1 00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:04,130 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,900 Speaker 2: You are listening to The Beckett Cook Show with your host, 3 00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:17,100 Speaker 2: Beckett Cook. For more information about Beckett and his ministry, 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 2: visit his website at beckettcook.com. To help support the podcast, 5 00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:29,950 Speaker 2: visit patreon.com slash thebeckettcookshow. Please consider subscribing to the podcast 6 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:31,890 Speaker 2: and leaving a five-star rating. 7 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to the show. Today, my guest is 8 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 3: Monica Samuel. She has an amazing story of how God 9 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,860 Speaker 3: rescued her out of a life of 27 years of 10 00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:51,170 Speaker 3: being a lesbian. She was married to a woman for 11 00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:54,250 Speaker 3: five of those years. She went to a gay farming 12 00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:57,970 Speaker 3: church with her wife. She had a Queen James Bible. 13 00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:05,380 Speaker 3: And then she had an unexpected, powerful encounter with Jesus. 14 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,380 Speaker 3: And of course, her entire life changed. And I got 15 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,540 Speaker 3: to say, when I read her story, I was like, 16 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,900 Speaker 3: this is one of the most amazing, powerful stories I've 17 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 3: heard in a long time. But first, a word from 18 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:22,410 Speaker 3: our sponsor. So please watch till the end and welcome 19 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,140 Speaker 3: Monica Samuel. 20 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:24,310 Speaker 4: Thank you. 21 00:01:26,090 --> 00:01:31,050 Speaker 3: It's good to have you on the show. And as 22 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:35,209 Speaker 3: I said in the intro, when I read your notes 23 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:40,550 Speaker 3: and your story, I was just blown away. This is 24 00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,590 Speaker 3: one of the most amazing stories I've heard in a while. 25 00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:45,390 Speaker 3: And so I'm excited to get into the details. Let's 26 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:51,050 Speaker 3: start with your childhood. You say you had a typical childhood, 27 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,450 Speaker 3: but you moved around a lot because I think your 28 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:56,450 Speaker 3: dad was in the military. How did that affect you? 29 00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:01,450 Speaker 1: Well, because we were moving around so much, you never 30 00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:04,169 Speaker 1: had a chance to make friends very long. So it's 31 00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:06,230 Speaker 1: just like you would be somewhere for a while and 32 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:08,410 Speaker 1: then you'd move and then you had to make friends 33 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:11,310 Speaker 1: again and you'd move again. So I just always felt 34 00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,620 Speaker 1: like I was kind of lonely a lot. 35 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:17,980 Speaker 3: And you considered yourself kind of a tomboy? 36 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,020 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was a tomboy. 37 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,020 Speaker 1: I always remember running around with the boys. I'd ride 38 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: the dirt bike. My dirt bike, I'd play in the mud. 39 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: You know, I liked playing with lizards and snakes and yeah. 40 00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,530 Speaker 3: And then everything began to shift in high school. Talk 41 00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:37,590 Speaker 3: about that in terms of your sexuality. What happened in 42 00:02:37,630 --> 00:02:37,990 Speaker 3: high school? 43 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:41,490 Speaker 1: Well, I played a lot of sports. And so I 44 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:44,549 Speaker 1: was always mainly around women all the time. And I 45 00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:49,270 Speaker 1: remember there was this one girl and I remember being 46 00:02:49,510 --> 00:02:52,470 Speaker 1: at her house and she was just like, do you 47 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: need a back massage? Give me a back rub. And 48 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:57,300 Speaker 1: so I remember her doing that. And I remember I 49 00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: had these feelings in my stomach. And I thought, why 50 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,220 Speaker 1: am I having these feelings? This is for a woman. 51 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,140 Speaker 1: Why am I having that? 52 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,380 Speaker 4: But I did. 53 00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:07,179 Speaker 1: And that's where it started. But I tried to push 54 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: it aside. I just tried to ignore it. 55 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:14,350 Speaker 3: And did your parents have any idea this was going on? 56 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,810 Speaker 3: That you were having these feelings? 57 00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:17,770 Speaker 4: No, my mom and dad had no clue. 58 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:19,810 Speaker 3: Yeah. And then in college. 59 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:28,470 Speaker 3: When did you actually kind of embrace this and come out? 60 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:32,410 Speaker 1: Um, well, when I went to college, um, I, I 61 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:35,610 Speaker 1: had a basketball scholarship. So everybody on my team, basically 62 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:39,220 Speaker 1: almost everybody was lesbians on my team. And so at first, 63 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,380 Speaker 1: you know, I was honestly terrified of them at first. 64 00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,380 Speaker 4: Cause I was just like, I don't. 65 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,700 Speaker 1: Want to be around these people. Like, you know, what 66 00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: if I catch the gay or something? I was only saying, but, um, 67 00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,020 Speaker 1: I don't know. You got used to the people on 68 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,700 Speaker 1: your team, but like, um, I just remember like I 69 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,540 Speaker 1: was in my dorm room one day and I was 70 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:58,410 Speaker 1: in the lobby and I was on the computer doing 71 00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,390 Speaker 1: some homework and a girl came up to me and 72 00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:02,369 Speaker 1: she just started talking to me. And then she just 73 00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:05,290 Speaker 1: kept coming and talking to me and kept coming and 74 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,950 Speaker 1: talking to me. And then she would walk with me 75 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:11,820 Speaker 1: to class. And so that's how it started was she 76 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: just started talking to me. And, you know, I think 77 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: also like I was kind of lonely, you know, and 78 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,220 Speaker 1: I didn't really know a lot of people except for 79 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,630 Speaker 1: the people on my team. And I think that her 80 00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,770 Speaker 1: giving me attention was something that I needed because I 81 00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:26,890 Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of that. Even as a child, 82 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:29,710 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I had affection and love for 83 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:33,510 Speaker 1: my mom and dad. So just having somebody being affectionate 84 00:04:33,529 --> 00:04:36,250 Speaker 1: to me, I was just like, okay, I like this. 85 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 4: So, yeah. 86 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 3: And so what did you think of boys at the time? 87 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,980 Speaker 3: I mean, were you just not interested at all? 88 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,700 Speaker 1: I actually remember in high school for a while, I 89 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,460 Speaker 1: did date a boy, but it was. 90 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,099 Speaker 4: More of just. 91 00:04:49,779 --> 00:04:50,140 Speaker 4: I don't know. 92 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 93 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: It wasn't like really anything I cared about really, but 94 00:04:53,779 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: it was just like, okay, I'll do this because I 95 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 1: don't know. 96 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,700 Speaker 4: I'm having these mixed emotions in my head. 97 00:04:57,860 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: And then it was, and I did date a guy 98 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,750 Speaker 1: for a while, but it just never, I was like, no, 99 00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:03,650 Speaker 1: it's not for me. 100 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:04,230 Speaker 4: So. 101 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:08,810 Speaker 3: And, um, you say that you, you hid this whole 102 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:13,790 Speaker 3: thing from, uh, I think for seven years you had your, 103 00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:17,940 Speaker 3: your same sex relationships from your parents and, When you eventually, 104 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,380 Speaker 3: when did they find out and what was their reaction? 