1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Faith over Your podcast, where we discuss 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 2: powerful truth to quiet anxiety and fear. Big and small 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: comes the woman sitting in a jail cell asking God 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: how everything fell apart. Unfortunately, that's not a hypothetical. That's 6 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 2: what my co host, Carol McCracken experienced years ago, but 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 2: it turned out much better than she anticipated, although the 8 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 2: road to her redeemed ending wasn't quick or easy. Today's 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 2: episode is special as it comes from Carol's conversation on 10 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: one of our sister shows, Live Life Sober with Christy Osborne. 11 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 2: Join her and Carol to catch this powerful story of 12 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 2: hidden addiction, shame, learning to depend on God, and receiving 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 2: unexpected restoration. 14 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 3: Our God is not confined to statistics. God loves you. 15 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 3: God loves every person that he created. God loves me, 16 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 3: God loves my husband. God does not want to disc 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 3: functional relationship where you are being torn down. But I 18 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 3: believe if you do surrender such as I did, when 19 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 3: you finally get to that point where you can truly 20 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 3: truly surrender, He's there for you. 21 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 4: Welcome to Love Life Sober. I'm your host and your coach, 22 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 4: Christy Osborne. This podcast is for the woman who loves 23 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 4: Jesus or is longing to reconnect with him, and who 24 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 4: knows deep down that alcohol is no longer serving her. 25 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 1: Here we talk honestly, with. 26 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 4: Grace and truth about how stepping away from alcohol opens 27 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 4: the door to the love, joy, peace and connection you've 28 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 4: been searching for. Because, Babe, those things were never meant 29 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 4: to be found in a bottle of wine. They're found 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 4: in Jesus. Through scripture, coaching and neuroscience, I'll help you 31 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 4: make sense of your habits, your nervous system, and what 32 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 4: you're really craving so that freedom feels not only possible, 33 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 4: but sustainable. 34 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: You don't have to do this alone, Babe. Let's dive in. 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 4: Hello, my beautiful friend to welcome back to the podcast. 36 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 4: I really cannot wait for you to hear this beautiful 37 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 4: testimony with my friend Carol McCracken. You are going to 38 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 4: literally just be hanging on the edge of your seats. 39 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 4: Let's introduce our guest today. Carol McCracken is a Bible 40 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 4: study teacher, ministry leader, author, and an incredible podcast host 41 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 4: who never imagined a struggle with alcohol would become part 42 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 4: of her story. From the outside, Carol looked like she 43 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 4: had it all together. She served faithfully at church, but 44 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 4: behind the scenes, stress at home, parenting a child with 45 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 4: special needs, and growing tension in her marriage slowly turned 46 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 4: wine into a coping tool. Carol shares the night she 47 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 4: was pulled over, arrested, and spent the night in jail, 48 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 4: the moment her double life came crashing into the light, 49 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 4: and the surrender that followed when she finally laid it 50 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 4: all at the feet of Jesus. What unfolds next is 51 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 4: a story of true rejemption, freedom from cravings, a restored 52 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 4: identity in Christ, and years later there a shocking and 53 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 4: beautiful twist of restoration in her marriage. I cannot wait 54 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 4: for you guys to listen to her story. If you 55 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 4: ever thought if only the people at church knew, then babe, 56 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 4: this episode is for you. 57 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: Let's dive in. Carol, my new friend, how are you? 58 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 4: I'm good? How are you Christy good? I got to 59 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 4: record on your podcast. Had so much fun getting to 60 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 4: know you. Tell the girls who don't know you about 61 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 4: your two podcasts. 62 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 3: Yes, be glad to the first one that you're referencing, 63 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 3: where you were a guest was It's called Faith Over 64 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: fear because it's a lot of people that have been 65 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 3: through things, hard things, and how you can get to 66 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 3: the other side one way or enough. 67 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: That's a fun one, that's more of an interview style. 68 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 3: And I'm also on your Daily Bible Verse with a 69 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 3: team of six of us and we take a verse 70 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 3: of the Bible and break it down, tell how it's 71 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 3: affected us. And it's an entirely different look at it, 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 3: but we enjoy it. We enjoy exploring the Scripture together. 73 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 4: Oh I love that in New host Wednesday, right, is 74 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 4: that right the house? We are both in the Life 75 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 4: Audio family, So shout out to our friends at Life Audio. 