1 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: Life Audio. This is Donna Jones and you are listening 2 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: to That's just what I needed. Hey, friend, if you've 3 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: ever been in. 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 2: A conversation where you've walked away thinking, Wow, that was 5 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: just what I needed. You know how life giving that 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 2: can be, Well, that's what this podcast is all about. 7 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: We're women who want to know, love, and follow God 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 2: in our real lives, but sometimes wonder just how to 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 2: do it. So each week we'll talk about what following 10 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 2: God looks like in the midst of daily demands and 11 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,480 Speaker 2: crazy cultural chaos. Because this isn't just what we need, 12 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: it's actually exactly what we need. 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: Hey, hey, my friend, and welcome to the podcast. I 14 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: am so glad you are here. We're going to do 15 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: something a little different today just because it's my podcast, 16 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: so I thought I would. We're going to just be 17 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: a little bit more friend to friend today. I'll tell 18 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: you what's kind of going on in my life and 19 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: then why we're doing this on the podcast. So at 20 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: my home church we are going through my book Healthy 21 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: Conflict Peaceful Life. Now. I did not actually want to 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 1: do this. I'm just kind of one of those people. 23 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: It's like, if it's my thing, I just don't like to, 24 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, publicize it, promote it, whatever. But the 25 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: women in my church were like, no, no, no, we 26 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: really want to go through this book. I said, Okay. 27 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: So we're reading through this book and I'm kind of 28 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: writing a little supplemental Bible study to go along with it, 29 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:38,400 Speaker 1: and I'm teaching every week, and I have realized afresh 30 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: how much we all need relationship help. Whether it's with 31 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: a spouse or with a child, or with a friend, 32 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: or with a neighbor or a coworker or an in law. 33 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: There's just nothing that makes our life either greater or 34 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: harder than our relationships. And so as we've been doing 35 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: this Bible study, it is just the conversation has been 36 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: so real life, so rich, and so biblical that I thought, 37 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to take an episode and 38 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: just talk about one of the topics that I've been 39 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: teaching on, and in fact, it's what I taught on 40 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: today at my home church Bible study. So I've been 41 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: thinking a lot about unity and how when there's unity 42 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: in a relationship, how it just blesses our lives. And 43 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: it made me think about Psalm one thirty three. I'm 44 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: going to read it to you. It's not very long, 45 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: it's just a couple of lines, and I want to 46 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: make some observations I think really gonna bless you. So 47 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: this is David writing how good and pleasant it is 48 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: when God's people live together in unity? I could just 49 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: pause right there. You know that's true. Right, when your 50 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: family is all living together in unity and everyone's laughing 51 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: and they're getting along, whether it's your immediate family, your 52 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: extended family, I mean, it's great, right. Or think of 53 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: it at your friend group, when you're together with your 54 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: friends and your friends are encouraging to one another and 55 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: they're uplifting to one another, and they are just elevating 56 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: your spiritual life, it's great, right, Or maybe even your 57 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: professional life when you're working together as a team with 58 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 1: your coworkers, I mean, work is great. So we know 59 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,239 Speaker 1: that intuitively what God's word says is true, how good 60 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity. 61 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: And then the passage goes on to give an analogy. 62 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: It's like precious oil poured on the head, running down 63 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down on 64 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: the collar of his robe. In the Old Testament, really 65 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: and in the New Testament, oil was a symbol of anointing, 66 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: of God's anointing. So this is saying, It's like God's 67 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: anointing is just like on Aaron who was the high priest, 68 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: on his head, and it was just so overflowing that 69 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: not only was it on the top of his head, 70 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: but it just like ran down onto the collar of 71 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 1: his robe. It was just abundant, is what this is saying. 72 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: And then the last line of this particular Psalms on 73 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: one thirty three says these words, for there the Lord 74 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: bestows his blessing even life forevermore. Now, several years ago 75 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: I was reading the Psalm and this particular line caught 76 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: me because it says, for there where is there, There 77 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: is wherever God's people dwell together in unity or live 78 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: together in unity, For there the Lord bestows his blessing, 79 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: even life evermore. When we live in unity, either in 80 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: our homes or with our friend group, or with our 81 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,679 Speaker 1: church or any kind of group. When there's unity, God 82 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,919 Speaker 1: bestows his blessing. And I don't even have to know 83 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: you personally to know that you want to live in 84 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: light of God's blessing. Well, one of the ways that 85 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: you are able to do. That is when your relationships 86 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: are marked by unity, because there God bestows his blessing. 