105 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:25,470 Speaker 1: Yeah, after about seven years, a lot of my friends, 106 00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:27,810 Speaker 1: they kept telling me, well, they'll find out and then 107 00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:30,190 Speaker 1: it won't be a big deal. Like, you know, our 108 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,289 Speaker 1: family gave in in six months. And I just said, 109 00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:34,730 Speaker 1: I don't think they will do that because my mom 110 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,650 Speaker 1: and dad didn't go to church, but my dad did 111 00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: read the Bible a lot. And I think that he 112 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,300 Speaker 1: was really strict about the Bible, like very religious about it. 113 00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:47,150 Speaker 1: And so, um, that was one reason why I was afraid. 114 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:50,630 Speaker 1: And I actually remember it was at Christmas. I was 115 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:51,410 Speaker 1: going to tell my. 116 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:51,940 Speaker 4: Mom and dad. 117 00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: And then my dad was just like, um, he was 118 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: complaining about gays being in the military. He said, I 119 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: can't stand those gays. And why are they in the military? 120 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: And then he complained about a neighbor that moved in 121 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: that was gay. 122 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 4: And so then I was like, okay, I'm not going 123 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,229 Speaker 4: to say anything. 124 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:12,700 Speaker 1: But, um, the girl that I was dating at the time, um, her, 125 00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:14,980 Speaker 1: a family member had been ill. So then I had 126 00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:16,339 Speaker 1: to leave. I was at my mom and dad's for 127 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:18,229 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving and I had to leave right away. So my 128 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:21,030 Speaker 1: mom called me and she just said, okay, I know 129 00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:25,029 Speaker 1: something's going on. I'm suspicious that you're, um, probably dating 130 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:27,469 Speaker 1: a woman. So then I finally, I did, I told them. 131 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,510 Speaker 1: And then my mom was, she said, well, you have 132 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: a choice. You can either choose the person you're with 133 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,180 Speaker 1: or choose us. And I just said, I don't want 134 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: to have to choose anybody. Um, so then my mom 135 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,580 Speaker 1: just said that they didn't want to talk to me. 136 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 1: And so it went on for 20 years where they 137 00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:42,580 Speaker 1: didn't talk to me. 138 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 139 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 3: Wow. 140 00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. 141 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 3: Are they talking to you now? 142 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,870 Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, it's slow, but it's, I mean, it's just 143 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:52,710 Speaker 1: different because you go 20 years not knowing them. And 144 00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:55,730 Speaker 1: then it's almost like I had to relearn them all 145 00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:58,450 Speaker 1: over again, like all of my family basically. Cause even 146 00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:01,210 Speaker 1: some of my nieces and nephews were really little and 147 00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,150 Speaker 1: then now it's like they're older. So it was just 148 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,270 Speaker 1: so weird for me. 149 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,460 Speaker 4: Yeah. 150 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 151 00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:10,100 Speaker 3: And then you, um, you said, you say that you had, 152 00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:15,890 Speaker 3: really bad experiences with Christians like Westboro Baptist. Talk about that, 153 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:17,710 Speaker 3: how that affected you. 154 00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:22,170 Speaker 1: Well, I remember going to the pride events and they 155 00:07:22,190 --> 00:07:25,260 Speaker 1: would be standing out there and they had the pride 156 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,020 Speaker 1: flag and then they had like all these signs and 157 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: like the signs they were holding up just said like 158 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: fags will burn and rot in hell. And like, I 159 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,350 Speaker 1: remember like they had this noose and And, like, they had, like, 160 00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:37,350 Speaker 1: a doll hanging from the noose. And then it just 161 00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,710 Speaker 1: had the pride flag on it. And it said, like, 162 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,310 Speaker 1: I mean, they said all kinds of horrible things. And 163 00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:44,490 Speaker 1: I just thought, is this what Christians are? Like, if 164 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: this is really what Christians are, I don't want to 165 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: have anything to do with them at all. And so 166 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: that was, like, my first experience with them. But I remember, like, 167 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,740 Speaker 1: the girl I was dating, I was like, I'm tired 168 00:07:55,780 --> 00:07:57,940 Speaker 1: of these people. So I remember taking her over. And 169 00:07:57,980 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: we stood right in front of them. And I remember, like, 170 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:02,110 Speaker 1: pulling her toward me. And I started kissing her. 171 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:03,390 Speaker 4: In front of them. 172 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,410 Speaker 1: And then like this news crew comes over and I 173 00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:09,350 Speaker 1: remember I may have said some not great words, you know? 174 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,420 Speaker 1: And then, um, I just remember walking away, but I 175 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: was really angry cause I was just like, how can 176 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: people be like that? 177 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 4: How can they, they treat you like that? 178 00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 3: And, but you also had a complicated relationship with, with 179 00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 3: pride events. Talk about that. 180 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,110 Speaker 1: Um, well, when I was going to the pride events, I, um, 181 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:33,030 Speaker 1: At first, it was okay because I felt like I 182 00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:36,170 Speaker 1: could be myself. But then it's like I started to 183 00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:38,790 Speaker 1: see the floats going by. And I remember one of 184 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: them had these men on them in their thongs. And 185 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,860 Speaker 1: then I saw these little boys. And there was little 186 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:46,140 Speaker 1: boys with them in thongs. And they were all dancing 187 00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 1: together on the poles. And I just thought, oh, my gosh, 188 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: I feel really disgusting being here, like seeing these little 189 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,510 Speaker 1: kids and these men dancing on the poles. And that's 190 00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:58,189 Speaker 1: when I started to question, like, what pride was all 191 00:08:58,230 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: about and everything. I just, I didn't ever want to 192 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,660 Speaker 1: go back again. It just, I don't know, it just 193 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 1: very much disturbed me, I guess. 194 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 4: I felt disgusted being there. 195 00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:11,459 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I talked about this before on the show, 196 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,729 Speaker 3: but I had kind of the same ambivalence with Pride. 197 00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:17,650 Speaker 3: When I was living that life, I would go to 198 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:21,270 Speaker 3: Pride events and part of me kind of liked the 199 00:09:21,309 --> 00:09:23,890 Speaker 3: camaraderie a little bit, but then most of me was 200 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:30,380 Speaker 3: just sort of like, these guys on floats just gyrating 201 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 3: in their speedos and like, it's just so gross. It's 202 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:40,260 Speaker 3: so over the top. And yeah, I just, I was 203 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 3: kind of like turned off by that a lot. In fact, 204 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,700 Speaker 3: I didn't actually go to pride very, I went very little. 