1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Life audio in today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 2 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: Folks, when you were dating the person that you married, 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 2: did you do everything possible if you wanted that person? 4 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 3: Obviously? 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 2: Did you do everything possible to win their love? Question 6 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 2: number two, why did you stop doing that? Well? 7 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 4: I think the answer is I think most people are 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 4: lazy and selfish, and you know, people just want to 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 4: do what they want to do. Marriage is extremely hard work. 10 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 4: When my wife and I first were married, we were 11 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 4: both extremely selfish, spoiled people, and we went to marriage 12 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 4: counseling on and off for eight years, sometimes twice a month, 13 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 4: sometimes once a month, and then it became more of 14 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 4: like a maintenance thing after five or six years. But 15 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 4: we've we've learned how to resolve conflict in a respectful way, 16 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 4: and we've become great partners out of it and great 17 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 4: friends out of it. We both take care of ourselves 18 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 4: and we do. We know, we keep their romance up there, 19 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 4: and it's you know, if you're just gonna be lazy 20 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,759 Speaker 4: and just that's right, you're going to be divorced. 21 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Welcome 22 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager here thousands of hours 23 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs. I had 24 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. Go to Dennisprager dot com. 25 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 3: I am old fashioned. 26 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: I like two sexes. 27 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 5: I don't know. 28 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 6: I think all of a sudden, I don't like being 29 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 6: married to one is known as a new woman. 30 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 2: I want a wife, not a competitor. 31 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: Competitor, competitor, talk about a bit, this crying in the 32 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: morning thing. 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 3: It's depression, you know. Let's getting that fixed. 34 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 7: That's what men think, isn't it. 35 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 6: Well unless you've got the answer, unless you can say, oh, 36 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 6: I know. 37 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 8: This bloke and use ex ruad to fix that, and 38 00:01:58,840 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 8: there's no point bothering. 39 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 3: How do you write women so well? 40 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 8: I think of a man and I take away reason 41 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 8: and accountability. 42 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 9: I love him, I love him and I don't care 43 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 9: what you think. 44 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 5: I love him for the man he wants to be, 45 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 5: and I love him for the man that he almost is. 46 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 4: What do people have rowse about him? 47 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 3: Money? 48 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 2: Sex, sex, money he wants, she doesn't want. 49 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 3: She wants, he doesn't want women. 50 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 6: I've always been a big problem to me, Doctor Fusspenden, 51 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 6: are you listening doctor. 52 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, go on gone. 53 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 2: Every week I enjoy that opening as much as the 54 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 2: previous week. I salute my producer. Welcome to the Male 55 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 2: Female Hour on the Dennis Prager Show, an hour each 56 00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 2: week unimpeded by politics and world events, about the most 57 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 2: important relationship for most people, the relationship with the other sex, 58 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 2: and today is one of these hopefully life changing subjects 59 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 2: for men and women. There are times, by the way, 60 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 2: that I say to you that the following is not 61 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 2: for little kids. 62 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 3: This is fine. 63 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: The topic today is in fact, I'd like little kids 64 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 2: to hear this, let them record in their minds to 65 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 2: what I am saying, and hopefully apply it in their lives. 66 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 2: And this may trouble some of you. And by the way, 67 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 2: I don't think I've had a male female topic that 68 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: has not troubled some people, And of course that's not 69 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 2: my design, but it is inevitable because it's a very 70 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 2: painful and sensitive area of life, and if you have 71 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 2: something important to say, it's going to it's going to 72 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 2: be the sort of thing like when we apply certain 73 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 2: antiseptics to an infection to a wound, it burns. But 74 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 2: that's what helps folks when you were dating the person 75 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 2: that you married, did you do everything possible if you 76 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: wanted that person? 77 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 3: Obviously? 