 3: my only goal here is to like get to a 276 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 3: full year, right? 277 00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:27,140 Speaker 2: Yeah. And you bring up a really interesting point on 278 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,070 Speaker 2: the day count too, because I don't necessarily, like there 279 00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:34,550 Speaker 2: are people that have, that I have spoken to with, 280 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 2: years of sobriety under their belt and all they're doing 281 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,460 Speaker 2: is trying to not drink. All they're doing is trying 282 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:46,250 Speaker 2: to resist alcohol. And that to me is not freedom. 283 00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:50,330 Speaker 2: And there is a difference, I think, than being free 284 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,990 Speaker 2: from alcohol. And this is the other reason I think too, 285 00:15:53,050 --> 00:15:56,670 Speaker 2: that like holding a day count up as the ultimate 286 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,650 Speaker 2: goal is that God's going to give you something else 287 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:01,940 Speaker 2: after you're done. And you and I both know that, right? 288 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:05,610 Speaker 2: Because we're always talking about like what we're struggling with now. 289 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,989 Speaker 2: And it's not alcohol anymore, but it's all these other 290 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,230 Speaker 2: things that God's like, you need to look at this 291 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,970 Speaker 2: situation now. And like, I want to renew your mind 292 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:16,030 Speaker 2: in this area, right? And so I think if you 293 00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:18,370 Speaker 2: look at it again, I keep using the word holistic, 294 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:22,430 Speaker 2: but like as a sanctification journey, this is one small 295 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:27,900 Speaker 2: step like on your journey towards becoming more like Jesus, right? 296 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 2: And Cindy, who's in our community and on our leadership team, 297 00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 2: if you guys are in Truevine, you know Cindy well. 298 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,850 Speaker 2: She has said that like that was the one of 299 00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:40,730 Speaker 2: the things that unlocked this kind of journey for her 300 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:46,380 Speaker 2: is that realization that it's not you ditch alcohol and 301 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,780 Speaker 2: then you get to work. This is part of the 302 00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,980 Speaker 2: work of the greater work, if that makes sense. 303 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,550 Speaker 3: Totally. I think that that's really good. I've often thought 304 00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:59,050 Speaker 3: over the past few years that it wasn't actually the 305 00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 3: harder work didn't have anything to do with alcohol. And, 306 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 3: you know, this whole conversation, it's not to say that 307 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,270 Speaker 3: like downloading the app and counting days isn't useful. 308 00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: I think it is. 309 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,270 Speaker 3: It can be useful, but it can't be. It just 310 00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,830 Speaker 3: can't be the end all and be all of the 311 00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:15,270 Speaker 3: whole thing. 312 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 2: My app in the beginning, which I also don't have anymore, 313 00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:22,909 Speaker 2: but it tracked hours saved and also money saved. And 314 00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:25,810 Speaker 2: so that was the reason I found it fun checking. 315 00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:28,810 Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I've saved this many thousands of pounds 316 00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:31,370 Speaker 2: at this point and this many hours of my day. Like, 317 00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:34,260 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, what was I doing before? Yeah. And 318 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,920 Speaker 2: this is the thing too, is we always say, right? 319 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,580 Speaker 2: It's like, if it's helpful for you, keep it. If 320 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 2: it's not helpful for you, you don't have to. And 321 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,360 Speaker 2: you never have to start the counter over again. 