205 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,140 Speaker 3: I only went to, I don't know, a handful of 206 00:09:49,179 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 3: pride events in my life. But I get that. I mean, 207 00:09:53,179 --> 00:09:55,550 Speaker 3: it is, it is, I mean, the. 208 00:09:55,470 --> 00:10:00,580 Speaker 5: Gay guys could really, Can really uh do you know 209 00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 5: make make a mess out of things we'll be right 210 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,940 Speaker 5: back after this short break okay so. 211 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:13,030 Speaker 3: Uh then things started to change who is brianna and 212 00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,790 Speaker 3: why what was going on with. 213 00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:19,750 Speaker 1: That so um when Uh, I was, we had bought, 214 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:22,630 Speaker 1: I had a house with my, um, we weren't married 215 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,170 Speaker 1: at the time when she, well, we actually were, we 216 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,250 Speaker 1: were married at the time when she moved in. Um, 217 00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: so we would rent our basement to traveling nurses. And 218 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,079 Speaker 1: so she was, uh, moved into my basement and I 219 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,500 Speaker 1: remember like she was so happy and full of joy. 220 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,180 Speaker 1: And I'm just like, how could one person be so happy? 221 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,439 Speaker 1: Like it was like extremely happy. 222 00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 4: And so she. 223 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: Started talking to me about God and she said, God 224 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,410 Speaker 1: is the reason why she was happy. And like, I 225 00:10:44,429 --> 00:10:46,350 Speaker 1: didn't really know a whole lot about God. So then 226 00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:48,590 Speaker 1: she just kind of started talking to me here and 227 00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:49,770 Speaker 1: there about him. 228 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 4: And I liked it. 229 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: I liked talking to her about it. But my wife 230 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: did not like it at all. Like she just did 231 00:10:57,420 --> 00:10:59,820 Speaker 1: not like her talking to me about it. Like she 232 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,380 Speaker 1: would come upstairs and hang out for a while and 233 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:03,780 Speaker 1: she would. 234 00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:04,270 Speaker 4: Talk about it. 235 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:07,500 Speaker 1: But yeah, she she's the first person that came into 236 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,660 Speaker 1: my life. Yeah, that started talking to me about God. 237 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,550 Speaker 1: And she said that when she took her assignment and 238 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 1: found out that I was married at first, she wasn't 239 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: sure because she's like, do I really want to go 240 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: to this? And she said she prayed about it and 241 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,420 Speaker 1: felt like the Lord really wanted her to come. 242 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 4: So that's what she did. 243 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:25,670 Speaker 3: Yeah. Divine appointment for sure. And so you and your wife, 244 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:28,150 Speaker 3: so you were married for five years, correct? Yeah. 245 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:30,810 Speaker 1: I was with her 16 years and then we were 246 00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:32,390 Speaker 1: married for five of those years. 247 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:32,870 Speaker 4: So, yeah. 248 00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:39,870 Speaker 3: And then you guys started, you were going to a 249 00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:41,510 Speaker 3: gay affirming church, right? 250 00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:42,270 Speaker 4: Yeah. 251 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:47,430 Speaker 3: Um, and then what, what happened, what, what started to 252 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:49,709 Speaker 3: change in you as you were going to this gay 253 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:50,430 Speaker 3: affirming church? 254 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: Um, well, after we got married, um, we went there 255 00:11:55,720 --> 00:12:00,100 Speaker 1: and the pastor, she actually sat us down and she was, um, 256 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,140 Speaker 1: telling us, I was asking her about scripture and I 257 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: was just like, well, what about what the Bible says? 258 00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,700 Speaker 1: I don't know why I just started asking her. and 259 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,620 Speaker 1: because we'd never really gone to church and she said 260 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: well this is really what these scriptures mean and it's 261 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:16,370 Speaker 1: okay so she was twisting around the scriptures about homosexuality 262 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,610 Speaker 1: and um and i actually had a queen james bible 263 00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:23,809 Speaker 1: and so that was the bible that i used um 264 00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:25,689 Speaker 1: i picked it up because you know i said it 265 00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:28,850 Speaker 1: was for people who are in in homosexual lifestyle and 266 00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:31,130 Speaker 1: so when i picked it up yeah i was reading 267 00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,370 Speaker 1: those scriptures in there and to me i was like 268 00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:36,940 Speaker 1: i'm good i'm fine you know but um Yeah, when 269 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:41,500 Speaker 1: I was in there at that church, I just remember 270 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,990 Speaker 1: one day I was sitting there and I was looking 271 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:47,750 Speaker 1: around at everybody because they would sing weird songs there 272 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,510 Speaker 1: about Scooby-Doo and. 273 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,770 Speaker 4: It was weird stuff. 274 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:55,710 Speaker 1: And then the pastor opened up a can of beer 275 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 1: at the altar. And so she had a table over 276 00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 1: here and she's just like, this is how I am 277 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,860 Speaker 1: when I hang out with my friends. And she starts 278 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,980 Speaker 1: drinking this beer and then she goes over to the 279 00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:06,110 Speaker 1: podium and And she's like, this is how I am 280 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,750 Speaker 1: when I'm the pastor of the church. Then she'd go 281 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: back over, drink some more, go back over and explain. 282 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 1: Then she'd come back over and unbutton her shirt. And 283 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 1: it said, like, SHIT happens. And I'm like, what is 284 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: going on here? Like, what kind of church is this? Like, 285 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: I was starting to question all that kind of stuff, 286 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,070 Speaker 1: you know. And then, yeah, it was crazy. But then 287 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,390 Speaker 1: one day I was actually sitting there in the church. 288 00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:32,630 Speaker 1: And I saw, like, the whole entire floor just split open. 289 00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:33,750 Speaker 4: I mean, it split open. 290 00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:40,580 Speaker 1: And then like the pews and the altar and the podium, 291 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,819 Speaker 1: it like all fell into the ground. And then every 292 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: person in there fell in. And I could hear like 293 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,740 Speaker 1: the worst screams I ever heard in my life. Like 294 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,940 Speaker 1: I've never in my life heard screams like that. 295 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,220 Speaker 3: This was like a vision. 296 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,940 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a vision. 297 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a vision that I had seen while 298 00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,090 Speaker 1: I was sitting there. And it, I mean, it terrified me. 299 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,630 Speaker 1: And then it was real fast. And the next thing 300 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:06,170 Speaker 1: I know, I look around the whole church and they're 301 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,740 Speaker 1: all just singing and they're listening to the pastor. And 302 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 1: I look over at my wife and I'm covered in sweat. 303 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,080 Speaker 1: And she's just like, what is wrong with you? 304 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,220 Speaker 4: And I'm like, nothing. 