76 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 4: I got to know you through you interviewing me and 77 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 4: through our other mutual friend, John Seidel, and I was 78 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:21,159 Speaker 4: listening to your story and just like singing Callelujah, just like, 79 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 4: oh my gosh. I was so pumped to record with 80 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 4: you today because I know that your testimony is going 81 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 4: to encourage so many women, so many women, and you 82 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 4: have an incredible story I would just love to start with. 83 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 4: So you were leading Bible study right in church. 84 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 3: It's one of those things you know that you really think, Oh, 85 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 3: that can't happen to me, that happens to other people, 86 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 3: and I really believe that, you know. And I started 87 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 3: really enjoying wine and beer in college because I was free. 88 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 3: I was in seventeen year old who had gone off 89 00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: to college, relatively naive and discovered a love for three 90 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 3: point two bear at the time. 91 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: So it was just one of those things. 92 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 3: There's a lot of alcoholics in my family, and it's 93 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 3: not supposed to get me. I was uneducated with it, 94 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 3: and it started creeping up on me, creeping up bomb me, 95 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 3: and I kind of struggled with it for years until Yes, 96 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 3: I am a Bible study teacher in a relatively small town, 97 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 3: and it caught up with me because the Lord was 98 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 3: ready to get my attention. 99 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 4: Well, I think that women really relate to the different 100 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 4: reasons why we think that we like to drink. 101 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: And in my book Love Life, Sobri. 102 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 4: I talk about the jobs that we give alcohol and 103 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 4: so one of the main jobs that you had given it, 104 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,239 Speaker 4: right was to check out relieve the stress of having 105 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 4: a son right that was with special needs? 106 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: Is that correct? That's exactly right. 107 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 3: He's our only child, and my husband and I wanted 108 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:53,679 Speaker 3: only his good. 109 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: You know, there was no rule book. 110 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 3: He's got four different syndrome, He's got Ausburgers, He's got 111 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 3: a mood disorder, which is the main thing that was 112 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 3: affecting us. I mean, his chemicals could drop out without 113 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 3: warning at any time, So it was constantly walking on eggshells. 114 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: Love that child more than life itself, I tell you, 115 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 3: But he was difficult to raise, and he realizes it too. 116 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 3: But my husband and I kind of disagreed on how 117 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 3: we should handle his upbringing, so there was tension to 118 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 3: the marriage. We were both working outside the home, continually 119 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 3: surprised by our son's decisions, because if you have Osberger's, 120 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,839 Speaker 3: you kind of follow a social script. You might not 121 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 3: know why you're responding, but you do it because you 122 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 3: have to, Like you might not look in somebody's eyes, 123 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 3: but gradually your script gets built and you can function. 124 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: He was high functioning. 125 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,359 Speaker 3: Usually if he had to make a decision that he 126 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 3: didn't have the background for, he would make the wrong decision. 127 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 3: We had horrific things happening at home that we were 128 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,239 Speaker 3: not equipped to deal with, and we got professional help 129 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 3: which helped. We got him on some medication, so he 130 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 3: finally got to where he felt like he could control 131 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 3: his behavior a little bit, but that stress was there 132 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 3: all the time, just waiting, waiting, waiting. We just got 133 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 3: tired of feeling and so my husband and I both 134 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 3: increased our alcohol uptake because we just kind of wanted 135 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 3: those feelings to stop. I drank chardonnay, and I didn't 136 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 3: fall into the typical what you would consider alcoholic label 137 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 3: because I didn't drink every night. So I think that 138 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 3: is my guide. I'm like, no, I'm good, I'm good. 139 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 3: But it became troublesome and alcohol is a progressive disease 140 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 3: and I didn't understand that. I went to my pastor 141 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 3: when I finally realized that alcohol was occupying a little 142 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 3: too much in my life. But like I said, you know, 143 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 3: I wasn't defined as an alcoholic by your traditional standards 144 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 3: at the time. I'm fourteen years sober, so at that time, 145 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 3: alcoholics anonymous was really the only answer that I was 146 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 3: aware of. And I went to my pastor and I'm like, Okay, 147 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 3: I think I'm having this problem. I think I need 148 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 3: to take next steps, and he's like care eight and 149 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 3: he is really. 150 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: A big step. I just I don't think you need 151 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 1: to do that. 152 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 3: So I'm like scar like Freney I'm not labeled like that, 153 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 3: which was a huge mistake in my life. 154 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: I should have attended to it. 155 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 3: Then I continued on, and I continued on, and here's 156 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 3: to the embarrassing. 