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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Join us in celebrating an incredible milestone as the beloved

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Speaker 2: Jesus Calling brand reaches fifty million lives impacted. As we

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Speaker 2: honor the legacy of author Sarah Young, we reflect on

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Speaker 2: the stories from celebrities, pastors, authors, actors, singers, athletes, scholars,

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Speaker 2: and everyday people who have been inspired by her devotional writings.

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Speaker 2: To join in the celebration and to hear some of

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Speaker 2: the stories of people whose faith journeys have been impacted

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Speaker 2: by all the writings of Sarah Young, head over to

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Speaker 2: Jesus Calling dot com.

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Speaker 3: Fatherhood isn't about perfection.

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Speaker 4: It's about being present and about partnering with what God

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Speaker 4: is doing in the lives of those that He has

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Speaker 4: entrusted to you.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This Father's Day Week,

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Speaker 2: we hear from two men who's completely different experiences of

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Speaker 2: childhood and fatherhood. Let them to the same mission. Helping

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Speaker 2: dads show up with intention. Jeff Hamilton, pastor and author

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Speaker 2: of Dad Academy, grew up with the rare gift of

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Speaker 2: an engaged, present father. Today he's helping dads build stronger

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Speaker 2: relationships with their children through intentional parenting. Later in the episode,

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Speaker 2: we hear from Glenn Henry, known online as Belief in Fatherhood,

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Speaker 2: whose story couldn't be more different. A childhood marked by

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Speaker 2: feeling unwanted and unloved, and a young adulthood spent shifting

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Speaker 2: his identity just to feel accepted. It was becoming a

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Speaker 2: father himself that finally forced the inner work he'd avoided,

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Speaker 2: and how he learned the importance of fathering yourself. First,

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Speaker 2: let's start with Jeff's story.

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Speaker 1: How.

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Speaker 4: My name's Jeff Hamilton. I'm a pastor, I'm a husband.

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Speaker 4: I'm a dad to twenty nine and twenty seven year

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Speaker 4: old young adults, coach high school sports, and I have

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Speaker 4: a passion to how equip and encourage dads and been

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Speaker 4: doing this for about thirty thirty years. Our family grew

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Speaker 4: up on the central coast of California in a small

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Speaker 4: town where my dad was a pastor, and throughout all

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Speaker 4: of my life, even up until his passing four years ago,

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Speaker 4: I would say that my dad was my greatest cheerleader.

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Speaker 4: He was a great model and example of what a

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Speaker 4: dad should be. He was pretty engaged and involved in

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Speaker 4: my life. Our personal relationship was one that provided a

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Speaker 4: lot of advantages that many people today don't have, with

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Speaker 4: not only a father being present in the home, but

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Speaker 4: one who was engaged and invested into their children's well being.

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Speaker 4: And so I already started life with a little bit

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Speaker 4: of an advantage because of the relationship that I had

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Speaker 4: with my dad and the kind of loving and supportive

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Speaker 4: household that I grew up with. And my brother and

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Speaker 4: my sister and I today have continued on that tradition

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Speaker 4: of really healthy family cultures and tight knit relationships within

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Speaker 4: our individual families and our families together. I first started

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Speaker 4: getting involved with families when I started serving as a

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Speaker 4: youth pastor almost forty years ago.

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Speaker 3: You know, I learned a lot in those years because

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Speaker 3: parents were coming to me. I'm barely in.

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Speaker 4: My early twenties, and they're wanting insight about how to

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Speaker 4: connect with their teenage kids. But I'm watching families, some

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Speaker 4: that did some things really really well, and some that

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Speaker 4: unfortunately did not. And as my wife and I began

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Speaker 4: the process of having kids and raising kids, we again

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Speaker 4: we had an advantage because we both came from relatively

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Speaker 4: healthy families and good cultures. Because of our involvement in

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Speaker 4: pastoral ministry, we're invited into the lives and into the

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Speaker 4: inner workings of families, and we saw some things that

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Speaker 4: we wanted to implement. We took away some things from

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Speaker 4: our own families of what we wanted to do and

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Speaker 4: what we didn't want to do, and what we began

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Speaker 4: to discover is that really there's not a big playbook,

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Speaker 4: especially for men, about how to be the dad that

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Speaker 4: God's designed them and already equipped them to do. I

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Speaker 4: am an executive coach and a business consultant with my

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Speaker 4: background in organizational leadership, and I thought maybe if we