305 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,060 Speaker 1: Cause I was thinking I was nuts. I didn't know 306 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,340 Speaker 1: what was going on. I just thought, man, I think 307 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:23,010 Speaker 1: I'm crazy or something. And so we left and, uh, 308 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,070 Speaker 1: Even before that, I would used to sit in my 309 00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:28,450 Speaker 1: backyard and say, hey, God, if you're real. 310 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: Can you tell me or can you show me if 311 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:31,460 Speaker 4: you're really real? I'd look up at the. 312 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:37,740 Speaker 1: Stars and say it and stuff. But then we went back. 313 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,420 Speaker 4: Have you heard of the Asbury Revival? 314 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,500 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. 315 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,130 Speaker 1: Yeah, so this all took place near the time of 316 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,090 Speaker 1: the Asbury Revival. And so I would get up at 317 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,830 Speaker 1: night and watch it, and I'd be like, what is 318 00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,870 Speaker 1: this thing? And I would say, what's the big deal 319 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,510 Speaker 1: about this God? I'd always say, what's the big deal 320 00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:55,090 Speaker 1: about this God? And so I would watch it and 321 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:57,270 Speaker 1: I was like obsessed with it. Like I'd sneak out 322 00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:58,170 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. 323 00:14:58,010 --> 00:14:58,580 Speaker 4: And watch it. 324 00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: And then during the day, and I was just like, 325 00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: why are all these people coming here? 326 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 4: Like, this is so neat. 327 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: And so when I went back to that church two 328 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 1: weeks later to my church, they said, we're going to 329 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: do an altar call. And I was just like, what 330 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,860 Speaker 1: is an altar call? Like I had no idea what 331 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,870 Speaker 1: it was. And so after she explained it, she was 332 00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,710 Speaker 1: just like, that's where you go up and you pray 333 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,890 Speaker 1: for money and new houses and cars. 334 00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:20,850 Speaker 4: And I was just like, really? That's what you do? 335 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:23,010 Speaker 4: I was like, that's okay. 336 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: And so, so like people were going up there and 337 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: they were praying for that. But like when I went 338 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:30,340 Speaker 1: up there, I just remember like looking around like this 339 00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: and I was making sure nobody was near me. And 340 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: I just said, God, if you really are real and 341 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,460 Speaker 1: you show me that, I was like, you're going to 342 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,750 Speaker 1: have to help me. You're going to have to do 343 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,310 Speaker 1: something like you need to show me something. And I 344 00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:43,250 Speaker 1: remember I started crying and then I went back to 345 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,110 Speaker 1: my seat and then my wife was like, why are 346 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,750 Speaker 1: you crying? What are you crying about? 347 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:47,490 Speaker 4: And I was like, nothing. 348 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: And so, We get up and we go to leave 349 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: the church. And as we're walking out, I hear this 350 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:57,330 Speaker 1: whisper and I'm looking around and I'm just like looking 351 00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:59,030 Speaker 1: and I can't figure out what it is. And then 352 00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:00,490 Speaker 1: all of a sudden I hear this voice and I 353 00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,750 Speaker 1: turn around and I look at that church and the 354 00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:05,770 Speaker 1: voice said, if you ever look back again, you'll turn into. 355 00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:06,370 Speaker 4: A pillar of salt. 356 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:09,370 Speaker 1: And then I saw the whole church just crumble down 357 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:12,260 Speaker 1: into salt. And then I was standing there and I 358 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: saw myself blow away and I was thinking, where did 359 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:14,580 Speaker 1: I go? 360 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,070 Speaker 4: What happened? And that really, really scared me. I mean, 361 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,390 Speaker 4: it freaked me out so bad. 362 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,190 Speaker 1: And that was the moment where I was like, okay, 363 00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:22,750 Speaker 1: I got to change my life. Like I have to 364 00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:23,450 Speaker 1: do something here. 365 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:24,850 Speaker 2: Wow. 366 00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. Did your relationship with your wife go downhill after 367 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:30,820 Speaker 3: that experience? 368 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,060 Speaker 4: Uh, yeah. 369 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: When I went back to the house, um, well, like 370 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,420 Speaker 1: my relationship, um, it kind of started to get a 371 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 1: little abusive at one point. 372 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:44,870 Speaker 4: And so she was very controlling a lot over me. 373 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,940 Speaker 1: And so, uh, when I told her that I was 374 00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:51,450 Speaker 1: thinking about leaving, I was wanting to follow the Lord. 375 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,510 Speaker 1: She just kind of told me that I was crazy 376 00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,550 Speaker 1: and that I was leaving for a cult. And so 377 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:59,030 Speaker 1: that's where I'm thankful that Brianna came into my life 378 00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:01,470 Speaker 1: because after she stayed in my house for a while, 379 00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:04,030 Speaker 1: she moved and got her own house. And so then 380 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,610 Speaker 1: I just said, you know what, I'm going to go 381 00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:07,629 Speaker 1: to Brianna's house. So I packed a bag and I 382 00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,389 Speaker 1: went over there for a while. I think I was 383 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:12,860 Speaker 1: there for like, uh, probably like I started out there 384 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:13,900 Speaker 1: about six weeks. 385 00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:15,900 Speaker 4: Um, When I was there. 386 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,620 Speaker 1: And that's when she brought me to the church that 387 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: I go to now. 388 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 4: So we went in there. 389 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:27,130 Speaker 3: So when you left and moved to Brianna's, was your 390 00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:28,450 Speaker 3: wife devastated? 391 00:17:29,869 --> 00:17:34,030 Speaker 4: She was more mad than anything. She just said, well, 392 00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:36,530 Speaker 4: we've tried this before. You'll come back. You'll be fine. 393 00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: But it was never anything with God. It was always 394 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 1: just like, we split up because. 395 00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:43,199 Speaker 4: we were just kind of. 396 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,260 Speaker 1: Toxic for each other. Like we would get together, split up, 397 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:49,700 Speaker 1: get back together. That's how it was with her. But yeah, 398 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: she tried to convince me a lot. She would call me, 399 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,880 Speaker 1: wanted me to come back home and stuff like that. 400 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:55,380 Speaker 4: So yeah. 401 00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:58,970 Speaker 3: And then what happened when you, I think you attended 402 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,629 Speaker 3: Brianna's church. Is that correct? 