157 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: I was driving. 158 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 3: My husband and I were get ready to have company 159 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 3: at the house, and I was feeling stressed. I needed 160 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 3: more wine. I thought, to stop these this anxiety was 161 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 3: just building, building, building, and we were going to have 162 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 3: company and I didn't need to be anxious. So I 163 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 3: decided to go get more wine. So I got the car, 164 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 3: and I discovered who I really should not be driving, 165 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 3: and so I pulled over. Luckily that was my saving grace. 166 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 3: I pulled over. But lo and behold they were blue 167 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 3: flashing lights in my back window and they were for me. 168 00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 3: And so I suffered the humiliation of walking the walk 169 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 3: of being taken and fingerprinted, and I had to stay 170 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 3: in lock up overnight, and I had a literal come 171 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 3: to Jesus meeting that night as I'm sitting there and 172 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: all my mess and just thinking what has this come to? 173 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 3: And the Lord I didn't hear a verbal voice or anything, 174 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 3: but just kind of a tug in my spirit, and 175 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 3: the Lord's like, so, how's life? Going your way, ready 176 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 3: to listen, and I had to surrender. 177 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: I had to be embarrassed. 178 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: I had to realize that, without a doubt, it was 179 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 3: out of control. 180 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, and how many people it was like five people 181 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 4: right had run the police. 182 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 3: It's that exciting the Bible study teachers out, you know, 183 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 3: and it's kind of like, oh, my Lord, they didn't 184 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 3: know who I was. But to your point, I found 185 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 3: out later that five people had called in due to 186 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 3: my erratic driving. But the Lord protects fools, thank goodness. Yeah, 187 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 3: but the Lord was good and he knows me. The 188 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 3: Lord knows me so well because he knew that I 189 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 3: needed to take a hit in my pride, and. 190 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: He was with you even just right. You ended up 191 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: like not even actually getting getting to uy. In the end, 192 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: I got nothing. I was terrified. 193 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 3: I was terrified, terrified, terrified, had a lawyer, had to 194 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 3: go to court, had to sit there, and of course 195 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 3: I think everybody's looking at me. 196 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: I'm so ashamed. I was so consumed with a shame. 197 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: I felt worthless. 198 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 3: And I saw my lawyer go up and he talked 199 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 3: to one of the policemen. Then they went up and 200 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 3: they talked to the judge and the judge goes Carol 201 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 3: McCracken and I had to go down. I was hanging 202 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 3: my head and I was like, yeah, it was awful. 203 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 3: It was just what I needed though. It really was yep. 204 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 3: Judge said, Carol, you have a good record. You've never 205 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 3: done this before. I don't want you to ever do 206 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 3: it again. 207 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: You're just missed. 208 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 3: I got all bail money refunded and I walked out 209 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 3: knowing I had to do so thing. 210 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: There wasn't to mark on my record. 211 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 3: That is the wild The Lord gave me a second 212 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 3: chance that I didn't deserve. I didn't bargain with God, 213 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 3: but since he gave me a second chance, I don't 214 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 3: want to do anything to mess it up. So I 215 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 3: went to a friend because I didn't know what to do. 216 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 3: I was not aware of the education like there is today. 217 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 3: And that's why I'm here, because there's so much education, 218 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 3: so many cool people that I've met that have experienced 219 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: this same problem, and the isolation I was dealing with 220 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 3: was not helpful. And so I worked long and hard 221 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 3: for about a year, and I took the twelve step 222 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 3: program approach and it worked for me. 223 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 4: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. 224 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 4: Paullelujah for the second chances, right. I remember you saying 225 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 4: you were getting arrested and you were like, you don't 226 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 4: know who I am, which I like, I mean, it's 227 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 4: so relatable, it's so relatable. 228 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: It's just like, this cannot be happening to me. Do 229 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: you know who on the Bible? Stuffy? Just teachers don't 230 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 1: get arrested about. But yet. 231 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 3: Again, just what I needed that the Lord was there 232 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 3: and it was just it just struck me how far 233 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 3: pride goes and how humbled that I needed to be, 234 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 3: and the Lord got me in my vanity. 