78 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 2: Did you do everything possible to win their love? It's 79 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 2: a rhetorical question. The answer is yes, you acted nicely, 80 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 2: you were kind, you looked your best, just to give 81 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 2: three examples. Why because you knew if you didn't work 82 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 2: on all those things plus more, then you wouldn't win 83 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 2: that person whom you wanted to be your husband or 84 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 2: your wife. Question question number two. Rhetorical question number two 85 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 2: for that matter, why did you stop doing that once 86 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 2: you were married? Letting you think about it, that's the 87 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: reason for the silence. Why do people stop trying to 88 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 2: win over the affection of the person they married. It's 89 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 2: almost as if a team scores a touchdown and then 90 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 2: stops playing. It was all in order to or they 91 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 2: win one game and then they decide not to try 92 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: hard because they only needed to win that one game. 93 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 2: But a team has to try hard continually. There's no 94 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: end to its attempts. Even if you win. In football, 95 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: let's say you win the Super Bowl, you still have 96 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 2: to come back next year and try again. You have 97 00:05:53,960 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 2: to do everything and probably a little better. Is it 98 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 2: that people stop trying to win the affection of the 99 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 2: person that they marry once they married. Well, there are 100 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 2: many answers to that, and that's the subject of today's 101 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 2: Male Female Hour. Why do people stop trying to win 102 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 2: the affection, Well, the biggest single reason is they're foolish. 103 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: It's a foolish decision. Very smart people could make foolish decisions. 104 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 2: That's true for all of us, including myself. It doesn't 105 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 2: mean you're a fool, it means that that decision is foolish. 106 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 2: That's the primary reason. People aren't aware of the fact 107 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 2: that winning the person's affection doesn't end at the wedding. 108 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 2: But that is true for vast numbers of men and women. Okay, 109 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 2: I won the person I wanted, Now I can rest. 110 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: It's effortful. It's effortful to try to win over another 111 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: human being's affection. It's effortful to smell right, look right, 112 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: dress right, talk right, act kind, act attentive, act caring. Boy, 113 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 2: that's a lot of effort. And I would argue to 114 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 2: you that if every husband and every wife continued with 115 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 2: that effort throughout their marriage, that we would have so 116 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 2: many more happy marriages that we would know what to 117 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 2: do with ourselves. But there is in people, and I 118 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 2: don't know if it's more men or more women. I 119 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 2: have no clue, frankly, and I would have no hesitation 120 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: in saying that it's a problem that afflicts more men 121 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 2: or more women. I just don't know. It may really 122 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 2: be fifty to fifty. I suspect it's fifty to fifty, 123 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 2: but I don't know. One eighth prager seven is the 124 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 2: number here. Why do people stop? Well, they make a 125 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 2: foolish decision, But why do they make Why do smart 126 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 2: people make foolish decisions? That's the real question. To say 127 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 2: that it's a foolish decision and that's the reason is true, 128 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 2: but hardly illuminating. So let's try to illuminate why do 129 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 2: smart people, men and women make a foolish decision? Well, 130 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 2: for one thing, there is this romantic notion that once 131 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 2: we are married, I have you and. 132 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 3: We offer each other. 133 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 2: And I don't want to get onto the subject of 134 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: unconditional love, even though that's related here. But it's unconditional now. 135 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 2: I have him now, and I don't have to work 136 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 2: on myself nearly as hard. I have her now. I 137 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 2: don't have to be nearly as attentive as I was 138 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 2: when we were dating. I would argue to you folks 139 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 2: that you should date your your spouse for the rest 140 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 2: of your life. And if it sounds effortful, yes, I 141 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: hope it isn't that effortful. I hope it's more natural. 142 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 2: By the way, over the course of time, it becomes 143 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 2: more natural. People let themselves go after they're married. Could 144 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 2: be after a year, after five years, after ten, after fifteen, 145 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 2: after twenty, they let themselves go. In other words, inertia 146 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 2: sets in. But it's interesting because if they had to 147 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 2: date again, if let's say their spouse died and they 148 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,719 Speaker 2: had to date again, assuming they wanted to remarry, they 149 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 2: wouldn't act the same way they did when they were married. 150 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 2: I'm talking about everybody, but those who did, in fact 151 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 2: take their spouse for granted. That's what I'm talking about, 152 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 2: never for a moment to take your spouse's affection for granted. 153 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 2: That's by the way, I mean, this is a talk 154 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 2: we should have you and I on another male female hour. 155 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 2: That's one of the reasons I do believe that divorce 156 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 2: should sometimes take place, or at least be on the books, 157 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 2: because the thought is not a good thing, and we 158 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 2: have it nowhere else in life. No matter how poorly 159 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: you behave, you can't be fired. There's nowhere else in 160 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 2: life where that would apply. Why would we apply that 161 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 2: to marriage? No matter how poorly you behave, you can't 162 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 2: get fired? Well, why is that? And isn't that in 163 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 2: many cases an invitation to poor behavior? What a prager? 