87 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: This also means that if unity is the place where 88 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: God bestows his blessing, then that is also the place 89 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: that the devil goes over time to make sure we 90 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: don't experience unity. Because the devil doesn't want you to 91 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 1: be blessed. He doesn't want me to be blessed, so 92 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: he does everything in his power to create disunity in 93 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: our relationships with our kids, with our spouse, with our friends, 94 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: with our church, with our coworkers, with our neighbors, with 95 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: our communities, with our world. So then the question becomes 96 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: if we want God's blessing, and we do, and we 97 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: know that God's blessing is bestowed where there is unity, 98 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 1: then the question becomes, okay, then how do we get 99 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: and just as important, maintain unity. Well, the topic of 100 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,600 Speaker 1: today's Bible study was on the topic of humility. And 101 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: here is what I wrote about in my book Healthy Conflict, 102 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: Peaceful Life, because I've lived this in real life in 103 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 1: so many ways, both successfully and honestly sometimes not so successfully. 104 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: And that's the fact that when it comes to relationship, 105 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: the foundation is not actually an action. The foundation of 106 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: good relationships is an attitude, and that attitude is humility. 107 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: In fact, I would go so far as to say 108 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: that it is impossible to have unity without humility. And 109 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: the Bible backs this up. By the way, this is 110 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,799 Speaker 1: what it says in one Peter five. In the same way, 111 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: you who are younger submit yourselves to the elders. All 112 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. Because 113 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. 114 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: Humble yourselves therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may 115 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 1: lift you up in due time, Cast all your anxiety 116 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: on him, because he cares for you. Be alert and 117 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: sobermind your enemy. The devil prowls around like a roaring line, 118 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: looking for someone to devour. So resist him, standing firm 119 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: in the faith, because you know that the family of 120 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 121 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 1: And the God of all grace, who called you into 122 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a 123 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, 124 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: firm and steadfast to Him be the power forever and ever. 125 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: Amen in this passage of scripture, and it's actually one 126 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: of my favorite passages of the Scripture. Here in vers 127 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: few or five, we have three commands and three promises. 128 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: And these three commands and these three promises give us 129 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: some tracks to run on in terms of how to 130 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 1: live a life where we experience unity and we have 131 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: the best shot of having the blessed relationships that we 132 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: want to have. Now, it's interesting because this is not 133 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,559 Speaker 1: a passage that most people think about when they think 134 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: about biblical relationships. And in fact, if you know this 135 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: passage at all, you've probably heard some of these verses, 136 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: but probably not heard them altogether. I mean, you may 137 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: have heard God oppose it the prow that gives grace 138 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: to the humble, or you may have heard that your enemy, 139 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: the devil, prows around like a roaring lion, seeking someone 140 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: to devour. Or you may have heard the verse cast 141 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: all your cares upon him because he cares for you. 142 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: But I bet you've never heard all three of these 143 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: as they relate to each other. And that's where we're 144 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: going in the next couple of minutes together. So here's 145 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: the first command and promise that God gives in order 146 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: for us to have good relationships. The first command is 147 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: to humble ourselves. Okay, so this is really important. What 148 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: does that mean? To humble ourselves? Because humility is really 149 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: widely misunderstood. Humility is not the same thing as humiliation. 150 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 1: Being humble is just to have an accurate assessment of yourself. 151 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: Being humble is in relationship, to think not just about me, 152 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 1: but to think about you and me. Let me read 153 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: you just a couple lines from my book Healthy Conflict, 154 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: Peaceful Life. So we're all on the same page about 155 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: what humility is and what it isn't. Humility is one 156 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: of the most misunderstood and overlooked attributes necessary for conflict resolution. 157 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,439 Speaker 1: Let's face it, Humility is not sexy like emotional chemistry. 158 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: It's not practical like empathetic listening. It's not even a 159 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: no brainer like decent communication skills. But without humility, we 160 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: can easily become manipulative, calculating, controlling, or uncaring. And without humility, 161 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 1: other people won't genuinely cooperate with our efforts to resolve conflict. 