322 00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:46,129 Speaker 1: You could just delete the app. 323 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:50,930 Speaker 2: You can delete the app, but you can also start counting. Like, 324 00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:53,650 Speaker 2: you know, I believe you did, right? It's like, you're 325 00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:57,620 Speaker 2: not starting over. You're not running the marathon and going 326 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 2: back to the starting line because you fell over. I mean, 327 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,420 Speaker 2: how many times have you heard me say that? Yeah. 328 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I consider that I started this journey just over 329 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,070 Speaker 3: four years ago. And I, you know, have learned something 330 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,350 Speaker 3: every time I've had an alcoholic drink since then, which 331 00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:15,010 Speaker 3: hasn't been many, but, you know, it's happened. I still 332 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,649 Speaker 3: consider myself free. You know, my mind is free. I 333 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,810 Speaker 3: don't think about this stuff anymore, which is sort of interesting, 334 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:22,970 Speaker 3: makes it interesting to talk about it to you now, 335 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:26,590 Speaker 3: because it really has been such a stunning transformation of 336 00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:29,990 Speaker 3: my body and my mind. But it may be helpful 337 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 3: for people to define success. That definition may change over time, 338 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 3: you know, but if you're starting a fast or starting 339 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:43,470 Speaker 3: some sort of break to define it differently than, only 340 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,260 Speaker 3: a number of a certain number of days. 341 00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:48,220 Speaker 2: Yeah. And so I would just love to talk for 342 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,140 Speaker 2: a second then about like, I mentioned setting the feeling 343 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 2: based goal. And so this is something that we love 344 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,580 Speaker 2: to do on one of the very first fast coaching 345 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 2: calls is normally I ask, what is your goal? in 346 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 2: coming into this 40 day fast. And I asked the 347 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,340 Speaker 2: gals to put it in the chat, right? And everyone 348 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 2: goes to the chat. And normally, the answers are make 349 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:14,219 Speaker 2: it 40 days or quit alcohol, or I never want 350 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,270 Speaker 2: to drink again. Right? It's all about alcohol. It's all 351 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:20,670 Speaker 2: about like, again, like hitting the day count, right? And 352 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:22,709 Speaker 2: then I asked the question, how does that make you 353 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,410 Speaker 2: feel and without fail, and I've coached this fast so 354 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:28,659 Speaker 2: many times now. So I know what's going to happen, right? It's, 355 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:33,129 Speaker 2: this goal brings up fear. This goal brings up anxiety. 356 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:36,669 Speaker 2: This goal brings up so many other things that are 357 00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:40,030 Speaker 2: not positive emotion. They are negative emotion, which doesn't help 358 00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:44,130 Speaker 2: propel you forward on any sort of self-improvement journey. And 359 00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:47,710 Speaker 2: then I say, let's rejig the goal, you guys. Like, 360 00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:49,889 Speaker 2: let us rejig the goal. Like, how do you want 361 00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:52,980 Speaker 2: to feel at the end of these 40 days? And 362 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,910 Speaker 2: that's when we get to do this beautiful, like, exploration 363 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:57,929 Speaker 2: of the gals in the community. And it's normally, I 364 00:19:57,970 --> 00:20:00,330 Speaker 2: want more peace. I want more joy. It's normally a 365 00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:04,410 Speaker 2: fruit of the spirit that we've been getting, you know, 366 00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:07,850 Speaker 2: seeking an alcohol that will never, ever fill us up 367 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:10,170 Speaker 2: in that way. And then I say, okay, so you 368 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,950 Speaker 2: want to feel more peace at the end of this journey. 369 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,060 Speaker 2: How does that make you feel, right? And it's always 370 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,940 Speaker 2: a lighter answer than the goal of making it the 371 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 2: 40 days. It's normally excited, you know, and it's normally hopeful. 