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Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of

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Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had

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Speaker 1: to purchase Dennisprager's Rational Bibles go to Dennisprager dot com.

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Speaker 2: The question was, can I offer any suggestions on coping?

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Speaker 2: Remember we had a list of tensions that life is

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Speaker 2: filled with? Can I offer suggestions on coping with the

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Speaker 2: tension between work and family? One immediate and perhaps most

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Speaker 2: important that comes to mind in a specific recommendation is

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Speaker 2: that there have to be regular.

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Speaker 3: Set times that family slash spouse.

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Speaker 2: Or better family and or spouse, because sometimes it has

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Speaker 2: to be spouse without family. Oh I wish I had

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Speaker 2: a video camera. Oh God, the way this woman looked

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Speaker 2: at her husband at that moment. She practically pulled most

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Speaker 2: of his left side here hair out of his head,

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Speaker 2: and he's recording it. No less, there has to be

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Speaker 2: set times. I think that women more instinctively know this,

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Speaker 2: which is why it was his hair that was pulled

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Speaker 2: out of hers.

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Speaker 3: For family and four spouse and for both.

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Speaker 2: As I say, I have learned this and it has

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Speaker 2: been very helpful, whether it be you just if you're

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Speaker 2: a busy man, at the office. Why can't there be

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Speaker 2: lunchtimes with If it's possible to arrange lunchtime with your

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Speaker 2: wife or a wife busy lunchtime with your husband. If

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Speaker 2: the only time you see your spouse is in the

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Speaker 2: family context and then you just fall asleep, it's not

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Speaker 2: going to be very helpful for developing or a relationship

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Speaker 2: with your spouse, and certainly not for any romance. You know,

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Speaker 2: dating has so many advantages over marriage in terms of romance.

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Speaker 2: It's planned, right, you know, you'll go out and nobody.

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Speaker 2: Very few people date five minutes before it's usually you know,

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Speaker 2: what are you doing Saturday night? Okay, so you have

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Speaker 2: all week to prepare for Saturday night in mood, in

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Speaker 2: relaxation and getting the work out of the way, in

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Speaker 2: how you look, in everything, so that that person is

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Speaker 2: the overwhelming object of your attentions. You should try to

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Speaker 2: date a little. I think when you're married, okay, continue

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Speaker 2: dating as it were, having some of those special times together,

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Speaker 2: times with them, times that could be with the family.

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Speaker 2: If I know this in most I can only speak

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Speaker 2: for men better than for women, much better. Most men

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Speaker 2: do not naturally think of the priority of wife and

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Speaker 2: family in terms of time, they say, and with utter sincerity.

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Speaker 3: I love my wife, I love.

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Speaker 2: My kids, but in terms of time you would never

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Speaker 2: know it. So that I would say, is one area

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Speaker 2: of coping. Now you want to know the coping internal mechanism,

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Speaker 2: because this is a course on happiness, after all, You

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Speaker 2: might argue, Okay, let's say he does that, but doesn't

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Speaker 2: he suffer the tension of the decline in his work,

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Speaker 2: which you are nodding very strongly about, because that's really

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Speaker 2: what's the subtext of your question. I understand that it's

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Speaker 2: not a course on a successful marriage. It's a course

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Speaker 2: on happiness. That is why I am such a big

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Speaker 2: believer in making intellectual philosophic decisions about what is important

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Speaker 2: in life. And you have to make that decision if,

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Speaker 2: in fact, work is so overwhelmingly more important. And I

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Speaker 2: don't condemn anyone for whom it is. I think that

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Speaker 2: you have to strongly consider not marrying or strongly consider

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Speaker 2: not having children until such time as you feel you

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Speaker 2: are ready.

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Speaker 3: And a lot of men, by the way, do that.

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Speaker 3: A lot of men want.

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Speaker 2: To work their tail off in their twenties to get

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Speaker 2: somewhere to study. They can't, you know, to finally establish

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Speaker 2: a business, and or at least this is the way

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Speaker 2: they may think, and then finally, at certain age they

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Speaker 2: will be able to devote more time to the family.

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Speaker 2: They don't, that's what they think, and then they don't

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Speaker 2: because then once they're established, you have to stay one

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Speaker 2: step ahead of the competition. Well, then you have to

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Speaker 2: answer to yourself, where are your priorities? That's what tensions

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Speaker 2: are about, figuring out priorities. I gave you the example

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Speaker 2: of I was offered years ago a radio show that

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Speaker 2: would go on Friday nights. It was so obvious to me,

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Speaker 2: for religious reasons, that I would not work on a

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Speaker 2: Friday night that it was the end of the issue.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't tempting, I didn't feel terrible. My priorities were clear.

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Speaker 2: The Sabbath is sacrisanc to me. No amount of money,

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Speaker 2: no prestigious position, will enable me to sacrifice it. Which

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Speaker 2: is why I've always related to the Christian runner in

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Speaker 2: Chariots of Fire.

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Speaker 3: Who ironically just died of aids.

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Speaker 2: I heard the actor himself, but that runner said, gold

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Speaker 2: metal wonderful, but it doesn't compare to the Sabbath. You

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Speaker 2: have to be able to say I want to advance

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Speaker 2: in my career, but not so much that that is it,

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Speaker 2: except for all else. If it is it, you shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be married, or you should be married to someone who

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Speaker 2: is willing to say if indeed there is such a

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Speaker 2: woman on the face of the earth. And I mean

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Speaker 2: with all sincerity, that's fine. This is the most important

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Speaker 2: thing to you. I am absolutely secondary. When you have

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Speaker 2: time from your work, you will see me. I know

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Speaker 2: that as we go into the marriage, she's probably lying

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Speaker 2: through her teeth. She should give her a lie, detect

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Speaker 2: her test. You should take her blood count and see

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Speaker 2: if she is hallucinating. But if she actually is saying that,

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Speaker 2: then all right here and all you've been honest. She's

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Speaker 2: been honest, and so on. By the way, there might

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Speaker 2: be women for whom careers that important is much less

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Speaker 2: less common. And I don't think that that is just the.

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Speaker 3: Social I think it is very much part of what

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Speaker 3: is the makeup.

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Speaker 2: Of the two sexes. But if it is societal, so fine.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't matter to me which argument prevails. What is

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Speaker 2: important is people have to understand what is important. It

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Speaker 2: is a philosophic decision. That's why I'm a big believer

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Speaker 2: on moral issues and an emotional issues like this that

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Speaker 2: at very calm moments, like a Tuesday night in mid February,

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Speaker 2: people sit down and decide what's important to them. You

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Speaker 2: can't decide it all of a sudden, in the middle

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Speaker 2: of seeing your family fall apart.

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Speaker 3: It may be very well too late. You must know

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Speaker 3: at calm moments.

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Speaker 2: When I ask high school kids, would you save your

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Speaker 2: dog or a stranger first if both were drowning, their

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Speaker 2: favorite answer is, well, I don't know, you know, how

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Speaker 2: do you know what you'll do in such a moment.

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Speaker 2: It's a real difficult thing to know. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I love my dog, Okay, I say so. I say

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Speaker 2: you have to decide now while your dog isn't drowning,

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Speaker 2: what are your values? Is your dog, whom you love,

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Speaker 2: more important than the stranger that you don't love. You

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Speaker 2: must decide, when it is calm in life, what is

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Speaker 2: truly important to you, and then live by it. That's

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Speaker 2: why I'm a big believer in the place of the

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Speaker 2: intellect in the arena of happiness. It's not the only

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Speaker 2: thing in happiness, but it's a cool, calm, collected decision.

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Speaker 2: I can tell you this. A rabbi once made a

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Speaker 2: very powerful point. I think on one of my radio shows,

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Speaker 2: he said, when with all the dying men that he

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Speaker 2: has been to visiting in hospitals, he never met one

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Speaker 2: who said on that bed, gee, I wish I spent

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Speaker 2: more time at the office. Okay. It is a very

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Speaker 2: very important point for men to remember, because I know,

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Speaker 2: as well as any man in this room, as well

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Speaker 2: as any man in America, I am very ambitious, I

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Speaker 2: am very devoted to my work, etc.

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Speaker 3: And when I get involved, there is nothing else in

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Speaker 3: the world.

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Speaker 2: I know that I'm writing an article, or I'm on

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Speaker 2: the phone all day or something, and you know, just

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Speaker 2: everything can drift away, the time just flying, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And that is why these are decisions that one has

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Speaker 2: to make intellectually, and then all of a sudden you realize, Okay,

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Speaker 2: su fine, you'll sacrifice, you won't be a partner in

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Speaker 2: the law firm that fast. That is correct, I submit

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Speaker 2: to you. And this was really from last term when

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Speaker 2: I argue that one of the obstacles to happiness is

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Speaker 2: the belief that success makes you happy. If you believe

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Speaker 2: that you have bought, you bought the Brooklyn Bridge, the

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Speaker 2: proverbial bridge, There's a very simple way to prove that,

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Speaker 2: which I elaborated on last term, and that is ask

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Speaker 2: highly successful people if that is what has brought them happiness,

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Speaker 2: and you will find in every instance that I have

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Speaker 2: tried this out, they are If they think it does,

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Speaker 2: then what they're doing is trying to become more successful.

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Speaker 2: They don't stop the acquisitions, don't stop, the bloverage, buyouts,

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Speaker 2: won't stop. They're looking for new companies. Won't stop. They're

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Speaker 2: trying for yet, because once you're a partner in that

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Speaker 2: law firm, what happens. First of all, you still have

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Speaker 2: to go up the list. It's endless. And then let's

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Speaker 2: say you're number one, but there are ten bigger law firms.

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Speaker 2: You've never been successful and successful, my god, look at

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Speaker 2: the people who are getting nominated to the Supreme Court

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Speaker 2: and you're just a partner in a law firm. Look

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Speaker 2: at the ones who are on television and you never

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Speaker 2: got on TV maybe once when they needed to know

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Speaker 2: something about the litigation in your area. It's endless. It's endless, endless, endless.

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Speaker 2: You write books, it's not a bestseller. What's so great?

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Speaker 2: Don't you see? I realized this? Thank God, Thank God.

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Speaker 2: I realized this at a young age. I got published

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Speaker 2: very young, and boy, the thought of being published by

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Speaker 2: Simon and Schuster.

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Speaker 3: It was exciting for a day. Third day what became

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Speaker 3: all was important.

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Speaker 2: Then I started realizing it's quicksand success is clicksand because

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Speaker 2: once it was published by Simon and Schuster. The next

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Speaker 2: thing was, how come they're not advertising our book. It's dying.

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Speaker 2: It's dying at Simon and Schuster. We haven't seen it

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Speaker 2: was just true to this day the book was published.

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Speaker 2: First book was published fifteen years ago. Simon and Schusters

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Speaker 2: never taken out of single ad. Okay, so I could

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Speaker 2: spend my that I never took out an ad. Forget it.

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Speaker 2: It's unbelievable. We're finished, and then it's endless. Then you

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Speaker 2: get we get an advance on the next book, Simon

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Speaker 2: and Schuster in advance. But then we find out another

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Speaker 2: guy got so much more in advance it made us

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Speaker 2: look like nothing's he's in the meantime thinking he's a

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Speaker 2: nothing because he heard what Mitchener got for in advance, and

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Speaker 2: Mitchner gets in advance just by saying, let me look

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Speaker 2: at the globe, uh Caribbean ten million dollars Caribbean sould

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Speaker 2: to Mitchner. That's all he has to do. The rest

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Speaker 2: of us we have to pour over. I submit a book,

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Speaker 2: I'm lucky if it gets ten thousand dollars after I

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Speaker 2: submit the book. Finally, on the third book, they only

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Speaker 2: needed a long outline, which took me half the time

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Speaker 2: it would take to write a book to write that

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Speaker 2: for shrinken outline, I should have written the book in

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Speaker 2: that time. But don't you see it's endless. It's endless.

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Speaker 2: I seem to somebody to be very successful. I could

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Speaker 2: show you twenty areas where there were people twenty times

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Speaker 2: more successful than I. It's endless, endless. When a man realizes,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just addressing if there are women who were

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Speaker 2: caught on this, it's obviously just as true. But it's

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Speaker 2: a man asking. It's usually a man's problem, and it's

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Speaker 2: usually a woman's problem. Married to such a man, I

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Speaker 2: say to you, it's Quicksand because you can become partner

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Speaker 2: in the firm, you can become CEO and what so

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Speaker 2: on that day you'll be happy when you're CEO. Then

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Speaker 2: you'll spend lunches with your wife. Right? Is that? By

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Speaker 2: at least, by the way, if that were true, at

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Speaker 2: least if you even made that that thou honey, as

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Speaker 2: soon as I am a partner daily lunch, okay, at

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Speaker 2: least she knows he becomes a partner. It ends now

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Speaker 2: if you believe that. However, he too should have his

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Speaker 2: blood checked and this and a lie detective, because he's

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Speaker 2: lying through his feet even though he thinks he's sincere.