162 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: Humility is the superpower necessary for healthy human relationships. Now 163 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 1: here's what humility looks like. Humility enables us to see 164 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 1: problems from another's perspective, to apologize when wrong, to forgive 165 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 1: when wronged, to examine how we might have contributed to 166 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 1: a conflict, to learn from mistakes, to follow God's instructions 167 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,199 Speaker 1: as we relate to others, and to trust God with outcomes. 168 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: Humility is not a mark of weakness, but a mark 169 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: of strength. Biblical humility doesn't make us doormats for exploitation. 170 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: It makes us doorways for conversation. When our son Taylor 171 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: got married, one of the lines that he said in 172 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: his personalized wedding vowels hit me so profoundly when he 173 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: said it. He said, I promise to seek to understand 174 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: as much as I seek to be understood. That is 175 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: such a great picture of humility, because pride says I 176 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: want you to know what I think. I want you 177 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: to know that I'm right. I want you to do 178 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: things my way. I want you to see my perspective. 179 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: But humility says, yes, of course, I want you to 180 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 1: know my perspective, my thoughts, my opinions. But you know 181 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 1: what I also want to know yours. That's humility. That's 182 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: why humility is so important as it relates to a relationship. 183 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: Because pride makes people feel controlled because, let's just face it, 184 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: pride is controlling, but humility makes people feel cared for. Okay, 185 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: I want you to think about those words, and I 186 00:10:56,679 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: want you to think about your best relationships, your best relationships. 187 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,079 Speaker 1: Do you feel controlled or do you feel cared for? 188 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: You feel cared for? Right? You hate relationships? Or you 189 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: feel controlled? I mean, I know I do. But let's 190 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: flip that. How do people that we relate to our children, 191 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: our husband, our daughter in law, our coworker, our neighbor 192 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: when they relate to us. Do they walk away thinking, Wow, 193 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: I really feel cared for by her? Or do they 194 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: feel like, okay, I feel controlled by her. That's going 195 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: to make a difference in the quality of our relationship 196 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: and the unity and the blessing that we experience in 197 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: our relationship. So we got to start with humility. Okay, 198 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break, and when we 199 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: come back, we're going to look at the second two 200 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: aspects of developing unity so that we can experience blessing. Okay, 201 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: So we were talking about humility. Being humble is not 202 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 1: something somebody else makes you do. It's something that you 203 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: choose to do. I'm choosing to be humble in the 204 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 1: way I relate to this other person. And it says, 205 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. Well, honestly, 206 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: what does that mean for a person like you, person 207 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: like me, person that just is live in our lives 208 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,719 Speaker 1: doing the best we can. What does that mean to 209 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. It's not 210 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: as complicated as it might first seem. It simply just 211 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: means choosing to do things God's way. It's just saying, God, 212 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: you're the sovereign one, and You've told me that I 213 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 1: should behave in such such way, or value these priorities, 214 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: or humble myself and my relationships with others, or be 215 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: kind or compassionate, And so I'm humbling myself under your 216 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: mighty hand. And it just means I'm going to do 217 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 1: things your way rather than my way. I'm going to 218 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: live my life based on my fate rather than my feelings. 219 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: I heard somebody say one time, and I just love this. 220 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: Our feelings can be in the car, they just can't drive. 221 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: And I think that is so great because oftentimes when 222 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: we are driven by our feelings, then humility is like 223 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 1: the last thing that we want to be. But when 224 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: we humble ourselves under God's mighty hand, we're saying, Lord, 225 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: I don't always feel like doing things your way, but 226 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: because I love you, I'm going to choose to do 227 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: things your way. That's humility, that's humbling yourself under the 228 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,679 Speaker 1: mighty hand of God. And then there's a promise to this. 229 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: God says, I'm opposed to the proud, but I give 230 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 1: grace to the humble. This is humble yourselves so that 231 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: God may lift you up at the proper time. Several 232 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: weeks ago, one of my little grand babies, who's three, 233 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: broke a decorative item in my house. So I'm standing 234 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: at my kitchen sink and he walks over and he 235 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: tugs on my pant leg and I looked down and 236 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: I said yes, And he said, geet, I broke your 237 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: pretty thing that was on your coffee table. Now, how 238 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: do you think I responded to him. Well, I looked 239 00:13:55,120 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: down at him, and I leaned toward him and I said, oh, oh, sweetie, 240 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: thank you so much for telling me. But it is okay. 241 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: And then I picked him up in my arms and 242 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 1: I gave him this big hug, and all was well right. Well, 243 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: in the original Greek. That word God gives grace our 244 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: favor to the humble. That word grace it literally means 245 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: a leaning toward the object that is favored. When my 246 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: three year old humbled himself by admitting what he did wrong, 247 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 1: he didn't try to hide it or excuse it or 248 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 1: justified it, but he was honest about it. He was humble. 