372 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 2: And I think that is such an important point is 373 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 2: that we have to start to keep hope at the 374 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,420 Speaker 2: center always, because if we don't believe that this is 375 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,210 Speaker 2: something that we can do and It's going to make 376 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:40,050 Speaker 2: it harder on ourselves automatically because of the way that 377 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,570 Speaker 2: our brain works. Because if we're constantly rehearsing, I can't, 378 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,530 Speaker 2: I can't, I can't, I can't, then you're going to 379 00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:50,300 Speaker 2: believe that you can't. But if you shift that and 380 00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,450 Speaker 2: my goal is to have more peace at the end 381 00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:54,060 Speaker 2: of this, and I know that I can do that 382 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:58,459 Speaker 2: even by drinking less, then that changes the whole entire 383 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,260 Speaker 2: mental picture of doing a fast. We'll be back right 384 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,980 Speaker 2: after a quick word from our sponsors. just going to 385 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:07,679 Speaker 2: pause us for one second to remind you that the 386 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 2: October Love Life Sober 40-Day Fast is right around the corner. 387 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 2: We officially kick off on October 5th. And if you've 388 00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:18,210 Speaker 2: been listening to this podcast for a while or reading 389 00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,730 Speaker 2: your copy of Love Life Sober and watching from the 390 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:23,510 Speaker 2: sidelines and thinking, I know I need to do something, 391 00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:26,010 Speaker 2: but I have no idea where to start. That is 392 00:21:26,109 --> 00:21:30,870 Speaker 2: exactly why I created this coached 40-Day Fast. I'm not 393 00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:33,870 Speaker 2: asking you to decide on forever. I'm just asking you 394 00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:37,270 Speaker 2: to give yourself 40 days. 40 days to get really 395 00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:40,230 Speaker 2: curious about the role alcohol is playing in your life. 396 00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:43,170 Speaker 2: 40 days to experience what it feels like to wake 397 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:46,690 Speaker 2: up without regret or anxiety about the night before. 40 398 00:21:46,690 --> 00:21:49,869 Speaker 2: days to notice your sleep, your energy, your relationships, your thoughts, 399 00:21:49,970 --> 00:21:53,100 Speaker 2: and maybe even your relationship with God when alcohol is 400 00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:56,500 Speaker 2: no longer taking up so much space. And you are 401 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,740 Speaker 2: absolutely not doing this alone. We'll be walking together through 402 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,460 Speaker 2: my bestselling book, Love Life Sober, day by day, and 403 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 2: you'll have access to four live coaching calls every single 404 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,869 Speaker 2: week with me and my incredible team of coaches, Reena, Maureen, 405 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:12,950 Speaker 2: and Susan. And if you can't make those coaching calls live, 406 00:22:12,970 --> 00:22:14,970 Speaker 2: we're going to record them for you and pop them 407 00:22:15,130 --> 00:22:18,790 Speaker 2: in your private community space. You'll have access to that 408 00:22:18,830 --> 00:22:22,640 Speaker 2: completely private space inside the Love Life Sober community filled 409 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 2: with other women, doing these 40 days right alongside you 410 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 2: women who get it women you can be completely honest 411 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:32,020 Speaker 2: with women who are going to celebrate the wins with 412 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 2: you and remind you why you started on the harder 413 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:38,659 Speaker 2: days and the community piece of this is so important 414 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,540 Speaker 2: because so many of us have tried to do this 415 00:22:40,619 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 2: quietly and by ourselves you don't have to do that 416 00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:46,700 Speaker 2: anymore 40 days is long enough to experience real change 417 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 2: but short enough to feel possible if there is even 418 00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 2: a tiny voice inside you saying maybe this is my 419 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 2: time maybe you should listen to her. The Love Life 420 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 2: Sober 40-Day Alcohol Fast begins October 5th, and I would 421 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,220 Speaker 2: absolutely love to meet you and walk these 40 days 422 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,330 Speaker 2: with you. Head to the link in the show notes 423 00:23:04,369 --> 00:23:06,469 Speaker 2: to get all the details. I cannot wait to see 424 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,750 Speaker 2: what God is going to do in these 40 days. Okay, 425 00:23:08,810 --> 00:23:10,470 Speaker 2: let's get back to today's conversation. 