235 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: But that was just exactly the right thing to do. 236 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: I needed it. 237 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 4: Talk to the woman who is serving in church, because 238 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 4: I've heard this before too of gals and it breaks 239 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 4: my heart who are serving on the worship team or 240 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 4: leading in some capacity and have stepped down because they're like, 241 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 4: I'm leading this double life and I don't feel like 242 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 4: I should be leading. But my point kind of being 243 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 4: is that duplicitous feeling of living one way in secret 244 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 4: and then showing up to church to be a leader 245 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 4: in some way? 246 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: What did that feel like? It was terrible. 247 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 3: It is one of those things you're fighting with you yourself, 248 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: because I felt that in order to teach Bible study, 249 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 3: you had to have some degree of authority in which 250 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 3: people knew you knew and study the scriptures and knew 251 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 3: what you were talking about. 252 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: Therefore, in the corporate world where. 253 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 3: I came up, you know, you never let them see 254 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 3: you shake you power through your cage isn't rattled. 255 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: You fake it till you make it. 256 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 3: So that's the only tool I had to equip myself 257 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 3: with it. So I thought, Kay, this is not a 258 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 3: Bible study teacher. Should not drink, should not be out 259 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 3: of control. How are they supposed to handle other people 260 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 3: if they can't handle themselves? And that was the most 261 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 3: erroneous conclusion that I had jumped to. Because everybody's got something, Christie, 262 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,079 Speaker 3: whether it's alcohol or something. And if God has given 263 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 3: you leadership skills administration skills, he wants you to use them. 264 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 3: Now you can also lead people astray. So don't get 265 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,840 Speaker 3: me wrong, You've got to definitely put checks and balances 266 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 3: in your teaching and lead. 267 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 1: So I mean, if you do have to step down 268 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: at some point, maybe you do. I'm not arguing that. 269 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 3: However, that doesn't mean you have to step away permanently. 270 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 3: And in my case, what I did, I finally got 271 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 3: to the point where I'm like, I can't wrestle with 272 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 3: myself anymore. I just knew that I was going to 273 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 3: be ostracized. I did not deserve to be there. But 274 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 3: let me tell you that's the point. None of us deserved, 275 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 3: but yet we're called to it. So I happened to 276 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 3: go into my Bible study class ready to step down, 277 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I've got to tell you what's happened. 278 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 3: I'm sure you've heard it by now. It's a small town, 279 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 3: but I confess to you that I have this problem. 280 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 3: I'm working on it now. Thank you for your time. 281 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 3: They basically put their hands on me. They laid hands 282 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 3: on me and prayed for me, and they said, you 283 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 3: have no idea how much more approachable you are now. 284 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 3: We shouldn't be on a pedestal. We do not deserve 285 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 3: to be a pedestal. When you look up, we should 286 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 3: see God, not the person. And so so they said, 287 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 3: because of that, we support and will continue to pray 288 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 3: for you working on it. But you've got a gift, 289 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 3: and we would really prefer if you would keep using it. 290 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: I love that so much. 291 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 4: I interviewed John Elmore, who is the pastor down in Waco, 292 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 4: and one of the things that he said in his book, 293 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 4: which I thought was so powerful, is of all his 294 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 4: degrees and different jobs, right, the thing that makes him 295 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 4: the most relatable is his alcohol story. 296 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: Right. 297 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 4: Of all the things like that we've done in our life, 298 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 4: feathers in our cap This is the thing that it 299 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 4: will relate to women. 300 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: Is this struggle of ours. 301 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 3: Yes, And it's one thing that I really tried with 302 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 3: willpower to get through it. I tried everything I could. 303 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 3: You can't do it on your own, No, just can't. 304 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 3: God created us for community. I firmly believe that, and 305 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 3: the more transparent we can be. Now, I'm not saying 306 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 3: go up and go high, nice to meet you, even 307 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 3: throw up all your stuff on somebody, not it at all, 308 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 3: But you have people that you can confess to people 309 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 3: that I deliberately made myself accountable. 310 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. 