403 00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:01,629 Speaker 5: Yeah. 404 00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:03,850 Speaker 1: She had actually only been there like a week. Somebody 405 00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:06,570 Speaker 1: invited her. So then she invited me. So like I 406 00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:10,110 Speaker 1: went to the morning service and, And I remember walking 407 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,790 Speaker 1: in there, and, like, the people that were singing, I 408 00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:14,910 Speaker 1: had never heard music like that before. I just thought 409 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: it was so beautiful. And so we were, like, up 410 00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:21,260 Speaker 1: kind of toward the front of the church. But then 411 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 1: they were, like, praying, and this is, like, a Pentecostal church. So, 412 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: you know, I hear them speaking in tongues, and I 413 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 1: immediately freak out. Like, I must really be at a cult. Like, 414 00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:31,640 Speaker 1: I just remember thinking, I got to get out of here. 415 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: So I was, like, trying to shove people out of 416 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,180 Speaker 1: the way to leave. And then I was like, no, 417 00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:36,350 Speaker 1: I think maybe I'll stay. 418 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:36,740 Speaker 4: I don't know. 419 00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:39,199 Speaker 1: But as they kept praying, like I just started to 420 00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:42,030 Speaker 1: feel like, I don't know, it was like something inside 421 00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:43,810 Speaker 1: of me just felt like I was I was supposed 422 00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:45,410 Speaker 1: to be there. Like it was like I could feel 423 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:47,450 Speaker 1: God or something for the first time. Like I felt 424 00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:50,100 Speaker 1: his presence or something, you know, so. 425 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:56,310 Speaker 3: And then did someone did someone pray for you and pray? 426 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,470 Speaker 3: They started to tell you things about your life. What 427 00:18:59,490 --> 00:18:59,970 Speaker 3: happened with that? 428 00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:00,570 Speaker 5: Yeah. 429 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,790 Speaker 1: So we ended up going back to the night service 430 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,950 Speaker 1: because I just felt like I needed to do something else. 431 00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:08,429 Speaker 1: So we went back to the night service and they 432 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:09,830 Speaker 1: were asking for people if they wanted to come to 433 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:13,370 Speaker 1: the front for prayer. And so I was getting ready 434 00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 1: to go up and I saw the whole row was filled. 435 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,500 Speaker 1: So I didn't go and I was like, well, it's 436 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,020 Speaker 1: not for me. And then the guy was like, but 437 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,460 Speaker 1: you can come right here. So then I went up 438 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: there and then that's when she came over and started 439 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,389 Speaker 1: praying for me. and she said, like, the Lord highlighted 440 00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:30,140 Speaker 1: me to her, so as she was praying, she really was, 441 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:32,700 Speaker 1: she was praying stuff that I was just asking God about, 442 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: you know, and I remember, like, looking like this out 443 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,939 Speaker 1: of my eye, like, how's this lady know anything, like, 444 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,379 Speaker 1: who are you, and I was thinking, like, did my 445 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,669 Speaker 1: friend tell her something, but my friend didn't know who 446 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:45,830 Speaker 1: she was either, But yeah, when she was praying, she 447 00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:49,609 Speaker 1: basically was just telling me that I could change my life. 448 00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 4: And I was like, what do you mean I could 449 00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:51,950 Speaker 4: change my life? 450 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:56,139 Speaker 1: And she said I could go get baptized, be cleansed, 451 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 1: and just start my whole life over again. 452 00:19:57,940 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 4: And so I wanted to. 453 00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:03,859 Speaker 3: And so what happened at baptism? 454 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: Well, when I went to go, I went over there 455 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: to go get baptized. She walked over there with me. 456 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,060 Speaker 1: And I remember it was my turn, and I had 457 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:12,939 Speaker 1: all my clothes on. 458 00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,660 Speaker 4: I didn't care. I was like, I'm doing this. So 459 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 4: I got in. 460 00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:18,740 Speaker 1: Yeah, I sat down in that water. But then immediately 461 00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:20,479 Speaker 1: when I saw the microphone, and they said, you have 462 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,369 Speaker 1: to renounce. And I was like, renounce what? What do 463 00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:22,830 Speaker 1: you mean? 464 00:20:22,869 --> 00:20:24,150 Speaker 4: And they were like, you. 465 00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:27,250 Speaker 1: Have to renounce what you want, why you changed your life, 466 00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:29,470 Speaker 1: why you want to be baptized. And at first, I 467 00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:32,629 Speaker 1: was so scared because I immediately thought about Westboro Baptist 468 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:35,130 Speaker 1: Church and the way that they treated people. 469 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,260 Speaker 4: I was so scared. And so. 470 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: I remember they put the like mic up to me 471 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:42,139 Speaker 1: and I was like, and they were like, what did 472 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:42,580 Speaker 1: you say? 473 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 4: And I was like, I don't know. And then the 474 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 4: third time I shouted it out really loud. 475 00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 476 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 4: I was like, I renounced 20 of us years. 477 00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,830 Speaker 3: So you renounced homosexuality is what? 478 00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:53,070 Speaker 1: Yeah. 479 00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:54,710 Speaker 4: I renounced homosexuality. 480 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:57,909 Speaker 1: And then, um, I went down into the water and 481 00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,750 Speaker 1: I remember when I came up out of the water, 482 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 1: I had like this, um, it was like a bitter 483 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,590 Speaker 1: taste in my mouth to remind me that, you know, 484 00:21:04,609 --> 00:21:06,590 Speaker 1: my past is not who I am now, but it 485 00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:08,590 Speaker 1: was sweet in my mouth too, to remind me like 486 00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:11,730 Speaker 1: my future is bright. And that's like something I'll never forget. 487 00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:14,950 Speaker 1: And if I ever think about anything in homosexuality, I 488 00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:16,389 Speaker 1: have that taste come right to my mouth. 489 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:17,850 Speaker 3: Wow. 490 00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:19,330 Speaker 4: That's wild. 491 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:22,270 Speaker 3: Would you say that's the day that you were born again? 492 00:21:22,609 --> 00:21:23,850 Speaker 3: Like that day? 493 00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:24,630 Speaker 1: Yeah. 494 00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:29,850 Speaker 3: Wow. And then, so talk about the costs that, uh, 495 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,850 Speaker 3: you felt after the cost of following Christ, like what 496 00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:35,010 Speaker 3: happened in that? 497 00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:39,369 Speaker 4: Um, well, I mean, I had to, I. 498 00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:44,770 Speaker 1: Had to, basically I was giving up everything, you know, 499 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:48,530 Speaker 1: I was giving up everything from that life. And, um, 500 00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:50,950 Speaker 1: I remember like the heart, one of the hardest things 501 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,340 Speaker 1: I ever did have to do is go back into 502 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,199 Speaker 1: the house again that I was living at, you know, 503 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,260 Speaker 1: where my wife was at. And saying that, you know, 504 00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: I want to get a divorce. And so when I 505 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 1: told her I wanted a divorce, you know, she was 506 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,870 Speaker 1: really angry. Like she was cussing me out and mad. 507 00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:11,410 Speaker 1: And she's like, she kept saying again that you're joining 508 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:14,629 Speaker 1: this cult. But I was so set on, no, I 509 00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:19,550 Speaker 1: want to do this. And so I remember renting a 510 00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:24,169 Speaker 1: dumpster and saying, throwing basically everything that I owned in 511 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:27,690 Speaker 1: that dumpster. I gave my car away to a girl 512 00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: that was from the church, gave my wedding band away 513 00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:33,740 Speaker 1: to a couple that was getting married. I gave away 514 00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:36,500 Speaker 1: like my guitars, camera equipment. I gave everything away because 515 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:38,340 Speaker 1: I was just like, no, I'm going to follow Jesus. 