249 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: Then what did I do? I bent down, I leaned forward, 250 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: and then the first Peter says, God will lift us 251 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 1: up at the proper time. What did I do? I 252 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: lifted him up into my hands and I gave him 253 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: the biggest hug. That's what God is talking about. That's 254 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: the blessing that we get from God. And it's also 255 00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 1: the blessing that we pave for our relationships when we 256 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: just humble ourselves. So that's the first command and the 257 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: first promise. The second command and the second promise is 258 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: this cast all your cares upon him, because he cares 259 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: for you. So the command is to cast your anxieties 260 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: upon the Lord. And that word anxieties in the original 261 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: language means you're fractured parts. Now how does this relate 262 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: to relationships? Well, I don't even have to tell you 263 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: that when you are sideways with someone, you feel fractured inside, 264 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: don't you. I mean, I know I do. It's an 265 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: anxious feeling. It's not a calm, peaceful feeling. It's a 266 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 1: feeling that you feel stirred up inside, kind of tumultuous inside, 267 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: worried inside. Just keep replaying it over and over in 268 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: your mind, and why did they say this? And I 269 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 1: wish I'd said that, and all kinds of things, and 270 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: we're just not at peace. So this isn't just cast 271 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: all your anxieties about anything upon the Lord, although that's true, 272 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: but in the context of relationships, you cast all your 273 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: anxieties about your relationship upon the Lord. Because sometimes also 274 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: even just the fact of humbling ourselves can cause anxiety. 275 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: It can make us think, okay, well, what if I 276 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: humble myself and they don't respond in the way I 277 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: hope that they respond, Or does that mean like I 278 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: have to say something? Oh that just sounds horrible, Or 279 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: maybe it means I shouldn't say something and I really 280 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: want to say something, And so all of those thoughts 281 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 1: can stir up anxiety in us when it comes to relationships. 282 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: So God says, hey, those anxieties that you feel I 283 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: want you to cast those on me. And this word 284 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: cast is only used one other time in the New Testament. 285 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: It's used to refer to when the people cast their 286 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: coats on the ground when Jesuless rowe into Jerusalem on 287 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: a donkey and they wave their palm branches at him 288 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: on Palm Sunday. So it was they threw their coats 289 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: on the so that Jesus would have a path into 290 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: Jerusalem in peace. It's kind of the same thing. We 291 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 1: throw our anxieties before the Lord so that Jesus can 292 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 1: have a path to give us the peace that we 293 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 1: long for. And then the promise is this, cast all 294 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 1: your cares or anxieties upon him because he cares for you. 295 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: And then the original Greek language, it's literally rendered this 296 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: way because with him there is care all about you 297 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: or all around you. Just let me say that again, 298 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: because maybe you just need to hear that. Cast your anxieties, 299 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: the ones that you are feeling right now on him. 300 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 1: Why should you do that? Because with him, with God, 301 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 1: there is care all about you. That's how God feels 302 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: about you. And you won't experience that care until you 303 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: decide to cast your cares or anxieties upon him. But 304 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 1: if you'll do that, you will. So how do you 305 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 1: do that? Well, you just talk to God about your anxieties. 306 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 1: That's the most basic, simplest thing. Just tell God, I 307 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 1: don't know how to deal with this anger. I don't 308 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: know how to deal with this hard conversation. I don't 309 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,239 Speaker 1: know how to deal with this hurt. I don't know 310 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: how to deal with this frustration. Lord, I don't know. 311 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,880 Speaker 1: But I'm casting this upon you. I'm talking to you 312 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: about it. I want your input, Lord, I want you 313 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: to speak back to me. I want you to show 314 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: me what to do. That's casting your anxieties upon the 315 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: Lord and then trusting that you can do that because 316 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,199 Speaker 1: he cares about you. So that's the second command and 317 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: the promise. The third one is this, be so reminded, 318 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: resist the devil, and stand firm in your faith. So 319 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: how does this relate to relationships? Well, Frankly, as I 320 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: mentioned at the top of the show, the last thing 321 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 1: your enemy wants is for you to have unity in 322 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,959 Speaker 1: your marriage. The last thing the enemy wants is for 323 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: you to have unity and joy with your kids. The 324 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: last thing the enemy wants is you to be unified 325 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 1: at your church. The last thing the enemy wants is 326 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,120 Speaker 1: for you to be unified with your extended family. That's 327 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: the last thing he wants. So you have to realize 328 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: that's what's going on on a spiritual plane, which is 329 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: why the Bible says you got to be sober minded. 