164 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 2: Seven seven six. That's the issue here. People who get 165 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 2: married should be told this, it's permanent dating. Think of 166 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 2: it like that. I mean, and I'd like you to 167 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 2: give me examples because it would help sustain this the 168 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 2: validity of what I'm saying for people who may not 169 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 2: be clear, Give an example of where you or your 170 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 2: spouse have quote unquote let themselves go. Just stop stop 171 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 2: monitoring how they look or behave or or whatever. And 172 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,079 Speaker 2: you know, I mean, the one obvious example is where 173 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 2: women try to look so good to win a man over. 174 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 2: They know the importance of the physical and in men's lives, 175 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 2: it's it's unfair, not unfair. I'm not talking about what's fair. 176 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 2: I'm talking about what's real. And then and then it 177 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 2: doesn't matter he's got me or I should say I 178 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 2: got him now I don't have to look so good anymore. 179 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 3: He's stuck, he's in for life. 180 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 2: Or the guy who was attentive and then all of 181 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 2: a sudden spends his life in front of a television set. 182 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:04,599 Speaker 3: Well wait, wait, what happened to me? One A? 183 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 2: Praguer seven seven six The Male Female Hour. I will 184 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 2: take your calls when we come back. 185 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 186 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless Wisdom. 187 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, Dennis Praguer and this is the Male Female 188 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 2: Hour every week talking about male female relations. Today's topic 189 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 2: is why did you stop? If you did, I'm not 190 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 2: saying you did, but those of you who did, why 191 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 2: did you stop trying to win the affection of your 192 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 2: spouse when he or she became your spouse? The way 193 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 2: people want to look and act and talk and treat 194 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 2: the other before they're married, to win the person and over, 195 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 2: why does it stop? That's my argument here. It shouldn't 196 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 2: stop because you should never take the person for granted. 197 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 2: And as a sidebar, that is exactly why I think 198 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 2: that the at least divorce be an option utilized as 199 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,319 Speaker 2: only a last, last last resort when things are hopeless, 200 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 2: not when things are bad, but when things are hopeless. 201 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 2: We should talk about that too, by the way, the 202 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 2: very sensitive issue of divorce, but I think it should 203 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,319 Speaker 2: be on the books because it's a statement that we 204 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 2: should never assumes that we have tenure. One of the 205 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 2: problems at our universities is that is that professors can't 206 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 2: be fired after a certain period of time. Well, most people, 207 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 2: if they know they can't be fired, aren't going to 208 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 2: try to do as great a job and impress people 209 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 2: with their qualities quite as much. Right, all right, let's 210 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 2: go to New York's and Jimmy. Hello, Jimmy, Dennis Prager, 211 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 2: thank you for calling. 212 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 5: Hi, thanks to take of my call. 213 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 3: Mm hm. 214 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 5: I listened to your show quite regularly, and I don't 215 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 5: always agree with you. Today, you're spot on with a 216 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 5: lot of things you're saying. 217 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 3: Good. 218 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 5: I'm speaking from someone who is approaching a divorce at 219 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 5: this point in time. 220 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. 221 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 5: A couple of the things that I think you left 222 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 5: out that are very important, and and the adherence to 223 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 5: the fact that you you were mentioning there is really 224 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 5: really very important. I don't know if it's important to 225 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 5: females as it is to males as you you kind 226 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 5: of alluded to. Uh, And for some reason or other, 227 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 5: I think females find it difficult to understand. I think 228 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 5: that their theory is not only that they've caught the man, 229 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 5: but that if the man truly loves them, he'll accept 230 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 5: them for whoever they are, even though they did their best, 231 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 5: as you said, to attract them by looking their best initially. 232 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. 233 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 5: But the two things that I wanted to say that 234 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 5: you left out in a In a marriage, per se 235 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 5: one is number one, you get to know a person 236 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 5: more than you did when you were dating. So sometimes 237 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 5: you see things there that are not pleasing to you. 238 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 5: And oftentimes it's tough to broach that subject with the 239 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 5: opposite sex. 240 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 3: What are you thinking of? 241 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 5: What am I thinking? 242 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 3: I know you're thinking of something, So let's hear it. 243 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 5: Oh, I go too many things to waste your time. 244 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 3: No, they're not a waste of my time. Give me 245 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 3: an example, all right. 