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Speaker 2: That is the beauty of Hillel's doc doctrine. Hillel, who

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Speaker 2: was asked to summarize everything that he may on Eli meele.

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Speaker 2: If I am not for me, who will be for me?

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Speaker 2: He loves me money? But if I am only for me,

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Speaker 2: then what am I? And then the third part seems

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Speaker 2: to be a nonsequitur. And if not now being loach

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Speaker 2: shave tai, If not now, then when why does that

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Speaker 2: have to do with? If I am not for me,

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Speaker 2: who will be? And if I am only for me,

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Speaker 2: then what am I? That's the whole point. If not now,

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Speaker 2: when if you know it' stop having lunches with your

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Speaker 2: wife now or breakfast or dinners, or if you don't

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Speaker 2: start taking your kids out and having time with it,

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Speaker 2: why are you going to do it when they're thirty,

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Speaker 2: and they don't want to look at your face. Now,

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Speaker 2: that is why that rabbi's comment had an impact. And

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Speaker 2: by the way, these words are addressed as much to

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Speaker 2: me as to any of you. These are tough things

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Speaker 2: to assimilate, but they're critical critical. On the other hand,

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Speaker 2: women remember one thing. It's very important. You don't want

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Speaker 2: a man who isn't ambitious. Most women don't want a

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Speaker 2: man who does not want to be successful in his

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Speaker 2: career because he's not radiating what is a very attractive

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Speaker 2: thing to a woman. A nest fielder, a protector strength,

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Speaker 2: even wants her name. Who's the famous woman television anchor

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Speaker 2: television Barbara Walters? Barbara Walters is about as successful as

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Speaker 2: you can get in her field, right, but she wanted

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Speaker 2: someone richer than her. It is classic. It was classic.

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Speaker 2: They're I got four men in America who fit that bill.

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Speaker 2: She married one of them. She wouldn't give me the

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Speaker 2: time of day. Barbara, very very important that women want

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Speaker 2: that in men, and women remember that too. That's part

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Speaker 2: of what makes your husband lovable is that he is

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Speaker 2: a go get or he is a hustler. You wouldn't

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Speaker 2: want a guy's honey, I love to rump in bed

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Speaker 2: every day with you. The hell with the office. Let's

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Speaker 2: just hug sounds good for a day. Okay, that's important

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Speaker 2: for women to remember that too, Chris. This is a

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Speaker 2: trait that makes men men it wanting to wanting to

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Speaker 2: go out in the outer world and conquer.

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Speaker 3: So that's a classic tensions attention that a woman has.

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Speaker 2: Either visa VI herself or visa her husband as well,

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Speaker 2: knowing how much in each direction. That's why I say

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Speaker 2: life is filled with these tensions. So a very long

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Speaker 2: answer to a very good and short question, take one

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Speaker 2: more before I go on, Yes, with the goal in

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Speaker 2: mind of raising a child to be an adult, because

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Speaker 2: we spoke about that. Remember, you're not raising just a

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Speaker 2: ten year old. You are raising a thirty year old.

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Speaker 2: And as I think I put it to you, remember

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Speaker 2: we are far more adults than children in our lives,

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Speaker 2: and it is very important. Well, it's a good question.

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Speaker 2: What are the specific things. I'd have to work that

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Speaker 2: out and come back with an answer to you, because

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Speaker 2: I don't want to answer off the top of my

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Speaker 2: head only only to give you some quick reflections. Because

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Speaker 2: I'm going to write that down okay, well, for one thing.

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Speaker 2: There are two areas that come to mind immediately. One

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Speaker 2: is emotional stability, giving a child what the child needs emotionally.

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Speaker 2: But which is I think obvious. I'm not saying parents

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Speaker 2: do it well, but at least it's obvious, that's well known.

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Speaker 2: I think the less lot, the less obvious parts are

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Speaker 2: for some tougher and that is teaching, raising the child

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Speaker 2: to become an independent human being, to become self reliant.

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Speaker 2: It's very interesting in the Talmud. I just don't remember

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Speaker 2: all the things it says. If a father is obligated

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Speaker 2: to teach a child the following, and one of them

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Speaker 2: is to swim. I mean, it's really it's funny. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's got Talmud. You know, it's got all the you know,

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Speaker 2: it's got all the religious things, and then to swim.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's part of Jews thinking, because they'll always have

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Speaker 2: to flee up a grum. Unfortunately, I was so thought

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Speaker 2: that that might be an underlying element. But in any event,

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Speaker 2: it is the more you could teach a child to

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Speaker 2: be self reliant. Don't spoil a child, because then there'll

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Speaker 2: be a spoiled adult. That's a very important area. Have

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Speaker 2: a child do things as as a child that ring

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Speaker 2: self esteem. You know, we all speak about inculcating self

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Speaker 2: esteem in children, but you're telling your child you're wonderful,

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Speaker 2: You're wonderful, You're wonderful. As important as that is, doesn't

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Speaker 2: do as much as the child thinking I'm wonderful for

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Speaker 2: doing things that are wonderful. It's a very important, very

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Speaker 2: important part here. Self esteem comes from peers, self esteem

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Speaker 2: comes from self self esteem comes from parents.

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Speaker 3: Self esteem comes from society.

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Speaker 2: So I would develop whatever trait you know how the

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Speaker 2: best answer is is really the most honest answer to you.

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Speaker 2: Whatever you think is important in an adult, try to

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Speaker 2: start developing in your child. That's the good part of

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Speaker 2: being an adult. If you look into yourself. Why is

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Speaker 2: it about me or another adult that I know that

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Speaker 2: I think is important to have as an adult. Am

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Speaker 2: I working in any way to inculcate those things in

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Speaker 2: my child? That is why I mean for me personally,

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Speaker 2: we all have our Maybe idiosyncracies is a good word,

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Speaker 2: bad word, I don't know, but for me I know

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Speaker 2: that it's it's I think it's very important for people

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Speaker 2: not to complain a lot, and it's just it's I

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Speaker 2: like inculcating in children gratitude rather than kvetching, Gee, why

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Speaker 2: don't I have this dress? Why don't I have this thing?

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Speaker 2: Why don't I have this Nintendo? I mean, you know,

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Speaker 2: my son tells me my son has six Nintendo games?

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Speaker 2: Six for gods? Is that a joke? Including the mutant

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Speaker 2: Ninja Turtles? Okay, I just want you to know that.

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Speaker 2: Do you know, Uh, he came home. I think he

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Speaker 2: has a friend and is this right? Who has forty?

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Speaker 2: My son feels deprived. He has six Nintendos and he

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Speaker 2: feels deprived because Yitzkock or whatever his name is, has

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Speaker 2: forty forty. The guys he has a lending library. For

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Speaker 2: God's sake, he could really he could make money, gets

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Speaker 2: hug on just renting out Nintendo games. I don't want

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Speaker 2: my son to complain about that. If you walk around life,

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Speaker 2: it's an early age that I want him to know

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Speaker 2: what an adult can do, because we don't do that

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Speaker 2: with Nintendo's. We do it with cars, We do it

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Speaker 2: with husbands. We do it with wives. Look at this wife,

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Speaker 2: Look at that husband. Look at those kids. Look at

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Speaker 2: the house, look at their vacations, look at their bank book.

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Speaker 2: He does it with Nintendo's that's all. It's the only difference.

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Speaker 2: It's good to start. You got six, be happy with six.

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Speaker 2: That's the key. That's one of the so I really

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Speaker 2: I don't even think I have to come back with

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Speaker 2: an answer except to say to you what you value

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Speaker 2: an adult, inculcate early in children, lovingly, and so on.

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Speaker 2: But still, that is why it's worth knowing. What are

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Speaker 2: the traits that make for a happy adult. That's why

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Speaker 2: this stuff is important. That's why I believe, both when

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Speaker 2: I teach Judaism and when I teach these courses, that

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Speaker 2: it's more important to talk to adults. Very frequently when

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Speaker 2: I go around the country lecturing, people say, oh, if

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Speaker 2: you only could have talked to the kids. Well, let

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Speaker 2: me tell you something. Last week I gave a talk

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Speaker 2: in one of one of the southern states to at

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Speaker 2: a university. I talked to college kids. The next night

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Speaker 2: I talked to adults. The second lecture was more valuable.

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Speaker 2: You can change an adult in a lecture. You can't

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Speaker 2: change a kid in a lecture. Adults are deeper, more mature,

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Speaker 2: more rational. An adult here's a convincing idea, and they say, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's what I should do not kids, generally speaking, an

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Speaker 2: exceptional kid, Mike, I know this. It took a month

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Speaker 2: to touch a kid daily immersion in Judaism, a month

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Speaker 2: when I was director of the Brandeispardin Institute and we

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Speaker 2: had college sessions. On the other hand, I get letters

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Speaker 2: all the time from people who read one article you

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Speaker 2: know what, great arguments for keeping kosher I'm going to start.

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Speaker 2: It would never happen in one lecture to a college kid. Okay,

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Speaker 2: that is why it's important to talk to adults. Adults

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Speaker 2: know what's important. They start inculcating that in the in

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Speaker 2: the kids as early as possible. Ladies and gentlemen. Last

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Speaker 2: week there were in the last two weeks, there have

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Speaker 2: been two themes that I have been working on. One

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Speaker 2: is enjoy Life. The other is which we began near

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Speaker 2: the end of death. I'm going to go back to

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Speaker 2: depth and in depth develop depth. The first I want

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Speaker 2: to give you two very quick recommendations on the enjoy

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Speaker 2: under the enjoy life heading that we have been talking about.

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Speaker 2: Actually it's really they're very much related and maybe not

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Speaker 2: even two separates things. I actually owe this to my

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Speaker 2: mother in law, who I promised to cite in the book.

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Speaker 2: It's a small point, but a very but one that

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Speaker 2: without having read it in a letter that she wrote

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Speaker 2: to my wife and me, I would not have been

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Speaker 2: as aware of. It is critical in life to have

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Speaker 2: something to look forward to. Have it is the only

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Speaker 2: only is too strong, but nearly only, almost insoluble. Depression

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00:24:07,340 --> 00:24:09,260
Speaker 2: could come in life when there was nothing to look

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Speaker 2: forward to, when there is no possible light at the

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Speaker 2: end of the tunnel, except obviously you're on your deathbed.

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Speaker 2: But people make peace with dying. Most people do, most

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Speaker 2: healthy people do. And there you try to look back

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Speaker 2: towards a life of having done things. And I'm going

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Speaker 2: to talk about the deathbed as a source of happiness

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Speaker 2: in life. Oddly enough, I don't mean it makes you happy,

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Speaker 2: but thinking of in those terms having a good effect

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Speaker 2: on you. But having something to look forward to is

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Speaker 2: very important. We can somehow deal with just about anything

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Speaker 2: if we know that there is something to look forward to.

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Speaker 2: I think that that is important that you have that

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Speaker 2: in life. For example, of vacation, it is really possible

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Speaker 2: to endure a lot of months of work if you know, well,

401
00:25:02,540 --> 00:25:06,259
Speaker 2: in July or in January, whatever, it'll be you're going

402
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:09,939
Speaker 2: to go on a vacation. That's why vacations are very important.

403
00:25:10,659 --> 00:25:15,059
Speaker 2: People perceive that, But the funny part is half of

404
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:21,500
Speaker 2: its importance is the anticipation, and true about a lot

405
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Speaker 2: of the fun things of life. Half of the joy

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Speaker 2: is truly the anticipation. You tell your kids you're going

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Speaker 2: to take them to magic Mountain, and they are looking

408
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Speaker 2: forward to magic Mountain, and the looking forward to it

409
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Speaker 2: is just as good, sometimes better than actually being there.

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Speaker 2: So it is something to keep in mind for yourself.

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Speaker 2: To have for yourself, what do you really enjoy to

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Speaker 2: do and look forward to and try to incorporate that

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Speaker 2: into your life. In that regard, related, I also believe

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Speaker 2: in another little thing to get through life's tribulations, and

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00:25:56,899 --> 00:26:01,259
Speaker 2: that is little rewards. They don't have to be big,

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00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:05,260
Speaker 2: but it is good to have rewards, unless you're an ascetic,

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Speaker 2: in which case your reward is your deprivation. But I'm

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Speaker 2: speaking to primarily a Jewish crowd, and a Jewish asthetic

419
00:26:12,859 --> 00:26:19,500
Speaker 2: is an oxymoron. So in this regard, I would say

420
00:26:19,540 --> 00:26:24,940
Speaker 2: to you that having little rewards for yourself, and it's

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00:26:24,979 --> 00:26:27,460
Speaker 2: important that they be little, because if you make them huge,

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00:26:27,899 --> 00:26:33,499
Speaker 2: it can become addictive. But for example, you know it.

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Speaker 2: Most people like to buy themselves something, and a lot

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Speaker 2: of people like to buy themselves a lot of things.

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Speaker 3: Some people can stop buying themselves things.

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Speaker 2: But I would recommend to you to have to try

427
00:26:50,419 --> 00:26:56,100
Speaker 2: to have that ability as a reward to yourself after something.