426 00:23:10,710 --> 00:23:15,090 Speaker 3: Would you say that people who drink during the 40-day fast, 427 00:23:15,290 --> 00:23:17,659 Speaker 3: even if they did not intend to do that when 428 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 3: they started, can still succeed at the fast? 429 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,550 Speaker 2: I don't think you can fail. I don't, I do 430 00:23:22,590 --> 00:23:25,340 Speaker 2: not think that you can fail. I mean, look at you, right? 431 00:23:25,390 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 2: You've had some alcohol along the way, but I would 432 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:32,379 Speaker 2: consider you a major success story. I would, me too. Yes. 433 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: And women that have come into one of these fasts, 434 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 2: normally they stick around too, right? Because they find the 435 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 2: community and they realize they're not alone and all those 436 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 2: wonderful things that end up happening. But you learn so 437 00:23:44,530 --> 00:23:47,010 Speaker 2: much about yourself and you realize you have so much 438 00:23:47,210 --> 00:23:51,060 Speaker 2: more to learn and Even if you just make a friend, 439 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,500 Speaker 2: it's success, right? Or even if you realize that you, 440 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,580 Speaker 2: you know, maybe you got to seven or 10 days 441 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 2: alcohol free and you realized how much it affects your sleep. 442 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 2: Isn't that a win? You didn't have that data and 443 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,460 Speaker 2: that information before. There's so much data. There's so much information. 444 00:24:06,869 --> 00:24:09,930 Speaker 3: You have coached, like you said, hundreds of women through 445 00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:14,230 Speaker 3: these fasts. Name something that women that they share in 446 00:24:14,290 --> 00:24:17,970 Speaker 3: common who have had a drink during this period. 447 00:24:18,530 --> 00:24:21,410 Speaker 1: What helps keep them on track? Like, let's say we have. 448 00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 3: A woman who's listening to this podcast and she just 449 00:24:23,859 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 3: had a drink in the middle of a 40-day fast 450 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 3: and she's feeling really discouraged of herself. Like, what do 451 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 3: women who ultimately succeed do at this point? Because that's 452 00:24:31,900 --> 00:24:34,580 Speaker 3: kind of a low, scary point, right? Yeah. 453 00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 2: I think the answer to that is that they keep going, right? 454 00:24:37,530 --> 00:24:41,830 Speaker 2: They endure. And I also think it's all of every 455 00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:45,650 Speaker 2: single woman has such a unique testimony that And that 456 00:24:45,690 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 2: testimony is going to end up helping someone in their 457 00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 2: life because it's going to be relatable. And people with 458 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:57,860 Speaker 2: perfect streaks are not relatable. People that struggle are relatable. 459 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 2: And therefore you get to be the light of Jesus 460 00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:03,950 Speaker 2: in that moment, right? Like we're all human. It doesn't 461 00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:08,290 Speaker 2: matter how you get there, right? It is just enduring. 462 00:25:08,650 --> 00:25:12,129 Speaker 2: It's keeping on keeping on. Yeah. 463 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 3: And like to go back to that, couch to 5k 464 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:21,930 Speaker 3: it's not running every day it's sometimes walking it's sometimes 465 00:25:21,970 --> 00:25:24,950 Speaker 3: not doing anything you know you're learning a new skill 466 00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:29,310 Speaker 3: and different people do that at different paces for sure yeah. 467 00:25:29,170 --> 00:25:30,649 Speaker 2: And I mean this is the other thing too is 468 00:25:30,690 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 2: that it's very different to take a growth point so 469 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,300 Speaker 2: having a drink when you intended not to it's very 470 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 2: different to take a growth point and learn from it 