246 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 5: I do all the shopping in my family, and have 247 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 5: for almost eleven years now since my wife was pregnant 248 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 5: with my most recent child. And I say, could you 249 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 5: ease write down when you use the last whatever it is, 250 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 5: whether it's the toilet or anything else, or the next 251 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 5: to the last. Write it down just on the list 252 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 5: which we have on the refrigerator, and I'll be glad 253 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 5: to buy it when I go. At least i'll know 254 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 5: can't happen. It's at the point now where she'll say, 255 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 5: I just may never be able to do that. I 256 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 5: might not be able to do that, you know. And 257 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 5: to me it's a problem because I go shopping every 258 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 5: week and then invariably there'll be things that weren't on 259 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 5: the list. 260 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 2: So this is all right, and you're offering this is 261 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 2: an example of something you only learn after marriage. 262 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, you learn that, right. 263 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 2: So in other words, she has a policy, and of 264 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 2: course I haven't heard her side, but just listening to 265 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 2: your side, she has a policy of not telling you 266 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 2: all the things that are necessary when you go shopping. 267 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 3: Right, did she do this? 268 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 2: Is this a new development or was this done from 269 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: the outset? 270 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 3: How long are you married? 271 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 5: How long? 272 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 3: How long are you married yet? 273 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 5: Twenty three years? 274 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 2: Twenty years ago? Would she have written down what all 275 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 2: that was needed? 276 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 5: Well, it wasn't a problem at that point because that 277 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 5: was a shock. 278 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, because she did the shopping. Yes, all right. 279 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 2: So the bottom line is what that people learn things 280 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: problematic aspects of another human and therefore what though of 281 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 2: course that's going to be true, you learn far more. 282 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 2: That's why marriage is a growth in this or not 283 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 2: a growth industry, but a growth for a maturing thing, 284 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,959 Speaker 2: for the human being. You have to deal with real people, 285 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 2: not images. 286 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true, but I mean it takes two to tangle, 287 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 5: as they say, and sometimes those kind of things, the 288 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 5: problems that arise when you are married, the marriage. And 289 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 5: there's one other thing I. 290 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,479 Speaker 2: Wanted to say, all right, well, you know what, do 291 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 2: me a favorite send me that one in an email 292 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 2: because we have to leave it to one thing. 293 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 3: Thank you for calling. 294 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 2: Look, this is very true and it's probably something I 295 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 2: ought to I ought to deal with another male female 296 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 2: hour this you learn more about the other. I have 297 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 2: a dear friend, I'll even say who it is, Joseph 298 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 2: Tulushkin there, the great Jewish writer, and we know each 299 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 2: other since high school. And he has a very interesting 300 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,639 Speaker 2: line about marriage. He said, you not only learn about 301 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 2: far more about the other's issues, you learn far more 302 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 2: about your own issues. And he gives the example of 303 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 2: he says, when you live alone, when you're single as 304 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 2: a bachelor, talking about guys at any rate, you have 305 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 2: no idea if your moody. How do you know if 306 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 2: your moody. You only know if your moody, if if 307 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 2: if he bounces off somebody else. So that, by the way, 308 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 2: which is why I recommend so strongly. One of the 309 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,239 Speaker 2: many reasons I so recommend marriage is because then you 310 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 2: learn yourself. You never there's no mirror in your life 311 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 2: if you don't get married. There just isn't. Let's be honest. 312 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: There there doesn't mean that that everybody who stays single 313 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 2: is X or Y or Z. But I mean the 314 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,239 Speaker 2: notion that you don't grow by having to commit to 315 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 2: someone and live with them daily is no is nonsense. 316 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 2: Of course you do, now, now that's true. You learn 317 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 2: about those those things now here. That's that's a that's something. 318 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 3: We might we might talk about on another show. 319 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 2: Because there I have the belief that it's you should 320 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 2: only be disturbed by that which is disturbing. There are 321 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 2: things in marriage and with friends, because friendships are like marriages. 322 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 2: They're they're like they're like marriage without sex. And if 323 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 2: you do not let the unimportant roll off your back, 324 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 2: you will never have a happy relationship. Maybe that's a 325 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,439 Speaker 2: subject for the happiness our alan more than even for 326 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 2: this specifically. Sometimes they you know, they obviously cross fertilized. 327 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 2: But I just want to say that for a moment, 328 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 2: we should be bothered. Yeah, this is a happiness topic. 