428
00:26:55,859 --> 00:26:59,060
Speaker 3: Painful that you have to do is done.

429
00:26:59,219 --> 00:27:04,060
Speaker 2: For example, I get myself and for everyone that it

430
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:06,859
Speaker 2: will be it'll seem trivial. But life is composed of

431
00:27:06,899 --> 00:27:10,340
Speaker 2: these of these little details. It is a pain to

432
00:27:10,340 --> 00:27:14,300
Speaker 2: put out an issue of my newsletter, and every way possible.

433
00:27:14,979 --> 00:27:18,139
Speaker 2: The writing is painful, the editing is doubly painful. The

434
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:22,060
Speaker 2: type setting is painful, the mailing is painful. It's all painful.

435
00:27:22,739 --> 00:27:26,260
Speaker 2: But there are two rewards after it. One is the issue.

436
00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:30,979
Speaker 2: But that's not enough. I am not that wonderful. I

437
00:27:31,060 --> 00:27:33,499
Speaker 2: get myself something at the end. I'll either get a

438
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:36,859
Speaker 2: couple of compact discs or I'll get myself a pipe.

439
00:27:36,899 --> 00:27:38,779
Speaker 2: I know this is a scandal to some of you.

440
00:27:38,939 --> 00:27:41,659
Speaker 2: I understand it's only for a collection. God forbid. I

441
00:27:41,659 --> 00:27:43,819
Speaker 2: would never think of smoking it. I just like to

442
00:27:43,859 --> 00:27:47,219
Speaker 2: look at them. I already lost listeners on my radio

443
00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:49,739
Speaker 2: show for admitting I'm a pipe smoker, So why should

444
00:27:49,739 --> 00:27:53,220
Speaker 2: I alienate you too? The only state on earth where

445
00:27:53,260 --> 00:27:55,859
Speaker 2: you alienate people by saying smoke a pipe. Be that

446
00:27:55,899 --> 00:28:00,259
Speaker 2: as it may. I get myself something. I think that

447
00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:04,179
Speaker 2: women after, if who work, should do the same thing.

448
00:28:04,219 --> 00:28:06,419
Speaker 2: But let's say a woman is at home. There is

449
00:28:06,540 --> 00:28:11,859
Speaker 2: nothing more relentless than housework. Nothing, There's nothing men do

450
00:28:12,739 --> 00:28:17,899
Speaker 2: that compares in its none satisfaction. I am convinced even

451
00:28:17,939 --> 00:28:21,540
Speaker 2: if he puts pencil erasers on pencil in a factory,

452
00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:26,820
Speaker 2: that compares to running a house because to the moment

453
00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:30,260
Speaker 2: you have done the dishes, they are then re dirtied.

454
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:33,619
Speaker 2: He doesn't have that. When I have an issue out,

455
00:28:33,619 --> 00:28:35,819
Speaker 2: it's out. It's not nobody. They don't put it in

456
00:28:35,859 --> 00:28:38,700
Speaker 2: a shredder and I have to write it again. But

457
00:28:38,780 --> 00:28:42,660
Speaker 2: women have that. Or your kid, you finally the kid

458
00:28:42,739 --> 00:28:45,900
Speaker 2: is puked and the kid is diarrhea, and you were

459
00:28:45,979 --> 00:28:50,900
Speaker 2: finally cleaned it. Then puke's again. That's it. And who

460
00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:54,300
Speaker 2: appreciates it? Does your husband come and said, oh my God,

461
00:28:54,380 --> 00:28:56,140
Speaker 2: he puke Christ Like, I don't know what to say

462
00:28:56,140 --> 00:28:59,219
Speaker 2: to you God. And even if he does, it doesn't

463
00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:03,340
Speaker 2: quite in your mind. In our rival what he just

464
00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:05,739
Speaker 2: did at the store, at the law firm, or in

465
00:29:05,780 --> 00:29:10,459
Speaker 2: his business. Women in particular, believe it or not, because

466
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,700
Speaker 2: men's work is it often has built in rewards, as

467
00:29:15,780 --> 00:29:20,380
Speaker 2: my issue would have as winning a case as selling

468
00:29:20,860 --> 00:29:24,979
Speaker 2: more widgets, work by death, as a farmer has a

469
00:29:25,020 --> 00:29:29,220
Speaker 2: pharmacy is the wheat. But women don't have that. They

470
00:29:29,260 --> 00:29:32,180
Speaker 2: have it when the kid is twenty, after all of

471
00:29:32,219 --> 00:29:34,860
Speaker 2: the puking and all the screaming and all the yelling

472
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:37,300
Speaker 2: and everything, then they look and they see it twenty

473
00:29:37,380 --> 00:29:40,580
Speaker 2: and just as they can enjoy it, they leave. Men

474
00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:42,780
Speaker 2: don't have that. They enjoy their way. It's still there.

475
00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:45,780
Speaker 2: The widgets are sold, you get something, all this work

476
00:29:45,780 --> 00:29:48,500
Speaker 2: on the kids, and then they leave and rarely thank you,

477
00:29:48,780 --> 00:29:54,380
Speaker 2: and then don't call. So it is no I beg

478
00:29:54,580 --> 00:29:59,019
Speaker 2: men here to understand what women who do run a

479
00:29:59,060 --> 00:30:03,420
Speaker 2: home have to deal with that. You know, when I

480
00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:05,660
Speaker 2: hear men and I admit that these are all things

481
00:30:05,739 --> 00:30:07,900
Speaker 2: I had to learn. These are not wisdoms that came

482
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:11,219
Speaker 2: to me naturally as a young man, believe me. But

483
00:30:11,340 --> 00:30:17,660
Speaker 2: when I hear men today romanticize raising children, romanticize being

484
00:30:17,780 --> 00:30:21,780
Speaker 2: a homemaker, I want to punch them. I have one

485
00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:24,100
Speaker 2: question to ask him, did you ever do it for

486
00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:27,299
Speaker 2: a week. If you did it for a week and

487
00:30:27,380 --> 00:30:30,580
Speaker 2: still feel that way, at least you have some credibility.

488
00:30:31,140 --> 00:30:33,220
Speaker 2: But if you haven't done it for more than a day.

489
00:30:33,260 --> 00:30:35,900
Speaker 2: When your wife got the grip one day and couldn't

490
00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:39,500
Speaker 2: do it, and you went bananas or ordered in all

491
00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:44,780
Speaker 2: the food and used paper dishes, paper cups, paper underwear,

492
00:30:44,979 --> 00:30:50,420
Speaker 2: paper clothing in a paper house, that's very different. That's

493
00:30:50,459 --> 00:30:53,620
Speaker 2: not what she does. Men have to appreciate this fact.

494
00:30:54,260 --> 00:30:59,340
Speaker 2: It is a relentless task without immediate rewards. The rewards

495
00:30:59,380 --> 00:31:03,420
Speaker 2: are so far down the line and then very ephemeral, because,

496
00:31:03,459 --> 00:31:06,099
Speaker 2: as I say, the best reward a mother could have

497
00:31:06,180 --> 00:31:09,780
Speaker 2: as a child who becomes independent of her. That's the joke.

498
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:12,420
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, so why do you say then? Look?

499
00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:15,380
Speaker 2: I mean, look, there is some satisfaction, but your satisfaction

500
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:19,020
Speaker 2: is not the same as other ones that are more

501
00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:25,779
Speaker 2: immediate and permanent within your geographical surroundings. So I believe

502
00:31:26,180 --> 00:31:29,140
Speaker 2: that it is important to reward ourselves. What you want

503
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:31,620
Speaker 2: to try to do is to do it after a

504
00:31:31,979 --> 00:31:35,700
Speaker 2: painful task that you had to do. So why if

505
00:31:35,739 --> 00:31:38,140
Speaker 2: you're dieting? I know, good diets tell you you have

506
00:31:38,180 --> 00:31:40,860
Speaker 2: to do every so often cheat or you will go mad.

507
00:31:41,180 --> 00:31:44,860
Speaker 2: You will absolutely go mad. And that is why, By

508
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:47,060
Speaker 2: the way, I don't want to make a big deal

509
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,540
Speaker 2: about this, but that is why I am a believer

510
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:53,540
Speaker 2: in having certain joys in life, even if there is

511
00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:58,380
Speaker 2: if they are not absolutely safe. Is there some possibility

512
00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,980
Speaker 2: I will get lip cancer? Yes, there is. I don't

513
00:32:00,979 --> 00:32:04,900
Speaker 2: know anybody who ever did. Millions of people of smoke pipes.

514
00:32:04,940 --> 00:32:07,459
Speaker 2: I don't know anybody who did. I'm sure it's a possibility.

515
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:09,940
Speaker 2: It's a possibility I will die in a car crash,

516
00:32:10,140 --> 00:32:13,219
Speaker 2: is fact. That's a greater possibility than lip cancer. I

517
00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:15,459
Speaker 2: am willing to take the risk for the pleasure of

518
00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:18,259
Speaker 2: my pipe. I'm not willing to take a risk with

519
00:32:18,260 --> 00:32:21,900
Speaker 2: cigarette smoking where the risk is simply high. I don't

520
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:26,019
Speaker 2: live to be healthy. I really do live partially to

521
00:32:26,219 --> 00:32:30,380
Speaker 2: enjoy life. I want to you understand very it's a

522
00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:33,300
Speaker 2: philosophic thing that you have to you have to do

523
00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:38,020
Speaker 2: if you can get away with smoking two cigarettes a day,

524
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:42,700
Speaker 2: smoke two cigarettes a day. Most people can't. Most people.

525
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:46,140
Speaker 2: It just builds and it builds and it builds. If

526
00:32:46,219 --> 00:32:49,059
Speaker 2: you love something and it isn't the healthiest, and there

527
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,620
Speaker 2: is nothing lovable that is healthy. I mean, do you understand,

528
00:32:52,979 --> 00:32:55,820
Speaker 2: I mean, how many people I'll reward myself today? I'll

529
00:32:55,820 --> 00:33:04,660
Speaker 2: have a carrot? Right? I mean, it doesn't happen after

530
00:33:04,739 --> 00:33:10,580
Speaker 2: a hard day sealery. It doesn't work. It doesn't work.

531
00:33:11,219 --> 00:33:14,700
Speaker 2: You know what particularly is for you? Is it another

532
00:33:14,780 --> 00:33:18,299
Speaker 2: pair of shoes? I'm dead serious, Try, however, not to

533
00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:22,339
Speaker 2: have it that you only enjoy two hundred dollars shoes. No, no, no,

534
00:33:22,420 --> 00:33:24,860
Speaker 2: that's where none of that's very important. That's the key.

535
00:33:24,860 --> 00:33:29,499
Speaker 2: And believe me, the irony is if shopping is a

536
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:30,940
Speaker 2: real pleasure for you.

537
00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:35,940
Speaker 3: And you can't curb it entirely and shouldn't buy the way, what.

538
00:33:35,860 --> 00:33:38,340
Speaker 2: You should at least do is get satisfaction from the

539
00:33:38,420 --> 00:33:44,059
Speaker 2: cheaper stuff. Most shopping satisfaction is from the shopping, not

540
00:33:44,260 --> 00:33:50,540
Speaker 2: the amount. Remember that a cheap pair of shoes is

541
00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:53,819
Speaker 2: as fun to buy as an expensive pair of shoes

542
00:33:53,820 --> 00:34:00,539
Speaker 2: for most people. If unless unless you know Emmelde Maco's

543
00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:05,140
Speaker 2: aside for a minute, no no, no, what is a

544
00:34:05,219 --> 00:34:07,900
Speaker 2: very important thing to know that. I mean, if you

545
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:09,980
Speaker 2: only buy a few pair a year, and for them,

546
00:34:10,060 --> 00:34:12,259
Speaker 2: it's not the shopping. It's the utilitary value. You want

547
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:14,739
Speaker 2: a good pair of shoes, fine, that's different. But if

548
00:34:14,739 --> 00:34:17,739
Speaker 2: it's just the act of shopping, please know that that

549
00:34:17,940 --> 00:34:21,060
Speaker 2: is the pleasure. And I relate to that. I've always

550
00:34:21,060 --> 00:34:24,940
Speaker 2: said depression goes shopping. It helps I do. I relate

551
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:27,299
Speaker 2: to that. The trick is, though I don't go out

552
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:31,299
Speaker 2: and buy expensive stuff. At that point, it's fun, you know,

553
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:34,460
Speaker 2: just go out and keep your tastes in a certain arena.

554
00:34:35,219 --> 00:34:37,979
Speaker 2: And I think that that is very helpful. Now we've

555
00:34:37,980 --> 00:34:40,259
Speaker 2: spoken a lot about that. I want to get to

556
00:34:40,299 --> 00:34:46,060
Speaker 2: develop the point about depth. I said to you last

557
00:34:46,060 --> 00:34:51,660
Speaker 2: week you should seek depth more than you should seek happiness,

558
00:34:51,940 --> 00:34:56,620
Speaker 2: and you will be a happier human being. The only way, however,

559
00:34:56,700 --> 00:35:05,140
Speaker 2: for that to work, is for you to truly.