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Speaker 4: could help dads. I'm thoroughly convinced that men are most

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Speaker 4: successful when they know what's expected of them and they

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Speaker 4: have a plan to accomplish it. So some of the

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Speaker 4: things that I was doing and helping to coach and

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Speaker 4: encourage businesses and leaders, I thought, what if I could

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Speaker 4: put this into a process where dads could actually discover

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Speaker 4: who it is that God's made them to be, their

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Speaker 4: skills and gifts and abilities, and help them become intentional

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Speaker 4: about being the best dad that they can. So after

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Speaker 4: my kids graduated from high school, we developed a small

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Speaker 4: group just to get men together talking about the most

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Speaker 4: important thing in their life, which is about being a dad.

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Speaker 4: It connects to their purpose, it connects to their identity.

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Speaker 4: And when we found that dads had a little bit

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Speaker 4: of confidence about knowing what they could do to impact

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Speaker 4: their family for good and begin to build a legacy,

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Speaker 4: we started to see.

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Speaker 3: Some great fruit from that.

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Speaker 4: You know, there's a lot of challenges that parents are

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Speaker 4: facing today, a lot of demands that really are journal

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Speaker 4: that want to impose on the shaping of our family

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Speaker 4: and the discipling of our children. One of the most

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Speaker 4: wonderful parts of childhood is their innocence, right, and that

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Speaker 4: innocence just kind of disappears as they continue to grow.

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Speaker 4: And I think that a dad's job is we can't

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Speaker 4: stop it, but we can definitely make sure that it

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Speaker 4: happens at a pace that is appropriate for whatever stage

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Speaker 4: that they're in. We also think that we need to

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Speaker 4: affirm their identity throughout their lives. Kids are going to

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Speaker 4: be kind of self conscious as they start to compare

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Speaker 4: themselves to the environment or to the relationships that are

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Speaker 4: around them. But our job is not to let their

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Speaker 4: self worth and value be influenced by an image of

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Speaker 4: what other people want them to be.

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Speaker 3: We want them to embrace who God has.

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Speaker 4: Designed them to be, to affirm them and to remind

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Speaker 4: them of their intrinsic worth and value.

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Speaker 3: And it happens because of the way that a dad

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Speaker 3: or a mom express their love for them, and I think.

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Speaker 4: We direct them to their p There's inherent greatness in

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Speaker 4: our kids and is our job as parents to nurture

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Speaker 4: it within them. I think the culture trains us in

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Speaker 4: the ways of consumerism and drawing attention to ourselves. I

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Speaker 4: don't mean to be one of those other people that

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Speaker 4: continue to rail against social media. I personally love social media,

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Speaker 4: but we know how destructive that can be and how

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Speaker 4: that creates a warped image of self if our life

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Speaker 4: is just about likes and follows, I think the greatest

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Speaker 4: thing that we can pass on to our kids is

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Speaker 4: the value for serving. And we find a sense of

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Speaker 4: significance by the value and benefit that we bring to others.

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Speaker 4: And so if parents can develop this kind of plan,

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Speaker 4: we have a strategy for being able to keep the

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Speaker 4: pressures of the culture and these external things that want

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Speaker 4: to hijack the raising of our children and really begin

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Speaker 4: to form them and shape them and release the image

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Speaker 4: of God that they've been created with. It's crazy to

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Speaker 4: think that there's not a lot of preparation, or of planning,

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Speaker 4: or of training that goes into being a parent.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's why so much.

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Speaker 4: Of parenting, especially fatherhood at best, is responsive, trying to

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Speaker 4: engage with the situations and circumstances as they present themselves.

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Speaker 4: I think on the backside that man, a lot of

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Speaker 4: dads are just reactive. We're just trying to stay up

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Speaker 4: because of the demands of work and the demands of

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Speaker 4: our marriage and of providing, and of also just the

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Speaker 4: journey that men are walking through themselves. And I think

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Speaker 4: that if we could help dads come up with a plan,

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Speaker 4: with a strategy for becoming the best parent that they

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Speaker 4: can be, then they'll find great success because the confidence

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Speaker 4: that you parent with is going to be something that

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Speaker 4: gets passed on to your kids and their sense of

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Speaker 4: self confidence and their sense of identity. In twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 4: I began to gather a group of dads together. Once

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Speaker 4: I felt that I had kind of successfully raised my

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Speaker 4: kids and got them graduated out of high school, I

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Speaker 4: wanted to pass on some of the lessons that I

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Speaker 4: had to some other dads who.