329 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 2: We should be bothered by things far more by our 330 00:19:55,359 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 2: intellect than by our emotions. Your mind has to say, 331 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 2: is that really worth getting bothered by? 332 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,360 Speaker 3: So that you know. 333 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 2: The proverbial he he, he always leaves the toilet seat up. 334 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,399 Speaker 2: You have to decide whether you allow that to really 335 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,440 Speaker 2: bother you. And guys, if she wants it down, what 336 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 2: does it cost you to put it down after you 337 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,479 Speaker 2: do your thing. It's a message for both of you. 338 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,400 Speaker 2: Back in a moment. On the Male Female Hour, I'm 339 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager. 340 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 341 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom, look 342 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 1: at Me. 343 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 5: Justice. 344 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,439 Speaker 2: This is the Male Female Hour each week at this 345 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 2: time on this day, specifically the second hour of my 346 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 2: show on Wednesdays. This is the Dennis Prager Show. Hi, 347 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,879 Speaker 2: I'm Dennis. Thank you for being with me. And the 348 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 2: subject today is just as you tried to win the 349 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 2: affection of the person you wanted to marry you before 350 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 2: you married, you should want to win their affection every 351 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 2: day after you're married. Never take their affection for granted. Okay, 352 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 2: never do that with friends. By the way, this isn't 353 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 2: just spouses. I regard friendship the way I regard marriage. 354 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,160 Speaker 2: That's how important I regard friends and friendship. 355 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 3: And you. 356 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 2: Have to devote time to cultivating friendship. And you have 357 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 2: to act in good ways or you lose your friends. 358 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 2: And you have to think that you can lose your spouse. 359 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,919 Speaker 2: You may not lose them through divorce. You may just 360 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 2: lose them through attrition, a war of attrition one A 361 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: Praguer seven seven six. Let's go to some of your 362 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 2: calls here, and let's go to Lisa in Brentwood, California. Lisa, 363 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: thank you for calling. Dennis Prager. 364 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 9: Dennis, Happy New Year. 365 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 3: Thank you. 366 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 9: My comment is I think it's unrealistic to expect a 367 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 9: couple to maintain the level of intensity that they have 368 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 9: while dating, mostly because during dating it's it's really fueled 369 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 9: by a lustful excitement to discover the unknown. And then 370 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 9: I think in any case, be it an athlete, be 371 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 9: it and it's unrealistic to expect somebody to maintain a 372 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 9: level of it, that level of intensity all the time. 373 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 2: Well, the level of intensity maybe, but why the level 374 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:08,360 Speaker 2: of attempt and commitment. I'm not talking about intensity. That's 375 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 2: a word that you introduced. I'm talking about working at 376 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 2: winning the other's affection after marriage as you did before. 377 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 2: I'm not saying you'll have the same level of intensity 378 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 2: or excitement at all times. 379 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 9: Well, I could just speak to myself after being married 380 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 9: twenty five years and being in better shape than I 381 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 9: was when I got married. But I think with greater 382 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 9: knowledge of the person, there's a greater sense of authenticity. 383 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 9: Both partners have to be more authentic, and that can 384 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 9: be for the good or for the bad. 385 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 2: Right, Yes, I well, I don't know about more authentic. 386 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 2: If you faked. If you faked, I'm gonna forgive me. 387 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,920 Speaker 2: I'm gonna let you go because of the terrible interference. 388 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,880 Speaker 2: If you faked who you were, then you were not authentic. 389 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: I see. Interesting is at Lisa. I think she introduced 390 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 2: items here that I was not talking about. I didn't 391 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:11,120 Speaker 2: talk about authenticity. I didn't talk about intensity. I said 392 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 2: that just as you worked to win the affection of 393 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: the person you dated in order to marry the person, 394 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 2: you should you should work at winning the affection of 395 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 2: the person after you marry the person. 396 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 3: That's all. 397 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 2: I didn't say that you will have equally intense times, 398 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 2: and I didn't had nothing to do with authenticity. If 399 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 2: you faked who you were to win the person, then 400 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 2: you were inauthentic, and then you're both. 401 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,719 Speaker 3: Am I allowed to say screwed? Yeah? I mean that's 402 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 3: bad news. 403 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 2: I want you to be authentic before marriage and authentic 404 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 2: after marriage. But authentic doesn't mean body odor. Are you inauthentic? 405 00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,920 Speaker 2: By showering every day? Are you inauthentic? 406 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,160 Speaker 3: Bye? Bye bye? 407 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 2: Keeping yourself clean and and as and as as good 408 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 2: looking as you can? Is that inauthentic? Is it inauthentic 409 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 2: to to call the person and ask how they are? 410 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 3: Why? Is that inauthentic? 