560
00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:08,060
Speaker 3: Believe that depth is more important than happiness.

561
00:35:10,180 --> 00:35:12,779
Speaker 2: Did I elaborate on this last week that you can't

562
00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:15,540
Speaker 2: fool yourself. You can't say'll be deep because I really

563
00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:17,339
Speaker 2: want to be happy? Good? Okay, So you know that

564
00:35:19,580 --> 00:35:27,299
Speaker 2: I'm going to prove it to you. Did I give

565
00:35:27,339 --> 00:35:31,580
Speaker 2: you the example of the retarded child? Now as an example.

566
00:35:31,620 --> 00:35:34,420
Speaker 2: A philosopher wrote recently to make the point of depth

567
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:39,379
Speaker 2: is more important than happiness. I read it recently. Let

568
00:35:39,460 --> 00:35:42,140
Speaker 2: us say you knew it a person, a child fifteen

569
00:35:42,180 --> 00:35:49,740
Speaker 2: year old who is somewhat mentally retarded and quite happy,

570
00:35:50,339 --> 00:35:57,739
Speaker 2: which by the way, is quite possible, and a drug

571
00:35:58,219 --> 00:36:02,859
Speaker 2: was in fact invented to undo the retardation, enabling the

572
00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:06,980
Speaker 2: child to lead a normal life and by definition be

573
00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:11,819
Speaker 2: less happy. I suspect ninety nine percent of us would

574
00:36:11,819 --> 00:36:16,859
Speaker 2: give the child a drug. That was a great example

575
00:36:17,180 --> 00:36:20,420
Speaker 2: to my mind to prove that virtually every one of

576
00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:26,939
Speaker 2: us us really does prefer depth to happiness. If you

577
00:36:27,020 --> 00:36:31,580
Speaker 2: could be happy and less fully human, you would opt

578
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:36,940
Speaker 2: to be fully human and less happy. I don't remember

579
00:36:36,980 --> 00:36:39,140
Speaker 2: the philosopher who said it, but he said, why does it?

580
00:36:39,180 --> 00:36:43,300
Speaker 2: I rather be a dissatisfied Socrates than a satisfied pig.

581
00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:50,739
Speaker 2: That's the point I would rather. That is why I

582
00:36:50,819 --> 00:36:54,140
Speaker 2: began this whole course by saying, if you think of

583
00:36:54,219 --> 00:36:58,500
Speaker 2: happiness entirely in terms of feelings, then you should envy animals.

584
00:37:00,660 --> 00:37:03,980
Speaker 2: Your dog that I could say, for as a given,

585
00:37:04,420 --> 00:37:07,299
Speaker 2: knowing this audience, to the extent that I know any

586
00:37:07,420 --> 00:37:14,380
Speaker 2: socioeconomic group, your dog is almost constantly happy. Your dog

587
00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:22,220
Speaker 2: veers between regular happy and ecstasy. Okay, ours ours does,

588
00:37:23,259 --> 00:37:26,859
Speaker 2: except when you know hospa schellum heaven. For fen we

589
00:37:26,980 --> 00:37:30,060
Speaker 2: put her in a kennel, but that is very rare,

590
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,299
Speaker 2: and we have very deep guilt, and we get unhappier

591
00:37:32,299 --> 00:37:34,779
Speaker 2: than she, and then it's a whole vicious cycle, and

592
00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:39,900
Speaker 2: then we're angry at her for making us guilty. And anyway, otherwise,

593
00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:42,299
Speaker 2: your dog is very happy. Would you like to be

594
00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:47,259
Speaker 2: a dog? Time is better to be a dog than

595
00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:51,020
Speaker 2: it than it was to be a human in Auschwitz.

596
00:37:51,580 --> 00:37:54,860
Speaker 2: But you're not an Auschwitz. You have normal human miseries,

597
00:37:54,900 --> 00:38:00,940
Speaker 2: not abnormal human miseries. And on the human level, I

598
00:38:01,299 --> 00:38:05,620
Speaker 2: give you the example of retardation versus normalcy, with lesser

599
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:12,780
Speaker 2: happiness attributed to normalcy. For my life, there's just no question.

600
00:38:13,140 --> 00:38:18,140
Speaker 2: Depth is number one, number one, whatever it will bring

601
00:38:18,180 --> 00:38:23,980
Speaker 2: in its wake many people, and in America in particular,

602
00:38:24,739 --> 00:38:28,060
Speaker 2: well I take that back. Many people Americans have a

603
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:30,379
Speaker 2: specific way of doing this, but in my travels I've

604
00:38:30,420 --> 00:38:34,460
Speaker 2: seen more primitive ways. I would say that a vast

605
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:39,939
Speaker 2: majority of people live life to get through it. And

606
00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:43,060
Speaker 2: there's a simple proof. What do you do when you

607
00:38:43,140 --> 00:38:48,819
Speaker 2: don't have to work? That is the litmus test to

608
00:38:48,940 --> 00:38:54,180
Speaker 2: whether or not depth is important to you. What do

609
00:38:54,259 --> 00:39:01,180
Speaker 2: you do when you don't have to work? In many

610
00:39:01,219 --> 00:39:06,660
Speaker 2: parts of the world, people spend hours a day playing cards.

611
00:39:06,779 --> 00:39:09,580
Speaker 2: In when I was on the island of Bali, I

612
00:39:09,620 --> 00:39:12,580
Speaker 2: saw men spend good parts of their days at cockfights,

613
00:39:12,859 --> 00:39:20,620
Speaker 2: betting at cock fights. In America's television, sports and television,

614
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:26,939
Speaker 2: it's very good indicator. What do you do when you

615
00:39:27,020 --> 00:39:31,419
Speaker 2: don't have to work? Tells you how important growing And

616
00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:34,739
Speaker 2: that was the term we used last week growing is

617
00:39:34,779 --> 00:39:35,020
Speaker 2: to you.

618
00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:38,180
Speaker 3: For most Americans it is not important.

619
00:39:41,299 --> 00:39:43,700
Speaker 2: That is why it is. I mean, just to give

620
00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:47,020
Speaker 2: very immediate example, the number of excellent courses at this

621
00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:50,260
Speaker 2: university for adults is absolutely It's like a candy store

622
00:39:50,299 --> 00:39:50,860
Speaker 2: for the brain.

623
00:39:52,540 --> 00:39:55,020
Speaker 3: The average course has fifteen students.

624
00:39:57,339 --> 00:40:02,899
Speaker 2: The vast majority of people of the same backgrounds are

625
00:40:02,940 --> 00:40:06,019
Speaker 2: at home and a what are they doing at home?

626
00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:12,580
Speaker 2: Watching television? Watching television is the single most non growth

627
00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:16,260
Speaker 2: activity a human can engage in. I have said on radio,

628
00:40:16,339 --> 00:40:19,419
Speaker 2: and I believe it. You would get deeper watching a

629
00:40:19,540 --> 00:40:24,979
Speaker 2: lima bean plant than watching television, because at least as

630
00:40:25,020 --> 00:40:28,700
Speaker 2: you looked at the plant, you would think it is

631
00:40:28,819 --> 00:40:31,660
Speaker 2: spoon fed. You know what it is. It is Nintendo

632
00:40:31,779 --> 00:40:37,899
Speaker 2: for adults television, just as I try to wean my

633
00:40:38,180 --> 00:40:41,739
Speaker 2: son away with seven from Nintendo and have limits on

634
00:40:41,819 --> 00:40:44,819
Speaker 2: how much he could sit and have people, you know,

635
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:48,140
Speaker 2: gobble each other up and warp onto a third level.

636
00:40:49,779 --> 00:40:52,700
Speaker 2: But why is that any different from ninety nine percent

637
00:40:52,739 --> 00:40:56,020
Speaker 2: of the television that we have, And ladies and gentlemen

638
00:40:56,700 --> 00:41:03,660
Speaker 2: I include in particular the news. Do not fool yourself

639
00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:07,259
Speaker 2: into thinking, well, I don't watch TV, I only watch

640
00:41:07,299 --> 00:41:12,259
Speaker 2: the news. You are as much nintendoized as anybody who

641
00:41:12,299 --> 00:41:16,620
Speaker 2: watches the Wheel of Fortune. The only difference is they

642
00:41:16,660 --> 00:41:21,059
Speaker 2: don't claim that they're growing you do. They are more

643
00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:24,219
Speaker 2: honest the watchers of Wheel of Fortune. They know it's

644
00:41:24,219 --> 00:41:27,219
Speaker 2: strictly for the entertainment, and I will prove to you

645
00:41:27,339 --> 00:41:31,859
Speaker 2: it is strictly entertainment. If you videoed tonight's news, you

646
00:41:31,900 --> 00:41:36,700
Speaker 2: wouldn't give a damn to watch it tomorrow, but you

647
00:41:36,739 --> 00:41:42,060
Speaker 2: would read tomorrow today's newspaper tomorrow. Indeed, with a good newspaper,

648
00:41:42,219 --> 00:41:45,339
Speaker 2: you would read it next week. Indeed, with the New

649
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,979
Speaker 2: York Times, America's best newspaper by far, you would read

650
00:41:48,980 --> 00:41:53,899
Speaker 2: it a month later. It's challenges, it has depth, and

651
00:41:53,940 --> 00:41:57,460
Speaker 2: I don't agree with its political positions. So you understand

652
00:41:57,500 --> 00:42:02,419
Speaker 2: I'm hardly here to advocate a newspaper. That's why I

653
00:42:02,460 --> 00:42:07,380
Speaker 2: am passionate on the issue of television. It is cockfighting,

654
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:11,939
Speaker 2: it is cards playing. It is the modern form of

655
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:17,500
Speaker 2: that dreadful phrase killing time. Killing time means I don't

656
00:42:17,739 --> 00:42:22,580
Speaker 2: I am waiting to drop dead work to make a living.

657
00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:25,620
Speaker 2: And when I don't have to work, I kill time.

658
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:34,819
Speaker 2: I will sit back to be entertained. It's a tough

659
00:42:34,859 --> 00:42:36,899
Speaker 2: litmus test for people. What do you do when you

660
00:42:36,940 --> 00:42:39,060
Speaker 2: don't have to do your work? But that's the best

661
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:41,259
Speaker 2: way I can phrase to you how important it is

662
00:42:41,380 --> 00:42:45,339
Speaker 2: to get deeper. By the way, let me give you

663
00:42:45,380 --> 00:42:49,739
Speaker 2: a phrase here from telling you to tractate ethics of

664
00:42:49,779 --> 00:42:54,660
Speaker 2: the fathers, that is very helpful, call kaloka. All beginnings

665
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:59,180
Speaker 2: are difficult. It is very hard to start on a

666
00:42:59,219 --> 00:43:06,819
Speaker 2: lifetime program of getting deeper. All beginnings are difficult. It

667
00:43:06,859 --> 00:43:12,140
Speaker 2: gets much easier as you go on, much easier, my friends,

668
00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:17,140
Speaker 2: if you embark on what I now ask you, I

669
00:43:17,299 --> 00:43:22,580
Speaker 2: promise you in ninety percent of the I know what

670
00:43:22,660 --> 00:43:26,460
Speaker 2: will happen. I ask you to cut in half or

671
00:43:26,540 --> 00:43:31,419
Speaker 2: simply drop television watching for a month. If you feel

672
00:43:31,460 --> 00:43:34,419
Speaker 2: you'll miss something important, there's a great device. It's called

673
00:43:34,420 --> 00:43:37,739
Speaker 2: the video cassette recorder. I don't mean that at all flippantly.

674
00:43:38,620 --> 00:43:43,020
Speaker 2: If there's something you're dying to see, record it sixty

675
00:43:43,100 --> 00:43:46,460
Speaker 2: minutes will be just as relevant or irrelevant a month

676
00:43:46,460 --> 00:43:50,100
Speaker 2: from now. It's not timely. It's irrelevant as you know.

677
00:43:50,140 --> 00:43:52,900
Speaker 2: They made it three months ago. Anyway, they're only airing

678
00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:56,259
Speaker 2: it next Sunday night. Whatever it might be. By the way,

679
00:43:56,460 --> 00:43:58,340
Speaker 2: I don't mind it all. If you have a favorite

680
00:43:58,339 --> 00:44:02,339
Speaker 2: stupid show. In fact, that to me is just as

681
00:44:02,420 --> 00:44:05,299
Speaker 2: valid by far. You have a sitcom you like, you

682
00:44:05,339 --> 00:44:07,660
Speaker 2: know it's a name. What's wrong? Nothing wrong with having pleasure?