471 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 2: and take the growth point and not learn from it. 472 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 2: And that is where the neuroscience helps. And that is 473 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,209 Speaker 2: how getting really curious about alcohol truly affects your brain 474 00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:55,090 Speaker 2: and your body helps because I have seen over and 475 00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:57,980 Speaker 2: over and over again, that a growth point in the 476 00:25:58,020 --> 00:26:01,020 Speaker 2: middle of a fast or multiple ends up being the 477 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,230 Speaker 2: key to unlocking the desire, right? Like I never want 478 00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:06,730 Speaker 2: to do that again because I don't want to feel 479 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:09,170 Speaker 2: like that. This is how it really makes me feel. 480 00:26:09,430 --> 00:26:12,360 Speaker 3: You remember how during my first growth point, I took 481 00:26:12,650 --> 00:26:13,899 Speaker 3: notes on my notes app on my phone? 482 00:26:14,390 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Sometimes tell clients to do that, but I don't 483 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,100 Speaker 2: think anyone's ever listened to me. Except for you. Or 484 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,290 Speaker 2: maybe they have and haven't shared it. 485 00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:28,050 Speaker 3: I found that really helpful. So maybe that's another tip. 486 00:26:28,150 --> 00:26:30,530 Speaker 3: Like if you've had a growth point, pull up the 487 00:26:30,570 --> 00:26:31,050 Speaker 3: notes app. 488 00:26:31,510 --> 00:26:34,090 Speaker 2: I always say that to gals. I'm like, let's like, 489 00:26:34,170 --> 00:26:37,130 Speaker 2: don't forget how you feel right in this morning after 490 00:26:37,170 --> 00:26:39,669 Speaker 2: the growth point, right? It's not, it's not fun. And 491 00:26:39,690 --> 00:26:42,189 Speaker 2: that's not to bring up shame or any sort of condemnation. 492 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:44,689 Speaker 2: It's just to like, remind yourself how it really feels. 493 00:26:45,230 --> 00:26:48,990 Speaker 2: Because at five o'clock, when the wine, which or whatever 494 00:26:49,030 --> 00:26:52,410 Speaker 2: you want to call her is calling, it's hard to 495 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:56,859 Speaker 2: remember how you feel after having a drink. Right. And 496 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,310 Speaker 2: it's again, it comes back to that curiosity. It comes 497 00:26:59,350 --> 00:27:02,230 Speaker 2: back to truth. Like what is actually true here? How 498 00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:03,710 Speaker 2: do you actually feel when you drink? 499 00:27:03,890 --> 00:27:04,130 Speaker 3: Right. 500 00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:06,490 Speaker 2: Great for the first 20 minutes. Awful the rest of 501 00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:08,590 Speaker 2: the time the next morning for seven to 10 days 502 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:11,120 Speaker 2: after that. Is it worth it? You get to decide that. 503 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:15,139 Speaker 3: Another reframe that might be useful for people who are 504 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 3: in a fast or about to start a fast is 505 00:27:17,859 --> 00:27:21,700 Speaker 3: that maybe we shift it away from like, what do 506 00:27:21,780 --> 00:27:22,369 Speaker 3: we want? 507 00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:26,210 Speaker 1: And ask, like, what would God consider successful? 508 00:27:26,369 --> 00:27:27,490 Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. 509 00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 3: He just really wants us to draw closer to him, 510 00:27:30,580 --> 00:27:33,560 Speaker 3: I think. And that has nothing to do with how 511 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,179 Speaker 3: many drinks you have over that 40-day fast. Right. One 512 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,380 Speaker 3: of the things, we do this thing in church every 513 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,710 Speaker 3: Sunday where it's like a prayer of confession and there's 514 00:27:42,750 --> 00:27:44,909 Speaker 3: a silent part and there's a part that we all 515 00:27:44,950 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 3: do together and... I always ask forgiveness because I'm a 516 00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:51,620 Speaker 3: very self-centered person. Maybe we all naturally are. Maybe like 517 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,770 Speaker 3: shifting the mindset away from like a self-centered sort of 518 00:27:55,850 --> 00:27:59,290 Speaker 3: goal to like a Jesus-based goal might be helpful. 