411 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 4: So? 412 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 3: Uh, it's inauthentic. 413 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 2: I guess if the guy at dinner he tips the 414 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 2: waiter more before they were married than after they're married. 415 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 2: He wanted to impress, He wanted to impress the woman 416 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 2: that he's a generous guy. Well, now that I have her, 417 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 2: I can go back to giving six percent tips, I 418 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 2: don't know. I guess that's that's that would be perhaps 419 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 2: an example. We continue on the Male Female Hour, and 420 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 2: everything I said applies to friends too. Incidentally, you're listening 421 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 2: to the Dennis Praeger Show. 422 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 1: Your beloved dog and a stranger are both drowning. You 423 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: can only save one. Who do you save? Every time 424 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 1: Dennis Prager asks that question, his audience splits three ways. 425 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: One third chooses the dog, one third chooses the stranger, 426 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: and one third aren't sure why Because we live in 427 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,639 Speaker 1: an age where increasingly feelings define right and wrong. But 428 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: if morality is based on emotion, then murder, rape, and 429 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: theft are just opinions. And if people feel justified, why 430 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,920 Speaker 1: is rioting or destruction wrong at all? In his new book, 431 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: If there Is No God, Dennis Prager explains why civilizations 432 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:36,199 Speaker 1: cannot survive without objective morality and why Judaeo Christian values 433 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: shape the moral foundations of the free world. 434 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 8: If you claim that certain things are good certain things 435 00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 8: are evil, independent of how you feel about it, you 436 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 8: are an effect affirming God. 437 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 1: If there Is No God by Dennis Prager, available now 438 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: at Preggerstore dot com. That's Prigger Store dot com. 439 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager here the Male Female Hour. Thank you for 440 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: being with me every week. At this time we do 441 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 2: talk about this. It's forty five forty five past the 442 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,359 Speaker 2: hour on the Dennis Prager Show and the Male Female Hour, 443 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 2: and that is this. You worked hard to win the 444 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 2: affection of the person you wanted to marry. Why do 445 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 2: people stop working hard to keep that affection after they're married. 446 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 2: That's the theme of this hour. Never take your spouse's 447 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,719 Speaker 2: affection for granted. At a given point, it could be 448 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 2: lost by anybody. Vince in Orange Beach, Alabama. Dennis Prager, 449 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 2: thank you for calling. 450 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 4: Hey, Dennis, how are you. 451 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 3: I'm well, Thank you well. 452 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 4: I think the answer is I think most people are 453 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 4: lazy and selfish, and you know, people just want to 454 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 4: do what they want to do. Marriage is extremely hard work. 455 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 4: When my wife and our first were married, we were 456 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:02,360 Speaker 4: both extremely selfish, spoiled people, and we went to marriage 457 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 4: counseling on and off for eight years, sometimes twice a month, 458 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 4: sometimes once a month, and then it became more of 459 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,920 Speaker 4: like a maintenance thing after you know, five or six years. 460 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,679 Speaker 4: But we've we've learned how to resolve conflict in a 461 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,720 Speaker 4: respectful way and we've become great partners out of it 462 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 4: and great friends out of it. We both take care 463 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 4: of ourselves and we do. We know, we keep the 464 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 4: romance up there. And it's you know, if you're just 465 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 4: going to be lazy and just that's right, you're going 466 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 4: to be divorced and you're going to be lonely. 467 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 2: Vince well said, I thank you. Well said, that's right. Lazy. 468 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 2: Lazy is a big thing. 469 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 3: That's right. 470 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 2: If you want to be lazy, don't get married. That's 471 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 2: a very good rule. Don't get married because it's there's 472 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 2: a vigilancetead it's necessary. I would like though, it'd be 473 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 2: an interesting discussion to have. 474 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 3: I don't know. 475 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 2: If we'll do it on a male female error, but 476 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 2: it's an interesting discussion. The general statement which most people 477 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 2: say is, you know what Vince just said, marriage is 478 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 2: hard work? 479 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 3: Should it be work? Yes? 480 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 2: Hard work? I don't know. I don't know if that's 481 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 2: I don't want people who are not married to think 482 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: that get married and all they're going to do is work. 483 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 2: That's not true. If it takes that much hard work, 484 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 2: there are real problems. And some of you have made 485 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 2: that hard work and made a good marriage and that's terrific. 