516 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,859 Speaker 1: This is what I really want to do. My neighbors 517 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,020 Speaker 1: really thought I was nuts, but I just said, you 518 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: can have whatever you want. 519 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,420 Speaker 4: Take it. I mean, I did. 520 00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:46,629 Speaker 1: I gave everything away because I just didn't want to 521 00:22:46,670 --> 00:22:49,790 Speaker 1: have anything that was linked to her ever again. And 522 00:22:49,810 --> 00:22:52,010 Speaker 1: then we had to go through the process of selling 523 00:22:52,050 --> 00:22:54,390 Speaker 1: our home, which we prayed it sold in 24 hours. 524 00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:58,670 Speaker 1: And then the divorce ended up being six months later, 525 00:22:58,690 --> 00:23:00,750 Speaker 1: which was on Halloween of all days. So that was 526 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:03,690 Speaker 1: the day we ended up getting divorced. And then, you know, 527 00:23:03,869 --> 00:23:06,540 Speaker 1: I had to let go of everybody from that walk 528 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: of life. 529 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,180 Speaker 4: Like, I let go of everybody. I had to because 530 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 4: I knew that if I stayed friends. 531 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: With people in the LGBTQ that I was afraid I 532 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,640 Speaker 1: would get sucked back in. So I had to let 533 00:23:16,740 --> 00:23:19,990 Speaker 1: everything go. and just completely walk away. And I loved 534 00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:22,030 Speaker 1: that people there, you know, but I just, I had to. 535 00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:23,550 Speaker 4: Yeah. 536 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:25,110 Speaker 3: And it reminds me of the book in the book 537 00:23:25,150 --> 00:23:28,870 Speaker 3: of Acts chapter 19, it says, and then a number 538 00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:31,310 Speaker 3: of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books 539 00:23:31,350 --> 00:23:33,790 Speaker 3: together and burned them in the sight of all. And 540 00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:37,870 Speaker 3: they counted the value of them and found it to, to, 541 00:23:38,109 --> 00:23:42,310 Speaker 3: it came to 50,000 pieces of silver, which is in 542 00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:46,490 Speaker 3: today's terms is millions of dollars. So Those people counted 543 00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:47,970 Speaker 3: the costs. They burned their stuff. 544 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:48,909 Speaker 1: You did it. 545 00:23:50,350 --> 00:23:50,930 Speaker 3: Praise God. 546 00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:55,010 Speaker 4: I even burned that Bible. That Queen James Bible. I 547 00:23:55,010 --> 00:23:57,770 Speaker 4: even burned it. 548 00:23:57,810 --> 00:24:00,709 Speaker 3: When did that Bible even get produced? I don't even know. 549 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,580 Speaker 1: I think it was in like 2012. I'm pretty sure 550 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: like 2012 or something like that. 551 00:24:05,619 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 552 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:07,580 Speaker 4: Yeah. 553 00:24:07,660 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 3: I don't even want to know what's in the Bible. 554 00:24:09,859 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 3: And then talk about Um, the man by the river. 555 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:23,700 Speaker 1: Oh, so I went down and I started, um, journaling. 556 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: People told me to start journaling and like, just bring 557 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: the Bible and try to read it. So I remember 558 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,540 Speaker 1: going down there and I had brought a chair. I 559 00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:32,020 Speaker 1: had to go all the way down this hill and 560 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,389 Speaker 1: I was sitting on this chair and, um, I. 561 00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,230 Speaker 4: Was just, I was like, okay, Lord, what do you 562 00:24:38,270 --> 00:24:39,810 Speaker 4: want me to do? Like, I don't know what to do. 563 00:24:39,869 --> 00:24:40,410 Speaker 4: What should we do? 564 00:24:40,570 --> 00:24:43,619 Speaker 1: And so, this guy comes over and he's dressed in 565 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,820 Speaker 1: like really raggedy clothes. And I was like, he has 566 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,899 Speaker 1: to be a homeless guy. And so he told me 567 00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:50,859 Speaker 1: his name was James. And, um, he asked me if 568 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,940 Speaker 1: I'd ever, um, read the book of James. And I 569 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: was just like, I didn't even know there was a 570 00:24:55,510 --> 00:24:58,639 Speaker 1: book of James. And he said, yeah, he said, James four, seven. 571 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,930 Speaker 1: He said, I'm telling you, James four, seven is really good. 572 00:25:00,950 --> 00:25:02,470 Speaker 1: You need to read the whole book of James. And 573 00:25:02,490 --> 00:25:03,389 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'll read it. 574 00:25:03,430 --> 00:25:05,570 Speaker 4: I promise. And then he said, you have a journal. 575 00:25:05,590 --> 00:25:06,609 Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, I have a journal. 576 00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: And so I started, um, writing down everything that he 577 00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:13,640 Speaker 1: told me to write and I kept thinking this guy 578 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,609 Speaker 1: knows a lot about the Bible and there was an 579 00:25:16,690 --> 00:25:21,350 Speaker 1: incident that took place in my house as I was 580 00:25:21,450 --> 00:25:24,659 Speaker 1: moving and nobody really knew about it except for a 581 00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 1: couple people and he had told me that the Lord 582 00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:31,700 Speaker 1: heard my cries and he sent angels to hold back 583 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,300 Speaker 1: the enemy so I could get out and I remembered 584 00:25:34,340 --> 00:25:37,649 Speaker 1: that when I was in that house I was crying 585 00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:39,190 Speaker 1: out to God, if you can get me out of 586 00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:40,190 Speaker 1: this situation. 587 00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 4: I was like, I'll change my life forever. 588 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I might cry because this is sensitive. But yeah, 589 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: I could have died there that day. And so he 590 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: made a way for me to get out. And that 591 00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:56,470 Speaker 1: guy that was by the river told me it twice. 592 00:25:56,530 --> 00:26:00,330 Speaker 1: He said, the Lord heard your cries so the angels 593 00:26:00,369 --> 00:26:02,030 Speaker 1: could hold back the enemy so you could get out. 594 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:06,369 Speaker 4: And so I remember like circling it and crying. I 595 00:26:06,410 --> 00:26:07,730 Speaker 4: just looked at him and I was like, what did 596 00:26:07,770 --> 00:26:10,270 Speaker 4: you just say? And he said it again. 597 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:16,190 Speaker 1: And I was just like, I was amazed because I 598 00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:19,300 Speaker 1: knew what he was talking about. And then he had 599 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: told me that, um, he, he had told me that, um, well, 600 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: I have to go now. 601 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,220 Speaker 4: And I was just like, okay. And then he got 602 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 4: up to leave. 603 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:33,770 Speaker 1: And I I remember getting up to give him the money, 604 00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:35,530 Speaker 1: and I turned around, and he wasn't there. 605 00:26:35,630 --> 00:26:36,490 Speaker 4: Like, he was gone. 606 00:26:36,510 --> 00:26:39,570 Speaker 1: And you had to go up this... I'm talking about 607 00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:41,669 Speaker 1: a huge hill. You had to go up this very 608 00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:44,060 Speaker 1: huge hill, and he had to have been a cheetah 609 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:47,300 Speaker 1: that could run extremely fast to even get up that hill, 610 00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:51,340 Speaker 1: you know? And so I was like, is this an angel? Like, 611 00:26:51,420 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 1: I wasn't, you know, sure, because I just didn't know... 612 00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 1: I didn't know where he went. 613 00:26:55,540 --> 00:26:55,609 Speaker 2: Wow. 614 00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:58,649 Speaker 4: And, yeah, it was. 615 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,070 Speaker 1: It was crazy. 