311 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 3: The reason I put it out there is because it 312 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 3: freed me. Because if somebody saw me in a position 313 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 3: that I shouldn't be in, I want them to call 314 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 3: me on it because I'd live in freedom now a man, 315 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: I don't want to give up that freedom. I feel 316 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 3: so much better without alcohol, and it just killed me 317 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 3: because I thought I can't give up alcohol. I don't 318 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 3: want to do it. I've earned this, but it entrapped me. 319 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 3: I don't want to live that way. And I'll tell 320 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: you a big blessing that I did have is for 321 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 3: all the fighting that I did to overcome, it was 322 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 3: a burden I was not meant to carry alone in 323 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 3: When I surrendered, the Lord took my craving away. Yeah, 324 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 3: not a medium. He did not just wave a wand 325 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 3: I had work to do. I want to be real 326 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 3: about that. I do not crave it. I do not 327 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 3: miss it now and I really strive to be in 328 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 3: that position and never made it on my own. 329 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I hear the woman because I get this 330 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 4: question a lot. How long to take, Carol for the 331 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 4: cravings to go? 332 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 3: There's a body change, a physiological thing that you have 333 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 3: to go through. You know all the science. Because it 334 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 3: wasn't easy. I wanted it for quite some time, and 335 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 3: I can remember. The weirdest thing is I would dream 336 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,879 Speaker 3: about it, have these dreams, and I would be so 337 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 3: mad at myself that I'm in my dream. 338 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: I would drink I made the vision to drink, and 339 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: then I would. 340 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 3: Be so mad and upset with myself, and then I 341 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 3: would wake up and I'd be like, oh, dear Jesus, 342 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 3: didn't oh my exactly exactly. I went to the programs 343 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 3: where I can remember what they call as an old timer. 344 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 3: There somebody that continued to go to the meetings. I'd 345 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 3: had a terrible day because there was more than in 346 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 3: my life. Drinking was just a symptom. It's not the problem. 347 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 3: Old timer looked at me because I was having a 348 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 3: really bad day and he's like, Carol, like what, and 349 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 3: he goes having a bad day, aren't you. 350 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I am. And he's like did you drink? 351 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 3: And I said no, I didn't, and he goes, girl, 352 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 3: then you are having a good day. 353 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, there's a little perspective. Thank you. 354 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: I love that. 355 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 4: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. Hey, babe, 356 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,480 Speaker 4: let me just pause us for one second because I 357 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 4: want to let you know that sign ups are now 358 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,679 Speaker 4: open for our June forty day Alcohol Fast, which is 359 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 4: going to go through my book Love Life Sober for 360 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 4: six weeks in our private off of all social media community. 361 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 4: There's going to be four coaches and four calls a week. 362 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 4: If you can't make the calls live, they will be recorded. 363 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 4: We are opening up this very special private space within 364 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 4: the Love Life. 365 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: Sober community on May twenty first. 366 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,680 Speaker 4: Coaching will start on June first and go through July 367 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 4: tenth for six weeks. There will be daily encouragement in 368 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 4: that space. You will be led by myself again, these 369 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 4: three other amazing coaches, as well as a team of 370 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,640 Speaker 4: our Fast captains who have found freedom from alcohol through 371 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 4: Love Life Sober. We are so excited about this summer fast. 372 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 4: If you'd like to join us, you can do so 373 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 4: at the link in the show notes. I can't wait 374 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 4: to meet you. I can't wait to walk these six 375 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 4: weeks for you. It's going to be a really, really 376 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 4: good one. So head to the link if you would 377 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 4: like to sign up, and I will see you on 378 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 4: June first. So let's go back to the jail cell. 379 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 4: When you came out was where was your marriage at 380 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 4: that point? 381 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,479 Speaker 3: It was bad, It was very bad. We're hanging out. 382 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 3: I don't believe in divorce. I believe you know, you 383 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 3: make your bed, you should lie in it. My parents 384 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,920 Speaker 3: were married forever you make vows. I think that you 385 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 3: should honor your vows. But we just it was bad. 386 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 3: I genuinely believe that my husband thought that I woke 387 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,719 Speaker 3: up and planned how I was gonna use my rage 388 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 3: on him. You know, it sounds stupid, but that's how 389 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 3: it felt. Terrible. It was not in a good place 390 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 3: at that point in time. And the humiliating aspect of 391 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: it is my mom and my husband posted my bail. Okay, 392 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 3: remember Bible study teacher. So I walk out. I'm not 393 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 3: even sure how I'm going to get home. You know, 394 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 3: this is not my practice. I don't know what one 395 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,719 Speaker 3: gets out of jail, okay. And there is my mom 396 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,479 Speaker 3: and my husband's standing there, and I'm just like, I 397 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 3: am a worthless piece of human being ever. And my 398 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 3: husband looked me in the eye and he said, I 399 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 3: can't keep on with this, and I'm like, this is bad. 400 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: I never thought it would be this bad. 401 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 3: And so it was rock bottom for me, and I 402 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 3: know he has a rock bottom. But everything that I 403 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 3: knew to be true and right was wrong. 