486 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 2: You are to be just saluted and congratulated. But I 487 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 2: don't want people to think with two mature people work, Yes, 488 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 2: hard work. I don't know if that's uh, it's it's 489 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 2: like parenting is is parenting hard work? Well, it depends 490 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 2: a lot on on you and it depends a lot 491 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 2: on your children. For some people, parenting is very hard 492 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 2: work with a hard child, it's hard work. With an 493 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 2: easy child, it's not hard work at all. And I 494 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,240 Speaker 2: would say the same thing about marriage. If you have 495 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 2: an easy going person that you're married to who's mature 496 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 2: and does and does work just at maintaining your affection, 497 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 2: then it's not that hard. 498 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 3: So it you know, there are there are a lot of. 499 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 2: It depends in in uh in in these matters. So 500 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 2: let's go to Eden Prairie, Minnesota and Suzanne. Hi, Suzanne, 501 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager, thanks for calling. 502 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 6: Hi, Dennis, I had a clarifying moment about marriage on 503 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 6: the tennis court. I played mixed doubles tennis. I was 504 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 6: invited to play as with a neighborhood gentleman as my partner, 505 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 6: and I noticed that as soon as the opponent walked 506 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 6: down the tennis court. I could tell if they were 507 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 6: married or not by how they treated each other on 508 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 6: the tennis court. 509 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 2: And most of that is a great insight keep going 510 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 2: and most of the time go on. 511 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 6: Most of the time, if they were married, they treated 512 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 6: each other horrible. And I learned a great lesson that 513 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 6: helped me in my marriage to always remember to treat 514 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 6: the person I love more than anyone else in the 515 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 6: whole world with respect as much as I can. 516 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:44,280 Speaker 10: That's not to. 517 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 6: Say I am perfect. We've been married thirty five years, 518 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 6: but that moment on those tennis courts, watching married. 519 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 3: It's a terrific call. 520 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 2: Suzanne, here is the way I guess one could put it. 521 00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 2: Why don't you treat your spouse as well as you 522 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 2: treats strangers? 523 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 6: That's it. 524 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 3: You are good. 525 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,920 Speaker 2: That is so that I love that you see it, 526 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 2: because it's She gives a specific example. 527 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 3: For a general rules. 528 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 2: That's my general way of presenting things on any subject, 529 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,239 Speaker 2: and it's a good rule to follow. She looks on 530 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 2: a tennis court, so there's a man and a woman 531 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 2: mixed doubles means that man and women versus man and women. 532 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 2: And she looks and this, so this man and women 533 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 2: come on her adversaries coming out their opponents in the game, 534 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 2: and she immediately knows if they're married, because if they 535 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 2: treat each other respectfully, they're probably not married. 536 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 3: Well, that's it. 537 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,480 Speaker 2: By the way, this is notion of familiarity breeds contempt. 538 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 2: I find that a repugnant notion. If you if you 539 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 2: want it to breed contempt, then it does, or if 540 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,720 Speaker 2: the other person acts contemptibly, then it does, but it 541 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily. 542 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 3: How about familiarity breeds respect. 543 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 2: The more familiar I am with my friends, the more 544 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 2: I respect them, not the less. I certainly hope that 545 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 2: the more familiar you are with me, the more I 546 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: breed your respect. I mean, well, what is this notion 547 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 2: familiarity breeds contempt? Maybe among the contemptible or the contemptuous, 548 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 2: but not necessarily among everybody else. 549 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. 550 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 2: By the way, that is also true for your kids. 551 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 2: I don't think parents should allow kids to mistreat their siblings. 552 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 2: You're well, it's typical. It's sibling rivalry. You know, the 553 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 2: older boy always picks on the younger boy or the 554 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 2: younger girl. I'm sorry if they can't treat their siblings. 555 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 2: If you can't love your brother, I'm not sure you'll 556 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 2: be able to love other people. That's where you start. 557 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 2: It's not where you stop being a decent person. It's 558 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:53,400 Speaker 2: where you start. 559 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 3: Is in the. 560 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 2: Family final segment of this Male Female Hour coming up 561 00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 2: on the Dennis Prager Show. 562 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 563 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:19,840 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 564 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 3: Hello, Hello everybody. 565 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager here at fifty five minutes past the hour 566 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 2: final segment of this edition of The Male Female Hour. 567 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 2: A reminder, by the way, that all of my poodcasts 568 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 2: are available to you a commercial free and in very 569 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 2: high fidelity at the staggering rate of seven dollars a month. 