616 00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:02,490 Speaker 4: But I ended up seeing him again. So I. 617 00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:09,369 Speaker 1: Went through deliverance at my church because they said it 618 00:27:09,390 --> 00:27:12,010 Speaker 1: was a process because I had so much stuff, so 619 00:27:12,050 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: many things, layers of torment and torture and things that 620 00:27:16,820 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: I went through in my relationship. And I was sitting 621 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,620 Speaker 1: in the church and this lady started praying over me 622 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:25,260 Speaker 1: and she said, the Lord. 623 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:26,640 Speaker 4: Is telling me to tell you. 624 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:31,210 Speaker 1: About James 4-7 and like right when she said it 625 00:27:31,550 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: that guy appeared beside her again and sorry and I 626 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,780 Speaker 1: saw him and I was like James and I was 627 00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:43,460 Speaker 1: like so excited to see him and I was like 628 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 1: where did you go like and I'm talking and the 629 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,790 Speaker 1: lady was like who are you talking to and I'm 630 00:27:47,810 --> 00:27:50,410 Speaker 1: like it's James he's right here and like she didn't 631 00:27:50,450 --> 00:27:53,189 Speaker 1: see him but like I saw him and it was 632 00:27:53,230 --> 00:27:55,290 Speaker 1: the same guy that I saw by the river and 633 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:57,510 Speaker 1: And I'll never forget it. 634 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,260 Speaker 4: It's just something that has really impacted my life. 635 00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:03,460 Speaker 3: So he was an angel. James was an angel. 636 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 637 00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:13,050 Speaker 3: Unbelievable. By the way, James 4-7 is submit yourselves, therefore, 638 00:28:13,090 --> 00:28:18,850 Speaker 3: to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Yeah. 639 00:28:19,670 --> 00:28:26,990 Speaker 3: That's amazing. Oh, my gosh. So praise God for that. Um, 640 00:28:28,430 --> 00:28:32,330 Speaker 3: and then where does God have you now? What's, what's 641 00:28:32,350 --> 00:28:33,390 Speaker 3: going on in your life now? 642 00:28:34,490 --> 00:28:37,690 Speaker 1: Um, well, right now you will always find me in 643 00:28:37,710 --> 00:28:39,860 Speaker 1: the front of the church with my hands raised up 644 00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: worshiping because I, oh, you know, he did everything for me. 645 00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: So I want to, I want to worship him and 646 00:28:45,260 --> 00:28:49,940 Speaker 1: praise him. And, um, I try to share my testimony 647 00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,140 Speaker 1: as much as I can. Um, and you know, God's 648 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,610 Speaker 1: funny because even though I went through the ordeal with 649 00:28:55,650 --> 00:28:57,810 Speaker 1: my parents not talking to me, like he has me 650 00:28:58,190 --> 00:28:59,790 Speaker 1: sharing with parents a lot. 651 00:28:59,830 --> 00:29:01,310 Speaker 4: So like I get. 652 00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:04,450 Speaker 1: On a lot of Zoom calls and I share and 653 00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:07,410 Speaker 1: encourage parents a lot. And I just want to go 654 00:29:07,550 --> 00:29:09,510 Speaker 1: out and share what God has done for me because 655 00:29:09,610 --> 00:29:11,690 Speaker 1: I know that what he did for me, he's going 656 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:15,170 Speaker 1: to do for so many people, you know, because I mean, 657 00:29:15,450 --> 00:29:17,820 Speaker 1: when I think about the LGBTQ, I just think about 658 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: the brokenness that's there. 659 00:29:21,180 --> 00:29:22,260 Speaker 4: It's so broken. 660 00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,780 Speaker 1: And you have people that are like jumping from relationship 661 00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:28,850 Speaker 1: to relationship trying to find love but they're not going 662 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,750 Speaker 1: to find that love there because only love they're going 663 00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:33,350 Speaker 1: to find is in Jesus and you know that's what 664 00:29:33,450 --> 00:29:36,510 Speaker 1: I needed I mean I was in a horrible relationship 665 00:29:36,590 --> 00:29:39,430 Speaker 1: for a long time and I didn't you know I 666 00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 1: just thought that was all that I had for my life. 667 00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:44,340 Speaker 1: But then when I met Jesus and He changed me, 668 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: you know, like, that's all I want to do is 669 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 1: just share what He's done for me because He's so incredible. 670 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 4: I mean, I go to, like, this thing called Jesus 671 00:29:54,310 --> 00:29:54,980 Speaker 4: Nights with. 672 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,290 Speaker 1: All these women and, you know, they pray over me 673 00:29:57,310 --> 00:30:00,830 Speaker 1: and you know, we, we share a lot together and 674 00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:03,090 Speaker 1: I never thought that God would bring me so many 675 00:30:03,150 --> 00:30:05,290 Speaker 1: wonderful people in my life. Even like the day I 676 00:30:05,330 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: was baptized, it's like, God, he already had those people there. 677 00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:10,780 Speaker 1: It's like, he went ahead of me and he already 678 00:30:10,820 --> 00:30:13,100 Speaker 1: prepared a table for me. You know, it's like, he 679 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,220 Speaker 1: took me from this broken table that looked like it 680 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,420 Speaker 1: had splinters on it and the legs were wobbly and 681 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,180 Speaker 1: it had these people that would put me down and 682 00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:23,810 Speaker 1: stuff like that. And he, and then he brings me 683 00:30:23,850 --> 00:30:26,330 Speaker 1: to this beautiful table with other people that, you know, 684 00:30:26,740 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 1: love me or teaching me and guiding me. 685 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 3: And how did your parents react to you becoming a Christian? 686 00:30:36,100 --> 00:30:39,500 Speaker 3: And how did your ex-wife react? I mean, how does 687 00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:41,260 Speaker 3: she feel about this whole thing now? 688 00:30:42,660 --> 00:30:44,830 Speaker 4: Well, my ex-wife, I actually don't talk to her. We 689 00:30:44,850 --> 00:30:46,130 Speaker 4: have no contact at all. 690 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,890 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people will talk to me 691 00:30:48,950 --> 00:30:51,290 Speaker 1: and they feel bad for her, but there was just 692 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,570 Speaker 1: a lot of things that went on to where We 693 00:30:53,610 --> 00:30:55,910 Speaker 1: can't talk. And at first, actually, when I left, I 694 00:30:55,950 --> 00:30:58,090 Speaker 1: thought that I could go in and save her and 695 00:30:58,130 --> 00:31:00,390 Speaker 1: be like, oh, I want you to know Jesus, too. 696 00:31:00,570 --> 00:31:01,990 Speaker 1: And then I realized I can't be the one to 697 00:31:02,030 --> 00:31:05,330 Speaker 1: do that. Like, I can only pray that that, you know, 698 00:31:05,350 --> 00:31:08,190 Speaker 1: the Lord will bring people into her life just like 699 00:31:08,230 --> 00:31:12,300 Speaker 1: he did with me. As far as my parents, I 700 00:31:12,380 --> 00:31:14,380 Speaker 1: talk to them on the phone now and we do 701 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: text some and I've. 702 00:31:15,820 --> 00:31:18,140 Speaker 4: Gone to visit them, I think, three times. But it's 703 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 4: just it's still just a process. 704 00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:21,220 Speaker 3: So, yeah. 705 00:31:21,740 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: And I know like Jesus forgave me and I have 706 00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:27,740 Speaker 1: to forgive them. And I also think that the Lord 707 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 1: put parents in my life to talk to, to show 708 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,030 Speaker 1: them my side, but they're showing me their side too 709 00:31:34,090 --> 00:31:36,210 Speaker 1: as a parent. So it makes me understand a little 710 00:31:36,250 --> 00:31:40,250 Speaker 1: more about like maybe what my mom and dad went through. Yeah. 711 00:31:40,390 --> 00:31:44,590 Speaker 3: And you also say, you know, what you want people 712 00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:48,959 Speaker 3: to hear is don't count anyone out, you know, You 713 00:31:48,980 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 3: were in that lifestyle for 27 years. I was in 714 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:57,180 Speaker 3: it for 20 years and we might see people and think, Oh, 715 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 3: they're just, there's, they're a lost cause. There's no way, 716 00:32:00,190 --> 00:32:03,430 Speaker 3: like there's no way that person's gonna come. I'm trying 717 00:32:03,470 --> 00:32:05,750 Speaker 3: to think of the most radical gay guy I know, 718 00:32:05,970 --> 00:32:09,350 Speaker 3: like who, who, who people would know. Like, you know, whatever, 719 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:16,370 Speaker 3: there's no way Anderson Cooper come to Christ or whoever. Yeah. But, but, 720 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 3: You never know. So talk about, you know, just the 721 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 3: importance of speaking the truth in love and how we 722 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,420 Speaker 3: shouldn't count people out. 723 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,860 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, one day I was praying and the Lord 724 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:31,180 Speaker 1: told me that truth without love wounds people, but love 725 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,590 Speaker 1: without truth keeps people bound. So we always have to 726 00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:37,870 Speaker 1: speak that truth no matter what. And like, for me, 727 00:32:38,070 --> 00:32:45,050 Speaker 1: I see so many affirming churches and like during pride month, 728 00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:48,070 Speaker 1: you see them and, They're all of a sudden just 729 00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:50,510 Speaker 1: changing their ways, and now they're accepting people just to 730 00:32:50,570 --> 00:32:54,430 Speaker 1: come in. And they're not speaking that truth. They're not 731 00:32:54,470 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: even going by what the Bible says. They're just saying, yeah, 732 00:32:57,340 --> 00:32:59,479 Speaker 1: come into our church. And then they're letting them be 733 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:01,100 Speaker 1: the way they are, but they're not telling the truth 734 00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 1: of the Bible. And so I just think it's so 735 00:33:04,060 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: important that we're always trying to speak that truth to people. 