683
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:11,299
Speaker 2: Absolutely video that too. Do you know that you could

684
00:44:11,299 --> 00:44:13,299
Speaker 2: send your video to come on the same time each

685
00:44:13,339 --> 00:44:16,180
Speaker 2: week for four weeks, maybe two weeks in your case,

686
00:44:16,259 --> 00:44:23,259
Speaker 2: or if you're really in the underclass, six days. I'm

687
00:44:23,299 --> 00:44:25,700
Speaker 2: telling you give it a try, and here's what to

688
00:44:25,779 --> 00:44:33,580
Speaker 2: do instead. Read Read even if they are even if

689
00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:39,219
Speaker 2: you're only in the beginning reading pop novels. There is

690
00:44:39,339 --> 00:44:44,300
Speaker 2: infinitely more brain usage in reading an Erica Jong novel

691
00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:49,059
Speaker 2: than there is in watching the news and I'm trying

692
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:50,180
Speaker 2: to take the extremes.

693
00:44:53,299 --> 00:44:57,259
Speaker 3: Start a course in something, pick up a language.

694
00:44:57,900 --> 00:44:59,620
Speaker 2: I bet every one of you has been outside of

695
00:44:59,660 --> 00:45:02,460
Speaker 2: the United States, and if you've been to a foreign

696
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:07,019
Speaker 2: speaking country, didn't you have? Can you imagine what would

697
00:45:07,060 --> 00:45:11,380
Speaker 2: be like if I could speak the language triath trith.

698
00:45:12,739 --> 00:45:15,339
Speaker 2: Some of you are gifted linguistically, others or not, but

699
00:45:15,460 --> 00:45:19,540
Speaker 2: every one of you can make headway. The Romance languages

700
00:45:19,580 --> 00:45:21,980
Speaker 2: are easier than the German, the Dramatic, or easier than

701
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:25,180
Speaker 2: the Slavic. The Slavic are easier than the Oriental. And

702
00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:29,299
Speaker 2: it goes like that. Try something. Imagine any of you

703
00:45:29,380 --> 00:45:33,420
Speaker 2: who are religiously incline, if you're a Jew, to actually

704
00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:37,379
Speaker 2: see the things in Hebrew, what a lift it would

705
00:45:37,420 --> 00:45:39,660
Speaker 2: give you, Or if you're a Christian to see the

706
00:45:39,700 --> 00:45:44,379
Speaker 2: New Testament in Greek. Do you know there are only

707
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:51,140
Speaker 2: twenty two letters in Hebrew? Just twenty two letters? Do

708
00:45:51,180 --> 00:45:55,860
Speaker 2: you know? When I studied Russian as an undergraduate in college,

709
00:45:56,859 --> 00:45:58,939
Speaker 2: we came in on a Monday. We were told that

710
00:45:59,020 --> 00:46:01,739
Speaker 2: on Wednesday we would have a quiz on the entire

711
00:46:01,819 --> 00:46:05,980
Speaker 2: Russian alphabet, which is thirty two letters. There were a

712
00:46:05,980 --> 00:46:09,060
Speaker 2: big deal. Now it's actually easier than Hebrew because they

713
00:46:09,060 --> 00:46:11,219
Speaker 2: were all different, whereas half of the Russian alphabet is

714
00:46:11,219 --> 00:46:13,580
Speaker 2: the same, though unfortunately a lot of those that are

715
00:46:13,580 --> 00:46:14,340
Speaker 2: the same are different.

716
00:46:14,739 --> 00:46:16,379
Speaker 3: And H is and N if he is in r

717
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:20,299
Speaker 3: they go a little crazy, but.

718
00:46:19,299 --> 00:46:22,620
Speaker 2: A big deal. Chinese doesn't work that way, Arabic doesn't

719
00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:25,580
Speaker 2: work that way. But there is so much And I

720
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:29,700
Speaker 2: told you this last week. Find something, just do it

721
00:46:29,739 --> 00:46:32,620
Speaker 2: instead of television. You have so much time, look at

722
00:46:32,660 --> 00:46:36,380
Speaker 2: taking this course, but there were so many other things

723
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:38,939
Speaker 2: like this available. You Look where you are, My god,

724
00:46:38,980 --> 00:46:41,540
Speaker 2: I'm not speaking to people in the middle of a

725
00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:46,220
Speaker 2: tiny rural place where the only event in the city

726
00:46:46,299 --> 00:46:49,779
Speaker 2: may be bingo and you have to travel miles to

727
00:46:49,819 --> 00:46:55,140
Speaker 2: hear a string quartet. Take up something, that is if

728
00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:58,379
Speaker 2: you want to be deeper. But remember I challenged you

729
00:46:59,219 --> 00:47:02,620
Speaker 2: with this comment. If you find people boring, and I

730
00:47:02,660 --> 00:47:07,819
Speaker 2: especially say this to singles who date, remember they may

731
00:47:07,900 --> 00:47:10,499
Speaker 2: be saying the same thing about you after the date.

732
00:47:12,700 --> 00:47:19,339
Speaker 2: Very important. What makes people interesting is depth. This would

733
00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:24,540
Speaker 2: become very meaningful to you. It is one of the

734
00:47:24,580 --> 00:47:34,700
Speaker 2: reasons that this society so does not value old age.

735
00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:37,019
Speaker 3: And so regards getting older as getting unhappier.

736
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:45,979
Speaker 2: For those to those who value depth and see that

737
00:47:46,420 --> 00:47:51,299
Speaker 2: as the greatest source of pleasure in many ways in

738
00:47:51,339 --> 00:47:59,379
Speaker 2: life getting older without romanticizing getting older with the physical

739
00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:04,459
Speaker 2: ailments that may accompany it. But in many instances, and

740
00:48:04,500 --> 00:48:07,219
Speaker 2: increasingly in America, that is not the case until very

741
00:48:07,339 --> 00:48:11,899
Speaker 2: very old age, which is advancing that whatever very very

742
00:48:11,940 --> 00:48:15,500
Speaker 2: old is becomes a decade more every twenty years or

743
00:48:15,540 --> 00:48:22,339
Speaker 2: so now, but in America, not valuing it. There is

744
00:48:22,420 --> 00:48:27,899
Speaker 2: nothing good about getting older. Everything we value is fun oriented.

745
00:48:28,580 --> 00:48:31,420
Speaker 2: Everyone wants to be happy. It's a very simple equation.

746
00:48:31,620 --> 00:48:37,539
Speaker 2: Happiness for most in our society equals fund more. Fun

747
00:48:37,620 --> 00:48:42,859
Speaker 2: is associated with being young. By the way, if they

748
00:48:42,900 --> 00:48:49,219
Speaker 2: ever show happy older people, they're having fun, right, Oh good,

749
00:48:49,219 --> 00:48:52,060
Speaker 2: all the golf they can play, like, isn't that terrific?

750
00:48:52,180 --> 00:48:54,700
Speaker 2: Oh my god? That is what is worth getting older for.

751
00:48:55,219 --> 00:48:58,940
Speaker 2: I could play golf every day, not just on weekends.

752
00:48:59,859 --> 00:49:04,299
Speaker 2: For this I live. But this is the truth. You

753
00:49:04,420 --> 00:49:08,779
Speaker 2: graduate from television to golf, that is what That is

754
00:49:08,819 --> 00:49:17,180
Speaker 2: the American dream. If you value depth, getting older has

755
00:49:17,219 --> 00:49:20,500
Speaker 2: an incredibly good thing. You've had more time to do,

756
00:49:22,420 --> 00:49:25,740
Speaker 2: and then you really do get deeper. Once you start,

757
00:49:25,779 --> 00:49:29,859
Speaker 2: you keep digging and you get deeper. It's one of

758
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:35,620
Speaker 2: the best parts. When I think of getting older, I

759
00:49:35,660 --> 00:49:38,540
Speaker 2: think that I'll have more clarity. That gives me a

760
00:49:38,739 --> 00:49:43,620
Speaker 2: very great calm about getting older. The interest that I've

761
00:49:43,660 --> 00:49:46,060
Speaker 2: always had, I've never been, in any event, wonderful to

762
00:49:46,140 --> 00:49:49,060
Speaker 2: have when you're young. I've been very lucky in this

763
00:49:49,180 --> 00:49:54,700
Speaker 2: regard since I have always been. I've always gravitated towards

764
00:49:55,259 --> 00:49:59,660
Speaker 2: towards death. I don't know why. It's probably half luck

765
00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:04,819
Speaker 2: and half parents and half tradition and half god knows what, well,

766
00:50:04,859 --> 00:50:07,419
Speaker 2: whatever it might be, that was three halves I recognize,

767
00:50:07,420 --> 00:50:13,700
Speaker 2: but I was all the things that motivated me, which

768
00:50:13,779 --> 00:50:17,500
Speaker 2: set me apart very much from my own generation. I

769
00:50:17,580 --> 00:50:20,140
Speaker 2: remember the looks I got from friends at college when

770
00:50:20,140 --> 00:50:20,660
Speaker 2: they would.

771
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:22,939
Speaker 3: Go Puerto Rico during winter break.

772
00:50:22,779 --> 00:50:26,820
Speaker 2: And I go to Bulgaria, which is exactly why what happened.

773
00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:30,100
Speaker 2: They lie in the sun and I would be living

774
00:50:30,180 --> 00:50:33,779
Speaker 2: with a family, which is exactly what I did in Sophia, Bulgaria,

775
00:50:33,819 --> 00:50:36,979
Speaker 2: or in Lublin, Poland, or in Budapest, Hungary.

776
00:50:37,940 --> 00:50:40,140
Speaker 3: And believe me, theirs was more pleasurable.

777
00:50:40,660 --> 00:50:44,739
Speaker 2: It wasn't all fun traveling to the sixty five countries.

778
00:50:44,779 --> 00:50:47,980
Speaker 2: I went most of them alone. But wow, what I

779
00:50:48,100 --> 00:50:50,859
Speaker 2: have from it. Of course, I'm happier for it, and

780
00:50:50,900 --> 00:50:53,059
Speaker 2: what I mean, what it has given me in later life.

781
00:50:53,100 --> 00:50:59,140
Speaker 2: It's just been more worthwhile than three PhDs. I was

782
00:50:59,259 --> 00:51:02,980
Speaker 2: very lucky. This is something to cultivate in a child.

783
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:07,219
Speaker 2: A depth is more important than fun. There's something if

784
00:51:07,259 --> 00:51:09,939
Speaker 2: you can value something as an adult, there is an

785
00:51:09,940 --> 00:51:12,260
Speaker 2: example of something to try to impulcate in a child.

786
00:51:12,779 --> 00:51:16,420
Speaker 2: That is By the way, I'm sorry that I will

787
00:51:17,219 --> 00:51:21,460
Speaker 2: be coming to this topic more frequently in the last

788
00:51:21,500 --> 00:51:25,180
Speaker 2: four sessions, but it is one of the reasons, quite

789
00:51:25,219 --> 00:51:28,739
Speaker 2: aside from theological beliefs, that I am so pro religion.

790
00:51:30,660 --> 00:51:34,419
Speaker 2: If I know nothing about a about two people, I

791
00:51:34,460 --> 00:51:37,700
Speaker 2: only know one is religious and one is completely irreligious,

792
00:51:38,180 --> 00:51:41,700
Speaker 2: I assume the religious one is deeper. I don't assume

793
00:51:41,739 --> 00:51:45,060
Speaker 2: he's kinder necessarily. I don't assume he's more successful or

794
00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:50,899
Speaker 2: anything else. But I do assume that because religion all

795
00:51:50,980 --> 00:51:51,780
Speaker 2: things being equal.

796
00:51:51,819 --> 00:51:54,819
Speaker 3: Of course, there are some superficial religious human beings.

797
00:51:54,620 --> 00:51:59,739
Speaker 2: Of course, but all things being equal, religion asks deep questions,

798
00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:04,819
Speaker 2: makes deep demands. Is a is a flirtation with the

799
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:08,180
Speaker 2: eternal that the rest of the secular stuff is not.

800
00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:13,019
Speaker 2: And you know that because if you ever really want

801
00:52:13,060 --> 00:52:16,819
Speaker 2: the deepest of deep answers, you start to think in

802
00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:19,660
Speaker 2: religious terms, or speaking to someone if you know who

803
00:52:19,700 --> 00:52:22,420
Speaker 2: is religious, or going to a rabbi, a priest, or

804
00:52:22,460 --> 00:52:25,540
Speaker 2: a minister who may be much less intelligent than you

805
00:52:25,620 --> 00:52:28,859
Speaker 2: in brain matter, but you know has been spending a

806
00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:33,419
Speaker 2: life asking certain types of questions. I finally had to

807
00:52:33,460 --> 00:52:38,939
Speaker 2: make peace with the fact that, by absolute, no design whatsoever,

808
00:52:39,819 --> 00:52:48,180
Speaker 2: nearly every single friend of ours turns out to be religious, Mormon, Christian, Catholic,

809
00:52:48,980 --> 00:52:53,339
Speaker 2: doesn't matter. I was invited to a Muslim's home in

810
00:52:53,380 --> 00:52:56,620
Speaker 2: Los Angeles. We have so little in common in so

811
00:52:56,739 --> 00:52:59,100
Speaker 2: many areas, and in some ways great tension.

812
00:53:00,100 --> 00:53:04,739
Speaker 3: But the questions were similar, the concerns.