570 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 2: Do you know, and we still get periodic complaints. I 571 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 2: must tell you I am surprised. I mean, we should 572 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,959 Speaker 2: talk about this another time. Obviously not not a male 573 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 2: female subject, but I have to talk to people about money. 574 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 2: That's what we should do. It's not a happiness hour, 575 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 2: just an hour devoted to money and what you spend 576 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 2: money on and what should be charged for anyway. In 577 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 2: any event, just know that that much is available to 578 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 2: you with the highest fidelity and commercial free. And you 579 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,640 Speaker 2: go to Dennis Prager dot com, where it says Praguer Topia. 580 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 2: I have two websites, Prager Radio dot com and Dennis 581 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 2: Prager dot com. And that's at Dennis Praguer dot com. 582 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 2: All right, let's go to New Baltimore, Michigan. Mike, Hello Mike, 583 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,200 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager. 584 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 11: Hello, Dennis, Thank you. Just wanted to say that I 585 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,879 Speaker 11: lost my best friend about little over two years ago, 586 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 11: my wife of twenty three plus years. I'm very young, yes, 587 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:56,719 Speaker 11: well at fifty plus two. Anyway, our first twenty plus 588 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:01,360 Speaker 11: years of marriage were fantastics like sexy, being sexy and 589 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 11: all that. In the last couple of years, as her 590 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:08,560 Speaker 11: body was ravaged by disease, everything broke down and I 591 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,520 Speaker 11: never saw her as a burden. And all those memories 592 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 11: stayed fresh with me even to this day. And so 593 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 11: when a person like that one man said about being selfish, 594 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:18,840 Speaker 11: is your selfish? 595 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 3: Like that? 596 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 11: And these things happen in life. Both the husband and 597 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,359 Speaker 11: life will miss out if they are not thinking about 598 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 11: taking care of she. 599 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,080 Speaker 2: You know why that worked, Mike, because she built up 600 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,320 Speaker 2: what I call a moral bank account with you. Over 601 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 2: the course of all of that time. She worked on 602 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 2: herself to be your sexy woman the same way she 603 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,239 Speaker 2: worked to be your sexy date before you married. That's 604 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,800 Speaker 2: exactly my point. God, bless you, God, I'm so sorry 605 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:51,320 Speaker 2: about what happened. It just it's heartbreaking. I have talked 606 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 2: about the moral bank account idea. It's true in politics, 607 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,160 Speaker 2: it's true in our relations with our friends. We will 608 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,319 Speaker 2: all screw up one day or some tragedy will happen. 609 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 2: But you earn a great bank account if you keep 610 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 2: making deposits. 611 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,640 Speaker 3: That's correct. 612 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 2: And yes, to address the real issue, Yes, guys want 613 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 2: their wife to try to be sexy. That's correct, and 614 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,800 Speaker 2: women know this when they're dating. Why should it stop 615 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 2: once you stop dating and get married? And guys, whatever 616 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,160 Speaker 2: you did likewise, And that was the theme of this 617 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,319 Speaker 2: Male Female Hour. 618 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,120 Speaker 3: I'm Dennis Prager. 619 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 1: Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. 620 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,760 Speaker 3: I've gotten you, Am I scared? 621 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 5: I have got you. 622 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,000 Speaker 3: Deep in Nahar. 623 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,919 Speaker 2: Well, this is one of the songs that I will 624 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,239 Speaker 2: hear every day prior to the show, and I got 625 00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 2: to tell you, it puts me in a good mood. 626 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,480 Speaker 3: It does. It has a wonderful effect on me. 627 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:07,560 Speaker 2: And I just can't tell you how impressed I have 628 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 2: been with listening to this guy singh Yeah. 629 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,880 Speaker 10: I'm sixteen years old and I was in Power Records, 630 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,240 Speaker 10: I think one time, and you know the little listening 631 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,920 Speaker 10: station things that they have in there. I put on 632 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,200 Speaker 10: the headphones and there was a Frank Sinatra CD playing, 633 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,120 Speaker 10: and I just listened and it kind of drew me 634 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,800 Speaker 10: in because it really sounded cool. 635 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,080 Speaker 3: He smoked two unfiltered packs. 636 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 7: A day over long periods, although depending who you talk to, 637 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 7: he stopped the heavy drinking, all the heaviest of the drinking, 638 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,840 Speaker 7: and cut back on the cigarettes in the weeks before 639 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:44,000 Speaker 7: an important concert or before a recording even more so, join. 640 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:48,400 Speaker 1: Us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. 641 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 1: Visit Denispragger dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, 642 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:57,080 Speaker 1: courses in classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's 643 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:03,719 Speaker 1: Rational Bibles. We want to take just a second to 644 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 1: thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with 645 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,160 Speaker 1: us on the podcast. Go to lifeaudio dot com to 646 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,200 Speaker 1: find dozens of other faith centered podcasts and their network, 647 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: including shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.