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Speaker 3: Might have been a little bit younger.

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Speaker 4: And even gathered a grandpa in our group to be

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Speaker 4: able to pass on some of his perspective that he

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Speaker 4: had to offer so that we can encourage dads to

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Speaker 4: kind of develop this plan for passing on their values

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Speaker 4: and their skills to their children. I really believe that

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Speaker 4: that's what a dad's mission is, to prepare their kids

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Speaker 4: for life by passing on their values and their skills

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Speaker 4: to their children. So we started this small group, and

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Speaker 4: then when COVID hit, when so many of us had

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Speaker 4: to become media producers, we actually filmed it and recorded

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Speaker 4: it and made a workbook to go along with it

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Speaker 4: that would resource groups such as church groups, or school

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Speaker 4: groups or neighborhood groups to be able to gather guys

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Speaker 4: around the topic of fatherhood. In Dad Academy, we help

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Speaker 4: every dad develop a personalized dad plan that helps them

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Speaker 4: to define what their values are, what are the life

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Speaker 4: skills that you pass on to your children. I don't

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Speaker 4: think we realize that everything we know how to do,

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Speaker 4: someone has actually taught us, from tying our shoes to

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Speaker 4: driving a car, even practical things. Whatever you know how

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Speaker 4: to do as a dad, you need to make sure

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Speaker 4: that your kids have those skills as well, but I

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Speaker 4: think one of the other important things is understanding your

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Speaker 4: family's values and your culture. You know, the rituals and

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Speaker 4: traditions of your family are the things that give your

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Speaker 4: children a sense of identity and understanding of who they

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Speaker 4: are and the priorities that they need to establish in

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Speaker 4: the course of their lives. And then, as a part

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Speaker 4: of your dad plan comes with how you make every

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Speaker 4: moment memorable. The dad's participation in birthdays and anniversaries and

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Speaker 4: celebrations and commendations are one of the ways in which

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Speaker 4: it brings an extra level of significance. These memorable moments

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Speaker 4: help our kids understand when they move from one stage

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Speaker 4: to another, and it affirms who they are becoming and

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Speaker 4: the future and the destiny that's ahead for them. Like

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Speaker 4: any kind of plan in life, this requires continual evaluation

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Speaker 4: and modification because each kid, each stage that our kids

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Speaker 4: go through will require something different from us and will

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Speaker 4: require a different set of skills and values that.

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Speaker 5: We pass on to our kids. I'm so grateful for

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Speaker 5: Jesus calling. It's a great supplement because Jesus is calling you,

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Speaker 5: he wants to talk to you.

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Speaker 4: It has had such a huge impact. I've read it

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Speaker 4: numerous times. You know, the process of parenting can be

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Speaker 4: super stressful, and it's something that's not very easy at times,

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Speaker 4: can be tough and emotionally and physically spiritually taxing. But

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Speaker 4: I don't think that there's a secret sauce or a

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Speaker 4: special recipe.

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Speaker 3: That's just for parents. I think it's for people, and

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Speaker 3: I think it.

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Speaker 4: Is about reconnecting with the heavenly Father. Is a thing

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Speaker 4: that begins to refuel our tanks. I think that there

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Speaker 4: is something so important in spending time with God as

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Speaker 4: we remember that our heavenly Father cares for us. In fact,

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Speaker 4: I think back on the time when Jesus was baptized.

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Speaker 4: There's a voice from heaven. The scripture says, I said,

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Speaker 4: this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of people in our striving, in

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Speaker 4: our performing are always working to try to please God,

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Speaker 4: and we forget the fact that he's already pleased with us,

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Speaker 4: that we already have his favor, and if we will

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Speaker 4: come to him, there's a strengthening that begins to happen.

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Speaker 3: There's a perspective that we begin to gain.

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Speaker 5: There's a renewing of our identity and in an affirmation

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Speaker 5: of the things that we're giving our time and attention to.

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Speaker 5: And I don't think that there is any better thing,

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Speaker 5: not just for our parent to do, but for any

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Speaker 5: of our listeners today, to make sure that they spend

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Speaker 5: time with Jesus every day.

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Speaker 3: When we are with him, our strength is renewed, the

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Speaker 3: Scripture says, our hope is fortified.

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Speaker 4: The Scripture says that joy comes from being in His presence,

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Speaker 4: and the peace of God, the rule of God gets

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Speaker 4: re established in our hearts in the midst of all

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Speaker 4: of our chaos.