813
00:53:04,779 --> 00:53:13,219
Speaker 2: The reactions to life. It asks deeper stuff. So I

814
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:17,779
Speaker 2: end this portion of the course with an affirmation of

815
00:53:17,819 --> 00:53:18,900
Speaker 2: the pursuit of death.

816
00:53:23,219 --> 00:53:27,060
Speaker 3: If you like pop music, give classical a chance.

817
00:53:28,339 --> 00:53:34,739
Speaker 2: It's deeper. My attitude, I told you my attitude is

818
00:53:34,859 --> 00:53:38,899
Speaker 2: I have always envied people who had a joy that

819
00:53:39,020 --> 00:53:44,140
Speaker 2: I wasn't having. When I would see people shaking just

820
00:53:44,739 --> 00:53:48,819
Speaker 2: loving the Beethoven quartets, I knew all I give it

821
00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:51,099
Speaker 2: another chance, even though to this day I don't really

822
00:53:51,140 --> 00:53:54,660
Speaker 2: like Beethoven's quartets. But I'm told my music lovers, Dennis,

823
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:57,379
Speaker 2: if you really plug at it, you don't know the

824
00:53:57,580 --> 00:54:02,580
Speaker 2: richness of the late quartets. So I'm plugging, And let

825
00:54:02,660 --> 00:54:06,020
Speaker 2: me tell you, Frank Sinatra songs are much more immediately

826
00:54:07,900 --> 00:54:13,180
Speaker 2: satisfying pop music, movie themes are much more immediately appealing.

827
00:54:13,819 --> 00:54:16,739
Speaker 2: One of the things about depth is that it's not immediate.

828
00:54:17,700 --> 00:54:24,100
Speaker 2: By definition, It's not immediately appealing. It's worth making the effort.

829
00:54:24,299 --> 00:54:28,339
Speaker 2: The news is immediately appealing, it's in living color, it's

830
00:54:28,339 --> 00:54:33,860
Speaker 2: got action video, and it's superficial in the extreme, because

831
00:54:33,859 --> 00:54:36,580
Speaker 2: they will still be reading the great novels one hundred

832
00:54:36,660 --> 00:54:40,180
Speaker 2: years from now. But except for people who pursue trivia

833
00:54:40,219 --> 00:54:46,540
Speaker 2: of the twentieth century, who's gonna watch Dan Rathern and

834
00:54:46,739 --> 00:54:49,539
Speaker 2: think of the time you've spent with him or Peter

835
00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:51,060
Speaker 2: Jennings or Tom Brokaw.

836
00:54:54,900 --> 00:54:58,340
Speaker 3: That's the point. Seek the deeper stuff.

837
00:54:58,940 --> 00:54:59,460
Speaker 2: It works.

838
00:55:00,219 --> 00:55:04,660
Speaker 3: It works now.

839
00:55:05,859 --> 00:55:13,219
Speaker 2: Onto a new subject. One of the uh if there

840
00:55:13,219 --> 00:55:16,140
Speaker 2: will be anything unique in my book, I think this

841
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:20,980
Speaker 2: will be one of the things in all the books

842
00:55:21,100 --> 00:55:26,180
Speaker 2: on happiness that I have seen. I have not seen

843
00:55:27,259 --> 00:55:31,020
Speaker 2: are very strong. I haven't even seen a mild argument

844
00:55:31,100 --> 00:55:38,419
Speaker 2: made for the following. Goodness is a quality that is

845
00:55:39,180 --> 00:55:47,900
Speaker 2: instrumental to being happy. Overwhelmingly the argument for being good

846
00:55:50,020 --> 00:55:54,660
Speaker 2: is made on moral grounds, but it becomes a tautology.

847
00:55:54,739 --> 00:56:00,260
Speaker 3: You should be moral because it's moral, which I believe.

848
00:56:00,620 --> 00:56:05,339
Speaker 2: Obviously, you should be good to people because I value goodness.

849
00:56:06,700 --> 00:56:09,500
Speaker 2: But it's a course on happiness. It's a book on happiness,

850
00:56:10,779 --> 00:56:14,460
Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen. I make an audacious claim. All things

851
00:56:14,540 --> 00:56:20,100
Speaker 2: being equal, that's important. I can't take into count every

852
00:56:20,140 --> 00:56:27,739
Speaker 2: individual will consideration. Goodness brings much more happiness, much more

853
00:56:28,739 --> 00:56:42,499
Speaker 2: than selfishness. There are a few reasons for this. One

854
00:56:42,540 --> 00:56:45,780
Speaker 2: of them is so obvious that it probably would elude

855
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,580
Speaker 2: you if I asked you to write why you think

856
00:56:47,620 --> 00:56:53,259
Speaker 2: it would be true? And that is this. Generally speaking,

857
00:56:54,620 --> 00:57:01,620
Speaker 2: good people get treated more good. I will prove it

858
00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:10,380
Speaker 2: to you. I have known men who are not terribly

859
00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:18,700
Speaker 2: honest in their business dealings. In fact, where somewhat thugs,

860
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:25,900
Speaker 2: white color thugs, not not of you know, not of

861
00:57:25,940 --> 00:57:29,700
Speaker 2: the variety. They weren't counterfeiting fitting twenty dollar bills, but

862
00:57:29,740 --> 00:57:31,820
Speaker 2: they would cheat if they could get away with it.

863
00:57:31,860 --> 00:57:38,380
Speaker 2: They cheated. I've known them, and one of the incredibly

864
00:57:38,500 --> 00:57:42,060
Speaker 2: consistent traits they have had is that they were convinced

865
00:57:42,260 --> 00:57:46,860
Speaker 2: that everybody is out to cheat them. The reward of

866
00:57:46,980 --> 00:57:50,340
Speaker 2: being a cheat is that you think everybody treats you

867
00:57:51,020 --> 00:57:57,419
Speaker 2: just like you treat them. Honest people do not walk

868
00:57:57,460 --> 00:57:59,419
Speaker 2: around thinking, who's cheating me?

869
00:57:59,780 --> 00:58:02,580
Speaker 3: He's don't forget me. He don't keep your hands in

870
00:58:02,620 --> 00:58:03,140
Speaker 3: your pocket.

871
00:58:06,220 --> 00:58:09,499
Speaker 2: It's not necessary and it's not naivete. It's not necessary

872
00:58:10,900 --> 00:58:14,820
Speaker 2: to hold that, but it is. It is a remarkable thing.

873
00:58:15,540 --> 00:58:19,220
Speaker 2: I am convinced that the bad do sleep worse at night,

874
00:58:20,740 --> 00:58:24,020
Speaker 2: all things being equal, all things being equal, if you

875
00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:28,300
Speaker 2: have insomnia for physiological reasons, I can't account for that.

876
00:58:28,940 --> 00:58:31,580
Speaker 2: If you have terrible problems with your children and you're

877
00:58:31,620 --> 00:58:34,580
Speaker 2: a good person, then you're not sleeping because of the

878
00:58:34,620 --> 00:58:37,780
Speaker 2: problems with the children. That's all understood. It's why I

879
00:58:37,820 --> 00:58:43,020
Speaker 2: say all things being equal. But it is very important

880
00:58:43,060 --> 00:58:45,900
Speaker 2: to understand this idea. And I don't mean it in

881
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:49,100
Speaker 2: a calm sense. What you do comes back to you.

882
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:53,100
Speaker 2: It's too mystical for me. Even though I do believe that,

883
00:58:53,140 --> 00:58:56,700
Speaker 2: I don't believe it mystically. I believe it. In reality,

884
00:58:56,860 --> 00:59:02,900
Speaker 2: it generally happens. It's like telling a lie. Telling a

885
00:59:02,940 --> 00:59:06,180
Speaker 2: lie has a horrible effect because you have to remember

886
00:59:06,260 --> 00:59:09,220
Speaker 2: the law you told. I would love to pour into

887
00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:12,140
Speaker 2: the brains of honest people and into the brains of liars.

888
00:59:12,900 --> 00:59:15,140
Speaker 2: It would be like one is a polluted brain and

889
00:59:15,180 --> 00:59:18,660
Speaker 2: the other one is pristine clear. You remember the law

890
00:59:18,700 --> 00:59:20,939
Speaker 2: you told, then you have to remember how you told

891
00:59:20,940 --> 00:59:22,460
Speaker 2: it in all the things about it, And then you

892
00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:25,020
Speaker 2: have to lie again, probably because there was a detail

893
00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:28,180
Speaker 2: there that you've forgotten. You have to lie on and

894
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:30,580
Speaker 2: so on and so on and so on so forth.

895
00:59:32,260 --> 00:59:34,860
Speaker 2: It's true in business, it is true in any area

896
00:59:34,900 --> 00:59:39,420
Speaker 2: of life. I am convinced that while at any given

897
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:44,380
Speaker 2: time the bad way may be more immediately rewarding you,

898
00:59:44,540 --> 00:59:47,140
Speaker 2: after all your cheat on the test, you may get

899
00:59:47,140 --> 00:59:51,140
Speaker 2: into a better place in the long run. I think

900
00:59:51,220 --> 00:59:55,900
Speaker 2: the argument for goodness on happiness grounds prevails in the

901
00:59:55,940 --> 00:59:59,620
Speaker 2: long run, though it does not work at any given moment.

902
01:00:00,580 --> 01:00:03,140
Speaker 2: You know, parents call me up on the station, and

903
01:00:03,380 --> 01:00:07,140
Speaker 2: I get this not infrequently. How you keep talking about goodness, Dennis?

904
01:00:07,420 --> 01:00:09,740
Speaker 2: How can we tell our kids to be honest when

905
01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:14,620
Speaker 2: it's a dog eat dog rat race out there? Well,

906
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:18,060
Speaker 2: I don't agree with that approach you teach your children.

907
01:00:18,260 --> 01:00:20,300
Speaker 2: There are people out there who would try to skin

908
01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:23,340
Speaker 2: you a that is true, but you are obligated to

909
01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:26,780
Speaker 2: be better. And yes, in some cases it will be

910
01:00:26,940 --> 01:00:30,300
Speaker 2: in that immediate moment to your disadvantage. That is true,

911
01:00:31,540 --> 01:00:35,539
Speaker 2: but you will have benefit number two. Benefit Number one

912
01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:39,180
Speaker 2: was you get treated in returned. Okay, and I think

913
01:00:39,220 --> 01:00:41,220
Speaker 2: we can all vouch for that in our lives. By

914
01:00:41,260 --> 01:00:43,539
Speaker 2: the way, some will say, well, I'm good and people

915
01:00:43,580 --> 01:00:47,500
Speaker 2: are always stepping over me. Well, I always find that

916
01:00:47,540 --> 01:00:49,860
Speaker 2: to be an interesting thing. The good people I know

917
01:00:50,020 --> 01:00:53,499
Speaker 2: haven't been stepped on. If you're stepped on, that may

918
01:00:53,540 --> 01:00:57,060
Speaker 2: be another problem. But it is not your goodness that

919
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:00,020
Speaker 2: is causing you to be stepped on. It might be

920
01:01:00,180 --> 01:01:04,939
Speaker 2: your naivete about people. It might be foolish decisions that

921
01:01:04,980 --> 01:01:07,380
Speaker 2: you have made. I mean, you could be a good person,

922
01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:09,459
Speaker 2: but it doesn't mean that you still walk in certain

923
01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:15,700
Speaker 2: neighborhoods at two am whistling the Ku Klux Klan theme. Okay,

924
01:01:15,820 --> 01:01:20,019
Speaker 2: it is not a good idea, and so on. I mean,

925
01:01:20,380 --> 01:01:24,820
Speaker 2: do not ask for trouble if it is or if

926
01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:26,820
Speaker 2: trouble is what you will get, and so on. I

927
01:01:26,820 --> 01:01:31,260
Speaker 2: don't you know. I don't suggest these things, so I

928
01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:35,220
Speaker 2: don't accept this. I'm good and so I am stepped on.

929
01:01:35,540 --> 01:01:38,100
Speaker 2: I don't believe that you may be good and stepped on.

930
01:01:38,220 --> 01:01:40,979
Speaker 2: But they're not related. When you have to fight fight

931
01:01:41,060 --> 01:01:44,660
Speaker 2: good people fight. Good doesn't mean meek. Good doesn't mean weak,

932
01:01:47,980 --> 01:01:51,059
Speaker 2: and bad doesn't mean strong. It's another thing I tell

933
01:01:51,100 --> 01:01:56,540
Speaker 2: parents to teach their kids. Bad is weak. It is

934
01:01:56,660 --> 01:01:59,820
Speaker 2: takes no effort to be bad. It takes a lot

935
01:01:59,820 --> 01:02:03,700
Speaker 2: of strength to be good. Any jackass can be bad,

936
01:02:04,900 --> 01:02:10,300
Speaker 2: big deal. It's a thing in this society and in

937
01:02:10,340 --> 01:02:20,060
Speaker 2: most societies that has to be understood. Now. The first

938
01:02:20,140 --> 01:02:23,660
Speaker 2: reward was the way people treat you. The second reward

939
01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:29,820
Speaker 2: is self image. People who were good like themselves. People

940
01:02:29,820 --> 01:02:38,860
Speaker 2: who were not good don't like themselves. There's nothing to like. Now.