736 00:33:07,740 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: And I don't care if a person's been in it 737 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 1: 50 years or 40 years or 30 years. 738 00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:14,970 Speaker 4: There's still hope for everybody. And I truly believe that 739 00:33:15,030 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 4: no matter what. 740 00:33:15,820 --> 00:33:17,900 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't care what anybody's been through because God, 741 00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 1: he's the one that's going to go in and change 742 00:33:20,820 --> 00:33:23,220 Speaker 1: us because, you know, we can't do it ourselves. He's 743 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,670 Speaker 1: the one that comes in and says, hey, you know, 744 00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:27,290 Speaker 1: and like, so when I speak to parents, they're the 745 00:33:27,350 --> 00:33:28,670 Speaker 1: ones that always want to change their kid. 746 00:33:28,690 --> 00:33:29,630 Speaker 4: And I'm always like, look. 747 00:33:30,110 --> 00:33:32,490 Speaker 1: You can intercede and you can pray for your kids, 748 00:33:32,550 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: but God is the one that changes your kids. because 749 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:37,530 Speaker 1: the devil, he tries to, he tries to kill two 750 00:33:37,550 --> 00:33:39,410 Speaker 1: birds with one stone. He's like, I'm taking your kid 751 00:33:39,770 --> 00:33:42,090 Speaker 1: and I'm going to take your joy and your happiness 752 00:33:42,110 --> 00:33:43,810 Speaker 1: that you have. And so I try to tell them 753 00:33:43,830 --> 00:33:46,790 Speaker 1: all the time, like, don't let the enemy take your joy, 754 00:33:46,850 --> 00:33:48,010 Speaker 1: like intercede. 755 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:51,050 Speaker 4: Pray for your child, but give your child to the Lord. 756 00:33:51,170 --> 00:33:53,370 Speaker 1: And you still have to try to enjoy your life too, 757 00:33:53,410 --> 00:33:55,790 Speaker 1: because if not, the enemy is just, he's going to 758 00:33:55,830 --> 00:33:56,510 Speaker 1: win all around. 759 00:33:56,570 --> 00:33:57,510 Speaker 4: So why let him do that? 760 00:33:58,730 --> 00:34:02,860 Speaker 3: Yeah. Amen to that. Um, I, I, I try to 761 00:34:02,980 --> 00:34:05,860 Speaker 3: urge parents to, to do the same thing. Like, cause 762 00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:09,620 Speaker 3: it's a supernatural, you need to battle in the supernatural 763 00:34:09,660 --> 00:34:12,720 Speaker 3: realm with prayer, with the sword of the spirit, which 764 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,130 Speaker 3: is the word of God. Like my mother did for 765 00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:19,710 Speaker 3: 20 years. And, um, you can't because you can't control 766 00:34:19,770 --> 00:34:22,589 Speaker 3: your child. You can't try to manipulate and convince your 767 00:34:22,610 --> 00:34:24,549 Speaker 3: child not to be gay or not to be a lesbian. 768 00:34:24,590 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 3: Like it has to go through prayer. Um, And you 769 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,860 Speaker 3: can't like bang your child over the head with a 770 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:34,100 Speaker 3: Bible or like text them Bible verses all the time. 771 00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,890 Speaker 3: Like that never, like, I'm not going to say that 772 00:34:36,930 --> 00:34:38,609 Speaker 3: never helps, but it. 773 00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:41,030 Speaker 4: Kind of pushes them away. It pushes people away. Yeah. 774 00:34:41,489 --> 00:34:43,910 Speaker 4: But I always tell like, Oh, sorry. 775 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:45,379 Speaker 3: Go ahead. You always tell. 776 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,850 Speaker 1: I was going to say like, um, moms though I 777 00:34:48,870 --> 00:34:51,850 Speaker 1: think moms are amazing prayer warriors like I always say 778 00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:54,029 Speaker 1: like the devil can't touch a praying mom because when 779 00:34:54,070 --> 00:34:56,890 Speaker 1: they're in their prayer closets and they're praying like some 780 00:34:56,930 --> 00:34:58,670 Speaker 1: of the moms I talk to I'm just like I'm 781 00:34:58,710 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: so amazed by by by their prayer and like they 782 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,380 Speaker 1: have I have this one mom had a stack of 783 00:35:04,420 --> 00:35:07,320 Speaker 1: like cards and she carries them with her everywhere and 784 00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 1: she's like I read these in my car I read 785 00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:10,479 Speaker 1: them when I'm at work and I'm just I'm praying 786 00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,620 Speaker 1: I'm over my kid all the time so I think 787 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 1: they know a lot of times that they can't always 788 00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:17,589 Speaker 1: say stuff because it will push the kid away But 789 00:35:17,890 --> 00:35:20,490 Speaker 1: I also think like the generation right now of kids 790 00:35:20,630 --> 00:35:24,219 Speaker 1: have a lot of control over the parents. And it's 791 00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:27,680 Speaker 1: either you accept my life or you can't be a 792 00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:30,020 Speaker 1: part of my life at all. And so that scares 793 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,840 Speaker 1: a lot of the parents. And that's where they start 794 00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 1: to let their partners come into the home. And then 795 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,270 Speaker 1: they change their mindset and their values because their kid 796 00:35:39,310 --> 00:35:40,370 Speaker 1: is threatening them. 797 00:35:40,810 --> 00:35:42,950 Speaker 4: And they're afraid they're never going to see the kid again. So, 798 00:35:42,969 --> 00:35:44,790 Speaker 4: I mean, a lot of them do that. 799 00:35:46,590 --> 00:35:50,049 Speaker 3: It's emotional blackmail. And I've seen this happen over and 800 00:35:50,110 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 3: over again to families who are, the parents are solid Christians. 801 00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 3: The child comes out and the parents are so distraught 802 00:35:57,940 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 3: that they end up becoming gay affirming, which is the 803 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,069 Speaker 3: most unloving thing you could do to a child. Like it's, 804 00:36:04,170 --> 00:36:07,710 Speaker 3: you're literally aiding and abetting your child down a path 805 00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:13,770 Speaker 3: of destruction. And it's so dangerous. And so, um, the, uh, 806 00:36:15,070 --> 00:36:17,739 Speaker 3: I always say, you know, parents need to hold fast 807 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:22,980 Speaker 3: to their convictions and go to their prayer closets and 808 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,460 Speaker 3: just keep praying. And by the way, I mean, I, 809 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 3: I haven't really announced, I mean, you brought, you brought 810 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,100 Speaker 3: the mother's prayer up. I haven't announced this officially yet, but, um, 811 00:36:33,380 --> 00:36:36,399 Speaker 3: for people who are listening, uh, I, uh, I wrote 812 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 3: a book called a mother's prayer for her gay son. 813 00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:44,110 Speaker 3: And the subtitle is a guide for parents, family, and friends. 814 00:36:45,260 --> 00:36:50,420 Speaker 3: And it releases February of 2027. So just keep that 815 00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 3: in mind. I'll give you more information when it gets 816 00:36:52,980 --> 00:36:55,940 Speaker 3: closer to that. But there is nothing better than a 817 00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 3: praying mom. And not just my mom, but my siblings 818 00:36:59,980 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 3: were praying. My dad was praying. But my mother, most 819 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 3: of all. I mean, she's the one who typed this 820 00:37:06,300 --> 00:37:10,630 Speaker 3: 24-point prayer and typed it up to God and passed 821 00:37:10,670 --> 00:37:13,250 Speaker 3: it out to my entire family so they could be 822 00:37:13,270 --> 00:37:20,740 Speaker 3: praying too. So- That's vitally important. Monica, I am so 823 00:37:21,260 --> 00:37:24,130 Speaker 3: happy for you. You're in the kingdom of God. You 824 00:37:24,150 --> 00:37:28,089 Speaker 3: have eternal life. You're completely free because Christ set you free. 825 00:37:28,790 --> 00:37:31,009 Speaker 3: So thank you for coming on and sharing that with us. 826 00:37:31,810 --> 00:37:32,029 Speaker 1: Yeah. 827 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,290 Speaker 4: Thank you for having me on. 828 00:37:33,469 --> 00:37:36,650 Speaker 3: Wait, don't touch that dial. Please like and subscribe. And 829 00:37:36,690 --> 00:37:40,670 Speaker 3: also please consider becoming a patron on Patreon for as 830 00:37:40,690 --> 00:37:42,690 Speaker 3: little as $ 5 a month. You can really help us 831 00:37:42,790 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 3: out on the show. The link is below, and we so, 832 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:47,899 Speaker 3: so appreciate it. Thank you. 833 00:37:51,219 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Beckett 834 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,910 Speaker 2: Cook Show. Your support makes this content possible. All episodes 835 00:37:58,969 --> 00:38:01,810 Speaker 2: of The Beckett Cook Show are also available on YouTube. 836 00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:06,150 Speaker 2: For more information about Beckett and his ministry, visit his 837 00:38:06,190 --> 00:38:08,170 Speaker 2: website at beckettcook.com.