404 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then at that point, the Bible teacher that 405 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: doesn't believe in divorce, what happened next? 406 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 3: My seventeen year old son looked at me and said, 407 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 3: winning in a divorce, Dad, that was awful, and he 408 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 3: was living. You know, if you've got somebody with several 409 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 3: my son needed calm, he needed peace, he needed regulation, 410 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 3: and he was not getting that at home. And so 411 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 3: my husband and I decided to divorce, and we did, 412 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 3: and that separation ultimately was what we needed. We had 413 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 3: to cool off, and little did we both know, we 414 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 3: both went off to better ourselves and we needed to 415 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 3: be separate to do that sort of thing. 416 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 4: So the casualty of all of this was our marriage. 417 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,640 Speaker 4: And then what happened about what ten years later? This 418 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 4: is my favorite part. 419 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 3: I can't even believe that it's true. But God is 420 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 3: a god of redemption. Okay, So I'm feeling pretty good 421 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 3: about myself at this point. You know, I've done a 422 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 3: lot of work, I knew who I was in Christ. 423 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: I'm in a much healthier position. 424 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 3: And my son did something that, for privacy purposes, that's 425 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 3: not germane to this story, but it was something that 426 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 3: I needed to tell my husband about ex husband at 427 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 3: the time. 428 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,360 Speaker 1: So we went to dinner. 429 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 3: And I said, I've just got to talk to you, 430 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 3: and you know, I walked into that restaurant, we just 431 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 3: saw each other. 432 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: We just started crying. 433 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 3: It was it wasn't sweet, it was ugly crying, but 434 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 3: it was good. 435 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: It was good. 436 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 3: And so he had done a lot of work on himself, 437 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 3: and so we just began to spend more time together 438 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 3: and more time together. I mean, we were together for 439 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 3: twenty six years. I grew up on the man, you know, 440 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 3: we was a human being together. And then he had 441 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 3: he being my husband, had some physical issues and had 442 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 3: to go to the hospital which required him to get 443 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 3: a feeding to and so he stayed with me for 444 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 3: well I kept a dog for forty days, but he 445 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 3: stayed with me and recovered from the feeding to and 446 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 3: it wasn't so bad. And so then because we enjoyed 447 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 3: time together again, and you begin to think, Wow, maybe 448 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: I wasn't so stupid to say I do. 449 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: I feel much better about this. 450 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 3: And he asked me to marry him again, and I 451 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 3: said yes. So last year at Christmas, we remarry. 452 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god, God is so good. I can't even 453 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 1: believe my own story. Christy he is. He is a 454 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 1: good God. He is such a good God. And when 455 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 1: I just heard that, I was. 456 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 4: Like Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for all the 457 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:32,640 Speaker 4: women in the community to hear this, because I'm constantly 458 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 4: saying God loves marriage and he is a god of restoration. 459 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 3: Truly, I'm living proof of it, and I never believed 460 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 3: it would happen. 461 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,679 Speaker 1: You have to surrender. 462 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 3: You just have to surrender, and you have to be 463 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 3: okay with whatever God decides. 464 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,440 Speaker 1: And if you can do that, you're halfway there. 465 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 4: Part of the reason I resonate so much of your 466 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 4: story is because I feel like I was only a 467 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 4: few steps behind you in like something like that happening, 468 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 4: if that makes sense, especially with the marriage piece of it. 469 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: Like I didn't think there was definitely a. 470 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 4: Point where I was like, oh, yeah, no, we're not 471 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 4: going to make it because of the fighting and trying 472 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 4: to raise kids and drinking and not remembering what we 473 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 4: were fighting about. And God's just so good in again, 474 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 4: the redemption and the restoration of it all. Can you 475 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 4: encourage that woman though, who is either afraid of her 476 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 4: marriage ending to drinking or her marriage maybe not being 477 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 4: the same because she stops and that's the thing that 478 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 4: connects them. 479 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 3: I'm going to be perfectly honest with you when I 480 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 3: was going through my twelve step program. They told us 481 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 3: fifty percent of the marriages will not make it and 482 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,400 Speaker 3: it is because you change and one person doesn't want 483 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 3: to change. 