519 00:28:00,109 --> 00:28:04,630 Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%, 100%. Because like, as we were talking about, 520 00:28:04,670 --> 00:28:07,470 Speaker 2: like the metric on that, right, is like, it can 521 00:28:07,510 --> 00:28:10,250 Speaker 2: be directly related to how much you're drinking. But also 522 00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:14,679 Speaker 2: if we're talking about defining success, getting up, And choosing 523 00:28:14,980 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 2: to draw near and trust and rely on him, like 524 00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:25,940 Speaker 2: sometimes the growth points propel you towards that. 525 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 3: Have you ever heard the analogy of like when a 526 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:32,980 Speaker 3: parent is watching their toddler take their first steps and 527 00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:36,429 Speaker 3: like the toddler falls down and you don't scream at 528 00:28:36,470 --> 00:28:39,410 Speaker 3: them and say, oh my gosh, what a failure. Like 529 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:43,060 Speaker 3: you don't know how to walk at all. Like you 530 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 3: cheer them on and you have a huge smile on 531 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,209 Speaker 3: your face. That I think is God's posture towards us. 532 00:28:49,870 --> 00:28:50,750 Speaker 2: A hundred percent. 533 00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:53,570 Speaker 1: To do something hard, he is excited. 534 00:28:53,590 --> 00:28:57,630 Speaker 2: Especially if the goal is to get closer to him, right? 535 00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,540 Speaker 2: Or to be obedient to him. Because in a lot 536 00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:03,380 Speaker 2: of these cases, it's like, you know, gals are like, 537 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,180 Speaker 2: I know he's asking me to put this down, right? 538 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,300 Speaker 2: He's not been mad at you if you don't get 539 00:29:08,340 --> 00:29:11,420 Speaker 2: it right. Like on the first go around, second go around, 540 00:29:11,830 --> 00:29:15,980 Speaker 2: or 10th go around, because I promise you, because I've 541 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 2: seen it with my eyeballs, he is teaching you so 542 00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:24,260 Speaker 2: many other things. Mary DeMuth, who is my literary agent, 543 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,700 Speaker 2: who was on the podcast recently, was talking about, you know, 544 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,530 Speaker 2: sometimes we're like, okay, God, we're supposed to be focusing 545 00:29:30,850 --> 00:29:34,210 Speaker 2: right now on this one thing, whatever it is, like, God, 546 00:29:34,270 --> 00:29:36,830 Speaker 2: make me more like patient or make me more this 547 00:29:36,910 --> 00:29:38,350 Speaker 2: or make me more that this is the thing we're 548 00:29:38,370 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 2: supposed to be working on. What in reality, he's like, well, 549 00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 2: I really want to work with you actually on being 550 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:49,210 Speaker 2: kinder or being compassionate or being still or all of 551 00:29:49,270 --> 00:29:52,690 Speaker 2: these other things. And so I also think that when 552 00:29:52,730 --> 00:29:55,810 Speaker 2: you're so focused on a day count or failing at 553 00:29:55,830 --> 00:29:59,130 Speaker 2: a fast or Again, you close yourself off to all 554 00:29:59,170 --> 00:30:01,470 Speaker 2: these other things that God potentially. 555 00:30:01,110 --> 00:30:04,070 Speaker 1: Has for you. I hope this has been encouraging for people. 556 00:30:04,790 --> 00:30:08,330 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I think so. Thank you so 557 00:30:08,370 --> 00:30:10,570 Speaker 2: much for this chat, my friend. 558 00:30:11,050 --> 00:30:12,190 Speaker 1: Of course, I loved it. 559 00:30:12,830 --> 00:30:16,290 Speaker 2: I loved it too. And so, gals, we love you. 560 00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:19,910 Speaker 2: We are praying for you. And we are so glad 561 00:30:19,950 --> 00:30:22,810 Speaker 2: that you have listened today. If you want to hang 562 00:30:22,850 --> 00:30:26,870 Speaker 2: out with us, come join the community, join an upcoming fast. 563 00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 2: They're kind of always going on and we hope to 564 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,060 Speaker 2: see you soon. Thank you for spending this time with 565 00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:36,500 Speaker 2: me on Love Live Sober. If today's conversation stirred something 566 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,140 Speaker 2: in your heart, don't rush past it. Take it to prayer. 567 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 2: If you're feeling ready for deeper connection and support, I'd 568 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 2: love to invite you into the Love Live Sober community, 569 00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:50,430 Speaker 2: a grace-filled, shame-free space where real connection grows and lasting 570 00:30:50,510 --> 00:30:53,010 Speaker 2: change takes root. You can find the link to join 571 00:30:53,070 --> 00:30:56,770 Speaker 2: us in the show notes. Love Life Sober is part 572 00:30:56,810 --> 00:31:00,770 Speaker 2: of the Life Audio Podcast Network, where faith-centered podcasts help 573 00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:03,190 Speaker 2: you grow deeper in your walk with Christ. You can 574 00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:08,170 Speaker 2: find more faith-centered podcasts at lifeaudio.com. Until next time, be 575 00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:12,580 Speaker 2: gentle with yourself, stay curious, and trust God's promises. He 576 00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:13,780 Speaker 2: has freedom waiting for you.