941
01:02:38,940 --> 01:02:41,340
Speaker 2: It is possible for a thug to have a good

942
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:45,140
Speaker 2: self image in terms of I am the best thug around.

943
01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:49,860
Speaker 2: I'm very serious. In other words, that that's an accomplishment.

944
01:02:51,820 --> 01:02:57,060
Speaker 2: The guys who run these super cocaine things in Colombia

945
01:02:57,460 --> 01:03:02,260
Speaker 2: may very well have good self images, and this is important.

946
01:03:03,460 --> 01:03:06,540
Speaker 2: Some good people may not have such good self images,

947
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:11,620
Speaker 2: just in an interview with people who wrote the book

948
01:03:11,660 --> 01:03:13,979
Speaker 2: on the Rescuers of Jews in the Holocaust, the most

949
01:03:14,060 --> 01:03:17,140
Speaker 2: elaborate study ever made, and they found that there was

950
01:03:17,220 --> 01:03:20,260
Speaker 2: no correlation between self image and likelihood to be a

951
01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:23,500
Speaker 2: rescue which I felt very vindicated on because I have

952
01:03:23,540 --> 01:03:28,979
Speaker 2: always thought that this was extraordinarily over blown, this California

953
01:03:29,060 --> 01:03:33,060
Speaker 2: tendency to constantly speak of self image self image. I

954
01:03:33,060 --> 01:03:36,380
Speaker 2: think self image is important for happiness. I don't think

955
01:03:36,380 --> 01:03:40,980
Speaker 2: self image is important with regards to moral behavior. Okay,

956
01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:45,580
Speaker 2: and the two were not always related, but I believe

957
01:03:46,060 --> 01:03:50,499
Speaker 2: that in terms of liking yourself, the good like themselves more.

958
01:03:52,060 --> 01:03:56,900
Speaker 2: You look in the mirror and you're proud I didn't

959
01:03:56,940 --> 01:03:58,459
Speaker 2: give in. I didn't give in.

960
01:03:58,540 --> 01:04:00,780
Speaker 3: I didn't cheat on that thing, even though I could have,

961
01:04:00,860 --> 01:04:01,419
Speaker 3: and so on.

962
01:04:02,740 --> 01:04:07,860
Speaker 2: You start to gradually build up self admiration. I have

963
01:04:07,940 --> 01:04:10,100
Speaker 2: to give a personal example, even though I hate to,

964
01:04:11,020 --> 01:04:13,020
Speaker 2: I really do hate to, but I have no choice

965
01:04:13,300 --> 01:04:18,460
Speaker 2: in such a course. I started an anti cheating campaign

966
01:04:18,460 --> 01:04:23,340
Speaker 2: in high school. I didn't I stopped cheating on tests

967
01:04:24,140 --> 01:04:28,939
Speaker 2: very early in my freshman year. I had, like a

968
01:04:28,940 --> 01:04:31,060
Speaker 2: lot of other kids in the eighth grade, and in

969
01:04:31,140 --> 01:04:33,140
Speaker 2: the beginning of the ninth, and then I just stopped

970
01:04:33,180 --> 01:04:37,780
Speaker 2: and I never returned to it, and it was very interesting.

971
01:04:37,860 --> 01:04:41,100
Speaker 2: I recall it like it's yesterday. While I thought it

972
01:04:41,140 --> 01:04:44,140
Speaker 2: was unethical, and still do and argue against more on

973
01:04:44,220 --> 01:04:49,900
Speaker 2: moral grounds. I remember the single most important image that

974
01:04:49,980 --> 01:04:54,979
Speaker 2: I had about cheating was a very strong destructiveness of

975
01:04:54,980 --> 01:04:58,300
Speaker 2: my own self worth. I felt like I was groveling

976
01:04:59,140 --> 01:05:03,780
Speaker 2: and my own sense of dignity was violated by cheating

977
01:05:03,820 --> 01:05:07,580
Speaker 2: on a test, and so I actually felt better about

978
01:05:07,580 --> 01:05:11,020
Speaker 2: myself getting lower grades than the kids who got higher

979
01:05:11,060 --> 01:05:14,300
Speaker 2: grades and cheated a few points. I know that for

980
01:05:14,340 --> 01:05:16,860
Speaker 2: a fact. I remember it. It is true. It has

981
01:05:16,900 --> 01:05:20,220
Speaker 2: stayed with me as a very powerful example. And I

982
01:05:20,260 --> 01:05:24,220
Speaker 2: hold that to be true about anyone who withstands the

983
01:05:24,380 --> 01:05:30,700
Speaker 2: pressures of the market or whatever to be dishonest. That

984
01:05:30,740 --> 01:05:35,540
Speaker 2: the sense of self worth is very is very much enhanced,

985
01:05:36,060 --> 01:05:38,060
Speaker 2: a sense of I just don't give in, and when

986
01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:41,580
Speaker 2: you look at yourself, you like yourself better. I think

987
01:05:41,580 --> 01:05:45,460
Speaker 2: that these are important traits with regard to goodness. Third,

988
01:05:46,300 --> 01:05:50,860
Speaker 2: the third reward of goodness is the act itself. Acts

989
01:05:50,900 --> 01:05:55,260
Speaker 2: of loving kindness make you happier. It is one of

990
01:05:55,300 --> 01:06:00,220
Speaker 2: my arguments this is totally tangential for God's existence, that

991
01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:07,900
Speaker 2: God created a world wherein goodness is its own emotional reward.

992
01:06:07,900 --> 01:06:10,380
Speaker 2: But it is, and you will know that. You will

993
01:06:10,460 --> 01:06:13,220
Speaker 2: know that if you if you know, you know what.

994
01:06:13,260 --> 01:06:20,140
Speaker 2: The difference between selfish fun and goodness is. Everything is inverted.

995
01:06:20,780 --> 01:06:24,900
Speaker 2: We look tremendously forward to fun, have it, and don't

996
01:06:24,900 --> 01:06:29,340
Speaker 2: feel any better about ourselves. We never look forward to

997
01:06:29,500 --> 01:06:34,860
Speaker 2: acts of selflessness. Then do it and feel terrific. Who

998
01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:37,260
Speaker 2: gets up in the morning and says, oh, on another

999
01:06:37,380 --> 01:06:41,300
Speaker 2: day to go to the nursing home and visit the

1000
01:06:41,380 --> 01:06:45,900
Speaker 2: elderly or whatever it might be. Gee, God, what I

1001
01:06:46,020 --> 01:06:51,260
Speaker 2: love today to volunteer for a local charity. Of course not.

1002
01:06:51,380 --> 01:06:52,900
Speaker 2: You get up and you want a shop, or you

1003
01:06:52,940 --> 01:06:54,820
Speaker 2: get up and you want to go to a ballgame

1004
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:59,500
Speaker 2: or watch TV, and so on. Everything militates against doing good,

1005
01:06:59,780 --> 01:07:03,780
Speaker 2: except that when you've done it you feel terrific. You

1006
01:07:03,860 --> 01:07:07,580
Speaker 2: also feel a drop self righteous because you look at

1007
01:07:07,580 --> 01:07:09,499
Speaker 2: all the people who didn't do it that day and say,

1008
01:07:09,820 --> 01:07:11,459
Speaker 2: look at the scum of the earth. They're all on

1009
01:07:11,460 --> 01:07:13,860
Speaker 2: a freeway with me. They should all clear a path

1010
01:07:14,020 --> 01:07:18,300
Speaker 2: for Saint Dennis as he drives down. Which is okay,

1011
01:07:18,340 --> 01:07:20,820
Speaker 2: it's Okay, you should feel that you've done that. Better

1012
01:07:20,940 --> 01:07:23,660
Speaker 2: you have, there's no reason not to. You can't wear

1013
01:07:23,660 --> 01:07:28,700
Speaker 2: it on your sleeves. But it is appropriate that this

1014
01:07:28,820 --> 01:07:32,459
Speaker 2: is not cultivated in our times. Is so sad to

1015
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:36,420
Speaker 2: me that people don't know how doing good for others.

1016
01:07:37,540 --> 01:07:39,499
Speaker 2: You know the trouble. As I told you, the thing

1017
01:07:39,540 --> 01:07:41,380
Speaker 2: I most wanted to avoid in this class and in

1018
01:07:41,420 --> 01:07:45,100
Speaker 2: the book are cliches. But here comes one. Giving is

1019
01:07:45,180 --> 01:07:47,540
Speaker 2: better than receiving. I hate that. I feel like a

1020
01:07:47,660 --> 01:07:53,620
Speaker 2: jerk saying it, but the act of giving is a

1021
01:07:53,700 --> 01:07:59,780
Speaker 2: tremendously is a tremendous receiver for the giver. That is

1022
01:07:59,820 --> 01:08:02,380
Speaker 2: why talking again, I'm glad you asked me this because

1023
01:08:02,380 --> 01:08:04,100
Speaker 2: I have so many of these things. It is good

1024
01:08:04,140 --> 01:08:07,580
Speaker 2: to take kids to do acts of goodness, let them

1025
01:08:07,740 --> 01:08:13,100
Speaker 2: feel the good feeling that comes with it. Our daughter's

1026
01:08:13,420 --> 01:08:15,700
Speaker 2: school went to visit, well was it a nursing home.

1027
01:08:16,460 --> 01:08:21,140
Speaker 2: Went to a nursing home, and these kids who are

1028
01:08:21,420 --> 01:08:26,580
Speaker 2: absolutely normal thirteen year old you know, heavy metal lovers

1029
01:08:26,580 --> 01:08:31,740
Speaker 2: and rock music lovers and sports lovers and hormone lovers.

1030
01:08:33,180 --> 01:08:36,140
Speaker 2: If you had told them, isn't it great? Today? Your

1031
01:08:36,300 --> 01:08:38,900
Speaker 2: kids are going to go to a nursing home. You

1032
01:08:38,900 --> 01:08:43,059
Speaker 2: can only imagine their reaction. And our daughter, and I

1033
01:08:43,099 --> 01:08:46,259
Speaker 2: suspect many of the others, she was on a high

1034
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:51,979
Speaker 2: when she returned. But it is literally not something that

1035
01:08:52,059 --> 01:08:54,660
Speaker 2: you can ever convince a person of you'll feel great

1036
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:58,019
Speaker 2: if you do good. It sounds so like a bill

1037
01:08:58,099 --> 01:09:00,380
Speaker 2: of sale. You know, a billy goods that you're trying

1038
01:09:00,420 --> 01:09:08,139
Speaker 2: to sell. People don't know it. Therefore, to summarize, a

1039
01:09:08,220 --> 01:09:12,540
Speaker 2: good case could be made for goodness in terms of

1040
01:09:12,580 --> 01:09:17,099
Speaker 2: being a happier human being. People who devote their lives

1041
01:09:17,140 --> 01:09:21,219
Speaker 2: to this as opposed to given moments, have a deep,

1042
01:09:21,580 --> 01:09:25,900
Speaker 2: deep sense of inner peace, a deep sense of satisfaction.

1043
01:09:26,540 --> 01:09:28,380
Speaker 3: Can they have something.

1044
01:09:28,019 --> 01:09:30,660
Speaker 2: That I will talk about at length or not at length,

1045
01:09:30,740 --> 01:09:36,019
Speaker 2: but more lengthily later they stay, will be able to

1046
01:09:36,300 --> 01:09:39,420
Speaker 2: look forward to dying and saying that they made a

1047
01:09:39,420 --> 01:09:44,860
Speaker 2: difference that to me. And this is going to be

1048
01:09:45,059 --> 01:09:48,860
Speaker 2: next week starts part two of this eight weeks and

1049
01:09:48,900 --> 01:09:51,059
Speaker 2: it's going to be very heavy. I hope you will

1050
01:09:51,099 --> 01:09:54,099
Speaker 2: be able to attend because it is going to be

1051
01:09:54,180 --> 01:09:59,340
Speaker 2: about the pursuit of meaning, which is the great indispensable

1052
01:09:59,340 --> 01:10:02,900
Speaker 2: element to happiness. But the ability to be able to

1053
01:10:02,939 --> 01:10:07,740
Speaker 2: say that I know that if I died tomorrow, I

1054
01:10:07,820 --> 01:10:11,820
Speaker 2: know that I could say that I have done something.

1055
01:10:12,740 --> 01:10:15,260
Speaker 2: And in this regard my final words for today, and

1056
01:10:15,260 --> 01:10:17,580
Speaker 2: then I'll open up for questions if you have any.