484 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: But our God is not confined to statistics. 485 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 3: God loves you, God loves every person that he created. 486 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 1: God loves me, God love my husband. 487 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 3: God does not want a dysfunctional relationship where you are 488 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 3: being torn down. But I believe if you do surrender 489 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 3: such as I did, when you finally get to that 490 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 3: point where you can truly truly surrender, he's there for 491 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 3: you that will catch you and you have to be 492 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 3: okay with him and his plan for you, and that 493 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 3: you may encourage marriage again, and it may not encourage 494 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 3: marriage again. God doesn't want something that's just going to 495 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,000 Speaker 3: tear you down again in a dysfunctional relationship. 496 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: However, you've made vows and you want to honor them. 497 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,439 Speaker 3: So I don't know if this is encouragement or not, 498 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 3: But if you stick with it, God wants your good. 499 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 3: God has not brought you this far, yeah, to leave 500 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 3: you behind, and you just it's a stick touitiveness. Stick 501 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,199 Speaker 3: to God no matter what He has a plan for you. 502 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 3: Heye me require you to do some work. He may 503 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 3: be separating you so the other person can do some work. 504 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, so many. 505 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,919 Speaker 3: Different probabilities that equal a whole and happy marriage. 506 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: But I do know God loves marriage. 507 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 3: I know I'm going back and forth, But that's just 508 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 3: because God has a unique plan for each and every 509 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 3: one of us his creation. 510 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, and ultimately it's about trusting Him, which is really 511 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 1: really hard sometimes. 512 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 3: Yes it is. Let's face it, we as women like control. 513 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 3: That's a broad statement. Look at the Marry and Martha 514 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 3: thing in the Bible. You know, Martha didn't do anything 515 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 3: wrong in the Bible, she just lost focus. She was 516 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:40,239 Speaker 3: trying to make a better environment when Jesus was the 517 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 3: best thing. And we can all learn from that. We 518 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 3: try to control our environments, raise our children to be 519 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 3: godly children, work, give it all to God, that sort 520 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 3: of thing. But we can lose tracks so easily in 521 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 3: the details and trying to make it perfect for God 522 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 3: that we miss God himself and all once. 523 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 4: Is uh one hundred percent, And living free from alcohol 524 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 4: gives us that opportunity and that clarity to be able 525 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 4: to focus on Him. 526 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 2: Right. 527 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,679 Speaker 4: I was so unclear and so far removed and not 528 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,520 Speaker 4: even remotely focused on him when I was drinking. I 529 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 4: was raised in church, but I was not. I mean, 530 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 4: you aren't know my story, but I wasn't the Bible 531 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 4: school teacher, right, Like I was kind of showing up 532 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 4: every once in a while on Sunday and thinking I 533 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,120 Speaker 4: was good because I grew up in church, you know. 534 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: And I was alone. Trust me. 535 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, talk a little bit about what it took 536 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 4: and how Jesus showed up for you in like the 537 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,199 Speaker 4: shame piece of it all, and like how long it 538 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 4: took for that to lose its grip. 539 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: It took a while. It definitely took a while. 540 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 3: I think it took a good year for me personally 541 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 3: because I had done things I never thought that I 542 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 3: would do. I was not myself. I made stupid decision, 543 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,199 Speaker 3: My judgment was compromised. Everything around me was falling apart. 544 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 3: Everything I thought I was was not. But in that part, 545 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 3: it's almost like, I don't know if you've heard of 546 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 3: the analogy of restoring furniture. 547 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 1: The piece is good, the piece is strong. 548 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 3: It might be falling apart, but you take things in, 549 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,679 Speaker 3: You rub off that paint, you rub off what is 550 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 3: on it to make it into something new, to make 551 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,920 Speaker 3: it something better, but the bones of it are still there. 552 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,199 Speaker 1: And that's what he had to do to me. 553 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 3: God had to work with me to get rid of 554 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 3: the shameful parts, the shame within me. God had forgiven me, 555 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 3: but I still tried to earn his love. I thought 556 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 3: that I was not good enough. I didn't realize that 557 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 3: until looking in hindsight how my behavior was. I didn't 558 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 3: feel redeemable. I didn't feel worthy. You have to work through. 