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Speaker 5: So parent or not, I think the most important thing

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Speaker 5: that somebody who knows God can do is to come

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Speaker 5: back to the one who loves.

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Speaker 3: Them, who believes in them, who's forming them, who's shaping them, and.

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Speaker 4: To see that kind of time invested produces the dividend

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Speaker 4: of the strength that we're going to need to continue

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Speaker 4: to navigate our lives with the resources of joy and

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Speaker 4: peace and hope and faith that's required for us to

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Speaker 4: be able to continue to navigate every day.

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Speaker 2: To learn more about Jeff Hamilton, visit academy dot info

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Speaker 2: and be sure to check out his new book, Dad

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Speaker 2: Academy Raising courageous, capable, and confident kids at your favorite retailer.

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Speaker 2: Stay tuned to Glenn Henry's story after a brief message.

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Speaker 2: These uncertain times bring anxiety and fear, but Jesus Listens

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Speaker 2: Prayers for Every Season gives you daily prayers of comfort

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Speaker 2: with seasonally inspired illustrations. This beautiful book includes prayers that

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Speaker 2: speak to your situation, whether it's a time of stress

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Speaker 2: or strength. Look for Jesus Listens Prayers for Every Season

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Speaker 2: wherever you buy books. Our next guest is author Glenn Henry,

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Speaker 2: also known for his Belief in Fatherhood channel on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: Glenn opens up about his own painful childhood and how

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Speaker 2: becoming a father forced him to confront his inner child

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Speaker 2: and why the growth found in fatherhood is fought a

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Speaker 2: greater than most people expect.

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Speaker 6: My name is Glenn Henry, mostly known as Belief from

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Speaker 6: the YouTube channel Belief in Fatherhood. I have been a

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Speaker 6: father for about twelve years now, and I never knew

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Speaker 6: how great it was till I just dove headfirst in

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Speaker 6: the fatherhood and since then I've been trying to share

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Speaker 6: all the joys, the pains, the aches, the glory that

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Speaker 6: is a part of the journey of a father so

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Speaker 6: that other men can walk into it with realistic, yet

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Speaker 6: high expectations.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in a single parent home.

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Speaker 6: My mom was a single young parent who had a

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Speaker 6: temper and didn't have a lot of self control, and

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Speaker 6: so I think she loved me very much. But once

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Speaker 6: my little brother was born, I became the place where

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Speaker 6: she let out most of her anger, and that weighed

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Speaker 6: on me. I just felt very unwanted and not desired.

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Speaker 6: You know, there's something about belonging to a family I

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Speaker 6: didn't have that. I felt like I had to shift

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Speaker 6: who I was to be accepted in the home. I

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Speaker 6: had never really understood what it was like to be

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Speaker 6: a father. It was almost like warning signs on a freeway,

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Speaker 6: like you know it's about to end, but you don't

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Speaker 6: really know where the ramp is. They're like, you know, detour,

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Speaker 6: go this way. It just was so much work. So

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Speaker 6: once I was started to grow as a man by

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Speaker 6: having to apply the things that people were trying to

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Speaker 6: teach me my whole life, I recognized the true gift.

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Speaker 1: That fatherhood was. I never wanted to be a dad

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Speaker 1: until I.

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Speaker 6: Saw a proof of good fatherhood and what happens when

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Speaker 6: you become a father, you're actually confronted with your inner child.

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Speaker 6: You're faced with, man, why didn't my parents tell me this.

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Speaker 6: I'm a way better father to my children than I

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Speaker 6: am to myself. You don't know when that toxicity from

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Speaker 6: your childhood is going to spill all over your children's feet.

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Speaker 1: You don't know when it's coming.

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Speaker 6: And so instead of holding on to that for their

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Speaker 6: entire childhood, my thought is that you would father yourself

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Speaker 6: out of that and start to change your inner voice

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Speaker 6: so that you always speak to yourself as a father

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Speaker 6: that loves you just like.

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Speaker 1: You love your children.

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Speaker 6: We were doing the YouTube channel and everything was going great,

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Speaker 6: and we were making a lot of money, and we

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Speaker 6: were successful on paper, and I was getting all types

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Speaker 6: of looks from Oprah to Michelle Obama to all this

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Speaker 6: stuff was happening, and I felt like I was doing

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Speaker 6: a really amazing job. And I would walk into the

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Speaker 6: house and the kids would kind of get quiet. They'd

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Speaker 6: look at my hand to see if I had a

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Speaker 6: camera on it. They'd look around the room to see

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Speaker 6: if there was a camera running, and they were nervous,

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Speaker 6: like they couldn't control how they were being perceived, or

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Speaker 6: they didn't trust me, and that made me feel terrible.

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Speaker 6: It made me feel like I was a bad father

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Speaker 6: at some point. Most of the time when I was around,

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Speaker 6: you know, it was an opportunity, like for a small

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Speaker 6: season for a video, and I had to check myself

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Speaker 6: with that when my son came to me and was like, Yo,

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Speaker 6: I don't want to do this.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do the YouTube channel no more.

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Speaker 6: And so I had that was the conversation I have

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Speaker 6: with myself, like, man, are you really going to sacrifice

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Speaker 6: your kids trust for a paycheck? That was really hard

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Speaker 6: and that was a tough conversation because I had to

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Speaker 6: really be like, why are you so insecure? Why are

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Speaker 6: you so scared? Why are you so attached to success?

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Speaker 6: And for me, because of what happened in my life,

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Speaker 6: I had to actually mentor myself, father myself and say

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Speaker 6: how far are you willing to go? What price is

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Speaker 6: worth losing your relationship, losing your trust with your child?

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Speaker 6: And there's not a dollar amount that's worth that, And

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Speaker 6: so I just had to really communicate with myself and

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Speaker 6: allow myself to cry and weep about it and then

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Speaker 6: just pick myself up and just say Okay, well, we'll stop.

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Speaker 1: We'll stop doing a YouTube channel. We won't make videos

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Speaker 1: and only when you're comfortable. And I'm just lying. You

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Speaker 1: know what.

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Speaker 6: I'd rather be broke and homeless than to lose trust

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Speaker 6: with this child. Like I'd rather not have any money,

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Speaker 6: no opportunity, no Michelle Obama, no Oprah, no Tyler Perry, nothing.

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Speaker 6: I'd rather have nothing than to lose trust, because I

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Speaker 6: know what it's like not to trust your parent.

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Speaker 1: The way I have been.

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Speaker 6: Held as a father that I've never felt closer to

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Speaker 6: God than I have being a part of a family.

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Speaker 6: You're collaborating with God on a masterpiece.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 6: Allow God to comfort you in letting you know it's

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Speaker 6: going to be okay. There's things hidden in the relationship,

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Speaker 6: and if you allow it to teach you, you will

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Speaker 6: grow closer to God. I'll be reading a passage from Jesus.

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Speaker 6: Listens November fourth, my strong Deliverer. As I face the

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Speaker 6: circumstances of this day, I need to lean on you.

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Speaker 6: Everyone leans on something physical strength, intelligence, beauty, wealth, achievements, family, friends.

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Speaker 6: All of these are gifts from you, and I want

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Speaker 6: to enjoy your blessings gratefully. But I've learned that depending

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Speaker 6: on any of these things is risky. Every single one

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Speaker 6: of them can let me down. Instead of pretending that

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Speaker 6: I have it all together or that I'm stronger than

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Speaker 6: I really am, I can lean hard on you as

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Speaker 6: I do. You bear my burdens and show me how

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Speaker 6: to deal with my difficulties. I rejoice in you my strength,

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Speaker 6: and I sing praises to you, my loving God and

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Speaker 6: your splendid name, Jesus.

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Speaker 2: To learn more about Glenn Henry, find him on social

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Speaker 2: media and be sure to check out his new book,

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Speaker 2: Father Yourself First, Everything you need to become the father

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Speaker 2: your family deserves, Available at your favorite retailer. If you'd

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Speaker 2: like to hear more stories about fatherhood, check out our

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Speaker 2: interview with doctor Meg Meeker. Next time on the Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling podcast, we'll hear from doctor Michael Gillen, a Harvard

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Speaker 2: physicist and former ABC News Science editor whose lifelong motto

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Speaker 2: was seeing his believing until his own research convinced him otherwise.

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Speaker 3: Science has made it easier for me to believe in God,

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Speaker 3: not harder.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith

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Speaker 2: podcast on the Life Audio Network. Every week, we'll bring

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Speaker 2: you stories from people who share their journeys of faith

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Speaker 2: and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives.

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Speaker 2: Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or

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Speaker 2: wherever you listen to podcasts, and leave us a review

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Speaker 2: so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally,

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Speaker 2: you can find encouragement resources and more on the Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling website at Jesuscalling dot com