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Speaker 1: Life Audio. Thank you for listening to your daily prayer,

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Speaker 1: where we help you find the words you need to

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Speaker 1: connect to your Father in Heaven. No matter what's happening

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Speaker 1: in your life today, you can trust that God wants

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. Right after this short word from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors, we'll pray through today's prayer for when You're

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Speaker 1: Picked Last. A Prayer for when you Were Picked Last,

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Speaker 1: Written by Peyton Garland, read by Leah Gerard. Dan's troops

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Speaker 1: went last, marching behind to their banner and serving as

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Speaker 1: the rear guard for all the tribal camps. Numbers ten

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Speaker 1: twenty five. I was a scrawny, wire legged kid who

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Speaker 1: was never ever a top pick for games like dodgeball.

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Speaker 1: I had no strength, no agility, and no intimidation factor.

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Speaker 1: I brought little to the team outside of my unathletic

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Speaker 1: ability to turn sideways and hide between the larger kids

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Speaker 1: until I was one of the last ones remaining. It

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Speaker 1: was always a matter of survival, always retreating, always hiding,

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Speaker 1: and this soon became a subtle trend in my life.

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Speaker 1: By thirteen, I was unknowingly battling a debilitating mental disorder,

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Speaker 1: and with no support, guidance, or knowledge to explain my condition.

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Speaker 1: I learned to keep shackles around my heart and mind

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Speaker 1: and mouth. I discovered I didn't function like others. My

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Speaker 1: thoughts were far more anxious, and my room as were

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Speaker 1: too obsessive to dare mention to anyone. So I kept quiet.

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Speaker 1: I was more normal, seemingly likable, at least when people

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Speaker 1: didn't know my whole story. Thus I healed slowly, very slowly.

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Speaker 1: I was twenty five before a professional diagnosed me with

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Speaker 1: obsessive compulsive disorder. It felt as if I'd lost so

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Speaker 1: much time as a mere survivor of this disease. In truth,

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Speaker 1: it robbed me so much of my childhood and made

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Speaker 1: me weary of my faith. I had lots of head

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Speaker 1: and heart work to do now. I often think to myself,

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Speaker 1: I wonder who I'd be today if I'd received help

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Speaker 1: that I needed as a child, I would be over

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Speaker 1: a decade deep into healing, and I would be so

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Speaker 1: much more well. Fill in the blank with any example

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Speaker 1: of a healthier version of myself. My healing came at

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Speaker 1: the end of a life season meant for youthful bliss,

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Speaker 1: for wide open fearlessness. It's as if my healing came delayed,

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Speaker 1: as if God skipped over me while everyone else was

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Speaker 1: selected for supernatural answers and peace. In a way, I

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Speaker 1: felt emotionally, mentally, and spiritually robbed. Some days, I still

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Speaker 1: grieve this idea. After all, what could be the purpose

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Speaker 1: of such torture? Why should I unknowingly battle a crippling,

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Speaker 1: debilitating plague on the mind for years and years and years.

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Speaker 1: Why would God allow such a thing, especially for a

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Speaker 1: child who only longed to please him? But then I

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Speaker 1: consider this verse in numbers and how God had a

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Speaker 1: specific order that he designated for each tribe of Israel

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Speaker 1: to pack up and travel through the wilderness. There were

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Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of Israelites, so it's only natural we'd

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Speaker 1: assume being the twelfth and final tribe must have been

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Speaker 1: a bit miserable. But as usual, God's chosen order wasn't

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Speaker 1: by accident. In being chosen last, the tribe of Dan

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Speaker 1: was also selected to protect and defend the other eleven

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Speaker 1: tribes from any threats that could approach from behind. The

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Speaker 1: Tribe of Dan brought up the rear for a God

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Speaker 1: appointed reason. They weren't go last to preserve the whole nation.

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Speaker 1: They weren't picked to survive the waiting. They were picked

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Speaker 1: to become warriors of the blind and defenseless, often being

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Speaker 1: chosen last stings in a fallen world. This makes you

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Speaker 1: believe that you aren't talented enough, strong enough, pretty enough,

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Speaker 1: rich enough, worthy enough, Christian enough, et cetera. Yet God

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Speaker 1: never used our man made methods or our narrow ways

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Speaker 1: of thinking. As Christ says in Matthew twenty sixteen, so

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Speaker 1: the last shall be first and the first last. For

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Speaker 1: many be called, but few chosen. Hallelujah to a God

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Speaker 1: who isn't controlled or limited by our fickle thoughts and perceptions.

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Speaker 1: Praise the Lord who sees his children and chooses each

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Speaker 1: for a divine purpose, no matter the order our names

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Speaker 1: are called. May we rest in the sovereignty of a

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Speaker 1: God who is good and discover that we're often picked

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Speaker 1: last for a beautiful, divine reason. Let's pray God, thank

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Speaker 1: you for your majesty, power and wisdom. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: being a God who chooses sinners to establish and grow

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Speaker 1: your kingdom. Grant us the knowledge of your heart when

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Speaker 1: we want to question our life season or take things personally,

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Speaker 1: when we don't feel we're seen or chosen on time.

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Speaker 1: Grant us guide in waiting, and may we find joy

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Speaker 1: in the order you choose to work. May we trust

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Speaker 1: your supremacy and sovereignty. We love you, Father in your

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Speaker 1: Holy name. Amen. Your Daily Prayer is a production of

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Speaker 1: Life Audio and Salem Media. If you liked what you

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Speaker 1: heard today, be sure to follow our sister show your

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Speaker 1: nightly prayer. You can find your nightly prayer at lifeaudio

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Speaker 1: your daily prayer and your nightly prayer, you can be

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Speaker 1: sure that your day begins and ends centered on the

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Speaker 1: Word of God and prayer.