559 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 3: It's time, as much hate it sometimes time looking at 560 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 3: the scriptures, look at truths, at what God really says 561 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 3: about you. He is kind God. He's got ever loving kindness. 562 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 3: He loves his creation. God will never go away, no 563 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 3: matter how deep, no matter how high, nothing can separate 564 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 3: you from the love of Jesus Christ. 565 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, my head knew it, my heart did not know it. 566 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 3: So God and I went through a period of reconciling 567 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 3: my head and my heart for about a year. 568 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:36,479 Speaker 1: Yeah. 569 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 4: I love that answer so much because I know it 570 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 4: will encourage women who are feeling like they are the 571 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 4: one woman that is unredeemable or unforgivable. And it does 572 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 4: take time, and it takes getting to know who Jesus 573 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 4: truly is. 574 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 3: Absolutely I know him deeper and much better even teaching 575 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 3: the Bible. I won't say that's a surface level because 576 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 3: that's too strong. My head knew him well. I knew 577 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 3: all the right answers. I knew how to break things 578 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 3: down for people. But I had to live it. I 579 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 3: had to experience the mercy and the love for it 580 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 3: to take the path from my head to my heart. 581 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent. I love the way that you 582 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 4: just explain that. It's so beautiful. Is there one tiny 583 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 4: word of encouragement or a new action that you would 584 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 4: leave the listeners with? 585 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 3: Don't forget who you are in Christ. Satan doesn't want 586 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 3: you to know that. Satan will discourage you. He will 587 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 3: distract you. He will make me feel less than because 588 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 3: then he can distract you from who you really are. 589 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 3: Every morning. Jesus's mercies really are new each day. Yeah, 590 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 3: just that bad day that I had and I had 591 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 3: to be encouraged by the old timer. Your day is good. 592 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 3: Who are you in Christ? When it makes it from 593 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 3: your head to your heart? When that Bible verse is 594 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 3: not just some you memorize, but something that you live 595 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 3: that makes the transformation complete? 596 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: Yes, but God is never ever going to give up 597 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:09,200 Speaker 1: on you. 598 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,479 Speaker 4: Amen, Thank you so much. Can you tell the gals 599 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 4: where to find you? Learn more about you and I 600 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 4: will put everything also in the show notes. 601 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: I'd love it. 602 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 3: You can check us out on either of the podcasts, 603 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 3: The Faith Over Fear or your Daily Bible Verse if 604 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 3: you want to hear the broadcast, or you can come 605 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 3: to my website at any time. Carolmccracken dot com and 606 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 3: I'd love to see you and hear from you. 607 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 4: Thank you, Carol. I appreciate you so much. I'm so 608 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 4: glad that we got connected. I hope we get to 609 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 4: have an in person hug at some point in our future. 610 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 611 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: I just appreciate you telling your story. Thank you having me. 612 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 4: Thank you for spending this time with me on Love 613 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 4: Life's Over. If today's conversation stirred something in your heart, 614 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 4: don't rush past it, take it to prayer. If you're 615 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 4: feeling ready for deeper connection and support, I'd love to 616 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 4: invite you into the Love Life Sober community, a grace filled, 617 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 4: shame free space where real connection grows and lasting change 618 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 4: takes root. 619 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 1: You can find the link to join us in the 620 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 1: show Notes. 621 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 4: Love Life Sober is part of the Life Audio podcast Network, 622 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 4: where faith centered podcasts help you grow deeper in your 623 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 4: walk with Christ. You can find more faith centered podcasts 624 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 4: at lifeaudio dot com. Until next time, be gentle with yourself, 625 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 4: stay curious, and trust God's promises. 626 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: He has freedom waiting for you. 627 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 2: Hey, friends, as Carol's story illustrates, shame tells us to hide, 628 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 2: but Jesus invites us into his healing and transformative light. 629 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 2: If today's episode spoke to you, consider sending it to 630 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 2: a friend who feels stuck, exhausted, or afraid they've wandered 631 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 2: too far from God's grace. And if you haven't already 632 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 2: followed faith over fear, for more conversations. And if you 633 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,479 Speaker 2: haven't already follow faith over fear, for more conversations rooted 634 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 2: in biblical hope and honest faith. Until next time, may 635 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: you live as one who truly has been set free,