330 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 1: You've got to be alert about this stuff, and then 331 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: you have to resist him and stand for him in 332 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 1: your faith. Okay, So how does this work itself out 333 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 1: in real life? The life for you and I actually live. Well, 334 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 1: the devil makes us think certain things, and he makes 335 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 1: us do certain things. So some of the things that 336 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 1: the devil might put in our minds are things like, okay, 337 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: I hate her, I could never forgive that thing. I 338 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: wish the worst thing would happen to them. Working through 339 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 1: this is just way too uncomfortable, way too hard, and 340 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,880 Speaker 1: nothing will ever change. I'd rather just walk away. Those 341 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,639 Speaker 1: are all things that do not come from the voice 342 00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:00,919 Speaker 1: of God. The devil also influences what we do. You 343 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: know what, I should just let him have it. He 344 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,720 Speaker 1: deserves it. I'm going to leave and never talk to 345 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: that person again. I am not going to go to 346 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: that person directly. I wouldn't even know how they wouldn't 347 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 1: even listen. Anyway, I'm going to talk about the person 348 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: and not to the person. Again, none of those things 349 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: are helpful. None of those things are going to create unity, 350 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: and none of those things come from God. So we 351 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: have to realize the devil can influence our relationships in 352 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,919 Speaker 1: very real ways. A number of years ago, a friend 353 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 1: was relling to me an argument she was having with 354 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: her husband. They were standing in their kitchen and they 355 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 1: were just going toe to toe. I mean, it was 356 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 1: one of those arguments that you know, it was a 357 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: big one, and she was trying to get her point across, 358 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 1: and he was trying to get his point across, and 359 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,159 Speaker 1: she was just getting madder by the second, and so 360 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: was he. And she said, at some point in this conflict, 361 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: her eyes lifted from his face to right above his head. 362 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: And she said, as my eyes lifted to just above 363 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: his head, suddenly I became aware that there was a 364 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: spiritual battle going on in the middle of our kitchen. 365 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 1: And she said, I realized, like, oh, my husband is 366 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 1: not the real enemy. The real enemy is the enemy. 367 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 1: And she said, even in the middle of our argument, 368 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: I started praying for him. I was like, Okay, Lord 369 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: I'm so mad at him right now. But help me 370 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 1: love him. Okay, Lord, I don't want to listen to him, 371 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: but like, help me listen to him, help me see 372 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: his perspective, help me calm down. She said, I just 373 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 1: started praying. And she said that day was an absolute 374 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: game changer for her. Why because she heeded this command. 375 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: She did what the Bible actually says, be alert and 376 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 1: sober minded because your enemy prows around looking for someone 377 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: to devour, and he wants to devour not just you, 378 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 1: he wants to devour your relationships. What does the Bible say, 379 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: Stand firm in the faith and not let it happen. 380 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 1: Be aware that it's happening, and not let it happen. 381 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,399 Speaker 1: And like the other commands, there's a promise with this, 382 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 1: and that promise is this and the God of all grace, 383 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: who called you to His eternal glory in Christ. After 384 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: you have suffered a little while, God promises to make 385 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: you strong and firm and steadfast. And then the first 386 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 1: Peter passage ends with these words to him be the 387 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: power forever and ever. I'm in in the final analysis, 388 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how do we navigate relationships, how 389 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: do we have the best shot at unity, so we 390 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 1: have the best shot at blessing. It's simply to ask 391 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:52,480 Speaker 1: ourselves this question. Is the way I'm handling this relationship, 392 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: the one in front of me right now, is the 393 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,199 Speaker 1: way I'm handling it bringing glory to God, because that, 394 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: my friend, in and of itself, will bring blessing. Well. 395 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I hope it was 396 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: just what you needed. And as a reminder, if we 397 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 1: don't connect on social media, let's do it. You'll find 398 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: me on Instagram at Donna A. Jones. On Facebook, I'm 399 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 1: at Donna Jones, speaker and author, and I have a 400 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: free newsletter that I send out about once a month. 401 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: I would love for you to subscribe to that. You 402 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 1: can go to Donna Jones dot org sign up for 403 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: that free newsletter. And as always, my friend, I can't 404 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: wait to see you next time, for that's just what 405 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: I needed.