1057
01:10:18,900 --> 01:10:24,059
Speaker 2: There's a terrible, terrible happen again on the phone on

1058
01:10:24,540 --> 01:10:28,219
Speaker 2: my radio show. There's a terrible tendency of a lot

1059
01:10:28,220 --> 01:10:30,780
Speaker 2: of people to think if they don't make a difference macro,

1060
01:10:31,460 --> 01:10:34,860
Speaker 2: and they only do an individual's life, it's not such

1061
01:10:34,900 --> 01:10:40,620
Speaker 2: a big deal, folks. The quicker you disabuse yourself of

1062
01:10:40,660 --> 01:10:43,740
Speaker 2: that thinking, the better you will be, and the better

1063
01:10:43,780 --> 01:10:44,580
Speaker 2: the world will be.

1064
01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:49,900
Speaker 3: Gorbachev is making a big difference Macro.

1065
01:10:51,300 --> 01:10:53,900
Speaker 2: The most of you don't have a chance to be

1066
01:10:53,979 --> 01:10:56,820
Speaker 2: the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet

1067
01:10:56,939 --> 01:11:02,660
Speaker 2: Union during totalitarian times, Okay, it is just off limits.

1068
01:11:04,019 --> 01:11:10,380
Speaker 2: Literally literally. If the most wonderful American became president of

1069
01:11:10,420 --> 01:11:12,220
Speaker 2: the United States, even.

1070
01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:14,780
Speaker 3: He or she would not have much of an impact.

1071
01:11:16,300 --> 01:11:21,820
Speaker 2: Impacts are available overwhelmingly when there is major evil, a major,

1072
01:11:22,059 --> 01:11:25,099
Speaker 2: powerful figure is there in a leadership.

1073
01:11:24,580 --> 01:11:26,420
Speaker 3: And powerful position to confront it.

1074
01:11:27,260 --> 01:11:32,500
Speaker 2: Otherwise it is not possible. Churchill is great because of Nazism,

1075
01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:38,059
Speaker 2: Lincoln is great because of slavery, Martin Luther King is

1076
01:11:38,099 --> 01:11:44,100
Speaker 2: great because of discrimination. Greatness on the macro level occurs

1077
01:11:44,380 --> 01:11:48,300
Speaker 2: only when there is massive evil to conquer and you

1078
01:11:48,380 --> 01:11:50,900
Speaker 2: are in the position to do it. It is open

1079
01:11:50,979 --> 01:11:56,380
Speaker 2: to about two people a century. Some centuries had no openings,

1080
01:11:57,260 --> 01:12:01,100
Speaker 2: and I hope, incidentally, that the next century has no openings.

1081
01:12:01,340 --> 01:12:04,860
Speaker 2: I hope all major evils are done, and in that case,

1082
01:12:05,340 --> 01:12:10,660
Speaker 2: no one will become this momentous macro achiever. The rest

1083
01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:15,700
Speaker 2: of us will effect two ten, maybe twenty, maybe ten thousand.

1084
01:12:16,260 --> 01:12:23,780
Speaker 2: But the world has six billion. People are signied from

1085
01:12:23,820 --> 01:12:27,059
Speaker 2: doing good because they don't think that what they do

1086
01:12:27,099 --> 01:12:30,059
Speaker 2: will mount to a hill of beans. It is one

1087
01:12:30,059 --> 01:12:33,179
Speaker 2: of the big obstacles to many people's doing good.

1088
01:12:34,420 --> 01:12:37,939
Speaker 3: So I'll help one old lady in a nursing home.

1089
01:12:38,620 --> 01:12:44,820
Speaker 2: Big deal. It's the biggest deal in the world because

1090
01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:49,139
Speaker 2: to that lady, she is the most important thing on earth.

1091
01:12:51,099 --> 01:12:52,580
Speaker 2: You can't save Romania.

1092
01:12:53,939 --> 01:12:55,979
Speaker 3: You're not called upon to save Romania.

1093
01:12:57,220 --> 01:13:01,019
Speaker 2: By the way, this was taught to me too. Dear

1094
01:13:01,099 --> 01:13:04,540
Speaker 2: dear friend who's a Roman Catholic priest, I've been bugging

1095
01:13:04,620 --> 01:13:09,740
Speaker 2: him for years to try to be a cardinal. I've

1096
01:13:09,780 --> 01:13:13,939
Speaker 2: been I did we know each other about six years.

1097
01:13:13,939 --> 01:13:17,019
Speaker 2: For the first three years, I would aggravate him. I'd go,

1098
01:13:17,140 --> 01:13:21,220
Speaker 2: come on, you're so bright, you're so charismatic, you're so wonderful.

1099
01:13:21,620 --> 01:13:25,620
Speaker 2: Why the hell are you a parish priest or a

1100
01:13:25,700 --> 01:13:28,900
Speaker 2: high school principle. You should be out there, you should

1101
01:13:28,939 --> 01:13:33,460
Speaker 2: be an archbishop. And he would look at me and say,

1102
01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:37,300
Speaker 2: you know, I don't want to be an archbishop. I

1103
01:13:37,340 --> 01:13:39,500
Speaker 2: don't want to be a cardinal. They don't get to

1104
01:13:39,540 --> 01:13:43,700
Speaker 2: meet anybody. They get to sit behind huge desks in

1105
01:13:43,820 --> 01:13:48,100
Speaker 2: big chanceeries and sign big papers and make big speeches.

1106
01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:56,780
Speaker 2: I get to visit people in hospitals. He's right, That's

1107
01:13:56,900 --> 01:14:03,179
Speaker 2: what people have to learn. That is this idea of

1108
01:14:03,220 --> 01:14:07,300
Speaker 2: if I'm not moving mountains to hell with hills is

1109
01:14:07,340 --> 01:14:14,220
Speaker 2: a horrible, horrible notion. Mountains are movable under rare, the

1110
01:14:14,380 --> 01:14:18,780
Speaker 2: rarest of circumstances, and they just have to fall into

1111
01:14:18,820 --> 01:14:21,540
Speaker 2: your lap. And there have been no knocks. You wouldn't

1112
01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:31,780
Speaker 2: have ever heard of Winston Churchill. Therefore, forget this notion.

1113
01:14:32,380 --> 01:14:37,300
Speaker 2: You are not going to cure homelessness poverty aids tomorrow.

1114
01:14:38,740 --> 01:14:43,700
Speaker 2: But if you visit somebody regularly, you are doing an

1115
01:14:43,700 --> 01:14:47,860
Speaker 2: immense amount. And needless to say, if everybody did it,

1116
01:14:47,939 --> 01:14:52,260
Speaker 2: the world would be idyllic, the world would be paradise.

1117
01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:59,539
Speaker 2: Most people, you know, people raise issues about God and suffering.

1118
01:14:59,860 --> 01:15:04,620
Speaker 2: Yet I have done this repeatedly over a decade. I've

1119
01:15:04,660 --> 01:15:07,900
Speaker 2: asked audiences, raise your hand. I'm not doing it again.

1120
01:15:07,939 --> 01:15:10,540
Speaker 2: I'm just telling you their story. Raise your hand. I

1121
01:15:10,580 --> 01:15:13,660
Speaker 2: have said, if the vast majority of your pay there

1122
01:15:13,660 --> 01:15:17,019
Speaker 2: are two types of pain that we can suffer, man

1123
01:15:17,059 --> 01:15:23,059
Speaker 2: made and natural, right, there's no third type. Raise your hand.

1124
01:15:23,099 --> 01:15:25,540
Speaker 2: If the vast majority of the pain in your life

1125
01:15:25,580 --> 01:15:29,939
Speaker 2: has been induced by people, and overwhelmingly most people, raise

1126
01:15:29,979 --> 01:15:39,460
Speaker 2: their hands. Not by God, not by cancer, not by earthquakes,

1127
01:15:40,019 --> 01:15:45,620
Speaker 2: by people, and the good in your life, Excuse me,

1128
01:15:45,740 --> 01:15:47,460
Speaker 2: it's not from pipe smoking, its allergies.

1129
01:15:52,300 --> 01:15:55,019
Speaker 3: The good in your life has come from people too.

1130
01:15:58,019 --> 01:16:01,979
Speaker 2: We can make life for others a joy or a

1131
01:16:02,059 --> 01:16:10,979
Speaker 2: horror that is in human hands. So goodness done, even

1132
01:16:11,019 --> 01:16:17,219
Speaker 2: on the most micro level, is so immense in its

1133
01:16:17,300 --> 01:16:21,540
Speaker 2: ramifications for others' happiness and for yourselves that it cannot

1134
01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:24,620
Speaker 2: be understated, cannot be overstated. Excuse me.

1135
01:16:25,820 --> 01:16:28,780
Speaker 3: I'll end with this, and we won't have time for questions.

1136
01:16:28,820 --> 01:16:33,099
Speaker 2: I'll end with this. I asked on my first year

1137
01:16:33,180 --> 01:16:35,299
Speaker 2: that I did my show on religion on the line,

1138
01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:45,459
Speaker 2: I asked the priest minister Rabbi career heroes. They named Moses, Jesus,

1139
01:16:46,460 --> 01:16:51,820
Speaker 2: Saint Paul, Monodes, etcetera, etcetera. Which is fine, and these

1140
01:16:51,820 --> 01:16:57,620
Speaker 2: are heroic Raoul Wallenberg, and they're great. I mean, there's

1141
01:16:57,660 --> 01:17:00,820
Speaker 2: I'm I'm not arguing with those choices. When it came

1142
01:17:00,860 --> 01:17:05,019
Speaker 2: to my time, I answered the question too. I had

1143
01:17:05,019 --> 01:17:05,660
Speaker 2: not planned to.

1144
01:17:05,620 --> 01:17:08,019
Speaker 4: Say this, but as I was listening to all their answers,

1145
01:17:08,059 --> 01:17:12,499
Speaker 4: I was starting to realize there's something missing, and I said, finally,

1146
01:17:13,900 --> 01:17:17,300
Speaker 4: people who my heroes are people who generally.

1147
01:17:16,860 --> 01:17:22,540
Speaker 2: Observe the law, lead a good life, decent children, go

1148
01:17:22,580 --> 01:17:26,540
Speaker 2: to work, and pay their taxes. Honestly, they really are

1149
01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:30,300
Speaker 2: my heroes. It is very hard to do that. It

1150
01:17:30,380 --> 01:17:32,939
Speaker 2: is in some ways much easier to do a macro

1151
01:17:33,099 --> 01:17:37,700
Speaker 2: great thing than be faithful each day to your spouse,

1152
01:17:38,460 --> 01:17:41,860
Speaker 2: be a conscientious spouse, be a good parent, be a

1153
01:17:41,860 --> 01:17:45,380
Speaker 2: good friend to your friends, give a shoulder to a

1154
01:17:45,380 --> 01:17:49,460
Speaker 2: friend who has a tear. That's tough stuff. Nobody writes

1155
01:17:49,500 --> 01:17:53,780
Speaker 2: it up. And in America, the great reward is notoriety,

1156
01:17:54,620 --> 01:17:59,580
Speaker 2: to be known. This is nirvana. To an American. That's

1157
01:17:59,580 --> 01:18:03,820
Speaker 2: what the Gun Show was. The purpose was to be

1158
01:18:03,939 --> 01:18:08,660
Speaker 2: known for making a fool of yourself. The entire purpose

1159
01:18:08,820 --> 01:18:12,979
Speaker 2: was to be foolish. Why because it is much better

1160
01:18:13,620 --> 01:18:16,820
Speaker 2: to waste your life and be known than to lead

1161
01:18:16,860 --> 01:18:20,380
Speaker 2: a beautiful life and not be known. That is what

1162
01:18:20,740 --> 01:18:25,379
Speaker 2: happened to too many Americans. And it's trickled down to kids. Gallah.

1163
01:18:25,460 --> 01:18:27,939
Speaker 2: Kids say today what they want to be. I wouldn't

1164
01:18:27,979 --> 01:18:31,220
Speaker 2: mind if they said rich, but they say rich and famous.

1165
01:18:31,860 --> 01:18:35,660
Speaker 2: The famous bothers me much more than they're rich, because

1166
01:18:35,860 --> 01:18:39,339
Speaker 2: most people who will attain fame will not be doing

1167
01:18:39,380 --> 01:18:43,179
Speaker 2: it because they have been a mother Teresa, but will

1168
01:18:43,220 --> 01:18:46,220
Speaker 2: be doing it because of something analogous. More to the

1169
01:18:46,260 --> 01:18:50,100
Speaker 2: Gang Show. That's not a happy development in our society.

1170
01:18:51,180 --> 01:18:55,580
Speaker 2: Today's review talked about enjoying life. In the last part

1171
01:18:55,620 --> 01:19:01,700
Speaker 2: of that pursuit of depth and the pursuit of goodness,

1172
01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:06,540
Speaker 2: we begin the last four weeks with the chief criteria

1173
01:19:06,660 --> 01:19:11,180
Speaker 2: for becoming a happier human being in totally different directions.

1174
01:19:11,340 --> 01:19:12,500
Speaker 2: All right, I'll see you then.

1175
01:19:12,860 --> 01:19:17,140
Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Denispragger

1176
01:19:17,220 --> 01:19:20,500
Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours. If Dennis's lectures, course

1177
01:19:20,780 --> 01:19:25,419
Speaker 1: in Classic Radio Programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles,